Never Forget Who You Are
by ScarletCougar
Summary: Zuko fanfic of self discovery. Tale of growth and maturing, involving well known characters and some hopefully well liked new characters. Set after episode, Tales of Ba Sing Se, in late fall. Rated M for mature content. Honor is the Law, Love is the Bond.
1. Chapter 1: Beginnings and Endings

_Author's Notes_

_Sections of this fanfic are taken from the A:TLA series transcripts. (see I hope everyone enjoys how I integrated them. Some of my draft readers have had fun sorting out which episode I took some phrases from. I do not own the A:TLA characters or the episode transcripts, though I really wish I did… they are SOOO good._

_**Chapter 1: Beginnings & Endings**_

"How was your night Zuko?" Iroh asked, pretending to prune his bonsai tree.

Zuko slammed the sliding door to his bedroom.

Iroh's eyebrows rose in surprise. He had been watching out the window, hoping to capture some glimpse of the "happy" couple. Judging by Zuko's initial flare of temper, he wondered what happened.

Zuko slid his door open a crack and softly said, "It was nice," and quietly closed it again.

Iroh smiled. _Coming to Ba Sing Se was the right choice,_ he thought. For once, his nephew was going to experience normalcy… not strewn with the chaos of war, Fire Nation politics, and deadly intrigues. He was glad to do their bidding, a promise he made to two lovely women, a promise he made to himself and silently to his nephew. He promised Ursa, then later Faelin, that he would care of the lad as his own, to give him what Zuko's own family could not. Iroh was content. His nephew had been on his first date. He smiled. Time to dig out a special tea to celebrate!

-----

The search for Appa continued in the world of Team Avatar. Katara watched Aang with concern as she could see his heart breaking with the loss. Where could Appa be? She dragged Toph out again to wonder the streets and explore. They took the train to the Middle Ring districts where all the shops and classy restaurants were. As they walked, she noted they were being followed.

Toph sneered. "I told you. We are being HANDLED. Get used to it, Sugar Queen. They won't let us out of their sights. It is like a prison or slavery ... only without the beatings."

Katara stopped in mid-stride, shocked. "Slavery? The Earth Kingdom doesn't really condone slavery, does it?"

Toph didn't bother waiting as she spoke nonchalantly, trying to ignore their followers, "Ya, every big nation does. You won't see it in the smaller villages, but in a city like this..."

"The Northern Water Kingdom doesn't believe in slavery!" Katara cut Toph's casual comment short.

Toph snorted, "Well officially, neither does the Earth Kingdom. They call it indentured servitude, but it is still slavery. And being watched and handled, as we are... it is just another form of slavery. I HATE the city."

-----

The next couple of days felt so odd for Zuko. He felt out of sorts. Something nagged at him about that girl, Jinn. Why did his life have to be so complicated? What was she really after? What could he actually do? He was so confused. He had been so sure she was a spy. Would anyone actually care who he really was here? Did it have to be complicated? Had he... given up on his dreams? He scarcely remembered those dreams anymore.

She was nice. It was such a whirlwind to be pulled through the streets by her. Her smile at the lit lanterns at the Fountain of Lights lifted his spirit. Now what?

"NEPHEW!" Iroh bellowed, interrupting his thoughts.

Zuko jumped from his reverie as the water had boiled away to nothing and the hot kettle was hissing with dry heat. He heard the familiar giggle. Jinn was in the Tea House.

Jinn giggled again. "Hi Lee! Be careful. I don't want to see you juggle THAT kettle!"

The Tea House owner smiled alongside Iroh at Zuko's awkwardness. Then he gave Zuko the afternoon off. Young men need to sometimes have time for their lady friends.

Jinn gingerly took Zuko's arm and led him off into the sunny streets of the Refugee Craftsmen's District of the eastern side of the Lower Ring. It was so weird. He never felt like he was in control around her. As they walked she chatted about all sorts of things that her family was up to and the different sights that her father had talked about from his trip to the Middle Ring. He could hardly keep up with the recitation. He even started to feel bad that it annoyed him somewhat. But he liked it, which also annoyed him.

She was describing a garden that her father visited when he saw from the corner of his eye a wisp of dark orange firelight. He turned to see if it was firebending as a young woman adjusted her cloak hood to better cover her head and shield her from the sun. He frowned. Something wasn't right. He shook his head hoping it would jostle the elusive memory more clearly into place. It could not be. He touched a small pouch he kept hidden behind the strap of his belt as he looked at the woman again, wondering who he had seen and if it was who he though it was. However, she had turned a corner and was gone.

Jinn tugged Zuko's hand. "Lee? Are you listening? What are you looking at?"

"What is down that way?" Zuko's eyes drifted distractedly to the place where the woman had vanished.

"Oh, don't go there. It is kind of rough sometimes. And men go there for... umm... personal reasons. There are all kinds of dishonorable activities. Someone could get hurt. Forget it."

She cheerily pulled him off to a new place for a late lunch. He looked over his shoulder in the forbidden direction. Then, he turned his attention back to Jinn. Why invite trouble?

She ate slowly, fiddling with her food and not talking, which was unusual for the normally talkative girl who would devour her food with great appetite. Now Zuko was more confused. "Lee?"

"Yes, what?" He looked up from his noodles.

Jinn mumbled not looking up from her own bowl of noodles, "I have to tell you something."

She was all serious. This was it. His world would be shattered. She was going to tell him she was sorry, that she was a spy.

Unwilling to meet his eyes, Jinn stated plainly, "I am leaving."

Zuko just blinked at her, stunned.

Jinn still would not look him in the eye. "My father got a house in the Middle Ring. We move tomorrow."

So it wasn't the world-shattering news he had expected. It was devastating nonetheless. He clenched his jaw, and then he took a deep breath and sighed. "I see. Then, this is goodbye."

He paid for their lunch and walked back broodingly to the Tea House. There he scrubbed pots and pans and dishes with such vigor he almost broke a few. _So much for worrying about life being complicated!_ CRACK! _Dammit_. Zuko sighed. He set down the broken plate.


	2. Chapter 2: Who are you?

_**Chapter 2: Who are you?**_

Sleep was fitful for Zuko that night. Maybe he had eaten something bad? Maybe it was the pendulum of his emotions that swung to the extremes. Maybe it was that he just got dumped for the first time with his first girlfriend on the fourth day they knew each other. He gritted his teeth and rolled over.

Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to banish the scenes and thoughts from his mind. Giving up, he violently threw the blanket from him and got up from his bed mat. _What was the point?!_

_"What is that way?"_

_"Don't go there. Just forget it."_

He was sure he saw a flash of dark orange fire under that woman's hood. Not many people had hair like that, some of the clergy from the Fire Nation, a few scattered tribes in the highlands of the north on the continent, but not much else. Why was that district forbidden? Curiosity got the better of him. He dug out of a cloth sack the new Blue Spirit mask he had been working on since the old one was lost with everything else in their mad dash from Azula into beggary. The painting was not yet finished, but it would do.

He dressed in the darkest greens he owned, donned the mask, tucked the twin blades a soldier let him keep for defending the Tea Shop from Jet, the raving madman, into his belt... and paused. Nodding to himself he tapped the tiny pouch still there tucked behind his belt. Sometimes he felt foolish for carrying it. But the times he did not carry it, he met with all kinds of misfortune. It contained a tiny cloth from his mother, a small stone that some strange fortuneteller had given him (it glowed with its own fire, a multicolored fire... she called it a fire opal that was found in a hidden cave where a meteor once struck), and a lock of hair the color of fire. It was his good-luck charm… and a reminder. Quietly, so as not to wake is uncle, not that anything could wake Iroh from his snoring, the Blue Spirit slunk into the shadows of Ba Sing Se.

He always felt free as the Blue Spirit. Here in Ba Sing Se, he felt a mixture of freedom and fear of discovery. He traced the alleyways to Jinn's home. He had escorted her there before. There were guards at the door. The wagon with all their belongings was still being packed. Odd. Why pack and move in the night? Why have guards? This city was such a city of walls and secrets. It sometimes irritated him as he wondered just how much freedom he really had. How much freedom does its citizens have? This looked more like they were ordered to move. He was glad he was a refugee. They seemed to have more freedom than its citizens. Or maybe she was a spy. The quiet exchanges seemed respectful. Feeling betrayed, he slid back into the shadows and headed in an altogether different direction.

The Craftsmen's District offered a great many places to hide in the night. He found he had to avoid other night prowlers, and not the animal kind. The housing past this point into the eastern side of the Lower Ring became very dense. He pulled himself onto the roof of a house and prowled across the rooftops.

He peered down into the streets to discover them bustling with activity! People were hustling all kinds of things, many illegal. There were houses lit bright with red lanterns enticing men to relax in the arms of some beauty. There were kids dashing about well past their bedtime looking as though they were underfed and on an errand with fear biting at their heels.

Seedy... this was what he would call this place. Dark and seedy. So, here lies the black market where anything and everything was for sale, especially human flesh and information. _Hmmm... Information._ He eased back from his perch as a thought occurred to him. _This could definitely be useful._ He might not be part of some secret organization like the White Lotus as his uncle was, but this dark and dangerous world... he was no stranger to.

He turned to backtrack to his own distract with this newfound idea when his foot caught. Not wanting to make a sound and give away his location, he froze to see what caught him, annoyed that he misplaced a foot on a roof tile. But the roof tile was wrapped around his foot. Surprise chilled hill. Darkness blotted out the starlight as a shadow had him pinned before he could think. A blade, short and sharp was at his throat.

"Trespassers are killed like invading spiders in this area. But then, the Blue Spirit has a high price on his head, profitable in any nation. Let's make this fun, shall we?" A deep male voice emanated from the shadowy man.

The man backed off just a little and released the earthbending on Zuko's foot. He then whispered harshly in Zuko's ear, "Run."

Deep down inside fear and fury warred with each other. "Run." Harsh and deadly. Zuko's sweat cooled in the night air causing him to shiver slightly as it slid down his spine like melting snow. **Never give up without a fight** was what his knife said, the knife his uncle had given him when he was a boy. He bolted the second his foot was free, dashed across two rooftops, and spun around to face his attacker.

No one was there. The night was silent.

He panted and searched the darkness for... what? More darkness? The tiles gave way and the stars moved. Then, they vanished as shadow covered them. The flash of a silvery blade came down.

Zuko twisted in his captors grip and dropped from the rooftop to dash through the streets. He reached for his twin blades. The shadow had him pinned against the wall before he could pull them free. Every breath was too long, too much time. This was no thug he was fighting. This was someone skilled, an earthbender. He was obviously only playing with Zuko.

The light from a night lantern shone from down the densely housed street. It illuminated the figure and the silver embroidery on the black clothing. An assassin. A guilded assassin. They know no nation and have only the barest loyalty to their own guild. The fire nearly went out inside him. Zuko thought in those slow minutes that he was going to die. He would never answer the question that haunted him. What happened to his mother?. He would never tell his uncle how much he appreciated him. Then his mother's words came to mind. _"Never forget who you are..." _

He closed his eyes and let go… accepted his fate. In that moment of realization and peace, he found a small balance.

_"Never forget who you are..."_

"_Never give up without a fight…"_

Snapping his eyes open and calling back his focus, a white sparks danced along the assassin's blade. Startled, the assassin backed away, but only for a moment. A moment was all Zuko needed. He reached for his twin blades and bashed his elbow. _DAMN! _The space was too cramped for swords!

Like a hungry puma-cat, the assassin pounced!

Ghostly hands placed themselves on Zuko's shoulders.

The assassin landed with his blade embedded in the wall. _What was that white light?_ The man wondered suspiciously. His hand still tingled with it like lightening shocks. _And where did my quarry go? Did the house swallow him?_ He considered thundering the wall down, bending it into rubble. Unfortunately he was out of time. _Enough playing._ _The Blue Spirit is still just a boy it seems. Well if this boy wants to play on these grounds, he better get a teacher. He did give a good chase though, and even turned to face him._ _Hmm... maybe he would be a worthy student._ The man stood gracefully then crouched a little, gathering his muscles and sprang to the roof.

_Lightening? I made lightening!_ Zuko was so excited that the how vanished with his breath as glowing ghostly hands pulled him THROUGH the wall. He was being buried alive. He could not breathe. The weight of stone was IN him. Just as he began to panic, it was over. He was inside a pitch black room. He could see nothing.

A soft voice whispered with exhaustion, "The Silver Assassins are the deadliest in the world. Luckily you were not this one's target."

_Not his target? Was this woman out of her mind?! She was not there. How could she possibly know? I sure felt like a target._ He whirled to face the voice and railed at her in fury, "Who are you and what in the nine hells are you talking about?!"

"Not like that," Her voice was sounding very suddenly exhausted, like she had been mortally wounded. There is a door behind you. Leave this place. Leave this district." He still could not see in the darkness. He backed up cautiously till he found the door. He opened it. Starlight flooded the room and the hooded figure dashed through a doorway into darkness. He thought of following her. The predawn light in the starry sky changed his mind. It was time for the Blue Spirit to be scarce. There were too many questions, too many secrets. This needed further exploration and preparation, another time. He vowed to return and deal a harsh blow to that assassin.

His legs still felt heavy like stone. His breath was still difficult. But he eased his way home. He slipped into his room and stashed away the Blue Spirit. As he flopped like lead on his bed mat, feeling heavy and tired, he heard his uncle waking. He wished his uncle was not so loud and cheery as he announce the beautiful morning and shouted that tea would be ready soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Messages

_**Chapter 3: Messages**_

Morning routine was the same for "Team Avatar" as Sokka scraped the fuzz of his young moustache while Aang shaved his head. Katara was tying back her hair as she wondered over to Toph's room to wake Her Royal Morning Rudeness. To her surprise, Toph was awake. She was in the corner of the room looking very awake and frightened.

Katara: "Toph? Toph. What's wrong?"

Toph: "One of THEM was in here. I felt it... barely. They sent us a message. Katara..."

Katara had never really seen Toph so on edge. She gathered some water and stepped cautiously into the room and looked around. Nothing was there. "Who or what is THEM?"

Toph pointed to the wall near Katara's head and whispered, "Ghosts. I can't bend against ghosts."

Katara rolled her eyes as she turned to leave Toph's room. "There is no such thing as ghosts Toph." Then she froze. Embedded in the wall was a small throwing knife. I silvery ring with a scroll hung from it. "Get dressed Toph," ordered Katara as she snatched the scroll and dagger. "GUYS! We have a problem! From now on, we take shifts through the night like when we camped. Someone was in Toph's room and it wasn't any of us."

Toph: "It was a GHOST!"

The boys mumbled that there was no such thing as ghosts. The floor shook with Toph's frustration. They finally all gathered in the lounge as Katara opened the scroll. Gently, she stated, "Ghosts don't leave behind messages pinned to the wall in neat little scrolls." The scroll was sealed with white wax imprinted with the image of a lotus. She handed it to Toph to feel who handed it around for everyone to see. "Who is the white lotus?"

When the scroll came back to Katara with everyone shrugging in response to her question, she broke the seal and read the message.

_**Leave no trace of this message when you are done reading. Your lives and the lives of your friends depend on it.**_

_**(A circle divided into four parts with the symbols of each nation in a quarter of the circle was drawn just below the first instructions of the message.)**_

_**Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want. Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring. Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humor! Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.**_

_**It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole. **_

_**It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful. Though, he has much to learn and not a great deal of time to learn it.**_

_**You have friends in Ba Sing Se, even if they haven't yet come to terms with the notion. Perhaps we will do tea sometime! Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life's true delights, but sharing it with friends is even better!**_

Aang snatched the message to reread it. "That is avatar stuff he is talking about!" He read and reread the message till he had the information memorized.

Toph was searching her thoughts over and over for why that message held such familiarity. "Ok... that ghost was NOT that Iroh guy! NOT! But..."

Katara: "This is from Iroh?"

Sokka: "So. They are here in Ba Sing Se too. Will we never be rid of them?!"

Toph: "Don't be so stone headed. Iroh and Zuko... well... they have gone through alot. And the Fire Nation wants them dead."

Aang: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend. This changes nothing at the moment though."

Katara: "And yet, it changes everything. I wonder where they are. And how they got a ghost as Toph calls it to deliver this message and why... why not just send it to us by normal means."

Aang: "The White Lotus! I remember now! Back when I was in the Temple, we hosted some members of the White Lotus. They are some secret sect of people."

Sokka: "So what are they all about?"

Toph dings Sokka off the forehead with a small stone and he cried out with the small pain. "SECRET!"

Aang: "Ya, secret... I don't know. Just that we always helped them in their travels. They knew everything about everything. But I didn't think there would be any now. That is the kind of group that Ozai would wipe out in a second."

Aang puts the letter into the woodstove and watches it burn to ash.

-----

That was close. Too close. He had fun with that Blue Spirit boy for too long when we was supposed to be doing another job. He was getting too old for this. He leaned against the wall of the underground chamber. Two other members of the guild were sitting at a table watching him. Late morning breakfast was served by one of them.

Mu-Tan: "There are too few of us to keep up with the tasks."

Ling: "That is why we are being selective about our job assignments."

Bao-Li: "You took a risk today that you shouldn't have. Did you even manage to deliver your message?"

Mu-Tan: "The risk was worth it. I think I found an apprentice. And yes, I had to earthbend like crazy, but it got delivered in time."

Bao-Li: "I thought you vowed to never take on another apprentice!"

Mu-Tan: "This one is important. And... He is good... real good. Not afraid and innovative. He needs to learn some self-control, but he will be adept."

Ling: "Can he be trusted?"

Mu-Tan: "Can you?"

They sat and ate in silence. Mu-Tan pondered how he was going to meet with this Blue Spirit again. He wondered if this Blue Spirit was who he thought he was. He wondered because of the earthbending... or was it firebending or... what was it? The boy sparked lightening, just a tiny spark. Then he was sucked in by the stone wall of the house. How? He decided to wait every night on the rooftops. The Blue Spirit is a curious lad. He was sure to return. And if he wasn't a curious lad, he would want to try to take a piece out of the man who nearly took a piece of him. Either way, Mu-Tan was sure to meet the Blue Spirit again... and soon.

-----

Singing brightly, Iroh prepared tea and breakfast. "Nephew! Wake up! It is morning!"

Zuko growls, "No. Go away. I don't want to." He rolls over and pulls the blanket over his head. He was so tired.

Iroh: "Life goes on, nephew, even if you had a bad day and stayed out all night like a roaming angry ghost. Life goes on and we have work to do."

Zuko grumbled and growled some more. He ached all over. He ached inside too. Jinn would not be coming by the Tea House today. He flopped back and pulled the blankets over his head to brood some more.

Iroh: "The world has not ended Zuko. Life, as I said, goes on!"

Snarling, Zuko sat up. He was going to yell that the world ended when Azula announced he was wanted dead or alive, the world ended when his father humiliated him and exiled him, the world ended when Jinn left, the world ended... when his mother left... He sighed. He remembered that moment when he was sure he was going to die. It was the first time he cared about it. He had thought himself invincible before then. He felt there was all the time in the world for him to say whatever he wanted to his uncle. That almost vanished, and not that long ago. He decided not to yell at his uncle. He flopped back again onto the bed mat feeling troubled... lost... and so exhausted.

Iroh looked at Zuko's closed door with concern. "I will tell the owner you are not well, nephew. But you cannot miss tomorrow." Iroh drank his tea, ate his breakfast and got ready for work at the Tea House. He left quietly, and then leaned in from the door. "Oh nephew! I will be home late tonight. I have a Pai Sho game in the Western Square! There is some money on the table for you to get supper with. Please don't cook anything. I want to return to a home! "

Pulling the blanket more over his head as he curled up, Zuko thought how funny his uncle always was. He smiled a small smile and drifted to sleep, grateful for the reprieve from work.

Noisy growling and rumbling woke Zuko in the late afternoon. He sat up to yet another incessant growl. His stomach was complaining loudly for food. He scrubbed himself clean, ignoring the rumbling in his tummy. Pai Sho... why did his uncle have to go to a Pai Sho game tonight? Zuko wanted to talk to him! Slowly as he sorted out the previous night's events in his head, a great proud excited smile grew on his face. He made lightening! It was only a little bit and only for a second. GROWL! "Ok ok..." it was time to go find food. He decided to also prepare for his next night's prowl why he was at it.

He ate an early supper just on the edge of the forbidden district. He watched. He waited. _Patience,_ he kept telling himself. _Patience._ Patience was not something he was ever really good with. _Fine._ He got up and wandered into the forbidden district as though he had a purpose. Well, he did, didn't he? He decided he was going to map out a section by day.

He inspected every sales stall. He walked into every shop and bar. He avoided the bawdy red lantern houses. He was not interested in his face being stuffed into some strange woman's bosom. He listened to the gossip and whispers. _City of walls and secrets indeed._ It was as much freedom as it was prison. The city had so many rules and breaking them meant you disappeared. Then he remembered the boy who accused him of being a firebender. That boy just vanished. He wondered what happened to him.

He quickly chastised himself as a thug gruffly pulled him into an alley. There was a brief scuffle. Zuko stood up rubbing his ribs as he looked down at the unconscious fool. Shaolin martial arts training, he was glad his uncle forced him to learn this unarmed combat method. He knew it helped his firebending too. But it turned out to be especially useful in cramped quarters for unarmed combat. Why didn't he remember it yesterday? _Oh yeah, because it was an assassin trying to kill me and I wanted to be sure to kill him first._

He wandered the streets some more and offered his services in exchange for information. There was a job house where he filled out his skills. He inquired about guilds, even less scrupulous guilds. The job master raised an eyebrow. "Young man, you must be careful what you ask for, especially in these parts. My name is Bao-Li. If you are in serious dire straights and need work, come back and see me." Zuko left.

As he made his way through the crowded streets and about to turn down an alley that was a shortcut to the Craftsman's District, a small figure ran into him. It was one of the small children on errands. His hand snapped out and caught the child's wrist in a firm grip. Zuko's small lucky pouch was in the child's hand. The child looked up with messy chin-length hair, a dirty face and bright green eyes that were very frightened. This little boy could not be more than six years old. Zuko pulled him into the shadow of the alley and knelt down to be at eye level to the child. Without releasing his grip on the child's wrist, he plucked the pouch from the small hand. Softly, Zuko warned the child, "You should not try this again. I might not be so nice." The child's eyes widened and he flinched at the blows he was expecting to come. This made Zuko frown. "What you are doing is dishonorable. Stealing from another. Why are you doing it?"

The child squeaked in fright, "I'm hungry. And Fong took it all away from me, everything. I have nothing. Not even me Da to get us food. I'm hungry." Tears threatened to spill from the child's eyes, but stubbornness held them from doing so.

He was annoyed that society would allow this to be the fate of a child. He remembered when he was hungry. Now he had a choice. This small boy did not. It was wrong. "There are two things in life that no one can take from you. Education and honor. Honor is what you earn. Education is what you learn. Once you have them, you are the only one who can cast them aside. What is your name?"

Child: "Ty-min."

Zuko was surprised even more. This was not a boy. It was a small girl! He set aside his anger for later. "If you ask respectfully, sometimes you might get lucky. Honor and respect will be returned." He pulled a coin and a small bread roll he was saving for later out of his pocket and placed them in the small hand he still held trapped in his grip. Then he released the little girl's wrist.

She blinked at him in surprise. Then she dropped down bowing her brow to the floor as she held her treasures to her chest. Zuko's hand snapped out fast again to grip her chin and force her to stand. Fright was in her eyes again as she wondered if she should have just run. "Never look away. An honorable bow is never lower than your shoulder height and you never take your eyes off the person you are bowing to. You are not a slave. Do it again... and... never forget who you are." He let her go. She blinked at him and held his gaze as she bowed again as he had instructed. He smiled and returned the honorable bow. A grin split her face suddenly and she dashed away. His mother had used similar words with him when he was a little younger that this child. He shoved the ache of that loss aside.


	4. Chapter 4: Mistakes

_**Chapter 4: Mistakes**_

Zuko had considered returning that night as the Blue Spirit to see if he could find the ghost woman, or the fire-haired woman, or the Silver Assassin. Ty-min was also on his mind. Who was Fong? Would the little girl be ok? Would she end up like the other one? His frown deepened into a troubled look as he remembered. He touched the small pouch... and remembered.

_She smiled at him despite the deep bloody cut over her left eye that licked across her nose and down the other side of her face. Azula... this was how Azula treated children. The girl's fiery hair was limp and still dirty from the fight. Even though she could not speak due to her wounds, even though she was certain to never see from that eye again, she smiled trustingly up at him. She trusted him to keep her safe. He returned and would keep her safe as he promised. He sat next to her bedroll as she clung to his hand while she lay waiting for the healer. His shame ate at him. This was his fault. He left them on the shore to make their way to the village even though he had promised to see them to the temple. He left them. And this is the result. Her bright green eye held the smile and trust even after the life faded from it and her hands went lax around his. His fault. His mistake. He swore never to make this kind again. Not ever. _

He slammed the door of his home as he entered. Good thing his uncle was out at a Pai Sho game. Zuko was no longer in a communicative mood. He wanted to break things and scream into the night. His fists clenched. Maybe he will go out as the Blue Spirit after all...

That frustrating memory was from what seemed ages ago to Zuko. And yet, the pain of it felt like today. It was way back when he was first exiled and searching for the avatar, before he was even sure the avatar existed. His uncle asked him for a favor. His uncle so rarely asked for favors so he complied. He got more than he bargained for. Escort duty. How inferior for such a warrior and noble as he was. He was asked to escort some monks and priestesses and a group of children to a temple. That was so long ago. His mistakes in that first mission while in exile brought pain, shame and fury to him now.

Fong. He is ruining Ty-min's life, like Azula ruined that other little girl's life. He didn't want it to end the same way. So he donned the Blue Spirit and slinked off in the early night. The chill air reminded him that the season was changing. This would be a short trip. He decided to just scout about. And if he met that Silver Assassin again, he would be more ready for him. He left behind the twin blades and packed onto his body some smaller knives he had been collecting. They were not great quality, but they would suffice if he needed them to.

He took a different route, not wanting routine to be his undoing. He skirted the edge of the Craftsman's District from a different angle and had to stop and stare! A firebender. He stepped back and looked into a glassmaker's window. A firebender. Zuko was stunned. The firebender was an older man, not as old as his uncle, and was firebending blobs into glass balls and using Breath of Fire to heat and expand them into glass vases. He logged this in his mind to come back to.

Zuko was on his own little secret mission. He ducked into an alley as police officials dragged a gagged man into their box-wagon. The gagged man did not look like a thief or anyone dangerous. Maybe he broke the law somehow? Zuko wondered what rule he broke. He wondered why the man was gagged. He was glad it was not him. He dashed down the alley and into the dark forbidden district. Again he prowled cautiously listening to the gossip, listening for names like Ty-min, Fong, and Silver Assassin.

-----

_Right on schedule._ Mu-Tan loved being right. He had good hunches. He thought of attacking the Blue Spirit again to see what he was made of. He noted that the twin blades were not at the young masked man's side. Silently he shadowed the Blue Spirit's movements. Through the alleys and over the roofs, Mu-Tan decided that this young man was searching for something very definite. He found himself a good perch on a high building chimney, in its shadow, where he could watch much of the Blue Spirit's movements.

Would this young man be a worthy student? Does he actually aspire to be part of the Silver Circle Assassins? He has certainly gained the reputation to qualify. But there was another suspicion that Mu-Tan wanted to follow up on. Was the Blue Spirit who he thought he was? He thought back to the first sightings of the Blue Spirit. His theory stemmed from the fact that the timing coincided with the exile of the Fire Nation Prince, Zuko. But would such a man dare to be a refugee here? Why? Were the rumors true? Did the young man truly now have a death sentence on his head by his own kin? Could he be trusted? When a man loses everything including his family and home, his heart turns dark and cold as stone and his hatred burns up what little conscience he might have. These men made some of the best and deadliest assassins. They didn't care if they killed. But they also made for the most recklessly dangerous of assassins. They did not care if they died either. Whereas those who forsake family and home for noble and honorable reasons to turn to learning the deadly arts of the assassin in order to eliminate the scum of the world and protect the worthy... now they were truly dangerous, for they had BELIEF. Belief and LOVE. Two powerful things that drove a man to do terrible and dangerous things that need to be done, that others just do not have the skill nor the courage to do. Mu-Tan wondered what kind of man this Blue Spirit was as he watched him scout the alleys and roofs.

The Blue spirit sometimes laid flat on a dark roof and patiently listened to the talk going on below. Mu-Tan watched. The Blue Spirit dropped into a nearly lit alley corner. Mu-Tan frowned at the risk this young man was taking, risking being seen or discovered. So, Mu-Tan stood for a better look and brought up a spyglass to see exactly what was going on.

The Blue Spirit dropped down behind a small child. Mu-Tan recognized the boyish little girl. Ty-min was her name. Shulia, her mother, made the child out like a boy to save her from being abused as little girls sometimes are in these parts. Mu-tan wondered what the Blue Spirit was up to. The child was sitting with legs drawn up watching some men have a rooster-dog fight. The rooster-dogs barked and pecked at each other and the men and women betted furiously for their favorites. The Blue Spirit came close to the child and set something beside her. Then he backed into the shadow and left to continue his scouting. Mu-Tan refocused the spyglass. What did he leave at the child's side? When the child shifted, she discovered the item. It was a small sack filled with fruit and cheese. Her bright green eyes grew wide and she looked around suddenly for who left it. Snatching it up, she dashed home to show her mother. One of the gang thugs intercepted the girl and she growled and dashed in another direction and through a small hole in a fence with her pursuer close behind. He stopped at the hole and yelled something at the child. The Blue Spirit dropped in behind him and slit his throat. Quickly cleaning the blade on the dead man's shirt, he slipped into a section of town that Mu-Tan could not see from his perch.

So... that is the kind of young man that the Blue Spirit was.

Mu-Tan had much to ponder. Did he want to risk taking on another apprentice? The jobs were getting more risky with the Fire Nation. Fewer and fewer guild members returned. Only the very best were still around. And it annoyed him that people now called them the Silver Assassins. Have the name and purpose truly become lost? Silver Circle. Mu-Tan remembered when he was initiated. A woman with curly straw-colored hair clipped back with a white lotus blossom bestowed upon him the small silver pendant of a silver ring crossed vertically by a silver dagger. _"Welcome Mu-Tan to the Silver Circle of Guards. Never forget who you are from this day forward."_

As the Blue Spirit, Zuko laid flat on the roof watching the rooster-dog fight and listening to the talking and shouting. Then he saw someone familiar. He dropped down behind a small child. The child was sitting with legs drawn up watching some men have a rooster-dog fight. The rooster-dogs barked and pecked at each other and the men and women betted furiously for their favorites. He came close to the child and set something beside her. Then he backed into the shadow and left to continue his scouting. That should help her a bit. If Fong trouble her, then Fong can't be too far away. He decided to linger and maybe follow Ty-min to see that she got home safely before returning to his prowling. The Silver Assassin will have to wait. When the child shifted, she discovered the item. It was a small sack filled with fruit and cheese. Her bright green eyes grew wide and she looked around suddenly for who left it. Zuko stayed hidden, the mask hiding the small soft smile that no one ever really sees. Snatching up the sack, she dashed home to show her mother.

A gang thug intercepted the girl. "Well child," he said with an evil grin. "This is Fong turf and there be taxes you know. What treats have you got nicked? And you well past bedtime. Let me put you to bed, hehehe..." She growled at the thug and dashed in another direction and through a small hole in a fence with her pursuer close behind. He stopped at the hole and yelled, "YOU RETCHED GUTTER-SNIPE! I WILL KILL YOU WHEN I CATCH YOU!" The Blue Spirit dropped in behind him and slit his throat. Quickly cleaning the blade on the dead man's shirt. Then Zuko slipped into an unfamiliar section of town.

His mind and thoughts were still trying to catch up with him. He acted so fast. He didn't think of what he was doing. It was over in an instant. He didn't even stop to consider the consequences. He leaned against a wall as the sweat began to pour down his back and his breath heaved. His hands shook. He felt hot like he was in a stuffy room with no air. He edged carefully along the wall into a darker space. The hot feeling faded quickly into damp chills. He dropped impulsively to his knees fighting the inevitable humiliating event. He thought he was going to pass out. He pulled off his mask to try to get more air. He saw a speck of blood on his hand. His stomach instantly heaved. Heaved and heaved till there was nothing left in it. He sat back shaking. He could not believe what he had done. He had fought many fights... but never, never had he killed anyone. He could not stop his shaking. Everything was growing fuzzy in his vision. He closed his eyes against it. The fuzziness only made him dizzy and more nauseous.

Soft hands touched his brow. The scent was of a flower his mother loved. A gentle quiet humming like his mother did at bedtime to ease him to sleep surrounded him. A cloth wiped his face. This was a dream. He chose not to open his eyes. Water was brought to his lips. It had the hint of mint to it and eased the nausea. The sound of shuffling drew quieter. He opened his eyes half thinking he was once again a small child and his mother was nursing fever dreams from him.

But there was no one there. And there was no soft bed and warm colored tapestries. Just the cold dark cramped ally he had pulled himself into. He reached for his mask and put it on. Beside his mask was a small water gourd. He frowned. Bringing it to his nose he smelled it. Water with a hint of mint. His hands shook. Reality came rushing back. Someone knew who he was under the mask. Someone must know that he just killed someone. Quickly he got up and left the district.

He needed to talk to his uncle now, more than ever. _But... how... how will I explain this? How can I possibly justify the taking of a life?_ He deeply, deeply wished he could ask his mother what he ought to do. He hoped his uncle would not cast him out. _Though... now... he had ever right to._

_What have I done...what do I do now..._

He was scared. He wanted to be angry for letting a small child affect him so. He wanted to be proud of snuffing out that cruel man. He wanted to be furious for his silliness at vomiting like a green military recruit. He wanted to feel the fire in him burning for... something... but he could not even reach for the anger that fueled the fire within him.

He came home and his uncle was still not back. He stashed away the Blue Spirit thinking that he would NEVER draw it out again. Scrubbing his hands of the blood and washing the cold sweat from his body did not help him feel any better. He curled fetally on his bed mat... and waited... wishing the darkness would swallow him whole like the wall did the other day. He wanted to just... disappear.

It was near midnight when Iroh finally wandered in. He shuddered from the cool air and thought it would be a good idea to make some hot spicy tea and lay out extra blankets on the bed mats. As he set his Pai Sho set on a small table by the door and surveyed the house, it was not as he had expected, but thankfully not burnt to the ground. _Oh good, Zuko had eaten out instead of trying to cook food for himself. But what a mess!_ The table was pushed a foot or two to the left and a chair was knocked over. Towels were strewn on the floor and shoes were scattered recklessly. _Maybe Zuko did not have a good day?_

From Zuko's room Iroh could see that the door was not even fully closed. Maybe Zuko was ill. "Uncle?" Zuko's voice sounded small and lost almost pleading. It reminded Iroh of how Zuko was when his mother, Ursa, left. Again, Zuko called, "Uncle?" _Zuko must be ill for sure._

Iroh entered Zuko's room to find him curled on his bed mat, the room a complete disaster. Iroh made a mental note to remind Zuko to clean his room. Then he changed his mind. He remembered that Zuko was really quite meticulous and this was just the signs of a very very bad night. Perhaps Zuko had nightmares again. Iroh sat on the bed mat close to Zuko and placed a hand very gently on his nephew's shoulder, "I am here, nephew." Zuko rolled over and buried his face in his uncle's lap as he had when he lost his mother.

So many things crashed around in Zuko's mind and heart. So many terrible things he had seen and done; all the mistakes he made. He wondered who he was and what he was supposed to be doing in this life. Iroh seemed to see the turmoil clearly. He patted Zuko's shoulder comfortingly but kept silent. He felt Zuko needed to talk and would give him the time he needed to be ready to do so.

Zuko had his mother on his mind, especially after this evening. He wanted to ask his uncle about it. Where did she go? What did she do? Why did she leave? He wanted to ask about the White Lotus and why his uncle was part of it and what this secret organization was all about. He wanted to know if his uncle knew anything about the Silver Assassins. He wanted his uncle to make the evening's events go away as if they never happened.

Instead, Zuko asked in a small voice, "Uncle? Did you ever kill anyone?"

This was definitely NOT what Iroh expected Zuko to ask. A great many things must have been boiling up in his nephew. He wondered suddenly if in any of the moments he was not at his nephew's side, if he missed a moment, the moment that Zuko took his first life. In war and danger as they were living in, it would be inevitable. He had thought he had sheltered Zuko from that. Guess not. Sadly he replied, "Yes, nephew, I have. Sometimes we do terrible things because they are the right thing to do. Sometimes, we do terrible things because they are the only thing we can do. And sometimes... we do terrible things that we will regret and have haunt us for the rest of our lives."

Zuko sat up and wrapped his arms about his knees, pulling the blanket with him to keep warm. The days were muggy and humid, but the nights were damp and chill. He looked at his uncle, "Did it sicken you?"

Iroh smiled a sad smile. "Every time."

Zuko frowned. "But then that makes you weak. Only the green recruits are sickened. But they get over it."

Iroh wondered where this conversation was coming from. What spurred it? "You are no longer human if it doesn't." Apparently it was time to tell Zuko a story... a terrible one, one that haunts Iroh to this day. "Let me make some tea to warm us. I will tell you a story about the knife I gave you." He got up and went into the kitchen area to prepare tea.

Sensing that Zuko needed more comfort than warmth, he chose his tea carefully. A rich black tea strongly flavored with bergamot. I cut some bits of vanilla bean into it and dropped some of the Jasmine pearls and flowers in as well. A tea to warm the soul, ease the heart and calm the mind. When it was ready, he added a half spoon of honey and a touch of milk to each mug. This was going to be a long story, the tea needed to be in bigger cups than the small tea cups. He could subtly firebend them hot as needed. And then he returned. He set the mugs down and got some extra blankets. He wrapped one around Zuko and handed one mug steaming hot into his shaking hands. Zuko closed his eyes and allowed the heat to seep into him through his hands. He tried not to let his uncle see him inhale the soothing scent of the tea. Iroh, of course missed nothing. But he did not want to spoil the moment. He knew Zuko would love this tea. Ursa did. Whenever she was stressed, this was her favorite tea.

Iroh lit some candles around the room to warm it and give some light. Then he settled himself down on the end of Zuko's bed mat. He likewise wrapped a blanket around him and picked up his mug.

Zuko was never very fond of the long-winded tales his uncle told. However, he could no longer bare another moment alone with his own thoughts for company. Just not be alone, for however long he could manage it, he would listen to his uncle's story. He hoped it would go on all night, no matter how annoying or bad a story it was.

Iroh was amazed at Zuko's patience. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. These were both wonderful and extremely painful memories. Iroh hoped, like he did with all his stories, that Zuko would see the lessons in it. Though this story was going to be one of the first that was truly Iroh's own, one from his own true life experience. And so he began...

-----

_War is a bloody affair. Friends, comrades and enemies fall wounded and die. I was at the outer wall of Ba Sing Se. We were fighting for nearly 600 days. The wall was incredible and our most difficult foe. If the city is as magnificent as its wall, Ba Sing Se must be something to behold. I wondered much on this as we fought. It was difficult to hold back some of the lieutenants who, in their excitement, wanted to burn the city to the ground if we broke through the wall. But such beauty... I would not really ever want to see destroyed. Conquered honorably, yes! But never destroyed. However, on the battlefield, honor is hard to keep in mind. _

_One day we managed to exhaust the earthbenders and break through the wall. One of the great warriors came out to humble himself for the defeat. He was escorted to my tent. His name was Mu-Tan. He was a noble man. He explained that by morning the earthbenders from the inner wall would arrive and the wall would be as it was before we broke through. And our defeat would then be immanent. The small glimpse I had through the crack we made in that wall told me enough that if they mobilized a "full" force against us, we would be so horribly crushed. It would be slaughter. And me and my army would vanish from the history of the Fire Nation or go down as the army that was swallowed and spat out at the walls of Ba Sing Se. My lieutenants argued this bitterly. But they had not seen as many battles as I and were definitely a poorer judge of their enemy. They were still too high on their current victory, but I have seen such overconfidence be an armies undoing._

_I dismissed all my men from the tent. And me and this General Mu-Tan sat and had tea. He explained how he was tired of this fight and its futility. He offered his personal surrender if we would just leave. I pondered it. His personal surrender was worth a lot. But we both knew that the Earth Nation army was on its way and we would be defeated anyways. As much as he was surrendering himself to me, he was giving me an opportunity to remove my troops from certain death. We devised a plan. He gave me an exquisite dagger that his father had crafted for him. And he agreed to allow some of my troops, those that I chose with care, to go beyond the wall without harm for a look at the city before the army arrived. Then we would have some credible stories to tell. We would then leave this area with him as our prisoner. We could then amass a more equal force for a more honorable battle and return at a later time. We played a short game of Pai Sho and then I had him taken away. _

"You should really learn Pai Sho, Zuko. There are a great many ways to have a secret conversation. Pai Sho is but one."

_Anyways, the next morning, I sent a small team in with my son to explore the city's edge just beyond the wall. Some of my army were displeased with this truce and wondered why I was not just storming through the break in the wall. The restlessness was hard. But they were well trained and stayed their ground. My son returned and brought a doll for Azula. He was telling me of the wonders beyond the wall. It reminded me much of how our great cities were before the war, from stories I had heard. And I too was losing my taste for what we were doing. But I did not tell my men that. I summoned the high ranking officials and a messenger. I wrote several descriptive letters and sent them off. Mu-Tan had asked me to send the knife he gave me to someone who needed it, whose spirit I felt held the honor to carry it, a spirit that never gave up the fight. I had considered my son, but then, I remembered the challenges my nephew faced in learning firebending and felt he truly deserved it most. So off I sent it with a letter and the doll to you and your sister!_

_That was the true highlight of the battle at the walls of Ba Sing Se._

_What happened after that... was horrific. When I told my men we were going to pull back and regroup, I thought I was going to lose control of them. Some of them broke the truce and attacked against my orders. The betrayal and the fight made for one of the bloodier battles that lasted days. There were assassins taking out some of the key leaders in our army, like shadows slipping through the fight. It was a kill or be killed battle. The rain of the cold rainy season made everything dark and slippery. So many of our men were down. I had lost sight of my son. News however came that the prison guards were assassinated and the prisoners had escaped._

_Finally my men realized that I was right and that they should have pulled back. As they were starting to regroup, I was trying to join them. Three days of this terrible fighting and I still had no news of my son and his squad. In the night as we still fought, I turned to see a small figure dressed like one of the assassins running toward me. I struck him down before I saw the white cloth of a messenger around his arm. The world seemed to stop as his small body slowly fell to the ground. I killed a messenger boy._

_I dropped to my knees and gathered him up and my ... (Iroh took a deep breath) stomach clenched with the disgrace of what I had done. He was still alive to my amazement, but I knew the wound I gave him was mortal. (a tear trickled down Iroh's cheek) The boy was no older than you were at that time. The message was clutched in his hand. I apologized from the depths of me to him. I was humbled by his courage and compassion. He forgave me. He said, "You didn't see me... you didn't know... I was being an assassin to slip all the way to you to give you this message from my father. It is ok. I forgive you Master Iroh." I asked him who his father was and he told me it was Mu-Tan. I was shamed yet again for having struck down the son of the man I made a truce pact with. The boy soon died. I read the message while kneeling there in the mud with the boy on my lap._

_MASTER IROH, YOUR SON HAS BEEN MORTALLY WOUNDED. WE HAVE HIM IN OUR HOSPITAL JUST BEYOND THE WALL. COME QUICKLY. MY SON AND THIS MESSAGE WILL GARUNTEE YOUR FREE AND SAFE PASSAGE._

_I picked up the boy who was trying to be just like his father with all the skill and nobility of a noble shadow of the Earth Kingdom. They let me pass. I handed the body of the boy to his father with the most humble of apologies. There in the hospital, a nurse guided me away from Mu-Tan to my dying son. I was amazed at how well they cared for our wounded. She explained to me that beyond the wall there is no war and all wounded are treated equally. This would never be so in the Fire Nation. I sat with my beloved son till he passed on. (Iroh had to stop and swallow hard as the tears wet his face. He took a couple deep breaths and wiped them away.) _

-----

"So you see, sometimes we do terrible things because they are right to do. Sometimes because it is the only thing we can do. And sometime, we regret it for the rest of our lives. I willingly accepted defeat and retreated with my army to endure the shame back home. No war was worth this. No war was worth forgetting who you are and the honorable spirit you should be. Nothing was worth the lives of two sons." Iroh noticed the tea mugs were both empty and got up to put them away.

Zuko: "Did my mother do something terrible? Did my mother kill someone? Is that why she left?

Iroh stopped. He wondered how to answer this.

Zuko: "Why did she go? Is she alive or dead? Where is she?"

Iroh did not know how to answer those questions without breaking promises. He turned in silence to leave with the mugs as he thought.

Zuko: "UNCLE! WHAT DID SHE DO!?! ... What did she do?"

Iroh turned at the door. That was a question he could answer. "She loved you, Prince Zuko... As do I." And he left to put the mugs away.


	5. Chapter 5: Encounter

_**Chapter 5: Encounter**_

Zuko had slept easier the previous night. Iroh knew that the company, the story, the tea, and knowing Zuko was loved all played a factor in that. Zuko was very somber and quiet at work. That was not really different from any other day. Though, he scowled less even in private. He seemed constantly deep in thought. For two whole days this went on. Iroh almost wanted to shake Zuko and ask what he was thinking. But he knew that would not get Zuko to talk, Zuko needed time to think things through very thoroughly, to slowly digest them before they were firmly entrenched into his understanding. Iroh knew that Zuko was doing the difficult process of remaking his view of the world... and his place in that new worldview.

After work Zuko wandered the city. He started by visiting all the places he knew best, then the places he passed as they entered the city. He visited the places he discovered with Jinn. He sighed. She was never coming back. He wouldn't be able to explain all this complexity to her anyways. They were really too different.

He wandered and thought. _Who am I? Why am I here?_ He also thought how truly stupid this war of conquest really was. _It has lasted almost a century! How many lives were lost because of it? _He also realized as he watched the people around him that they had culture, traditions, arts. They were so creative. Over the century, the Fire Nation had lost that. Then he remembered the firebending glassmaker! He wandered over to see him. It was getting late and he felt too awkward to actually enter. He stood at the window and just watched, fascinated. _What else could firebenders do? What have firebenders forgotten over the century?_

He wanted to go check on Ty-Min, too. But he was not certain he could control himself. As the Blue Spirit, it was too easy to do something terrible without wholly thinking it through. He wondered what the repercussions were of that man's death. He also realized something else. Fong was not a single man ruining the lives of a little girl and her family. Fong was a gang of who knew how many people. If he took them down, what monster would rise in their place? Zuko felt he needed to learn more control and discipline. He didn't think he could learn it from his uncle. Not that he didn't love his uncle, not that he didn't think his uncle was a good teacher... just... it was a feeling.

As life settled back into routine, Zuko pondered what he wanted to do with his life. What would he do if he were never to be Prince of the Fire Nation, never to go back home, never be heir to the throne and kingdom, never to rule in his father's place once his father was gone? Then he snarled. Once his father was gone, Azula would marry and be on the throne ruling the Fire Nation. That would be the very WORST thing that could happen to his people. He could not allow that to happen, if for no other reason than for the life of his people. And technically, he felt his uncle should really be ruler. His father used the scapegoat of the retreat from Ba Sing Se to bring shame and repudiate his brother in order to gain access to the throne when Ozai died. They were bitter realizations, things he never considered as a child. But then, he was no longer a child. The world was no longer what he thought it was. Terrible things happened to good people because of terrible people in places of power. But, what could he do? He was just one man?

On the fourth day, he had an idea. It was an idea he did not think his uncle would approve of. But as his uncle said, sometimes you must do something terrible in order to do something right. Tomorrow, he would go in search of the Silver Assassins... and join them. Learn all he can. These skills might be able to help him right a wrong happening in the world one day. Then... maybe... firebenders can start doing other things than war... like the glassmaker.

Then it hit him! The glassmaker is a firebender IN AN EARTH NATION CITY!!!

Over the next few days he wandered, as himself, in the dense forbidden district during his off-work time. There too he just watched people. Here, they were poorer and richer. They sold things and fought over scraps of food. The wealthier only used this location for the illegal dealings. He wondered how Ba Sing Se's officials could allow this to go on in their beautiful city. But then, doesn't every big city have a place like this?

He thought about going into the job office and speaking to Bao-Li. But, he was not desperate and was not sure what he would end up doing. He didn't want to inadvertently become an indentured servant. Thinking, weren't all employees kind of like that? No... Employees were paid a daily wage for their work and were free to do as they pleased with that pay. Indentured servants worked because they owed something and gave up that freedom of spending their pay wherever until such time as their debt was paid off. It was a kind of slavery.

How was he going to find the Silver Assassins? How was he going to deal with Fong? Was it really his business? Yes. He made it his business when he gave a little girl hope. It was not unlike the Earth Nation boy from the town on the desert's edge. He had a responsibility now. His mother had told him that _if you are going to care for a people, you have to care about everything about those people. Care about not just that they ate that day, but that they had work, shelter, clothing. That they were safe and educated. This is especially important for a ruler, for without his people, he is not a ruler. They serve him, but he must remember that he also serves them._

He took a firm deep breath and walked into the Eastern Job Office. There was one in each quarter of the Lower Ring. He walked up to Bao-Li. "Hello Lee!" came the jovial greeting. "Have you come to peruse what jobs are available?"

Zuko: "No."

Bao-Li made a face that clearly asked why Zuko was there then. Zuko looked around to make sure no one else was in the office and approached Bao-Li speaking quietly. "I am seeking the Silver Assassins. I hear that this is their grounds. How can I meet one?"

Bao-Li's face was an unreadable mask. "Are you looking to hire or looking to join? Because you don't look like you can afford to hire one."

Zuko: "Join."

Bao-Li: "You know, such talk could get you taken away by the cultural officials or the police."

Zuko: "But you won't tell. In this district, this is how someone hires someone else or finds a job... the darker kinds."

Bao-Li considered this a moment. He wondered if this was the man Mu-Tan was talking about. The young man was but a boy. A boy only in age alone, though. He could see that this boy left boyhood many years ago. _With this war, haven't many of us?_

Zuko: "What can you tell me about Fong?"

Bao-Li: "What? You want to join them?"

Zuko: "No. They hurt someone I ... I care about."

"Well, someone dealt them an interesting blow last weak by killing one of them." Bao-Li watched Zuko's expression with this statement. "But no one knows who did it. They are a gang, one of three or four in this general area. They are currently blaming each other over the death. You plan on hunting them? Is that why you want to be a Silver Assassin?"

Zuko: "No. I have other reasons."

Bao-Li could see how serious Zuko was. "I can't help you. If a Silver Assassin wants an apprentice, he seeks them out. Not the other way around. Now, get out unless you want a real job."

Put off a bit, Zuko left. But he left with an interesting new bit of information. The guild of the Silver Assassins was not like other guilds where you can sign up for training and work. They take on apprentices and only by choice. He smiled to himself. He had yet another bit of information. Bao-Li knew about them. So, that would mean that his request to join would make its way to them and get their attention. It was a bold and dangerous step Zuko took, one he took without being the Blue Spirit.

He did not see Ty-min as he was in the area. He did have to occasionally fend off a thug or thief or pick-pocket. As he was dealing with young youth who tried to pickpocket him, he saw out of the corner of his eye, some wealthier man beat a lesser man with a riding crop in a side doorway of a building and shove him in the alley to bleed. Sometimes, Zuko wished he could be everywhere to stop such cruelties. He clenched his fists. He considered going over and beating some sense into the bully.

As he took his first few steps in that direction, a hand firmly grabbed his shoulder. Zuko looked over, gripping the hilt of his twin blades. The man that grabbed his shoulder was tall, lean, built and perhaps as old as his Uncle with very close cropped greying hair and dark green eyes. "I don't recommend trying to pull those out here, boy. You will bruise your elbow trying in these cramped areas. Zuko's eyes widened when he suddenly realized who he was facing. The man nodded, now sure of who he was facing. "That man that was beaten. You cannot be everywhere in the world. Not even the avatar can. That is just a fact of life. Besides," the man nodded over to the beaten man. "Someone is there to comfort him."

Zuko looked over. He was too stunned to be annoyed at being called a boy. He was not sure if his life was in danger or if this was his official greeting by the Silver Assassins. As he looked at the beaten man, a woman was kneeling there beside him. She had a cloak that barely covered her fiery red hair. She poured water from a water gourd onto a rag and dabbed at the man's wounds and helped him up and to a house a few doors over where the man's wife took him in. That woman! She turned and looked right at them. It WAS her!

Zuko felt like he fell down a hole and landed in another world. He was not sure whether he wanted to go over and thank her for saving him the other day, grab her to be sure she was safe from when he made that mistake on the shores those many years ago, or strangle her for all the frustration she put him through. The hold on his shoulder was firm.

"Boy, you have much to learn about patience and self-discipline. Go home. It is getting late and you should not be in this district. Your uncle, I am sure, would disapprove. It is dangerous out here."

Zuko looked at him incredulously. He felt he was more than capable of taking care of himself. And if it was so dangerous, what was SHE doing here?! But his uncle was expecting him to be home for a late meal. Iroh was off at another Pai Sho game but had said he would be finished early. How does this man know? Zuko nodded and left. Apparently this man knew a lot about him, more than the encounter on the roof. And so, he would find Zuko again if indeed Zuko had made an impression on him. Then again, maybe the man was blowing Zuko off for his foolishness with the comment about bruising his elbow. Gritting his teeth, Zuko wandered home. He hated the secrets. He hated how people knew things and he himself had no idea how they got this information. He hated that he always felt like the LAST person to find things out. Did his uncle know THAT girl was here? It began to rain before he got home. Getting soaked really did not improve his mood as he stormed into the house, dripping wet.

Iroh set out the late dinner while Zuko had a hot bath to take off the chill of the rain. "Zuko! You must dress better. Especially if you are going to be out and about."

Zuko replied very snappily, "It is way too disgustingly hot and muggy to wear anything extra. And I was not expecting to be out late. How was I supposed to know it was going to rain?!"

Iroh sighed. He has been warning Zuko of the coming rainy season in these parts. He wondered if Zuko was exercising selective hearing. Rolling his eyes, he called Zuko to dinner.

Zuko sat at the table still rubbing a small towel over his head to dry his hair. He was amazed sometimes at all the things his uncle knew how to do, like tea, bandaging, the theories of all the elemental forms of bending, and cooking. His uncle had picked up a new hobby, bonsai trees. His uncle was always doing something. Zuko frowned as he ate in his usual silence. What do I do? What do I know? I know war. I know strategy. I know firebending. I know fighting. I know how to kill. He almost choked on his food at his own last thought. His uncle patted him firmly on the back.

Zuko: "Uncle?"

Iroh: "Yes, nephew?"

Zuko: "I don't much like working in the tea shop."

Iroh: "Beggars can't be choosers, Zuko. And if not for that job, we would certainly be beggars."

Zuko: "I know, I know, uncle. I am just thinking that... well... I think I would like to work there just a little bit less. So I can see about maybe finding a job... that I like better."

Iroh: "Serving tea, Zuko, is very noble and honorable. It teaches you patience and self control, respect and courtesy. I was thinking of teaching a workshop at the tea shop that I would like you to come to. Tea Ceremony. Serving tea is an art, like painting, calligraphy, glassblowing, or carving. But I do understand. Sometimes, it is just not your calling. And I know that you need to find your own way and your own passions. Tea just happens to be mine. And OH HO! It can make girls smile! I think I found myself a girlfriend, too!"

Zuko thought about all his uncle was saying. Tea certainly was his passion. And... "A girlfriend?!" Zuko thought of the older fat woman his uncle shmoozed to get them their passes into Ba Sing Se and shuddered. The notion of his uncle with a girlfriend at HIS AGE?! Zuko shuddered again.

Iroh smirked and reveled at Zuko's discomfort. He hadn't really found a girlfriend, though their neighbor was a wonderful woman who also made great teas and played Pai Sho very well. Iroh just enjoyed shocking Zuko now and again and watching him squirm... even if it was at Iroh's own expense. One should not be so serious all the time. Fun and laugher, humor, were an important part of life and the balancing of the spirit. He longed to see Zuko one day laugh with genuine mirth. One day. For now, "All right, nephew. I will tell the owner. We have a few quiet days and the mornings are usually quiet enough for me to handle alone."

Zuko glanced at the windows. He got up and shut the shudders and curtains. He wondered if that assassin was spying on him. "Uncle? Have you ever..." He paused. No, he didn't want his uncle to even suspect that he might be looking to become an assassin.

Iroh: "Have I ever what, nephew?"

Zuko struggled to find another topic. "Have you ever not been good at something?"

Iroh: "Yes, firebending. Your father was like a prodigy that was a constant annoyance to me till I was in the army and far from him."

Zuko spat the tea he had sipped in shock. His uncle not good at firebending?!?!?! He could not believe that. "You lie, uncle."

Iroh: "It is true. I struggled with the bending for a long time. Your father seemed to excel into the more advanced moves while I stumbled over the easier ones. It wasn't till I found the right teacher who had patience to teach me and let me figure out the finer principals. I wanted to be able to do it all right away and on my own. Once I figured out the basics though, things were much easier."

Zuko mumbled how he still struggled with some things and that his uncle did not have as much difficulty as he did. Iroh with all sincerity agreed, but that meant that the lessons Zuko learned would never be forgotten, would be understood better than anyone. And that the very basics can be used more creatively and defeat an advanced opponent who becomes overconfident with their apparent advanced skills. Iroh felt that Zuko was exceptionally creative, had incredible ingenuity, probably better understanding of fire and firebending than anyone in the world, even if he could not master the most advanced techniques. In all that had gone on, Zuko had forgotten that small moment where he actually HAD made a small spark of white lightening.


	6. Chapter 6: Slaves

_**Chapter 6: Slaves (ehem… Indentured Servants)**_

A man and two women were at the avatar's residence serving them all dinner. This was among the times where Toph was in her worst mood. It wasn't that the food was bad. It isn't because the company was annoying, though Sokka and Aang joking and playing and nearly having food fights for the fun of it came pretty close to being part of her bad mood inducers and ranking with annoying company. It was...

"STOP! JUST STOP!" She yelled. Everyone looked at her. The man took in a nervous breath not really knowing whether Toph was yelling at Sokka and Aang or someone else.

She grabbed the man's metal-banded wrist and yelled at him. "I CAN SERVE MYSELF!" She suddenly pulled her hand away. All three servants had dropped to the floor on their knees with their brows touching the floor. Quietly and apologetically she told them to just get out. She was not angry at them and it was not their fault. They left quickly.

Katara: "What was that all about?"

"Ya," Sokka and Aang chorused together. 'What was that all about?"

Toph asked uncertainly, "Did they all have a metal band on their wrists?"

Aang was confused. He never saw people with metal bands before where the bands meant anything. "Ya, so?"

Katara remembered the conversation her and Toph had a little while ago. "They are indentured servants, aren't they?"

Annoyed all over again, Toph snapped, "Ya, if you want to be politically correct and call them that."

"You mean they are slaves?!?!" Sokka's eyes were wide with shock.

Toph: "Shut up Sokka! Your mouth has already gotten us in enough trouble. We are stuck here three whole more months because of YOU! I hate it here!! I hate being watched all the time. I HATE being chaperoned. I HATE being herded here or there because they feel we ought not to be involved in something. I HATE that I we have to be careful about what we say and who we talk to. I HATE IT!!!" The tiles in the house rippled with her anger.

Katara: "Maybe we should go do something relaxing... like... visit that popular tea house in the lower ring that everyone even in this area keep bragging about."

-----

An older woman instructed a man with many bruises on his arms to dress in the clean clothes set out for him. He was being sent on an errand to the Lower Ring. The doctor standing with her was adamant about the man in the Tea Shop. He was also exasperated by the woman's sick husband. He hated how these wealthy snobbish people would not listen to what was absolutely necessary for their health. He hoped his daughter, Hwa Lan would be more patient than he once she completed her training in medicine at the university. Well, he had been to the Tea Shop in the Lower Ring himself and was more than impressed with the Tea Master there.

The woman gave the bruised man a small pouch of gold and bade him to return before the night was out or she would have him taken away and dealt with. The bruised man cringed at the thought. His sister and sister's child had already vanished for angering this household. He hurried out and followed the directions the doctor had given him.

He stared at the branded metal bands on his wrists while riding the train into the Lower Ring. He hated the treatment he got. He hated the people he worked for. But what could he do? This was the price for failing to pay a family debt. Indentured service for life... for three generations. He wondered if there would be another generation of his family after him. He hoped the old man in the Tea Shop could help with the medicine needed. The master of the house was very ill and fussy. The master refused to take any pills or treatments. However, he loved tea. So this was the best the doctor could come up with.

The man also wondered what the next generation would do, if he survived and actually had children, that is. The beatings were hard. He was afraid to like a woman and thus drag her into such an experience. His sister had been with child since she had an affair with the master's son. That was a bit scandalous. The train ride was long. He wondered what he would do if he were not bound in service. _Have I forgotten who I am?_ He wondered over and over till his mind was numb and his stop came up.

-----

At the Tea Shop, Zuko was serving in the late afternoon. He had learned to speak with a soft pleasantness, to say thank you for each payment, and even to smile. He was always amazed when someone left extra money for him. His uncle called it a tip, an extra token of appreciation for his service to the customer. Appreciation. That was a new experience for Zuko. To be appreciated, and for something so small and insignificant as serving someone tea that they had to pay for.

Zuko saw a great many different people in the Tea Shop. The variety of clientele was growing as were the numbers. The shop began to shift its hours to accommodate the new clientele from the upper rings. Zuko worked the hot and humid daytime hours serving chilled tea. The most popular was a mint green tea. He had to go downstairs frequently now to check on the ice in the cold stone cellar. Once a week, a waterbender would come by and freeze water for them for a fee. Zuko had to chip and shave it for the teas during the day. He didn't mind the heat of the day, but the damp muggy unbreathable air bothered him.

He wondered once who would replace him for the evening as his uncle stayed on for the full day. He was surprised that it was their neighbor, the old woman next door. Her last daughter had finally moved out and remarried, taking the three small children with her. That meant the old woman no longer really had anything to do. And since she loved tea as much as his uncle... Zuko shuddered suddenly. He was beginning to imagine his uncle shmoozing the neighbor. _ACK!_

Zuko was cleaning a table as a man came into the Tea Shop looking like he was lost. He approached the man, "Can I help you?" The man nearly leapt out of his skin. Zuko didn't like to see a man behaving so cowardly. It was annoying. "For gods sake, I don't bite. Here, it down and I will bring you a cup of tea." He tried to ease the man's nervousness. The man bowed and bowed to him, the low bow with averted eyes that a slave would give to a master. Zuko gave up and walked away. "Uncle, there is a man there that needs you. This one I just... well, you need to serve him." Zuko couldn't figure out how to serve this man without saying something rude. So he felt it safer to pass the task over.

Iroh went over to the humbled man. "Can I get you anything," he said with a warm and friendly smile.

The man looked up briefly then away again. "I am looking for Mushi, the Tea Master. Am I in the right Tea Shop?"

Iroh laughed a big hearty laugh. "I like the sound of that! Hehe. Tea Master. I am Mushi. But I think I still have lots to learn before I would call myself a Tea Master."

The man was so uncertain how to react to this jovial person before him. "I… I… I was sent here with this. Can you make this tea? I need to bring it back for someone who is very ill."

Iroh took the slip of paper and studied it a moment. Then went off into the back and started to prepare a mixture of herbs and powdered honey and fruits. When he returned the man stretched his hand out with the pouch of gold to Iroh. Iroh took the pouch and handed the man the medicine. The man then quickly left. As Iroh walked into the back of the shop counting the money, he realized the amount was in gold and was way too much. "Zuko! Zuko! Here, take this out to the man. Tell him to ... tell him that I gift him with this and tell him that he should have a snow cone before he returns home so he too doesn't fall ill."

Confused, Zuko did as his uncle asked. He rushed out of the shop looking for the man. The man was not hard to find. He clearly looked like he had never been out of doors for a long time. Zuko dashed up to him catching the man by the wrist. The man dropped to his knees in apology, begging not to be hit, that he had not done anything. Zuko was stunned. He dumbly let go of the man metal-clad wrist. "Um... I... Uhhh... Here! My uncle says to get a snow cone so you don't die of heat on your way home." He shoved the coin into the man's hand and took a step or two away from the man to show he had no intention of harming him.

The man looked up startled. He then looked at the coin in his hand and then at the people that stopped to look. The people in the area did not look long. This was normal for most of them. They averted their eyes politely and continued their own business. The man got up and bowed low to Zuko thanking him and his uncle.

When Zuko returned from the errand, he cornered his uncle during a quiet moment. He explained what happened and the strange metal bands on the man's wrists. "What was that?! Who was that?!? He behaved like an actual slave!"

Iroh gave his nephew a sad and mild look. "They do exist, nephew. In the very big and prosperous or powerful cities, like home and like here especially. Just, here they are called Indentured Servants."

Zuko's eyes darkened and his voice went low. "But they aren't are they. They are slaves and will never really be free, right?"

Iroh nodded. Zuko was disgusted. He was glad it was the end of his shift. This made him all angry inside. He felt he was no longer able to be remotely polite to another customer.


	7. Chapter 7: Life Lessons

_**Chapter 7: Life Lessons**_

In his usual foul mood, Zuko stormed off into the cooling slightly rainy evening. This time he remembered to stop off at home and get a cloak. Home. Had he really called it that to himself? He was amazed people did not just fold up and hibernate when the weather got chilly and wet. Everyone was out as though there was no change. He figured it was because they were used to it.

He wandered back to the Craftsmen's District and watched various people make their wares. He wandered and daydreamed, reminiscing of his actual home in the Fire Islands. He was trying to remember the sights, the markets, the restaurants, trying to remember the skilled crafts, but it was all hazy. It was all so long ago. He did distinctly remember that there **were** no crafts for the sake of crafting. No painting, no art, not even music.

He saw a cloaked woman looking at some papers and inks and brushes. She tucked a loose strand of fiery red hair behind her ear under her cloak's hood. She knelt down a bit as she gazed at the tools. A man from farther in the shop shouted out some prices at her. She looked up and then shook her head at him. He turned his attention to his apprentice whom he was teaching to make a two-inch flat cloud inking brush. She hesitantly reached out to touch the brushes and stopped before actually touching them. Her hand strayed over the inks of all colors and caressed the various papers. Zuko could see she wanted them. She almost ached in her heart for them. So why didn't she just buy them?

He was about to approach her. He had a great many questions for her and a great many things to yell at her for. But a large man that looked almost like a sumo wrestler took her arm and drew her away with a quiet reprimand. She pulled away from him and he snatched her arm again and hauled her off. Zuko may have nasty words for her, but that was still no way to handle her. His hands clenched and he followed them. All he had on him was the dagger his uncle gave him. The man was big and strong looking, perhaps a bit more than Zuko was prepared to deal with. He decided that if he had to, he would use the dagger on that man. As they rounded a corned in the forbidden district, they got into a small cart and were off. _Was it her, really her, from... why here? Who was she with? If she didn't want to go with him, then why did she? If it was her, she had a sharp enough tongue and spirit to not let anyone do to her what she did not want done. _This was going to be difficult to follow.

He considered climbing the roof top of the nearest building and taking that route which was faster for him and he might be able to keep up with the cart. He climbed the next building as the clouds opened up and the rain crashed down with a flash of light and thunder claps so loud Zuko had to cover his ears and guard his balance.

When the first wave of blinding flashes was over, that shadow of a man was standing in front of him. Zuko cursed under his breath. _Not now._ He was busy following someone. He took a deep breath and used it to heat himself with a little bending to raise his body temperature against the chill and rain. "What now?" he asked with annoyance clear in his throat.

Mu-Tan regarded this brash youth before him mildly. "You had requested to be my apprentice. I was initially impressed with you the first time we met. But after watching you for the last little while... I am less so impressed."

Zuko lost his temper at that. How dare the man insult him! How DARE the man spy on him!! As skilled as Zuko was, this man proved to be his better in martial arts. As Zuko swung and kicked, Mu-Tan dodged or absorbed. As this went on for about half an hour and Zuko was fast losing his patience, he drew the knife. It was his last mistake with Mu-Tan. Zuko was pinned to the roof in a few quick moves with this shadow of an assassin atop him and his face pushed into the roof tiles. The stone of the tiles wrapped around his wrists and ankles and the man backed off inspecting the knife he snatched from Zuko's helplessly pinned hand. Zuko felt humiliated to have been so easily defeated. _Where did this man learn those strange moves? How did he get to be so fast? How dare he use bending! _Zuko hadn't used bending. He felt cheated. The man set the knife down in front of Zuko.

"We will talk later," and with that Mu-Tan leapt gracefully off the roof.

Zuko struggled and snarled and screamed into the loud thunder. He was trapped there for almost an hour as the storm beat down on him. Exhausted from struggling and screaming in a storm when no one could hear him, he laid his forehead in the tiles and wept silently. And when he was exhausted from that and thought he could not hate this man any further, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see that man carefully release the stone binds. "You must first learn patience and control before you can learn anything else. Discipline. I am amazed that you are as good a firebender as you are and you have still not mastered those. There must be a great deal of anger and hurt within you." His voice was so kind and gentle and fatherly. Zuko was too exhausted to be angry at the moment. "Go home prince. Your uncle is worried about you." And he vanished in the ever changing shadows that a storm creates.

Iroh was standing in the doorway of their small home with towels and a tub filled with steaming hot water that he kept firebending hot. He tried to see through the rain, but you could hardly see across the dirt street. Zuko finally dragged himself in like a soaking wet cat-bird. He didn't even notice his uncle wrapping towels around him and closing the door. He barely noticed his uncle strip his shivering body down and dump him into the hot tub. If he were more aware, he would have been embarrassed beyond comprehension. Iroh was worried beyond comprehension. He didn't care what Zuko might say. The fact that Zuko said nothing worried him more. Concerned Zuko might get hyperthermia; he ensured the hot bath and warm dry towels and clothes.

As Zuko numbly dried off and dressed, Iroh prepared a spicy tea with a shot of some alcohol he got from the neighbor. Zuko drank it down in a couple gulps as instructed. It was like drinking liquid fire. It warmed Zuko from the belly out and made his head swim a little. As he collapsed in bed, he mumbled, "Thank you, uncle." Iroh smiled and made sure Zuko was tucked in before he himself went to bed.

A letter the next day addressed to "THE NEPHEW". Zuko snatched it and went off to read it in private.

_**If you have not died of hyperthermia, meet me on the roof after work. I won't try to kill you this time.**_

Zuko thought that maybe he might try to kill that Silver Assassin, but he already knew he was outmatched. Why hadn't the Earth Kingdom asked this guy to kill off the Firelord?! If he were the Earth King, Zuko would definitely pay this man HANDSOMELY to kill off the leader of his enemies.

Iroh was pleased that Zuko might actually have friends! He first chastised Zuko for being ill-prepared for the weather. Zuko tried to protest in vain. Iroh handed Zuko an oiled cloak and took for himself the lighter cloak Zuko used last night. Iroh also handed the protesting Zuko a sweater. The rain was but a drizzle at the moment, but another storm was threatening.

All day at work Zuko wondered what he should expect on that roof. Did it mean he was accepted as an apprentice? He felt shamed yesterday. He knew he was horrible at control and patience, but self-discipline? That he was adept at. Well, except when he lost control or patience. Zuko groaned to himself. He hung his head for a moment. Iroh tapped Zuko's chin to make him lift his head and smiled broadly at him as if the day were a beautiful sunny summer day. _My uncle is the weirdest person I know,_ he thought to himself. Finally his shift ended and he ripped off the apron, pulled on the sweater and cloak and ran off without saying a word to his uncle. Iroh just shook his head. _Teenagers, these days..._ It was good to see Zuko behaving his age, even if that meant watching him do reckless teenager-like things.

He met Mu-Tan on the roof as instructed. Mu-Tan led him down to the street and into an alley and through a door to a warm room. It was walled with reflective glass. Zuko looked in awe at the room. The reflective glass alone was expensive, just a small one for a bedroom or for shaving with cost hard coin. But all four walls fully reflective glass? That is like a king's ransom!! And the tatami mats were the finest quality. For a building on the edge of the Craftsmen's District and the forbidden district, this was like stepping into the training dojo at the palace back home in the Fire Nation. "Take you shoes off and show respect."

Zuko did so. There was a small area for shoes and cloaks. There was a small nonspecific shrine there as well. Beside it was an ancestral shrine with a drawing, a candle and incense. The drawing was of a young boy of maybe 10 years of age at best. Zuko wondered who the boy was and what happened to him.

Zuko stepped up to the mat and bowed respectfully to the center of the dojo, then to the shrine, and lastly to his teacher. Well, he hoped this meant he had a teacher. Mu-Tan nodded a short bow in return and indicated for Zuko to come to the center of the mats. There they kneeled facing each other.

Mu-Tan: "First, before I can accept you as my apprentice, I must know some things about you."

Zuko snapped back, "Why bother asking?! You have spied on me for who knows how lo..." he never finished his rude speech as he was struck so suddenly and unexpectedly. He lay flat on his back on the mats.

Mu-Tan: "You will show respect or you will leave and I will accept the death mark that is on your head with its fine price."

Gritting his teeth, but determined to learn, Zuko got back into position. He ignored the sting on his face. He wasn't even struck with a fist, but slapped like a child.

Mu-Tan: "How many languages can you read and speak?"

Zuko blinked. What did that have to do with assassin work? "Only the one I speak, why?"

Mu-Tan: "Can you mend wounds?"

Zuko: "Yes, as leader of my own army and navy, I had to learn that. It is important to be able to save the lives of the men who depend on you and whom you depend upon."

Mu-Tan was pleased with this response and nodded respectfully to Zuko. Zuko felt a little glow inside him. He wished his father approved of him, even this little bit. Mu-Tan continued his questions. "Can you cook simple and complex meals?"

Zuko: "What? No. I mean, yes."

Mu-Tan: "Well, which is it?"

Zuko: "I can cook meals from what I find or what is available for survival."

Mu-Tan: "Humans should not simply survive, they must be able to LIVE. What martial arts skills and styles have you learned?"

Zuko: "Just the ones for firebending. Why would I learn the others? And besides, it isn't like I had available teachers. What is the point? It isn't like I can earthbend or waterbend or airbend."

Mu-Tan: "I can defeat you without bending and have several times. And my moves are not just earthbending styles. Just because you cannot bend the other elements, does not mean that their martial arts styles have no significance or use to you. On the contrary, the best warriors learn all the styles and master them. You opponent and enemies will assume you know only one style, the style of the nation you are from. And THAT will be their undoing.

You know Northern Shaolin. It is an external style based on extending the body, and long, aggressive techniques that explode and drive through the opponent. It is the Fire Nation's martial art of choice. Northern Shaolin. This style teaches the five elements of movement; Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. Each element describes a different way of attacking or defending. These elements can also apply to other martial arts. Shaolin is said to be the origin of most fighting styles. Northern Shaolin fits the art of firebending because, like fire, it is aggressive, expanding, and extravagant. But you need to know more than just that to match me."

**_(this information in the above paragraph comes from teachers never described it like that." Zuko was already captivated. Yes, this teacher he can learn from. He was sure of it. He would do ANYTHING to be able to learn from him._**

Mu-Tan: "What other skills have you learned, other than war and firebending? Do you have any trade skills? Any hobbies?"

Zuko: "No. War and firebending were all I had time for."

Mu-Tan: "Then... come back to me when you have learned another language, can cook a fine elaborate meal without help, and can prove skill in a craft or hobby."

Zuko's jaw dropped. Mu-Tan stood and bowed respectfully to Zuko. "I cannot teach you until I know you can LIVE, not just survive. You are dismissed from my dojo until then." Zuko stood still stunned. He bowed respectfully and gathered his things. His mind was a swirl of the admiration he had and the mixed anger and the exasperation at the stupid demands now upon him. _What in all the nine hells did any of this have to do with joining the assassin's guild?!_ Confused and frustrated he left and raced home through the rain.

He entered and slammed the front door startling Iroh. Zuko tossed his cloak and sweater randomly on the floor, kicked off his wet boots with equal randomness.

Iroh: "How was your night out with your friend?"

Zuko stormed into his room and slammed his door shut. "He is NOT my friend! Don't talk to me!!"

Iroh raised his eyebrows. Then he smiled and shook his head. How many times did he himself say he hated his new friends only to be friends with them the next day? Zuko will likely do the same.

Zuko slept badly. Maybe it was the rainstorm that hit again. Maybe it was the memories that haunted him.

** Zuko's dream **

_Pacing back and forth in the captain room overlooking the deck, Zuko growled to himself about having to do this escort duty which was taking away from his hunting for the avatar. But his uncle asked it as a favor with so much sincerity he felt he could not say no. Now he had three adults with no fighting skills what so ever, unless they could pray you to death, and seventeen children ranging from the littlest at four years old to the eldest at maybe ten. Not to mention, they were all odd looking people with hair that was straw yellow or fiery red._

_A series of shrieks split the air from the kids room below. Zuko tensed. Oh gods, did one get hurt on his ship? Did one of his men do something unseemly and dishonorable? He bolted down the stairs to the kids' room. He was cut off by two tattooed women, the priestesses, and a tattooed man. These three were handling everyone as best they could, but the younger of the women seemed to be the most on top of things. She was the one who stopped at the door and told Zuko it was under control and he need not feel bothered any more than he already was by their presence. As if he did not know how to handle this if he had to... it made him angry at her. _

_She directed the other adults to tend and settle the kids down and she sat with the shrieking four-year-old. Zuko stood in the door watching. She gathered the child into her arms and as she hummed and soothed the girl, her tattoos glowed the color of golden honey in a glass jar held up to the sun. The child quieted and eased back to sleep. The other adults filed out of the room past him once everyone was settled again. This girl left last, only once every child was soundly asleep. She hummed all the while. This humming held Zuko entranced. It was what his mother always hummed to him when he was having trouble sleeping. She faced him with her lightly freckled face and fiery hair in a loose long braid. "You can go now Prince Zuko. No one has crossed you or done harm to your ship." Why did she always have the knack to insult him without really insulting him? It infuriated him. He was about to retort when she gently placed the tips of her fingers on his lips and pointed to the sleeping children. "If you wish to vent, you may do so on deck in an hour." And she walked past him to check on the adults. Did he not have any control on his own ship with her? He stormed off to vent on his own in his own room._

_Many hours later he went out to the captain's room and looked down at the deck. The moonlight illuminated it fully. The sky was a brilliant display of stars and full moon. Alone on his deck was that young woman, that girl. Does she not sleep?!? He stomped out to give her a piece of his mind and tell her to go to sleep. As he marched across his deck he saw her bury her face in her arms that were crossed over the rail of the ship's bow. He stopped. She looked exhausted, stressed. Was she crying? Did one of his men touch her? He walked up to make sure, standing beside her. She stood tall again as if she had all the strength in the world. It impressed him. She really did work as hard as he did and she was in constant worry that they would be attacked and killed. One of the children they took on died on the first day from his injuries of the last attack before they boarded his ship. "It is ok to not always be strong. You are a woman. You are allowed to lean on someone now and then."_

_"You don't understand", she said softly. "It's complicated. I have to be strong. And I already am leaning on someone. But he doesn't see it and I often think he hates that I am doing so so much. I wonder if he is the man I thought he was. Maybe he isn't. He has become so hard and cold and hurtful. He is so absorbed like his father that he doesn't seem to care about anyone around him."_

_"I am going to find out who this dishonorable man is and give him a piece of my mind!" And off Zuko marched._

_The girl whispered as he left, "You do that..."_

_Zuko stopped by the children's room and looked in on them. The little girl with the bright green eyes and fiery red hair that had shrieked before was awake and frightened again. It was so dark in the room. She jumped at every sound. He walked into the room and sat on the edge of her bed. Using firebending, he lit the wick in the oil lamp on the wall by the child's bed. Her tiny voice could melt the coldest heart and he thought that one day this child would grow to be so beautiful that she will never lack for a man who would want to be her husband. She asked in that tiny voice, "Will you keep us safe? No more mean Azula? You will protect us, right?" He nodded reassuringly to her. "Promise?" He promised. As he went to get up, the child grabbed his hand in both of hers. "Don't go... pleeeeease?" He sat back on the bed till she fell asleep again, holding her small hands. How fragile she was. Azula, eh? Figures. She was cruel to all beings including animals and children. He silently promised again that he would see them to safety. For Faelin, the young priestess watching over them all and for this little girl whose name he didn't know._

_Every time they talked after that for the next 4 days it was a mix of irritation and gentleness. Half the time he liked her and even (though he would never admit it to anyone) admired her. And half the time he wanted to throw her overboard. Finally he got fed up. There was a shore bay where they could camp. It was a short distance from an Earth Nation village that could shelter them and get them to the temple in Ba Sing Se._

_There he left them on the shore as he took his ship out of the bay. He and Faelin yelled back and forth at each other as the distance grew between them. Why did she manage to touch the things that were so deep and personal to him? Why did she make him lose such control. Humiliated he locked himself in his room for the day._

_The next day there was yelling on the ship and people rushing around. He looked across the water to where the men pointed. Billows of smoke rose from the shore where he had left the temple folk and children. Blasts of firebending lit the sky. Someone was attacking the shore camp. Oh gods!! He yelled for them to turn the ship around. He shouted orders to speed the ship and maneuver to be ready to attack if need be. They was so far away. Would they make it in time? _

_In the end, they hadn't. Some people were missing. Many dead. Many wounded. The camp was caught in the crossfire between a fight with Fire and Earth Nations. He ran frantically to try to identify everyone. Faelin was just gone, as were four other children. Everyone else was dead... or dying._

_** End Dream Sequence **_

Zuko woke with a yell! Moments later, Iroh opened Zuko's door and brought in that wonderfully soothing tea.

-----

Zuko seemed distracted all day. Iroh finally approached him after work. "Zuko, is everything alright? I know the nightmares are back. Please, can I help?"

Zuko sighed trying to think of what to say, where to begin, and what to hold back. "Uncle, I ... want to learn how to cook a nice meal, a formal kind." That was safe, if humiliating to say.

Iroh nearly skipped with joy. "Nephew! Is the friend you have been seeing a LADY friend? You want to impress her with a meal?"

Zuko lied, "Yes... kinda. We have..." He thought of the cloaked woman and how he was fairly certain but not quite sure if she were Faelin. "We have been crossing paths lately." This was a convenient half-lie. Learning to make a nice dinner was definitely not for HER benefit. Especially since she ran away and left those kids to die. They depended on her way more than they depended on him to keep them safe. And like a coward, she ran away. No, he was not learning to make dinner for her. It was an assassin's assignment, not that he could figure out why he had to learn it. He hoped that would become clear. It didn't matter, as long as he learned to do it passably.

Iroh beamed. Instead of going to their door, he steered Zuko to the neighbor's door. ManYee opened the door and smiled gently at them both. Iroh cheerily stated, "My nephew wants to learn how to cook a meal to impress a lady friend!" Zuko blushed horribly. His uncle was SO embarrassing!!! Zuko wished the floor would swallow him. "ManYee, would you teach my nephew?"

Zuko's head snapped up. ManYee leaned towards Zuko and lifted her slightly wrinkled face up to his and said, "First, young man, you must breathe." Then she cackled with laughter and invited them in the house. Zuko stopped holding his breath. _Damn it_. He was hoping to hold it long enough for him to die. _Oh well._

The next few days he was there for late dinner to met Iroh and Man-Yee after their shifts at the Tea Shop. Sometimes ManYee's daughter, new husband and three children were there too. He felt especially nervous then. He learned how to chop vegetables in various ways and marveled at ManYee's speed and accuracy. He thought she could probably kill someone with a small knife before they even blinked. He learned to fry meats with spices and prepare sauces. He learned to steam rice (after burning it many many many times). He learned to stir fry the various ingredients. He learned to make crispy noodles between two hot frying pans. He also learned that he kind of enjoyed this cooking thing. It was all doing and no memorizing. Recipes were all written down for him to follow. He was good at doing and not so good at remembering.

Iroh smiled at the concentrated and almost at peace look on Zuko's face as he cooked with ManYee. She was a bit nutty like Iroh, but she was definitely easy to get along with and work with. Zuko even started trying things on his own for lunch when his uncle was not around to see.

One night Iroh asked Zuko, "So, when are you bringing her by? What is her name? What does she look like?"

Feeling caught in a trap, Zuko struggled and fumbled with a reply. He thought of Faelin again. He had not seen her in a bit... but still. He could think it was her till he could catch up with her and make sure. "Shinzui. Her name is Shinzui" It was the name he had teased her with once on his deck. It meant spirit and mystery. Sometimes she was that, a mysterious bold free spirit he could not understand. He should have nicknamed her Tatakai for struggle and conflict... or Konmei for confusion... all the things she stirred in him. Bottom line... she was a mystery and now she was gone, or was she?

Finally his uncle invited ManYee over for a dinner that Zuko would cook on his own. If Zuko was not going to get around to cooking for his girlfriend, then he felt it would be good for Zuko's moral to at least cook for the woman who taught him, as a thank you. Zuko agreed grudgingly. He also hoped that the Silver Assassin was spying now. He would show him now that he had completed one of the three tasks.

ManYee arrived as the rain started. In her arms was her youngest granddaughter, Amai, who was only 5 months old. Zuko looked confused at the tiny baby's presence. "My daughter is feeling ill. I think she might be expecting another child with her new husband. So I am taking care of Amai for a few days. Do not mind her, I will attend to her. She is a very good and quiet child." The baby cooed in ManYee's arms. Zuko could not take his eyes of the baby. It was so small. Iroh patted Zuko's shoulder then started setting the table and making tea.

Zuko prepared the meal from start to finish. Iroh caught Zuko smiling as he prepared stuff when he thought no one was looking. The baby was gurgling and playing with a wooden ring that rattled with four wood beads on it. Zuko tried not to keep looking over. The baby was sitting in a basket on one of the chairs. Zuko was constantly worried the child would shift and the basket fall. He kept mentally calculating the distance and the speed he would need to have to catch it if it fell. Iroh and ManYee chatted about all kinds of things, especially teas. Neither were remotely worried about the baby falling.

When the meal was done, ManYee picked up the baby and changed her deftly on her lap. She then complimented Zuko on an excellent meal. He could not help smiling. Appreciation seemed to draw out that small smile. "Since you cooked for me, I will clean up."

The baby was deposited into Zuko's arms before he could protest to old ManYee cleaning up after dinner. He just froze. He was afraid to move. What if he were holding her wrong? What if he moved and hurt her by accident? She was so small, so fragile, so squishy. Iroh almost broke out into laughter at Zuko's expression. "Relax, nephew." And he corrected how Zuko was holding the baby. Zuko slowly... s..l..o..w..l..y... walked to the big comfy chair. He figured if he were sitting, there was less risk of dropping the baby. Iroh helped ease Zuko into the chair and getting the child cradled in Zuko's arms.

"Uncle, why don't you take her? You seem to know how to hold her! And where did you learn it?" Zuko was trying to escape his predicament desperately, but not too desperately. Amai was... cute… as she looked up at Zuko, staring into his eyes and following Zuko's face with her eyes. When he glanced down at her, she smiled a huge toothless baby grin.

"Why should I? You are doing just fine! And I learned it taking care of my son. His mother died giving birth to him. I was all he had." And with that, Iroh helped ManYee clean things up... abandoning Zuko there in the chair with the baby.

While they were busy cleaning and no longer paying any attention to Zuko, he hesitantly and carefully freed one of his arms and held the baby in the crook of the other and on his lap for support. With his free hand he held it in front of the baby's face. He was amazed that she could focus on it. Even reach right up and grab his fingers giggling. He smirked and he played this with her for a bit. Then he lightly blew in her face and she blinked startled. For a second he thought she would cry. Then she squealed and giggled. He did it again and again she squealed and giggled. Then she started sucking on her fist. She began to get fussy. She would suck her fist a moment then make upset noises. Zuko quickly protested, "I didn't do anything to her! What is wrong? Here, here... take her!"

ManYee laughed as she drew a milk bladder from the basket and fitted a suckling nipple on the end of it. Then she started a pot of water to warm it. When the milk was warm to her satisfaction, she brought it over and handed it to Zuko. "What do I DO with THIS?!"

ManYee laughed again. "Let her suck on it, silly."

Iroh set up a Pai Sho game on the table. "We will play a short game while you feed Amai."

Zuko was aghast at his demise. He was stuck now with the winging baby and a warm bladder of milk. And now he was being completely ignored while his Uncle and their neighbor busied themselves with Pai Sho. When Zuko put the nipple awkwardly into the baby's mouth, he was surprised that the baby knew exactly what to do. Amai grabbed the bladder with her tiny hands and suckled happily. All Zuko had to do was hold the bladder for her since her tiny hands could not hold it for herself. And as Amai suckled, Zuko relaxed and watched her.

Amai was almost asleep with the bladder nipple still being half-heartedly suckled. ManYee glanced over and got up. She moved Amai into a position against Zuko's shoulder with a small towel over the shoulder and showed Zuko how to burp her. He stood and walked with her around the room, occasionally rubbing or lightly patting her back. She burped a few times and he froze at the last one. ManYee snickered and got up to remove the towel from Zuko's shoulder. "Did she just throw up on me? Did I hurt her? Is that why?"

ManYee smiled at Zuko. "So inquisitive, aren't you. Spitting up is very normal for babies. That is why I put the towel there to begin with."

Zuko made a face at her that he was not really interested at all. He walked back to the chair with Amai still against his chest. He sat and watched the game from the chair. ManYee and Iroh never spoke while they played. Yet, they smiled or laughed and made faces as though they were talking.

"_You should really learn Pai Sho, Zuko. There are a great many ways to have a secret conversation. Pai Sho is but one."_

Zuko's eyes widened a moment as he remembered. He smiled to himself as he just figured out the new language he was going to learn. His uncle would never suspect. His uncle will only be all too thrilled to teach him.

The baby yawned and Zuko unconsciously rubbed her back gently. Then he too started to yawn. The game was not going to be short, he mentally groaned to himself. He closed his eyes, telling himself it would be for just a moment.

ManYee smiled and nodded in Zuko's direction for Iroh to look. There in the chair was Zuko cuddling Amai against his chest, both fast asleep and looking so completely content. One day, Iroh thought, even if Zuko does not think it will be, Zuko will be a great father... far better than Ozai ever was. Iroh could not be more proud of his nephew than in this very moment. It brought tears to Iroh's eyes. He quickly wiped them and finished the game.

Zuko woke with a little start as he felt the baby being removed from his arms. For a second he thought he was dropping her, and then saw that the game was finished and packed away, the kitchen cleaned and ManYee was ready to go. He released the baby; almost reluctantly back to ManYee.

When she left, Zuko stopped at his bedroom door. "Uncle, did you plan this?"

Iroh smiled and lied smoothly enough that Zuko never suspected. "No nephew. I had asked her to this night the very first day you started to learn to cook."

Zuko frowned and went to bed. He could still feel the warmth of where Amai was curled on his chest. He slept so easily that night with no nightmares.

The next morning, Zuko was awake and dressed long before his uncle. AND, he made breakfast. He charred the eggs on his first try. Grumbling to himself and determined to figure it out, he scrubbed the frying pan clean and started again. Iroh was up by round three of Zuko and the eggs. So far, Zuko zero, charred eggs three. Zuko sighed in frustration. Iroh bathed slowly and dressed slowly, letting Zuko work it out on his own. Finally Zuko won out over the eggs in round four.

"Why the treat nephew?"

Zuko took a deep breath. "Uncle, will you teach me the secret language of Pai Sho?"

"Are you serious, nephew?" Zuko nodded. Iroh was liking this calmer Zuko more. Maybe Zuko was discovering his place and finding inner balance. This new mysterious girlfriend must truly be amazing! She is doing wonders for Zuko's behavior and sense of self-worth. "We shall have a game every night before bed. How is that? But don't get frustrated. There is a lot to learn."

With his new found skill of cooking and his plan to learn a new language, he confidently wandered about the city. He was feeling particularly lucky and thought that he might discover his hobby this very day.

As the day wore on, he began to grumble. This was turning out to be a wasted day off. He had not found anything that interested him as a hobby. He asked a variety of craftsmen if he may study under them. Many said that they had their quota of apprentices, some let him try out a day. Nothing appealed to him. He sat at the Fountain of Lights and stared at the cloudy darkening sky. _What does I like to do?_ He asked this over and over. He hated playing the sumi horn. He was not good with plants or wood, nor with stone or fine jewelry. He had bought a small flute he could hide in his pocket several weeks ago, but never took it out till now. He twirled it in his fingers. He liked firebending. In fact, he really missed it. He was afraid that without practice, he might begin to lose his touch, or worse, forget something he would need to save his life or the life of another. Funny. Now he thought of the lives of others a lot. Maybe he was changing. Maybe he was just... growing up.

The glassblower! He was a firebender. And he was bending without anyone having fits. He decided to go talk to him tomorrow after his shift at the Tea Shop.

He looked around as the Fountain of Lights was vacant of people. It was going to rain again later in the night. Zuko had the square to himself. He put the little flute to his lips and began to test out some notes, getting his bearings with the notes as he remembered the sumi horn lessons. The fingering was not too different, but he liked the sound of the flute more. He picked a song he knew well. His mother used to sing it. He played it and stumbled through it a bit, then tried again. Over and over until he had it smoothly. He closed his eyes and let it carry him. He could almost hear his mother's voice rise in the distance with the music. He thought he was just dreaming for a while when he realized that it wasn't his mother's voice. Suddenly he stopped playing. The voice continued to sing with such clarity. He looked around the square. He knew the voice was not someone in the square. He stood. It was coming from down the street, maybe around the corner. The darned streets were never straight in Ba Sing Se.

Then he heard something he wished he didn't. The voice was stopped in mid-note with a small yelp and the sound of someone being struck hard. Quickly he pocketed his flute and drew out his knife. He dashed in the direction of the voice. When he reached where she had been, there was no one there. Nothing. He took a deep breath and let it out as a big sigh. He knelt to the ground to inspect the area for signs of a struggle. He found it. Thank gods! At least now he knew he had not imagined it all. He frowned at the fresh blood. It was just a few small drops, but he didn't miss it. He also didn't miss the stray red hairs near it. He stood up suddenly. He had never seen her out this far from the forbidden district before. And now someone had hit her hard enough to bleed. If it wasn't Faelin, the poor woman did not deserve such treatment. If it was Faelin, she might deserve such treatment, but it would be completely dishonorable to act on the treatment. There were no other signs of them.

Who was this woman? Was she who he thought she was? Who is the man that hit her? Was it the same big sumo wrester sized man he saw before? What was going on? The rain came down to wash away all evidence. He touched the small pouch at his belt. Why did Faelin run away and leave them? She may not have known how to actually fight, but she has a strong protective nature and a fierce temper. It was not like her. How would he know what she was actually like? He knew her over three years ago and only for a few weeks.

He came home soaked again. After a hot bath, dry clean clothes and dinner, he started learning the basics of the game of Pai Sho.

Two days of Pai Sho with his uncle and he thought he was going to pull out his short hair. Zuko struggled to remember the moves that were allowable, the names of the patterns, and the rules of the game. Losing repeatedly to his uncle was really making him moody. He wasn't learning anything about secret languages in this.

Zuko smashed his fists on the table knocking the Pai Sho pieces all out of place. "This is STUPID! I don't get it. I am not learning anything about language, just move here and move there and rules and rules and rules... I can't REMEMBER all this stuff and what bearing does it have?! This is a WASTE of TIME!!!" He stormed out of the house.

Iroh sighed and cleaned up the Pai Sho game. To an invisible Zuko and he really wished his nephew would stay and listen, he explained, "You must first learn the basics of the game before you can learn the nuances of the language behind it. You never think things through, Zuko."

-----

Zuko was just moody. There were so many questions in his mind and so many things he wanted to be doing now. He couldn't manage them all. Sometimes he felt like he was wasting all his time here for nothing. It was not getting him any closer to his destiny. A small voice inside his head murmured, _"Never forget who you are... and what is YOUR destiny? It is what you make it."_ He growled and ignored the small voice in his head and stormed through the streets. The rain came down in a light mist. The weather was annoying too. _Who can put up with an entire SEASON of rain?!_

He was frustrated. Learning a language was HARD. And to have to learn a game and the game's rules too was ridiculous. How was he ever going to manage that in any reasonable amount of time to get accepted by the Silver Assassin as his apprentice? He ended up at the Fountain of Lights again. The lights were all out. He sighed, cautiously looked around, and bent fire to light them all. Once all lit, they made the misting rain seem... less annoying. He sat again on the fountain's edge and played the flute for maybe an hour or more. He lost track of time. He was quite wet from the mist, though. The flute playing calmed him. But... he... missed the voice. Part of him was hoping to hear it again. His heart almost ached for it. His heart ached for his mother. And with that thought were so many more questions with no answers.

In the midst of those questions were his wonderings about a hobby or craft. He was so busy with the Tea Shop and the swath of people from the Upper Ring who showed up that he forgot that he wanted to go to speak with the glassblower. It was late now, too late to go speak to him. He dragged himself home instead.

As he came in and dragged himself to his room, he paused at the door and looked over at his uncle who was preparing some fresh tea that smelled so soothing. "Uncle? I am sorry." He quietly went into his room.

Iroh came into the room with the vanilla bergamot tea sweetened and with a touch of milk as Zuko had come to like it. "Every new thing you learn takes time. It is never easy in the beginning. But if you stick to it and work at it, you discover the rewards before you know it. Take Pai Sho. Once you know the rules of the game and can play it without really thinking, then you can have a conversation alongside the game. And when you learn to play it rather well, the very moves and patterns become the language along with many subtle gestures. You will get it. Your mother was excellent at it. She beat me many times!" With a great grin Iroh left the room for Zuko to think and sip tea alone. Since when had Zuko gotten into the habit of a tea before bed? Zuko wondered about that a moment. He liked it. But he was not going to admit it to his uncle.

The next day the Tea Shop was so quiet that Zuko got to leave mid-afternoon. He was determined to go talk to the glassblower. With great determination and a remarkably clear sky, he walked to the Craftsmen's District. He paused at the glassblower's window and froze. Hesitating uncomfortably, he decided to walk in the forbidden district and see if Fong was bothering people. As he walked around the narrow alleys, he felt like a coward. What was wrong with him? Why did talking to this glassblower worry him so much?

Ty-Min came bouncing happily over to him to show him the dolly her mother made for her. It was a small dolly. She wasn't supposed to take it out of the house, but she had seen Zuko wandering the streets and HAD to go get it to show him. He smiled at her and took her out for some dinner. She was so awed that he did. Afterwards she bowed respectfully to him as he had taught her and said thank you. After he returned the bow, she threw herself at him with a fully trusting hug. He glanced around to see if anyone was looking. Then he knelt down and hugged her back. "Off home now before it gets too late. I don't want to have to worry about you." But he always worried about her in the back of his mind.

He then walked back to the glassblowers shop. He stood outside looking in through the window at the man bending fire to heat something into a red hot translucent liquid. The shop was filled with glass panes layered against a wall, mirrors of various sizes and shapes, and all kinds of globes, lantern covers, vases of so many amazing colors, and glass figurines of intricate dragons.

He just stood there trying to think of what to say, how to approach the man. What if he startled him and something broke? Zuko didn't have the financial support he used to. The cloaked woman was suddenly standing beside him, "If you want to ask him something, you will first need to step through the door." And with that she turned and entered the shop. Zuko didn't get to see her face, just the hint of the red hair beneath the hood.

He clenched his fists. If this was not Faelin, she knew just how to use basic logic the same way to completely make him lose his temper. He closed his eyes and took some time to get himself under control. When he looked up again, there were some other people in the shop and the cloaked woman was gone. He threw his arms in the air in exasperation, mostly with himself. He tried to grasp the memory and see if the voice was the same as Faelin's. He couldn't tell. He couldn't remember her voice clearly enough from his older memories of her.

Ok, enough was enough. The people had left the shop. Zuko took a deep breath and walked in. Every step he felt he bumped something. For all of Zuko's grace, he felt like a rhino-lizard in this glass shop. The glassblower glanced over his shoulder at Zuko. Zuko froze, afraid he might break something if he moved again. Instead, Zuko took this awkward moment to look at everything. This man was using the simplest firebending. Hands-of-Heat and Breath-of-Fire. These were the early basics of firebending. Yet what he made with these simple techniques was amazing. The dragons were exquisite in their fine detail. The globes that hung all around were entrancing with their myriads of kaleidoscopic colors being refracted on the walls. How did the man get them so round? The colors and spheres, the delicate strand traversing the inside of the hanging globes... he was definitely entranced.

He looked back at the glassblower. The glassblower placed his hand on the metal tub and heated the strange liquid in it. He added some powder and stirred it with a metal rod. He then dipped the end of a thin (maybe one-inch in diameter) hollow rod into the hot now reddish molten material in the metal basin. "Can I help you?" the man asked as he paused and looked at Zuko.

"Uhhhh. Can... can..." _Where were the words?!_

The man smiled warmly. "Not used to seeing a firebender in this area? Would you like to watch?" Zuko just nodded. The man pointed to a stool. "Sit there then." Zuko sat feeling finally safe and not about to cause a glass-shattering accident.

"My name is Kasai Hari. And I can see that it surprises you to see a firebender in an Earth Nation city like Ba Sing Se. Let me give you a small piece of advice. Once you are here, for whatever reason or however you got here, so long as you don't break any of the rules, no one cares who or what you were beforehand." He lifted the long metal tube with a glob of the molten material on one end. With is Breath-of-Fire, he blew threw the other end and carefully twisted the tube in his hands. The glob at the end grew like a bubble filled with hot air. It was a strong red colored glass. The man then slowly swung the tube in an underhanded arc and the round bubble elongated a bit. He blew in the tube again and the elongated bubble of glass grew some more.

Zuko felt a bit nervous. Did this man know who he was?

As the red now lantern shaped globe at the end of the tube slowly cooled in the air, Kasai Hari turned to Zuko. "I remember that day, that day some of us got it in our heads that something was wrong in the Fire Nation. We heard a rumor that the prince defied the war council and tried to prevent the death of many soldiers. And for it he was dueled by the king, wounded dishonorably and then banished. Some soldiers defected into the wilderness after that. I used to do this," gesturing to the stunningly beautiful works of glass art. "Then I was conscripted into the military. Refusal meant your family was jailed or killed. So I joined. To protect my wife and son. When he came of age, he was ordered to join. He refused because he wanted to keep the business going and care for his mother while I was stuck in the military. So our glass shop was burned to the ground and my wife killed anyway. He was then placed in a group of recruits at the front lines. He died there. I wished that prince's words had sunk in then. He was very brave to defy the war council. There have been many defectors after the first few. And some of us have helped families escape, too, especially after the order came to raze all the temples for sheltering traitors. I have been here ever since. And there are many many other Fire Nation defectors and refugees. No one cares who you were. Just abide by the city rules and start a new life."

Kasai Hari lifted the cool red lantern glass cover and used a fine controlled Breath-of-Fire and melted the lantern from the tube. He placed the glass creation in Zuko's hands with the still hot end pointing up. He searched out a file as he spoke. "You must have very controlled breath to work glass. And you must never inhale through your mouth. It is instant death if you suck back hot glass." Zuko was afraid to drop the expensive glass lantern cover. The notion of sucking back hot glass gave him a small fear that firmly rooted the notion that glassblowing was not for him. Kasai Hari started to file the top edge of the red glass in Zuko's hands after showing him how to hold it. "Nine more of these to make for the lovely lady. Will you stay for them all?"

Zuko thought. "I am not much use here."

Kasai Hari smiled knowingly. He put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Do you know anything about weapons, particularly blades?" Something in his eyes said he knew full well that Zuko did. "Because there is a blade smith in the Lower Ring's Northeast Craftsmen's district, you know, where there is access to the ocean. He keeps bugging me to come work firebending in his forge. When I refuse, he bags me to marry his sister and have firebending sons to come work in his forge." He laughed freely. "You might want to go see him. Tell him I sent you specially." And Kasai Hari saw Zuko to the door and bade him come back and visit any time.

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_**A/N: if you have read this far, know that there is MUCH more to come. I would love some reviews. Please?**_


	8. Chapter 8: Leaning Successes

_**Chapter 8: Learning Successes**_

Zuko spent the night in deep thought. He wasn't really paying attention to the game of Pai Sho he was playing with his uncle. And he didn't even get upset when he lost for the tenth time. Finally Iroh started walking Zuko through the moves, well, more like talking him through the moves. Every move Zuko made, Iroh explained the good and bad of the move and how it could be countered. Zuko frowned suddenly and really looked at the Pai Sho game. "UNCLE! It is like a war table when we try to sort out ours and our enemy's strategies!" Iroh just smiled proudly at Zuko. Zuko was just not the book/study type of kid nor type of adult. He needed to be doing and he needed to see the real life applications or it made no sense. He had to have goals, or what was the point and purpose.

During the night, Zuko dreamed of Faelin and his mother. He dreamed of Ty-min and her dolly. He dreamed of Kasai Hari's son on the front lines. He dreamed of the duel with his father. He woke with a yell. Frustrated, he slammed himself back down on the bed mat. "I have a destiny. And my destiny is to stand in his place," he said firmly into his pillow. "I will find the avatar and I will get back my honor and my place as heir." Even if he had to learn to be an assassin and kill Ozai to claim that destiny by force. These were dark thoughts that ended in tears as he wondered fiercely where his mother was and if she were alive or dead, wondered what she did, wondered why she left, wondered if he would ever see her again.

The next morning he was up very early. He inhaled a quick breakfast and left a note for his uncle that he would meet him at the Tea Shop by his shift start at noon. The sun wasn't even up yet. There was just pre-dawn light highlighting the clouds. He jogged all the way to the Northeast Craftsmen's District. He had not really been there much. However, the forge was easy to spot. It was already busy with two men, three teens a bit younger or maybe the same age as Zuko (surprisingly one was a girl) and about eight youngsters rushing about putting things in order.

Zuko approached the men. He wondered who was in charge. The two men looked up at him from the armloads of iron and steel rods. Zuko suddenly worried that he would never know which was in charge, if he ever learned to tell the two twins apart at all. "I... I am here to learn bladesmithing. Kasai Hari sent me specially. He said you could use someone with my bending skills."

The men raised identical eyebrows. The one of the left scrubbed his bald head with his scarred hand. The other held out an unscarred hand to Zuko. "We are Ken (pointing to himself) and Fo-ji (pointing to his twin)." Scarred hands were going to be the telling difference, because their faces were identical. "Kasai Hari sent, hunh? Did he discover some long lost relative at last for me?" And they both laughed deep hearty laughs. "GORAN! Take the whelp in back and show him the forge. Make sure he knows where everything is before he goes. If he can't find something or a place in the forge on his own tomorrow, you'll be moving hot metal barehanded!" The younger teen boy named Goran yelped and dragged Zuko off for a tour. Zuko learned the names of tools, the names of the locations in the forge, where to be and where to not be and when, and as Goran put it, to listen to the twins "or they will eat you for breakfast!"

As Zuko walked back to the Tea Shop, he repeated over and over the names of things. He was not quite sure what to expect of the huge burly twins and he did not want to be responsible for the boy burning his hands on hot metal just because Zuko could not remember something. This task kept him mildly distracted all day at the Tea Shop and well after. At home waiting for his uncle to arrive he paced the main room in the pattern of the forge trying to fix the locations in his mind. It was the largest forge he had ever seen... other than the palace forge, but he really wasn't allowed in that one.

How was he going to remember everything?! The Pai Sho and the smithing... cooking was easy. You read the recipe and just DO. But this language and craft stuff... He was worried it would be his undoing! His head was so full of things that he even dreamed about walking the forge or playing Pai Sho. Sometimes he dreamed of his mother standing over his shoulder helping him finally beat his uncle in a game. Sometime he saw the red haired woman drop her cloak hood and raise her arms to show glowing tattoos of intricate knot work patterns. In the end his dreams drifted off into his mother singing as the scent of vanilla and bergamot drifted to him from his empty tea cup.

The next week, Zuko's life narrowed down to early mornings in the forge, working the Tea Shop for five hours starting at noon, to sitting at the Fountain of Lights playing his flute or trying to remember things from the forge or the Pai Sho games, to sometimes watching people play Pai Sho in the Western Square (trying to look like he was not looking), to sweating it out mentally with his uncle of the game board (usually ending in him being angry and storming off). He was exhausted. He had no idea how he was going to fit time in to train as an assassin.

When he thought he would lose his mind, he would head out into the evening to some quiet place where no one was about and play his flute. Sometimes the Fountain of Lights, sometimes the tree on the hill close to the western entrance to the Middle Ring, sometimes a rooftop somewhere. And since he missed being out on his ship, he often snuck out the side wall gate near the forge to sit by the ocean. He wondered if Faelin was doing this when she was stressed. She must. She did it on his ship. But he never saw here at this spot, a spot so accessible by those in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se.

He was growing to love and hate the forge. He loved to watch the blades manifest out of crappy looking metal rods into folded red hot metal and over skilled work and time become an incredible blade of unsurpassable craftsmanship. He never knew what went into making the swords and knives he used. This was incredibly fascinating, fascinating enough that he did not complain when he was grouped with the younglings that shared his experience level. He hated that he was often stuck with the bellows keeping the fire steady. He was relieved when they finally said he can use firebending to maintain the fire now that he understood what level the heat had to be at for what work and that he knew how to keep it steady without firebending. He was amazed that these twins knew how to use a firebender in their forge even though they were earthbenders. He was always amazed to watch them call rock away from metal to find every bit of metal available to them.

He did however come to the conclusion that he just could not stand playing Pai Sho. He did not have enough interest in it to keep him motivated to remember everything. He was too busy trying to remember stuff from the forge and the words shouted about with the more experienced apprentices for different bladesmithing techniques.

He finally came to his uncle. "Uncle? I have tried. I have really tried. But I cannot get nor understand and definitely do NOT like Pai Sho." He hated to disappoint his uncle. The one thing that crushed his spirit was the look of disappointment or disapproval in his uncles eyes directed at him. He was expecting that this time. Somewhere deep down he had hoped to be able to have something he could do with his uncle that they both liked. Pai Sho however was not going to be it.

Iroh sighed. He was disappointed, but not in his nephew. "I figured as much. I hope you are finding something you like even more. By the way, I have not heard anything about that new girlfriend you have. You never cooked for her. Did you two break it off?"

"Uh... no... uh... We... we are having some trouble getting together." That felt awkward and then some! He moped out of the house for a quiet spot and stared at the clouds. He bet himself a gold coin that he was going to get home soaked. He didn't budge though.

In a way, he felt so very relieved to not have to keep learning Pai Sho. On the other hand, he felt like a failure for not understanding it and for giving up. He could kiss that assassin's apprenticeship goodbye. He didn't learn another language. This self-deprecation started to affect his performance and focus at the forge.

Seeing this, Ken had an idea. He brought one of the metal rods over to Zuko. "Here. Tell me where this rod should be slotted." He gestured to the rack with the stone cubbies for each type of long metal rod.

Zuko: "How do I do that?"

Ken: "You are a firebender. Figure it out. You have all morning."

Zuko puzzled over this. How was he supposed to know which rod it was? It was grey. Almost all the rods were grey. They could be any mix of metals. If he slotted it into the wrong slot it could mean the ruination of hours or even days and weeks of work. Not to mention his dismissal as had happened to the last apprentice who was sorting metal rods. How was he supposed to do any better? And how was being a firebender supposed to be an advantage in this decision?!

First he ruled out all the rods who did not match the color. This one was a very light grey. That process of elimination narrowed the decision down to, oh, ten to fifteen types of rods from sixty. He sat and groaned as he stared at the rod trying to will it to speak to him. Now and then the twins would look over at him, but they let him be to "figure it out." They would not have given him something they didn't think he could do. What had he learned so far? The names of the hammers: ball, cross, straight peen, sledge, single jack, set, flatter. He learned the names of other tools: tongs, chisels, hardies (bicks, fullers, wedges, and swages), punches, and drifts. He learned the names of other equipment: quench tank and slack tub. He had no idea how any of these were used. He had only learned how to know it when he saw it and how to name it. None of this was helping him now. What else had he learned? Nothing. Just bellows and fire and heat levels.

HEAT LEVELS!!!

He sat up straight all of a sudden. He knew by the heat level which rod was what, but he couldn't just go modifying the heat levels in the forge just to see which one worked with this rod. No... but he could firebend the same heat level on one end of the rod. That took some serious control and precision. He felt a bit like the glassblower, except there was no possibility of this shattering into a thousand pieces in his hands like glass could. So he went through all the fire levels working from the lowest to the highest till he found the right one that made it glow red then white. Feeling so proud of his ingenuity he was about to announce that he had it! Then he sat with a frown. Damn. That heat level fits two different metal blends. He continued staring at the hot end of the metal rod as it cooled slowly. It took him almost all of his day off to get this far. He was exhausted from all the firebending. And he was now out of ideas. The two metal blends that this could be ... well he didn't even know them by name. He just knew which cubbies they came from.

Ken approached the sweating Zuko and asked if he had figured it out yet. Zuko indicated the two cubbies. "But I don't know how to tell the difference between them." Ken showed him by dipping the rod into the quench tank of cool water. If the rod was the one from say cubby A then to reheat it to white would take the same amount of time as before. If the rod was from cubby B, then it would take much less time. Zuko's eyes were wide with interest.

He summoned up some more power from who knew where and was about to heat the rod again when Ken shook his head. "No Lee. That is enough for today. Every bender has his limits. I don't want to pay for going beyond yours. I can see you are exhausted and that you are really reaching for that energy. Time to relax. We will see you in the morning." Ken smiled and patted Zuko on the shoulder. Zuko felt like he finally did something right, and that he actually had learnt something when he thought he had not. This went a long way for easing his spirit.


	9. Chapter 9: The Hooded Woman

_**Chapter 9: The Hooded Woman **_

With his evening time freed up, and the sky frequently dark from rain or clouds, the Blue Spirit came out to explore. He was very hesitant to don the mask again after the last time. And even now, he felt cold and different with it. It gave him some extra anonymity. He started to thoroughly explore the South District that he was in with the Tea Shop, as well as the Eastern Quarter where the glassmaker and the forbidden district were. Just in case he may never be accepted as an apprentice, he felt he needed to at least take some of his training into his own hands.

He found an old abandoned building. Inside, there were some squatters (people so poor he was shocked that they could survive there). But in the basement of the building where there was some flooding in the uneven floor with large dry patches here and there, he found an enormous room. It must have been a great storehouse at one point. And as the population grew with the refugees of the war, the officials may come and rework the place into living quarters as they had done to another old warehouse in the South Quarter.

Zuko spent many hours roaming. He kept searching for Ty-min, checking that she was safe. He tried to catch sight of the Silver Assassin. But, that never happened. It was like the man appeared and evaporated from existence. He also kept watch for the cloaked woman. Maybe he could find out who she was? He wanted to know if it was her for sure that had sung and been hit the other night. He also wanted to know WHY she had been hit. Was she ok? She must be in some way fine since she spoke to him at the glassblower's shop. He was good at sneaking in and out of a place. That was a skill he felt he was fairly adept at. He used to do it a lot growing up. It was sometimes the only way to know what was going on with people in and out of the palace. Some times he spotted the cloaked woman, but never long enough to get close to her.

During the rest of his free time not spying about, he was in the grimy damp basement. He started with the katas, basic stretch and muscle training and toning movements. Then he worked through all the moves he learned as a firebender, only without the firebending. He was afraid to firebend here like this where his moves were clearly fighting moves. It was hard to separate the firebending from the moves and it forced him to really think and focus, maintain control over himself. His feet would splash in the one or two inches of water on the floor. His clothing would be soaked by both sweat and the water leaking in from the floor above to drip on him. When the humidity was hot in the early evening before the sun went down, he would strip down to just his pants and the mask. The mask helped keep his slick wet hair from getting in his eyes. He also wanted to make sure know one could readily identify him if they saw someone practicing firebending martial arts, the Shaolin styles he had learned all his life that are unique to only Fire Nation Military and warriors. He wanted to learn the lightning technique his uncle had showed him that he could never manage. WAIT... he had managed it a very little bit. But... how? HOW had he done it? _What did uncle say about it?_

**(Memory of out in the desert with his uncle wounded and teaching him to bend lightening)**

_Iroh: Lightning is a pure expression of firebending, without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightning the cold-blooded fire. (Iroh takes the tea kettle off the fire and pours it into another pot. He then begins to pour two cups.) It is precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind. _

_(He hands a cup to Zuko.) _

_Zuko: I see. That's why we're drinking tea: To calm the mind. _

_Iroh: There is energy all around us. The energy is both yin and yang; positive energy and negative energy. (He holds up one finger on each hand to stand for the two forms of energy.) Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and in a moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together. (He brings his hands together to illustrate the point.) You provide release and guidance, creating lightning. _

_Zuko: I'm ready to try it! _

_Iroh: (rubbing his injured shoulder slightly.) Remember, once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide. Breathe first. _

But Zuko wasn't ready to try it and fail repeatedly. "I am not going to fail again. I just have to be sure I am ready to try it. And..." with reluctance, "I am not... not yet." Taking in a deep slow breath, he repeated the exercises of his firebending. The sweat glistening on his skin and trickling in small rivulets contouring his muscles. He imagined Zhao before him on a ship deck in a duel he had with him so long ago. He remembered Zhao at the North Pole. Zhao's pride was his death. "I must not let that happen. I must remember what my destiny is and keep my focus. I must never forget who I am. I am Zuko, son of Ursa and Firelord Ozai and heir to the Fire Nation!" A circle of fire erupted around him which he quickly bent out of existence. _Damn it!_ He cursed to himself. Sighing and taking another deep breath he started the exercises over.

The day was brighter than it had been for a while. Still cloudy and threatening rain, but not the dark storminess of the past few days. His basement workout space was flooded almost two feet from last night's torrential downpour. So after work he wandered the forbidden district with a small sac of bread and cheese and dried meat for Ty-min. He walked about with purpose, looking at shops and exchanging news and information, sometimes by giving money for that information. Sometimes that information was a book or scroll. Zuko liked that people thought they did not understand him or that there was some secret message in the books or scrolls he requested. Some was news of the war outside, which was forbidden by the Ministry of Culture. Some were sheet music for his flute. Some were texts for smithing, blades and forges. He was determined to be good, not just good but exceptional at the things he was doing... and as for remembering stuff at the bladesmiths' forge... he felt he needed all the help he could find on his own.

As he walked down a street with some stalls filled with veil head scarves and others with baskets of semi-precious gemstones in the small mini-market area that spanned two crowded streets, he heard some yelling. "THIEF! THIEF!" As he turned, Ty-min slammed into his legs and hid behind him with a large peach clutched in her small hands. The angry merchant came yelling at the child right yup to Zuko when he stopped suddenly seeing Zuko kneel and take the fruit from the child.

"That is the most exquisite peach Ty-min. You are right. We should definitely go to this man's stall to buy fruit from him exclusively. But you should have just brought me over. He didn't know I had asked you to find me the best fruit merchant in this area." Zuko then stood to face the merchant. He put on his most leader-like and royal air. "I am so sorry that this child misunderstood me when I asked for proof that the best fruit merchant was in this district. The young uneducated children here do tend to misunderstand. And this one is still very young. Stealing your fruit was definitely not the intention. Please, guide me back to your stall so I can make a proper purchase."

The merchant was so dumbfounded by this man before him. This scarred young man spoke so well with an air of higher education. And his clothing was not the drab wear of the people in this district. He sputtered an apology for the confusion and lead both Zuko and Ty-min back to his fruit stand. There Zuko bought several peaches and a few other nice looking fruits. He then walked Ty-min back to her house with the bag of fruit. He walked in silence with a frown. All he had said to her along the way was, "Ty-min, I am very disappointed by this."

She stuffed her hands in her pockets, hung her head and walked in silence beside him as little tears of shame trickled down her cheeks. She felt even more ashamed when he gave her the fruit AND a bag of bread and cheese and dried meat. She wrapped her arms around him and muffled through her tears into his pants, "I'm sorry."

On his way back from seeing Ty-min into the general vicinity of her home, he felt it not wise to be completely seen there in case he had to deal with Fong. He wanted to be able to do that with better preparation. Also, Ty-min assured him she was safe. Her mother was actually on the opposite corner. She was a tall thin woman who might have been lovelier if her predicament was not so poor. Zuko wondered what else he could do to help. "Why do I care about them? They are not my people," he muttered to himself. Sighing, "No one deserves this kind of life." He watched from his corner as Ty-min babbled to her mother about the food. At first the woman was concerned. She looked up in Zuko's direction. He bowed his head to her and walked away.

The sky began to darken as storm clouds began rolling in. He looked up at them for a moment. When he looked down, he spotted the cloaked woman just down the alley turning a corner. He picked up his pace and then hurried around the corner. She was just setting down a heavy box of red glass lantern covers. She turned to the sound of him coming up behind her. She frowned under her cloak hood. She turned away from him to pick up the box again. He slammed his hand against the wall effectively blocking her with his arm. She froze and turned again to face him. "What do you want?" She asked quietly.

"To know if you are who I think you are." She turned the other way to abandon the glass and escape. But he blocked here there too. Faelin would be ready with harsh words for him by now, if this were Faelin. She turned to face him again, jaw clenched as tight as her fists. He reached under her hood, pushing it back some and getting a hold of her by the back of the neck. She closed her eyes and turned her head frozen still and starting to shake slightly.

Zuko felt it like small shivers of fear. She dared not move for fear of being hit or violated in some way, as if this was normal course for her. The fight was not there at all in her. Zuko began to wonder. This woman's hair was shoulder length, not long and braided. And just near where his hand held her head, was a large fading bruise along her jaw and mouth. So she **was** the one singing. And she **was** hit, hit hard enough for the bruise to still be there after this many days. Her features were so like Faelin's, but where was the fire in the spirit? Faelin knows he would NEVER hurt a woman. _Gods and ancestors. Never ever would he hurt a woman. Didn't she know that?_ Then he frowned.

How would she know? He just gave her every indication that hurting her was his intention... Suddenly ashamed, "I thought you were someone I knew. But..." He eased back releasing his touch on her. "Perhaps I am wro..." His breath suddenly caught along with the sudden sharp pain, one he never experienced before. His eyes bulged. No sound came forth. He bent a bit trying to swallow as blackness and stars mixed in his vision and pain swelled up from his groin to his throat and back to his groin. He brought a hand there as a wave of pain and nausea brought him to his knees. Through small gasps, "Ok... you are Shinzui." And he groaned with the agony no longer able to consider any other thoughts.

Her eyes widened at the name only one young man had teased her with. Shinzui... a mystery. "Zuko?" she whispered as she turned to see him trying to recover and just not. The sky opened and rain fell hard with a clap of thunder and lightening. She knelt down to him. "Oh my gods, I am so sorry!" She winced at what she knew must be the most painful thing he has ever experienced. She had caught him in that second where his guard was down and planted her knee firmly into his groin with all her might and deadly accuracy. "Oh gods... I am so so so sorry."

He looked up at her. "No you're not."

She smirked. "I am mostly sorry. How dare you touch me!" And with that she covered her head with her hood, picked up her box of heavy glass and walked away... leaving him to consider his stupidity.

Feeling bad for kind of unmanning her old protector, Faelin deposited her box with the man who ordered the red glass lanterns and headed back to where she had left the crumpled Zuko. The rain was coming down so hard. She ducked into the small side door to the spare room where she sleeps and grabbed a second cloak. Then headed back to Zuko. He didn't have anything to protect him from this rain. That and she really did feel bad for what she did.

He was standing now, bracing himself against the wall with one hand as he tried to regain some semblance of dignity before walking home soaked to the bone. An oiled cloak wrapped itself about his shoulders. He saw her and growled. "You're back. What? You gonna laugh at my demise now?"

She stood in front of him and pulled the hood of his cloak up to cover his head from the rain. He growled again. "Why bother. I am soaked already." He was still in too much pain to really do anything but let her cover him from the rain. He was genuinely mad at her.

She came closer. "I really am sorry. You had surprised me and... I didn't know what you would do."

Zuko: "Gods, Faelin. I would NEVER hurt you or any woman. You should know that."

Faelin: "It has been a long time. I have heard all kinds of nasty rumors about you. How am I supposed to know what kind of person you really are? And why are you here anyways?"

Zuko: "Why am I here?! No. no… don't help me. Why are YOU here?"

Faelin's voice got very serious, the way it would when she was only going to tell you half of something. "I have been here for a while. I had no choice."

And he knew she would tell him no more. That was so frustrating. He hated the secrets. Hated them then, hates them even more now. They walked slowly through the district back to the glassblower's shop. "I am here as a refugee. But that is only temporary." He could not believe how the pain was just not fading. He had seen some men take a hit to the groin before and they got up and walked away, after a few minutes. _How did they do it?!_

At the glassblower's shop she hesitated. He stopped and looked at her quizzically. She looked around and walked on with him southward to the Fountain of Lights. It was dark there. Right now though, he was in no mood to light them. "Have you ever seen them lit, Faelin?" He suddenly felt stupid. She had said she had been here for a while, so of course she would have seen the Fountain of Lights.

"Only once. It was just for a moment. Someone was playing the most beautiful tune on a flute." She sighed. "I sang to it for a bit."

He noticed she was edgy the farther from the forbidden district she got. "Have you never stepped out of that grimy hole of a district? Relax. I am here."

She raised her eyebrows and tried not to snicker. "You are in no shape to fight anyone, Zuko."

"Lee. I am known as Lee here." He knew she was right, but he thought that if he really had to he would. No matter how much it hurt, if for no other reason than to find out answers to his many questions. He stopped walking and she looked at him with concern. He took a couple of controlled breaths. The pain was fading... a bit. Oh the aching and bruising he will have for the next little while. He reached for her cheek under her hood and she gracefully turned away from him, avoiding his touch. "Who hit you and why?" He retracted his hand and walked more.

She was silent for nearly a block of walking. "I made some promises. And then I broke some. Breaking rules here has consequences."

He frowned. He was not liking these promises she made and was forced to follow. Even more so, he was not liking the consequences she suffered for breaking them. It was wrong. _What in the nine hells did she promise? Is it part of that having no choice being here? Maybe she didn't have a choice. Maybe she was taken prisoner._ She was doing one of those 'I am not telling you, I am brave and strong and can handle the world, I am just going to stand/walk on the ship's bow and it will all be alright' kind of attitudes. Shinzui. Shinzui shinzui shinzui. He practically used the word as a curse in his mind. Sometimes she drove him crazy. He doubted this would be any different. Except... everything was different.

They stopped at the door of his house. "I will have my uncle escort you home." He winced as he took the two steps up.

"No no. I am fine." And she hurried off before he could open the door.

The humiliation was almost unbearable. His uncle was leaning out the window waiting for him to get home and saw the cloaked woman with Zuko. He also saw Zuko's odd gait as he walked in the front door. Zuko did not want to know what his uncle was thinking. He even hoped he would be spared knowing. No such luck.

"So, nephew! Was that your new girlfriend?! What is her name? Why didn't you bring her in? Shame on you. This weather is horrible. She should have come in for tea. And what is wrong with you? Did you have a _wild evening_? Maybe she has too much stamina for you?" Iroh paused in his jovial questions as he heated the water for Zuko's bath to rid the chill of the rain. He saw how Zuko stood to catch his breath and try to focus the pain away... and try to shut out his uncle's words. "Hmmm... did you have a fight? I will make a tea for the pain. You must be more careful to protect yourself. I want grand nieces and grand nephews one day." And Iroh started the kettle for tea.

Zuko was red-faced with embarrassment. He stripped down in his room and ever so carefully sunk into the hot bath, wincing much. From the other room, he heard his uncle mixing and grinding herbs. "Uncle, she is not my girlfriend!" What was she though? She was not a friend nor an enemy. "We just... know each other."

"Uh-hunh. And you just happened to accidentally walk into a short post?" Iroh was still amused... concerned, but amused.

Zuko pursed his lips. He felt like he would never live this down. "It was an accident, Uncle! I accidentally surprised her. How was I supposed to know a woman reacts that way?!"

_How indeed,_ thought Iroh. _Poor Zuko has not exactly had much girl experience._ "Perhaps we should have lessons for you on how to treat a woman? Then you won't surprise one to react like that?"

Zuko wished he could drown in that small tub. This conversation was just getting worse. "Did you make up with her, Nephew? That is always the good part, you know!" Zuko sunk his head beneath the water and tried. Coming up for air suddenly as his uncle came into the bedroom.

"UNCLE! Can I please have some PRIVACY!" Zuko was aghast by the intrusion.

Iroh smiled and ignored Zuko. He set down a small tray with tea. "This will help with the pain," and then he left Zuko be.

The next morning, Zuko felt much better. He was definitely bruised, black and purple in all the wrong places. The worst of the pain had faded, but he was very very sensitive. It was such a reality check for him. Now his instincts for protecting his manhood were very reactive. He would sit with care, but much preferred to stand.

He was late showing up at the forge. He just couldn't jog there as he usually did. He tried and discovered that was a really bad idea. It was like everyone was psychic or something. They all looked at him and his slightly odd gait and just knew what happened to him. There were little snickers and grins. Ken patted him on the shoulder and gave him work that did not require him sitting or having anything in his lap. "Ignore them. We and they have all been in your situation, at least once. Be thankful it was not a rod of hot metal." Zuko's eyes widened. That was a smithing accident he never thought could happen. "It happens once in a while when there are this many people in a forge. When it no longer hurts, you will find it funny. Trust me."

He ached by the time he reached the Tea Shop for his shift there. He was also grateful for the cloak Faelin gave him. It was raining hard again. He needed to get this back to her. It was not his. He didn't even know if it was hers. It seemed too big to fit her. Did she borrow it? Did she steal it? That was ridiculous. She wouldn't steal it. Sometimes he felt like he knew her. And sometimes, most of the time, she was shinzui. There were so many questions, so many secrets. He wanted to know the answers. He was also feeling a bit ashamed that she now sees him like this, a refugee with nothing but a hut with his uncle and a stupid job serving tea. He wanted her to still see him as the great warrior, leader of an army, head of a warship, and heir to the Fire Nation throne. One day, he would be that again. How to get answers…. He sighed with a little frustration and served tea while he thought.

He could just spy on her. That was a good idea, if a bit... unscrupulous. If he were to be an assassin (with or without official training) he would need practice in that. He could practice by scouting her out. Didn't assassins scout out their targets? And what if she saw him? She wouldn't, she would see the Blue Spirit. Oh... but maybe she knew the Blue Spirit was him. This was frustrating. Ok. He would just have to make sure he was not seen. He can do that. Except for the rain. How did assassins and spies manage in the rain? If they went inside they would leave a very obvious wet trail.

The dark and rainy afternoon meant he could sneak out to the old basement and work out for a while in peace. He got there and it was still flooded. He groaned. The water was chill. There must be a way to stop the flooding. Where was all the water coming from? And how was he going to get it out. He went up to the main floor. Many rooms there were flooded too and the water was dripping down through cracks into the basement and flowing down the stairs. The squatters were on the next floor up shivering in the only sort of dry room. This will not do. It will not do at all. He grabbed the able looking boys and men from among the squatters and put them to work finding and stuffing the holes. He went out and slipped his mask into his backpack. Then he headed to the market and bought some roofing tiles. After a few trips and his savings dwindling, there were boxes of repair materials for makeshift fixing for this building. It would be very rudimentary fixing. He hoped they knew how to use the materials. He sure didn't. He entered with his mask on. The squatters were falling over themselves with thanks to him and they busied themselves most of the night.

This took a couple days. The rain showed no signs of letting up. It was dark by day and darker by night, except when the lightning flashed. This was rumored to be the worst rainy season ever. He was able to do some katas and stretches without too much pain. And yes, even now started to feel that the experience was a bit amusing and foolish.

He tried to follow Faelin now and then, but all he learned was where she stayed, the building where he was sucked in through the wall. How did she do that? He walked around the two-story building to the front and froze. The new red lanterns shone brightly around the front entrance and inside the windows. Has she lowered herself that much?! Was she being force to sleep with men against her wishes for lack of anything else to do? This was a bit shocking for him. He really had not expected her to be staying in one of **these** places. He saw the big sumo guy at the door. Gritting his teeth, he disliked this even more. Maybe she is forced to do this. He had seen how that man grabbed her and dragged her away from the calligraphy supply shop.

He leaned against the wall. How could he get her out of that situation? How could he... what? What could he do for her? Where else would she live and work? Was it even his problem? Could he even do anything? Did she even want him to? What if she... liked this? The notion turned his stomach and stirred an odd angry energy in him at the thought of men on her, more so of her maybe liking it, worse so of her say no to them and them just ignoring her. The whole visual made him shake his head and run. He needed to get away from this before he did something unthinkable... like burn down the building or something.

He got home and stared at his ceiling from his bed mat for a long time. Then he got up and tried to make tea for himself. He wanted the soothing tea his uncle made for him. But what went into it? Iroh came out of his bedroom to see Zuko sorting through containers. "Nephew?"

Feeling like he was just caught with one hand in a cookie jar and the other in the coin jar, he froze. "uhhh... I uhhh..." Did he really want to admit to his uncle that he liked the tea and wanted some?

Iroh shifted the containers back into place and set out the ones for the tea he suspected Zuko was trying to make. Zuko looked over his uncle's shoulder to watch, trying not to look interested. Then he just sat down at the table. "Uncle? I am sorry I woke you."

"I was awake. I like to know you have gotten home safe before I sleep." Iroh poured the tea for them both and added the milk and sugar to Zuko's. He preferred his with nothing.

Zuko felt bad about that. He didn't want his uncle worrying about him. To change the subject he asked, "Uncle? What exactly goes on in one of those houses with the ladies and red lanterns? Have you even been to one?"

Iroh nearly choked on his tea! This was the last question he thought to hear out of his nephew's mouth. "Um. In my days I have availed myself of their services." Zuko was a bit shocked by this, but then... he had asked. What was he expecting as an answer? "There are many lovely ladies in them and you get to choose one and ... well... it costs lots of money for some. And some can give you quite an education!" Iroh laughed. Zuko smacked his hand over he face with embarrassment. He did not want to think of his uncle rolling around in bed with some lady. He shuddered desperately trying to shake the visual from his mind. "Maybe I should bring you to one! Did you see one that interested you?"

Zuko was flabbergasted! It was his turn to nearly choke on his tea. Hurriedly he spat out. "No!" But that would give him a good idea of the place if he could get inside. An inside scouting look. No. No no no. What if she saw him in there? He might get another knee to the groin when next they spoke. So... "No, uncle. No." With that he went to bed.


	10. Chapter 10: Tymin's Tragedy

**_Chapter 10: Ty-min's Tragedy_**

Zuko was feeling much better, just the mild ache to remind him of his mishap with Faelin. He stretched in the now mostly unflooded basement. The rain had made for many problems in this district. Lots of people went hungry for a few days or became sick from the changes in temperature from day to night and getting soaked. One of the squatter's young children died of hyperthermia.

It made for an irritable bunch of people out on the streets... and an irritable Zuko. Thugs tried to mug him a few times. Beatings went back and forth. He gave a few bruises. He got a few bruises. Fong was apparently trying to take advantage of the situation and exert their dominance as the top gang. Both the Blue Spirit and Zuko (as Lee) were getting a reputation as an enemy of Fong very quickly. It did not help that Zuko was protecting some folks, or helping them out in some way. Zuko found he was spending lots of his savings on people he felt needed a little extra help. Although, he always made sure the things that needed to be paid were paid first at home.

Home. he chastised himself for calling it that. Home was somewhere he was exiled from, forced to humble himself here as a refugee. Home was where he was destined to return... with the avatar, if that ever happened. How was that going to happen with him stuck in this hole?!

Through the light rain, while he was distracted with these thoughts of home, A small body threw itself against his legs in hysterical crying fits and screaming. He peeled Ty-min from around his legs and pulled her under his cloak (his borrowed cloak). He knelt and she threw her arms around his neck and through gasps of breath between torrents of tears was incoherent sob-filled babbling. "Ty-min. TY-MIN!" He shook her a moment to get her attention. "What happened?" She was bruised on her face with her shirt torn.

She gulped for air. "They came... Mama told me to go... They came for the food. She yelled at them, Fong came to take everything away again!" She gulped and sobbed more. "I screamed at them and...and…. Mama screamed at them... They wouldn't stop hitting her. She told me to run to you and not come back." Her coherency was lost again as she buried her face in his shirt, crying.

Fong. Again. He wrapped his arms around the little girl and lifted her up and onto his hip so she could be protected by the cloak. His eyes darkened to a deep angry amber. "Show me where." She pointed. He walked.

The sun was now setting and its red rays peaked through one section of cloud to slash red hues on all the buildings. It winked out into darkness again as black thunderclouds rolled in to cover it. By the time they made it to Ty-min's alley, all was quiet. No one roamed out on the street. Thunder rumbled a few times. Then the rain poured down in heavy loads from the sky. When they got close to Ty-min's house, she began to wriggle in his arms. He whispered fiercely, "No. Stay still. They might still be here." He balanced her on his left hip and drew his knife. At the door, which was opened a crack, there was just dead silence.

He lowered Ty-min to her feet. He could smell the blood through the opened crack in the door. He gripped his knife firmly, ready to use it no matter what, if he needed to. With his free hand he gave the door a little push.

Ty-min shrieked at the scene inside. "MAMA!!!!!"

With his free hand, Zuko quickly grabbed the child before she recklessly ran in and yanked her back holding her in his firm grip. Silently he cursed. If Fong's men were in there, the element of surprise was now lost.

Nothing happened.

Ty-min struggled like a feral animal in his grip, but he did not let go. "MAMA!! MAMA!!" He thought about telling her to be quiet, but what was the point now?

The room they lived in, for that was all it was, was a mess of laundry scattered on the floor. One large dirty bed mat in the corner. A box with the dishes in it that might double as a wash basin. The dolly on the floor by the bed mat. Some smashed cups now on the floor from the cooking counter. It was a one room living space. No one was inside. At least, none of Fong's gang. There was no place in there to hide. Also, no place to run. Ty-min must have had her shirt ripped and gained the bruises in her struggle to escape.

Ty-min was still shrieking through her tears and wrestling to be free. Zuko released her. Ty-min threw herself down onto the floor in the pool of blood there at her mother's side. Zuko could see from the vacant look in the woman's eyes that she was dead. Ty-min kept shaking her, kept begging her mother to say something. Zuko did a quick walk around the room and a short scout outside. Fong did their brutality and left. All the food and anything that might have been of value were gone. The woman might have been alive if she had not fought back. Sure now that the area was safe, he looked at Ty-min weeping over her mother, whimpering and calling to her in her now tiny scared voice.

Now she had no one.

Zuko took a deep breath. His mother might have left him, but at least he could think she was alive somewhere. He also had someone, his uncle.

Ty-min had no one.

He sheathed his knife with determination. No she didn't. She had him. He picked up a sack and filled it with some of what looked like Ty-min's few clothes and the dolly from the bed mat. He knelt down to the body of the dead woman and used his knife to cut a lock of the woman's hair. He will get a small pouch for it for Ty-min to carry with her. For now he put it in his small pouch with his other lock of hair he had collected from someone else that had died. "Ty-min," he spoke softly but firmly. "She is dead. It is time to go." She just looked up at him, her face pale and dirty with smears of blood and tear streaks down her cheeks. He stood, shouldering the sack. Then he picked her up and embraced her close. She was shaking, silent tears still spilling down her cheeks. She clung to him as they walked out into the rain.

Jaw set tight, golden eyes hard as stone and face an unreadable mask, Zuko walked home. No one got in his way. One look at him and people cleared out and let him pass. He had the small child held in his arms under the cloak. He strode with long, fast, sure steps through the districts to his house and up the stairs. He opened the door and closed it behind him.

Iroh took one look at him and let out a slow breath. What had happened to his nephew? Iroh had himself just arrived home from the Tea Shop. Zuko's arms looked full, so he helped Zuko out of the cloak. To his surprise, Zuko's arms were full, full with a small child of maybe five years of age. Both were damp from the rain, bruised, and covered in blood. Zuko didn't look like he intended to release the child from his embrace. And she was clinging to Zuko fiercely with her face buried into his neck.

"They killed her mother. I couldn't just leave her there." Zuko stepped out of his soggy shoes while Iroh quickly started tea and dinner... for three. Zuko tried to set the child into the big comfy chair.

"No... nonononono..." she whimpered clinging harder. Tears spilled down her cheeks again.

"This is my uncle. He is very kind and gentle. I am just going to get changed into dry clean clothes." He pointed to his room to show her where he would be." Zuko's voice was soft as he spoke not to frighten the child more. "Uncle, her name is Ty-min." He managed to extricate himself from Ty-min's grasp and go change. What was he going to do? He didn't even think about it when he picked her up and brought her home. He just felt that it was the right thing to do and did it. But, as he pulled on clean dry clothes, now what?

When he walked back into the room, she was sitting in a small ball with her knees pulled up to her chest and staring into nothing with tears still rolling slowly down the clean tracks in her face that the previous tears had made. He sorted through her clothing in the sack and found some things for her to change into for sleeping. She looked... numb. She said nothing and didn't even struggle when he had Iroh help him to get her changed. Iroh had her bathed before redressing her. She was so thin. Zuko watched his uncle. Iroh just seemed to know what to do. Zuko was amazed.

They ate in silence at the table. Zuko had to keep encouraging her to eat. Iroh knew this was a state of shock the child was slipping into and prepared a medicinal tea for her to drink to stave it off and help her sleep easier. Afterwards, Zuko scooped her up in his arms again to put her to bed. She clung to him and cried again into his shoulder. He paced the room a bit soothing her. He dared not speak with the lump developing in his own throat. Finally she had stopped crying and only sniffled some and rubbed her eyes. He set her in his bed. Then he gave her the little dolly and tucked her in. She grabbed his hand in hers and he had a sudden flash memory of the little red-haired girl with the gashes in her face clutching his hand. He sat down.

Tentatively... very tentatively... he pulled out his flute and showed it to her. Her dull pale green eyes looked up at him with the smallest glimmer of hope. He gave her a small smile. She released his hand as he brought the flute to his lips and played the song his mother sang to him at night. He played it softly for her until she was asleep.

Iroh was pleased to hear his nephew play the flute. Music is so important. It is the language of the soul. And the tune Zuko had chosen melted Iroh to the core. His nephew had some gifts and some of his own hard experiences. He could see why Zuko couldn't just leave the child.

Zuko stepped out into the main room to be handed a cup of his favorite tea. "Thank you, uncle."

"So, talk. This looks like something you have not exactly thought through. What happened?" Iroh was not harsh, just serious and ... seriously concerned.

Zuko slowly, with a deep frown, explained everything about Ty-min. "Uncle? What do I do now?"

"Nephew, you must be responsible for your own actions. You will figure something out. For now, she will stay here until you do." Iroh was not really upset, but he really wished Zuko would think about what he was doing. He wished he would just think a few steps ahead sometimes. Just a few. Iroh sighed. "She can't just stay here when we are away. She is too young. Tomorrow you will take her next door and see if ManYee can watch her."

The next day, Zuko brought Ty-min next door. ManYee was more than happy to look after her. After hearing some of what happened to the child, she knew exactly how to handle things. Zuko was relieved. Ty-min clung to him for a bit. He hugged her back and told her he would be back for dinner.

The day was regular routine, although now he started working with the metals. Ken and Fo-ji were helping him with firebending the metal hot as they worked it. With Zuko there doing that, it allowed both twins to be working on blades, as well as some of the more experienced apprentices. And through this, he started learning the names of the metals and the mixtures.

On his way home, Faelin stepped up beside him. "Lee, there is trouble about. I have come to ask you to stay away from this area for a bit."

He stopped. "What? You are now concerned about me?" He snapped sarcastically seeking some place to vent. He was angry... just plain angry at Fong and that got a bit muddled with him being angry with her. _Why should she care? She just left the other kids to die._

She stepped in front of him. "Fine. Get killed. I won't be there to save you like last time. Nor will I be there to with water when you are sick from the violence. I warned you. Stay away for a bit."

Zuko was about to protest with some harsh words when what she said sunk in. It WAS her those times. He opened his mouth to say something and her soft fingers touched his lips. His anger with her suddenly evaporating with her soft touch. The sumo guy was crossing the street in their direction. "Lee, just go. Please." And she turned to meet up with the man. He put a big hand on her shoulder and firmly guided her away from Zuko, giving Zuko a very threatening side-glance. For a moment, Zuko's golden eyes burned with hatred for the man. He did not want to bring trouble to Faelin. Zuko had enough to deal with and he had to get back to Ty-min. _But Fong..._ Zuko growled under his breath. Perhaps he can deal with them after Ty-min is asleep.

He picked up Ty-min from ManYee's and cooked supper for her. She was so quiet and not at all interested in doing anything. She just sat with her dolly in the big chair. He felt awkward. What should he do? He cleaned the house till it met his satisfaction and everything was in its place. The rain outside had stopped. He was about to lose his mind with not knowing what to do when there was a knock at the door.

With great relief, it was ManYee. "I have some clothes I think will fit her. I had sent a message to my daughter this morning for some hand-me-downs. Shall I go see if she likes them?" Zuko smiled at her and let her in. It was one of his rare I-am-so-glad-and-grateful-for-your-existence smiles.

ManYee came in with a large sack of clothing and into Zuko's room she went with Ty-min in tow. Iroh came home shortly after and Zuko handed him some food he had prepared. When ManYee came out with Ty-min is a simple but sturdy green dress, Iroh grinned and thought how much this was feeling like a family. He felt that way even more when Ty-min went right over and took Zuko's hand with her dolly clutched in her other hand. Zuko didn't even think. He just picked her up and sat in the big chair with her. She curled up like a kitten in his lap with his arms protectively around her.

After ManYee had left and Zuko put Ty-min to bed, he gathered his darker clothes and Blue Spirit mask and knife. He was met at the door by Iroh. Zuko clenched his fists. "Let me past, uncle."

"No Zuko. This is not the way. I am not letting you do this. There is a little girl in there and she is your responsibility now. You are staying right here." Zuko was a bit stunned. His uncle had never taken that firm commanding tone with him before. There was no way around it. Iroh was not going to let Zuko out. And that was that. "The situation will be handled, Zuko. But not by you. There are other ways to do things. They are no longer your problem. She is... not that she is a problem. But she is your prime concern now. Don't just leave her."

His uncle's words cut through to him. He sighed and returned to his room to check on Ty-min. He came out to sleep in the chair again this night as last. His uncle brought him tea. "Nephew, ManYee has said that she will see if her daughter can take Ty-min for a little while. It will give Ty-min a sense of family. At least until you can figure something better out for her." _Or feel more ready to be her guardian yourself, _Iroh thought to himself. He knew Zuko was just not quite ready for this father thing, even if his heart was in the right place. Zuko was still too angry and brash. The child needed more stability... especially now.


	11. Chapter 11: MuTan's Obserbations

_**Author's Notes:**_

_This chapter was written with the help of Rob, who goes by the name of CharcoalRav3n on and for whole Mu-Tan is modeled. _

_**Names:**_

_Mu-Tan – Mu was an addition that I used because I liked the film Mulan. Tan is Chinese for Charcoal. (Since the character is modeled after my friend, I felt like honoring him by adding the name in._

_Ty-min - Ty is part of Ty-lee's name and I thought it was cool. Min is often attached for a girl's name._

_Bao Li - Bao means treasure and Li is a common boy's name_

_Ling - means power._

_ManYee - is my sister-in-law's name. Sh'e likely be annoyed that I used her name._

_Shinzui – means mystery, can also mean spirit or spiritual._

_Faelin – It is Gaelic for red, ruddy or rust-colored._

_Amai – the baby's name mean's cute or adorable._

_Kasai Hari – Kasai is one of several words that can mean fire. Hari means glass or crystal._

_Ken and Fo-ji - Ken has many meanings, though I chose it to mean sword. Fo-ji is Japanese for forge._

_Fong – is just a popular name, like Li or Lee._

_**Chapter 10: Mu-Tan's Zuko Observations: Part 1 (Rob: CharcoalRav3n)**_

The boy was rash and foolish in many ways, yet Mu-Tan still recognized the spark within him, that drive that would lead the boy to overcome all odds or die trying. He was raw and in desperate need of molding, a deft touch here and there, a guiding palm and the boy may just be good enough to be considered for the Silver Circle Guard.

Mu-Tan had just dismissed Zuko after setting him three tasks, learn another language, cook a fine elaborate meal without help, and prove skill in a craft or hobby. These were the basic building blocks of becoming a fine man educated in etiquette and able to fit seamlessly into all facets of society. Mu-Tan was also fully aware that these were the lessons of an assassin and he purposely set them so that the young prince would undertake them in that false belief.

He turned and looked at himself in the mirrored walls of the small dojo. He was getting old. He realized that it was as inevitable as the sunset and that it was slowly setting on him. The ancestor's shrine caught his eye and he stared at the painting of his young son taken from him in the prime of his youth. The pang of loss still twisted in him but his face didn't change from its stony mask. All the tears in the world would not bring him back, but if he could change the world, it would not happen to any others.

It was raining again and Mu-Tan let the patter of it help him into meditation. The young prince would go straight home tonight, but tomorrow, tomorrow would show how much dedication he had. Mu-Tan settled himself and centered his thoughts, silence may be golden but to Mu-Tan it is so much more, to him it is home.

An ear splitting crash echoed through the dojo waking Mu-Tan from his meditative state. He scanned the room quickly, an easy task with mirrored walls. Nobody there, he could feel that the gentle rain had escalated into a storm. Another crash and Mu-Tan realized that it was just thunder that had startled him. There was no use for it now, he was awake and his body yearned to stretch and be free. He donned the dark green and brown clothing he used at night and took to the rooftops like a puma-cat. He made his way across the city using his earthbending to secure himself on the slippery earthen tiles. He was in one of the poorer districts when he dropped to ground level.

Using the shadows, he slipped into its hidden depths and watched through a window as Zuko tossed and turned in his sleep. Many a night had Mu-Tan watched as the boy had nightmares giving Mu-Tan the feeling that Zuko was overly sentimental and plagued by past actions. The way he rescued the street urchin suggested many things as well. Was the young prince atoning for something? These were perhaps too many things that members of the Silver Circle Guard could do without. What was that? A movement inside...

Mu-Tan peered into the darkness of another room and was temporarily blinded as a flame flared into life. He turned and ran off into the night using his feet to guide him as he blinked away the spots in his eyes. Smooth well worn cobbles underfoot meant he was entering the market district, he found a small alley that he knew well as it provided good cover and he used it often. As the flame flared briefly in Zuko's house he saw that the Dragon of the West was looking straight at him. Iroh had lit a flame purposely to let Mu-Tan know he was there, was he slipping or was the old dragon's teeth still sharp?

The next day dawned bright and true, the ground was still waterlogged from the night's storm, spreading a carpet of diamond dew across the ground. Mu-Tan dressed in his common clothes and headed off to the market district where he bought some fresh flowers for the shrine. He saw some clothes that were silver and blue in color and considered buying them for Zuko. No he must not get ahead of himself or the boy, only time will reveal his abilities.

Back at his dojo Mu-Tan drilled himself through every kata he knew and fell into the meditative state that came with concentration. By the time he had finished he was sweating and he went out the back of his dojo where there was a spout that came from a water tank that he used to shower. The water was particularly brisk from last night's cold downpour and it sharply brought every nerve to life as he washed. Night was beckoning and he dressed and quickly took to the rooftops. He would watch Zuko through the days starting tomorrow, but for now he was watching the boy at his house where he was most himself. No social barriers and no walls...

Tonight Zuko was preparing a meal for three as Mu-Tan observed the old lady from next door was invited in. So he had taken the necessary steps to learn to cook a meal. This was encouraging. Civilization began when we started cooking food over a fire and refrained from eating it wild. The real surprise of the night came when the boy, who would be Firelord was handed a baby. Although awkward at first, he cradled the child as though it were his own. Mu-Tan shook his head, this boy was full of so many contradictions he couldn't quite work out who he was. Was he capable of what he hoped?

The next few days went by fairly uneventfully with Zuko trying his hand at masonry, and woodworking, even jewelry-making and then glassblowing... and failing. Kasai Hari, that old Fire Nation refugee, told Zuko of the twins that owned the forge and their need for a firebender. Another failure but once again Mu-Tan could see the drive that forced this young boy onwards. Zuko had also tried his hand at Pai Sho and Mu-Tan was not surprised to see the boy failing at that as well. But Zuko had picked up playing the flute and seemed to have a knack for it. Music is food for the soul, but it is also a language in and of itself.

Mu-Tan's frustration at the boy's failures turned to surprise as he saw that the prince would not be deterred. No matter how many mistakes, no matter how many times he failed to grasp something, the boy stood up dusted himself off and tried again. What was it that drove this young man with such fury to carry on? Despite himself Mu-Tan started appreciating the boy as more than a potential apprentice... and more as... a son.

Lately during his spare time, Zuko was mostly to be found in the run down warehouse district that had been recommissioned by the government for housing. Mu-Tan slipped into the damp basement that Zuko always haunted and leaned against the earthen wall. Slowly the wall engulfed the man until only his eyes were visible. True to his name though, Mu-Tan's eyes were as black as charcoal and impossible to spot on the wall's dark surface. Zuko entered the basement and Mu-Tan watched in utter horror as the boy started practicing his firebending. He would risk it all for this?

Just as he was about to reveal himself and reprimand the prince he was entranced by the flame's dance. The last time he had seen a firebender doing these moves so precisely was back during the six hundred day siege. His grim memories were cut short by a shout...

"I must not let that happen. I must remember what my destiny is and keep my focus. I must never forget who I am. I am Zuko, son of Ursa and Ozai and heir to the Fire Nation!" Zuko yelled to himself as a wreath of flames leapt up around him. Silent tears ran down the boys cheeks as he clenched his fists so hard that a trickle of scarlet blood appeared between his fingers. He quieted himself and started the exercises again. Mu-Tan slipped backwards through the wall and out into the cool air.

The words 'Son of Ozai' rung through Mu-Tans ears as he headed home. His original plans for the boy were to have him on the side of the Silver Circle Guards so that when the Avatar completes his destiny and destroys that power-mad Firelord, they would seat one of their own on the throne. The war would end once and for all and the rebuilding of the White Lotus Temples and eventually the resurrection of the Silver Circle Guards could commence. The life of an assassin for hire, a mere mercenary was not one for him and he grew tired. Now, however, Mu-Tan's feelings for Zuko were changing. In that boy he saw strength and a flame that could not be bent to anyone's purpose. He harbors such strength from an inner moral code and set of ethics that Mu-Tan wondered who set them in the boy. Emotions warred inside Mu-Tan and he found himself savoring the turmoil. It had been so long since he had felt... anything...

The next day, Mu-Tan dressed in his finest clothes and set off to the markets where he had seen Zuko heading. Walking amongst the others in their finery Mu-Tan blended in to perfection, sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight. He followed the boy as he fingered several scrolls and books on forging or flute music. The boy was indeed industrious and in his spare time was still training.

Mu-Tan deftly stepped sideways as a girl fled past him from a merchant that was calling her a thief. It was that little girl again, Ty-Min was her name and Mu-Tan had found no bond or link to Zuko in either of their pasts. She was hiding behind Zuko as the merchant ranted and raved over a stolen peach. What's this? Zuko had an imperious air about him and was deceiving the man with an impeccable choice of words. Had some level of etiquette rubbed off on the boy?

Mu-Tan left the prince and headed back home. Out of all the things he had seen this simple deception to gain what he desired, and in public no less, was the most heartening. There was hope for the boy. Mu-Tan passed a restaurant that he liked to frequent when he had time. He decided to go in and have a celebratory dinner of sorts. He ordered the most expensive meal on the menu which consisted of a cut of Sabertooth Moose-lion so tender it melted in his mouth. It was garnished with Fire-lilies, a plant that only grows in the Fire Kingdom and is all but unknown outside it. Such decadence was not par for the course for Mu-Tan but he felt today was a turning point in the prince's growth.

The next night however did not please Mu-Tan as much. Zuko had cornered a cloaked woman and seemed to be threatening her. This did not impress Mu-Tan at all. What was his reasoning? There were other ways to sate ones lust. Mu-Tan was almost happy when the lady kneed Zuko in the groin. As Zuko limped off, Mu-Tan walked over to the cloaked woman and pushed her into an alleyway from behind. He told her not to turn around or he would kill her.

"What do you want with me?" She asked.

"Who are you?" Mu-Tan's voice was neutral and lifeless.

"My name is Faelin. Please I have nothing of value. The box I carry only contains lanterns."

"That boy you were just talking to, what is he to you?" Mu-Tan was struck not verbally but physically as Faelin slammed her head backwards in the hope of breaking her captor's nose. Mu-Tan was too quick and all she managed to do was throw her hood off her head and release her vibrant red hair. The violent shock of crimson hair is enough to throw anybody off but what really caught Mu-Tan's eye was the dark honey brown tattoo that made its way down her neck in intricate coils.

She was a priestess of the White Lotus! He quickly let go of her and leapt to the rooftops where he made a hasty retreat to his house. What was going on? How did Zuko know a priestess of the Order? This didn't make sense and Mu-Tan hated not knowing every facet of everything, especially in the area in which HE lived. This would have to wait until the next evening; meditation was required to still his mind.

The following evening, Mu-Tan watched as Zuko took yet another group of people under his wing and organized some squatters into fixing the ramshackle warehouse they lived in. So many responsibilities, Mu-Tan preferred there to be no attachments. Zuko was heading home when Mu-Tan saw that the little girl, Ty-Min, was running toward Zuko. He picked her up and headed toward her house. Zuko placed the girl on the ground and headed inside the house drawing his blade. After a short time Zuko walked out of the house holding the girl and a small bag. Mu-Tan dropped to the street and cautiously entered the house after Zuko was gone down the street a ways.

Before he had even crossed the doorway he smelled the blood and knew what awaited him. There on the floor was the mother of the urchin child. Her hair matted in the pool of blood she was laying in. He walked over to the body and arranged it in a more dignified manner, then found a sheet nearby that he covered her with. He would pay for her funeral tomorrow. What was Zuko getting himself into? The boy was an enigma to Mu-Tan and one that constantly fascinated him.

This new turn of events needed more observation. He watched Zuko at the house with the little girl. The Dragon was always so close that he dared not be seen again. Their last meeting was one of tragedy. Mu-Tan was not sure what the current sentiments were. And again, Mu-Tan was rewarded with seeing how Zuko handled himself around a child. Yet, at the same time, Zuko was creating responsibilities for himself. Mu-Tan then thought, _this might actually be a good thing. If this prince did make it to the throne, he would have a strong desire to care for his people and see them grow, but not in the way that Ozai and previous Firelords have. This indeed could be a good thing. _Upon hearing the flute come to life within the walls, it became apparent where Zuko's morals were coming from. That was a lullaby that a mother usually sings to her child. So Zuko retained something of value from his mother, coupled with the guidance of the Dragon of the West.

The next night was much the same as the previous. Yet Mu-tan spied that the Blue Spirit was going to come out. So, the anger over what has happened to Ty-min has come to boil. This could go very well for Zuko or vary badly. Fong is a very large and powerful gang. Even the Dai Li was sometimes concerned. But then, Fong was sometimes on the Dai Li's payroll.

He was about to vanish into the night to be sure he brought Zuko home alive or hopefully even stop him from this foolish course when he heard the Dragon's voice speak very firmly to the prince.

"No Zuko. This is not the way. I am not letting you do this. There is a little girl in there and she is your responsibility now. You are staying right here." There was no way around it. The Dragon of the West was not going to let Zuko out. And that was that. "The situation will be handled, Zuko. But not by you. There are other ways to do things. They are no longer your problem. She is... not that she is a problem. But she is your prime concern now. Don't just leave her."

Once Zuko was settled in the chair to sleep, the Dragon of the West stepped outside to tend to some of the small potted plants there. Mu-Tan started to melt into the shadows when he heard the Dragon speak. "It is my day off tomorrow. I will make tea and play Pai Sho... if you will join me." He looked right at Mu-Tan. _Nothing escaped this man, he was truly as his name... a dragon... an old and sometime grouchy one it seemed by the serious tone in his voice._

Mu-Tan stepped into view and bowed to Iroh, then disappeared again into the shadows. _Indeed. It was time to talk._ Time to take Zuko in and start his training... especially now that there was a priestess alive... and here in the city. That still irritated Mu-Tan. He had seen the girl for several years around here. And never did she show any indication that she was either White Lotus or a priestess. Not even his White Lotus informants here in the city knew. She would seriously need a guard, and not an old one. This was definitely something to consider. So now, Zuko's training became Mu-Tan's priority. He will address it right after he is done teaching a class on basic forms in his dojo to some noble sons from the Upper Ring.


	12. Chapter 12: Challenges

_Author's Notes:_

_The latter parts of this chapter are written with Rob/CharcoalRav3n's assistance._

**_Chapter 12: Challenges_**

So while Zuko was off at the Forge struggling with metal sword bits and trying to remember the names of tools and now how they were used and why, Iroh was visiting with ManYee. He brought Ty-min with him dressed in one of her pretty new dresses. She still clutched her dolly and cried for no reason sometimes. But now she had someone to play with. ManYee's daughter was over with the brood and husband. Her daughter that was close to Ty-min's age was very easy to get along with and the two were soon off playing as little girls would. The adults discussed Ty-min's situation for a while. It was then agreed that ManYee's daughter would take Ty-min in, but only until the new baby was born. She already had her hands full, but Ty-min and her own little six year old girl were close enough in age to keep each other company. Iroh said that Ty-min could go over to stay with them in a few days. He didn't think it would be good for Zuko if Zuko came home that day to find Ty-min gone without a goodbye.

With that settled and lunch finished, Iroh left Ty-min there to keep playing. He went home to set up the table in the main room for a game of Pai Sho. He also pulled out his very best tea, Dragon Tears. This was the finest Jasmine tea in all the land and he was able to buy some on one of the Tea Shop trips to the Middle Ring Eastern Market Square. Then he waited. He had seen Mu-Tan many nights ago. He had let him know that Zuko was protected and that he was not going to let Mu-Tan one inch closer to assassinating this relative. He didn't know Mu-Tan's intentions. He wanted to know. That was why he made sure Mu-Tan was directly invited for tea. It had been a long time since they last saw each other over the dead bodies of their sons. _So, why WAS Mu-Tan stalking Zuko?_ He didn't want to have to fight Mu-Tan to protect Zuko, but will if necessary. Zuko was like a son to him and he had no intention of losing this one.

Iroh wondered how much of the new life he had built here in Ba Sing Se he was willing to risk to protect Zuko. _Everything. Yes... everything_. Zuko was more than everything to him. Mu-Tan's intentions had BETTER be noble or he will discover just how sharp the teeth and claws still are on this old Dragon of the West.

Meanwhile, Zuko was handling the teashop on his own. He was glad that Ty-min was with his uncle. Uncle Iroh was always really good with kids. ManYee was too. _Maybe... Maybe it would not be so bad if his uncle and ManYee..._ Zuko shook his head. Ty-min looked more like a cute little girl in dresses. He decided to see if he could find something for her on the way home. _Maybe I can find some cute dresses for her dolly. AACCKK! What am I thinking?!?!_ He would never be able to live it down if someone saw him buying dolly dresses. He accepted the money for the last tea he had to serve that day. The Tea Shop owner's wife was there to take over for him. Zuko was also glad that this was finally a day of sun. It was due to rain again in a few days, but a day or two of sun was so needed, especially for someone who practically thrived on it and diminished without it.

He had a lot on his mind. Ty-min would be in good hands while he took the evening to think. He promised his uncle this morning that he would not get involved with the Fong Gang. It was a haunting name. He remembered someone else named Fong, a Fire Nation general. _Why was it that so many of the powerful Fire Nation people that his father had in powerful positions seemed so..._ as his uncle would put it... _crazy? Brutal and crazy._ Sometimes, more so lately, Zuko disagreed more and more with this war. _And Fong, the gang, what can be done about them? They can't just be left to be bullies in a neighborhood of civilians. They were no better than the bullies in that desert village. What? Were they just going to get away with murder? That is what is was. How often have they gotten away with it?_

And then there was Faelin. Shinzui. Why did she knee him? Why was most of the spirit in her just gone? Why was she afraid of him and yet not. He would not have hurt her. Even a small touch, even a gentle attempt at one seemed to frighten her. He remembered how he tried to ever so gently touch the bruise on her face and she turned away, keeping his hand always just out of reach. What happened to her? Why was she like this? Why was she here? What were the promises she made that locked her in so many secret chains. He was still very annoyed with her, almost angry that she left those children. What happened? Why did she leave them? Why wouldn't she tell him? And why oh why was she in one of those red lantern houses?!?!

And then there was Ty-min. What was he going to do about her? He can't just keep her. She was not a stray cat to bring home. Yet, that is kind of what he had done. He hoped that ManYee's daughter would be open to caring for Ty-min, at least until he could think of a better solution. She needed a real home and a real family. Zuko felt he could not provide that for her. Not at this time, not while he was nothing and nobody to the world... except maybe a bounty with a very high price on his head. That was a problem too. He did not want to have a child in the middle of that either.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he never saw Faelin walking beside him in perfect silence. She kept pace with him while she carried a sack of sewing supplies. It wasn't till she turned her head and her red hair glinted like flames in the setting sun as a lock escaped her hood that Zuko stopped in mid-stride and looked at her almost in surprise. She just gave him a small smile. "You seem to be doing better now. I am glad I didn't hurt you too badly." She smirked a little.

Zuko was annoyed all over again, "Why must you torment me?"

She considered his questions before answering, "I am not tormenting you. You do that just fine on your own."

He wanted to throw his arms in the air and scream at her. But what would that accomplish? At best, he would end up humiliating himself in public. At worst, she would knee him in the groin again. She stopped at a ceramic shop and walked in. He stood and waited for her to come out. _Why am I waiting here,_ he cursed at himself. _Oh yeah... this was an opportunity to ask some questions perhaps... and perhaps get some answers._

The shop keeper brought out a box full of ceramic plates and bowls. "This isn't what I am supposed to pick up," she told him.

The shop keeper pointed to the invoice paper on the box. "I had received a second request to add to the original order. So this is the entire order as requested."

Faelin took a deep breath. "I can't carry this."

The shop keeper was not interested in her answer. "Well, you can't leave it there. It is not my problem. I am not responsible for pick up and delivery."

Zuko watched from the street as the exchange took place. He couldn't really hear it all clearly, but what he did hear made him want to give the man a piece of his mind. Faelin placed her sack of sewing supplied on top of the box. He stormed in as Faelin was attempting to lift the heavy box without any assistance. How extremely rude of that craftsman. She almost dropped the box when he caught it and took it from her. "I'll carry it. Some men have no respect," he said loud enough to turn the head of both the staff and the other clients in the shop. She tugged her hood back over her hair, hung her head and walked out behind Zuko.

He scowled and brooded for a few minutes of walking before he felt he could speak again. "Why do you do that, Faelin? Why do you let them be like that?"

"It's complicated, Lee."

"Why ... why do you hang you head? Why do you hide it? You have beautiful hair, you shouldn't hide it." His cheeks burned a bit as his mouth seemed to take on a life of its own and betray him.

"I have to." She stayed quiet after that for several long minutes.

"But why? Why do you have to?" They had stopped at the door he had stepped out of that night he was sucked through the wall.

"Set it down here please. And... thank you. It was sweet of you to stick up for me and carry the box all this way. It was so heavy."

Zuko just shrugged. He didn't think it was heavy. "What do you do here?" Again his mouth was betraying him. Why ask a question if you didn't want to know the answer? He was afraid of what that answer might be.

"I work here," was all she said before she walked in, closing the door behind her.

Zuko just stood there. Should he wait for her to come out? He mentally reviewed their conversation and realized that she deftly dodged all his questions. Standing there he started to feel stupid. Was she coming back out? He stepped closer to the door to maybe knock. Then he heard voices inside and decided to listen instead.

"There you are! What took you so long?! You know you have to be back before sunset. It is past sunset! Get out there and get things ready. And then..." A door slammed and all was quiet. He never got to hear what the rest of the reprimand or command was. It had trailed off.

Zuko clenched his fists. He did however have new information. So, she could be out and about as long as she was back before sunset. He wondered if he could meet up with her again tomorrow after work. He walked back home with that thought. Then he remembered Ty-min. He couldn't just abandon her every night. Who would look after her?! As he turned a corner about to leave the forbidden district, he was suddenly faced by three men with short blades, as though they were waiting for just him to turn down just that corner. He realized his mistake of maintaining a predictable regular route. The men advanced. Zuko turned to back out of the narrow street. But two more men appeared to block the way. He was trapped.

-----

Faelin had pulled the box into the storage room and closed the door. She leaned against the wall by the door, her heart beating hard and a lump in her throat. He had asked so many questions. And, she wanted to answer them, she did. She would have come back out to tell him when and where she would meet him tomorrow, but she was called to work. The house manager was furious with her tardiness. She had rushed about to do what she needed to do and managed to get out of the way before anyone could decide where they wanted her working again. If everything was handled and she stayed out of sight, well... then she was out of sight, out of mind. She needed to stay that way, for her own sanity and safety.

As soon as she had a breather, she barricaded herself in her small room. It had one window with no glass but did have shutters on the inside and outside, which she made sure were locked. The door to the hall was closed. She wished it had a lock, but at least no one usually came in. The floor had piles of clothing and lingerie for washing and repairs. Her bed mat was in the middle of the room. There was a second door that led to the storage room so she can get supplies if she needed. There was a double wash basin in the corner for the laundry and sturdy lines all across the ceiling for hanging the laundry on. She flopped on the bed mat and wrapped her arms around the makeshift pillow, burying her hands under it and her face in it to quiet her crying.

She had been committed to this choice for so long that she had forgotten who and what she was. She had not done any bending, any ritual, any meditations, any chanting... absolutely nothing as promised, that would indicate she was a priestess of any kind over the last three to four years. She made no contact with anyone for the most part and certainly no one of the White Lotus there in the city. She knew of Mu-Tan and the Silver Circle Guards. In the early days, she had considered asking them for their help. But then she has heard that they were nothing more now than members of the assassin's guild, mercenaries for hire. Revealing herself could cost her her life and compromise the lives of the four remaining temple children she managed to get into safety. Their safety was her responsibility.

And then, HE came along. She had spotted him in the Craftsmen's District with a young woman that looked like his girlfriend. So the rumors had been true. Zuko was not just the exiled prince; he was a deposed heir, banished from his home and considered a wanted criminal and traitor, wanted dead or alive for a high bounty. He was here in Ba Sing Se, just another refugee. That meant that the Dragon of the West must be with him. Zuko's uncle would never let his beloved nephew out of sight or to any further harm. He had told her as much once long ago over a cup of tea on a ship. That day that she first saw him, brought a flood of memories back to her. She wanted to get close to him. She wanted to know who he was, what kind of person he had become. He looked so different with the young woman on his arm that day. Softer, gentler, awkward and like anyone else his age with a girlfriend. He did not look like the hard military leader she once knew who was sometimes boyish enough to tease her when no one was looking. What did he used to call her? _Oh ya... Shinzui... a mysterious spirit,_ especially when she confused him. He was an enigma to her as well. Always with such a hard shell and so many masks to hide his pain, and yet, the boy she had learned about peaked through once in a while. Ursa had told Faelin of her son, Zuko, and that if she ever needed protection in the Fire Nation that her son was brave and honorable and would ensure her safety. He sounded like a great dragon, a great protector.

Now he was here, just another refugee. She had dared to even do a little bending to sense where his spirit would be only to discover it on the other side of the storage room wall about to be killed by the spirit of Mu-Tan. Without thinking of the consequences, she took a deep breath and hurried to the next room as the tattoos all over her body came to life. She passed into the spirit world and reached for Zuko on the outside of the wall. Before the killing blow could come, she had pulled him through the wall. The effort made her dizzy. She had not done anything with her bending gifts in so long. It was dark and he was brash and angry. She had told him how to get out and slipped back into her room where she had lost consciousness as he closed the door to the outside.

She had horrible nightmares again that night of the spirits of the dead children she could never get back to. The nightmares coupled with other horrible experience she had made for a terrible night... and many others to follow. But her interest in Zuko grew. He was a small connection stirring the fire to life again inside her, sparking her memories. His very presence helped her to remember who she was. She snuck out to seek him out. It was a huge risk. She found the Blue Spirit instead, like the other night. So now she was certain that the two were the same. Zuko was the Blue Spirit, hiding behind yet another mask. She witnessed him take the life of a man to protect a small child. It stunned her. It stunned her more to see him bolt and collapse to vomit like it was his first kill. The energy, ch'i around him told her clearly that it was. She hoped that every kill would make him sick. It will mean he is still human. He was so in shock that he never noticed her. She breathed and reached and bent the energy in him to soothe him. She brought out her cool mint water to help soothe his heaving stomach. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold him. But she dared not. That was... getting too close.

Their other path crossings were a mix of amusement and memories. She enjoyed watching him squirm and she enjoyed watching him try to sort life out. He was such a mix and turmoil of emotions and experiences of his own. It was almost a game to pass him and remain somewhat unseen. She wanted to see him puzzle out who she was. Would he remember her? Would he hate her? Would he still have some friendship for her? Were they actually friends? She guessed she was as close to a friend then to him as he would ever have. Did he resent that she was gone so suddenly? She was wondering these things when she spotted him light up the lanterns at the Fountain of Lights. The scene was incredible. She had never really been this far and was so grateful for the late night errand. That scene was breath-taking. She wanted to step right out and be part of it. She ached to. But she had to get back. She was just a couple blocks away when she heard the flute playing. She had smiled as he stumbled through the notes a bit and found the tune he was most comfortable with. The music. Oh the music. She just could not help it. She looked around to see if anyone was there and then let the song come up from her soul. It was wonderful. It was wonderful until the large meat sack of a hand hit her hard enough to split her lip and make her spit blood. He had then grabbed her by the hair roughly and warned her that if she dared do that again, that the silver-smith would be called in to silence her. For a moment, she thought he would kill her there. So Zuko might never hear her sing again, the spirits would never hear her sing again. Singing that night reminded her how much she loved it... how much she missed it... and how much her soul needed it. She was dragged back home.

She had then spotted him by the glassblower's for the tenth time. She wondered why he didn't just go in. So she decided to tell him so. She smirked, even though it ached through the bruises. He made her happy, even if it was through small teasings.

She buried her face in her pillow more and tried the scrub the tears away. She was beginning to really like him. She even remembered when he corned her. It did not dawn on her who he was, she was so frightened. He was badgering her for information or something, trying to figure out who she was. She was so scared he would... be like the others. She didn't realize it was Zuko, not even when the chance came and she kneed him her hardest in the groin. He wheezed out the name Shinzui and it rushed back with force. She was then a mix of shock, feeling bad about hurting him and angry that he touched her and frightened her. She had stormed off to only be assaulted again! This time by someone else. This time, by Mu-Tan. Her blood went cold when she knew he saw the tattoos on her neck. But he just vanished over the rooftops, leaving her shaking and confused. She then returned to Zuko and helped him home.

He had so many questions for her, questions she could not answer for him. She dared not. But he would not let up. She did not realize how far he lived. She was not really allowed this far. It made her nervous to be there without permission. The bouncer might be following. She had no idea what he would do her if he saw her with this young man. She ran off as soon as he was safely home and she was sure he was ok. She especially didn't want Iroh to see her. He is too perceptive. He might see through her secrets. And, she was ashamed of them.

Today, was one of the most wonderful days she had had in a long time. She spotted him walking through the Craftsmen's District. He was so deeply lost in thoughts that seemed to trouble him, that she felt he needed company. She walked beside him for several blocks before he realized she was there. Poor guy. She kept reminding herself to call him Lee. Poor Lee. She wished she could soothe it all away. But then he started with his questions again. They stopped at the ceramic shop. She needed to pick stuff up there. She hated coming in there. The man at the counter always treated her like she was less than human. She could say nothing to defend herself or she would be in trouble and the bouncer would deal with her. Zuko stormed in like a dragon to her rescue. She was so ashamed that he witnessed it all. He asked her about it and why this and why that. She was too ashamed to answer. What if Zuko found out? What would he think of her? She dodged them as best she could.

When she finally arrived at the back of the Red Lantern House, she prayed that Zuko would not go around and realize where she worked. She could only imagine what he would think. She wanted to step out the door and tell him, tell him she would meet him tomorrow, hope he would not make the connections. But, she was dragged away. She was a mix of wanting him there to protect her, to keep her company, and of wanting him to stay away and out of the district. She didn't want the bouncer to hurt Zuko. She did not want to get hurt because of Zuko's presence. _Why did things have to be so complicated?!_ Why did he have to spark her to remember who she was? She was numb before. She didn't care what happened to her before. She didn't want anything before. What were the gods planning?

_Oh Zuko,_ she thought. _Who are you? What do you plan to do? Why are you back here in my life?_ She buried her face again into the pillow. This was going to be a bad night.

-----

As he turned a corner about to leave the forbidden district, he was suddenly faced by three men with short blades, as though they were waiting for just him to turn down just that corner. He realized his mistake of maintaining a predictable regular route. The men advanced. Zuko turned to back out of the narrow street. But two more men appeared to block the way. He was trapped.

Zuko looked up. _DAMN!_ The buildings here were too tall and not enough footholds to make it to the roof fast enough to get away. Zuko's hand went to his knife. His knife?! Where was it? A moment of frantic panic crossed his mind as he realized he left it at the forge to be cleaned up by Ken. How stupid could he have been? How foolish?! This panic did not cross his face. That he had well schooled into a scowling mask. Strict martial arts it was going to be. The five advancing men all had knives... and they looked like they intended to kill. They looked like they had killed before and lost their humanity. Killing again would not affect them. Zuko reminded himself not to do any firebending. Not here. He prayed it would not come to that.

He took the time of the first few exchanges of blows to just dodge and size up his opponents. He had fought groups before. The desert bullies were not much of a match, being the last group he had fought. This would give him good practice and a chance to beat on some of Fong's men. If his uncle asks, he didn't invite this fight. He did not start it, but he intended to finish it.

They didn't have his training or skill. However, they were determined and unpredictable. One was a big guy with far more brute strength than Zuko could handle. He had to make sure he stayed out of that one's reach. Dodging was not his best skill. Shaolin and Mantis arts were all about attack. So in dodging one man, he struck out to clip another. As he turned, a third man's elbow smashed into his face. Pain and blood splashed his nose as he saw stars. Then the big guy struck a punch and Zuko hit the ground face first. Spitting blood and shaking his head, Zuko gulped for air. He swung a fast leg out catching one guy who landed hard on the ground. A knife skittered across the cobblestones into Zuko's reach. _Excellent!_ His fingers curled around it and he leapt to his feet and slammed his palm into the chest of another man. He ducked as the big man got close. A man grappled him from behind. He bounced on his feet a bit to offset the balance then powerfully flipped over the man's head and the man hit the ground winded. Zuko snatched his knife too.

Now Zuko held two knives like he would his Fire Daggers. He struck fast and furiously. He gained some fresh cuts and gave a good deal of them. He gashed one man across the face with his right blade, but got his elbow hit by another guy and the knife was lost. He leapt up and landed with a swirl imbedding the second knife into the stomach of another guy. He didn't get to pull it free. The big guy rammed him like a charging bull into the stone wall. Zuko lost his breath and felt a rib crack. Pinned, he got a knee to the stomach a few times. He couldn't catch his breath. He needed a distraction. Another blow to the face and he saw stars again. _Gods... where is that distraction?_

No distraction was coming. He could barely keep the blows from doing serious damage. He was grateful his uncle had taught him how to take a blow. Otherwise all his ribs would be broken by now and he would be bleeding internally to death.

"Hey! He's gonna bleed to death! We need to get him back to Fong!" One guy was yelling about the guy Zuko had knifed in the gut.

There a pause in the pummeling he was getting. It wasn't much of a distraction, but it was enough to get a breath. He twisted in the big guy's grip and struck with talon form for the man's eyes. By instinct the big guy backed up a step leaning back and bringing up his arm to protect his eyes. This opened him up for Zuko's second blow, a Force Punch to the groin. The big man started to double over from the pain. As he leaned again forward, Zuko struck like a snake with stiff fingers to the man's throat, crushing his windpipe. The big man dropped. Zuko gulped air painfully. The others backed off or ran.

Zuko stumbled homeward.

-----

Mu-Tan stood in the street clutching the written invite in his hand. Written in an old beautiful script it could only have come from Iroh himself. SO the old man finally wanted a meeting, probably to warn him away from the young prince. A fight was the last thing that Mu-Tan wanted as he was not sure of his opponent's abilities. He made sure he only ever fought when he knew the outcome would be his victory. Such confidence would be his undoing with a man like the Dragon of the West.

_The rain fell spattering the Great Wall with the very earth Mu-Tan was trying to protect. The siege had lasted close to six hundred days now and the Fire Nation had finally made their way through. Such blasphemy and desecration of The Wall would not be tolerated and Mu-Tan had re-routed the fourteenth battalion reserves to provide backup. The Silver Circle Guard had already lost so many now and he rued the fact that they had to serve in the military. His primary job was to guard the Temple and the priests and priestesses within, not this duty. However, those were now gone and all he had left was this land and these people to protect, the sacred ground on which stood the last remnants of sacredness, a tree on a sad little hill where his wife last prayed to the spirits while pregnant with their son. The Earth Kingdom was worn down with all available troops either fighting here or on the Eastern harbors where the Fire Nation had a second pronged attack in progress._

As Mu-Tan walked up to the door it opened before he even had the chance to knock. Iroh stood before him in his green clothes that didn't suit him one bit. Iroh inclined his head the slightest degree to which Mu-Tan did the same. The old man beckoned for Mu-Tan to come in and he closed the door behind him. Mu-Tan felt as though a noose had just been slipped over his neck.

Iroh extended an arm toward the table next to the window that had a Pai Sho board set up on it. Mu-Tan sat down at it and noticed that the bonsai trees on the window sill were meticulously trimmed. A steady hand and a sharp eye were needed to achieve such symmetry and perfection. It would seem some of the old generals faculties were still in working order. Iroh handed Mu-Tan a clay cup full of a deliciously fragrant brew. Mu-Tan looked at Iroh and saw nothing but an unreadable facade.

"You will join me in a game of Pai Sho General Mu-Tan?" Iroh's voice suggested less of a question and more of a command.

Mu-Tan merely picked up his pieces and took the first go as was the custom. He opened with a tentative gambit that left his pieces open. Iroh however hid behind no pretence and set up a Scorpion Tail maneuver. Mu-Tan was surprised at the ferocity of this opening move and retaliated with the powerful defensive Swallows Dive.

Iroh looked at Mu-Tan. "I compliment you on your setting up the Swallows Tail as it is a good defensive stance. But if you are always protecting you have no chance to strike."

"Overly aggressive moves will lead to an early demise as your resources grow thin." Mu-Tan matched Iroh's stare.

"This is true if you push forth with reckless abandon." Iroh sipped at his tea. "But we know each other well enough to know this will not be a game either can finish satisfactorily."

Mu-Tan: "Then why begin?"

"To read your demeanor." Iroh placed a piece on the board. "You started by testing, seeing what I would do. You have not come here with intent to fight, unless I am mistaken."

Mu-Tan chuckled "To kill a man who has invited me to tea in his own home would be dishonorable."

"I said fight, I did not say you could kill me." Iroh heated his tea with a short burst of flame. "You wish to know why I have asked you here?"

Mu-Tan: "The boy."

"Yes." Iroh let out a calming sigh. "You know that Lee is the exiled Prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko. You know he is the Blue Spirit. Do you want to collect the bounty? Have you fallen so low as to be a mercenary for hire?"

"If I have fallen, your country, your brother, have been the master of my demise." As Mu-Tan said this dust fell from the rafter. "I do not collect on those who do not deserve that fate."

Iroh: "You are not harboring anger at me for losing your…"

"You will not mention my child and I will not mention yours." Mu-Tan interrupted. "They are laid to rest and their memories honored. To discuss them in anger is to dig up the bones of the past."

"This is true. Why then do you have such an interest in the boy I love as if he were my own?"

Mu-Tan let his face unknot itself a bit. "I see promise in the boy and want to take him under my wing. I would teach him martial arts from the four lands and instill in him the peace he needs."

"His heart is troubled, this is true, much pain haunts him." Iroh hardened his gaze. "But understand when I say that I will not see him hurt again."

Mu-Tan picked up his cup and sipped the sweet smelling drink. It was a warm concoction that coated his tongue in a delicate nectar sweetness that delighted his palate. Iroh truly was a master of tea making and Mu-Tan could see why he found work so quickly. "The boy is old enough to make his own decisions, I do not see why..."

With a lightning quick move Iroh had knocked the table over and grabbed Mu-Tan by his throat. Mu-Tan was taken by surprise and had not found his feet as Iroh pushed him against the far wall. With Mu-Tan's back to the wall and Iroh's left hand clasped tightly around his throat, Iroh raised his right hand. A bright ball of flaming yellow and red burst into life around his hand as Iroh looked Mu-Tan in the eye.

"I will NOT see him hurt again." Iroh's voice was as cold as the grave and as fierce as a tempest.

Mu-Tan returned his gaze. "Make sure you strike true old dragon, if you do not the gods might not be so forgiving."

Iroh thought about this for a brief moment before looking up. The earthen roof had been twisted and shaped so that it formed a giant spike above Iroh's head. Mu-Tan knew that the firebender could kill him but he also knew that he could bring that spike down with the force necessary to skewer. The two men stood there in a locked battle of wills as Fire erupted all around them and the very ground shook with rage.

Suddenly the door opened and ManYee hobbled in holding a baby and looking down at it as it gurgled softly. Instantly the two men stopped their fight and stood side by side.

"Hello Mushi, oh I see you have a friend over." ManYee smiled at the both of them. "How nice, don't mean to interrupt just wanted to get some sugar and you said I could always come over anytime. I am thinking you may regret saying that." The old lady laughed to herself. She started walking to the kitchen when she noticed the table on its side and the Pai Sho pieces scattered about. "Quite a game."

Iroh straightened his clothes. "Yes my friend here..."

"Rai." Mu-Tan offered.

"Rai and I were just playing a nice game when those earth tremors struck."

"Yes, earth tremors..." Mu-Tan agreed hurriedly.

ManYee was busy helping herself to some sugar as the baby slept soundly. "I felt those tremors, how odd. There used to be many earthquakes here in Ba Sing Se once but the king of the time got together a large party of Master Earthbenders and they fixed all those fault lines." As ManYee spoke, the two men awkwardly picked the table up and rearranged the Pai Sho board. "Felt kind of like a powerful bender moving the ground if you ask me. I would know because my late husband was an Earthbender. So handsome he was in his military uniform, I was afraid the other ladies would try to steal him away. He died during the siege of Ba Sing Se. You remind me a lot of him Mushi, kind gentle but strong."

"Stop… You embarrass me," said Iroh waving his hand and tipping his head with a silly but uniquely coy Iroh smile.

"No it is true, you do. I would have liked you two to have met. You and he would have got along like a house on fire."

Mu-Tan spoke up. "War is hectic dear lady, perhaps in all that chaos your husband and Mushi did indeed meet. But as you say if they had met then they would surely have sparked a flame."

"Take a seat Rai." Once again Iroh's voice was more of a command then a request. "We shall finish our game to a conclusion this time."

Mu-Tan sat down and arranged his pieces. This time both men attacked each other mercilessly on the Pai Sho board neither letting up on the other, no quarter given. Just as things were getting extremely heated again ManYee interrupted once more.

"I am off now Mushi, nice to meet you Rai." She gave the men a little bow that was returned by both of them. "I have some sweet cakes that I made for you and Lee, Mushi. Ty-min is having so much fun baking with me. I will bring them over as soon as I can. You never know when I might pop back in. A few minutes or an hour." She left them with a sweet smile and closed the door behind her.

"There is more to that woman than meets the eye." Mu-Tan observed.

"As with all women." Iroh agreed. "If you really wish Zuko well then we are both working toward the same goal. However, there is a thorn that sticks in my side, what do you know about this gang of thugs? This group of cowards masquerading as men?"

"You refer to the Fong gang?" Mu-Tan sighed. "They were a small time crew of pickpockets and muggers until they were united by Yashin Fong, a name you should know well."

"Indeed..." Iroh recalled the manic General in the Fire Nation army with the cold eyes. But this man, Yashin, was an exiled cousin of his and equally evil and black to the core. So now Iroh knew where the viper had slithered to when he was exiled.

"He arranged them into a tight knit unit that eventually had ties with the Dai Li. With the Dai Li's reputation and Fong's brutality, they rose to power in the Lower Ring. While not good enough to be considered a serious power, they do have enough members to be a threat." Mu-Tan looked away from the board and at Iroh. "The prince could have chosen better enemies to make."

Iroh: "Then you know of the girl and her mother that was murdered?"

Mu-Tan: "I do."

"Do you plan on doing anything about it?" Iroh asked.

Mu-Tan: "I am but one man General, you would have me take down Fong?"

"Just as I thought." Iroh straightened in his chair. "Would you do it if you were paid to?"

Despite himself Mu-Tan felt his pride deeply wounded by that last comment. Had he fallen so low? Was he just a paid assassin? No... Not as long as the ideal lived on. He had seen the tattoo's of a priestess! The Order lived on and he would bring in the next generation of Silver Circle Guards.

"I see that you have much to consider General Mu-Tan." Iroh stood and walked over to the door. "Do not let me keep you from your days activities."

Mu-Tan walked to the door and nodded slightly to Iroh. "I have a dojo. The prince knows where it is." He walked out and noticed that ManYee's door was open slightly. As he walked out into the street Iroh threw something at him that he quickly spun around and caught. They stared at each other for quite sometime before Mu-Tan walked off. To those passing that day they saw only two old tired men. They failed to see the epic sight of two dragons intertwined tooth and claw.

When Mu-Tan walked into his dojo he bowed to the shrine and knelt in front of it. He sighed and let out all his anger and emotion, letting himself turn inward. Once he was centered he opened his eyes again and unclenched his fist. His breath caught. Lying on his palm was the White Lotus piece.

-----

Gritting his teeth, Zuko walked home. Occasionally he stumbled. It hurt to just breathe. He had not had such a beating since... since those pirates blew up his ship. Every thing hurt or stung or ached.

He stepped inside the house and carefully closed the door behind him. He hoped Ty-min was not there to see him like this. As he turned around he saw his uncle tidying the house as if some small war was fought there. The ceiling had weird ripples and swirls and cracks. Iroh was stamping down some floor tiles.

Zuko frowned. That too hurt. His uncle looked at him startled by the scene before him of his beloved nephew, concern then annoyance filling his eyes and voice. "ZUKO! What happened to you? I told you NOT to look for a fight with Fong."

Zuko protested, "I didn't!"

Iroh: "What? Did you decide to leap off a building instead with your eyes closed and hope the ground was soft?"

Zuko was in no mood for this. He was exhausted and every breath burned. He was going to retort something fierce back at his uncle when the room started to grow dark. Uncertain what was befalling him now, his breath came quick and painful. He never felt himself drop into his uncle's arms, nor did he feel his uncle carry him to his bed mat. Nor did he hear Ty-min shriek from the now opening door.

ManYee came in behind Ty-min. She quickly set down the basket of sweet cakes and restrained Ty-min. "He'll be ok." Once calmed, Ty-min was allowed to sit next to Zuko's bed mat. ManYee and Iroh went about checking Zuko's wounds, washing him and bandaging him. "Your home has been all kinds of exciting today, Mushi."

Iroh simply sighed. He was reassured when ManYee proved to be very adept at physical medicine. She then explained that she was a nurse during the 600 day siege. She also explained that his nephew would be fine. There was no internal bleeding, a slightly cracked rib which will take a few weeks to heal. She then went out to buy some ice for the bruises and swelling.

Ty-min never left Zuko's side. She didn't want him to be taken from her, too. She fiddled with his flute as ManYee and Iroh carefully set the bladders full of shaved ice on the worst of the swelling and bruises.

Zuko woke several hours later to Ty-min curled close to him holding her dolly in one hand and his flute in the other. He took a slow tentative deep breath. It ached, but not as bad. He realized he was cleaned and bandaged and was immeasurably thankful for the love of his uncle. He carefully sat up so as not to disturb Ty-min. He reached over and smoothed her hair. Then drew the flute out of her hand and set it on the neat pile of his clothing in the corner of his room.

Stepping out into the main room, which looked better than it had, though the ceiling will likely need repairs later, he was aware of the wonderful smell of spicy noodles, warm sweet cakes, and vanilla bergamot tea. His uncle set food on the table for his nephew. Zuko sat and ate very slowly.

"Uncle, I didn't go looking for that fight. They cornered me on my way home from..." Zuko faltered at finishing that statement.

Iroh: "From?"

Zuko: "I was walking someone home."

Iroh smiled a big grin. He was sure Zuko had a girlfriend. "Are you ever going to bring your girlfriend over for me to meet?"

Zuko: "No. You are embarrassing. And she is NOT my girlfriend!"

Iroh was so amused. He was sure that if this girl was NOT Zuko's girlfriend, that she was likely to become one eventually. He remembered all his protesting to his father about his own new girlfriends. That was so so so sooooo long ago. "Well, then you must be able to protect her and yourself. I have found you a place to train. You will resume your training as soon as you are fit enough to do so."

Zuko looked up at his uncle, confused. "You will not be my teacher?"

Iroh: "I will always be your teacher. But Sifu Rai has a dojo and is very skilled in many martial arts forms. I invited him over today to discuss this with him. He said he had already met you and would be honored to have you as his pupil. He also said you already know where his dojo is."

Zuko pondered all this. _Rai? Was that the name of the Silver Circle Assassin?_ So he had been accepted as a student. Obviously his uncle had no clue for why. That suited Zuko just fine. "I will go over there tomorrow after work."

Iroh: "Oh no. You will stay right here and rest. I will send word to the forge and to work that you are unwell. You can spend the day with Ty-min. ManYee's daughter has agreed to take her in, at least until her own new baby comes. She is staying over at ManYee's for a couple days."

Zuko was relieved. So Ty-min can be part of a real family somewhere safe. He will miss her, but knowing she would be safe was much better. He finished eating and drinking his tea then went back into his room onto the bed mat. There he spent most of the night just watching her sleep. She would be gone tomorrow. He smiled at how her short hair had all kinds of curls when it is clean. "Yes, it is a good thing you will be somewhere safe. I am just not a ... good father for you right now," he whispered.


	13. Chapter 13: Iroh Meets Team Avatar

_**Chapter 13: Iroh Meets Team Avatar**_

Iroh was blending teas in the Tea Shop while Zuko stayed home to rest and entertain Ty-min. Zuko was not sure at all what to do for an entire day with a five year old girl. He told her stories his mother once told him. Then he hauled out some paper and brushes and asked her to write. She painted non-descript stuff for about two whole hours. She was so proud of her work. She begged him to look at every scribble she had done. He picked one at random. It looked like a tree with rough stick figures under it. He tacked it to the wall on his bedroom. Ty-min threw her arms around him with loving abandon. He cooked lunch and supper for her, she helped. And when he was aching, she got things for him and found the premixed tea Iroh had prepared so Zuko would not mess up the tea canisters. Zuko made his favorite tea and sat with Ty-min trying to teach her to write her name. When she ran out of patience, he played lively tunes on his flute for her and she danced around the main room.

ManYee came over with her daughter. They were ready to go. Ty-min gave Zuko a huge long hug and made him promise to be here when she came to visit. He promised. Then she asked if he was going to be her daddy later on. He was shocked, and honored that she would ask. He said he might, that time alone would tell. She kissed him on all the non-bruised parts of his face and giggled before running off to play with her new part-time sister in.

When Zuko closed the door, his heart suddenly ached. His jaw clenched and he fought the quiet tears that threatened. He took a deep breath or ten, then made more tea.

-----

The day was particularly busy as the weather was still remarkably nice. It was unfortunate that Sokka, Aang, Toph and Katara were getting so very grumpy with each other. There was still no luck at finding Appa and still no luck in getting to see the Earth King. Sokka was especially antsy about that, while Aang was stressing more and more about Appa. Finally Katara lost her temper at them all. "THAT IS IT! We are all going down to the Lower Ring to have tea. We toyed with the idea before. We are now going to do it... before I kill you all!" She dragged them all off to the stone tram, sometimes called the train.

The tram wound its way down to the southern stop of the Lower Ring. They all got out with a crowd of other people. Many were thinking of going to the Tea Shop with the great tea master, Mushi. Katara hoped there would be room for everyone at the Tea Shop. When they arrived, the Tea shop was packed. So they wandered the Lower Ring for a while asking if anyone had seen a flying bison. No one had. By the evening, they returned to the Tea Shop and it was quieter.

They all sat at one table in the corner by the open window. Aang moped with his chin on his crossed arms on the table. He missed Appa badly and felt so lost and forelorn without him. Toph was listening to the voices, picking out some she recognized. "I had tea with that voice when I had run off from you guys."

"Who?" they all asked her as they raised their heads to look around.

Iroh walked right up to them. "Welcome. I am Mushi. Shall I bring teas I think you will especially like?"

Toph smiled brightly at him, "Yes please!"

"You are my last customers on my shift to serve. May I join you for tea?" Iroh was warm and gentle with his manner as though he was not at all concerned about sharing a table with the avatar and his friends.

Again Toph welcomed him before anyone could get their voices. Sokka found his voice first. "Are you CRAZY? Do you know who he is?!"

"Sokka. Keep you voice down," Katara warned him. "Remember the letter?"

"And the seal on that letter?" Toph reminded them all.

Iroh brought teas of various types and some warm sweet buns for everyone. He sat at their table. The exchange was cautiously friendly. Iroh let them know that he intended them no harm and would do his best to ensure his nephew's intentions were likewise. Sokka sat back with his arms crossed over his chest, barely drinking his tea. He was not at all ready to be friendly with people he felt were still the enemy. Toph and Aang did the most talking. Toph had already had a good feeling about Iroh and Aang was always ready to see the good in someone. Katara had to admire that in Aang, and so maybe consider the possibility too that Iroh may not really be the enemy.

They exchanged some news and why they were each there... without truly talking about the war or other forbidden subjects. Iroh noticed the men on the opposite roof trailing avatar and his friends. It reminded him that even in such a blissful place, there are still many secrets and dangers. So, he shifted the conversation deftly. He told them that he just wanted to give his nephew a chance at a real normal life. Also, if he or his nephew could help, they need only ask within reason. He reminded them that his nephew, Lee, was far from ready to be anyone's friend yet, and that his situation with "home" was dire and that they were no longer bound to "home" in any way. This gave all the avatar and his friends something to think about. Zuko and Iroh were enemies of the Fire Nation.

Aang spoke quietly, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." He smiled at Iroh who smiled back with a nod. Aang gave Iroh a little piece of paper, something he had passed to everyone. It had their address on it so they could be contacted, in case someone spotted Appa, his beloved flying bison. Iroh promised to let them know if he found anything out. He then paid for their meals and teas before he left. The four friends sat finishing their tea and considering this new turn of events in silence.

Toph finally commented, "He is so sad. He is so so sad and worried. I can feel it through the earth. It is just like when we had tea together. His nephew is so lucky to have someone who loves him so much."


	14. Chapter 14: The Dojo Tattoi Ryuu

**_Chapter 14: The Dojo_**

The next morning felt odd without Ty-min. Zuko hoped she was doing well. He was up before the sun. He lit a candle in his bedroom and meditated for the first time since he lost his ship to the pirates. He thought about Faelin. He thought about Ty-min. He thought about his mother. Then he did some stretches to prevent his wounds from locking up his muscles. The muscles ached. The rib ached. The bruises ached. And when he stepped into a cold bath, every single cut STUNG! He stepped out to his uncle ready with a jar of ointment. He grumbled as his uncle anointed every cut with the mild scented ointment. After dressing and wolfing down some hot rice meal, he hurried over to the forge.

There were some looks of concern, but nothing more. He was put to work with the early crew. He helped heat the more delicate metals for blending and then heating the blends to molten metal so they could be poured into the rod molds. It was hot and sweaty work. He kept rubbing his hand through the now longish bangs that dripped sweat into his eyes. By midmorning he was done and grabbed a cold shower out the back of the forge with the rest of the morning crew. He was last in the small stall and could enjoy the rest of the water. It would fill up again from the small well wheel over the next few hours. He closed his eyes as the cool water poured over his damp hair and rinsed away the sooty grime of the forge, coursing down his bruised body. Fo-Ji helped rebandage his ribs before he headed to the Tea Shop for work.

That work was monotonous. He hated it, but it paid, and that he could not do without. He was lucky to have gotten the job to begin with. All day he wondered how his uncle managed to meet up with the Silver Circle Assassin, Rai. Rai was likely not his real name. He wondered what had transpired. Something big must have happened since there was obvious earthbending and firebending that happened in their small home. Either way, he was to begin training. It shamed him to realize how out of form he was. He was still good, but not as good as when he had trained relentlessly every day. Now he will get back to it, and learn more skills to add to what he already knew. He wondered if he would get a chance to see Faelin, too. Maybe he would on his way to the dojo. He wished she had come out the other day and said something. It bothered him. What was she doing in that disreputable place? She never answered any of his questions! Not even the simple innocent ones. Not even... and he blushed... when he complimented her. GODS! She was so... shinzui! Zuko sighed in frustration. He would look for her a bit on his way to the dojo.

He walked through the forbidden district. It wasn't really forbidden. He wondered if he could nickname it something else. He took note of every person he passed hoping it would be Faelin. He also felt ridiculous for doing so. Just as his feelings of foolishness pushed him to stop looking, she hurried past him! He dodged her and then trotted beside her. "Are you running away from someone?"

She stopped. "Lee! Oh, ahh... no. I am running to someone. I am late. I have to get to the... Oh my GODS! What happened to you?! I told you this place was dangerous! This is exactly the reason you should not be here after dark!" She was looking up with a mix of shock and concern at his seriously bruised face. She reached a hand up to touch the worst of his bruises. He braced himself for the pain of her touch. It never came. She shied from the contact.

To reassure her he said, "It's ok. I'll heal."

"Was it Fong? They really hate you, you know. You shouldn't try to fight them. They fight dirty and in numbers." She wished she was not forbidden from bending. She would try to boost his body's own natural healing process.

He walked with her in the direction she was hurrying. "It doesn't hurt so much now. Some aching. And I didn't pick the fight. I wouldn't really call it a fight anyways."

As they left the forbidden district heading to the Eastern Quarter, he pondered what he would have called it. He wanted to say something... witty. "What **would** you call it? Because you look like mashed potatoes!" Why was she always so blunt when talking about him and so evasive when talking about herself?

Then his lips curled into almost a grin, more of a smirk. "I call it aggressive negotiations." She tilted her head so he could see her quizzical look.

"Aggressive negotiations?" She smiled and almost laughed. He grinned, very proud of his wittiness, even prouder to have gotten her to smile and almost laugh.

Once they were a few blocks from the forbidden district, she hooked her hand around his elbow. He glanced at her as he felt his cheeks get a bit hot. He did not draw away or do anything to spook her from drawing away. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"I have to go to the hair stylist and be back before sunset. The appointments need to be made. And I should have done them yesterday, but I was too busy." She was glad their walking pace was faster than leisurely, but she did not want it to be over too soon. They stopped in front of what looked like a house. "Ok, I have to go make the appointments. Thank you for the company, Lee." And she hurried up the long steps to the second floor apartment of the house.

He watched with his golden eyes. Then mentally chastised himself for not taking advantage of the moment to ask her some questions. He cursed to himself all the way to the dojo.

When Zuko reached the dojo, the sign above the door read Tattoi Ryuu. He opened the door to a fresh new tapestry on the back wall of a silver dragon in the shape of a circle and the kanji of Tattoi Ryuu scripted in the center. Tattoi Ryuu... Noble Dragon. The craftsmanship of the tapestry was excellent and expensive. There was an actual silver wide-band ring of about 3 inched in diameter held in the dragon's mouth. Zuko leaned in close as he thought he noted an inscription on the inside of the band. He squinted and tilted his head to see it better. _Qin Maru Shugosha... Silver Circle Guardians?_ Zuko was confused. _Shouldn't it read Qin Maru Ansatsusha? Silver Circle Assassins?_

Mu-Tan: "Lee?"

Zuko jumped! He turned around to see 30 pairs of eyes from 30 children between the ages of four and eight (32 if you count the two adults) looking at him. His cheeks then ears burned red with embarrassment. It was so quiet; he thought no one was there. All the children wore the same pale green uniform. He was amazed to see some that even had red or blond hair, and even some girls. Not as surprised as he was to find that there were people at all there. He had no idea that this place was ACTUALLY a dojo. He thought it was a secret place for assassin training. That assumption made him feel even more embarrassed.

One blond eight year old girl asked, "Sifu? Is he new?"

Mu-Tan: "Yes, Kitrin, He is. Now everyone, refocus."

All the children obediently sat back in their meditation positions and closed their eyes. Zuko sat dumbly on the bench by the tapestry and watched. After about five minutes when the littler children started to fidget, Mu-Tan stood. They all stood with him. Zuko noticed that the blond girl who spoke and a couple other children wore the metal wrist bands of indentured servants. They all bowed honorably to the two men who returned the bow and were dismissed. Zuko stood only to be almost set off balance by 30 children surrounding him to get their belongings and off through a door to changing rooms.

Kitrin stood in front of Zuko staring up at his bruised face. "Wow, you must have really made your master angry!"

Zuko frowned. "No. I am my own master. And I got into ... aggressive negotiations with a group of bullies."

Her eyes widened. Then she smiled. "It is my turn to clean up today. I will show you around!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him off. What else was he to do? He let her. She led him through the door to a small hallway lined with trunks. There were two baskets at the end of the hall with a window above them. In the middle of the hall was a door on each side leading into small changing rooms where he heard the noise of the children changing or helping the younger ones change. "That way is for the boys. This was is for the girls. Each box has the uniforms. Do not mix up the sizes!" She shook her finger at him to emphasize her words. "This basket is for if the uniforms get torn or need to be fixed for whatever reason. And this basket is for all the smelly dirty ones." She wrinkled her face. "It's my turn to wash them. Everyone has to take a turn. Are you going to be in our class?"

Zuko could hardly keep up with her explanations. "Um... I..."

"That's ok. We are all really new, but I am getting pretty good. If you are new, I can flatten you on the tatami mat!" She grinned so big you saw her missing front teeth. She saw him looking at her metal wrist bands. So, she held them up for him to see more easily. One had an Earth nation stamp on it which annoyed him. But the other, it had a Fire nation stamp which horrified him. "I was in the Fire Nation when I was too little to remember and now I am here. I am training to be the best Merchant guard I can be, just like my dad!" Then she opened the boys changing room door. He was about to stop her when she yelled into the room, "HURRY UP!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ALL NIGHT CLEANING YOU STINKY CLOTHES!!!" The few girls were already out and tossing their uniforms in the basket.

Zuko just stood there stunned as the children began milling out in their street clothes. Some in fine silks and some in the grubbiest clothing possible, like what Ty-Min had been wearing. Once everyone was out, she pointed to one trunk. "Go change! These ones should be big enough for you. Sifu doesn't like dallywaggers!" She dragged the basket back into the dojo where the other man picked it up for her and led her away with it. Zuko wondered who the other man was. He just blinked and watched.

Mu-Tan came up to him, a smug look on his face. "She is a bit of a whirlwind. Not used to children telling you what to do? Get used to it. They have seniority in her over you. They've been here for over a year, except the new four-year-old. I will meet you on the mats in a few minutes. I need to speak with the parents and guardians of these children."

Zuko was still feeling stunned as he awkwardly pulled out a uniform and changed. He was not at all expecting this dojo to be holding classes. He prayed he was not going to be stuck amongst the children. He was an experienced, almost master firebender. This was humiliating! He went to the center of the mats and sat in the meditation pose trying to not brood.

Mu-Tan returned to the mats after seeing the children off. Then he knelt in the meditation pose facing Zuko as they had done before. He watched Zuko carefully. Zuko scowled for almost ten whole minutes. Mu-Tan watched as Zuko's eyes moved behind their lids and Zuko occasionally clenched his jaw. Everything else about Zuko's pose indicated meditation, but these small signs told Mu-Tan the young man was very busy in his mind. "If you want to achieve true meditation, you must… let… go… of your thoughts and emotions. Let them come, but then let them go. None of those situations are here now."

Zuko's head snapped up and he scowled at Mu-Tan. He kept himself from retorting, remembering the last time he remarked without respect in this man's dojo. "But they are here and now. They are part of who I am and how I am feeling."

"When you cross that black line onto my tatami mats in this dojo, you are in sacred space, much like a temple. All that has happened and is happening outside, must remain there… outside," Mu-Tan advised. Zuko clenched his jaw again and Mu-Tan knew that this would be a hard lesson for Zuko to learn. Zuko had trouble letting go of the past and living in the present. Mu-Tan took in a long peaceful breath and let it out allowing the calm to fill him. Then he rose and went to the small shrine. There he lit fresh incense. "Walk with me, Lee." And Zuko stood and followed Mu-Tan.

"In this dojo, I am Sifu. The other man you saw is Ling. He is my assistant. He handles the registries and accounts and needs of the dojo. He is essentially the administration master in here. He also assists with some of the classes, like the large children's class you just walked in on. We provide uniforms here so no one's status is obviously above or below another's. I will not tolerate disrespect in this dojo. Every student is equal. Only their skills on the mats divide them." Mu-Tan led Zuko to the tapestry, "This is the new banner for the dojo. Kitrin showed you around the back changing rooms. At the end of the day, one student is assigned to wash the uniforms. Usually I do not have the children do it, but Kitrin… well, as you saw it is hard to say no to her. Ling is helping her." Mu-Tan walked Zuko to a posted list and a pile of wooden chits. He pointed to Zuko's name: Lee on the paper with a fire symbol next to it and then handed him a chit with the same. "That is your chit. When you are in the dojo, you hook your chit on one of the hooks. If your chit is hooked on the white hook, then it is your duty to clean things the next day." Mu-Tan walked Zuko over to the shrine. It was a low bench with candles and incense with a small shelf higher up. "This is the dojo's shrine. It is dedicated to my late son. The lower bench is a public shrine at which anyone may meditate or make offerings. I sometimes find that this helps, especially the children, as they are trying to understand some of the troubles in their lives." He was careful not to discuss the war. "You must respect this dojo and me as you would respect anyone in a temple. Sacred Space. Never forget it. Oh… and try not to bleed on the tatami mats. If you do, you stay after to clean it up." Zuko just absorbed it all. The walk and the explanations were another way to help with meditation. Mu-Tan knew that sometimes a moving meditation was more help to certain people than a sitting one. Zuko was likely one of those kinds of people who needed to be moving in order to relax.

"Lee, I will want to see you after dinner every night. Are you able to get free?" Mu-Tan almost forgot that Zuko had taken in the little urchin girl Ty-min.

Zuko nodded. "Yes. I have made arrangements." Zuko was relieved to not be stuck in the class with the children. Private lessons with this new teacher was what he had truly been hoping for. "Sifu?" Zuko had a sudden idea. "Is your children's class accepting new members?" He thought of Ty-min.

Mu-Tan responded with a smile. "Of course. The class meets twice a week."

Zuko decided to see if Ty-min would like to join. However, with her in the Middle Ring, this might be problematic. He could go and get her. Then maybe, have his uncle bring her home? Then with some concern, "And… how much do the classes cost?"

Mu-Tan was seeing where this was going right away. "I run this on a sliding scale. I ask for a proof of income from the family and the fee is 10 of their weekly salary."

Zuko was surprised. That means several of the students were there for free. That also meant that the dojo didn't nearly make enough to support itself nor the expensive things that were in it. Zuko guessed the extra money came from this man's side job as an assassin for hire.

Mu-Tan had Zuko go through the basic exercises and stretches and then observed all the forms and moves Zuko could show him. "Lee, one more thing. There will be NO bending in this dojo. Not ever." And with that, Zuko was dismissed for the night with some extra stretches and moves to help keep him limber from the wounds he got in the fight with Fong's men the other day.


	15. Chapter 15: Pain

**_Chapter 15: Pain_**

Remembering how focused he felt when he meditated first thing in the morning, Zuko decided to do the same every morning from now on… and likely just before bed every night. He had forgotten how much it helped, even if he was not very good at it. He was impressed at how the walking meditation also helped. That will be added to his new/old daily routine from now on. Before leaving for the forge, he wrote a letter and sent it off to find out if Ty-min would be interested in learning martial arts.

Starting today, he was to smith the metal into basic blades. He was eager to learn how a blade was actually made from the metal bars. Unfortunately, learning about smithing meant making more metal bars. Hefting the heavy bars once they were cooled was great for building muscular strength and tone, but was extremely PAINFUL for the cracked rib. Every day of this was harder work until he no longer noticed the aches. He didn't notice anything at all until he was carrying a few rods over his shoulder with no shirt on and one of the girls who were part of the hilt polishing group whistled at him and his well defined muscles. He blushed, stumbled and bumped into the stone cubby rack knocking over several metal rods. He prayed for a bolt of lightening to strike him dead that very instant. Instead Fo-ji yelled from across the forge, "LEE!!! Clear that away proper before you leave! I don't care how long it takes or what you miss!" Zuko let out a tight breath of frustration through his teeth and began the tedious task of sorting the metals bar as he had before. At least now he knew which was which almost by touch. Thankfully he was not banned from the forge as someone else had been a while ago.

Also during that week, there were more Middle Ring and Upper Ring people in the Tea Shop. Etiquette with the clients stepped up a notch or three. He was glad for that training in the palace when he was the young prince under the watchful eye of his mother. The clients appreciated it, so much so, that they tipped him remarkably well. He always left the Tea Shop feeling a bit stunned. All he did was be polite and serve them tea. They also had a blessed week of no rain. Zuko was hoping the rainy season was over. Locals assured him it wasn't and that he could expect the next big stormy bout of it soon enough.

He tried to cross paths with Faelin before dinner every day. Sometimes that went well. They would walk while she did her errands and they would just talk. If they talked about the activities and news about Ba Sing Se, or talked about the new things Zuko was learning at the forge or in the dojo, then it was really… pleasant. Yes, Zuko could definitely say it was nice. He could hardly believe how much he would actually talk to her. She listened to everything he said with care and interest, even if he said very little or nothing at all. She would just listen to their silence. It was these moments that he felt she suited the other sense of the nickname of shinzui, meaning spiritual. She seemed serene and spiritual when they just sat on a bench and watched people go by. On the rare occasion, when they were outside the forbidden district, she would take his arm, tentatively as she did before, with all the indication that the slightest wrong move would spook her. He wanted so badly to know why.

Wanting to know why to everything about her that was when things fell apart between them. His curiosity would peak to a point that he could stand it no longer and a barrage of questions would come. They would then snap and yell at one another and she would either storm off in a huff or run away from him, in tears he suspected. And, he had no idea why. Those were the times he just wanted to scream and burn things up. She was shinzui in the way he felt it was a curse coming from his mouth. _AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! SHINZUI!_

For these past few days and almost two weeks, he had the dojo and his new Sifu to himself. Sometimes Ling was there. Ling sparred with him while Sifu Rai watched and commented and directed. On days where Zuko had argued with Faelin, Mu-Tan had him do more meditations or worked his aggression out depending on what seemed to be needed. He was incredibly perceptive as to what was needed when.

It must be the sunshine. Zuko felt more normal and less moody and depressed when the sun was out. "I rise with the sun!" he told himself as he got up one morning and prepared for his morning routine. He meditated with the candles till the sun turned the sky pink and yellow, highlighting the slightly grey clouds. He hurried out to the forge and got to work. His walking meditation became a jogging one as he could now briskly trot and jog to the forge without too much aching in his rib. He was thinking of Faelin all morning. They had come to meet after he finished work outside the glassblower's shop. Today he wanted to try to steal her away to the Fountain of Lights. It would still be daylight out, but they could sit there a bit. He'd do it even if it meant he skipped dinner before going to the dojo.

His uncle had asked him if the girl was his girlfriend yet. This was also on his mind. What was Faelin to him? Were they friends? He figured they kind of were. How did her feel about her? He realized he was no longer angry at her, just frustrated and disappointed sometimes. Something happened. Something must have. She would not have left the children unless she really had no choice. Was she his girlfriend? Did she even like him? He timidly admitted to himself that he liked her. She was shinzui, but that made her all the more interesting. They had never done anything that he thought a girlfriend or boyfriend would do together. He had no interest or intention to kiss her. She would give him THAT look and bolt never to speak to him again. She shied if he even so much as tried to reach out and touch her. Yet, he wanted to do that. Not for the reasons guys usually do. He just wanted to push back her hood and see her hair. He wanted her to look up at him directly. Her eyes, when she did, were like the ocean. Blue, green, grey and yet not. He wanted to tease her by poking her few freckles like he used to way back when. And yet, sometimes he would just discover a bruise and he would want to see that more clearly. Those were the days she hid most from him. He wished he could protect her, but she just would not let him.

The second he could escape the Tea Shop he took off at a run, skidding to a halt far enough away to calm his breath and walk calmly to their meeting place. He was finding slowly that he trusted her. _But what was that?_ He wished he could talk to someone about it. He had no idea how to behave around her. It was like feeling your way through a room full of sharp daggers with a blindfold on and the candles and lanterns all out. She almost never really smiled. He almost got a good smile out of her a couple weeks ago with his witty comment. But then, who is he to talk. He doesn't really smile. Though, he found himself smiling despite himself at home if he thought of her. His uncle would tease him as much about it. "AH! You are thinking of her again! Bring her by. I want to meet her!" Zuko already knew that their hut was too far for her to come. He hated the promises that she made that put such restriction on her. _What were those promises?_ He didn't want to get into a yelling match over it today. The sun was out. He wanted to enjoy it a little. He wanted to share its warmth with her.

He met up with her and bowed to her respectfully. She returned the respect with a proper curtsey. "Do you have time today?" He asked.

Faelin: "Today, I have no errands. I did them all earlier. Where did you want to go? I have to be…"

"I know. Back before sunset. I have to be at the dojo at the same time." He offered her his arm this time, hoping she would take it. If she did, it meant she trusted him, just a little. Small victories that he cherished. She took his arm carefully with her hands and let him lead her away. She kept looking over her shoulder till they were well away from the Craftsmen's District. Then she relaxed more. He could feel her tension and then her relax. It bothered him. He promised that today there would be no questions. They sat on the side of the Fountain. Just sat. He loved how this moment was so quiet and peaceful. Loved it more because he could see it in her face and posture. If only he could give this to her all the time. He tipped his face to the sun and soaked it up. Glancing out the corner of his eye, he saw that she was doing the same, a look of contentment on her face. He smiled. Thank you gods for this moment, thank you on her behalf. He noticed her look down a moment. He did not move. Mu-Tan said that sometimes to coax a frightened kitten to you, you must be as still and patient as a mountain. He didn't understand what the lesson was for, but now he saw one way to apply it. He was rewarded by the fingers of her left hand curling tentatively around his right hand. He could not stop the warmth from creeping into his cheeks.

This was a good meeting. He hoped that he could give this moment to her again.

And sometimes there were not so good meetings where he just could not contain his questions. These meetings seemed to outnumber the good ones.

They bantered fiercely in the street at a corner in the forbidden district. "For gods sake, Faelin! You're gone for four years having left without a trace. You left them there, Faelin. WHY?! And then I find you here, and you won't let me know anything about you! You practically know everything there is to know about me. I know nothing of you! You dodge and avoid. You wrap it all up in secrets and stupid promises! DAMMIT, Faelin!"

Faelin: "I told you I CANNOT tell you!"

Zuko: "What has become of you?! You use to be…"

Faelin: "I am NO LONGER what you think. I AM NOT, I CANNOT be. STOP BADGERING ME with the PAST!! It is not like you were there either!"

"I am here now! Faelin!!!" Zuko yelled as she was marching away from him… again….

"Tell it to someone who cares!" She yelled over her shoulder.

"I though I just DID!" His mouth betrayed him yet again. His face burned and he regretted the words as they came out. He closed his eyes tight in shame and embarrassment, clenching his fists trying to restrain his boiling emotions, emotions that were like his molten metal mixtures at the forge.

Faelin stopped. She walked back to him. He felt the tip of her cloak brush his fists as the breeze moved it. When he opened his eyes, she was standing before him, her right hand rising. He unclenched his fists and closed his eyes. He wondered what she was going to do. Was she going to slap him? She's done that before. Was she going to grab him and knee him in the groin? Oh gods, please let her not do that again. Though, he felt he deserved whatever was coming. He didn't expect what did come however.

The palm of her hand pressed warmly onto his chest, just over his heart. He felt a tension building there, an ache. He opened his eyes to see her there, so close to him. Her eyes captured his in their oceanic depths. He pressed his left hand over hers on his chest as she spoke softly to him, "Lee, I do care. It's just…" She lowered her head, the shadow of her cloak hood hiding her eyes, but not the tear that rolled gracefully down her cheek. "It's just… complicated."

He gently brushed the tear away with his right hand. He never wanted to hurt her, and really never wanted to make her cry. The ache in his chest grew to a lump in his throat that prevented him from apologizing. She shied a little from his touch but did not pull away. He lifted her chin so she would look up at him again. Hoarsely he said through his tight throat, "I know all about complicated, Faelin."

From the brothel where she worked a man leaned out the second floor window and yelled loudly and harshly, "FAELIN!!!!"

Zuko felt her tense and then shake. She whispered as she pulled away, "Not my kind of complicated" And then she ran to the building to where she was being called.

The pain in his chest now was much much worse than the cracked rib had ever felt. His shirt was still warm against his skin where her hand had been. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. Swallowing hard, he whispered into the air, "I am sorry."

Slowly and reluctantly he walked to the dojo. He didn't even bother to get something to eat. He didn't think he could stomach anything right now. He was grateful that the dojo was empty. Sifu and Ling must be out eating. Zuko changed as the aching in his chest would not ease. He donned just the pale green pants as usual and walked barefoot onto the tatami mats. At the center he collapsed onto his knees holding his chest and slowly lowered his brow to the floor. He focused just on his breathing, hoping that the sweet scent of the bamboo tatami mat could help ease his soul. Deciding this was no mood to try working out in, he might firebend by accident, he changed back to his own clothes. He wrote a short apology note and left it in the message box for his Sifu and left.

He was somber all that night. Iroh watched his nephew with concern seeing how troubled Zuko was. He preferred Zuko when the girl made him smile unconsciously. Iroh had tried to talk to Zuko about it, but Zuko would only tell him to leave him be. Iroh remembered the ups and downs of some of his own relationships. He really wished Zuko would talk to him. Well, all he could do was make some soothing bergamot vanilla tea for Zuko and a cup of Jasmine Pearls for himself. Those were a find at the Jasmine herbal stall.

The next day Faelin had avoided him. She was running around with more errands than he thought possible. He took a heavy load of books from her and helped her carry them to a house where she had to deposit them. They said nothing to each other. Then she had to hurry away. When that big sumo guy was around, she just shook her head at Zuko to warn him away. He wished he could intervene somehow. That guy really bothered him. _Complicated, eh? What was she doing? Was she a whore in there? How could things get to a point where she would stop being a priestess? She took vows for gods sake!_ He grew irritated. His dojo training was full of venting anger as he sparred with Ling AND Mu-Tan.

Mu-Tan was beginning to think he needed to have a new tactic to work with Zuko. Relationships were great when they were supportive, but when they were new and full of these ups and downs, they compromised the clarity of mind a warrior needed. Zuko made mistakes and he paid for them with embarrassing defeats that left him flat on his back on the tatami mat staring up at Ling.

The next day when Zuko managed to meet up with Faelin, he had some heated questions for her. They yelled back and forth at each other irregardless of who was watching. In his temper, he made the mistake of grabbing her arm to prevent her from running off on him and the look he got was one he would never forget. It was like a breech of trust. It was like she was looking at someone, not him, someone who hurt her before, and could not tell the difference. It was then he saw the large welt on her cheek. He never wanted her to look at him like that. Not ever. He hated himself for it… for earning that look. He vowed to never do that again. After that, he did not see her for nearly three days.

Zuko skipped dinner again and got to the dojo early. He changed and paced the dojo in his bare feet and pale green pants. There was no point to wearing the tunic. The sparring always ended up getting it torn. And today, Zuko wanted to spar. He was frustrated, even furious, mostly with himself. "Why can't I do anything RIGHT with her?!?!" He yelled into the empty dojo. He paced it like a caged animal. What was he doing wrong? Everything. He couldn't get answers out of her. He couldn't learn about who she was or rather is now. He knew she cared about him. She said as much. He cared about her, too. That made it all the more painful. That look, that purple welt on her face, they haunted his vision. _What had happened? Why the restrictions? Why was she not allowed to really be seen with him in that area? Why couldn't she go far? What promises did she make that kept her so tied to that place or those people? It wasn't like she was married to the guy who yelled from the window._

Then he froze in mid-step.

_Nooooooo…. No. She was seventeen, old enough to be married. Women were at the age of fourteen actually. That can't be._ Zuok's eyes widened. He sat hard on the tatami mat, stunned by the possibility. _She said she had no choice. Was she forced into it? Was it an arranged marriage?_ There were so many secrets about her. He just couldn't know for sure. And he was not finding out in any way that was constructive. He had no idea what to do or how to handle her. He was too embarrassed to talk to his uncle about this. However, he really wanted some advice, some neutral sage advice.

Mu-Tan walked in to see the disheveled Zuko on the mats. He raised an eyebrow and knew right away that this had been another bad day in the love life of his apprentice. Zuko looked so lost and frustrated and confused. Zuko had paced out all his frustration and just felt empty. His look was almost pleading when he looked up at Mu-Tan from the floor. Mu-Tan extended his hand and helped Zuko up. "Have you eaten yet, Lee?" Zuko just shook his head. "Good. Get dressed. I think you have worked out enough here. You have left pace trails in the earth." Zuko went and changed back to his regular clothes and followed Mu-Tan into the back office.

The darkening sky finally released the pending storms of doom. The crack of thunder shook the dojo. Down came the rain like a waterfall seconds after. Mu-Tan felt that the weather was echoing Zuko's internal emotions. Zuko sat at the small table and looked about this new room. He had never been in the office before. It was a mix of office and kitchen. There was a shelf and cubbies that grew right out of the stone wall to hold books, scrolls and files. There was the small table and two chairs, one of which Zuko now sat on. There was also the cooking counter with a wide and deep basin and water pump on one side. That was impressive alone. His Sifu must have put in a great deal of money to get that. There was also another door. Mu-Tan opened it and went down some stairs for a few minutes before returning. Zuko thought he heard voices. Maybe there were living quarters in the basement as well as in the upstairs. Ling came up a few minutes after as Mu-Tan was preparing some vegetables at the counter.

Ling looked at Zuko a moment then at Mu-Tan. "I would be honored to teach your evening class for you. Will you be out late? Should I prepare anything for the morning class?"

"No Ling. Thank you. I shouldn't be out too too late. We are going to eat and then head out. The fort is yours till I return." Zuko listened to Mu-Tan's words and thought there was more being said than the actual words. Ling bowed respectfully and left. The respect and honor here was like at home in the Fire Nation, the way he dreamed it to be. Mu-Tan then called Zuko to help him with the meal preparations. Zuko didn't really know what else to say or do, so he got up.

Mu-Tan began to talk about the elements. "Earth. Earth is the element of stability. The ground upon which we walk and live. It is also nourishment and our provider. It absorbs energy, ch'i. It is still and stubborn. It does not like to be moved or changed. It is constant and full of deep tradition." And into a pot, Mu-Tan placed the vegetables and a stone. "Water. Water is ever changing and flowing, soothing and healing. It is full of emotion, compassion, family. It washes the body and cleanses the spirit. Even in the worst of storms, it strives for balance and harmony." Mu-Tan poured water into the pot. "Air. Air is invisible but always there. It reminds us of the unseen world or ideas and intellect. It is the voice of communication, language, song and music. Every breath is sacred to us. In meditation and in all aspects of life." Mu-Tan added some rice noodles to the pot. "Fire. Fire is all passion and fury. It is strength and drive. It burns and transforms. It inspires and protects. It maintains the ch'i within us and stirs us into action and expression." Mu-Tan pointed to the small pile of wood coals under the pot. Zuko looked at him, uncertain. Mu-Tan nodded. Zuko used his firebending to spark the flame there and heat the soup. "All these elements are within us. We just happen to lean more strongly toward one or another, even the avatar leans more to one or another. Just as I lean more towards earth, so you lean more towards fire. By understanding these elements and how they are within us, we can better understand ourselves and the people around us."

Zuko thought about this in silence while the soup cooked. Mu-Tan remained silent as stone giving Zuko time to digest this. Zuko began to wonder, _what element did Faelin lean towards? She seemed to be equally a little of everything and yet… none of them, something wholly different… shinzui._ Zuko frowned.

Mu-Tan patiently watched the thoughts bounce around in Zuko's head. Then he set two bowls of soup for them to eat. "There is a fifth element, you know."

Zuko looked up. "No there isn't."

Mu-tan just gave Zuko one of those wise all knowing smiles. "Where do these elements come from? Why are they here? What gives them power? What gives a bender the ability to bend these elements? What binds them all together? What gives life to everything that lives? Why do we know that spirits exist? How do they affect our world? What makes the avatar the bridge between the world of the living and the spirit world?"

Zuko's face wrinkled up in confusion at the barrage. "How should I know?! That is avatar stuff!" Besides, Zuko was in no mood for this lesson. He was interested till the barrage, and then he was just annoyed.

"Perhaps people do not like too many questions thrown at them at one time, even if they are all related to the same answer." Mu-Tan collected the bowls and set them aside to be washed later.

Zuko closed his eyes tight and hung his head in shame. Is that what he was doing to Faelin every time? Is this how she felt? No wonder she was always upset with him. He was upset with himself now for doing that to her. Then the haunting vision of THAT look of betrayal and lost trust coupled with the mysterious bruise on her face filled his mind. His teeth clenched along with his fists. The bruise was not his fault, but everything else was. She was probably hit for being seen with him the other day. That made the bruise his fault. It might as well have been him that hit her. _What if… what if… what if she was married to that cruel man?_

Zuko looked like he was either going to explode into a ball of flame or fold up on himself and die. Mu-Tan sat across from Zuko. "Perhaps we should have a different kind of talk. There is much on your mind and it is burning you up from the inside blocking out all coherency and logic." Zuko looked up at Mu-Tan as he had when he was sitting on the mats. _How did this man know?_ Zuko's eyes were almost pleading for help. He was so at a loss. So much so that he didn't have a clue where to begin to ask for advice. He was grateful that it was his sifu he would talk to about all this chaos inside him about Faelin. Zuko opened his mouth and closed it a couple times, not sure what to say. "Come with me, Lee. The evening class is going to begin. We should go elsewhere if we are going to have a talk about sensitive issues."

Mu-Tan led Zuko down the stairs into the basement of the dojo. Part of Zuko was awed at his sifu and understood why students would travel through this Lower Ring just to learn from him. Part of him wondered why his sifu bothered with being an assassin; he was such a good teacher. Of all the teachers Zuko had had, most of them would drill him through the moves to become a fighter and firebender. Only when his uncle became his teacher did he start to get thought provoking lessons along with the physical training. He thought his uncle was just weird. Now he saw that the really great teachers did this. He wished his mind was not so full of Faelin right now so he could think about the elements lesson. He will ask about it again later. Or meditate on it once he sorted things out.

They descended a great many stairs. Each step was like a step deeper into the pain inside him. It was so dark and Mu-Tan was so quiet. He felt like he was all alone… all alone with his thoughts and memories of Faelin, of what he did to her, of what he didn't know about her, and how he felt about her. He stumbled on the last stair thinking there were more. It was pitch black and he now couldn't recall if Mu-Tan was leading or had just indicated for him to go down. He felt so suddenly alone in the dark. He brought his hands up to his face and sat on the last step struggling with his emotions. The minutes passed and his face was wet through his fingers. Part of him just wanted to scream.

A hand came down gently on his shoulder and he made to grab it and cast it off in his anguish. But, Mu-Tan was too fast and caught Zuko by the wrist. He heard the door up the stairs earthbend closed. He struggled against the man in the dark. A man who seemed to know exactly where he was and what he was doing and what he was thinking. It was like fighting himself. He lashed out and was thrown back time and time again. Sweat poured from him as hard as the tears. He yelled and attacked with all his fury. Fire erupted around him to illuminate a figure all in dark greens and browns and blacks. The fight was fierce and furious until Zuko's breathing came in exhausted heaves and he dropped to his knees unable to bend any more fire or even strike out. It was so dark and silent again. He broke down on the warm stone floor hoping death came quick.

Zuko couldn't even muster the energy to sit up, let alone stand. A metal lantern came to life on the far side of the room. Zuko dared not look up, horrified that he might have burned up his sifu's or someone else's belongings or even maybe burned his sifu. We wept with such shame as he had not done since he faced his own father and all over Faelin.

Strong gentle hands helped him to sit up. Zuko scrubbed his eyes on his sleeve. Mu-Tan kept his hands on Zuko's shaking shoulders to support him some. "Are you done?"

Zuko could barely whisper, "Yes, sifu. I…. I'm sorry."

Mu-Tan: "I brought you down here to face something and vent safely. You needed to let go. You were going to explode."

Zuko looked up. His sifu was so wise. He could read Zuko like an open book. "Thank you, Sifu." After some time of sitting and just getting his breathing to be normal, Zuko looked to his sifu again. Mu-Tan had now sat cross-legged in front of him patient as a mountain. And Zuko was reminded of his Sifu's words, _Sometimes to coax a frightened kitten to you, you must be as still and patient as a mountain._

"I… I don't know what to do or think," began Zuko. He explained everything he could about Faelin to Mu-Tan without telling him that she was a priestess. He stared at the stone floor as he explained all the questions he had about her and all the concerns. His cheeks burned as he tentatively told even the things he liked about her. They burned even more when he told of the moment she said she cared about him and the moment he grabbed her arm. He swallowed hard. He expressed his worry that maybe she was trapped in some kind of bad situation, bound by restrictive promises. Then he wondered aloud that maybe she WAS married and he was being a complete fool.

Mu-Tan simply said, "She is not married. And, nothing worth having comes easy."

Zuko let out a deep sigh.

Mu-Tan: "I can see you have feelings for her. Have you tried to learn about her from just watching her? You have shared a great deal of observations already. Despite your questions, you know lots about her. You need to be patient, prince. She has obviously been through a lot and it will take time for her to open up. And she is not fiery like you where a good explosive fight will achieve that."

Zuko let out another deep sigh. "But what do I do? I… she… I haven't seen her in three days. After what I did… After that look… She probably hates me, or at the very least will never trust me again."

Mu-Tan weighed what he knew of Faelin with what Zuko had told him. "Do you remember the lesson of the elements?" Zuko nodded wondering where this was going. "She is not fire." Zuko shook his head. That was obvious, most of the time, but sometimes she was. "She is not earth." Again Zuko shook his head. "She is not water." Zuko had to think about that one. He had seen her do some kind of bending to help heal a frightened child. No… she bent the bad dreams away and soothed the child's fear. Then he remembered how she pulled him through the wall. Was that earthbending? No… what was something very different and strange. "She is not air."

Again Zuko had to think about that. "But she… no… She can do bending. But… I don't know what kind."

"Remember when I said there was a fifth element? Well, the fifth element is spirit or ch'i."

Zuko's eyes widened and his mouth formed an OH. That suddenly made sense, and not. "But that would make her an avatar and there is only one of him."

Mu-Tan shook his head, "No. She cannot bend the other elements as the avatar can. Just spirit or ch'i energy. There used several ch'i benders. Legend says that it was they who taught the avatar about the spirit world. They were the ones who oversaw the rites of birth, adulthood and death. They were the spirit voices who predicted the avatars coming. They also were the village mediators between the people and the spirits. They were the tribal shamans and the priests and priestesses of the once many temples around the world. Those temples have mostly been torn down as places of superstition now. If she is one of them, then she must have truly been through hard times and extreme circumstances have driven her to make those restrictive promises. Her life may well be in a state of constant danger."

Zuko looked up as he suddenly realized that Mu-Tan knew. He knew she was a priestess. "I was thinking. Maybe if I watched over her…. Maybe if I was a shadow unseen…. I could learn more about her and maybe be there to protect her." Worried, he decided it was time to get some answers in a more subtle way, as the Blue Spirit.

Mu-Tan silently smiled inwardly at how this was going. _Yes, this young man was the perfect choice. It was a bit of a shame that his heart was getting involved._ He wondered what Zuko would think if he learned all of Faelin's secrets. He himself didn't know all of them. Would he still love her? Then he remembered one of the great vows.

_Honor is the Law._

_Love is the bond._

Mu-Tan had loved the priestess he was charged to protect. He could not save her from dying, though, when she gave birth to their son.

One step at a time. This young man was here to learn to be a warrior and an assassin. It was time to begin his real training.

To Zuko's relief, he had not damaged anything in his sifu's basement. It was down there that he began his training. That night, Zuko learned some new techniques for sneaking about and hiding in shadows. He learned how to pick all the known locks except those that required earthbending. He learned how to dress properly for stealth and spying. Mu-Tan then arranged for them to meet in few days for a daytime set of lessons, during Zuko's day off of work.

Zuko collapsed with exhaustion in bed that night, or rather early morning. He burned his arm and broke a blade in the forge the next morning since he was so tired. After some salve and bandaging, he was sent home. He trudged through the work at the Tea Shop. Then he waited after to see if he could meet up with Faelin and apologize. She never came. So he went home and ate and napped. He needed to be rested for his lessons at the dojo.

When he got there he saw Ling and Mu-Tan discussing scheduling. When they were done, Zuko was to start learning some of the Hung Gar and Kung Fu forms of martial arts. At the end of the hour, he got to sit and watch the evening class. These were young and mature men of very decent skill. Some were to enter the elite guard or the military. Some were there as sons of nobles. There were also a couple young women. Zuko watched carefully as these were going to be the new moves he would learn. He was to join them in their class from now on and their class was being moved up into Zuko's private slot. At first Zuko was not at all happy with this. Mu-Tan took him aside and explained that he wanted Zuko sparring with his peers and seeing the moves in action. Mu-Tan also wanted to be able to start Zuko on the "other" training while it was dark out. This made sense to him and he was agreed.

One night, Zuko decided to make his first excursion out to find Faelin. Six days was way too long to not see her. He was worried about her. His stomach tightened and he tried not to think of her "entertaining" other men. He prayed he did not walk in on that. He wasn't sure if he could contain himself if that happened. He acquired the proper attire for the job. Donning dark greens and blacks and browns as Mu-Tan did and pulling the tight thin leather gloves on. He checked that his face sock was tucked under the collar of his shirt and that his eyes were all that showed through. He tied on his Blue Spirit mask and strapped on his knife. Ready.

Into the night crept the Blue Spirit. He silently scaled a wall and dashed across the rooftops. When he reached the brothel where Faelin worked, He lowered himself down to the ground level. No one was anywhere near the back alley door to the storeroom. He leaned against the wall as he had done when she sucked him through. How had she done it? It was well past midnight now. There was still activity going on in the rooms above. He tried not to listen to them. It was disgraceful.

He crouched in the shadow beneath a window to his right. It was the room she had disappeared into that fateful night. He pulled out the new tools he was learning to use. Standing carefully, he peaked through the crack of the shutters. There was no glass in the window, just an outer and inner set of shutters with a simple latch. This was going to be easier that he thought. He delicately lifted the latch to the outer shutters and opened them. He secured them so they would not bang. He prayed there would be no rain till he left this excursion. The threatening clouds made him nervous. Rain now would give him away.

He peaked through the crack of the second set of shutters. There was no light on. His eyes were well adjusted though to the night and its dim lighting. Again he lifted the latch careful to make no noise. He slipped in like a cat and closed the shutters again. Slowly he turned around to take in the view of the room. Piles of clothing and sheets were all over the floor with sewing supplies. Laundry washing basins were in one corner. And some laundry hung to dry on the cord lines strung across the ceiling. In the middle of the floor was a bed mat. A figure was bundled in a thin blanket there, hands wrapped around and tucked under a makeshift pillow. Not quite shoulder length red hair spilled over Faelin's face and pillow. There was a door opposite the window he had climbed in through and a door on the side leading into the storage room he had already been in.

He brought his attention back to Faelin. She was asleep. He breathed in relief that she was not with some man in one of the upstairs rooms. She was safe down here asleep. Her breathing was long and slow, the even breathing of one in a deep sleep. His padded silently around to the other side of her so as to see her more clearly. The bruise on her cheek was fading. Good. He ached to hold her, glad that she was ok. But he refrained. He remembered the look he got for touching her unbidden. Instead, with great care, he gently tucked her hair behind her ear with one finger. She tensed and whimpered. He quickly drew back into a shadow. _She was frightened by even that touch in her sleep. What happed to her to make her like that? Who hurt her and in what way? _He didn't want to ask those questions. He was afraid of the answers. He was glad she was safe.

After watching her sleep for maybe an hour, he felt certain she would be fine this night. He slipped a note he wrote for her under her pillow. His hand hovered over her cheek without touching it. Then slowly, silently, he let himself out the window as he had come and relocked all the shutters and latches.


	16. Chapter 16: First Class

**_Chapter 16: First Class_**

Faelin woke late in the morning when the usual bang on the door startled her to alertness. Thankfully they did not open it. She was not decent in the simple sleeveless sleeping dress. As she got up, she noticed a note under her pillow. Uneasy, her eyes darted around the room to see if anything was out of place. Who was there? No one. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except the note. With slightly shaking hands she opened it.

_**Shinzui,**_

_**I am so sorry.**_

_**Please forgive me.**_

She crumpled the small note in her hands as tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Quickly she wiped them away. She hurried over to the lantern and lit it. Then she lit the note on fire and watched it burn to ash.

Zuko slept hard and almost didn't get up in time for the forge. He skipped breakfast and ran his fasted to be there. Today was a special day in the forge. He was learning how to heat and fold the metal bars over and over. This was a meticulous process. The number of folds was important for a variety of reasons that differ per blade and what that blade will be used for. Military blades were folded a certain number of times for solid strength, stability and endurance. Katanas and other sacred blades were folded a different number of time for their sharpness and fine smoothness of blade. Ceremonial blades were folded only a few times till they had a simple smooth look. The most expensive quality blades were folded with a twist that was extremely difficult to achieve, but the result was a stunning blade with a silvery blue-grey rippled look yet the most deadly sharpness that it can cut silk floating through the air and falling on the blade's edge. Zuko wanted to learn the technique. Ken was open to showing him. A firebender had the best chance at making such blades as they can firebend while folding to heat the metals just right and not have to keep moving them into coals and air and water which sometimes compromised the quality of the blade.

Zuko's head was full of technique ideas of blades all through his working at the Tea Shop. He was not yet very good at the technique, but was better than he thought. Usually things came hard for him and he had to really struggle through them. That struggle made him understand the moves and techniques possibly better than anyone else, and it has also made him the strong survivor that he is now. Never give up without a fight. That was his mantra. And no matter how hard it was or what life threw at him, he could take it. He would take it. He had a destiny and would fulfill it. However, he still needed to do some things in the mean time, like serve that wealthy man on the left his tea. Zuko sighed. Reality sometimes was so frustrating. He wondered if he would see Faelin after work. He wondered if she read his note. He wondered what the dojo was going to feel like with the whole evening class training with him. It was going to be a night of introductions and preliminary sparring just to get to know each other. Zuko was so used to training alone with one or two teachers present that this made him a little uneasy. How would he introduce himself? If Faelin forgave him and showed today, maybe she would come and watch at the dojo. He decided to go to the dojo first after work and work out a bit before looking for her.

While in the dojo, Zuko practiced the first few new moves and fell flat on his back. Growling, he got up and did it again. Over and over he struggled through the moves. He was glad no one there to see him fail repeatedly like this. He took a deep breath and knelt in meditation for a few moments to try to calm his mind. Then he did a walking meditation around the room. He came to a halt at the center of the room again. Looking in the mirror he finally took notice of his reflection. Who was that looking back at him? That young man was lean, whip lean, well muscled and not the teen boy he remembered seeing when he last saw his own reflection. He had been so busy with everything he never wanted to look in the mirrors here. He often hated the scar and what it reminded him of. That was no teen boy looking back him now. Nor was it the gaunt tired hungry young man from the desert. That was a scary memory. He was hungry for so long and not training that he had lost a good deal of his bulk and muscle. Now he was honed. He closed his eyes. Now he was fit and capable of training well and hard like anyone in this dojo. He opened his eyes and went through all the moves he knew well and ended with carefully exploring the new moves, not rushing through them. He cleaned himself up in the changing room for boys and headed out to find Faelin.

He walked and walked and walked, but Zuko did not see Faelin anywhere. He bought a quick meal and ate it while walking. He finally had to give up for the moment or he would be late. He did not want to show up late at the dojo, especially with all these other people there. He was nervous. Were they judgmental? They likely would be. They knew more than he in some ways, and some were from the Upper Ring. He came in as several others arrived. Most had their own uniform. Zuko and only a very small handful borrowed uniforms from the trunks. Already Zuko was embarrassed. If he worked some extra hours, maybe he could earn enough extra money to get his own uniform.

There were eighteen "elite" men in the room and one woman. Then there was Zuko, his sifu and Ling. Zuko was not sure if he would remember everyone's names, but their faces he made a point of memorizing. The woman had her blue-black hair pulled up in a short horsetail. She stood by Ling and Zuko saw the family resemblance right away. Both stern but not quite cold, both quiet, both likely very deadly. Her name was Kozue. The other name that struck him was a young man about Zuko's age with a fine strong build and elegant charming speech. He was from the Upper Ring and had a lovely couple of young ladies sitting on the bench to watch. Zuko wondered if Faelin would ever watch him in here. This man was definitely handsome. Even Zuko had to admit that. What annoyed him, though, was that the young man seemed to know it. His name was Travahar and he would smile that kind of grin that said he was better than you were. Zuko already did not like this one and they quietly glared at each other from across the mats. Golden eyes watched eyes of green fire.

Zuko was held aside with Kozue to just watch. They were asked to take the kneeling meditation pose and watch with care. Mu-Tan and Ling then worked the others through the forms and paired them all off for practice sparring. Ling stepped in to spar with the bigger men. Ling was a very broad shouldered man shaved bald and when he decided he was not going to be moved, it was like he did earthbending to root his feet to the ground. The younger or more lithe men worked together. Kozue was then asked in to help guide the ones having more trouble. This was to include Zuko who was to practice what he learned last night and maybe learn a few more moves. Mu-Tan showed a new form to the others. Zuko envied how Travahar seemed to get it right away, like a prodigy, like his sister, Azula. In the frustration of that thought, he slammed his sparring opponent into the ground harder than intended. Kozue had Zuko pinned before he blinked. "You, pupil, will mind what you are learning. That was NOT the moves you were to practice," Her voice was soft as silk, and yet sharp as a blade. As Zuko stood and collected his ego off the floor, he saw Travahar smirk condescendingly at him.

Everyone parted for the night and Travahar left with a woman on each arm talking lightly with each and giving each equal attention. They were captivated. Zuko slowly burned with growing hatred. Mu-Tan put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "The past is not the present. Leave him. You will be able to spar with him before you know it. Now, come and walk. I want to bring your focus back to here, back to this dojo and these mats." Zuko took a deep breath and tried to let go of that internal monster that growled inside him.

Zuko was drilled more that night in the forms he was learning. He sparred with Kozue for practice. He had already learned his lesson from her. She was no student. After the hour alone with the three of them, Zuko was exhausted and sweating and decidedly hating the tatami mats. He was either face down or flat on his back on them more often than not. He wanted to keep going. He wanted to get SOMETHING right. He was beginning to despair that he wasn't going to get it at all. "Lee, watch the mirrors a bit and see how you are moving. Kozue, go through the forms slowly. Watch her, Lee. Do it beside her. Use the mirrors as a guide. They are here for that reason, so you can see yourself doing the forms and self-correct," Mu-Tan instructed. Zuko hadn't really realized that and felt very stupid.

So for yet another hour he mirrored Kozue through the simple Hung Gar forms. She was so serene, at home with those moved and never seemed to tire. "How do you do that?" asked Zuko.

Kozue: "Do what?"

Zuko: "Go all night like this and not look tired."

Kozue grinned a grin that gave away her young age, she wasn't much older than he. Then she quickly reschooled her expression into a serene mask. "Practice." Her eyes were surprisingly blue. Maybe her mother was from a water tribe? Ling's, he then noticed were almost blue, more like Faelin's.

Mu-Tan: "She conserves her energy through her moves; while you are throwing yourself into yours. She saves the energy for when she really needs it. It is like… folding the metal of a blade. You stay patient and slowly release the force so you do not over work the tool, namely your body."

Zuko thought about this while he did a walking meditation around the interior of the dojo. He paused at the shrine and was temped to firebend the incenses alight. He didn't, but he did come to a sitting meditation in the middle of the room while Ling said goodbye to his daughter. Mu-Tan joined Zuko in meditation.

It was getting late and Zuko wanted to get home and change and check in on Faelin. He still had not seen her today. Did she get his note? Did someone else find it? Does she hate him?


	17. Chapter 17: I Spy Clouds and Rain

_**Chapter 17: I Spy Cloud and Rain**_

Once again, Zuko crept out as the Blue Spirit. His uncle, he thought was asleep. Zuko crept back out to Faelin's room. There was a little light streaming through the crack of her window shutters. He pressed himself against the wall beside the window. This time last night, she was very much asleep. Maybe she was mad at him and was foolishly trying to stay awake in case he came back. _Smart woman,_ Zuko grumbled. _Maybe she was with someone?_ He suddenly felt like he swallowed a hunk of the metal from the forge.

He pressed his ear to the shutter and listened. He could just barely hear movement and the sound of water. He frowned. Maybe she was washing laundry? At this hour?! He decided to take a chance and peak through the crack in the window shutters. He froze for a whole second or maybe five seconds and then nearly slammed himself back against the wall. His cheeks burned. He should not have seen that. He really should not have seen that. Next time he notices light, he will not look. Ashamed, he quickly fled back home.

However, the image of what he saw would not leave him. He would lie on his bed mat and stare at the ceiling. He would close his eyes trying to will himself to sleep and the vision would return to make his cheeks burn again.

Her back had been to the window. A deep burgundy blanket or sheet was draped around her waste, spilling over the floor. It barely covered the roundness of her hips. Zuko shook his head. He rolled over. Her tattoos were honey brown and all over her body in intricate patterns. He never knew. There was a large pattern that covered the entirety of her back with the point coming up the back of her neck. The pattern curled over her shoulders to coil around her arms like wide ribbons. He had caught a glimpse of her bare leg. The tattoos were there too, coiling around her thigh. He took another deep breath and rolled over the other way. He had caught her sponge bathing. He swallowed. He should not have seen that. It was wrong of him. In his defense, he had never realized. She was so exotic with her red hair and ocean blue eyes. He had never realized all the tattoo work upon her body. The will she must have exerted to endure having it done. The stunning beauty of it. The stunning beauty of her. He threw himself onto his back again and chastised himself for thinking this. He tried to shut the image out of his mind. He gave up after five more minutes and took an icy cold bath. He was ashamed to have broken that privacy. He was glad she had not noticed him. He partly wished he could cover her up in his mind, to protect her and her beauty. He went to bed again and slept restlessly.

Zuko woke with his bed mat soaked in sweat. He felt confused. It took him a few minutes to remember that he was in the Ba Sing Se hut with his uncle. The sun was not yet up, not that anyone would know through the dark clouds. It felt like morning though. The chill was shifting into mugginess. He got up and cleaned his bedroom to the meticulousness he preferred. Then meditated and stretched. The rib no longer ached. After a quick bath, he sat at the table with breakfast as his uncle was reading a note with great pride. There were other notes on the table, not yet opened.

Zuko: "What is it, Uncle?"

Iroh looked at his nephew, raised an eyebrow, smirked to himself then continued reading. "You had a busy night, nephew. I think we will take a day off of everything and share some quality time together." He handed the first note over to Zuko to read.

As Zuko read, his eyes widened.

Iroh: "Apparently your blades were excellent. Why didn't you tell me you were training at this every morning? He will be sending you a portion of what they sell for."

Zuko was stunned. He had to read the note again. Fo-ji and Ken were closing the forge today for a week while they took the blades made so far up to the market area in the Middle Ring. There they would sell them. AND they felt that several of the blades Zuko had made in his training were good enough. Zuko wondered how much he would get for them. _Would it be enough to buy a uniform?_

Iroh handed Zuko a bundled roll of parchments tied with string. LEE was written on the tag. He frowned in confusion and opened it. It was several sheets of odd child drawings. There was also tentative first writing, too. Zuko could not help the small smile of pride that lit his face. Ty-min was writing her name and his. There was a letter attached in more legible script. It essentially said that Ty-min was doing well. She was learning some writing and loves to draw. He sleeps with her dolly every night and will not go anywhere without it or the little pouch he had given her. No one is allowed to touch the pouch or Ty-min loses her mind in screaming fits and tears. But otherwise, she was fine. She misses him so very much and asks to see him every day. The letter went on to say that they felt it was a really good idea for Ty-min to join the dojo twice a week, but were concerned about the fees. Zuko suddenly hoped that the money he would receive for the blades would be enough for two uniforms. Zuko handed over the papers for his uncle to see. Well handed over all but two. One was a picture of him and Ty-min that she drew. The other was the best of her writing that had both their names on the same paper. He wandered into his room and stuck them up on a wall with her very first drawing, walking out with that same proud smile still on his face.

They walked over to the Tea Shop and arranged for replacements for their shifts and took a long long walk all around the Lower Ring. Zuko was still wondering what his uncle had planned. They stopped at a few places where there were scrolls and his uncle went in to buy some. "Yes, indeed nephew. You had quite a night and now I think it is time we talked about you being a man. And the things men need to know." Zuko started to go beet red. He handed a scroll to Zuko to read, as they sat by the Fountain of Lights.

The scroll was poetry. Zuko gave his uncle a quirky look wondering what poetry had to do with anything, especially being a man. His uncle just insisted that Zuko read it. So he did.

One read like this:

_How fair, the lingering clouds!  
How misty, the seasonal rain!  
Darkness fills the universe,  
Blurring the level pathway._

_(from: read like this:_

_Open wide the door of heaven!_

_On a black cloud I ride in splendour,_

_Bidding the whirlwind drive before me,_

_Causing the rainstorm to lay the dust._

_(from http://web. blushed furiously, "UNCLE! This is pornographic!"_

Iroh: "OH good! You understand the clouds and rain symbolism! Then I don't have to explain it to you. Maybe then we should go visit one of those red lantern houses you mentioned instead."

Zuko thought he would just die. He could not believe his uncle was saying this. He stood and stumbled through what he was trying to say. Finally, he shoved the poetry back at his uncle. "NO! No. no no no." How could his uncle be so embarrassing?!

Iroh chuckled and patted his nephew on the back. "Then why don't we go see your new girlfriend and ask her out to an early supper with us. I still haven't met her."

There was going to be no getting out of this. His uncle was going to be his shadow. Zuko sighed with humiliation. He hoped for once that Faelin was NOT around. The gods and ancestors only knew what his uncle would say or do. Zuko was already dreading it as they walked to the Craftsmen's District.

Zuko: "She's NOT my girlfriend!"

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "Well, what exactly is she then, Nephew?"

Zuko cast his eyes to the ground. His jaw muscles tightened as a variety of emotions were trying to establish dominance. As he looked to his uncle again, it seemed that regret won the battle. "I…" He looked down again. "I don't know."

The dark clouds issued out a foggy light mist, but it did not deter anyone from their errands. Not even Faelin. This was likely one of the few times she will be doing daytime errands anymore. And any of those will be heavily watched. She worried about what would happen if Zuko showed up.

Iroh and Zuko wandered passed a few artisan huts and shops. Zuko paused at the paper and calligraphy supply shop remembering how Faelin had stood so long and wishfully there before that sumo guy dragged her off. "There she is, nephew!" Zuko groaned. Iroh clapped him on the shoulder. "Oh my, she is carrying lots of stuff. You should go help her."

Iroh sat at one of the tables under the canopy of Wu Wong's Soup and Noodles Restaurant. When Zuko was half-way to Faelin, he hollered to Zuko, "Don't forget to invite her over for early supper."

Faelin looked up as Zuko approached and Iroh's voice was clear across the street. Zuko was trying to control the redness in his face. When she looked at him as he approached, he swallowed, willing last nights image of her OUT of his head. She almost dropped the rolls of tapestries she was carrying along with several bags of food and other things. Zuko caught them and took them from her. He felt ashamed at himself again when she took a step back from him to keep him out of arms reach of her. "Faelin." He wasn't sure what to say. "Did, did you get my note?"

Faelin clipped her words quietly at him. "You should not have done that. What if I was not alone? What if someone saw you? You would have gotten into trouble. I would have gotten into trouble."

Zuko was feeling a little cross with her already. "That is exactly why I was there. I was worried about you. In case someone was deciding to be with you."

Faelin: "I can take care of myself. I have been doing it long enough."

Zuko stepped toward her and stopped. She tensed and stepped back again. He took a breath. _Be patient like a mountain._ "Faelin, please. I … I don't want to fight." There was a pause that lasted several minutes. He had not realized he was holding his breath until she spoke.

"Neither do I," She said quietly. He exhaled with relief, glad that she didn't hate him.

Zuko: "My uncle is here."

Faelin: "I noticed… as did everyone else."

"He wants to invite you to supper with us." Before she could reply he said, "Please say you are too busy."

She stifled a little smile and snicker. Then she said with great seriousness, "I am too busy. And… I am being watched." Zuko shifted the three rolls of tapestry in his arms. As he did so he got a good look around the area. Indeed, that big sumo guy was there watching. "I have to go. Please don't follow me."

Zuko helped resettle the tapestries into her arms so she could manage everything. "Can we talk again sometime?"

Her eyes met his and he saw no hatred there, just sadness. "I don't know. I am not going to be doing many daytime errands like this anymore. I am shifted to night work and errands."

Night work. Zuko wondered what that exactly meant. "I am training at the Tattoi Ryuu Dojo in the evenings after supper. And Ty-min will be there before supper, so… um… you can find me there if you have a chance. Do you know where it is?"

Faelin: "Yes. I will try. I have to go now. Excuse me for not bowing, goodbye."

He bowed to her honorably and watched her walk away. Zuko wondered to himself. _What is she to me? She is not my girlfriend. Is she? At least she does not hate me. But… she is still afraid of me… like a frightened kitten. Will I ever be able to be patient as a mountain?_ He set his jaw and decided that yes… for her… he will be patient as a mountain. He walked back to tell his uncle she was too busy. Part of him was so glad to be spared that embarrassment of eating with her and having to listen to his uncle too. And part of him missed her so much that he wished she had said yes.


	18. Chapter 18: Adversaries & Quiet Promises

**_Chapter 18: Adversaries & Quiet Promises_**

As Zuko and his uncle arrived at the dojo, Zuko tried to convince his uncle to be somewhere else. Iroh simply insisted that he has seen so little of his nephew that he intended to see what he was learning. As one of his teachers, he said he was entitled. Zuko could not argue that. They were early. Mu-Tan looked at Iroh as they entered the dojo. Zuko suddenly felt like he was caught in the crossfire of something invisible and deadly. Iroh simply smiled, bowed and turned his back to the dojo to inspect the new tapestry. Feeling again awkward and uncertain, Zuko tentatively asked his sifu, "Is it alright if my uncle stays?"

Mu-Tan weighed the options before answering. "Yes, of course. If he knows something of the arts, and feels still in form, you both may use this extra time before the others arrive to practice."

Iroh raised an eyebrow without turning around. He noted the inscription on the silver ring in the dragon's mouth on the tapestry. Slowly and deliberately he turned and bowed respectfully to Mu-Tan. "Thank you. I am honored by your permission to work with my nephew and pupil when you have no class in here."

Zuko felt the air heavy and hot. He sensed there was a great deal more going on than what was obvious. It was as if there were two conversations happening. He was hearing the one they were speaking. They were hearing a different one. As if, they spoke in a code that was just on the edge of battle and Zuko was in the middle. He could almost feel a great red dragon and a great green dragon coiling and poised ready to strike at each other… and he was in the middle. "I will go get changed." Blessed escape! He hoped there was a dojo to come back to.

When he returned, the two men were meditating on the tatami mat. Mu-Tan handed something to Zuko's uncle. Zuko squinted, but could not tell what it was. Mu-Tan excused himself for dinner. He left with this warning, "We have a rule here. There is to be no bending in the dojo."

Iroh was pleased to see his nephew looking very fit and ready for hard training. He worked with Zuko through all the moves familiar to them both. Iroh was even more impressed at how well Zuko had mastered them. He wanted to see it all with firebending. His nephew must truly be a sight to see with the strikes and kicks. He imagined the flames as Zuko worked through the forms.

Having worked up a sweat, Zuko walked off the built tensions. The walking meditation was now his favorite meditation technique. It allowed him to slowly come down from the high energy of the Shaolin arts. He went and got a towel from the changing room and wiped himself down. Then he returned to the mats for a kneeling meditation. He missed training with his uncle like this. His uncle patted his shoulder and then sat on the bench as the others started milling in. Zuko noticed that Kozue was not there. He was partly relieved. At least he would not get his butt kicked by a girl tonight. The other students joined him in the kneeling meditation.

Bao Li came into the dojo, quickly stepped out of his shoes and hurried across to the office to speak to Mu-Tan and Ling. Then he left in just as much of a hurry. Mu-Tan stepped out onto the mat and addressed the class. "I am sorry. An emergency has come up. I must leave immediately. Ling will take over today's class. Today he is sifu. Respect him as such. I will see you all later." He headed up the stairs, grabbed a small duffle bag and was off.

Several of the students started talking all concerned, speculating and whispering. It was Travahar who spoke up in a clear voice. "There is still a sifu in the dojo and on the mat." Everyone suddenly quieted and returned to their meditation as Ling came to join them.

Ling separated the class into two groups. In front were the students learning the basics or struggling with them. In the back were the more experienced students. He asked them to work through their newer katas and forms, repeatedly until he said otherwise. Meanwhile, he walked among them correcting things here or there, advising, and sometimes doing a little one-on-one sparring to help students learn or hone a move.

Once he had seen each student, the sweat was pouring off them all. He had them walk through a meditation and then sit as a group to breathe and listen. Every class from now on would follow this format. Working through old and new moves, they were to use the mirrors while they solo practice or have a moment of one-on-one with a sifu. Following this would be a short lecture and some water to rehydrate. The class would end with mixed free sparring.

"Tonight I want to tell you about jing." Ling brought out a tray of sand and drew the sign for the word in it for everyone to see. "It can be pronounced a variety of ways depending on where you have lived. Jing. Ching. Jin. Qing. This is a lesson that all earthbenders learn, as well as any real master of the arts. There are options in fighting, called jing. It's a choice of how you direct your energy. There are 85 jings to learn, but we will start with the first three. These three are most important for earthbending."

A student, concerned and confused, raised a fact. "But none of us are earthbenders."

Ling: "They still apply to non-earthbenders. Besides… where do you think they learned it? Non-earthbenders were around before earthbenders. Back to the jings. The first is positive jing, which is the energy used for attacking. The second is negative jing, which is the energy used for retreating. The third is neutral jing, when you do nothing."

Zuko: "And how exactly is that useful in a fight?"

Ling: "Because it involves listening and waiting for the right moment to strike. It is often the most difficult jing to learn as it requires great patience… the patience of stone and mountains. I want you to meditate on these principals for the week. We will come back to it at the end of the week."

They all got up and drank water from the spout in the office then did another walking meditation. Ling paired them up. The pairs would rotate to different partners every 20 minutes for the next two hours. He then set aside the tray of sand and brought out a timer with sand in it. "BOW!" Everyone bowed to their partner. "SPAR!" and he turned the timer over to start the sand.

It was fast and furious with moments that lasted a lifetime in between. The adrenalin was rushing through their veins as each student fought using the moves they were most comfortable with, and sometimes throwing in a new move. Zuko was the element of surprise for each sparring as he was using his Shaolin moves which he was a master of. Sometime he used a new move if he was with a less experienced fighter, it gave him a chance to breathe and try new things. He wasn't being competitive. He just wanted to learn it. He could tell by his opponent's pivot that a roundhouse kick was coming and reacted to block or knock his opponent's bracing foot out from under him.

When Zuko came to spar with Travahar, the whole energy changed. They glared at each other like young dragons out for blood. There was no time to think in this match. Such time taken would end with bruises. All Zuko's focus was on his opponent. Travahar was good, almost as good at Hung Gar as Zuko was at Shaolin. Travahar was the competitive type. Travahar struck. Zuko blocked. Zuko spun and kicked low. Travahar leapt and slammed forwards. The fight was almost by instinct. Zuko tried to watch for openings. His chance came when he did a Rolling Flame floor sweeping kick and knocked Travahar's feet out. Travahar landed on his back and sprang back to his feet with remarkable agility. His green eyes narrowed. Zuko could see that Travahar was going to take that personally. Zuko tried to spot another opening. None came. It was obvious watching them that their moves came naturally, born out of long years of training. Zuko feinted right. Travahar stepped in for closer combat. This was Zuko's weakness. His Shaolin was great for large sweeping moves with weapons. Hung gar was good for staying stable and solid even in close combat. Travahar used Zuko's spin from the feint to grab him in arm locks. They struggled. Zuko tried to get under Travahar enough to flip him over his shoulder and off. Travahar was like a bear and as unmovable as a wall. Zuko repeated in his mind the most important rule, no bending. NO BENDING. But, he could not get out of the grip of this taller broader-shouldered young man. It was like a mountain swallowed him! He felt Travahar's heaving breath in his ear. Travahar was tiring. HOPE. Zuko kept up the struggle. Then Travahar broke a rule of the dojo. The rule of honor and respect on the mat at all times. Travahar whispered in Zuko's ear so only Zuko could here. "I will make you eat mat, peasant. And give you a pretty new scar to match the other."

Zuko stopped struggling. He started to relax his muscles as he took in deeper and deeper breaths. Travahar frowned and then realized what Zuko was doing. He was preparing a Ch'i Break where you relax and gather your breathe then fill your muscles suddenly with tension to surprise your attacker and break the hold. Travahar released Zuko and hit a hard blow to Zuko's shoulder instead. When Zuko spun from the force of the hit, Travahar pounced on him, flattening Zuko to the mat face first.

Ling shouted, "ENOUGH!"

Iroh was standing with a scowl sure something dishonorable passed between the two young men. Travahar got off Zuko and stood with his slightly smug smile. Zuko stood and rubbed his shoulder, glaring at Travahar. Zuko would have to practice more to understand the Hung Gar moves better if he was going to defeat Travahar. The two then bowed to each other. Ling called it a night and sent them all on their way. Zuko changed and walked out with his uncle. Iroh complimented Zuko on his restraint and honor. He told him of the moves that were new that he did so well in and made some suggestions. The bonus to having his uncle there that evening was that Zuko got to hear a list of some of Travahar's observed strengths and weaknesses from someone who was watching and not in the middle of the fight. This was very valuable information. Zuko would think more on it. Right now though, He wanted to get home and bathe. He almost fell asleep in that hot bath. That was the hardest class he had had in a long time. Even though he lost that fight, it felt REALLY good to be challenged. He collapsed in bed after that.

The next day, Zuko slept in a bit and was greeted with a very hot bath and salve for his shoulder. Today he loved his uncle. Every muscle and joint was aching, especially the shoulder. He soaked most of the aches away and sat still for his uncle to rub in the salve. A note arrived for Zuko to pick up Ty-min from the tram station later that afternoon. Today was going to be her first day at the dojo.

After work in the Tea Shop, he hurried out to meet Ty-min. She threw herself at him with a huge trusting hug. He picked her up and returned the hug then set her on her feet again. They walked to the Fountain of Lights. She bounced and danced and babbled about all the things she had seen and done. She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the Fountain where she was amazed and touched the water. She continued her babble all the way to the dojo. There he gave her a tour and told her the rules. She met Mu-Tan and bowed honorably to him. Mu-Tan smiled and bowed back. Zuko went to sit on the bench as the other children arrived. He just watched as they learned meditation and basic forms and katas. The corners of his mouth stayed curled up the whole time. He was not sure what he felt inside watching her. Perhaps it was pride. He was glad he could give this to her. He had assured the people caring for her that he would cover any costs incurred by her lessons. Afterwards, he brought her to the tram where ManYee's daughter met her. He grabbed a quick meal and headed back to the dojo.

This time his sifu was there and the class progressed much the same as the night before. Travahar behaved better. The sparring was more controlled, barely. Afterwards, Mu-Tan asked Zuko to come back in two hours. This was a good time to look for Faelin. She was supposed to be working the night. Let it be running errands. Then he remembered Fong's gang. _Gods, let it be doing laundry!_ Zuko saw Travahar wander into one of the brothels. He was less and less impressed with this young nobleman.

Finally he was rewarded for his searching! He trotted up to Faelin. She shied from him before she fully realized it was him. She still kept him at arm's length. _Be patient as a mountain_ he told himself. He just walked in silence with her like an escort guard. She delivered messages and notes. She visited an herbalist for teas and medicines. Once all that was done, she breathed a relaxed breath and leaned a moment against the wall of a building.

Zuko: "Faelin? I really am sorry for the other week."

"I know…… you scared me by coming in and leaving that note." She was worried by what he might have seen. She was worried about what he might think or what he might have discovered. "You could have warned me. I might have been bathing or changing."

Hurriedly he interrupted, "I would never look in on you then! That would be dishonorable." He blushed. "But, I want to make sure you are safe when you sleep," remembering the occasional facial bruise she sported. There was a long pause while they both leaned with their backs against the wall, side by side at arm's distance.

Faelin: "Thank you. But I don't want you to be caught."

Zuko grinned smugly. "I won't be." Again the silence fell between them. Zuko stayed still watching the surrounding area for Fong's men, not wanting THEM to interrupt this.

Faelin: "I have to go now. I tried waiting for you at the dojo… but you were in there longer than I expected."

Shyly he replied, "You could have come in." There was an awkward pause.

Faelin: "Will you be watching over my sleep again tonight?"

Zuko: "Do you want me to?"

Faelin thought about it for a few moments, not really wanting to leave now, but knowing she must. "It is not safe… but…"

Zuko: "I'll be there. I promise."

They parted ways and he returned to the dojo.

So, for the week, Zuko pursued a new routine. He was up as usual, but instead of going to the forge, he was out at the old warehouse basement. There he had the kids either throw rocks at him or tackle him to help him work through the Hung Gar forms and horse stance. His routine continued with the Tea Shop. Then practice training alone in the dojo till the kids arrived for their before-supper class. He would then head out for his own supper and walk it off before his class in the dojo.

When he asked about fees, Mu-Tan merely said that Zuko will work it off. Mu-Tan had a job for him, but wanted more information before assigning it to him. It was going to be a spy/assassin job, Zuko was sure of it. He had been learning other techniques in the evenings and was provided with a night uniform of better quality than the makeshift one he had been using. Mu-Tan also gave him wrist blades which Kozue would teach him to use later. Mu-Tan's next lessons would be to teach Zuko how to use his twin swords even in cramped places.

Zuko spent the nights, watching over Faelin in her sleep. He was especially careful not to come in if he saw light there, not even to peak, just in case. If she stirred awake, he quietly spoke from his hiding place, "sleep easy, Shinzui." Her night terrors always bothered him. He wanted to put his hand on her shoulder and ease her stress. He could not forget the frightened look she had given him a few weeks ago. When she is ready, when she is comfortable, she will let him know that she trusts him to be that close. For now, he will be patient as a mountain. He vowed to be. After two days, he decided to drop the morning training and sleep. Staying up all night to watch over her, he needed the early morning to sleep.

Iroh had cornered him one morning when he was arriving home from his guarding of Faelin. "Zuko, you are out all night. I know you are not sharing a bed with the ladies of the red lantern houses. You are not dressed for that. What are you doing? Fong had better not be who you are stalking. I warned you to stay out of that."

Zuko replied tiredly, "No, Uncle. Nothing like that. I am just, watching over someone."

Iroh: "You are being a peeping tomcat?! ZUKO!"

Zuko: "No Uncle! She knows I am there. She... she's not living in a safe area. I am protecting her. I don't want to lose her like Ty-min lost her mother."

Iroh suddenly understood. His nephew was in love and worried about his girlfriend. He thought about teasing him, but Zuko looked like he was going to drop asleep standing there in the main room. Iroh steered his nephew to bed immediately and didn't bring up the issue again. At least, not till the next morning when he asked, "What do you intend to do about the forge? You are one person, Zuko. And a man needs his rest, especially if he is protecting his beloved all night long."

Zuko gave up that argument. He figured that Faelin could be considered his girlfriend. It just, well, wasn't like a normal relationship. It was... complicated.


	19. Chapter 19: Changes

_Author's Notes:_

_For Kate – Tu peux me parler en Francais! Je suis de Quebec aussi! Though my first language is English._

**_Chapter 19: Changes _**

After the night class as everyone left on their way, Travahar picked a new red lantern brothel to explore. Meanwhile, Zuko walked Faelin on her errands until he had to return for another set of night lessons with his sifu. As they parted, she caught his hand briefly and then dashed off. He rubbed his thumb against the fingers of the same hand she touched as a peaceful smile softened his expression. He watched her dash off so she would not be late. Now, it was to darker business for him, assassin training with his sifu.

Mu-Tan was teaching him to use the twin blades in the small spaces, like rooms. He used earthbending to bring up walls in the large stone basement of the dojo and help give the feel of the alleys. Then they went up to the roof and sparred there a bit and in the alley in the back of the dojo. It took some discipline to keep his strokes shorter and less sweeping, smooth and close to his body. The wide sweeping swings he could use on the rooftops.

Faelin hurried in through the front door of the red lantern house that she worked in and ran headlong into Travahar. She backed up very quickly, bowing and apologizing. The big sumo guy at the door pulled back her hood and told her to apologize properly to such a nobleman. Travahar's eyes widened a bit at the sight of her and her red hair. She knelt onto the floor and bowed slowly and respectfully low. Her eyes never met his and thus were saved his crude explicit look of appreciation. He was already wondering what color all the rest of her hair would be, if the rumors were true. She hurried off around him to report the appointment list she settled that night for the escorting ladies. His eyes followed her as though he was touching her with them. She hid in her laundry room after that panting, not daring to step out again. She prayed Zuko would come and guard her soon… before that nobleman could convince the house master to bring her out on the block with the other ladies. She did not want to service anyone, especially not a cocky nobleman like that. "Please Zuko… Come soon," she whispered out loud as she sank to the floor in the darkest corner, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them.

Hours later, Zuko slipped in through the window into Faelin's dark room. He froze as his heart suddenly skipped a beat. The bed mat was empty. Low thunder rumbled outside. He scanned the room with eyes that were already well adjusted to the low lighting. In the far right corner, he saw her, knees drawn up, arms around them, face buried in her arms. She hadn't even taken off her cloak. He frowned. _What had happened? Was she hurt?_ He crept closer. All was quiet in the building. He wished he was not so late. He cursed himself for not being here much earlier. He couched down in front of her. She was asleep. That was a relief. Why was she here, like this, and not in bed asleep as usual? He reached out to touch her and hesitated. He got closer so that he could quiet her if she screamed out of startlement. He reached both hands toward her, one poised to cover her mouth and the other to touch her shoulder.

Good thing too! The second his hand came down gently onto her shoulder, her head shot up and she nearly screamed. He moved fast. He clamped his hand over her mouth and his other hand on the back of her neck to hold her still. Her eyes were wide with fright. "Shhhhh… Shinzui… Faelin… it's me. Shhhhh." She stopped trying to scream and struggle when he spoke and she recognized him. She was still very tense and starting to shake. He lowered his hands and opened his arms to show that he was not touching her. She was like a small knotted ball.

"Zuko?" She half whispered half whimpered. She unfolded and suddenly her arms were around his neck and her face buried in his shoulder. She was still shaking.

He cautiously and awkwardly wrapped his arms around her to steady her shaking. What had happened to frighten her so? "Are you hurt?" She did not seem to be hurt. She just continued to cling to him like he was a lifeline. He settled himself more comfortably and just held her. "It's ok, Faelin. I am here now." She was still shaking. It worried him. He took a chance and stroked her hair and back, trying to soothe her. Slowly, ever so slowly the shaking faded. The thunder rose to great thunderclaps outside as though it gathered up her frayed nerves. Then the rain poured heavily outside. He held her gathered in his lap until she was calm. He thought she might pull away once she fully relaxed and regained her senses, but she didn't. She stayed there, secure in his arms. He didn't dare move or speak. He didn't dare lose this moment of utter trust. The questions hammered in his mind. He ignored them. _Be patient,_ he told himself. _Patient as a mountain._ This was one of those moments where he could not believe the change in her. He last knew someone who would not tolerate a single injustice, never give up without a fight. And here, in his arms, was the same woman, enduring untold injustices without any fight at all, a broken spirit. A year ago, he would have hated her as a coward for behaving like this. Now… now, he wanted to find that strong willed priestess and remind her of who she was.

Zuko stayed still holding Faelin all through the remainder of the night, even past his body aching. She fell asleep there in his arms. He listened to her breathing, as well as the noises of the building. When there was creaking above his head, he whispered her name in her ear. She stirred and he helped her drowsily to her bed mat. As she curled up there, he covered her with a blanket. He still had so many questions. The more he was with her, the more questions came up, and the fewer answers he found. _Where is the Faelin I once knew? _He asked himself. _Is she still in there somewhere?_ She must be for the times he and her spat angrily at each other sometimes in the street. _What has happened to her to change her so much?_ Has he himself changed so much, too? He slipped out of the building into the dark torrential storm and headed home to the waiting hot bath.

Zuko's sleep that morning was restless. He wanted to be holding her again. He wanted to chase away the night terrors. He wanted to be there always for her. He wanted her out of that place and here safe with him. But, what could he really offer her? What did he want to do? He couldn't afford to take care of Ty-min. How could he possibly think to take care of her? If he were back home as heir… then he could. Yes. That destiny. How could he complete that quest upon him for his honor? He sighed and rolled over. For now, he was doing everything he could and had another small victory. She had curled up in his arms and even slept there. It was a sour tasting victory though because of the circumstances that drove her to his arms. What were they? What happened? Would she ever tell him? _Yup… this was a complicated relationship._

Before sleep took him, thank the gods the day was his day off and he could sleep as long as he wanted, he reminded himself that Ty-min would be coming the next day for her dojo lesson and he would be needed at the forge. Hopefully there was a decent amount of money there. The month changing marked a time of many changes. He wondered what he would do at the solstice. Did he ever do anything before? He thumped his head against his pillow trying to shut his mind up so he could sleep.

"Nephew?" Iroh called gently at Zuko's bedroom door. "I am going to work. A messenger here for you. He left a package. I sent him away."

Zuko growl and snarled and grumbled. He threw his pillow at the door. The pillow erupted into flames and turned to ash halfway across the room. Zuko had already rolled over.

The rain was still drumming against the roof tiles. The sound of dripping finally annoyed Zuko enough to wake him sometime close to noon. He realized it was not dripping sounds but the sound of a stead small stream of water. Confused, he opened his door to the main room and stepped out. Icy water trickled in a steady small stream alright, right over his head and onto the floor. With a yell of surprise, he leapt away. The main room was now flooded. He quickly grabbed the bathing tub and set it under the leak. Looking at it all annoyed. This was his sifu's fault. The earthbending that had gone on in there weakened that spot in the roof and now it was leaking. Grumpily he cleaned up the main room. He had no idea what he was going to do once the bath basin was full. He stared at the leak again, thinking.

Figuring he would get soaked to the bone anyways, he stepped outside in only his pants. At least this way only his pants got wet. He climbed onto the roof as the rain beat down on him hard. He slipped a few times but never fell. He noticed that he was not the only crazy person on the roof of his home searching for a leak. The others, however, seemed to have extra tiles, or wood or at least cloth to stop up the hole or lesson their leaks. Grumbling more, he went back inside. He paced the wet floor when an idea came to mind. He took one of the metal plates. His uncle might be upset with him for this, as these metal dinner plates were sometimes expensive. Well, tough. Maybe next time his uncle will think to have the roof checked after he has war with an earthbender in the house.

Again, Zuko climbed onto the roof with the metal plate. He found the leak. It was obvious. He looked around to see if anyone could see him clearly. The rain was so heavy and it was so dark that you could just barely make out the figures on other roofs and only the rooftops very close to you. Zuko shivered. It was also cold out. He wondered if this rain would turn to snow. Remembering his Breath of Fire, he kept his body temperature up till he was nice and warm. He placed the metal plate over the hole. Then placed his hand flat over the plate and heated it slowly like when he did the firebending at the forge. The plate became soft and melted to fill the hole as it hissed when the rain hit it. It was not a pretty patch, but at least the hole in the roof was patched. Feeling rather proud of himself for such an ingenious solution, he went back inside.

The bath basin was full to just the right height for a bath. Zuko smiled smugly. He finished cleaning the house and drying the floor. Then he used a little firebending and heated the bath water. He stripped down and stepped into the hot water with a sigh. Twenty odd days till the solstice and Zuko wondered if Ba Sing Se ever got snow. It was definitely cold but just rainy. What a weather change!

After dressing and disposing of the water in the bath basin, he sat with a tea to look at the message and package. It was from Ken. Quickly he opened the letter. The package was the money his blades fetched at the market. Zuko opened the package. It was a leather pouch. Inside was coin packed with cloth so it did not rattle. Smart, that way no one would know that the messenger carried money. He would remember that trick. He was amazed at the amount! What was the cut they gave him for his rough blades? How much did they actually fetch? Were they really that good? For once, he felt like he really did something right. It was a good feeling inside. He wanted to laugh… but he refrained from the silliness of it.

Donning the good oiled cloak that he got from Faelin, he headed out to spend some of this money! He then realized that he had no idea where to get what he wanted. The Middle Ring most likely. He stopped. Most of the folks from the Lower Ring were not permitted to mingle in the Middle or Upper Rings. Was there a clothing place here somewhere? He passed by the Tea Shop to ask his uncle. His uncle knew everything around here. His uncle sometimes made him think of old ladies who shopped and played Pai Sho all day. Oh well, that would now be useful.

His uncle was definitely a treasure trove of useless, though today useful, information. Iroh directed Zuko to a seamstress in the southwest of the Lower Ring. Off he went with his money and a little note he kept with Ty-min's measurements for just this errand. There he commissioned the uniforms in sturdy cloth. It didn't need to be fancy, just practical and durable and the right colors and style. By tomorrow at least Ty-min's uniform would be ready. He smiled to himself. He really wanted Faelin to see this. He hoped he could meet up with her again this evening on her errands and ask. The rain was still not letting up. Would she be outside running night errands? He bought some supper and headed to the dojo for the usual night of training.

Travahar was early this time. Zuko was just finishing his practice katas and starting a walking meditation. Travahar set his cloak and shoes into a cubby and onto a hook. He smoothed out his perfect uniform and checked himself in the mirrors as he walked onto the mats. He knelt in the middle and watched Zuko. This new pupil was a strange one. His golden eyes were very disturbing. It sometimes annoyed him that Ba Sing Se accepted these Fire Nation refugees. Travahar only knew Zuko as 'Lee, the refugee' and would tease him behind his back when talking to his own friends about his experiences in the dojo. Lee, the Refugee, walked with steady strides that spoke of power. It irked Travahar. This one was serious competition. This one knew a different style of martial arts. He wanted to come early in the hopes of watching Lee, the Refugee, practice. Travahar hoped to pick up a few new moves through observation and also get a good look at his newest rival on the mats.

When Zuko came to do a kneeling meditation beside Travahar, Travahar had to ask, "Lee? Why do you come here?"

Zuko looked over at Travahar like he had two heads or was missing some crucial brain matter. Travahar modified his question. He hated that this peasant looked at him like he just asked a stupid question. "I mean, why do you come here so early. Do you live here?"

Zuko kept his answers short. He did not particularly like Travahar and did not want to give this pompous young man something to use against him. "No."

Travahar: "So? Why are you here so early?"

The corner of Zuko's mouth turned up. "So I can make you eat mat."

Travahar sneered at Zuko with a low growl. He would make this peasant pay for that tonight. He was about to retort with an insult when Ling and Mu-Tan entered. Mu-Tan looked at the two students before him and thought how like him and Iroh they were, like two young dragons with barely contained fury and hatred toward each other. Only he and Iroh had moved passed hatred. The older men merely enjoyed the challenge. Mu-Tan liked that Zuko had a good challenge. It would test both his skill and self-control. Travahar was Zuko's equal in Hung Gar as Zuko was in Shaolin. "Obviously you two did not get the message I had sent out today to all the students."

Zuko: "I am sorry, sifu. I was out arranging for a uniform for Ty-min."

Travahar: "Who is Ty-min? Your girlfriend?"

Zuko shot Travahar a hard look. "She is five years old!"

Travahar's eyebrows shot up. He hadn't thought Lee, the Refugee, was old enough to be a father of a five year old. Suddenly he had a small bit of respect for this peasant. Not that Zuko had a daughter, but that Zuko had been busy getting a daughter at a younger age than Travahar had. Not that Travahar wanted the responsibility of a child to weigh him down. He bowed his head to Zuko, "I didn't know you were a father."

Zuko: "I'm not."

Mu-Tan was enjoying this back and forth as he settled into his meditation quietly.

Travahar: "Your sister then?"

Zuko: "No."

Now Travahar was confused. "So why in the nine hells are you buying a uniform for a five year old with no relation to you when you don't even have your own uniform?"

"I accepted responsibility over her. An honorable man thinks of others before himself." Zuko had quoted his mother's words and internally reveled in the small jab and subtle insult.

Mu-Tan felt it was time to end the banter before they explicitly insulted one another. "Focus now. Since you two are here anyways, you will train together." Mu-Tan drilled them both till they were too exhausted to insult one another. He was pleased to see that Zuko's progress at the Hung Gar was improving. Having a rival in the class provided incentive to learn more quickly, if only to avoid having one's face smashed into the tatami mats. He dismissed them both after two hours.

Zuko didn't find Faelin out in the horrible weather running errands. Part of him was disappointed. Part of him was glad she didn't have to be out in this. He returned for more training with Mu-Tan. This time Mu-Tan took advantage of the nasty weather to teach Zuko how to scale walls and keep himself on rooftops despite the slippery tiles. Zuko knew he would ache fiercely by tomorrow from this.

He headed out to Faelin's room. She was fast asleep on the bed mat. He debated what to do. If he went inside, he would leave a huge puddle of water. If he stayed out here, he would be hypothermic before morning. Scanning the area to be sure everything was safe and staying for almost an hour to watch her through the crack of the window shutters, he finally decided to go home. Once everyone else in the building was asleep, it was pretty much safe to leave her unattended. He slipped a note into the shutters for her about Ty-min coming tomorrow to the dojo and how he would like to meet Faelin at the glassblower's shop if possible.

Travahar made his way home snarling to himself the whole way. That peasant insulted his honor. He was fairly certain of it. Oh, it was subtle. The kind of subtle you only hear in court. He wondered where this peasant learned the language of court intrigue. It was time for a change of routine. He was determined now to come early every day like Zuko and make sure this peasant never rose to be his equal on the mats.

As much as Zuko was finding he liked the work at the forge, he had to make some hard choices and let Ken and Fo-ji know that this was his last day. He was feeling disappointed in himself for giving this up, but he had other priorities. He had Ty-min and Faelin to worry about and training at the dojo and work at the tea shop. Working at the forge was not going to be a regular paying job. Not for a few years. He just could not afford that right now. He kept telling himself that he only joined the dojo to prove he could learn a trade in order to be accepted as an apprentice under the Silver Assassins. It was one of the tasks given him by his new sifu. He parted with great honors from the blade smithing masters and a heavy heart for leaving behind something he had discovered he really enjoyed. They told him he was welcome back anytime to continue his training. He bowed to them respectfully. These kinds of changes and choices were very hard. He was relieved that they would welcome him back at a later time.

_Maybe, just maybe, when things are more… stable… I will come back. I really want to. There is just too much going on right now_, Zuko thought to himself as he left the forge._ Too many changes happening in my life._

After the work at the Tea Shop, he dashed out to meet Ty-min. The rain had at least eased to a chilly mist with some light fog. Mu-Tan assured Zuko that it would not snow in this area of Ba Sing Se. It was too warm usually. It normally got a long rainy season. This year was, however, turning out to be very odd and cold for the city. The balance of nature was shifting out of balance somehow. Zuko frowned when he heard this. He didn't quite understand. He remembered his uncle talking about the North Pole and the incidents with the Moon Spirit and the dangers of upsetting the balance. Zuko wondered what could be happening. He tossed the thoughts aside. He had more pressing concerns and more serious, at least to him, questions. Faelin. His questions about her were STILL unanswered. He almost hurried past the spot where Ty-min was to meet him. She squealed when she saw him and threw herself at him with abandon. He told her they were going to get a uniform all of her very own for her class. She was so excited.

He didn't realize that it would take so long to walk to the seamstress's place with Ty-min. She may have lots of energy and skip and run about, but her little legs could not keep up with Zuko's long strides. He had to slow down for her. The uniform fit her very well with room to grow. His own uniform would be ready in a few days. Again, walking back to the glassblower's took longer than expected. Ty-min was complaining of being tired of walking and hungry. He bought her a daifuku to tide her over. Perhaps he will regret the sugar rush she will have, but then, she can burn that off in the dojo.

He felt a little anxious as he looked about for Faelin. _Did she get his note? Would she be able to get away?_ He leaned his knee up against the glassblower's wall below the window so Ty-min could sit upon it and look through the window. She was mesmerizes.

"Aren't you a little young to be a daddy?" Faelin's tease startled Zuko and he nearly dropped Ty-Min.

Ty-Min stomped out in front of Zuko with her hands on her hips and an angry expression on her face. She shook her finger furiously at Faelin, "Don't tease! Teasing is mean!" She then reached her arms up for Zuko to pick her up. He did and settled her on his hip. She was so light. She held on with one arm around his neck and twisted to look angrily at Faelin again. "I'm training to be a great warrior. Tease my new daddy again and I will make you eat mat!"

Zuko struggled hard not to laugh out loud from this, as well as struggle not to blush too red from her calling him her new daddy. It surprised him.

Faelin bowed deeply to Faelin, "I am so very sorry to have insulted him, little warrior. I am certain he will be a great new daddy and I promise not to tease him again in your presence." The bow with her hood allowed her to hide her smirking. She was highly amused by this turn of events and she would keep her promise. No teasing Zuko in front of Ty-min. That left all other times open, though. As she looked up, Ty-min was regarding her with curiosity.

Ty-min: "You should never look away. An honorable bow is never lower than your shoulder height and you should never take your eyes off the person you are bowing to. You are not a slave. Never forget who you are."

Zuko could hardly believe Ty-min remembered all that. Faelin honored Ty-min by pushing her hood back just enough so she could bow properly. Then looking at Zuko, "She has learned a lot from you. You definitely will make a great father." Ty-min wrapped both arms around Zuko's neck in a hug.

They walked in silence to the dojo. He wondered what kind of mother she would make. He wondered if she would be like his mother when she had children. Then he frowned. _Did she have children?_ More questions. He sighed and set Ty-min down before opening the door.

Zuko: "Will you watch?"

"No, it was hard enough to get away for this. I will try to meet you here when you are done your own class, though." Again, she took his hand a moment. A change in their relationship that made Zuko's heart skip. Ty-min watched smiling.

When Faelin was out of sight, then and only then did Zuko open the door to the dojo. Ty-min was looking up at Zuko and did not enter. He looked down at her wondering why. "You really like her. So do I!" Ty-min said. "You two hold hands like my mommy and daddy used to. Will she be my new mommy?"

Zuko was not sure how to answer that or what to say. He just rested his hand on Ty-min's head and directed her inside.


	20. Chapter 20: Dragons in Our Midst

**_Chapter 20: Dragons in Our Midst_**

Zuko ate a quick meal while walking back to the dojo from dropping off Ty-min at the tram station. He kept his meal very light knowing he was going to be working out as soon as he got there. Travahar was already there. They glared at one another as Zuko entered and changed in the back. As good as things seemed earlier, now it was sizzling in competition. If he could only manage to learn enough and be skilled enough, he could defeat his sister, capture the avatar, return home with his honor and get Faelin out of the place she was in. Unfortunately, as the evening students arrived, it was to the scene of Travahar making "Lee, the Refugee" eat mat.

The class was a mix of successes and failures. He was definitely improving. He definitely hated Travahar. He definitely hated being a refugee. He was about ready to kill the next person who called him "Lee, the Refugee". When he had just about enough and was on the brink of completely losing his temper, Mu-Tan put a firm hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Breathe. Just breathe." Zuko took in a deep breath, closed his eyes and let it out slowly. He was on the edge of firebending in the dojo. The flames practically danced in his eyes. Now they just shone golden. Jaw set hard, Zuko headed into the back to change while the other students filed out. This evening, Zuko hated being in Ba Sing Se.

The heavy clouds blanketed the sky blocking out stars and moon. The air was chill causing the breath to make white smoke when exhaled. Faelin shivered a bit in her cloak. She should have put on stockings. She managed to rush through her errands and have them finished in time meet Zuko after the class. That is where she was heading. She wondered what he was learning in his class. She wondered why he was bothering. Wasn't he a master firebender? Why learn Earth Nation martial arts? Maybe he had finally come to understand the value of learning from other nations. She smiled. This was great. This would so help him to become a well rounded, wise, and compassionate ruler. The Fire Nation needed that. The refugees even from the Fire Nation were so many. It was heartbreaking to hear how the people felt about their own nation. Zuko would be a great king one day. She didn't realize that there were others in his class.

As she rounded the corner a group of men went by. She almost walked right into them. Her eyes met Travahar's. Time stopped. She had already come around the corner. There was no chance to run. She took a step back into the nook of the building's wall and corner post. Her eyes quickly scanned for Zuko but did not see him. She cast her eyes down allowing the hood to dip and hide her face.

Travahar smiled his most smug smile. This was definitely a good night. He might have lost the occasional spar with Lee, the Refugee, but that can be corrected later. Right now, that flame-haired exotic beauty from the red lantern house the other day was staring right at him. Indeed. She nearly walked into him again. "Well look who was not watching where she was going again," he taunted gently.

Faelin bowed low and quickly apologized.

Travahar told his companions that he would see them later. This lady should be properly escorted back to her house. He was lucky tonight indeed. He stepped in closer to Faelin. In his rich deep voice he said silkily, "You have such lovely hair. You should not hide it from the world's appreciation." He reached out and pushed the hood off her head. He touched her soft hair and reached to touch her cheek. Her eyes squeezed shut praying this man would leave. She did not have the skill to fight him. Her mind was blank with fear.

Like lightening, Zuko caught Travahar's wrist and stepped in between him and Faelin forcing Travahar to take a step or two away. The fire flared anew in his eyes, deadly and dangerous fire, and his grip on Travahar's wrist was clearly ready to break bone. Such was a bonus to working in the forge. Zuko glared daggers at Travahar. "Honorable men ask for permission before touching a woman," said Zuko in a low and threatening tone.

Where had Lee, the Refugee, summoned such power? He looked like a noble lord ready to kill a dishonorable servant. Travahar weighed his options. He was just insulted. He snatched his wrist out of Zuko's grip. The air between them stood still and grew warm. _Who was this girl to this peasant? Was this peasant like this no matter the woman? How dare he behave above his station!_ "And how do you know whether I asked or not?"

"Because no one touches her. She would never give you permission." The seconds stretched like hours as Zuko and Travahar stared at each other waiting for the fight to begin.

Mu-Tan stepped out to give a note to the last student out the door. The student took the note and froze as he turned, afraid to disturb the scene he saw. Mu-Tan looked over. This was not good. The wrong word, the wrong movement, the wrong breath and Zuko might erupt flames to engulf Travahar and kill him. Mu-Tan didn't yet see why. It didn't matter. He had to stop this. He reached down slowly to the ground. The moment his hand touched dirt, earthbending took over. Rock rose like a wall suddenly between the two men causing Travahar to back into the street. The rock wall dropped just as suddenly. Zuko had turned to become a bracing shield around someone. "Travahar," came Mu-Tan's commanding voice. "Go home now." Travahar stood, brushed himself off, and left. This was not over in Travahar's mind.

For Zuko, this was definitely turning out to be one of those bad nights in his life. The wall slammed up so fast between him and Travahar that he thought Travahar had done the earthbending. He whirled around to shield Faelin from a possible blast of rocks. He could tolerate his back being pelted by rock. He could not tolerate to have Faelin pelted by rock. No rocks came. The wall dropped and Mu-Tan's voice commanded Travahar to go home. Zuko relaxed the tension in his muscles, but did not remove his hands from the wall. He looked over his shoulder to Mu-Tan. Then he slowly leaned back away from the wall, letting his arms come around Faelin without touching her. He paused, looking at her he silently asked for permission. Then took hold of the edges of her hood and raised it to cover her head again, before turning to face his sifu.

Mu-Tan held his breath as Zuko looked at him then returned his attention to the girl he was protecting. Zuko raised the woman's hood back up, but not before Mu-Tan realized it was the priestess from before. There was definitely something between those two. Zuko would not touch her, but he did what he could to protect her. It looked like he wanted to hold her, but dared not out of… respect? Zuko then turned to face him, almost daring Mu-Tan to raise the challenge that Travahar had. Mu-Tan simple spoke calmly, "We will not meet for this evening's private session, Lee. It is late. And I can see you are needed elsewhere… as am I." Mu-Tan shooed the straggling youth staring at them all and returned into his dojo.

Zuko kept himself between Faelin and this other student, even though the student was no threat. Zuko was still riding on the rush of adrenalin. With his back to Faelin, he did not see her raise her hand. He only felt it land gently on his back. For the briefest moment, a welcoming wave of peace washed through him.

-----

The avatar was growing restless. Aang and the others still had no luck finding Appa. They searched everywhere they could. Sokka was as irritable as he could be. Then Aaang had an idea! "We could make posters and flyers. And give them out." Everyone seemed to have ignored Aang. He was always coming up with crazier and crazier ideas. Aang sighed and continued to stare out the window.

Sokka then piped up from his grouchy pacing. "Hey! Why don't we make Lost Pet flyers?!"

Aang was mildly annoyed, but then caught the enthusiasm and bounced from his seat at the window, "YA! We can hand them out and paste them on walls and get them all over the city!"

Toph: "And who exactly is going to make them? Eh, twinkleotes?"

Sokka: "It was my idea. It will be my job. I will make them. Then you can find a print shop and get thousands made."

Katara tried not to snicker remembering her brother's ability to draw, or lack thereof. "You do that Sokka, the Idea Man! We will go out and find that print shop."

Toph: "I am staying right here. I am not going to go out there to just be followed and stared at. It creeps me out and makes me cranky."

Katara: "Fine, come on Aang."

Sokka was already digging out parchment papers and the ink stone and a few different sized brushes.

-----

Whatever Faelin did to him, he was relieved. She managed to pull him back from that cliff of no return. The fire and fury was building and building inside him with nowhere to go. He was on the very brink of losing control. Then she touched his back and calm washed over and through him bringing him back into balance, or at least as balanced as Zuko can be. What did she do? Was that her bending his spirit like she did for the children? He could feel her hand slightly shaking. He turned and took it in his, loosely in case she wished to pull away. She didn't. "Did he hurt you?" Zuko asked, making sure she was alright and assessing how much he needed to hurt Travahar tomorrow.

Faelin shook her head then shivered in the chill air. Her hands were cold. He noticed she had no stockings on her sandaled feet. _She must be freezing! And the time was only an hour or more till midnight. Had the class gone on that long? Or was it the exchange with Travahar out here that was so long. It seemed forever and yet over in a blink._ He drew her hand to his elbow and pulled her a bit closer for the warmth. She needed it. He wasn't sure if she was shivering from the cold or from Travahar scaring her. _Probably both. Why didn't she just knee HIM in the groin? Why was she so scared? What had happened to her and when?_ So many questions. Would he ever get the answers? Then he wondered other things, like was she married? Was she married to someone who beat or raped her? Did she have children? Mu-Tan had said she wasn't married. He clenched his teeth together and shut out the questions for now. She didn't need his barrage at the moment. And well, neither did he.

They slipped into the back alley to avoid some members of Fong's gang that were prowling about to do their own business. They stopped by Faelin's window. She took both his hands in hers and stepped in close to his warm body. She searched his eyes as she pondered what she wanted to say. Heat reddened his cheeks a little as he wondered what she was going to say for she looked like she was going to say something. He grew a bit nervous. He didn't have a tea coupon to save him from his nervousness this time. Did he have permission to touch her? What would he do if he did? "Zuko? Wait here. Don't come in till the lantern is out." Reluctantly she pulled away into the cold of the night air and dashed around the building. He glanced at her window shutters and leaned his back against the wall. How can he think about wanting to touch her? How dare he! He was ashamed of the thought. If she is married, he will feel even more ashamed for his thoughts. _No… no, she can't be married,_ he tried to reassure himself, _Mu-Tan said so._ He closed his eyes and waited. He opened them at every sound. He waited. This would be the first time he would be there before she fell asleep. Suddenly he felt VERY awkward. Maybe he shouldn't be there? This can't be appropriate. He'd leave except he said he'd stay. He eyed the clouds. With his luck, the rain will start again and he will look like a drowned rat and not at all the hero.

He was pondering being an honorable gentleman and leaving, but then he would end up being a dishonorable man by breaking his promise. If he went in to honorably keep his promise, he would be dishonorable for being in a woman's bedroom unchaperoned, except he had already been there before. He sighed a heavy frustrated sigh. He needed to ask her some questions. They burned inside him. He needed to know the answers as he was not exactly sure what their relationship was, except complicated. If she was married, there could be no relationship. He needed to know as he felt he was getting already too involved. Mu-Tan had said she was not married. But was he right? Zuko wanted to know it from her. Oh how complicated their relationship was, so so very complicated. He felt like a dragon whose tail was in a knot.

He heard the latches undo on the shutters and a few moments later, the tiny stream of light through the crack of the shutters winked out. Zuko took in a nervous breathe. He opened the shutters and climbed in. He was not all dressed in his dark clothing for night walks as the Blue Spirit. He didn't even have his blades on him other than the one knife. He felt very naked and unprepared for the dangers that could befall them.

He knelt on the inside of the room below the window and allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness. She was folding her clothes to be her pillow. She was not wearing the heavy sweater-like tunic anymore, nor the wide sleeved overdress. She had just the tighter fitting underdress this time with long sleeves on. It showed her figure, but thankfully nothing else. He noticed that her sleeves actually ended in wrappings of light brown soft leather that went from her elbows to her wrists and laced tight on the underside. He never noticed them before. Maybe she just put them on. Maybe she didn't. He chastised himself for not paying closer attention. He could hear Mu-Tan chastising him too. Pay attention to detail, especially of what someone is wearing. It could cost you your life. She paused in her folding to watch him come in. She was ready to run out the door if it turned out to not be him.

He looked up to the ceiling as there were noises above. This was very very risky. He should leave. She noted his growing anxiety. "They are having a huge party in the house. I could be here or outside dead in a gutter for all they care right now. No one should be coming down here till morning when I get the call for late breakfast." Reassured he stood and walked over to her.

Zuko wondered what he should say, what he should do, where he should begin. "Shinzui?"

Faelin took his hands and had him sit on her bed mat with her. What was she doing or planning he wondered. "I know you have questions. Please… understand… I am not ready to answer them all. But, I will answer some."

At last! Finally she trusts him enough to at least answer some. He sifted through all the questions in his mind to find the ones he wanted answers the most. He chose the ones that affected their relationship, or at least his perception of their relationship. They were also the hardest questions to ask as he was most afraid to hear the answers.

He chose the hardest question, "Are you… married?"

She grinned and made a little laugh. "No. No I am not. I have been waiting for the right person to come along, someone worthy of my commitment."

Relieved about that and feeling a little shy, he moved onto the next hardest question. How should he phrase it without insulting her? He didn't want to just ask if she was a whore. "Have you… do you… did you… ever lie with a man?" He meant those above.

There she got quiet and drew her hands away from his. She stared at the bed mat. "Yes."

Zuko wondered exactly how to interpret that.

Faelin: "Several times, on my way to Ba Sing Se three years ago."

Zuko noticed her discomfort. "By choice?" He was worried that this person might still be about. If it was by choice, then it was as good as if she were married. If it was not by choice, this man's name would be the first on his _hit list_.

She shook her head and shivered. She thought how she had to make that choice. The handler bringing them to Ba Sing Se wanted to bed the barely twelve year old girl among the four Faelin was protecting. She let him take her instead, saving the child the violation. She was not prepared then for this man's force and brutality. "It was by choice and not. I… gave myself in place of another. I do not regret the choice. But, it has made me…" She could not finish that sentence. Her words were full of pain and sadness. Zuko held his hand out to her. She took it.

Zuko: "Then why do I not see you with children?"

A pained look came across her face and she covered it with her free hand. She had to take a few breaths before answering. "We were attacked and I was hurt and became very ill from my injuries. I… I lost the unborn child. The …" She took another deep breath, "The healer said I would likely not be able to have another after that."

He decided that he would ask no more questions for now. Those were in some ways good answers. She was not married. She had no current love interests. And, she had no children. Just the way in which these were answered made him almost regret asking them. "Shinzui? Know this. I will never do that to you. I will never take advantage of you. I will never touch you without your permission. I will never do anything to you did not want done." That was a mouthful for him, but he meant every word.

She came close and curled into his lap. "Zuko, you have my permission for a great many things. Just… I may be skittish for stupid things…. And…"

He tipped her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "For you, Faelin, my Shinzui, I will be slow and patient as a mountain." His silent vow was now given voice. They held each other for a long time before he tipped her chin up again. He then whispered shyly and blushing all the way to his ears, "May… may I …" She leaned up and kissed him. It was a small tentative kiss. It was her giving him permission. He closed his eyes and kissed her slowly on the lips… then on the brow. He looked up as the noise of the house party grew quite loud and embarrassing above them.


	21. Chapter 21: Kozue

_Author's Notes:_

_This chapter is VER Mature! VERY VERY mature. Not quite with lemons… but… well… mature. Zuko's in for more than he has bargained for!!_

_Kozue is modeled after a forum friend, Friederike/ZukoToKozu.  
Kozue means Treetop on Japanese.  
This web address leads to the anime art she did for this scene after she read it.   
_

_She has also done some other works of art for this fanfic._

_Faelin Bathing: _

_Zuko & Kozue in the underground: 21: Kozue - Letting Go_

Zuko felt very content with some of his decisions. He missed the forge, but it was not really a stable paying job. He hated work at the dumb Tea Shop, but that never really changed and the money was steady and secure. Ty-min was a decision he will never regret. The dojo and his secret assassin training, well, that was a decision out of personal need. He needed the challenge and wanted the skills and abilities to apply to his other goals, like finding the avatar and dealing with Azula and re-establishing his place and honor as heir to the throne. He was especially content with his decisions about Faelin. His mouth quirked into a smile. They kissed. It was all they had done that night, but that didn't matter. He did not want to rush this. He did not know what he was going to do about it all, but he knew… he knew he had to take his time. Besides, he had other things to work on. He liked that their relationship was not the stereotypical girlfriend and boyfriend thing. He felt it was distasteful and never wanted to ever be seen to be like Travahar who was either out at the red lantern houses or arrived with girlfriend(s) on his arm(s) at the dojo. Travahar sickened him. How dare he touch Faelin! Zuko was going to make him pay for that. _Faelin…_ Zuko sighed quietly. They kissed.

Iroh gave Zuko a little shove, "Nephew! Stop daydreaming. The table by the window is waiting for you to go take their order!"

Every day that week, Zuko trained and practiced both his own martial arts and the Hung Gar he was learning. He slept, ate, worked at the Tea Shop, watched over Faelin (sometimes with her curled in his embrace), and pushed himself hard through his training some more. There would come a day when he was better than Travahar. He could equal him with his Shaolin training, but not the Hung Gar. Zuko needed to learn it and learn it well. His Shaolin was a poor choice of martial arts in the tight claustrophobic spaces of a crowded stone city.

He also thought of the Winter Solstice. It was the longest night of the year, worst time for him, where his energy was so low. It was also a time for thinking about spirits and ancestors. It was only a few weeks away. He wanted to do something with Ty-min with her family now gone. He wanted to instill in her a sense of honor and respect for one's ancestors. _What does one really do?_ He knew that the people of the Earth Nation marked this time of year, _but how?_ He could not find in his memory a year in his life where this day was mark by anything but a long candle vigil till the sun rose again the next morning. _Fire Nation awaited the coming of the Sun Spirit. Earth Nation honored their ancestors. How should he handle this with Ty-min? What were the actual rites and rituals? Was there anything specific or special?_ He would have to ask Faelin. She was a priestess. The operative word being **was**. Would she help him? Talking about the priestess thing with her was like a taboo subject. Zuko sighed. _A priest or priestess takes vows for life. How could she shun it? It is who she is. Maybe this helping Ty-min will help Faelin remember who she was._ With this small plan in mind, he smiled to himself. If Iroh knew this and knew about Faelin, he would smack his brow Sokka-style and then berate Zuko for not thinking this through. But, Iroh doesn't know about Faelin or Zuko's plans.

Iroh gave Zuko another little shove, "Nephew! Stop daydreaming. The table against the wall is waiting for their tea!"

Zuko hated this job. He could barely contain his growl. He saved the growling for the dojo and for Travahar.

Mu-Tan had also now added to Zuko's training. Kozue was to teach Zuko the "delicate arts" of her craft. She was a true spy with flexibility and agility that sometimes amazed Zuko. The Hung Gar class fell into a routine lasting about two hours. Zuko was then given an hour to relax or walk with Faelin if she were around. She never met him at the dojo after that incident with Travahar. Zuko had so hoped she would one day come and sit on the bench to watch him. Even if that was "normal" girlfriend behavior, he understood her reservations.

Kozue dragged him out on rooftops and along narrow fences, irregardless of the rain. She had him stretching and straining the extensions of his limbs in sometimes the most unmanly of ways. Men should not be able to sit on the floor like that with their legs apart, thought Zuko. The insides of his thighs burned with the strain. And yet, Kozue would slide down along the fence in the most graceful splits, swing a leg down and around to hook onto a rope she tied there and be upside down. It reminded him of Azula's friend, Ty-lee. She made it look easy. She could practically dance along a tight rope strung between buildings. He wanted to be able to dash along lines like that. She made him practice on the four foot high fence. He misstepped once on that fence and dropped, the top of the fence catching him on the inside of his thigh before he fell off the side. He lay there breathing deep and mentally assessing if he was still intact. He loathed the new bruises in places men should NOT be bruised, but he reveled in the new agility he had for walking narrow ledges, hanging from difficult places, and traversing secured ropes.

She also started teaching him new ways to walk silently and to break into homes and other building. She showed him some of the secret locks that were used on doors so non-earthbenders could get into private areas. They were creeping along a dark tunnel in the underground when the sounds of light swishing were heard. Kozue turned toward Zuko and pushed him deep into a dark crevice to hide. She pressed herself right up against him. He could feel every contour of her body against his as they remained frozen still in the dark. Four Dai Li agents walked by and stopped not far from their hiding place. They made some hand signals to one another and split up.

Zuko's heart raced. Without moving his head he looked down at Kozue. She shifted her stance slightly pressing a little closer to him as another Dai Li agent walked a quick pace by them in their hiding place. He wondered how she heard them so well. He could feel her breathe. A sly smile curled her lips as she shifted her leg to be more comfortable for her. Zuko took in a quick breath as his cheeks burned. He swallowed. Kozue leaned up to whisper in his ear. Her every movement touched Zuko. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it. "Relax," she whispered. _RELAX?!_ Zuko could hardly believe she would say that. _RELAX? Did she know what she was doing? Did she know what she was doing to him?!_ He had never been this close to a woman. Kozue was nearly giggling in her mind with glee at Zuko's nervous squirming. She decided that perhaps one of her next lessons would be to teach him to relax around a woman. She pulled away suddenly and dashed off a few feet down the empty tunnel. Zuko panted a bit, his knees weak. He took in a couple deep breaths and then followed her. She smiled, exceptionally pleased with herself.

Sometime well after midnight when she no longer had Lee tagging along, Kozue dropped delicately to her feet on the floor from the small rooftop opening in the dojo roof. She walked into one of the rooms. It was bare except for a table and three chairs and a lantern on one wall. There was no window. She walked to the table and sat down. On the table was a huge map. Actually several sheets of map spread open on the table and held in place by a cup of water on one side and a couple of ink stones on the corners. She lifted one of the fine tipped brushes that were loose on the top map and began to draw. After about an hour, she stood and stretched. She lifted her head as she heard the soft almost inaudible footsteps of Mu-Tan coming up the stairs. She stepped out of the room into the short corridor with a stoic look on her face and ready with a throwing dagger if she was wrong about her guess. She was not. Mu-Tan stepped from the stairway into the barely lit corridor. "Kozue," He said gently.

A giant child-like grin dimpled her cheeks and she dashed to him with a huge hug. She then stepped away and the stern neutral expression returned. "I have more information from my first mission. I have added to the maps of the underground and confirmed them as in use by the Dai Li. I will complete that map before the Winter Solstice."

Mu-Tan: "And how goes the mission with my apprentice?"

Kozue frowned a moment, "He is almost my equal in flexibility, dexterity and agility."

Mu-Tan: "That was only the small part of your mission. You were asked …"

Kozue: "Yes, I know. Teach him to trust himself. That is not an easy mission, sir. He is uncertain about walking a narrow wall. I will try him on ropes tomorrow. He doubts himself. I would like permission to push him to the edge."

Mu-Tan: "You will be playing with fire, Kozue. I do not want you burned."

She gave him a mischievous half smile, "Oh no, not that edge. I think Travahar does a fine job at that. I mean a whole other kind of edge, the one most men don't come back from. If he trusts himself, he will control himself." They walked to another room where Mu-Tan had some tea brewing. He poured a cup for each of them. They sat and discussed her ideas.

Mu-Tan could see how Ling was so disturbed by his daughter. She never came back quite the same from her mother's death. You were never quite sure what she was thinking or what she would do. She had no fear, none at all, and not really any compassion. She didn't really have a sense of right or wrong, there were no moral concerns. In some ways, she was a child. In others, she was very much an adult. It made her an ideal spy and a deadly assassin. No remorse. It was sometimes scary to watch her.

Later in the week, Kozue amused herself for several hours. She had strung a tight cord across the alley and about 10 inches off the ground. She was sitting on the wall like a cat at the dead end of the alley watching people near the front of the alley trip over her cord. The rain was starting to come down in slow large drops. The wall she sat upon was going to be part of this evening's training, as was the cord. This, however, amused her until it was time to meet up with Zuko at the dojo.

After bringing Zuko to the roof, she pointed to the wall. "I want to you jump from here and land on it." She walked to the edge and leapt off the roof. Not expecting her to do so, he made a grab for her to save her from death, but missed. As he looked over the roof's edge where he landed hard, he saw her gracefully rising from the crouched landing position she made on the wall's top ledge. She made it look so easy. She turned and put her hands on her hips. "Come on. It is only ten feet down to here and the wall is wide, at least one foot wide." He backed up and dashed to the edge of the roof, then came to a skidding halt. _Was she mad?_ "Oh for… in the name of all the ancestors! Get your cowardly ASS down here!"

Zuko snarled. The wall was not like landing on wide flat ground. What if he missed? How many bones would he break? How dare she call him a coward? He jumped from the roof. In a sudden panic he kicked out his leg sideways and pushed himself from the wall's edge below to roll painfully across the wet ground. That will be too many bruises to count by morning. He stood and glared at her. She shook her head at him in disappointment, "That was terrible. You know perfectly well how to land on a wall and stay on. Get back up there and do it again." Thoughts of murdering her on the way down started to flash in his mind by his fifth attempt. Finally she went back up with him. "You know how to do this. It is no different than any other wall. Just the height is different. Stop over-thinking it and trust your body to know what to do." And again she leapt off to land on the wall. It was at least another three tries before he finally succeeded.

Then she started him on the rope. They walked and turned and did all kinds of things on the low rope. He kept slipping off and tripping. He almost got mad enough to fry the damnable rope. His feet and ankles were aching. Kozue watched him with a frown. She knew he could do this. He does fine barefoot on the rope in the dojo. Then she had an idea. She grinned with joy at her ingeniousness. She grabbed his hand and hauled him back into the dojo. There she sat him on the bench and started to pull off his shoes. He struggled against her. "Stop squirming," she ordered. When his shoes were off she pressed the bottom of each of his feet against the inside of her forearm. He looked at her like she had truly lost her mind. "Ok. All done! You can go now." Confused he pulled on his shoes again and left.

Zuko was grumpy all the way to Faelin's. He asked that she not touch him this evening as he was aching from new bruises. She wrapped a chilled wet towel around his ankles to ease the swelling from his strains. It was so easy to trust her. Why was it hard for her to trust him? Or for him to trust himself? He sighed and guarded her sleep.

His own sleep was restless in the wee hours of the morning. He was caught between dreams of Faelin bathing to dreams where he could feel Kozue pressed up against him. Then he would shift and his bruises would scream through his muscles and wake him. He alternated from hot baths to cold wet towels. He was actually not as bad off as he thought. He managed work and the dojo training fine, achy, but fine. Maybe it was his determination. Maybe he was so busy hating Travahar that he just never noticed.

He wondered what Kozue had in store for him tonight. He also wondered what the foot thing was. Did she have some kind of weird fetish? He was never quite sure what she was thinking. She always left him a bit unsettled.

She led him out to the rope again. Then she handed him leather shoes. What? He inspected them. They were soft leather shoes with a very pliable sole and a split toe. He looked at her feet and realized that she sported shoes like that, only hers were very well loved. "These will help you," she said. "Hard shoes are no good for ropes. You really need to feel everything with your feet. Feet are very sensitive."

He put on the shoes and found that it was almost like being barefoot, except not cold and wet like it was tonight. Their work on the rope went much better this evening than last. She declared him a pro and promptly brought him up to the roof and to another rope she had strung there between the buildings. She walked out as gracefully upon it as if it were as wide as a street. She turned and smiled at him in that cute and almost sexy way she sometimes did. She held out her hand. "Come on. You did fine down there, now let's do it for real."

He stepped out onto the rope and hesitated. He stepped off again. She crossed her arms and gave him that annoyed look like yesterday's from the wall. He tightened his lips, took in a deep breath through his nose and stepped out on the line. He edged out a third of the way when she walked over and took his hand to steady him. "Look up… not at the rope or the ground. Neither exists. Look at me." Her grip was firm and reassuring. Her eyes never left his and she guided him along slowly. "Not bad." Then she let him go. "Stay looking at me and come all the way across." He almost fell near the end. She caught his hand and pulled him to the other roof. "See? I knew you could do it. I want you to do it alone with no help." He looked across the rope with uncertainty. She frowned to herself. _Time for plan B_, she told herself. The only way off the current roof that they were on was across the rope. There was a walled chimney in the center of this roof. She took his hand again and led him there. He was still not sure what she was planning. He figured he would have to lean against the wall and listen to another one of her lectures. He did not expect what came next.

She stepped close to him and placed both her hands on his chest. "To walk the rope, you must trust that the rope is there." He put his hands on her shoulders with the intention of pushing her back or defending himself, as he sometimes needed to do with her. She would sometimes test his reflexes. She stepped in even closer. He swallowed. "To do anything in life, you must trust yourself." His body tensed at the feeling of hers pressed against him. She looked up at him with her dark blue eyes and slight smile. "Relax," she whispered. "Your body knows what to do. The rope is just another edge you walk along." He couldn't relax. His heart was pounding as part of his body disobeyed him rudely. She leaned into him and whispered in his ear, "Close your eyes. Stop over-thinking. Trust yourself…. Let go …" Her voice was almost hypnotizing. He closed his eyes. He could feel her chest moving as she breathed. He relaxed into that rhythm. "Let go… and trust that your body knows what to do." Her breath was warm in his face. He let go of his insecurities. His arms slid slowly down her arms and around her waist. Her lips were so close to his that he could almost feel them brush his. "You know what to do…" And he closed the distance between their lips. It was like fire coursing through his veins. It stirred him inside. He brought his arms up her back when she returned his kiss and held her tight. His body ached… hungered… for something. He turned around so she was against the wall. _Trust yourself, you know what to do._ He kissed her cheek and her neck as she lifted her head for him to have easier access. He breathed in her hair. He drew back to her lips and met them again with hunger. She enjoyed this fiery passion in him, but would he trust himself to really know what to do? She returned his touches and his kisses with equal lust. His breath was heavy. Sweat beaded his brow and rolled down his back inside his shirt. He pressed his cheek against hers.

He moved one hand to the wall beside her head, then the other. She waited to see what he would do. All his muscles were tensing. He was fighting for control. Or did he lose control so soon, she wondered amused. He pushed himself away from her, bracing himself against the wall. "No," he said hoarsely. "No." And he stepped away from her. His jaw clenched, then his fists. He took in a deep breath and turned his back on her. He paused at the rope off the roof and looked over his shoulder at her. "Our lessons are over," he said firmly and walked across the rope like it was not even there, like he was walking on the dojo floor.

Mu-Tan was watching from the dojo roof a few roofs over with his spyglass. He waited till Kozue came to him. "You do your job too well sometimes, Kozue."

She just smiled at him. "Well, now he trusts himself and knows he can step away from the edge. He will know that edge anywhere now and be able to step away from it or cross it when he needs to."

Mu-Tan nodded. It was not the way he wanted it to work out, but it definitely worked.

Zuko was very standoffish in Faelin's room. He was so glad she was already asleep. He was very angry with Kozue. He was very angry with himself. He felt very hurt, and confused, and yet still on fire inside. It was not until several hours of fuming and then calming that he realized that he had walked away from that situation without touching Kozue too rudely and without doing anything else with her. He came so close to a cliff's edge where beyond was either bliss or was a burning deadly fire. He now knew where that internal cliff's edge was; and, he had walked the rope steadily. _Was that what she was planning?_ He was so confused by her.

He knelt down beside Faelin and brushed his fingers gently against her cheek. The sounds of waking people in the building signaled his time to leave. He slipped away in the predawn. It was still pitch dark and the rain came again with a chill wind. He welcomed it.


	22. Chapter 22: Assassination

**_Chapter 22: Assassination_**

The wind had picked up and the sky was a solid steel grey. Zuko looked at it dubiously. Skies like this were seen in the north and south poles frequently. When he got to the dojo, he asked Mu-Tan about it. "I thought it doesn't snow in Ba Sing Se. I thought you lived in something close to perpetual spring."

Mu-Tan chuckled at this, but then grew serious. "We shouldn't get snow. But… the world is shifting out of balance. This is the worst cold rainy season we have ever seen. The last time this happened was just before Sozin's comet came. The weather was so bad that it ruined crops all over the Earth Kingdom. The comet arrived and Sozin of the Fire Nation declared war on the whole world. Makes me worry about this year and what your father has planned."

Zuko's jaw muscled tensed. Mu-Tan then asked Zuko to follow him into the basement again. There he saw a map of the Middle Ring and a note. Zuko looked up uncertain.

Mu-Tan: "This is your first mission. I told you that you would earn your lessons and supplies."

In some ways, Zuko expected this. But, he also remembered when he killed that thug and how he felt. Doing an assassin mission was something in his thoughts that was not quite wholly real. He hadn't thought it would actually come to this. But then, thinking things through was not necessarily one of his strong points. He picked up the note. It was an image of a man. The map had a peg in it for the man's location in the far Western district of the Middle Ring. Zuko looked up at Mu-Tan. "What did he do?"

Mu-Tan raised an eyebrow. "What did he do? As an assassin, you do not ask these things. Your personal morals have no place on the job. This is a job. Clients need to maintain anonymity for both their sake and yours."

Zuko did not like this. A man had to have a good reason to be killed, he had to deserve it. This did not sit well with Zuko at all, but what was he to do? He accepted the training; he accepted the tools and supplies. He knew he would have to pay for it some day. Just, he didn't think that day would be today.

Mu-Tan watched the play in Zuko's mind crossing his facial expression. "We will be doing this one together. Now, go get ready for class." He walked up the stairs leaving Zuko to consider this.

Zuko hung his head in the dim lonely basement. Has he lost so much honor as to turn to this? He clenched his fists and hated himself. Resigned, he climbed the stairs and endured the class. His lack of enthusiasm caused him to lose a sparring match against someone less skilled than he. Travahar smirked. Kozue came into the class about half way, in time to see Zuko lose. Her eyes were cold like nothing happened the other night. Zuko wondered what she thought. When he sparred with her, he realized that he really meant absolutely nothing to her. In a moment where they were locked in their fight, he whispered fiercely, "why did you do that to me yesterday?"

Kozue: "I was paid to teach you to trust yourself, to bring you to the edge so you will know it."

Zuko: "I was a … job?"

Kozue grinned. "One of my more fun job's."

Zuko yelled and stepped into her to overbalance her. He then lifted her over his head and pinned her to the mat. He got up and stormed off to the changing room. She was not human as far as he was concerned. Mu-Tan would probably agree knowing Kozue as he did.

He walked with Faelin in silence guarding her on her errands. His face was locked in a near permanent scowl as he was going over things of the last few days in his head. Faelin glanced over to him often with concern in her ocean blue eyes. "Lee? What is bothering you?"

Zuko: "Nothing. Nothing that concerns you."

She frowned. She noted his hands in fists as he walked. She wrapped her fingers around one of those fists. Without any change in his expression or posture, he unfurled that fist and held her hand.

When they stopped at their usual parting place, he pulled her close to him and a desperate hug. Words he had not remembered for so long came to his mind. They were his mother's words. Now they were going to be his words. "Shinzui, I…" He ground his teeth a moment thinking.

Faelin, worried, lifted her head to look into his eyes. "What is it, Zuko?"

"I… have done what I can to protect you. I lo…" There was a long pause and then a deep breath. He spoke his mother's words aloud to Faelin. "No matter how things change, Faelin… never forget… never forget who you are." Strange thoughts flashed through his mind:

The memory of his mother, speaking those exact words.

The smell of the thug's blood on his hands.

The sound of Ty-Min's scream.

The sight of Faelin bathing.

The feel of Kozue pressed against him in the tunnel.

Him and Kozue kissing hungrily.

Kozue's cold laugh.

The shock of the note that required him to kill.

Silently he thought, _I have forgotten who I am, please Faelin… don't lose yourself, not like I have, please... and never forget... that I love you, even if I can't say it…_

He cupped her face in his hands and briefly kissed her before dashing off to the dojo. She stood there stunned, confused. "Zuko?" she whispered into the night.

-----

Zuko's stomach was already churning. It had been all day, in fact had been since he saw the note of the mission last night. It bothered him that he did not know this man he had to take part in killing. It bothered him that he did not know WHY this man was to be killed. It was cold and calculated murder. He wanted to learn HOW to be an assassin. He did not want to BE one. Why had he not thought it all through? Why had he not considered that his payment for training might be actually participating in a kill? His stomach had churned so badly that he was sick out the back of the Tea Shop after his lunch break. His uncle was there with a cool damp rag and a cup of fresh water and a very worried look on his face. He was not much improved by dinner.

Iroh: "I think you are coming down with something. You are out all night in the cold rains. Perhaps one day resting will do you some good?"

Zuko snapped, "NO! I am fine." He gathered his duffle bag for the dojo with his new uniform in it and the night things he needed.

His uncle gave him some small rolls and a fresh skin of water that had mint in it to help ease Zuko's stomach. That boy was so stubborn and headstrong. He had all the drive of any Fire Nation man, but he seemed to have picked up some hard-headedness while being here in the Earth Nation.

Zuko's stomach was mostly settled by the time his peers were meditating in preparation for class. Travahar was late today and came in with a very somber and foul mood. Zuko beat him every sparring match. At the end of the class, Mu-Tan asked Zuko to wait for him in the office. Zuko sat on one of the chairs there trying to calm his growing anxiety. He closed his eyes and quieted his mind. Mu-Tan and Travahar were talking alone in the next room. Zuko frowned and tried to focus on the conversation, listening hard from where he was so as not to look obvious.

Mu-Tan: "Is there more trouble, Travahar?"

Travahar: "I do not know what to do? He will not listen. It is like… like he is drugged all the time."

Mu-Tan: "Have you implemented the checks?"

Travahar: "Yes, everything. But I cannot get him to even talk about the damned war. Just because it happens outside the walls does not mean it is not happening. Nor does it mean we should not be doing something about it!"

Mu-Tan: "Keep your voice down."

Travahar: "I am sure it has something to do with Long Feng and his Dai Li."

Mu-Tan: "We are looking into it."

"Well, look harder!" Travahar stomped out of the dojo slamming the door as he left.

Mu-Tan walked into the office, "The key to spying is being in the right place at the right time when no one thinks you can hear what is going on." And Mu-Tan sighed as he prepared some tea for them both. It was a spicy tea with a hint of fruit. "Chai," he had called it. "Marsala Chai. It stirs fire in the belly and courage in the heart." Mu-Tan explained that he always drank this before a mission.

Zuko: "And how do you choose your missions?"

Mu-Tan was inwardly pleased that Zuko persisted with this. It showed that the young man had some integrity and was not giving up on his core self. Zuko's determination to become part of an assassin's guild was to what end? Some mysterious and elusive destiny? He was going to teach him what it means to be an assassin. Get it out of his system, he hoped. Zuko was already green looking. "Are you alright? Shall I send you home and find you another, easier mission?"

Stubbornly, Zuko shook his head. "Answer my question."

Mu-Tan shared the reality of an assassin guild with Zuko. "As an apprentice to an assassin's guild, the guild leaders decide the target from the requests, which may or may not be many. The apprentices get no say in the matter and are not given any more information than is necessary."

Zuko gritted his teeth in between sips of tea.

Mu-Tan: "When you have rose to be allowed solo missions, then you will scout out your targets and learn the information you need to take out the Mark. A target kill is called a Mark, like in hunting with archers. I have done the footwork for this mission already. You must only assist in carrying it out. Your second mission will be helping me scout out the target. Your third mission, I will simply observe your work. If you are good enough, then you go solo. If you fail, I am to have you killed for knowing too much, including identities."

Zuko's eyes widened. He had not thought of that either. It made sense. If he were an assassin, he would want to maintain certain degrees of anonymity. He huffed, "Let's get this over with."

On one of the pauses on the wall between the Lower and Middle Ring, Mu-Tan arranged tools and showed Zuko a new one, a glove with a metal wire in a coil. "You can make a fist with the gloved hand and grab the ring of the wire with the other hand. Pulling the ring pulls the wire out of the coil. It can be used for strangulation. It is also almost razor sharp and can quickly cut through most things, if you pulled it fast enough," explained Mu-Tan. Zuko was amazed that it coiled back automatically. "There is a very strong spring mechanism in there." In the back of Zuko's mind was the small urge to take it apart to see how it worked.

Mu-Tan continued, "We must always be sure to use metal tools and be extra aware of out surroundings. All benders need the presence of their element in order to bend."

Zuko looked up. "Firebenders don't."

Mu-Tan smiled. "Yes, they do. Ask your uncle."

Zuko frowned and made a mental point to do just that.

Like ghosts they evaporated around corners and over walls and rooftops. Like shadows, they slipped into the nooks of buildings and through a window. Fast as a breath, Mu-Tan caught a Dai Li guard in a quick headlock and snapped his neck as the guard looked right into Zuko's eyes. The small cracking noise the bones made sent a chill down Zuko's spine. His stomach rolled unpleasantly. He swallowed and closed his eyes. Mu-Tan whispered to him that the next room was their Mark's study and where they were to take their target down. Zuko was to do the actual kill and Mu-Tan would handle any guards or other people in the room. They flanked the sliding rice paper door. Only a single candle lit the room casting many shadows. Mu-Tan pressed a hand against the stone wall and signaled for Zuko to not move. He slipped off and took out another guard that was coming up the stairs. With two guards now down, they would have to move quickly and get out fast to avoid detection and serious trouble. Zuko saw that the other guard was also Dai Li. He wondered, _Spying with Kozue against the Dai Li and now this… what was going on?_

Mu-Tan silently pulled the door open. It slid with almost no sound. Mu-Tan signaled and Zuko slipped in and crouched in a shadow. Mu-Tan followed and closed the door. The man was at a desk with his back to the door and facing the window. He was writing by the candle light on his desk. As the door closed, the man looked over his shoulder. He saw nothing but the shadows of the room. He figured it was the usual guards walking the halls of the estate. Mu-Tan stood, as did Zuko. Zuko drew out a knife from one of his wrist sheaths.

So did a man in the far corner close to the Mark. _CRAP,_ thought Mu-Tan. Like a dragon striking, he pinned the man to the wall with a thud. The target stood and turned suddenly to see Zuko standing before him with a dagger. The man's eyes grew wide as her realized what was happening. "DO IT! DO IT NOW!" Hissed Mu-Tan.

Zuko's hands shook and he was frozen. It was like when he stood in the hall for the duel and saw his father step out to fight him. He couldn't do it. He just… couldn't do it. Cold sweat dampened his back.

Mu-Tan cursed, crushed the windpipe of the man he had pinned and pulled the wire from his glove. ZING! In the same motion of the turn from the guard to the target, he looped the wire over the man's head. The man was taking in a breath to yell and his muscles were tensing for movement. It was like slow motion to Zuko. He just stood there. Mu-Tan pulled the wire tight preventing the man from yelling or even breathing. There was a little struggle, then twitching, then stillness. People heard the thud and were gathering to come up the stairs. Mu-Tan let the target drop to the floor when he was sure there was no pulse. "RUN!" he sternly ordered Zuko and they dashed out the door and through the halls to the window they entered by. Guards were up the stairs and into the room. A woman screamed. Zuko's heart was pounding in his chest. They leapt through the window and dropped onto a narrow wall ledge. Dashing along it and into the shadows of the buildings, they then slipped through a small space and into the yard of a merchant shop. They kept to the streets till they reached a round street passage into the sewage tunnels. Down they went along the tunnel for maybe half an hour without stopping. They pulled themselves up into another district and up to the roofs where they dashed like cats to the wall. They stopped there and sat on the wall to the Lower Ring breathing hard.

Ten Thousand things flew through Zuko's mind. The loudest were that he could not kill the man. He needed to know why. He couldn't do it in cold blood for no reason. How could his sifu do it?! Wasn't the man affected by this in some way? Was he like Kozue? No longer human as his uncle called it? The faces of the guards staring blankly crossed his mind. As did the target's wide-eyed fright and near pleading look, his twitching limbs, the limp thud as he hit the floor. Zuko's stomach rolled over and he vomited over the side of the wall. A cold chill filled the emptiness in his stomach. He failed. He failed like he did in front of his father over and over. He failed. He shamed his teacher and froze like a coward. His sifu now had every right to kill him.

"You hesitated. You almost got us both killed," said Mu-Tan flatly.

"I… I'm sorry. I… failed you." Zuko gasped, swallowing the bile that threatened to rise again.

Mu-Tan was angry. Not that Zuko failed, but that it nearly got them both killed. He stayed there calming his mind and quieting his anger. Zuko's complete belief in his failure continued to eat him up inside. He wanted to throw himself from the wall to his death, but then, who would care for Ty-min and Faelin? Would Mu-Tan kill him now or later? Could he escape or overtake his sifu? He looked over at Mu-Tan's calm expression. Then he looked away again in shame.

Mu-Tan helped Zuko up and they walked along the wall from the western quarter to the eastern quarter. They sat again near the place where they could climb down into the Lower Ring. Mu-Tan placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder and Zuko raised his head. _Was he going to kill me now?_ thought Zuko. "You failed your mission, Zuko. But you did not fail me. And more importantly, you did not fail yourself."

Zuko blinked in confusion. "How? How could you kill him like that? For no reason?"

Mu-Tan: "I know the reasons. I chose this target among several contracts we received."

Zuko: "Did he deserve to die?!"

Mu-Tan: "That was none of your business. You were supposed to do a job. And you couldn't do it."

Zuko hung his head in shame again.

Mu-Tan: "This is the life of an assassin, Zuko. This is what you asked for."

Zuko: "It is not what expected. Not what I wanted."

Mu-Tan: "Be careful what you wish for then."

Zuko: "How did I not fail you? I failed the task you assigned to me. And how did I not fail myself?"

Mu-Tan: "You never let go of the core of who you are. You kept hold of your integrity, your honor, your dignity… your sense of right and wrong, your self-respect. You did not take a life without reason. You held onto your humanity, Zuko. That takes great courage sometimes. Someone must have instilled incredible values in you. That is how you did not fail yourself."

This was something Zuko needed to think about. His mother came to mind. "Are you going to have me killed?" asked Zuko.

Mu-Tan chuckled. "If I were an assassin in an assassin's guild, then yes. But I am not. And thus you have not failed me." He climbed down from the wall.

Zuko followed. "I don't understand."

Mu-Tan: "The Silver Circle is not an assassins' guild. You wanted to learn to be an assassin. Now you know what it is like. But I want you to learn to be the best human you can be. The best warrior, the best of the next generation."

Zuko: "Who and what are you?"

Mu-Tan turned and put both hands on Zuko's shoulders. The look on his face is one Zuko had always hoped to see on his own father. It was a look of warmth and pride. "I will tell you when we get to the dojo."


	23. Chapter 23: Silver Circle Revealed

**_Chapter 23: Qin Maru: Silver Circle_**

They entered the dojo sometime before predawn. So much was still churning in Zuko's mind, as well as his stomach. Mu-Tan set a small low table on the dojo floor with the makings for tea and two small cushions. This was ceremonial, Zuko realized. He took off his shoes as Mu-Tan had and sat on one of the cushions waiting. Mu-Tan watched Zuko out of the corner of his eye. Zuko was showing more patience and more self-integrity than he ever had. This was extremely promising. _Yes,_ Mu-Tan thought, _Zuko was a good choice, if he accepted. The ruse needs to come to an end now. And, whoever solidly fixed into the boy that he was a shameful failure ought to die a slow and horrible death,_ Mu-Tan thought.

Mu-Tan lit the incense at the shrine to his son and brought over the now hot water from the office. He filled the teapot and sat. Zuko was going to need a lot of time to think things through. Mu-Tan understood this. As much as Zuko is like fire, he was sometimes like slow burning coals that need time to catch and become flames. Time to let Zuko know all or at least all that Mu-Tan could tell. He poured a cup of tea for each of them. Then he bowed to Zuko from his sitting position. "Drink with me, if you will do me such an honor."

Zuko had never seen this ritual before. He knew there were various tea ceremonies. His uncle sometimes led one at the Tea Shop, but it did not look like this. This felt old. His uncle's tea ceremonies felt old too, but a different kind of old. His uncle's tea ceremonies felt like the kind of old that was still being used today. This had a strange feeling of old as in a lost mystery. He mimicked the bow. "I… accept the tea with honor." He hoped that was the right thing to say.

Mu-Tan: "I ask that you hear me out without interruption. After, then you may ask me anything you wish. But, I recommend you think about all I am about to say before doing so."

Ling walked in at this point and paused at the door. Bao-Li was with him. They looked at the scene before them of the two men and the tea service. Bao-Li frowned. He was still not so keen about this idea. Ling just put a hand on his chest and pushed him out the door again. This was not to be disturbed. They will go to the basement by another means. With luck, Mu-Tan will be done before morning and they can all discuss the progress of their missions.

Mu-Tan gave Zuko a small shake of the head to indicate for him to not bother looking over. Zuko gave Mu-Tan a short nod to indicate he understood. They sipped tea and Mu-Tan began with his explanations, unveiling who and what he really was to the one he hoped to be his apprentice and the next generation of the Silver Circle Guards.

Mu-Tan sipped his tea. It was a very high quality green tea with a slightly nutty rice flavor that reminded him of the wild rice his wife used to cook for him. Zuko sipped the tea as well. Mu-Tan began, "When you came into the dojo and saw the new tapestry, something caught your eye. What was it?"

Zuko thought a moment. He then remembered the silver band in the dragon's mouth with the odd inscription. "The silver band reads Qin Maru Shugosha... Silver Circle Guardians. I thought it should read Qin Maru Ansatsusha. Silver Circle Assassins. I was told you were that."

Mu-Tan nodded to him. "We are both. But, less assassins then guardians. Most people know us as the elite assassins guild. We let them believe that. It works for our cover. But we are among the few remaining Silver Circle Guardians, sacred warriors and protectors of the temples and clerics. We take vows to protect the people, the lands, the temples and all that is sacred from the books to the clergy. My generation was the last to take such vows.

We have existed longer in tradition than even the existence of the avatar or so legend tells. In the earliest of time, there were the four elemental benders. These were born with the gift. They trained in the ways of tribal functions from healing to building to fighting and hunting. The spiritual and religious realm was in the hands of the fifth elemental benders, the spirit and ch'i benders. This was a learned bending art that was passed on by ritual transmission. I do not know how it came to be in the first place. These spirit or ch'i benders became the clergy of the four nations. They were the keepers of the sacred rituals for the seasons and the ones responsible for the rites of passage. They alone could bend pure energy and even the spirit world energy. It was one such priestess who begged of the earth spirits to send someone to the world to be a bridge for the elements and the spirit world, someone proficient and powerful enough to help restore balance in great times of need. She gave her life to bring into the world the avatar. Her disciples passed on their teachings and bending skills to chosen individuals through the generations. And since their function was religious and spiritual in nature, they did not learn to use it for fighting. In fact, their vows to the world forbade them. And so the Silver Circle was created to protect them and what they stood for.

Along side these two groups was a vast information network, people who kept the lines of communication open between the many peoples. They were known as the White Lotus. As time and human nature progressed through the ages, these groups fell out of favor. There are still members of the White Lotus around to give shelter, exchange news, spy when necessary, smuggle people in or out of places. They have their own rules and secrets that I do not know. But they alone know who they are unless one reveals him or herself to you.

The temples were soon seen as places of power and the greedy waged their own kinds of wars upon them. They were labeled witches, magicians, superstitious and no longer of any use to the world. Fewer and fewer people came to study in the temples. The largest temples were those mostly maintained by the Air Nomads. They were less and less welcome in the water tribes. The earth nation almost exiled them entirely, some places executed them or stones them to death. There were just not enough of us Silver Circle guards to protect them. And our numbers dwindled too as fewer were interested in being involved.

In an attempt to save most of the clerics, we sent them to the Fire Nation. There they were guarded even if it was only because Sozin liked to horde all forms of power. Some clerics and Silver Circle remained in secret in various places, like myself who was devoted to the Temple of Ba Sing Se and its priests and priestesses.

As the war began to rage, we had to do what we could to protect the lay people and the clerics. The Dai Li exiled any clerics from the temple as the Dai Li rose to power to be the ministers of culture. A few of us smuggled out the survivors. The priestess I was guarding refused to leave and accepted being in hiding to do what she could for the people secretly. Today, there are so few of us. There are two in the Northern Water Tribe, one who is traveling now to the Southern Water Tribe, so I hear. There is one woman training warrior women on Kyoshi Island. Three are here. We lost contact with the two in the Fire Nation. They were protecting the last of the temples there and tried to get the clerics and disciples out four years ago when Ozai declared them as sanctuaries harboring traitors and had them all burned to the ground and all members executed. As for the clerics, the one I protected here was the last outside the Fire Nation that we knew of. She died when she brought our son into the world. As for the others that were being smuggled out… I had heard nothing. We presumed them all dead.

After my son was born, we shifted our focus to protecting the people. I raised my son as if he would become what I am. But… he was killed in the 600 day siege trying to get a message to the Dragon of the West. Two dragons lost their sons that day. And we will never be the same for it. We both vowed to never take part in the war again, not as warriors across a battlefield. We may never be friends, but we are not enemies. I have not had another apprentice since. And, none through our training school has really been qualified.

Kozue, I think you can see why she is excellent at what she does, she cannot be Silver Circle. This is the first year we see promising people. And good thing, we are getting tired. It is time to pass on the duties to the next generation. Especially since I now know that a priestess lives and has been under my nose for nearly three years."

Zuko listened intently. When the tea grew cold, he heated it with firebending so as not to interrupt his sifu's monologue. And slowly as all this sunk in, he remembered the tale his uncle told him. "Mu-Tan!" Zuko blurted out in shock.

Mu-Tan bowed to Zuko.

"Why me?" asked Zuko. "I have commitments already."

Mu-Tan sighed. This young man was going to still cling to the impossible. "Because you show the most promise. And… the priestess seems to trust only you."

Zuko clenched his teeth. Faelin was not willing to be a priestess for whatever reasons. She was turning her back on her own vows and a world that needed her.

Mu-Tan stood and bowed to Zuko again. "I understand you will need time to consider everything. I apologize for any deceptions, they were necessary for all our safety. I hope that you will one day honor me by being my apprentice. Now I have a meeting to get to."

Zuko helped him put everything away and silently left to check in on Faelin. He sat in a dark corner of her room for an hour. His head was so full he could hardly think. She was having another night terror. He tried to sooth it, but his very touch frightened her more. He backed away. The knock on the door came very early and Zuko hurried out the window. The dull grey sky dumped chilly rain mixed with bits of hail on him before he was home.


	24. Chapter 24: Questions & Answers

**_Chapter 18: Questions & Answers_**

Zuko was usually a quiet fellow, but today, he was quieter than usual. He looked deep in thought from the moment he woke all the way till dinner. What surprised Iroh most was that Zuko actually stayed home to have dinner with him. "Are you feeling alright, nephew?"

Zuko: "Hm? ---- uh… yes."

Iroh could tell that a great many things were troubling Zuko. Zuko was thinking so hard Iroh was sure the steam in the house was not just from dinner cooking or the kettle boiling. Zuko was running through plans and choices and information and questions. There was just so much. "Uncle? If every bender needs their element present, why don't firebenders?"

Iroh didn't think that all this thinking was for just that one question, but it was a good question. "They do." Iroh's mouth twitched into a grin at the look of astonishment on Zuko's face. "The fire comes from within, nephew. A skilled firebender knows how to reach within himself and touch the flames and bring them forth. A master or adept knows where the threshold is and can stand there and see the very flames within. He can then decide whether to leap in and have them fill him or just reach for the exactly necessary amount, or walk away. But very few ever learn where that threshold is and fewer still can walk away from it. The call of the flames is very seductive. Especially when your emotions are very involved, anger, hatred, passion and love. But the fire is always there. Remember when I was teaching you lightening? If you can find that threshold and be able to find peace there, the lightening will come. You will understand how the fire's energy affects you and you will be able to separate the positive and negative and then bring them together. Your sister does this, but by shutting off her emotions. A cold fire is deadly… but a cold fire will also slowly consume the human part of you every time you use it."

Zuko went on thinking. "Why are you a member of the White Lotus and when did that happen?" He was feeling on a bit of a roll. It was easier to ask his uncle questions than it was to ask Faelin. She would just avoid the answer, refuse to answer, or they would end in a huge argument.

Iroh become quite serious here, "I joined after LuTen's death. As for why… it was the right thing to do."

Zuko frowned. He thought more. His food nearly went cold while he was so busy thinking. Finally he gathered his gear and headed to the dojo.

Mu-Tan dismissed the newly signed up teens group and nodded to Travahar, who showed up for early practice. Travahar was still determined to stay the best, to not let Lee, the Refugee, get the better of him. Mu-Tan supped in the office while Travahar began his meditation and stretches. Usually Zuko arrived early too, especially for a semi-solo class at the end of the week; but, he was not yet there.

Faelin was busy all day with errands as she was making the arrangements and preparations for the Dai Li rotational vacations/inspections of the red lantern houses. Everything had to be ready as this stressful time took up the entire week leading up to the Winter Solstice. She hurried about to place the orders with the craftsmen and be done early. She was worried about Zuko. The last time she saw him, felt like it was going to be the last she would ever see of him. It disturbed her. She dreamed of him lost in dark abysses and consuming flames. She was determined to seek him out and know what was up and if he was ok.

He was nowhere around the Craftsmen's District. She ventured as far as she dared, to the Fountain of Lights. Someone was struggling to light the lanterns despite the wind and chilly rain. She watched, reminded of the scene of Zuko sitting there with his flute, also of the time she sat in silence with him there just holding his hand. She sighed sadly. _Where could he be? Maybe he was at the dojo practicing between classes?_ Perhaps she could look in on him there before the adult class in the evening showed up. Yes, she could try that. Holding her cloak, she headed for the dojo.

She stopped at the door feeling anxiety build. Could Mu-Tan really be a Noble Dragon as the dojo sign implied? She could not be so sure. She knew him to be a Silver Assassin, among the elite. It was that fact that made her worry about Zuko. _Mu-Tan tried to kill Zuko a few months ago. And now? Now Zuko was training in this man's dojo. Was Zuko foolishly trying to learn the arts of an assassin? Did Mu-Tan finally kill him? Or worse, did Mu-Tan send Zuko on an assassination mission?_ The thought of Zuko becoming someone cold, killing for money.It was just not like him. _Was he truly lost?_ She put her hand on the door and took a deep determined breath. She wanted… needed… answers. _Where was Zuko? Was he ok?_

She opened the door and stepped inside. The tapestry of the silver dragon chasing its tail in a circle caught her eye. Something about it seemed vaguely familiar.

Mu-Tan felt the door open and close through the vibrations in the floor. So, Zuko has arrived. Good. Then he frowned. Those were not Zuko's footfalls. He placed a hand on the floor to sense more clearly what the stones had to say. The stones did not know these footfalls. Travahar had stopped moving through his forms and walked toward the stranger. The stranger was nervous, or so the stones told Mu-Tan. What he heard after answered his current curiosity.

Travahar caught sight of the cloaked woman in the mirrors. He smiled one of his most charming smiles and walked over to her. "Are you here because you miss my alluring touch? Or, to thank your pauper hero for the other night?"

Faelin tensed. She turned from the tapestry to face Travahar. _Where was Zuko?_ She scanned the room for him and backed away from Travahar till her back was against the wall.

He smoothly pushed back her hood without touching her anywhere else. "I won't touch you this time, fair beauty. What is it you see in him? Do you have interest in him? A woman like you shouldn't have favorites."

"TRAVAHAR! Get back to your forms!" boomed Mu-Tan's voice from the door to the office. Travahar stepped back with a half smile and bowed royally to Faelin before returning to the middle of the dojo. There he stretched and flexed. He moved smoothly through the katas while watching Faelin in the mirrors.

Mu-Tan approached Faelin and motioned her to follow him around the perimeter of the mats and into the office. She did so, cautiously. The moment the door closed, Faelin demanded, "Where is he? What have you done to him? Did you kill him? Did you send him out to kill?"

_So,_ Mu-Tan thought, _this is where Zuko got the notion of me as an assassin. And hmmm, she does certainly seem to have strong feelings for him._ "He is not here yet. I have done nothing to him but train him as he requested. I would not dream of killing him. Challenging him, yes, but not killing him. And no, he has not killed on anything I have assigned him to do." She saw him as many others did, as an elite assassin. Though, she knew him by face, whereas many did not. _Interesting._ As a priestess, she really needed to have her notions of him corrected. She needed to know who he really was. "I am not who nor what you think I am. I am no cold assassin." Faelin gave him a skeptical look. "I am one of the Silver Circle Guardians. And you… you are a priestess of the Spirit Order, perhaps the last priestess and spirit bender."

She sucked in a quick breath as realization dawned on her. _Silver Circle Guardians… And he knew! _He knew what she was. She shook her head at him in denial.

"You should not be so hidden. The people have needed you. With the Winter Solstice coming, the ritual must be done. You must know this. You were here last year. You know the spirits are angry," Mu-Tan pressed her insistently.

Faelin shook her head again. "No, you are mistaken." Her voice was barely a whisper full of anxiety. "I am not… I cannot do what you say." Feeling trapped, she went to step around him and escape.

Mu-Tan slammed his hand against the wall, firmly blocking her path with a rock solid barricade, himself. Then like a swiftly striking serpent, he grabbed her arm and pushed up her sleeve to expose her tattoos and prove that he knew what she was, a priestess of the Spirit Order. Her eyes were wide, but she was too afraid to scream. _Why didn't she struggle,_ he wondered. _Why did she hide her calling? Why was she so afraid?_ As he released her arm, something caught his eye. He caught her wrist before she could fully pull away and hide it. He felt her quake with deep rooted fear. His own eyes widened suddenly, and then narrowed at what he found. Around her wrist was a metal band clearly imprinted with the symbol of the Earth Nation and her master's sigil. Understanding crossed his face. He released her wrist sadly. "I'm sorry. I did not realize. Does he know?"

Without looking at Mu-Tan, "No," she replied. "No he doesn't." She looked into Mu-Tan's eyes pleadingly. "Swear. Swear you will not tell him. Please… swear it."

Reluctantly he promised. "You will have to tell him soon, priestess. His heart is… involved."

Faelin pulled down her sleeve to hide the offending metal band. "I cannot do anything, especially not rituals."

"But, the spirits will take more innocent lives." Mu-Tan thought quickly. "Perhaps, perhaps if you were taken to the Tree, the one on the hill in the west quarter. It is far enough from your master."

Faelin hid her face in her hood. "Maybe," she whispered. "Tell him… tell him… I am worried about him. I… miss him."

"I will, priestess. And with luck, I will have a new generation of Guardians to protect you." He bowed as she passed him.

She paused crossly at the door before opening it. "I already have my Guardian." She hastened out of the dojo to avoid any further incidents.


	25. Chapter 25: Young Noble Dragons

**_Chapter 25: Young Noble Dragons_**

Moments passed while Travahar meditated on this woman's presence at the dojo. Kozue came in and walked coldly passed him. He regarded her as one regards an extremely beautiful yet deadly poisonous flower. She made his skin crawl. Travahar wondered why she was there. She went into the office to meet with Mu-Tan. Maybe she was one of the ones Mu-Tan employed in Travahar's mission. He was paying them enough. He really hoped she had news. Good or bad, at this point any news would be welcome. He poured himself into his exercises, sweating, trying to not think about what was going on in his own life.

Mu-Tan stepped into the dojo to address Travahar. "Travahar. I trust that you and Lee can practice respectfully and spar honorably while I go have a meeting?"

Travahar bowed to Mu-Tan. "Yes, of course, sifu."

Zuko arrived at the dojo to see only Travahar meditating. Travahar did not move while Zuko headed to the boys' room to change. Travahar smiled to himself. _This was going to be both interesting and informative,_ he thought to himself, _especially since Mu-Tan left the building with Kozue and there was absolutely know one left here. Yes, interesting indeed._

Zuko stepped onto the mats. Travahar noticed that Zuko had a new uniform by the reflection in the mirror. So he did finally get his own. Travahar wondered what family heirloom Zuko had to part with to do so. Zuko stretched and then did his usual walking meditation, keeping Travahar on the edge of his awareness constantly. The green dragon was too still for comfort while the fire dragon warmed up for training. Zuko wondered where Mu-Tan was. He paused as he passed the office door and looked in that direction. Travahar volunteered, "Mu-Tan is out. They all are. They are having a meeting elsewhere. We have the dojo to ourselves," and he sneered snobbishly at Zuko.

Zuko frowned his usual anti-social frown and did some more stretches. Travahar decided to volunteer a little more information, when the two mirrored each other with the Hung Gar katas. "Someone was here looking for you." Travahar noticed this caught his adversary's attention. "A woman."

Zuko ground his teeth, _probably Kozue._ He did not want to discuss her. _Or was it the woman who had screamed in the Middle Ring house? Was he found out? Did he leave something telling behind?_ His mind frantically searched his memories.

Travahar stepped up and bowed to Zuko for their first sparring match. With another sneer, "It was the whore with the red…."

The back of Zuko's right hand, Leopard Paw form struck shockingly fast just under Travahar's jaw. He nearly bit his tongue in mid-sentence. Zuko's left fist in Tiger Claw form came to slam Travahar in the head and down to the ground. Travahar had no time to react before Zuko was on top of him. "She is not a whore! And don't you EVER call her that again!" The flames danced in his eyes.

Travahar saw them but for whatever reason continued his taunting. "You think she can like you? Do you know where she works? If she isn't a whore, she sure isn't in any much better standing." He flipped Zuko over his head with his powerful legs and rolled quickly to his feet. Zuko moved furiously with a low sweeping leg to knock Travahar off his feet again. Travahar sprung back. A butterfly strike slammed him in the chest throwing him back.

He was barely on his feet when Zuko leapt high and came crashing down on top of him again. "You better not have touched her," he snarled. Travahar was slowly beginning to realize that maybe he was wrong. As the blows came with greater and greater fury, Travahar concluded that Lee, the Refugee, and this woman might actually be in a long standing relationship.

They were locked like two dragons ferociously intertwined and determined to rip the other apart. Travahar spat out, "What do you think YOU will do with her? You are nothing! Just a refugee! What could you possibly offer her?!" And he threw Zuko across the floor.

Like a cat, Zuko was up and on Travahar again. The fire rising inside Zuko like lava begging a volcano to open and release it. He had Travahar pinned in a deadly lock as he looked over the edge into the flames within himself. That edge. The same edge Kozue had brought him to, but in a different way. It would be so easy, so easy to leap in and use those flames. Flames that could stir passion or kill with fury. Travahar felt the heat in the air dry the sweat off his skin. Zuko struggled internally. Travahar could not move he was pinned so well. Travahar's words echoed in Zuko's mind. _You are nothing! What could you possibly offer her?!_ The fire beckoned. Zuko closed his eyes, knowing the feeling of that threshold. He relaxed his grip a little and internally let go. He let go of that call. "Don't move or I will kill you, kill you before I can stop myself," he spoke quietly to Travahar. Then he got up and backed off collecting his focus and letting go of the fury a little at a time.

Travahar was relieved. The pinned position was a killing one with the right small move, and apparently Zuko knew it. Zuko's words were too serious to ignore. He stayed still till Zuko was well away from him. Then he slowly and carefully stood. _Where did this man get such intensity? How could he have such deep feeling for a woman? Why did he stop?_ "Why did you stop?"

"I was about to break a promise to our sifu. There is to be no bending and no killing in this dojo. I would like to think I am an honorable man worthy of his teachings. To kill you is cowardly and beneath my station." Zuko shook the tension out of his hands.

Travahar: "Beneath your station?! **I** am the noble one here. You are just a refugee!"

"You have no idea who I am or what I am. For both our sakes, I must not continue this fight" Zuko bowed a royal and noble bow to Travahar.

Travahar wondered suddenly who this man was before him. "I would not have actually hurt her. I… have to maintain an image." He turned his back on the dangerous fire dragon. "And you behave like you are some kind of royalty. I don't know how or why or where you learned it.

Zuko looked at Travahar oddly. "I was royalty. Now I am just an exiled prince."

Travahar's eyebrows shot up. _NO! Could this man be THE exiled Fire Nation prince?!_ He took a slow breath and then turned around. "Then we are equals. No one knows me for a prince either." And Travahar bowed with equal royal nobility to Zuko.

Zuko was surprised. _This was the son of the Earth King of Ba Sing Se?! But that man disappeared as a boy in the 600 day siege!_ Zuko hated this city sometimes. There were too many walls and too many secrets.

"The woman who came by," Travahar began, noting that Zuko clenched his fists, "She spoke with Mu-Tan and left. She was looking for you." Travahar picked up a towel from the bench and tossed it to Zuko and one for himself to wipe remaining sweat out of his eyes. "I was serious about what are you going to be able to offer her. In your current state, it will have to be something you seriously consider. I don't have a girlfriend or any prospective wife because I do not feel that I am ready or able to care and support one. Can you?"

Zuko sat dejected on the bench. He couldn't even truly care for Ty-Min. How on earth was he going to take care of Faelin? If he could just get back his honor and status back home…. Travahar walked past him into the back room to spill the icy water over himself. Then he changed into more respectable clothing. Zuko did the same after, though his clothing was not as respectable looking.

Fire and green dragons faced each other again on the dojo floor. They bowed to one another with their newfound respect for each other. Travahar reached out his hand, offering it to Zuko. Zuko took it. They nodded to each other and Travahar left the dojo.

Zuko pondered more on this. It was almost dizzying. Every time he thought he finally had answers to his questions, he realized the questions just got more complex and he needed more answers. _What did Mu-Tan and Faelin talk about? Why did she come to the dojo? Why was the Earth Nation prince in hiding and pretending to be a disgusting and dishonorable noble? Why didn't Faelin stay?_

He walked outside. It was so dark so early these days. No sun, not even stars could be seen. It was cold and cloudy and threatened more rain. He shivered and refocused to raise his body heat. _Where had Mu-Tan gone that was so important?_ He sat up on the roof of the dojo to go over everything in his mind. If he couldn't care for Ty-min, how could he care for Faelin? What did he intend to do? Was she really his responsibility? Did he want to take care of her? She could be such a stone-headed, sometimes willful woman, yet she could be the most compassionate creature he had ever met. In some ways she was his equal and compliment. Yes. He wanted to take care of her, have her by his side. _Did she even want that? But like this? As a poor refugee? Travahar was right. Not like this. _He hadn't realized how much time had actually passed until the red lanterns started to wink out.

He climbed from the roof and back into the dojo. There was a room for him upstairs where he kept some of his "assassin" gear and his Blue Spirit mask. He didn't really need the mask to look in on Faelin, but the dark clothes were a must. He slipped into her room through the window. She was bundled in her blanket on the bed mat. He sat on the floor by the window after securing it closed a bit. And there, he thought some more. _Mu-Tan. Mu-Tan was a secret agent or warrior, a guardian of sacred people, places and things._ Mu-Tan was inviting him to be that, but that would mean turning his back on his destiny. Zuko figured that if he could fulfill his destiny, then there would be no need for secrecy. He would be able to return order and honor to the people and himself. He would be able to re-establish the temples and guarantee their safety thus guaranteeing Faelin's.

She whimpered in another night terror. She was also shivering. It was so cold in here. He noticed that her blanket was not very thick or warm. He carefully set a box of decoration supplies in from of the door so he would have ample warning of someone coming in and be able to escape. Then he rooted through the many sheets and things in the piles. He quickly decided that they were too dirty and would not touch another. Disgusted, he left them in their piles.

He knelt down beside Faelin. She was definitely shivering. He touched her brow. She was cold. She pulled away in sleepy fright. "Faelin. Faelin," he whispered. She stirred and blinked at him. She sat up suddenly and hugged him. He put his arms around her. She was cold. She was still shivering. "Enough of this. You are freezing." He stood her up wrapped in her thin blanket. Then he kicked things aside quietly and moved the bed mat into the warmest corner of the room. It meant moving the wash basins to the opposite corner. He then sat down on the bed mat and beckoned her over. She sat down between his legs and he wrapped himself around her like a blanket. "I am a human furnace," he tried to be witty. She gave him a weak smile. He tucked the blanket about her and used his breath of fire to raise his body temperature a bit. She was soon asleep and warm, no longer shivering. He needed to figure out something. _This was crazy. She should not be cold, she should not be lacking for anything. _He wanted to do more. He rubbed his unscarred cheek against the top of her head while these thoughts continued to plague him.

His mind was still a discontent buzz when he got home. It made for poor sleep and a grumpy morning before work.


	26. Chapter 26: Coup Planning Session

**_Chapter 26: Coup Planning Session_**

The Silver Circle Guards and those of their employ met in a cave that Mu-Tan and some of the others created outside the city wall by a small lake that fed out to the sea on the eastern side of Ba Sing Se. Mu-Tan had brought the maps and messages that they had collected. Kozue was stretched out like a child on the floor with a new drawing. She was adding to the map and humming to herself contentedly. Ling stood stoically at the cave entrance guarding it. Bao-Li and Mu-Tan sat around a fire reviewing everything they had to date with two other men that sought information for them.

Five men approached. Ling signaled for them to enter. The Council of Five bowed respectfully to all within the cave. The Counsil of Five were the five remaining war general loyal to the crown of the Earth Nation. Mu-Tan stood and greeted them. "It is good to see you are all still here. I am even gladder to see you were able to get away for this urgent meeting. You have news for us. We too have news for you."

They all sat around the fire as Kozue brought her updated map. "I still don't have it all. Some of it I just can't get to. Some is too active to explore. And some, well the earthbenders of the Dai Li keep changing the tunnels. But there is definitely a lake down there. It connects to this one somehow. They call it Lake Laogai." She showed them on the map. "Since you told me I could not kill anyone, I cannot get any closer. If you would just permit me…"

"NO." Ling was adamant. "No. Let's here what everyone has brought to this meeting before we dip our hands in blood. I would like to avoid that if possible." Kozue shrugged and sat down cross-legged on the ground close to the warm fire.

One of the generals, General How, proffered a note. "This is the last of the legislation that has been passed today. It is so… ignorant of what is really going on. We were not sure why till I managed to pass the King's chamber. The king I know was not the man on the throne." Everyone looked at him stunned.

"Who was on the throne then?" Asked Mu-Tan.

General How: "It looked like Travahar's older cousin. You know, the one who was always lost in literature? The poet? The one with the glasses."

Bao-Li: "But he has not spent a single day outside the palace library or away from his tutors. He has no idea how to rule the Earth Nation. And where are the King and Queen?"

General How: "The news we have is that they both died together of an illness, along with several others in the palace. The illness was contained and everything kept quiet so as not to upset the balance in Ba Sing Se. I suspect treachery. We inspected the catacombs. They are definitely dead. It was definitely them. Travahar will need to be informed. Long Feng is the main advisor to the king now. And the Counsel of Five will finally get a meeting with the king in a week or two. The avatar is here as well."

Mu-Tan: "The avatar? And Long Feng has been keeping them busy as well?"

General How: "Yes. They are being 'handled' by one of the JooDee's. They are looking for their sky bison. That is all the news we have."

Mu-Tan nodded. "The exiled Fire Nation prince and the Dragon of the West are here as refugees." The five newcomers and the two informants gasped. "Neither intend us any harm. There is a firm truce between us. But they may prove to be excellent allies for us as their banishment has made them into enemies of their own nation. Also… I have found a priestess here in the city as well."

Ling was shocked. He thought Mu-Tan had told him everything. Bao-Li looked a bit betrayed that Mu-Tan had kept such important news. Another general demanded, "She is going to do the ritual for the Solstice, isn't she? She must! The ancestors and spirits are so angry."

Mu-Tan took a deep breath. "She is indentured. I cannot promise she will be able to. We are working on smuggling her to the Tree for the ritual. She has a good guardian, but he is… he has some hard decisions ahead of him. I will do my best to protect her till the Solstice."

"So what now?" queried Ling.

Bao-Li suggested, "We double our efforts to map the underground and sanction Kozue with what she does best. The Counsel of Five must get to see the king and convince him that Long Feng is a traitor. And maybe, maybe get the avatar to the king too. That man has no business being on the throne, but he is not a complete idiot. Ignorant, but not an idiot."

Mu-Tan decided, "I think we can infiltrate without using Kozue. I have another mission for her. I need to send her off with the White Lotus. She alone might be able to succeed in this mission." The others nodded. "We need to know who is loyal to who. And we need to know BEFORE the Solstice. If we need to make sacrifices, I would them to be OUR choices. No more innocent lives." Again everyone nodded. "We will meet again when I send word." Everyone stood and left their findings with Mu-Tan.

Mu-Tan handed them to Bao-Li who took them off to a secret place. Ling glanced at Mu-Tan gratefully. Mu-Tan gave Ling a comforting smile then addressed Kozue. "In three days, I will send you out on a very long and dangerous mission. It will be outside Ba Sing Se. You have till then to make preparations." Pleased she will be able to put her unique skills to use, she skipped off. Ling and Mu-Tan headed back to the dojo. "Do you think I was wrong to leave Zuko and Travahar alone in the dojo? Do you think I have a dojo left?"

Ling laughed. "As brash as they are, they are noble dragons. You have taught them well. I am sure we will arrive to find everything in good order."


	27. Chapter 27: Lake Laogai & Faelin’s Tale

_Author's notes:_

_This is my rendition of Lake Laogai and all the missing bits in between that I felt should be there, including the bits I need to move my story along. _

**_Chapter 27: Lake Laogai & Faelin's Tale_**

The day was bright and clear. It was a blessing after so much dreariness. It would not last long, just a few days. With new flyers in hand, Aang and his friends were out to spread the news of their lost sky bison. Aang took a large side satchel and his hand-flyer. With Momo for company and a little airbending to get him up and flying, he sprinkled the city with his flyers. People would look up and see them floating from the sky like snowflakes.

-----

Late this morning, Iroh had to drag the grouchy Zuko out of bed. He places a rice breakfast and some hot tea on the table for Zuko. But, Zuko didn't want to eat it. He hated that they were poor. He hated that he could not provide like when he was the prince. Even as a prince in exile, he had access to his own treasury. Now he had nothing but some meager Earth Nation clothes, a rickety old hut he shared as an apartment with his uncle, weak almost flavorless food, and a job that was practically a waste of his time and talent. If serving tea paid him really well, maybe he would hate it less. But right now, he really hated this. In fact, he just plain hated Ba Sing Se. He especially hated the nobility here and how they looked down on anyone who was not. He wanted something more. Maybe his uncle was happy doing this, but he was not.

Zuko was barely polite while he served the tea in the Tea Shop. Once again the Tea Shop was very busy and mostly with people from the other Rings of Ba Sing Se. One noble from the Upper Ring stood with his companions and greeted Iroh with great words of honor, "So, you're the genius behind this incredible brew the whole city is buzzing about?"

Iroh responded modestly, "Good tea is its own reward."

The noble continued to lavish Iroh with compliments and then was so bold as to offer him an apartment in the Upper Ring with his own tea shop. Iroh was glowing with the idea. "My own tea shop?! This is a dream come true."

The Tea Shop owner came out to try to convince Iroh to stay. But against such a dream come true, he had little incentive. Iroh agreed right there and then to accept the noble's offer. "Did you hear, nephew? This man wants to give us our own tea shop in the Upper Ring of the city." Iroh was so excited.

"That's right young man," said the noble. "You're life is about to change for the better."

Zuko was unimpressed and hated the notion of being close to nobles, worse, of being far away from Faelin. This offer was his uncle's dream. It was not his own. It was not part of his destiny. "I'll try to contain myself," he said with disdain as we set down the tea tray and stepped outside to escape the feel of everyone staring at them.

Zuko leaned broodingly against the doorframe to the entrance of the Tea Shop. This whole new tea shop and moving to the Upper Ring was seriously going to put a kink in Zuko's plans. Now, if the avatar was in the Upper Ring… then… THEN there would be something worth moving for.

A flyer fluttered down from the sky. Zuko snatched it in mid air. It was a flyer for a lost sky bison. The avatar was here in the city and had lost his sky bison. Zuko almost thanked the gods and ancestors. He quickly stepped out into the street and searched the sky. Where was he? Where was that avatar?! The flyer came from the sky. The avatar must be near by dropping them over the city. He turned and turned searching the clouds. Finally he just climbed up onto the roof of a tall house near the Tea Shop and searched the sky from there. Unfortunately there was no sign of the avatar. He looked back at the flyer. Zuko could hardly believe his luck suddenly. His mind was sparking with ideas and how he can put them into motion. How could he use this to capture the avatar at last?

Zuko searched around for more signs of the avatar, while his uncle headed home. As Zuko entered the apartment, his uncle was already sorting their belongings. "So, Nephew, I was thinking about names for my new tea shop, how about the Jasmine Dragon. It's dramatic, poetic, has a nice ring to it."

Ignoring his uncle's enthusiasm, he reached into his robe and pulled out the flyer to show his uncle. "The avatar's here in Ba Sing Se. And he's lost his bison," said Zuko.

A bit stunned, but mostly disappointed, Iroh responded with a sigh and inspecting the flyer. "We have a chance for a new life here. If you start stirring up trouble we could lose all the good things that are happening for us."

Zuko was staring out the window with mixed feelings, although annoyance was the dominant feeling at the moment. "Good things are happening for you, have you ever thought that I'd want more from life than a nice apartment and a job serving tea?!"

Ever patient, Iroh tried to reason with Zuko, "There's nothing wrong with a life of peace and prosperity." He began to finally get a little cross with Zuko. He was tired of this. He wanted the best for Zuko and this… hunting the avatar… was not the best. "I suggest you think about what it is that you want from your life and **why**."

Feeling like he had no support, he hung his shoulders. "I want my destiny."

Iroh felt that Zuko needed a very firm shaking. But, he knew that was not the answer. "What that means is up to you." Zuko headed out for the dojo. Iroh continued to think of names for the new Tea Shop. "The Tea Weemo, no that's stupid."

There was no class today, but he could work out in the dojo. Or maybe he should go to the warehouse instead. Yes. That was a better plan. He can break things in the old warehouse. And right now, he really wanted to break things.

Zuko hefted wood planks, large stone tile slabs and various other things he could beat the crap out of in the old warehouse basement. Once his micro world of destruction was created, he stretched and worked through the katas and forms. Then he broke everything he could until he was exhausted and the obstacles nearly broke him. Having thoroughly vented, he sat panting on one of the giant stones that he could not break. He thought through this new information. He thought through his ideas of capturing the avatar. He thought through Faelin and the need for the Winter Solstice ritual. He hated this time of year. It always made him so weak, so depressed, with so little sun. Today's bit of sun came with hope when the flyer drifted into his hand.

First on his plans was a shower at the dojo and to get his night gear ready. Next on his plans was to corner Faelin and get some answers that have been nagging on him about what has happened to her and why she is avoiding her duties as a priestess. He expected a bit of a fight there. She must be reminded of who she is. So much has happened between them, he was sure she would understand and at least open up to him. Last was to tell her of his plans. She should be happy for him with that. It will give him the opportunity to fulfill his destiny and get her out of the situation she is in. Yes, she should be very happy. He knows he was even if something niggled in the back of his mind trying to overthrow his notions. He shoved it aside. His destiny was just that, his destiny. Lastly, he was going in search of the avatar's bison. He suspected the Dai Li had it hidden somewhere as a way to control the avatar.

With his newfound conviction, Zuko headed to the dojo to get cleaned up and change into the Blue Spirit. He really liked the way the water collected and could drop down over his head. It was icy but refreshing. Then he donned the darker clothing and stowed his mask in a carry sack. He quickly carved and painted a rough makeshift one. He planned to return after talking with Faelin and make a dummy, too. He would use it to lure out the Dai Li. Yes, his mind was in planning mode. It felt good to have a goal again. As the sun was setting, he laid out the mask and the supplies for a dummy and his twin blades. He was grateful for this room above the dojo. This way he did not have to listen to his uncle chastise him. He was determined to take steps again towards his destiny. Then, he headed out to find Faelin.

Zuko met up with her at the end of Faelin's last errands. "Faelin? Can we… um… talk?"

Faelin's brow pinched a little with concern. "Sure. Somewhere warm."

Zuko led her over to the old warehouse and started a fire there in a safe spot to warm the area. He silently went over and over in his mind the things he wanted to ask and say. _Where to begin? That was the difficult part._

Warily she asked, "Is this one of those talks like last time? The kind where you say you are going off to do something and might not be back but won't tell me what and you leave me to worry about you? Because it better not be. I had nightmares of you."

He figured he would get the hard stuff out of the way first, and then follow it up with his great plan. He took her hands and had her sit on one of the huge stone cubes used for building. "I need to know, Faelin. What happened to you and why do you hide?" He braced himself for the pending onslaught of her temper that could sometimes rival his own.

He watched her mull it over, debate whether to explode at him or bolt. He held her hands still in his. He needed to know. He wanted to know where they stood. She took a deep breath, "you must promise me. Promise to not tell anyone and to not be mad in any way."

She had a look of shame in her eyes. _What could that mean?_ If he did not promise, then she would not tell him. If he promised and earned her trust… well, was he ready for the answers? He gave her a short but firm nod. "Yes, ok, I promise."

Faelin closed her eyes. "Remember what I told you about how and why I likely can't have children? That is partly why I could not help the kids on the beach. When … and… Azula … No, you left us. And I took four of the kids to help me with supplies. We headed out to collect wood and food in the forest. Azula somehow found the camp. We saw the flames." Her hands tightened their grip on his. "But we were cut off. The beach was caught between Earth Nation fighters and Azula's small army. We couldn't get close. We tried, but I couldn't risk the four children in my immediate care. Someone from Azula's group cornered us in the trees. I couldn't hold him off. Then an earthbender stepped in and told us to head to the village. I grabbed the children and we ran as the two benders did their best to kill each other. The children were so scared…. I was so scared. What was I to do?"

This was not at all what Zuko had expected. He knew she had no clue how to fight, despite her temper. He had no clue she was cut off from the rest, defenseless without any protector. He felt doubly ashamed for leaving them there, now. It only got worse.

Faelin had to take a moment to breathe and hold back the tears the memories threatened to release. "We never made it to the village. We were intercepted by another group from the Earth Nation. Someone pulled us aside off the road. They were a traveling merchant group. He saw me for a priestess and warned me about our standing in the Earth Nation. It was not much better than in the Fire Nation. I begged him. I begged him with everything to take us to Ba Sing Se's temple. I promised him anything for the safety of the children." She pulled her hands away from Zuko and buried her face in them.

Anything. Oh gods, Zuko thought. He saw where this was leading. He could do the simple math and piece her other story right after this one. He almost could not believe it. He went to take her hands from her face and stopped. Her sleeves showed her wrists and he gasped. NO! Oh no… no no no. She couldn't be. It was too horrifying and would explain so very much. He tugged the sleeves a bit to expose the metal bands on each of her wrists. She raised her tear-streaked face from her hands and clicked her wrists together. "This is what I am now, Zuko. I am less than nothing. The children are safe in the temple so long as I never expose myself for who and what I am, so long… so long… as I do as I am told. And there is no way out. None. My contract is till death… but the children are safe. I made a choice, Zuko. "

Zuko thought their relationship was complicated before. Now it seemed almost impossible. His decision was now even more solid. He needed to get her out of this. This was no way to live. "I am going to get you out of this, Faelin. I… I care about you and this… this is not right. I have a plan."

Faelin: "What part of contract till death did you miss, Zuko?!"

Zuko: "You are a priestess and should be respected not stuffed away like a slave."

Faelin: "I had to. It was for the children."

Zuko: "I can get you out. If I get what I plan on getting, I will get you out."

There was a warning tone in her voice. "What are you planning?"

So Zuko explained his destiny to her and how he was going to trick the Dai Li into leading him to the sky bison. Then capture it and use it to capture the avatar. Then he could return home with honor and as prince, take her away from all this.

She looked at him incredulously. _Was he mad?!_ This was so not the man she was starting to fall in love with. What twisted maniac did Ozai create with this damnable quest that will not let Zuko be who he is? Why couldn't he just let go of it and move forward?! Faelin, furious with what Zuko had planned, stood fists clenched and yelled, "What in the nine hells do you think you are going to do?!? Are you out of your mind?! Have you forgotten everything your uncle has done for you? Have you forgotten everything your mother has ever said to you or taught you?! Have you forgotten who you are?! Who are you ZUKO!?! Whose bloody son are you!?! Your mother's? Or your FATHER'S!!?!!"

Faelin had bolted in anger from the warehouse. Zuko didn't follow her. He was angry with her too. _How dare she?_ She didn't understand. _Couldn't she see?_ He was trying to do something great for her? He thought she would be happy. Snarling to himself, he stood then yelled his frustration to the wall. _Fine._ He can do this without her support. This was his destiny. He had to do it! He headed to the dojo to finish making the dummy and to get his things. He was on the wall to the Middle Ring by the time it was truly dark. He waited there in hiding till midnight.

Faein bolted around buildings and through streets. She stopped in the Craftmen's District. _My gods… Zuko is going to do something so colossally stupid. _She had to stop him. But how? He would not listen to her. She thought frantically. _Who would he listen to? Mu-Tan? No, Mu-Tan trained him to do stuff like this._ Zuko must have been training for this all along. Why didn't she see it? Why didn't she see it sooner? Maybe she could have changed his train of thought earlier. _Iroh! Zuko's uncle! He could stop Zuko. And Zuko would listen to him, wouldn't he?_ Dared she reveal herself to him? She must. Zuko needed to be stopped. This was stupid and dangerous.

She prayed she was not being watched or followed. It was already dark. She knew she was not expected back for another couple hours. She dashed to the apartment complex she had escorted Zuko to before. Nervously she climbed the few stairs to Zuko's hut. Her hands shook. She was afraid to knock. For Zuko, she knocked.

Iroh answered the door and was surprised to see the cloaked woman, Zuko's sort of girlfriend. "Well hello! Zuko is not here."

"I know," said Faelin pushing back her hood.

Iroh's eyes widened with recognition. He gently pulled her in and closed the door. Then he shuttered all the windows and started some tea. So this is who Zuko has been so in love with. Iroh was a mix of excitement and anxiety. Why was she here? Why was she here in so many ways? Faelin explained everything to him. No matter how hard it was. Everything…. Then she explained Zuko's plans. She begged Iroh to stop Zuko. Find him and stop him from this craziness. He sent her on her way so she would not be late back to her master. Then he was off to follow his nephew once again. Enough was enough.

There are some things that are advantageous about having gotten so close to the spirit world and to having a priestess bind you into a promise. He was grateful for what Ursa did to him. It meant that Iroh could sometimes see the spirit world along side this one. It also meant he could always find Zuko. Iroh knelt over the spot on the wall where Zuko had waited. It was still strong with the sense of Zuko there, so he could not be far.

Zuko had memorized the map of the underground from Mu-Tan's assignment room. There was an entrance near where he chose to set his trap. He would trap a Dai Li agent and force him to lead Zuko to Appa and thus Zuko will also get to see the sections of the underground that Kozue could not get to. He dropped down into an alley in the Middle Ring where the merchants kept the trash. He stabilized the dummy in place and then went hunting for a Dai Li agent. The moon was bright and full and illuminated the areas well. It also cast interesting shadows that made the dummy look like a living being, a deceptive replica of the Blue Spirit.

This was a relatively quiet area and usually only one agent patrolled it. Zuko climbed to a roof and watched, waited, until the right moment. One man, a Dai Li agent, walked by and down the road. The Blue Spirit slipped to street level and peaked around the corner. The agent was walking in the general direction of the dummy but was going to turn down the wrong alley. Zuko took to a run, ramming the agent in the shoulder. "Out of my way, Skinny!" Zuko yelled in passing and he turned down his prepared alley. He quickly pulled himself into a dark nook.

The Dai Li agent was knocked to his knees. He stood quickly in a ready fighting stance, but the perpetrator had bolted around a corner. Furious, he gave chase. He came around the corner to see the perpetrator standing facing him at the end of the alley. Unsure if he was going to have to fight for his life, he reacted quickly by earthbending the stone glove off one hand to fly and impact the perpetrator in the chest. As his first hit was right on target, he did not want to lose the advantage and threw the second stone glove to the perpetrator's head to knock him out. He could see this was the legendary Blue Spirit. He really hoped he didn't miss. He didn't. To his surprise, his hit knocked the head clean off the man at the end of the alley and the headless body crumpled to the floor. It was no man. It was a dummy!

Just as the Dai Li agent realized this fact and was about to bolt from the obvious trap, the real Blue Spirit was behind him with the twin blades scissored around the agent's throat. "If you don't want to end up like him, you'll do what I say," warned the voice behind the mask. The agent had no choice.

Iroh found the place of the trap. He saw the headless Blue Spirit dummy and the open hatch to the underground not far from there.

The Dai Li agent led the Blue Spirit into the tunnels, never given the chance to defend himself or call for help. They passed various rooms where Zuko saw people being brainwashed. There was nothing he could do about it now. It wasn't his problem. He was busy with his destiny. They finally stopped in front of a large door to an even larger room. As the door opened, the Blue Spirit moved like lightening and struck his captive.

The Dai Li agent sank to the floor with a thud. Zuko then stepped over the body into the room and closed the door behind him. _At last,_ he thought. _SUCCESS!_ There was the sky bison with all six legs shackled to the floor. Appa snarled. Zuko's reply was taunting, "Expecting someone else?" Appa rose to his feet but could do little else but snarl as viciously as he could at Zuko. "You're mine now…"

Iroh was appalled at the brainwashing going on beneath the city. He logged this information to pass onto the White Lotus agents and to Mu-Tan. First, however, he needed to reach his nephew and this did not mean just physically. It was sheer luck that this area was not frequented by the Dai Li, otherwise Iroh would have had serious problems following his nephew. He reached the end of the ch'i trail. There was a body on the floor near a door. Iroh hung his head. Please, he prayed, let this man not have been killed in cold blood by his nephew. He knelt and checked the man's pulse. He was alive. He would wake in a few hours to probably the worst headache ever, but at least he was alive. Iroh pulled him aside from the door and settle the man in a more comfortable position. His nephew was really going too far. He had to be prepared to hurt his nephew in order to save him, save him from himself. The Dragon stirred within Iroh. Hopefully it would not come to that. He opened the door.

Zuko heard the door open. Green light shone through the opening to illuminate the floor. He spun, blades ready, ready to face Dai Li agents. The door closed behind his uncle. Stunned, Zuko lowered his weapons. The look of disappointment on his uncle's face twisted painfully in Zuko's stomach. "Uncle?"

Iroh felt a mix of disappointment, shame, and distain. "So, that's the Blue Spirit. I wonder who could be behind that mask." He already knew, though.

Revealed, Zuko removed his Blue Spirit mask. "What are you doing here?" he asked with disbelief. How did his uncle find him? And… why?

Iroh demanded with great annoyance, "I was just about to ask you the same thing. What do you plan to do now that you found the avatar's bison?! Keep it locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?"

Zuko: "First I have to get it out of here."

"And THEN WHAT?! You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened when you captured the avatar at the North Pole. You had him then you had no where to go." Iroh was clearly angry.

Defensively, Zuko replied, "I would have figured something out."

Iroh: "No! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death!"

Zuko made a short frustrated growling noise. "I know my own destiny, Uncle."

"Is it your OWN destiny or a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?" _Please,_ Iroh begged the spirits. _Please let this strike a chord somewhere in Zuko. Please…._

The conflict rose in Zuko's mind and soul. "Stop it, Uncle. I have to do this." Was this his destiny? Or was this just something his father told him he had to do? _Who are you? Whose bloody son are you? Your mother's? Or your FATHER'S?!_ Faelin's words began to echo in his mind as he turned his back to his uncle, teeth clenched hard against his uncle's words.

Iroh: "I'm begging you, Prince Zuko. It's time to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do YOU want?"

Faelin's voice repeated the words in Zuko's mind: _Who are you?_

Iroh's voice echoing again in his mind: _Who are you and what do YOU want?_

Zuko thought he would go mad with the echoing in his head. He yelled and threw down his mask and blades. He fell to his knees head in his hands.

Iroh walked cautiously over to the sky bison and spoke reassuringly to it. Reached up and gently touched Appa's nose. "Zuko is a good man. Deep down, he is very compassionate and knows the right thing to do. He has simply forgotten who he is and is in conflict."

After some mental struggle, Zuko stood and with his uncle's help broke the shackles chaining Appa to the floor. Zuko then led the way to a large cave opening he remembered from the map. He was still silent mentally struggling with his thoughts and feelings. Appa touched Zuko's shoulder with his nose in thanks and nuzzled Iroh before leaping into the air from the cliff edge of the cave.

A growing pain began to throb in Zuko's head. He led the way to the beachside exit from the tunnels. He climbed out to a chill blazing sun and drifts of early morning fog. Once out, he helped his uncle up through the opening. The pounding in Zuko's mind was like the waves crashing against the shore.

Warmly and even proudly, Iroh said, "You did the right thing, Nephew."

Zuko wasn't really sure. Did he? Deep down, he knew he did, but it hurt too. His destiny had just evaporated in that one decision to let the sky bison go. He took the mask in both hands. _Who am I? Am I just this… a series of masks? Who is behind them? What is left of me now?_

"Leave it behind." Iroh believed that Zuko really didn't need masks to hide behind. It was time to turn over a new leaf and leave this false image of himself behind.

Zuko didn't want to let go. He was afraid. _Who am I?_ The pain was terrible in his mind. The conflict grew harsher. He stepped up to the water's edge. _Whose son am I? Who controls my life? Don't I?_ Breathing was also growing painful. He dropped the mask into the water and watched it slowly sink, drowning in the depths. He felt like it was himself drowning.


	28. Chapter 28 Zuko’s Fever

_Author's Note:_

_Brutality in this one. Mind the rating!_

_**Chapter 28: Zuko's Fever**_

Iroh was so relieved to find Zuko and to reach through the fog and masks to his nephew at last. He was so proud. He was for a bit genuinely worried that Zuko was lost and had completely forgotten who he was when he found the avatar's flyer. He knew, deep deep down, that Zuko needed to help the avatar not hunt him. In many ways, the bond between Zuko and Aang was very strong. Not even Iroh understood how or why. But, Iroh was sure it would all sort itself out. One thing at a time. First, Zuko needed to understand who he was, take time to just BE.

They walked home. Zuko looked so lost inside himself, so dejected. Even his blades were too heavy a burden to have on his shoulders. He removed the strap and was not practically dragging the weight of them. He pushed open the door to the apartment. _What have I done? What have I become? Who am I?_

Iroh watched him in this sad struggle. He tried to be cheery, "You did the right thing, letting the avatar's bison go free." Zuko dragged the blades in and just dropped them on their hut's floor in the main room. Iroh frowned as he watched his nephew waver a little. He closed the door.

"I… I don't feel right…" Zuko brought his hand to his head. The pounding there was fierce. He hadn't even heard his uncle's words. They sounded like someone talking to him under water. The air felt heavy. The room began to spin a little giving him a nauseous feeling. He reached his hand out for the wall as everything began to grow dark and his vision faded to nothing, even sound faded to nothing but the drumming in his head, until even that silenced. He never felt himself fall as he moaned. He hit the small side table knocking a vase to smash on the floor as his body followed.

"ZUKO!" Iroh's heart jumped at the sight of his nephew collapsing. He hurried to him in a panic and pulled his beloved nephew into his lap. Thank gods. He was still breathing. Zuko's ch'i was a tangle of blocks and knots and confusion. It was nothing Iroh could do anything about. He gathered his nephew in his arms and held him tight for a moment. "My nephew…"

Zuko shivered as his fever rose to a terrible sweat. Iroh stripped his nephew down and bathed him clean, then pulled some loose pants over his sweat covered body. He laid Zuko onto the bed mat in Zuko's room and covered him with blankets. Zuko only moaned a little here and there, but gave no coherent protests.

The hours of the day passes slowly. Iroh stayed by his nephew with a bucket of wash water and a rag to cool him. He had arranged another bucket of clean water for drinking and his supplies for tea. This was a spiritual challenge that his nephew had to go through… alone. He wished he could do more. He wished the priestess was here to help, but he dared not leave Zuko to find her.

Late in the afternoon, Zuko stirred and moaned again. His eyes opened to the bleary image of his uncle and the vague surroundings of his bedroom. He felt so hot, like when he was in the desert alone. Hot and parched.

Iroh dipped the cloth in the cool water again and dabbed it on Zuko's brow. "You have an intense fever, nephew," he explained. "This will help cool you down."

Zuko swallowed the dryness in his throat and gasped out, "So… thirsty." He tried to sit up, but his uncle's gentle hand pushed him back down onto the bed mat.

Iroh leaned over for the water bucket and the ladle. "Here's some clean water to drink." He lifted Zuko a bit to help him drink the water. "Stay under the blankets and sweat this out."

Zuko's thirst was too demanding. He grabbed the ladle and poured the water onto his mouth, heedless of what spilled. It was not enough. More water… he felt he needed more water. He turned over and grabbed the bucket. He drank from that as much as he could as it poured over his burning skin and spilled to the floor. When it was empty, he threw the bucked in weak frustration. He rolled back over onto the bed mat, curled on his side as coughing racked his body for a moment.

Iroh was worried. He tucked the blanket around his nephew and rested his hand on Zuko's shoulder a moment. Then he cleaned up the mess and filled the water bucket again. He made some food for himself and prepared some tea blends for the evening. Zuko was going to need something special to hopefully help open up the blockages in his ch'i. He opened one of the cupboards and took out some peppermint oil and some ginseng root extract and his best green tea.

While the ginseng and green tea brewed and the incense burned, Iroh anointed each of Zuko's chakras with the oil. He remembered how distraught he himself was when he returned home after his son's death. He was in no better shape than Zuko was now. It was Ursa who had done this for him. Now, he would do it for her son. Although, he did not have the gift she did to bend ch'i. He rubbed the sharp peppermint oil on his fingers. The scent filled the room with its freshness. He ran his fingers through Zuko's hair to anoint the crown chakra. He rubbed a small amount of the oil into Zuko's temples and between his brows to help ease the thundering in his head. He touched Zuko's throat and the back of his neck. Zuko shifted a little in his delirious fever. Iroh rubbed more oil onto his fingers and continued. He pressed his hand to Zuko's heart. This needed the most attention. He rested his hand there for a few seconds before moving on. He touched oil to Zuko's solar plexus and navel. Zuko squirmed as Iroh anointed the sacral or root chakra, but did not wake. Iroh rubbed more oil onto his fingers and then anointed the backs of Zuko's knees, the bottoms of his feet and the centers of his palm. By now the tea was brewed strong. He added a few grains of sugar to the tea and a drop of the peppermint oil.

Zuko's breathing came easier and the coughing eased a bit. Zuko stirred and woke as Iroh poured the tea. "You should know that this is not a natural sickness," Iroh advised his nephew. "But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying tea." Iroh smiled as he helped Zuko to sip the tea.

Zuko felt a bit clearer, enough to understand what his uncle had said and yet, he didn't really understand. "What? What's happening?"

"Your critical decision. What you did beneath that lake. It was in such conflict with your image of yourself that you are now at war within your own mind and body." Iroh felt bad for Zuko. He knew what it was like to endure this.

After swallowing some tea, Zuko asked, scared and confused, "What's that mean?" The coughing started up again and folded in on himself on the bed mat.

Iroh sighed sadly, sympathetically, "You are going through a metamorphosis, my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience." Zuko's fever was rising again and sweat beaded his whole body. Iroh soaked the cloth in the cool water again. "But when you come out of it, you will be the beautiful prince you were always meant to be." Lovingly, he soothed Zuko's fever then sat back to wait it out.

-----

Faelin was hurrying back to her room from speaking with Iroh. That went better than she had expected. She was glad to see the ch'i line connecting Iroh to his nephew. She wondered who had put that in place. Another priestess for certain. Someone else was a spirit-bender like herself. She turned a corner at the edge of the red lantern district to be roughly grabbed and lifted off her feet by that sumo guard of her master's. She struggled and kicked, but it was no use. He carried her struggling into the back storage room next to her own room.

She was dropped on the floor like a sack of rice. "Hold her down," the house master ordered the guard. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she struggled against him. He pinned her to the floor. She heard the click of the cane the master used to discipline his servants. "If you are going to walk farther than permitted, then I must give a reminder. He lifted her skirt to expose her legs, and there he struck her three full times with the bamboo cane. Red welts marked where he struck. She cried out and tried to struggle. He struck a fourth time and almost a fifth, but something caught his attention and he pause. "What is this?" He pushed up her skirt a little higher to see the tattooing above her knees. "Ahhh… so it is true of that you priestesses were tattooed. I should have explored this long long ago! Hold her still!" Despite being unable to move, she struggled as much as she could. Her mind flashed to the man who took advantage of her body years ago in the place of the girl she protected. This man was no different as he slid his hands up her legs pushing her skirts to her hips to get a good look at these tattoos. He wondered just where they all went. She tried to kick, but couldn't. He held her firmly. She tried to scream but it was muffled by a huge hand.

An urgent knock at the door interrupted them. The master stood and struck her once more on the thighs with the cane. "If I catch you again," he warned. Then he left the room and the guard released Faelin and left as well.

She curled up on the floor pulling her skirts to her ankles again. She wrapped her arms around her legs and wept. It was several hours before she was able to stand. The bruising was so painful. She limped to her bed mat in the next room. She wept again into her pillow. _Was it worth it? Did Iroh find his nephew and stop him? Was the risk worth it? For this? Yes… Zuko was worth it._ She silently begged the spirits to protect him, if not her, then at least him.

-----

Mu-Tan had arrived at the apartment to speak with Iroh about his findings and the Earth King when he saw the cloaked woman out of the corner of his eye. She slipped into the shadows and chose to eavesdrop on what transpired. He overheard all of Faelin's tale. He overheard Zuko's foolish plans. He was deeply ashamed of his new apprentice. Faelin rushed out and Iroh soon followed but instead headed for the Middle Ring. This was important news. This changed Mu-Tan's plans a little. Zuko was going to get inside the Dai Li headquarters. He had no doubt of Zuko's success in that matter. It would give the Silver Circle and the Counsel of Five something to work with. He tried to feel less disappointed.

It was now time to put his plans with Kozue into action.

He sought her out. She was not easy to find. She was like a ghost. She could still herself so much so that you would think she was dead. They sat in the basement of the dojo. Ling and Bao-Li joined them as did an elderly man whose name no one really knew. He always played Pai Sho with Iroh in the square though and sometimes assisted in running the Pai Sho Tea House in Middle Ring with his son.

Mu-Tan stood and addressed Kozue. "It is time. We have a very long and very dangerous mission and you are perhaps the only one we think might be able to do it with any measure of success." Each man places a scroll on the table in front of her. "These messages must be taken to their people inside the Fire Nation."

Kozue looked at the names on each scroll. Two made her raise an eyebrow. "May I open this? It has my name on it." She grinned a sideways smile. "Mission one complete, one message delivered!" They all smirked and snickered. Mu-Tan nodded to her. She opened it. It was a list of the information she was to seek out while there. "So my mission here with the Earth King is stalled or finished?"

Bao-Li answered, "Yes and no. You are being pulled off of it as there are things about to rapidly change in this area. We need you elsewhere. It is essentially the same mission… just a different country."

Everyone was then dismissed. Kozue came to Mu-Tan and tugged his sleeve. He stopped and looked at her. She held out the other scroll that made her eyebrow rise. "Is this who I think it is? Princess Ursa? You apprentice's mother?"

Mu-Tan: "Yes. Be careful, Kozue. She was in great danger when we last had word from her. I do not know for certain if she is even alive."

Ling was waiting at the top of the stairs where he pulled his daughter into his arms and hugged her. "Father, please. This is nothing more than another mission. Better yet," she pulled away, "I don't have a no-kill restrictions on this one!" She grinned broadly as she left. Ling sighed. Mu-Tan patted Ling's shoulder.

Kozue headed to her room upstairs and packed her meager belongings. She considered leaving at sunset. However, something tugged at her inside. She decided she was going to first say goodbye to someone.

Kozue had snuck past Travahar in the dojo. That wasn't really hard. He was busy checking himself out in the mirror and showing off to the girl he brought with him. She paused to inspect the girl from her hiding place in a shadow. Pretty. She would do as a distraction to anyone following or spying on Travahar. Too bad she didn't get the opportunity to train Travahar. _He was… interesting. It could have gotten real fun._ She wondered if Travahar was as much fun as Zuko was. She held the memory of her kisses with Zuko on the roof all the way to her destination. As the sun set, she sped over the rooftops like a swift shadow and around buildings like a ghost.

The sun was well set when she reached the South Quarter. She ghosted around to where Zuko lived. Carefully, she crept over the roof. It was so quiet. She gripped the edge and rolled to flip over that edge and hang there a moment. Then she dropped silently to the ground just outside Iroh's window. Odd. Usually dinner would be in the making about now or evening tea. She pressed her back against the wall and slid to the open window with the Bonsai trees on the sill. It was dark but for a dim flickering oil lamp in Zuko's bedroom. The door to Zuko's room was open. Of the times she had spied on him this was never so. She looses a small dagger into her hand, just in case.

She hopped gracefully through the window to land softly on the floor inside. She remained in her crouched cat stance for almost ten whole minutes listening. The scent of fresh peppermint was in the air. No one seemed to notice her. She heard rustling and mumbling and little stressed moans like someone in night terrors. _Was Zuko having another one?_ She stood and padded quietly over to the opened door to his bedroom. As she peaked in, Iroh was asleep against the wall near the bed mat. Kozue pulled back away from the door suddenly. She stayed still listening. Still, no one seemed to have noticed her. She was adept at creeping into places silently like a ghost, right past sleeping people. The only time she had difficulty was when she delivered a message with Mu-Tan. There was a blind earthbender in the bed there who was so sensitive, that it took all her skill to escape unseen.

Kozue stepped one slow step at a time, till she was inside the bedroom and standing in the darkest corner. There she stilled herself for almost half an hour. She stilled her breathing and slowed her heart. No one would sense her there, not unless they were used to seeing ghosts. She just wanted to say a quick goodbye to Zuko. Best that she did so while he slept. He was still not pleased with her.

She watched the old man warily. When she was certain he was not about to move, she shifted her attention to Zuko. He was tossing and turning, breathing erratically and rapidly. He was covered in sweat. Kozue frowned. Zuko did not look well. She almost stepped towards Zuko when he rolled over suddenly and knocked over the teapot. Iroh woke and tiredly cleaned up. Kozue froze as she was leaning forward. She slowly leaned back and cursed herself as the moonlight winked off the silver circle band on the delicate chain around her neck. Back in the shadow, she almost held her breath. Zuko's uncle almost looked right at her for a second or three, but otherwise appeared to not have noticed her. He spoke soothingly to Zuko, worry filling his face. "I am sorry, nephew. I am doing all I can. The oils will help. I hope. I wish I could get word to your beloved priestess. She would know how to balance your ch'i and help complete your metamorphosis. I just don't dare leave you." Zuko groaned and Iroh dabbed the cool wet cloth on his brow and on the back of his neck before putting it in the water basin again. With a big yawn he curled up on the hard wood floor, not willing to leave his sick nephew.

Kozue remained hidden for an hour. She waited. She watched. The old man slept. Then Kozue took a few steps and knelt beside Zuko. She softly pressed her left palm to his brow. He looked like he was in such pain. His brow was burning hot. She frowned and placed her right palm on the back of his neck. It was burning hot there too. This was not good. He curled onto his side facing her and coughed a couple times. She moved her hand away from his brow and under the blackest to his chest. Any hotter and her hands could be burned by him. This was truly not good. Stronger men have died of less hot fevers than this. She smoothed Zuko's hair and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I have to go, fire prince. You were a fine pupil and much fun. But this is goodbye. I am off to the Fire Nation on a mission. I will try to find your mother while I am there. I… don't usually make up missions as I go, but… I am going to do one for you before I am gone. I am going to get you help. I am going to get the priestess you love to come here. I swear it. If it is the last thing I do for you. Please do not hate me for the things I have done before. They are lessons you will need, in a fight… and when you are with her. Goodbye." She kissed his hot cheek, irregardless of the scar there. She never noticed the sleeping dragon watching her with one eye open. She stood and slipped out the way she came in.

Zuko was uncomfortably hot. It felt stuffy and yet damp like he was in a hot steam bath or a strange fog. _Must be a fog._ He could not properly move or clearly think. It was like when he was struck by his father's fireball in the duel. _How many years ago was that? Three? Five? Yesterday?_ He stirred and opened his eyes. His uncle was there with a damp cloth, just like before. Darkness invaded again.

_Somewhere in the fog came General Zhao's voice. Admiral Zhao? General Zhao? "You can't compete with me. You are just a banished prince. No home, no allies. Your own father doesn't even want you." That was not true! Zuko was sure it was not true. Once he captured the avatar and brought him home, his father would welcome him home with honor. Wouldn't he? This was not Zhao. Zhao was dead, taken by the Ocean Spirit as punishment for killing the Moon Spirit. Upsetting the balance of the world… it had its consequences. _

_Consequences. quack quack The angry turtleduck squawked at him after she had bitten him for being mean to her babies. He wasn't intentionally mean. He was just showing his mother what Azula would do. Azula was always mean. "Dad's gonna kill you… really." Azula always lies. Azula always lies. "I've come with a message from home. Father's changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him. He's heard rumors of plans to overthrow him—treacherous plots. Family are the only ones you can really trust. Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home." Azula always lies. Azula always lies. _

Zuko gripped his blanket and mumbled the words out loud as Iroh placed the cold wet cloth on his brow. How many times did his uncle do this? Zuko slid through fever and waves of hot and hotter. He was nauseous all the time. He was thirsty, parched.

_Azula was born lucky. Zuko, well his father had said he was lucky to have been born. The desert sun was hot and dry. He was thirsty. The ostrich-horse staggered. The dust made him cough. Zuko coughed several times. So thirsty. Everything blurred. Mother? The scent of sunflowers. The flash of twin blades in moonlight. Never give up without a fight. Zuko held the twin blades in a field of flowers. These are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don't think of them as separate, because they're not. They're just two different parts of the same whole. Two different parts of the same whole._

Zuko dreamed of every fight he had, of the fire that burned him, of the fire that waged back and forth across a deck in a duel with Zhao. He remembered Zhao's dishonorable behavior when he lost. _I am honorable,_ he thought. _I would never turn my back on my duty._

_Shouts rose around him. They were an hour or more from the beach. As Zuko looked over. Fire was erupting where he had left the children… where he had left Faelin. They were supposed to be safe. He left them. He turned his back on them. A broken promise. A little girl was holding his hand on the beach as she died. NOOOO!_

Zuko yelled and sat up. Iroh gently pushed him back and soothed him with the wet cloth.

-----

Faelin's legs hurt less the next day. They were still bruised horrible colors, but at least she could walk. She was confined to working in the red lantern house decorating and cleaning all the room. She restocked the candles in each room. She refilled the perfume bottles. She dragged down the old bedding to be cleaned and put new bedding on all the bed. All the other servants were given a day off. She had to do everything. She finally got a meal near sunset, just before she started washing the bedding. Once several sheets were washed and hung, she collapsed exhausted on her bed mat. It was all she could do throughout the day to seem too busy. The master watched her constantly. She didn't know what was on his mind. He could have been thinking of new ways to cause her pain. He could have been thinking of undressing her and raping her on the bed she was fitting with new sheets. She was glad to be in her room away from his prying eyes.

A ghost drifted among the hung bed sheets, watching Faelin. The girl on the bed mat was pretty in a simple sort of way, _would be prettier without the bruises._ Kozue sighed. _So this is who has Zuko's heart? This is the great spirit-bending priestess? She didn't look like much. An abused slave, she hardly seemed capable of doing what the others seemed to think she could. And that sumo guard,_ Kozue had to dodge him lots. He watched the entrances like a hound. Kozue was unimpressed with this example of Zuko's love. She felt he could do better. Certainly he could at least be interested in someone free. This relationship was impossibly complicated. Zuko was just wasting his time. _Speaking of wasting time… Zuko didn't have much left with the fever he suffered. Zuko's uncle better be right about this._ Kozue would have to expose herself to keep Faelin from being followed by the sumo guard. _Why do this?_ Kozue was annoyed with herself for imposing such a task upon herself. And yet, it was… right… inside her. It felt like the right thing to do. She silently cursed herself for feeling that much. At least, maybe Zuko will find some modicum of happiness if he survives the fever. She will content herself with that notion on her journey to the Fire nation.

Something brushed Faelin's cheek. She sat suddenly, "Zuko?" she whispered into the darkness.

"To say that name aloud before knowing who it is could get you killed," warned Kozue.

Faelin gasped. _Who was this?_ Kozue stepped into the meager light of the moon peaking through the crack in the window shutters. _Another assassin._ Faelin was sure of it. _And one who knew Zuko. This could be bad… real bad._

Kozue: "For some reason, I feel compelled to help him and thus you. I may never share another fiery kiss with him, but I hope he can still give them to someone in the future."

Faelin was confused. _Who was this person? She kissed Zuko?!_

"Are you coming?" Kozue said as she stood up.

Faelin finally found her voice. "Who are you? Why are you here? And where am I supposed to go? I am not permitted to leave the building till tomorrow." Faelin's stomach twisted a little. She was not sure if it was the tiny hint of jealousy or feeling of betrayal or if it was the growing sense that something terrible happened to Zuko.

Kozue sighed, "That sumo guy? The one watching that you don't leave? Oh, he will be out for … a while. Morning will come before he realizes it and he will have the wickedest headache he ever had." Kozue smiled a very seductive smile. "So? Are you coming?" Her voice was almost cheery, then serious again. "Your boyfriend needs you. He is sick with a killer fever."

_Boyfriend? Sick? KILLER FEVER?!_ A chill went down Faelin's spine as she hurriedly dressed. Did she dare trust this woman who snuck into her room? Dare she trust this woman who says she kissed Zuko? She got the feeling this woman would not give her a choice about staying or going.

They walked out the back storage room door. The sumo guard was on the floor by the door, unconscious. Faelin stared in awe at the sight of him. "Some poisons are quite useful!" Kozue volunteered with joy. Faelin shivered at this woman's nonchalance about what she did. This was the cold kind of assassin. _What on earth and in the name of all the ancestors was Zuko doing with such a woman and kissing her no less!? _"You are very pretty, especially when you are about to be angry. I can see why he likes you now." Faelin wanted to slap this woman. She would have if the sense of urgency to get to Zuko was not there.

Faelin was slower that Kozue. She couldn't climb the buildings or dash through the shadows of the streets. She was too inept at the fine arts that it almost annoyed Kozue. Now she couldn't see why Zuko liked her. As they got farther from the red lantern district and closer to Zuko's apartment, Faelin grew nervous. Kozue rolled her eyes in greater annoyance. "If anyone if following us, I will just kill them. So stop it."

Faelin looked at her in shock. _Was she serious? She was,_ Faelin realized and continued to follow. At the door, Kozue stopped. "I have to go now. Do what you can for him. Remember, you have only till sunrise to get back before anyone notices you gone." She vanished into the shadows.

Faelin knocked on the door. It was so late at night. No one came. _Maybe they were asleep? Maybe Zuko was so sick that Iroh would not leave his side?_ That thought gave her courage to open the door. It was not locked. It was dark inside save for a barely flickering lamplight in the room to the left. She closed the door and noticed the scent of peppermint, hints of sandalwood and amber, and green tea with ginseng. A wash of memories came with the smells, memories of temple services, of meditations, and rite for the chakras.

She walked to the door on the left. Iroh had just started to brew tea. He looked up at her sadly. She unconsciously brought her hand to her mouth at the sight of Zuko on the bed mat. He was soaked with sweat and in a delirious fever, lost in dark abysses and consumed by fire. "Please, Faelin," begged Iroh quietly, "He needs you. I cannot do the rites."

She removed her cloak and set it on the hook by the door. Kneeling, she touched Zuko's brow with her hand. He mumbled and turned away from her. She put her hand beneath the blanket and felt the bed mat and points on his back. "All this bedding must be changed. It is soaked through. It will not help him this way." Iroh told her to get the bed mat from his room. As she pulled the other bed mat into this room, Iroh was lifting his nephew off the old one. Faelin changed them and dragged the old one out to air and dry in the main room.

Iroh then fetched a new blanket to cover Zuko. Faelin was so calm and in charge. It was a relief. He was glad that the Silver Circle woman from earlier was able to bring her. Iroh paused at the door to watch Faelin. She placed her left hand behind Zuko's neck to cradle his head a little, but to also give an anchoring point for her ch'i bending. With her right hand, she placed it over his heart. She closed her eyes and her tattoos glowed a warm honey gold. Iroh did not want to disturb this. He waited.

Zuko was a ball of knots and tangled thread on fire. His chakras were alternating from wide open to fully blocked causing so many internal imbalances. His fever from it all was so high, high enough to kill. The other woman was right. "We need ice."

It was not an offhand comment, not even a suggestion. It was a command. Iroh set down the blankets and headed over to the only place he knew had ice. He had promised the Tea Shop he would still work there until all the arrangements were settled and to help train a replacement. So, Iroh still had a key. He went to the basement and filled two large buckets with ice chunks. He hooked the buckets to a shoulder bar and carried them back to the apartment.

There, Iroh and Faelin prepared an ice bath. Zuko was lifted into it. The shock of the cold roused him into semi-wakefulness, delirious semi-wakefulness. He yelled and struggled.

_From waves of flames across a deck to the sudden plunge into icy Northern depths, Zuko struggled to surface. He could not dare drown. He could not stay in this water long or he would freeze to death. He hated the North Pole. He had come so close to having the avatar there. Why had the avatar bothered to save him? After capturing him and keeping him in a cave while he tried to figure out what to do, the avatar should have left him there to freeze to death. _

Zuko heard his uncle's voice. "Rest now, Prince Zuko." He laid his head back on the pillow as his uncle pulled the blanket over his naked, but slightly cooled body. Darkness sucked him back into its depths.

Faelin tried to not look worried, but she was. It had been so long since she had done anything like this. Part of her knew what to do, but a greater part of her couldn't remember. That is what worried her most, that she would not remember how to do the rituals. _What if Zuko died? Died here in her arms when she could have done something but forgot how?_ Her heart fluttered nervously in her chest like a trapped bird. The tattoos had faded. Worse, Zuko's fever was rising again. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on him, one on his brow and one on his chest. He groaned. Her tattoos glowed. She reached for his spirit.

Darkness swallowed her as quickly as a dragon snapping its jaws down upon her. Fire erupted through her senses. She cried out and pulled away from Zuko. Iroh had grabbed her to keep her from falling over. The glow was gone again from her tattoos. She looked at her shaking hands, to see if they were burned. They were fine. She brought them to her face to hide her tears. She failed. She didn't know what to do. His fever was so high. The turmoil was so great. Shakily she told Iroh they needed more ice for another ice bath.

Zuko could not be still as his fever grew once again intense. He had such a pained look on his face. Faelin tried to cool him with the cloth while Iroh went to get more ice. It felt like Zuko was on fire. Faelin racked her brain for what her old training could provide. The rites had to be there. She learned it, she knew she did. She could bend spirit energy, why could she not do it here? What was she doing wrong? She studied the oils that Iroh had set aside. The lotus oil was rare. He hadn't even opened it yet. The mint, she could still smell in the room. She prayed she figured it out before sun up.

_Zuko tossed and turned. He tensed. He braced himself for a blast of fire only to be bathed in cool breezes. The halls of the palace always had cool breezes. It was a shame the war room had to be hot and stuffy. Zuko heard voices. A general explained the tactic, "…__A dangerous battalion of their strongest earthbenders and fiercest warriors, so I am recommending the 41st division." An older general countered, "But the 41st is entirely new recruits. How do you expect them to defeat a powerful Earth Kingdom battalion?" The first general stated coldly, "I don't. They'll be used as a distraction while we mount an attack from the rear. What better to use as bait then fresh meat?" Zuko was appalled! "You can't sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them?" _

_Fire erupted around him. Sweat beaded his whole body. "Fight for your honor!" echoed his father's words in the heat. Zuko begged not to. He begged out loud. He refused to fight declaring his loyalty to his nation and his father. "You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." Flames engulfed him and he screamed._

Zuko screamed and screamed. Faelin did all she could to soothe him. Iroh's hands were full preparing another ice bath. His fever once again so high, Zuko was no longer aware of anything. Darkness and coolness swallowed his awareness. Faelin held Zuko's head while Iroh filled more ice into the bathing tub. Faelin chews her lower lip while she thought about the oils and slowly pieced together the memories of the chakra balancing rite.

_Zuko swam in darkness. Somewhere in the distance, Zuko heard his uncle's words of disappointment. "__I suggest you think about what it is that you want from your life and why." Zuko argued that he wanted his destiny! But… what was his destiny? "Is it your OWN destiny or a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?" Was this his destiny? Or was this just something his father told him he had to do? "I'm begging you, Prince Zuko. It's time to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do YOU want?" Faelin's harsh words crashed in on him, "__Have you forgotten everything your uncle has done for you? Have you forgotten everything your mother has ever said to you or taught you?! Have you forgotten who you are?! Who are you ZUKO!?! Whose bloody son are you!?! Your mother's? Or your FATHER'S!!?!!" Faelin? Mother?_

Iroh laid Zuko again on the bed mat. The fever was still high but starting to ease. Faelin mixed the lotus oil and the peppermint oil in a cup. She then asked Iroh to light some spiritual incense, like a sandalwood and amber incense and another couple candles. Iroh lit the same incense he used as offerings to his own son. As he did so, she calmed her mind and pulled up all the memories she had on the chakra balancing rite. The light scent of the sandalwood and amber filled the air and blended with the mint and lotus oils. She opened her eyes and channeled her ch'i. Her tattoos glowed a strong golden hue. She started with Zuko's palms, rubbing the oil there and closing the chakras. Then she went to his feet and did the same there, and then behind his knees. She took a slow deep breath and anointed the root chakra and closed the energy there. Then she moved to his navel and his solar plexus.

_Who are you?_

_Who are you and what do YOU want?_

_Who are you?_

_Who am I?_

_WHO AM I!?_

_MOTHER!!!_

_Ursa' soft voice was in the background, muffled by the haziness of sleep. "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done," she hugs him, "I've done to protect you. Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are."_

Faelin rubbed more oil over his heart but did not fully close that chakra.

_Never forget who you are…._

_Who are you?_

_Never forget who you are…._

_Who am I?_

_Zuko: "I failed."_

_Ursa: "No, I loved watching you. That's who you are Zuko. Someone who keeps fighting even though it's hard."_

_I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am._

She anointed Zuko's throat, closing that chakra almost all the way but not quite. Then she proceeded to the back of his neck, between his brows and then his temples. She rubbed the oil into his hair and closed his crown chakra. With another slow deep breath, he breathed with her. One of her hands was on the back of his neck, the other over his heart. They breathed together. On the third breath, she poured her energy into him opening his charkas to a balanced level.

_Whose son are you? Your mother's? Or your father's?_

_I am Prince Zuko. Son of Ursa. Nephew of Iroh. Heir to the Fire Nation Throne._

Zuko's hand rested over Faelin's on his chest. Strange smells were all around him. The soft hues from candle light shone about the room. As he opened his eyes, he saw Faelin smiling back at him. He smiled at her and closed his eyes again.

Iroh brought in another blanket and he and Faelin bundled Zuko in it. Zuko still had a fever, but it was nothing like before. "I have to go. I need to be back before the sun rises," she whispered. Iroh hugged her briefly, grateful tears in his eyes. Then she leaned down, kissed Zuko on the brow and left. She was back in her own room before anyone had noticed. The sumo guard was snoring as she had passed him in the alley.


	29. Chapter 29: Recovery

**_Chapter 29: Recovery_**

Zuko was tired and weak, and completely sick of the scent of peppermint. He staggered to his window and opened it. The cold air hit him as hard as when that waterbender, Katara, hit him with ice. He pulled on some clothes and came to sit in the main room. "Uncle?" he asked hoarsely, "Are you making something to eat? I'm hungry."

Iroh put down the bowls on the counter, ignored his tea and came to hug his nephew hard.

"Uncle, Uncle…" Zuko sighed and gave in to the hug.

Iroh finally let go of Zuko. He was not ready to say anything in case he gushed or got tearful and he knew that made Zuko feel awkward. He was just so glad to see Zuko looking not like death warmed over hot coals. He poured the soup from the pot into the bowl and set it in front of Zuko. Then he prepared tea for them both. "You need to rest, nephew. Stay in bed till I get back."

Confused, Zuko had to ask, "Where are you going?"

Iroh: "I need to go into the old Tea Shop and train the new people working there."

Zuko: "Faelin? Was she really here or did I dream it, uncle? She isn't still mad at me is she? I guess she has every right to be."

Iroh was so proud that his nephew was recognizing when he did something stupid or hurtful and accepting that it was wrong. It was hard to do, and it takes a strong man to admit he was wrong. "Yes, she was here. But she could not stay. She does have every right to be angry at you, but I think she loves you anyways. When you are well, you can go apologize to her." With a wicked grin on his face he announced, "And making up is always the best!" He snickered to himself knowing that Zuko likely had no clue what he was talking about.

Zuko didn't know what his uncle was talking about and just gave him a look like his uncle just lost his mind. Though, Faelin was here. Zuko sighed. Zuko vaguely remembered feeling her hand on his chest and just knowing it was her. He vaguely remembered opening his eyes to see her smiling at him with all her tattoos aglow, aglow for him. He slowly sipped spoonfuls of soup.

After the soup and tea, Zuko was steered back to bed and the windows were closed against the chill. Zuko was asleep again before Iroh finished closing the windows. Iroh pulled the blankets over Zuko's shoulder. "My nephew, my son," he whispered under his breath as he left. "My beautiful prince."

Zuko woke in the afternoon. His uncle was not back yet. Looking around, he noticed things no longer in neat order. It annoyed him. So, he got up and tidied the place. He had to sit frequently because the effort exhausted him, but at least the place was clean. He then aired out the apartment. The sun was out and the air warmer than this morning. He stood in the doorway just soaking it up for many long minutes.

Back inside, he opened the tin with the herbal blend thankfully premixed for his favorite tea. He would never admit to anyone that he actually liked tea, just in case someone called him "his royal tea-loving kookiness" as his sister called his uncle. The scent of the bergamot and vanilla was so soothing. He was no longer at war with himself internally, but now, he was feeling very lost.

_Who am I?_

_What do I want out of life?_

He set up a little meditation altar with candles and incense and a cushion to kneel on. It took a lot of effort to firebend the candles and incense lit. He just sat on the cushion and sipped the tea as he recovered from the effort.

_Where do I go from here?_

It was time to look inward, or so his uncle said, and that is exactly what he intended to do. Let go, wasn't that what Kozue had told him? To trust yourself, you sometimes need to let go. He realized it wasn't a letting go of control. On the contrary, it was a maintaining control but a letting go of the self and one's attachments to one's fears and past constrictions. Father was like a constricting serpent. If he was not pleased, or it was not what he wanted, he squeezed you to death to get what he wanted. If you died, oh well. His sister was no better. Her thirst for power could never be quenched. They seemed to always hold him back. His fear of them, of becoming like them… yes, that was more what it was. He was afraid to become like them. Crazy. Consumed by power. They never bothered to stop at the threshold of their power and consider the consequences of their actions. They crossed the line, leapt off the cliff's edge and were consumed by the flames with joyful abandon. Yes, they were crazy. He never wanted to be like them. The memory of the glassblower's story came to mind.

_What has my father done to the Fire Nation? _

_He has let power and greed dictate his actions. He is no better than Sozen. He has ruined the culture and faith, the honor and pride of the people of the Fire Nation all for his desire to control the world. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even the desire for absolute power can corrupt one absolutely. _

_I have not lost my honor. I have not shamed my people. I am not a disgrace. My father is… and so is my sister… for betraying the love and trust of our people. Uncle was right. They must go down. I don't know how to do that yet, but I will figure it out. The throne should have been uncle's not Ozai's. I will never call him my father again. When I cut the tail of hair from my head, I cut my ties to that family. I am my mother's son, Faelin. I am my uncle's nephew. I am an exiled prince. I am half the man I thought I would be. Is that enough? I may never be king. Is that alright? If I do become king… if I do, who will stand by my side? Uncle? Faelin? The nation will be a mess. Can I put it back together? I am a mess. I should start by putting myself back together. _

He spent a good deal of time just meditating till his uncle came home and set food out for them to eat.

It was dark out already and very chill. Zuko ate in silence. Iroh watched him with concern, "Are you feeling better, Nephew?"

Zuko, who was fiddling with his food and not really eating it, looked up. "Huhn? Um… yes. I think … I think I want to go back to the dojo tomorrow. I think Ty-min is coming tomorrow. I am sure I missed a day with her." Zuko sighed. "I have really made a mess of things, haven't I, Uncle? What now?"

So Zuko wanted to now climb out of the hole he was dumped in. Iroh was pleased, but sad. Pleased because it was about time. Sad because this was always a difficult thing to do, to figure out one's place is in the world. "Well, start with her. One small step at a time, Nephew. And if you stay at the dojo tomorrow, take it easy. You are not at full strength, yet."

-----

The sky was steel grey as Zuko walked to the tram to wait for Ty-min. The wind was chill. _So much for tropical wet or tropical dusty_, he thought. Another thought came to him while he waited. _Mu-Tan had said something about the weird weather and the history of Ba Sing Se. What was it? Oh yeah. Just before Sozen's comet came, the weather was weird just like this and the world was out of balance. Just like I was, out of balance and in turmoil and at war._ Zuko frowned as the pieces started to click into place. He needed more information.

While lost in thought, a little girl came barreling into him. "Lookie lookie lookie!" She showed him a small scroll with her name very clearly written on it. "I did this!!! All by myself!! And you weren't here like you promised before! Where were you?!" She snatched the scroll away and put her fists on her hips scoldingly.

Zuko tried not to snicker at her. He really didn't have the energy for much at the moment anyways. He knelt and pulled her into a hug. "I was very sick Ty-min. Very very sick."

Ty-min looked suddenly worried. "Are you gonna die?"

Zuko: "No. But I think I will be a little while before I have the energy to try to spar even with you."

Ty-min grinned. "You mean, I can actually beat you into the mats today?!"

Zuko chuckled, "Um… no… please spare me the embarrassment."

Ty-Min handed him the scroll again for him to admire. She babbled about all kinds of stuff she saw and did. She babbled about how ManYee's daughter was getting fat with the baby growing inside her. She babbled about how she practiced every day the forms she learned from the dojo. She babbled how she wanted to stay with her new daddy and asked when that will be.

Zuko: "Soon, I think. Soon. There are several things I have to do first."

Ty-min: "Where's Faelin? Do you still love her?"

Zuko blushed a fierce red as others entering the dojo overheard Ty-min's loud and clear query. "Yes," he mumbled. "She is busy right now. Maybe we will find her for dinner."

-----

They hadn't found Faelin. Zuko was somewhat disappointed and somewhat relieved. He wasn't sure what he would say to her, or how to apologize. He missed her though, lots.

Zuko returned the dojo after a small meal. He explained to Mu-Tan that he was ill, but still wanted to be here. Mu-Tan told him to kneel and observe the students. "Watch their moves. Look for their strengths and weaknesses. I'll have you do that for the next few days. Then you can submit a written report on what you have observed. And when you can, stretch and work through the forms slowly. I don't want you losing out too much. There will be a competition a month after Winter Solstice. I am considering enrolling some of the students in it this year. I'd like you there."

Zuko was surprised. "Me?"

Mu-Tan smiled proudly at Zuko, "Yes you. You are one of my finest pupils."

The look reminded Zuko of when his uncle stood on the stairs of the hill spa. His uncle put his hand on his shoulder there and gave him the same smile. It was the smile he had always hoped to get from his father. He knew now that he never would. But these men, his uncle and Mu-Tan, these men of honor and respect, it was their proud smiles that really mattered. It made Zuko want to do more and do better. It helped fill some of the empty ache where he cut out his disgraceful family. It helped fill that hole and lift his spirits.

_I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am._

_That's who you are Zuko. Someone who keeps fighting even though it's hard._

Mu-Tan walked to the shrine and pulled out of one small drawer and scroll. He had wanted to give this to Zuko as a gift for Winter Solstice, but he felt now was a better time. He handed it to Zuko. "Read it and then tuck it away. You may keep it, it is yours."

Zuko unfurled the small scroll and read the beautiful calligraphy:

_** The greatest glory is not in never failing, **_

_** but in rising up every time we fall. **_

_** Confucius **_

Zuko gasped as he read it. It was like Mu-Tan was reading his mind. He stood quickly and bowed very honorably and humbly. "Thank you, Sifu Mu-Tan." He then rolled up the scroll and tucked it inside the shirt of his uniform as Travahar entered followed by the rest of the students a few minutes later.


	30. Chapter 30: Travahar & Hwa Lan

_Author's Notes:_

_Travahar is modeled after a friend from France (I think) who is also on the Avatar Portal Forum. I have named the character for this man as well. He assisted in writing some of this chapter._

_Hwa Lan is modeled after my one of my best friends. She helps me a lot with the details of Asian noble activity as she spent some time studying this in university. Thanks Robyn/Coyote!_

**_Chapter 30: Travahar & Hwa Lan_**

Travahar wondered why Zuko didn't join the exercises. He kind of looked pale as if he had been seriously sick. Suddenly Zuko turned his head a bit and a pair of golden eyes stared into a set of emerald green ones. Travahar thought Zuko caught him staring so he quickly gave Mu-tan his full attention even though he already mastered the move this one showed. During the rest of the training Travahar kept shooting glares at Zuko from the corner of his eyes and quickly returned his attention to performing his moves when he noticed Zuko watched him. It was only after someone made him eat mat that he noticed Zuko was checking the other students out as well. He calmed his breath and noted that Zuko was now closely watching the people training next to them. Travahar concluded that Zuko wasn't fit enough to train with them and was now enjoying a lesson in learning-by-watching.

Back in the dress room after training, he slowly peeled the sweaty uniform off his body. One by one, the other students left the room, some of them with a small nod at him, until he was the only one left. He walked to the huge wash barrel with ice water in the corner and grabbed the sides with his hands. He smiled slightly when he heard soft footsteps nearing the door. From the moment he had seen the cute Hwa Lan till the moment he brought her with him to tonight's training he had known she was curious and slightly impatient. He had first met her at a dinner social at the noble Sun Fei's family's home two months ago. Sun Fei's father has hoped that Travahar would court his daughter, but Travahar had politely declined, not feeling ready to make such commitments yet. Hwa Lan was a university friend of the stunning Sun Fei. Hw Lan was not really noble-born, but was intelligent and witty and challenging. They crossed paths often as Sun Fei brought her friend to many of the noble functions. He fought his interest in her, till tonight. Tonight he brought her on his arm to watch him train.

When she softly knocked on the door, he took a handstand on the barrel. His head was inches away from the chilly water, every muscle in his body tensed as he kept his balance. When the door slit open, he lowered himself head first into the water. The cold cut through his body like thousands of needles while a mouthful of bubbles escaped him. He turned back to his feet inside the barrel and emerged out of it to see Hwa Lan standing in the door, staring with big eyes at him. "Hwa Lan!" exclaimed Travahar, "I'm not wearing any clothes!" She had the decency to blush but the effect was canceled by the twinkle in her eyes. As she turned around Travahar asked her: "Can you give me that towel?" She grabbed a towel from the stack and moved towards him, keeping her eyes firmly towards the ground. "Thanks," Travahar made sure to hold her hands instead of the towel.

She looked up at him and gasped: "Is that ice water? Get out of there, you'll catch a cold!" While Travahar got out of the barrel and firmly wrapped the towel around his waist, she ran through the room, taking another towel. He sat down on the bench in the middle of the room and she took place behind him, firmly rubbing down his hair. "Keep doing that and you'll end up having a heart attack!" Hwa Lan studied medicine at Ba Sing Se university in the hopes of being a doctor like her father, or at least an assistant if women never got permitted the status by the time she graduates.

Enjoying the feeling of her drying his hair, he rolled with his muscles and grunted: "Hmmm ... feels good." The rhythm of her moving hands faltered, then started again as she placed the towel on his shoulders. Moving the towel lower she leaned forward to reach his back. Travahar felt a warm breath in his ear followed by a short kiss on the cheek. The softness of her dark mahogany hair teased the edge of his shoulder with the wisps that escaped their bindings. The rubbing with the towel had halted completely by now. He turned around to kiss her on the cheek too. They gazed inside each other's eyes and moving closer and closer. He found the dark sage of her eyes so real and grounding. "Wait," Travahar could feel her eyelashes stroking his head as she blinked. "Don't you think we're going to fast here?" he mused.

She blinked one last time than remembered it had only been two days ago they had met at another dinner party and he had asked for her company for the first time. "You're right. I ... I'll wait outside while you get dressed."

Travahar smiled his fiendish smile while she left the room. He knew a mature waterbender lady at a certain red lantern house who would be proud of his push-and-pull technique. When he first had heard how the "staff" in those places were treated once customers weren't interested anymore in them, he had decided to do some charity. It would also help him false image as a greedy and cocky noble to be seen frequenting the Red Lantern houses. Little did he know how useful his visits would be. The first times he had merely paid, entered with the lady, waited for three quarters of an hour, then left again. Somewhere during that time, he started talking with these ladies and they proved a useful source of information.

He secured his belt and joined Hwa Lan. Zuko was nowhere to be seen. Hwa Lan smiled shyly, insecure about the level of their relationship. He took her arm and walked her to her home. On the way, they talked about things that interested them both. At the university dowm where she stayed, he held her hands just a second longer than was necessary, then quickly pressed his cheek against hers. Without turning around he walked down the street knowing for sure that her eyes followed him with every step he took.

Back at his place a servant informed him that both his mom and dad were at the palace. His mother and father weren't his biological parents, but he considered them as such. Ever since he had left the palace, this noble couple had taken him in and treated him as their own blood. Once he would have his throne back he would make sure not to forget them, but for now he was merely the son of a nobleman living in the Upper Ring and expected at yet another social. In contrast to what paupers always thought the life of a nobleman wasn't that easy. Continuously families were fighting for the king's grace.

Travahar sometimes wondered why those plots always had to be discussed during dinner. Not only where they quite dull but the noble men were far from subtle when talking in code. He knew none of them really cared for him, they only invited him because his mom and dad might prove useful allies in this or that plot to gain advantage on some other family. Well, what had to be done, had to be done, hopefully one of the noble men had an interesting daughter.

He walked through the house, thinking which clothes would suit him best when he noticed the Pai Sho table. It was a kind of inside joke of the family. All three of them loved to play Pai Sho and played it often. In order to add an extra element to the game they had started playing while the other one wasn't around. That way you didn't know who your adversary was. Travahar stared at the table and smiled. He knew almost for certain that the Dragon Claw assault was a trick of his mom to lure him out of his defensive position and attack him from another side of the board. Then again it could be his dad who tried to make him defend in the wrong place with the intention to juggernaut over him. For a moment he pondered on his options. Block the obvious attack or defend his weaker left flank? His hand hovered over a tile, then moved towards another piece and before he knew what he was doing he removed his White Lotus tile from its defensive position and took out the dragon. Slightly baffled by his own action he took the piece and stared at it. A flick of his fingers sent it in the air, when it came back he caught it in his pocket. Bordeaux, he was tired of always wearing green and beige. Tonight he'd go in bordeaux, that rich deep almost chocolate brown like the color of Hwa Lan's hair, perhaps with a water tribe necklace and a deep blue jacket.


	31. Chapter 31: Winter Depression

_Author's Notes:_

_Please note that lines have been used from various songs for Zuko's thoughts in this chapter part. The songs are:_

"_Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence_

"_Breathe" by Moist_

"_What's Left of Me" by Nick Lachey_

"_Fallen" by Delerium_

**_Chapter 31: Winter Depression_**

The next few days passed as the first, though without Ty-min. Zuko meditated and worked out. He walked and stretched. He helped pack and plan for the new shop, even though it did not really interest him. He could at least run errands while his uncle trained the new staff at the old Tea Shop. He looked for Faelin but if he saw her, he was hard pressed to keep up with her and her errands. They hardly spoke. He still didn't know what to say. So he kept silent. Somehow, that seemed to be the wrong thing. His time at the dojo was spent warming up, observing the others, and meditating.

One morning he had parchment pages and the inks and brushes out. He was jotting down random notes and looking very frustrated, then crumpling the paper, firebending it to ash. His uncle raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing nephew?"

Zuko snapped, "What am I supposed to do?! Sifu Mu-Tan asked me to write a report since I have to sit out the training and observe for a few days. What is supposed to go onto such a report?! He asked me to do it as though I really should know what to do. And I don't!"

His uncle smirked and set down a cup of tea for Zuko. "Of course you do."

"No I don't!" argued Zuko.

As Iroh packed a lunch for himself, he simply pointed out, "Prince Zuko. You have sent captains out to scout out missions and people, villages and camps. And you have insisted that they make a report for you to read. You know what you want to see in those reports. This is no different."

Zuko looked a bit stunned, followed by ashamed. "Thank you, Uncle. That helps a lot." He wasn't being sarcastic, but completely serious. This was to be an in depth study of the potential opponents. He could write it up as such. Who they were, what the looked like, tidbits of their personal history, the styles and forms they favored or avoided, their strengths and weaknesses. He felt silly for not realizing this could be no different than the military reports he used to expect. He was amused to write about Travahar. How much did he dare put in? Certainly the pretty girls he often had hanging off his arms. His attention to protecting his pretty face. The apparent interest he had in the new girl Travahar convinced to join the class. Mu-Tan was not so impressed by that, but the girl was remarkably well versed in the arts. She was definitely behind the rest of the class, but good at what she did know. She had long dark mahogany hair she kept in a braid and eyes that were more grey than green, like the sage bushes of the desert and very sharp. She had patience. She may not know all the moved that everyone else knew, but she knew how to wait for the right moment to pin you despite your advanced training. She used the basics against people. It was not unlike how he used the basics against Zhao in that duel. These reports were certainly going to be easy now that he realized what to do.

His evenings were a big struggle internally every time. Should he go watch over Faelin or not? What if she was awake? What should he say if she was? This first night she was asleep. He frowned at the bruises on her legs as he leaned over to tuck the blanket around them. It was always so cold in there. The drizzle outside didn't help. It pained him to watch her shiver. He just couldn't risk holding her. He was weak and not as quick. The second night he couldn't stand it. He gathered her close despite her initial panic at being touched, and kept her warm with his own body heat. "Faelin?" he finally whispered. "I'm sorry…. Thank you for whatever it was you did to help me get well." The answer he got was her snuggling closer to him. He hoped that it was an acceptance of his apology.

On the third day, Zuko was called upstairs after class. There in the room that was assigned as his, was a small writing desk. Mu-Tan came to it and showed Zuko the notes. "These are reports that we have of various places and the forces on all sides of the conflicts. You, prince, will have to choose a side at some point."

Zuko nodded solemnly. "I know. I am NOT on Ozai's side. But I do not want to betray the Fire Nation and all the people loyal there. One or one hundred fouled fish do not wholly define a people. And… my people are not better treated than any other nations. I am on your side until such time as my f… as Ozai and Azula are taken down for their treachery to their own people."

Mu-Tan accepted this response. "Then I will let you have look at the reports and would like your commentary on them. And as to your own reports?" Zuko handed it over. "Thank you."

Zuko glanced at the papers on the small writing desk. "This will take me a while. If I understand, these must not leave this floor?" Mu-Tan nodded. "Then I will send word to my uncle that I will be here for a few days. I will also get some things. He is just packing and training new staff now for the old Tea Shop."

Mu-Tan stopped at the door, "Old? Are you going to a new one?"

Zuko: "Yes. Some noble offered us a new apartment and my uncle his very own Tea Shop in the Upper Ring. I am not sure I want to go, though. There are … responsibilities… that I have here. Commitments."

Mu-Tan knew exactly who Zuko was talking about. These commitments and responsibilities were not to Zuko's training, not to this dojo. Those could be handled from wherever Zuko lived. These commitments were to Faelin. "Zuko? About the Winter Solstice…"

Zuko snapped sharply, "NO! I will not push her. It is a terrible risk."

Mu-Tan: "We will protect her."

Zuko tightened his jaw. "I will think about asking her."

Mu-Tan: "Zuko…"

Zuko: "I said I will think about it!"

Mu-Tan knew he pushed to the limit of this and should not push farther. Zuko was only worried about Faelin's safety.

Zuko headed home and informed his uncle what he was going to be doing, vaguely, and where he could be found over the next few days. Then he packed up some spare clothes. His uncle handed him the tin of special tea that Zuko liked. Zuko held it looking uncertainly at his uncle. His uncle only placed both hands on Zuko's shoulders and gave him that incredibly proud smile, the smile a son gets from their father when they are doing something that brings great honor to the family, the smile a father gives his son when his son is proving to be a man. Zuko relaxed and smiled back. He was proud to be loved by his uncle. "I'll be home in a few days, Uncle. It's not forever."

Zuko settled in at the room Mu-Tan gave him. He spent several hours looking through pile after pile of reports. There were so many. The candle was low. He sat straight and stretched. He needed to change his location and head space. He walked about the red lantern district just lost in his own thoughts.

That lost feeling was overtaking Zuko again. It must be the constant dark and cold. He hated the Winter Solstice. It always pulled him into dark places in himself and he didn't want to be in those places again. He went back to the dojo and practiced some forms on the mats, his mind still spiraling in thought.

_Faelin, save me… save me from this. This darkness, this cold. Call my name and save me from this darkness. Save me from the nothing I've become._

He moved from one form to another. He was panting and had to stop to catch his breath, sweat soaking his shirt. He pulled it off and focused his breath. He balanced his body, if not his thoughts. He looked down at the shadow he had cast on the mats.

_I'm just a shadow now. What I would give to feel the sunlight on my face. What I would give to be lost in your embrace. I'm caught between two different worlds. If only I could see what you see. See what you see in me._

Looking up at his reflection, his thoughts froze.

_Little by little, I've been dying inside, going in endless circles. I'm just running in circles all the time. Running from myself. Watching my life pass me by. Here in the mirror, I am a picture frozen in time. I've fallen. Now I'm broken, and I'm faded. I'm half the man I thought I would be._

He clenched his fists and looked away from the mirror, but he was just confronted in another mirror with his own image yet again. He pushed himself through the forms till he was exhausted.

_I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ANOTHER DAY STUCK IN THE SHADOWS OF MY MISTAKES!!!_

_Give me something to believe in, Faelin. Take what's left of me and make it whole again. I am half the man I used to be, Faelin. Is it enough? Will you take…. Will you take what's left of me?_

He was on his knees on the mats face buried in his fists, every muscle tense.

_Call my name. Wake me up inside. Save me from this darkness inside me. Save me from the nothing I've become… Please…_

With great determination he stood again. And again, he pushed himself through the forms.

_Uncle? Are we ronin? I will have to ask you later. _

Ronin was a loss of all one's loyalties to their leader or nation. Sometimes it meant a betrayer. Sometimes it meant a traitor. Usually it was one who is disgraced. He knew they were not a disgrace, but in Ozai's eyes and in the eyes of several people in the Fire Nation, they were. The reports were clear on that. Their deaths were sanctioned. And now he would be reviewing the reports and helping people fight against his own people. No… fight against Ozai and Azula. He had to get it straight. He was fighting them to save his people, save them from Ozai and Azula. But… who will save Zuko? Save him from himself?

_Faelin… Please forgive me._

He got cleaned up and changed. Before leaving, Zuko noticed the small scroll Mu-Tan gave him. Zuko had hung it in his new room as a reminder.

_** The greatest glory is not in never failing, **_

_** but in rising up every time we fall. **_

_** Confucius **_

He touched the scroll. "I will remember." It helped calm the growing darkness and the sense of failure inside Zuko. It gave him strength and hope. Then he headed over to see Faelin.

Zuko crept into Faelin's room. He stood in his usual dark corner till he was sure it was safe. It was hard to tell with the bustling going on above. Faelin sat up and looked to the ceiling. Zuko stepped out of the shadow and knelt in front of her. He opened his mouth… but words failed him. She was awake. He wanted to say something. _I'm sorry. Thank you. I… I love you._ But nothing came. There were heavy footsteps in the hall outside Faelin's room. They both froze for a moment. Zuko silently checked for his knife.

Faelin then stood in her sleeveless night dress. She pointed to the storage room. They barely made it through the doorless opening when the sumo guard opened Faelin's door. "Faelin! Faelin! Get up! Damn you girl." He stepped into the room a second and then back out, closing the door as he walked the hall to the storage room.

There was no time to make it to the door outside before the sumo guard opened the storage room door. Faelin took a deep breath and her tattoos glowed a moment then she faded entirely from view. Zuko's eyes widened. He almost yelped as he felt her up against his chest and saw that he too was fading into a ghostly figure. His breath caught. The sumo guard opened the storage room door. "Faelin! Dai Li are here. Get out! Don't come back for three days. Do you hear me!!!"

She pushed Zuko with herself through the wall. It was the same wall she had pulled him through into the storage room when he first saw her. The sensation was not much different. In fact, it was very unpleasant. But at least they were not caught. Now, they were in the frigid alley. He could feel her breathing heavy against him. To his relief he no longer looked like a ghost. Nor did she. Her tattoos had faded as well. She leaned heavily against him and shivered. She had no stocking on. She only had the sleeveless night shift. She was practically naked as far as Zuko was concerned. She would freeze! As he tightened his arms around her to keep her warm, her legs gave out as she lost consciousness. "Faelin?" called Zuko. "Faelin!"


	32. Chapter 32: Clouds & Rain

_Author's Note:_

_This is a "lemon" the PG-13 (ish) version of this is here. The not so adult version if way way lower. Clouds and rain are a traditional Chinese metaphor for sexual acts._

**_Chapter 32: Clouds & Rain_**

He checked, she was still breathing. The relief of that almost caused his own legs to give way. He gathered her in his arms and quickly carried her back to the dojo. Home would have been too far. She would be too cold. At the dojo, at least, he had a room. It was much closer. And since she could not be at the red lantern house for the next three days, his dojo bedroom would have to do.

He wondered over and over in his mind on the way to the dojo. What did she do? How did she do it? Was that ch'i bending? She seemed to have turned them both into ghosts and through the wall they stepped. Did she really do that? Was that even possible? It must, because it happened. He was so confused. It was like she was in the avatar state glowing so brightly with so much power. And like that avatar, Aang, once it was over, she collapsed. Did it really take that much out of someone? It must, even for the avatar. He concluded that it was a dangerous thing to do, this avatar state. Sure, it gave you a HUGE boost of energy to do incredible things, but when that wave of energy waned, you were completely vulnerable. He filed that tidbit of insight away in his mind for another day.

He reached the dojo and was struggling with the door when Mu-Tan opened it from the inside. There was surprise on the faces of both men. It was for just a moment. Mu-Tan quickly ushered them in asking what happened. Zuko explained as best he could. Mu-Tan seemed to understand. Upstairs in Zuko's room, Mu-Tan brought in some extra blankets and Zuko bundled Faelin in them. "Will she be ok?" Zuko asked worriedly.

Mu-Tan nodded. "She should be. She'll need rest." The rain started outside and drizzled for a bit before stopping again. "I'll make sure you weren't followed." Zuko understood. It meant that Mu-Tan would kill anyone following.

The wind was picking up outside and slightly howling around the alleys and chilling the stones of the buildings. With Faelin very safe in Zuko's room, he felt he could perhaps continue perusing the reports on the writing desk. He lit a few candles in an iron candle stand in the far corner. It should be enough light. He scowled at the dimness still in the room. He lit another candle in a holder and set it on the corner of the desk.

He glanced over at Faelin. She seemed to be asleep. He was relieved that Mu-Tan had explained that this was exactly as Zuko thought, much like the avatar state. She managed to bend their flesh into pure ch'i or spirit energy and thus pass them both through a solid stone wall. Zuko still shivered at the uncomfortable experience. At least he did not have to worry about her dying.

He stripped off his clothes pausing now and then to be sure she was not awake watching. The chill air was bracing! He pulled on some loose sleeping pants and tied the string so they would not fall to his knees. Wouldn't THAT be embarrassing if she woke at a moment they did that? Blushing slightly, he sat at the desk and distracted himself with the reports.

Faelin rolled over and back making small noises. Another night terror. Most of his own night terrors had gone. He now only occasionally dreamed of when his father… when Ozai had burned him. Ozai was no father. A father would never to that to their own son. He got up from the writing desk and knelt by the bed mat in the corner smoothing Faelin's hair and pulling the blanket back over her shoulder. She was cold. He didn't notice the cold so much since he could easily raise his body temperature a bit by will and thus keep warm. It was part of the Breath of Fire technique.

Mu-Tan was in the doorway silently watching Zuko at Faelin's side. "Zuko," he whispered. Zuko turned to look over his shoulder at Mu-Tan. "I'll be out on the roof guarding. There is a storm brewing. It will get quite cold in here. If you need more blankets…"

"We'll be fine. Thank you. Oh, Mu-Tan? I want to talk about this Silver Circle you are part of… later." Zuko was sure he could keep Faelin warm. He had done so before in her own room. Mu-Tan nodded and bowed. Zuko dipped his head in a small bow. The wind died down and the temperature dropped.

Faelin shivered despite the three blankets. She opened her eyes and sat bolt up! Her head nearly collided with Zuko's. He pulled back to avoid injury. "Easy Faelin." She looked around confused. "You are in my temporary room above the dojo. Mu-Tan is outside ensuring that all is safe. You are safe. I'm… I'm sorry for before. For, upsetting you and doing… and going off on that crazy mission. I didn't know what else to do." He was on a roll now. He dared not pause. "I thought I had no other choice but to capture the avatar. Capturing him and returning home with honor and becoming heir once again was what I thought I was. It is the destiny I thought I was to have. The man I was supposed to be. It … it took your words… and my uncle's words… to make me see. To see that I had it all wrong. Something inside me snapped. I was lost. It was like a great abyss of darkness swallowed me up and consumed me in fire. I don't even know how or exactly why. Sometimes I remember my uncle there. And I remember you were there. You were… I… I don't know what you did, but everything started to make sense around me again. When I woke, you were gone. I wasn't sure if you were still angry or even if you hated me. I am so so sorry, Faelin. I am, I may never be that Heir… that Fire Lord of the Fire Nation. I am just… just a broken man trying to figure my way now. I am… nothing… I am … half the man I thought I would be. Is that enough for you? You can have what's left… what's left of me."

Before he could speak more, she cupped his face in her hands. "Zuko. I love you. And I will have whatever you can give me… and make it whole." Her kiss that followed reassured him of her words.

He wrapped his arms around her in a hug and mumbled into her hair, "Thank you. I love you too." Then he settled himself in the corner on the bed mat with her in his arms and the blanket about them to keep warm.

Mu-Tan climbed up to the roof through the secret door at the end of the hall. There he did a little earthbending to create an alcove to shelter him from the wind and the rain. He knelt into a warrior's meditation pose and shifted into a focused trance where he could be aware of several things at once. The first focus was on the stones in and around the building. He listened to their vibrations to keep aware of potential danger. He pulled his focus away from Zuko and Faelin's room, though. They needed privacy and it was no business of his what they did in there.

All was quiet around. He allowed part of his thoughts to mull over what to do if Zuko wanted to be trained as Silver Circle. Zuko has not learned this split meditation technique. There were other techniques unique to each bender that was Silver Circle. As an earthbender, Mu-Tan did not know them. He wondered how he would train Zuko. There were no firebending Silver Circle left. He could dig through the hidden collection of scrolls and manuscripts from the various temples that he had smuggled here. He hoped Kozue found more. Her first task was to get to the Fire Nation Temple to avatar Roku. Word was that it was destroyed by an emanation of avatar Roku. He hoped Kozue found stuff in the remains. Maybe he could sit and have some long talks with the Dragon of the West and with the glassblower. Failing finding information, perhaps he and Zuko can create new skills and techniques. Already, he had observed that Zuko managed some things with his firebending that were incredibly subtle and not seen before in firebenders that he knew.

Lastly, Mu-Tan allowed part of his mind to simply relax and wander. It enjoyed the weather, the beauty in the swirling clouds. Sometimes the moon peaked out. Sometimes a star could be seen. A huge storm was definitely building in the gentlest and most curious of ways. There would certainly be thunder, lightening and a serious downpour. He was sure of it. However, it was going to take its sweet time building.

The air outside become still, as if afraid to move.

Zuko was himself a little nervous. He had held Faelin like this before, but when he did, he had been clothed well and ready to fight an intruder spoiling to hurt her. Now, he had nothing on but loose pants. She only had a thin sleeveless sleeping dress. His heart picked up pace a little and he tried to slow it. Her cheek rested against his bare shoulder. Her skin was silky against his own. He swallowed. Closing his eyes he tried to focus. He did not want his body to rudely betray him. It was threatening to do so. He knew the feeling, thanks to Kozue. He was afraid to move. He didn't want to frighten Faelin or make her think he would take advantage of her.

Soon, the air about Mu-Tan grew heavy and full of cool humidity.

Zuko could not help his body temperature from causing him to sweat under the blankets. _Or was that nerves? Or was that… Damn._ He tried to shift so Faelin would not notice. She shifted to allow him to move. She was sitting curled almost in his lap. She debated her comfort and trust levels. It was growing quite warm under the blankets. She could feel Zuko beginning to sweat. She sat up a little and pushed the blankets off. He was so like a furnace that they didn't really need the blankets. And now that he knew of her metal bound wrists, it did not matter that he saw them. She sighed and rested her head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

A warm breeze defied the cool air and brushed Mu-Tan's arm as it passed him.

Zuko could now see most of Faelin clearly as he looked down. He tattoos coiled around her upper arms, over her shoulders and the back of her neck to disappear down the front and back of her night dress. That night dress was almost shamefully short the way her legs were folded. He could see the edge of her tattoos on one of her thighs. He pulled his attention away. He wanted to do more than look. No. It was wrong. Perhaps he should get up and read reports or lie on a different bed mat. Faelin heard his heart beating quicker and he lifted his head away to not look at her. How could she tell him she trusted him? There was part of a small ritual she remembered. She moistened her lips and sat away from him a bit with one hand over his heart. She waited for him to look her in the eyes.

The bright full moon shone through an opening in the sky to captivate and hold the gaze of anyone looking. Mu-Tan glanced up to admire it.

Zuko turned his head to Faelin to see why she moved. Did he touch her in a way that made her nervous? He was certainly nervous by this closeness. He was sure she heard the quickening of his heartbeat. When his eyes met hers, he could not look away. She held his gaze locked there. She shifted her eyes down following the lean muscular lines of Zuko's arm. He watched her feeling the need to swallow again. It was almost as if she were touching his arm. One of her hands rests softly on his chest where his heart pounded a little. She took up his hand and glanced back at his eyes. Then she brought his palm to her lips and kissed it. In a hushed whisper she said, "I trust these hands, that they will always protect me, always hold me, always be gentle." The kiss sent a warm fire coursing up his arm. She turned and repeated the kiss with his other hand. The sensation of her kisses on his palms lingered, stirring his blood.

Clouds gathered to kiss the moon before drifting to meet other clouds. Tension was slowly rolling and rippling through the sky.

Faelin's eyes called to his again. He was again lost in the small oceans that were her eyes. She glanced down tentatively to her hand on his heart. Then leaned down and kissed the hot skin where her hand was. "I trust this heart to be true and loyal, to be full of honor and love, even if I must fill it so with these qualities." Zuko closed his eyes and his fists, not touching her. He took in the sensations and her words. They filled a huge void that was there, leaving a sense of comfort and strength and trust. She trusted him with more that her life, he was realizing. She trusted him with her body and soul. Doubt skipped across his mind. Could she trust him? He remembered the intensity of Kozue bringing him to the edge. Can he trust himself? He didn't want to rush anything. He didn't even know what to do. Well, intellectually he did, but did he want to take it that far? Was that what she wanted? What if she did? What if she didn't? As if she could sense his nervous tension, she smoothed it away with her fingers through his hair. He opened his eyes to see her closing the gap between their lips. He closed his eyes, pressing his palms flat against the bed mat to restrain his urge to touch and hold her. The kiss was long, long enough to taste it. As she drew away, she whispered, "I trust this man to move slow and speak softly. I trust this man with my body and my soul." He licked his lips, tasting the sensation she left behind there.

The clouds began to gather together and swirl around each other, trusting the touch of the others. Rolling and darkening. _Yes,_ Mu-tan thought, _this will be a very slow building storm. And for a change, it will be quite a warm one._

She felt him clench and unclench his hands, uncertainly. As he watched her face, she smiled sweetly and gave him a small nod. Then she snuggled in close with her head again on his shoulder. He was given permission to touch her. He needed a couple of deep breaths. Then he wrapped his arms around her. His left was around her small waist. He could feel her every curve there. His right hand shakily caressed up her back to the back of her neck. He felt her tense nervously and stroked the back of her head till she relaxed again. He could feel her heart pounding softly in her chest against his. There they rested, growing accustomed to the feeling of just being this close together.

Mu-Tan could see the full moon brighten the thinner parts of the clouds. It created lovely billowy curves and dark shadows. They moved slowly, if at all.

The warm humidity rose giving everything a sense of slight dampness. The clouds shuddered a little, as if afraid to let the moon show itself or afraid to block it out entirely.

A sudden small rumble of thunder awoke in the thickening dark clouds in one area causing the other clouds the shift with the winds.

The winds blew like odd currents pushing the weather about in the sky. Mu-Tan watched as the moon was exposed suddenly in an open gap.

The rumbling increased in the sky as the clouds now gathered thickly. They rolled against each other with little lightening flashes, creating a tingling in the air. They quivered with growing tension, threatening to release the rain. Not yet, not yet. They were not ready. A chilly breeze blew by to break up some of the humidity.

That chilly breeze was followed by a hot humidity. The clouds ceased their rolling and the air stilled.

The pause in the storm brewing was just that, a small pause. Wind high in the sky blew aside some thin clouds as stars peaked through.

The clouds filled in the small gap, thick and rolling. The humidity rose and everything glistened with its dew.

A slight drizzle fell from the sky to moisten the buildings that reached up to touch the mysterious heavens.

The clouds rolled and rocked with the gentle waves of light rain till they held back again with tension. Mu-Tan could feel this storm brewing stronger, gathering for greater intensity.

The clouds parted to permit the buildings to reach in for a look at the moon.

Then clouds swallowed up the sky again as a low rumble of thunder rolled through them.

Mu-Tan smiled as the storm built in rhythmic waves and the thunder grew louder with each roll. This was definitely one of the most beautiful storms he had ever witnessed. He hoped Zuko and Faelin were enjoying it from where they were.

The little lightening flashes came quicker across the rolling storm clouds. They closed in tight till Mu-Tan could feel the air pressing against him. He knew a huge thunderbolt was coming. It was the rising tension before the release.

A huge lightening bolt streaked across the sky followed almost immediately by a second one and a deafening thunder crack shook the earth.

With that crack of thunder, rain exploded from the sky.

Release washed through them, through her first in building waves till they climaxed, then through him shortly after. Zuko's mind was consumed by the flames of the experience till it poured out of him completely and the cool air reminded him of where he was. They sagged exhausted in each other's arms panting heavily afterwards.

After a few moments of that intense downpour, the rain fell gently and quietly through the night. Mu-Tan watched it for maybe another hour. No one was on the streets below. The temperatures started to drop again into the chill that was now expected as this year's norm for the season.

Zuko and Faelin curled close under the blankets to ward off the chill as they slept. His mind wanted to worry about the consequences of this night's happenings. He simply told his mind to shut up and worry about it later. There was no undoing what was done. And, he didn't want to spoil right now.

Mu-Tan deemed it quite safe by now to return indoors to his own bed for sleep.

_**Adult Version of Clouds & Rain**_

She felt him clench and unclench his hands, uncertainly. As he watched her face, she smiled sweetly and gave him a small nod. Then she snuggled in close with her head again on his shoulder. He was given permission to touch her. He needed a couple of deep breaths. Then he wrapped his arms around her. First his left was around her small waist. He could feel her every curve there. His right hand shakily caressed up her back to the back of her neck. He felt her tense nervously and stroked the back of her head till she relaxed again. He could feel her heart pounding softly in her chest against his. There they rested, growing accustomed to the feeling of just being this close together.

Mu-Tan could see the full moon brighten the thinner parts of the clouds. It created lovely billowy curves and dark shadows. They moved slowly, if at all.

So Kozue's lesson of thresholds was useful here too, Zuko thought. He could see the cliff edge in his mind as not so far away. He worried about every motion and every touch. He did not want to be consumed by that fire and have it roll through Faelin. He did not dare lose such trust. She was so close. He could feel her against him, warm and slightly damp with sweat. Kozue's words came to mind. _Trust yourself. Relax… Your body knows what to do… Let go…_ He didn't want to let go, in case he frightened Faelin. Certain moves, certain touches, even innocent ones, sometimes frightened her. He didn't want to frighten himself either. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Just feel her against him. Her hands… her cheek… against his skin. Her body and its mysterious curves against his. Her hip tucked up against him. His breath stumbled as he was suddenly aware of his own body against her hip. Hard and tense as the rest of most of his muscles. He struggled to relax. She felt him shiver with his own nervous tension.

The warm humidity rose giving everything a sense of slight dampness. The clouds shuddered a little, as if afraid to let the moon show itself or afraid to block it out entirely.

She turned into him and kissed him. Their hands tentatively and innocently caressed skin that was already exposed, exploring each other awkwardly with small shy kisses and touches. Occasionally she would flinch at a touch and he would stop and wait for her to be comfortable and relaxed again. Sometimes a brush of her hand sent liquid fire coursing through his vein to make him hyper-aware and nervous. Then shifting she moved over him to deepen their kiss only to find herself straddling him. She did not move for a moment. His hands rested on her hips. His eyes moved from her exposed tattoos to her eyes, watching and wondering where the line was to be drawn. Where was the threshold? Was there one. He glanced down to see her legs exposed by her position. He sucked in a breath too quick and pulled his eyes back to her face. She shivered. Was she cold? Was she nervous? He leaned forward and pulled a blanket closer over their legs. The motion set her off balance. She gasped and gripped his shoulders. Instinctively he wrapped his other arm around her to ensure she did not topple, giving her a sense of security he hoped. He had to close his eyes and mentally count to ten as she was pressed up against his whole body. There was no denying anything. He just froze there. Breathing a bit faster, feeling her against his now fiery skin. He nearly panted in her neck with her arms around his shoulders. They were both quivering with nervousness.

A sudden small rumble of thunder awoke in the thickening dark clouds in one area causing the other clouds the shift with the winds.

Now steadied and sure she wouldn't fall, Faelin lifted herself on her knees so Zuko could pull himself back against the wall and have a little distance again. Her cheeks were flushed at the knowledge of his body's stiffness against her. She thought through the consequences and possibilities of what could happen this evening. He gazed up at her. _Yes_, she felt she trusted him that far. This was… different. He was so patient, so careful. _Please let him not move suddenly, but slowly._ He slid his hands down her thighs to the bed mat and pushed himself back. He gasped a moment with awkwardness as his sweaty loose pants did not wholly come with him. He flushed a deep scarlet with embarrassment at his indecent exposure. His eyes locked on hers not knowing what to do now.

The winds blew like odd currents pushing the weather about in the sky. Mu-Tan watched as the moon was exposed suddenly in an open gap.

Faelin bit her lower lip. She realized he was as nervous as she was. She inched closer, though not quite against him. He wondered frantically how to cover himself when her warm hands rested on his shoulders and she leaned in to kiss him. Between the first and the second kiss, she whispered, "Relax. It's ok. I trust you. Do you trust me?"

He simply nodded, swallowed, licked his lips and let them meet hers. He slid his hands up her thighs toward her hips. He stopped at the wrinkled hem of her dress. Lifting his left hand, he caressed her shoulder then rested it between her shoulder blades. He brushed his lips barely touching her neck. He heard her quick intake of breath and froze. "May I?" She was almost stunned that he asked. No one ever asks. She nodded and tilted her head slightly to expose her neck for him. That cliff's edge was drawing nearer as he kissed gently along her neck. He paused now and then the keep his hunger from overwhelming them both. He was still concerned about being so exposed. He tried to keep his focus above her waist, trying to ignore his own heat waves that stirred his flesh. He thought he would be cold, so exposed, but he was on fire instead. He pressed his hand against her back so she would lean closer. He kissed along her shoulder tasting the sweet saltiness of her sweat. He shifted his hand to push the shoulder band of her dress off her shoulder so he could continue the trail he was following. She tensed nervously at his boldness.

The rumbling increased in the sky as the clouds now gathered thickly. They rolled against each other with little lightening flashes, creating a tingling in the air. They quivered with growing tension, threatening to release the rain. Not yet, not yet. They were not ready. Mu-Tan felt a chilly breeze blow by to break up some of the humidity.

Zuko stopped and just breathed heavily on her shoulder as he reigned himself back under control. She relaxed and slid her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek, then his jaw. He leaned his head back as a whispered moan escaped him. Such sensations were almost blinding, but he held himself on that threshold. He was not ready to give in. He was not sure he should. His breathing was quick and heavy as he maintained control. It was almost lost as a hot moist tip of her tongue touched the pulse at his neck. His right hand, that was trying hard not to grip her thigh, slid unbidden to her hip, under her dress, and over to her lower back. She gasped and tensed. So did he. She had nothing under this dress! Part of him was suddenly relieved and less self-conscious at his exposure. Part of him chastised himself for being so bold as to explore without permission. He froze where he was. He dared not move.

That chilly breeze was followed by hot humidity. The clouds ceased their rolling and the air stilled.

Zuko and Faelin looked at each other, full of uncertainty. She noticed him being so still, waiting for her permission or refusal, waiting to know what to do next. Little by little, she relaxed into the reality of their situation. This was a choice. And she made it. She lightly kissed his lips. "I'm ok. It's ok. You have my permission." With those words, she felt a huge wave of his nervous tension release in his long relieved exhalation of breath. He had not realized he was holding his breath till that moment. He moved his left hand to her thigh and explored the results of sliding it up under her dress to meet his right hand. She quivered and her breath came quick and hot in his ear.

The pause in the storm brewing was just that, a small pause. Wind high in the sky blew aside some thin clouds as stars peaked through.

He caught the hem of her dress in his thumbs and began to lift it, his fingers never leaving her skin. She let him until he had lifted it completely off her. He was amazed at what he saw. The tattoos danced slightly with palest of golden glows. He had never seen such a sight before. The exquisite sight of her back the day he peeped on her bathing by accident did not compare to the beauty before him now. She shivered with the cool air against her bare flesh, feeling suddenly shy under his awestruck gaze. He rested his left hand on her shoulder and reached with his right to touch the designs around her navel. He paused and looked into her eyes before touching her. She gave him a tiny timid nod and closed her eyes. He clenched his fingers into a fist for a second to banish their shaking. Then he traced the designs there, mesmerized. She stomach muscles tensed with his touch. He cradled her back with his left arm as he closed his eye and slowly explored her every curve. She panted a little under his touch but made no motion to stop him. Her breath caught as his thumb brushed the sensitive peak of her small round breast. She released the breath in a soft moan. The fire beckoned him beyond the threshold. He held his ground there. Not yet. Not yet. She has not given THAT permission, just permission for this. He wanted permission each step of the way. At each step he asked for it, just in case he came to a point where she would refuse. He never wanted to betray her trust by doing something without her wanting it.

The clouds filled in the small gap, thick and rolling. The humidity rose and everything glistened with its dew.

She felt his breath where his thumb had been. Never had she had these sensations that rolled down her spine like rolling thunder to coil deep in her belly and beg for more. He tasted her soft peaks and she sighed and melted in his arms. Her reactions stirred him to pull her closer. With his right hand still on the back of her hips and his left there now, too. He pulled her gently to him as he kissed her lips.

A slight drizzle fell from the sky to moisten the buildings that reached up to touch the mysterious heavens.

He was surprised by the sudden feeling of her hips pressed firm against his. "Shinzui," he whispered at the sudden heat and moistness that enveloped him. This was a very different threshold. His body quivered and ached to push through the threshold. They held each other tight as they absorbed this new sensation. Fire building close to his inner threshold as his body burned with desire. His muscles quivered with the tension of that desire. He slid his hands up her back and rocked with instinct, reveling in building heat, reveling at this dance at the threshold. He wondered how long he could dance there.

The clouds rolled and rocked with the gentle waves of light rain till they held back again with tension. Mu-Tan could feel this storm brewing stronger, gathering for greater intensity.

Faelin's little moans encouraged him to continue. She rocked with him. He panted and stilled their rocking as he slipped slightly passed the threshold. It took all his will power not to thrust past into that moist mysterious cavern. He throbbed with the need. He swallowed several times. "Please," he begged.

The clouds parted to permit the buildings to reach in for a look at the moon.

He was going to beg that they stop. He did not expect her to whisper permission to continue. He let go his hold on the threshold and slid deep into the hot mysteries beyond with a deep throaty moan.

Then clouds swallowed up the sky again as a low rumble of thunder rolled through them.

Faelin rose and came down upon him where they embraced tightly. Zuko moved slowly within her savoring the feeling. They rocked with the thunder outside, finding their own rhythm.

Mu-Tan smiled as the storm built in rhythmic waves and the thunder grew louder with each roll. This was definitely one of the most beautiful storms he had ever witnessed. He hoped Zuko and Faelin were enjoying it from where they were.

Sweat beaded and glistened and rolled off their bodies. Faelin gave herself over to Zuko. Zuko gave in to Faelin. They rocked as one as the waves built and their bodies tensed in little tremors with the rolling thunder outside. Her slight gasps and noises only encouraged his pace.

The little lightening flashes came quicker across the rolling storm clouds. They closed in tight till Mu-Tan could feel the air pressing against him. He knew a huge thunderbolt was coming. It was the rising tension before the release.

Zuko felt that tension too but in a very unique way as his own body responded and pushed forth for release. He held her tight as her body tensed, every inch of her inside and out. He felt that tension tighten around him and he thrust deep.

A huge lightening bolt streaked across the sky followed almost immediately by a second one and a deafening thunder crack shook the earth.

Their cries of pleasure were drowned out by the huge thunder crack outside. The very floor shook with it, though they did not notice.

With that crack of thunder, rain exploded from the sky.

Release washed through them, through her first in building waves till they climaxed, then through him shortly after. Zuko's mind was consumed by the flames of the experience till it poured out of him completely and the cool air reminded him of where he was. They sagged exhausted in each other's arms panting heavily afterwards.

After a few moments of that intense downpour, the rain fell gently and quietly through the night. Mu-Tan watched it for maybe another hour. No one was on the streets below. The temperatures started to drop again into the chill that was now expected as this year's norm for the season.

Zuko and Faelin disengaged and curled close under the blankets to ward off the chill as they slept. His mind wanted to worry about the consequences of this night's happenings. He simply told his mind to shut up and worry about it later. There was no undoing what was done. And, he didn't want to spoil things right now.

Mu-Tan deemed it quite safe by now to return indoors to his own bed for sleep.


	33. Chapter 33: Day After

**_Chapter 33: Day After_**

Zuko woke feeling better than he had ever felt. What a night! Faelin was still curled in his embrace under the blankets. He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through her hair with fascination. He had never really noticed how the highlights shone like the many hues of a flame. She was so beautiful. She stirred a little. He didn't want to disturb her slumber.

He listened to the sounds of the building and outside. The rain had stopped. He vaguely remembered there being a storm last night. However, he was too busy to really care about it then. He stroked her shoulder and back as he carefully sat up. She would need something to wear if she was to stay here for a few days. They hadn't left her room with time to gather anything. She shivered at his absence. He tucked the blanket around her. He shivered at the bracing chill in the room. Suddenly he felt very shy about his own nudity and quickly pulled on some warm pants and a tunic.

All was quiet in the building. He looked out the window to see fog filling the streets. It was slowly evaporating telling him it was at least midmorning. He hadn't intended to sleep in so late. He also didn't care right now as an extremely contented smile seemed permanently etched on his face. He made his way downstairs into the office. No one was around. Mu-Tan must be out. The dojo was empty too. He moseyed over to the changing rooms and borrowed a uniform he thought would fit Faelin and brought it upstairs for her. Should he wake her? Should he just let her sleep? She was sleeping so peacefully. He decided to let her sleep.

He set the clothes on the floor close to her and went into the dojo to work out. He felt so energetic, so alive! And everything seemed so vibrant. Mu-Tan came in and greeted Zuko. "Good morning, Sifu Mu-Tan," was Zuko almost cheerily.

Mu-Tan smiled with great knowing, "Good morning to you too. Don't neglect the reports just because you have a room guest. Have either of you eaten yet?"

Zuko: "No, she is still sleeping. I'll go rouse her and show her the washing area in the changing rooms."

Mu-Tan nodded. "I'll have some lunch for us by the time you get out. Then I need you to run an errand and deliver a message to your uncle for me."

"Sure." Zuko climbed the stairs two at a time.

Mu-Tan chuckled to himself.

Zuko knelt by Faelin and gently shook her awake. She woke with a bit of a start. It took her a moment to remember where she was. She gathered the blankets around her modestly and blushed. "Uh… I'll… Um… I'll wait for you out in the hall. There are some clothes here. Mu-Tan is making lunch. I will show you to where you can bathe. Um… I'll be out there," Zuko stumbled through his words and stood out in the hall to wait for her to dress.

When she came out, he led her around the dojo to show her where everything was. She nodded warily to Mu-Tan as she passed him. Zuko showed her the bathing tub in the girl's changing room, feeling a bit awkward being in there. The water that poured into the tub was icy cold. When the tub was full, he put his hand in and heated the water with a bit of firebending. He was rather proud of himself for this little thing, especially when she smiled back at him for his consideration. Then he departed to the boy's changing room to take his own bath. Yes, the world seemed mighty perfect today.

Zuko apologized to Faelin about leaving her behind. He had to run these errands. He was a man of his word and he had a duty right now. He did, however promise to find her some more clothes and something to do while he works. Works. He was certainly starting to feel responsible and although he did not want to betray his own people, he did feel like he was about to contribute productively to the war and hopefully help bring it to an end and soon.

Faelin thought Zuko looked so strong and proud today. He looked more like a man than a boy. He was a man, though not according to old laws and traditions, but still. He had been through more in his one life so far than most men in three lifetimes. She was however, not so comfortable being left with Mu-Tan. She did not want to be harried about the Winter Solstice again.

After Zuko left, Mu-Tan called her. She glared at him. Her blue-green eyes darkening into a stormy grey. "Do NOT bring up the Winter Solstice. I said I'd think about it and I am not done thinking about it."

She was sharp as a whip and not as easily distracted as Zuko after such a fine night. Mu-Tan sighed. "Then let us talk about your guardian." Under this truce, they poured over documents and dug up memories about the roles and responsibilities of Silver Circle guardians and their training. As she had spent time in the Fire Nation, they worked out everything she could offer on firebenders and the temple warriors that were there. If Zuko was going to choose this path, Mu-Tan needed a little guidance. He was no firebender and only knew enough about it to fight against it in a war. Faelin corrected some of the notes he had written about the activities of temples and rituals, as well.

He smiled inwardly at how he so cleverly sparked both her memories and interest. He brought up the trunk of archival documents and left it in Zuko's room so that she may explore them. Perhaps this will stir her spirit and renew her calling to the way of the priestess. He wasn't sure how far along her own training was. She was not willing to inform him. She kept her own secrets. He had once heard Zuko call her Shinzui. It fit.

Faelin remained engrossed in these archives while Zuko was out and about. Many of the rites and rituals here were very different from what she had learned. She paused every now and then to stretch. She felt so relaxed and worry-free today. Zuko had left her one of his sweaters if she got cold. It was cold. She kept her legs wrapped in the blankets on the bed mat with the archives in various piles all around her. His sweater she donned when she shivered too much and was fed up of the cold. It was warm like he was. She closed her eyes as she brought the collar up and inhaled. It smelled like him. Mildly musky, mildly spicy, and strongly of bergamot and vanilla. It was packed with his tea. She didn't know he liked tea! She smiled at this small new secret she discovered about him. _Ok ok_, she admonished herself, _back to this treasure trove!_

Zuko ran the errands about the Lower Ring. It gave him a chance to discover parts of the Lower Ring he had never bothered to explore. He did the errands in order according to Mu-Tan's instructions. It took most of the day. The misty chill damp weather could not dampen his mood, not even if it downpoured with sleet. There was practically a light bounce in his steps. He noticed all kinds of things as he walked about. Interesting gardens. Stunning architecture in little grottos. He nodded politely to everyone he passed.

He stopped into a little second-hand clothing shop he passed and asked the serving, girl who was about Faelin's size, to find him a simple dress, a sweater, stockings and a kimono tunic and maybe some warm slippers for indoors. The girl smiled prettily at him and found three simple dresses. One was a lime yellow. One was peach with some green embroidery that matched the kimono tunic and one was a deep teal. He turned down the lime yellow one. The thought of that on her was… well… he was certain it would be awful. He looked through what money he had brought with him. He didn't have enough for both dresses. He chose the peach one and bowed to the girl in thanks for her assistance. She smiled and blushed then put the teal dress in for free. He shouldered that bag and headed to the next stop.

Next stop on the list was in the Western Quarter. He tilted his head quizzically at the note on the list. **Go to the hill in the Western Quarter of the Lower Ring. Climb it and stand by the tree.** That was it? This made no sense. Sometimes Mu-Tan made no sense and it took weeks before you understood what he had assigned you was actually important and useful. Off to the Western Quarter he walked. He climbed the hill and stood by the tree. He could see most of the Lower Ring from it and some of the Middle Ring. The view was breath-taking! He noticed that people had left tokens and burned incense under the tree. It was sacred and these were small ancestral offerings to the spirits. Shinzui. It felt as mysterious as Faelin, as awe inspiring and beautiful, as strong and stubborn, as delicate and fragile, as mysterious and spiritual. It was like this spot was closer to the spirit world than any place he had ever been. He wanted suddenly to bring Faelin here for her to see this and feel this. Tomorrow. He decided he would bring her here if he had to smuggle her over his shoulder. The thought amused him only briefly as he knew doing such a thing would incur such wrath out of her. But, he would definitely bring her here somehow. Deep down he was sure he needed to do that.

He then headed to meet up with his uncle. He arrived at the apartment just after his uncle. "Greetings honorable uncle!" He said as he walked in. Zuko handed him a sealed note. "Sifu Mu-Tan asked me to give this to you. Oh, do you have time for tea? I have only enough time for one cup. OH! I almost forgot to get my flute!" Zuko rummaged through his room for the flute.

Iroh just watched stunned. He had never seen Zuko like this. Zuko was in a GOOD mood. Zuko talked more in the last minute than he usually does in a whole month! A knowing grin split Iroh's face. He must have made up with Faelin. He made tea for them. Zuko could hardly sit still. He made a few trips back to his room to get some other things he forgot, including some of his savings, meager as it was. Zuko frowned at that, but refused to let it get him down. Iroh noticed. "I will be in the Upper Ring tomorrow, nephew. I will be looking at the new place. Since I am not going to be here," and he set a pouch of coin on the table then poured them tea, "I want to make sure you have enough in case of anything important."

"Uncle, I can't," protested Zuko.

Iroh: "You can and you will. It is my duty as your uncle to provide for you when I can and to be there for you… as I always have. You are like a son to me. Let me do this."

Zuko was stilled into awkward silence. Zuko accepted it coin. After drinking his tea, he packed everything he was taking with him very neatly. His uncle walked him to the door. Without warning, Zuko turned and very briefly hugged his uncle. Then he bowed honorably to him and left.

Iroh could not have felt more proud. He is growing into a very fine man. sniff Only after Zuko was gone and out of sight did he open the letter. It was a serious matter. Mu-Tan needed to talk to him about firebending and training. It was a request to do tea sometime very soon.

Zuko looked at his list of errands. That was it. There was nothing left. Now, it was time for one last errand of his own. He stopped in the Craftsmen's District at the paper maker's shop. He remembered the time he has seen Faelin caressing the papers and brushes and inks with longing before she was rudely dragged away by that sumo guard. He selected a notebook thick with pages and a few scrolls along with a small pile of loose pages. Then he chose two brushes, an ink stone and four colors of ink. It was going to cost quite a bit. He wasn't quite sure what she wanted them for. Perhaps he ought to find that out before getting so much. Zuko sighed. He kept the notebook, brushes, ink stone and selected just a basic black ink of a higher quality. Maybe later he would get her more.

The light was fading from the sky. Zuko hurried back to the dojo. He still had a great deal of reports to review and an evening class to attend!

Zuko did better in his class today than he had any other time. Mu-Tan was impressed. Despite the fact that Zuko did not win all the sparring matches, he was more patient, he used better timing, but still had not developed full strength. He had some recovering still to do. The observations helped him to better judge his opponents and evaluate the moves to learn them better. It was definitely a good exercise. Mu-Tan decided to make this a regular activity and told Travahar that he would be sitting out the next class as an observer. Every student would take a day.

The only moment Zuko lost all concentration was when Faelin slipped out of the office in the peach and green dress and kimono to watch him. This initial notice of her made Zuko distracted enough that his opponent flattened him to the mat rather embarrassingly. It was unfortunate for Travahar to have taken that moment to watch Faelin admiringly. Zuko had enough strength then to spar with Travahar and beat him soundly.

From that pinned position, Travahar whispered to Zuko, "She is exotically beautiful. You had better be an elite protector for her."

Zuko replied fiercely, "She is… And…I am."

Faelin had already returned to the upstairs room by the time Zuko was out of the changing room, bathed of the sweat and in clean clothes. He washed and hung his own things and took his turn at washing the dojo uniforms that get loaned out. He hadn't had time to note the state of his room when he arrived from his errands. He had dropped both bags, quickly announced that clothes were in this one, grabbed his uniform and hurried down to change for class. Now that he was done, he stood in the doorway appalled. He itched to neaten things. The bed was unmade; the trunk full of archival documents was open on the far wall opposite the desk. There were various piles all over the bed mat and floor. He was glad that the writing desk and his neat stacks were untouched. Faelin was in the middle of the chaos comparing five different documents. She looked up at him and smiled. He could not help but smile back. He had not seen her eyes sparkle with such joy before. He could forgive the mess for that.

Faelin had noticed his initial anxiety. She knew he was very picky about tidiness. He was like that on his ship. He seemed to be like that wherever he was. She got up and carefully gathered the documents she no longer needed to look at and set then in a neat stack to the left of the trunk. The documents she felt she really needed to look over more she placed in a neat stack to the right of the trunk and everything else that she had not gotten to went back inside the trunk for later.

Zuko sat on the desk chair clearly more relaxed to see his environment being squared away again. That peach outfit though was simply beautiful on her. He watched her moving in it and was pleased with what he saw. She was graceful. Her hair enticingly across her face when she leaned down with the piles of documents on the floor by the trunk. She would tuck her hair behind her ears repeatedly to get it out of the way.

When she was done, he caught her hand in passing. She smiled a little shyly at him as she wondered why he did this. "I have some work to do on these reports, Faelin. And I can see that you have plenty to occupy yourself with. You didn't have to put it all away." He didn't let her hand go. "I have something for you."

Faelin: "Zuko, what you got me already is more than I could…:

"What I got you, you needed. It doesn't count. This is … this is from me. I saw you once looking like you really wanted this but could not have it. I am not sure why you wanted it, but…" Zuko handed her the package from the paper maker's.

She opened it to find a small cotton pouch holding the black ink and ink stone and a bamboo roll with two brushes. Her mouth opened in awe at the thick notebook of blank pages. "Zuko," she breathed. Tears filled her eyes. She set the gifts on the desk and wrapped her arms around him. She was so overwhelmed she could not even say thank you.

He held her and encouraged her to sit on his lap as she didn't seem to intend to let him go any time soon. "So… um… why did you want them so badly?"

She pulled back a little and wiped her face with her sleeve to be blocked by his hand on her cheek as he brushed the dampness away with his fingers. She cast her eyes down with bashfully. "I… I like to paint," she admitted in a small voice.

Zuko: "You… paint?"

Faelin: "I haven't in a long long time. I might not be any more good. But…"

Zuko grinned. "I should have gotten the colors then!"

"No no… this is… this is wonderful. Thank you Zuko." She got up with her gifts and sat on the bed mat to admire them. "I won't be able to take them with me when I go back."

"They can stay here for you," he assured her as he turned his attention to the reports on his desk. He wished she could stay. After reading a couple reports, he was soon absorbed.

She pulled out the five documents she was comparing to continue her study of them. The drawing book and pouch remained in her lap. Zuko glanced over now and then thinking she might sleep with her new gift. He smiled to himself and returned his attention to the reports. Hours later, she stood and he stretched in his chair. She announced she was going to see about tea. He simply nodded and leaned back into his reports. She casually picked up his tea tin and headed downstairs where she came face to face with Mu-Tan. "I… I'm sorry to have… invaded your… I just… "

Mu-Tan saw the tea tin in her hand. "I was about to ask if you two would like some tea before I left for a job and meeting. I had just put the kettle on to boil." He didn't want to bother her about the Winter Solstice. He had planted his seeds for that. He would wait and see if they germinated and sprouted. "How is the research coming with the archives?"

Faelin: "They are fascinating! How did you ever manage to save them?"

Mu-Tan smiled mysteriously, "I have my ways, priestess. And our fire prince? How is he doing up there with those reports?"

Faelin: "Like he is going to have a back ache and a headache. I thought he could use some tea. What are those reports?"

"Just some things I have been working through. I thought it time he learned and got back into the habit of responsible duties. He has wandered lost too long." Mu-Tan deftly dodged explaining the actual details of his assignment for Zuko. Faelin simply nodded. When the tea was ready, he set it onto a tray for her and she carried it upstairs. Yes, his seeds are germinating nicely in this rich earth he has conveniently provided. Although, it was pure chance that he had this opportunity to provide this rich earth. It was pure chance that she was ousted for three days while the Dai Li inspected the red lantern house she worked in. He silently thanks all the powers that be for opening this door of opportunity.

Faelin was asleep on the mat with the archival documents. Zuko was still pouring over reports till half way through the night. There was so much to go through and so little time, especially if he wanted to spend some time with Faelin. He sighed and stretched and reviewed his notes on the reports. A huge yawn interrupted his review. No more. It was time for sleep. He neatly set aside the reports with their notes and tabs. He cleaned the desk and stretched as he yawned again. He changed into his sleeping pants and gathered Faelin's archives. She woke when he did so. "Is it late?" she asked. "Did I fall asleep with them?" He nodded.

"I'll return the tea tray while you change." It was his way of giving her privacy. He gathered the cups and teapot onto the tray and quietly walked downstairs. Mu-Tan was still not back. Zuko wondered if he was out on a mission. He frowned at the memory of the mission he had gone on with Mu-Tan. That was not the life for him, he realized.

But what was? All he had learned was how to be royalty, how to lead, and how to fight. He knew strategy for politics and war. He knew court etiquette. He now had some spy training and some sword smith training, too. But, what was he to do? What could he really offer Faelin? What was he to do with his life, now? He set the tray on the counter and washed the dishes. In two days she would be gone again to that red lantern house and slave master. He needed a way to get her out. He needed to know how to protect her when he did. She was a priestess. There were things he needed to know about protecting one. Isn't that what being Silver Circle was? And, he needed a way to have an income. As an exiled prince now wanted dead by the Fire Nation he was once heir to, he had nothing. If he left to the Upper Ring to help his uncle in the new Tea Shop, he could have a good income. However, that put him far from Faelin.

He yawned. It was too late to let his mind sort this out. Faelin was again asleep under the blankets when he came back in the room. He picked up the folded blanket at the end of the bed mat. He laid himself down between her and the wall with her blankets between them and the folded blanket he shook out and covered himself with. He did not trust himself to not want to touch her or more in the night. In the back of his mind there were other worries that followed him into sleep.


	34. Chapter 34:Calling to Duty

_Author's Note:_

_Chapter contains "lemon" content._

**_Chapter 34: Calling to Duty_**

Zuko woke early. It bothered him to be awake so early having gotten to sleep so late. Faelin was still a treasure to find in his bed. She slept peacefully. No night terrors. He was sure that was his doing. He carefully got up and dressed. He walked into the dojo and stretched and meditated. Then he did a little working out and grabbed a quick icy bath. Feeling more refreshed and awake, he reviewed in his mind what he wanted to do. The tree. He wanted to bring Faelin to the tree.

Mu-Tan walked in from the downstairs. "Zuko, we should really talk about some things this evening. Like the coming Winter Solstice and the Silver Circle… and what you will be doing and if you will be continuing your training with me and how."

This was bit of a shock, though not wholly unexpected. "Yes sifu Mu-Tan. I too want to discuss these things. I have questions. But … may I have some of this day with Faelin? She leaves tomorrow. I… I wish she didn't have to go. Is there some way she could not have to go back?"

Mu-Tan could feel Zuko's anguish of the thought of losing her back to that slave master. "You have to ask her. I don't know her contract. Those contracts are very binding. She might not have a choice."

Zuko nodded. When he returned to his room, Faelin was dressed. She had the peach dress on again. It really was lovely on her. "Dress warm. I want to take you out to see something." He almost had a mischievous smile on. Faelin wandered what he was planning. This has already been like a dream.

After she put on the sweater and kimono, she realized she had no shoes, just the stockings and slippers. Mu-Tan however had solved that as they came down the stairs. Mu-Tan handed her a small bag of her own belongings, including her sandals and cloak. "I took the liberty of acquiring these for you." He bowed and headed into the dojo for his own morning routine. Faelin blinked. Zuko brought the small bag upstairs while Faelin sat and put on her sandals on the bench by the front door.

Both now wearing cloaks, Zuko had a small scarf in his hand. "What is that for?" Faelin asked.

Zuko: "Because I don't want you to peak when we get close."

They walked briskly through the streets till they reached the West Quarter of the Lower Ring. There he turned to blindfold her. "Relax. You are safe. They didn't want you near the red lantern house. You are as far from it as is almost possible in the city. Now. Do you trust me?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. "I trust you. Don't let me fall."

Zuko covered her eyes with the scarf and tied it behind her head. His breath was warm on her cheek when he spoke, "As long as you are with me, I will never let you fall. I promise." He held her face in his hands a moment and briefly kissed her lips. Then he took her hands and led her up the hill, windingly.

When they reached the top, he stood behind her. "Are you ready?" She nodded. He removed the blindfold and smiled at her gasp of awe. It was just like his own yesterday. She stepped back and leaned her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. He wished he could capture this moment in a bottle and save it forever. "I think this is a sacred place. People have been leaving offerings by the tree." He showed her.

The strangest thing happened then. It caused the hairs on his arms to rise. Her tattoos suddenly came to life and glowed steadily. She walked to the tree and whispered words he was not familiar with. She touched the tree and the leaves seemed to perk up. She knelt and touched the items by the tree and they faded into nothing as she spoke. She then placed her hand again on the tree and looked up into its branches. Her tattoos began to fade to normal and tears streaked her face.

He knelt beside her unsure of what happened or what to do. This is what he needed to talk to Mu-Tan about. Now more than ever. He hesitantly reached out and touched her shoulder. She turned into him and wept into his shoulder. He just held her. The rain fell sadly from the sky.

They walked back in silence. When they reached the dojo, Zuko could stand the silence no longer. "Shinzui. What was that? What happened? What did you do?"

"The spirit world called," was all she said. She was still lost in her own thoughts.

It didn't answer his questions. Soon his persistence started another strong argument that ended with him yelling and her storming off up the stairs. Why did things always come to this? She had a calling, a duty, and a responsibility. She was a priestess. He didn't understand.

Mu-Tan had to dodge Faelin as she stormed by. He met Zuko in the dojo. The yelling back and forth had drawn him there to see what was going on. Zuko glared at him with fire behind his golden eyes. "You knew this would happen! That is why you sent me there. You planned this, didn't you, Mu-Tan!"

Mu-Tan spoke softly and calmly. "Quiet down. Yes. I knew something would happen. She needed a reminder just as you know she does. I merely provided the opportunity. She cannot ignore the spirit world. She is as bound to it with her vows as the avatar is because of who and what he is. Let her settle down. You have the absolute worst methods of extracting information, especially from someone you care about."

Zuko was too angry to listen. He lashed out instead at his sifu. Mu-Tan was ready. Zuko had this building. A good fight would help get it out of his system and maybe then he would be more open to listening to reason. Without firebending, he used every move he knew. There just was no taking this man down. When he got tired, Mu-Tan stopped defending and firmly pinned Zuko to the mats.

"Now," commanded Mu-Tan, "You will listen." He let Zuko up and they knelt facing each other on the dojo floor as though to meditate like they used to. "She is a priestess. It is her calling. But somehow, for some reason, she put it aside. It probably has something to do with her contract. She is not the kind of woman you can just push for answers. If you push her to a point where she is uncomfortable, she stops trusting and just closes up. I sent you there to see the place that I want to bring her to for the Winter Solstice rite. That is only a couple days away. I gave her the temple archives hoping it would encourage her to remember her calling and be brave enough to take this chance. If the rites are not done, the spirits are angry. And every year they take lives. Angry ancestors are the worst. They become hungry ghosts that wreck havoc on friends and family. It is not the faults of the folk. The Dai Li have forbidden the temple rites to be performed. It is the same in the Fire Nation. These are considered to be superstitious with no real founding in reality. But the spirit world is very very real."

Zuko remembered the Ocean Spirit from the North Pole and how real and dangerous it was. "I can't force her to do it, sifu."

"No, but you might be able to reassure her that she will be safe," Mu-Tan suggested. If I can manage to get the people organized, we will have a network that will keep the Dai Li from interfering. And you, as her guardian, could be the last barrier of defense. Stand at the top of the hill with her. No one should get that far, but in case they do…" Mu-Tan hoped Zuko was ready for that.

Zuko nodded, aware. "If she agrees. Sifu? If I cannot be heir, can I be Silver Circle? And if I do eventually become heir, can I still be Silver Circle?"

Mu-Tan smiled that warm proud fatherly smile at Zuko. "I would be honored to train you as Silver Circle. And as for being heir and Fire Lord, you would have to make a choice. You would have to choose between her and the throne… unless she were your wife. Now, you have apologizing to do. Save the convincing till after class."

Something suddenly struck Zuko, hard enough to make his eyes wide. It was the worry that was in the back of his mind when he fell asleep. What he and her had done together… _Dear gods,_ thought Zuko. _What have I done? What if she is pregnant? _A thousand worries flew through his mind until they were stopped by a memory. _The healer said I would likely not be able to have another after that._ She most likely wasn't. He was very relieved. He bowed to Mu-Tan as he left the dojo and bathed the sweat from his body.

Mu-Tan paced his own concerns in the rooms under the dojo. The biggest was how to keep Travahar safe during the Solstice if Faelin chooses NOT to do the rite. The spirits target the royal family first all the time. Travahar was willful and stubborn and thought himself invincible. If he were in the Lower Ring during the Winter Solstice, it could be his death. Mu-Tan was also still awaiting the arrival of news from the network of White Lotus to see if they were in on keeping the Dai Li busy should they get wind of any of this. Time was so short. Faelin didn't have to announce to the whole populous that she was a priestess, just to the spirit world on this one night. Mu-Tan sighed. He had to trust that everything would fall into place in time. He decided he would arrange to meet the Dragon of the West after the Winter Solstice in this new Tea Shop he was moving to. He would start Zuko's training after that.

Zuko stood in the doorway to the room. Faelin was rifling through a manuscript. She barely looked at him as he entered the room. "Faelin?" he began. _Shinzui… Why was it always so hard to apologize?_ He was right in what he had said to her, just not in how he said it. _Fine. I don't have to apologize for what I said, just how._ "I'm sorry I yelled."

She looked at him directly now. Her expression softened. "I am too, for yelling back." They spent the afternoon quietly together reviewing their own sets of papers, her on the bed mat with the trunk opened and he at the desk, until Mu-Tan called them down for food. The noise in the dojo was like a chaotic war. Ling was trying to manage the young teen group.

Faelin returned to the archival trunk after dinner while Zuko worked out before his class. Mu-Tan asked Zuko and Travahar to stay longer for more training. Since the competition was coming up after the Winter Solstice, he had decided that these two students were his best of the class along with three others of this group. By the end of the first "extra" hour of training two of the three decided the extra training was too difficult. The third bowed out before the end of the second hour.

The two young men left were given a break to drink, cool off, and walk or meditate. They did all three. Mu-Tan was impressed to see that they were learning moves off of each other. It was fascinating to see Travahar sneak in a Northern Shaolin move now and then and Zuko to unexpectedly use a Hung Gar move he had not learned from Mu-Tan yet. These two were competitive, had drive and determination, were not easily turned down or beaten, and most especially they were adaptive.

Zuko was ready to start learning more advanced moves, and perhaps he was also ready to teach. Although, Zuko never seemed to use the advanced moves Mu-Tan had seen in the war. Maybe Zuko had not learned that much in his own style. Mu-Tan noted to ask the Dragon of the West about that. Maybe Iroh would come in now and then as a guest teacher? Mu-Tan thought all these things while watching and guiding.

Zuko dragged himself, still sweaty, up the stairs and gathered the mass of notes and comments he had made on the reports for Mu-Tan. Faelin glanced at him then looked at him wide-eyed. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Zuko straightened up and nodded, trying to not look like he was just worked to death. "I'll be back in a bit. I have to give in these reports and notes. And wash up."

He left, but Faelin could see he was bone tired. She tidied up the trunk of archives. She so wished she could stay longer and keep perusing them. She set the documents and books and scrolls for the Winter Solstice rites on the top. Earth Nation rites were quite different from Fire Nation rites. Fire Nation rites were all about Sun Worship and fire or candle vigils through the night. Earth Nation rites were all about ancestral worship and honoring of the spirits of the land, both of whom she had felt were very angry and sad for having been neglected so long. She decided she would take the risk and try to help. She could almost hear them all calling to her in the quiet already. There was just so much to learn and not enough time. There were only two days till the Winter Solstice now. She would only be able to do part of the rite. The other parts of the rite were supposed to be done by various members of the royal family or leaders of the area. There was definitely no way to get the royal family involved. She would do what she could. First was to learn the song. Maybe she could convince Zuko to play it on his flute to help her. She blushed. He plays the flute well. She pulled out the notes for the song. If Zuko was not too exhausted, perhaps he would play it a few times tonight where no one would care that she was here to sing to it. It might be the only time she would be able to hear it and try to sing it aloud before the actual Winter Solstice. If she could get the tune right, she could practice the song in her head while at the red lantern house. It would certainly make working there more pleasant!

After washing up, Zuko passed Faelin in the office. "I'll be up soon." She was making tea. "Zuko? Did you bring your… um… it was a flute, wasn't it?"

His cheeks colored. She remembered. "Yes."

Faelin smiled. "I'll be up soon with the tea. I tidied. I know you can't stand disorder. It is all gone now." She stepped in and wrapped her arms around his waist.

It startled him and he winced a little where a bruise or aching muscle was, but put his arms warmly around her shoulders. They didn't want this to be their last safe night together. "I'll play for you tonight," he said quietly. She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss that was cut short by the water boiling. She broke the hold and dashed over to make sure it didn't boil over.

Zuko walked slowly up the stairs to his room. He pulled out his flute and glanced at the scroll by the bed mat. Mu-Tan was locked away down in the basement with Ling and Bao-Li for another meeting that would likely result in night missions. Zuko stretched and flopped onto the bed mat. He was exhausted, but it was a good exhausted. It was not the kind of exhausted that would make him sleep. On the contrary, he just needed to relax for a bit. Otherwise he was feeling remarkably energized now. He was also feeling a little shy about actually playing his flute when someone was there to listen to him. It made him feel a bit nervous. He stretched his hand over to pick up the scroll again and look over the notes. He sat up so suddenly when he realized what she wanted played that his flute went clattering across the floor. It was a Winter Solstice song. "Winter Solstice Rite: Song for the Ancestors: Listen to the Breaths". He Picked up his flute and flopped back down on the bed mat. So, she was going to do it. That saved him trying to do any convincing. He was so relieved! Then this evening will be full of just enjoying their time together. He looked over at her with contentment in his face and eyes and just smiled as she walked in with the tray of tea. She smiled back and he thought nothing could be more beautiful at the moment.

They took turns changing into sleeping clothes and not looking at the other change. Then they settled on the bed mat with pillows and blankets. He leaned against the wall and shyly stumbled through the notes of the song, repeatedly reminding her not to laugh. She vowed she would never laugh at his playing. She poured the tea and added the milk and sugar that she learned he liked in his. She came to like it that way too, though with a different tea. Among the teas that Mu-Tan had in tins, she found one that she had now decided was her favorite. It was a ginger peach ceylon. She sipped her tea listening to him play the tune over and over till he finally got it smooth. He had neglected his tea with the determination to get the new tune right. When he finally had it right to his satisfaction, he set his flute down and heated his tea with some firebending. She stretched out on her stomach on the bed mat looking over the song and humming the tune while he sipped his tea. Occasionally he would lean over and correct a note for her and she would hum it again with the correction. She would need the scroll with the words at the time of the rite for she wouldn't be able to memorize the words in time. But the tune, she felt she could remember. He played a couple other tunes for her then the song she needed to learn one more time before setting the flute aside. It was wonderful listening to him play. He seemed so at peace too when he played.

Zuko stretched out beside Faelin on the bed mat. He was on his left side facing her and the wall with his head propped up in his hand, leaning on his elbow. This gave him a comfortable position to watch her and point out notes with his right hand. It was a stress-free evening and he was most enjoying it. It was their last evening together where neither had to worry about anything. While he listened to her humming the Winter Solstice song again, he silently prayed that they could have more nights like this somehow. He reached over and moved her hair aside with his fingers so he could see her face better. She turned her head his direction as she stopped her humming. "No no… don't stop," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and hummed, then softly sang some other tunes she knew for him. His hand stroked her neck and traced the tattoos at her shoulder while he listened. Her skin was so soft. The room began to feel a bit warm. He gently rubbed his hand down her back, stopping at her waist. She gave a little shiver and rolled onto her back getting a little closer to him as he was warm and the night air was chilly. His hand never left her body. It caressed around her waist to rest on her stomach as she had rolled over. "Sing something else?" he asked in his softest deep voice. She sang the lullaby she knew, the one she first heard him play at the Fountain of Lights, the one she learned during her time in the Fire Nation. He marveled at how the song filled her whole body as though she moved energy to bring it forth, like when he does firebending.

He reached over and caressed her cheek, trailing his fingers down her throat and resting his on the upper part of her chest where he could feel the song vibrate. If he had asked if it was getting warm in the room, she would have had to agree with him. She paused in the song as her hands took up his hand and she kissed his palm. He remembered her words from the other night. _I trust these hands, that they will always protect me, always hold me, always be gentle._ "These hand, I promise will always protect you, always hold you, always be gentle," he vowed. His hand now released, he caressed over her shoulder, down her side and rested it on her hip. She placed her left hand over his heart wondering if he remembered the rest. "This heart, I promise will always be true and loyal, always be full of honor and love, even if you must fill it so with these qualities." She smiled at him amazed. He smiled back, a little amazed too that he was remembering this. She touched his lips with the fingers of her right hand then ran them through his hair and around the back of his neck. He removed his hand from her hip and placed it on the bed mat for balance as he leaned down and kissed her moistened lips. "I will always move slow and speak softly," he breathed, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. "Will… will you trust this man with your body and your soul?" His cheeks burned with awkwardness. She pulled him down and kissed him again. She tentatively kissed his lips then cheek then jaw and close to his ear where she whispered an affirmative.

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_Author's Note: section #1 edited out for adult content… look for the snippit below._

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She was shaking. She was shivering. The rush that overtook him and then her had frightened her. She was afraid to like it. She was afraid. It was senseless fear, but it would not leave her. Zuko worried that he had hurt her. She would not speak. When he came away from her, he pulled up the blankets and lay down beside her. She curled close to him apologizing. He was confused as to why she apologized. "Did… did I hurt you?" She shook her head. "Did I frighten you?" She shook her head again. "But you were frightened somehow." She just nodded. She was still shaking. He held her close and protectively while frowning deeply to himself. He thought to himself, if we ever get the chance to do this again, it won't ever be in this position. If it is, I swear to not lose control again. I swear it. He stroked her and soothed her. "I love you, my Shinzui. I never want you to be frightened. Shhhhh…" Slowly the shaking eased. She hated herself for being so afraid of what she felt and of liking it. She felt too silly to tell him why she was so scared. It didn't make any sense. Would it ever? Will her past experiences forever leave her marred like this on the inside of her soul? They both wandered that in their silence. He kissed the top of her head then lifted her chin and kissed her lips. "Be not afraid on our last night." The candle finally flickered out leaving them in complete darkness.

-----

Why do all good things come to an end? Why can't all of life's stories have happy endings? These were Zuko's thoughts just before he woke up to find himself curled naked around a curled up naked Faelin, her back pressed against his warm chest. He was like a furnace and a warm blanket in one with his arms wrapped around her holding her within the curl of his own body. They woke each morning like this. He hoped they would wake again like this in the future. He sighed. She breathed slow and deep as she slept easily. She was so relaxed there in his embrace. The one blanket they had on was loosely covering their legs. He was glad he could keep her warm like this. On their right sides, his left arm was pinned under both their heads. No wonder those fingers were so numb! He was about to move his right arm from around her when he realized she had it held snug to her breast in a small hug in her sleep. Would he disturb this blissful slumber by moving? He closed his eyes and softly touched his lips to the nape of her neck. He felt a change in the rhythm of her breathing. "Just me, Shinzui," he whispered. She gave his arm a little squeeze and snuggled into his curl a little. As she pressed her soft skin against him, it awakened his body rudely without his planning. He winced and buried his face into the back of her neck with embarrassment trying to will his body to obey. When she pulled his hand up to kiss his palm shyly, he knew there would be no way his body would obey unless he got up and had a cold bath.

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_Author's Note: section #2 edited out for adult content… look for the snippit below._

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Zuko silently hoped that Mu-Tan was not listening. Their cries of pleasure, though, would have likely been hard not to hear. He was also grateful that his uncle was no where around. Mu-Tan at least had the grace to pretend he heard nothing. His uncle would have thrown a party and announced to the world what Zuko had just done. This morning, though, it was just him and Faelin. He embraced her fiercely and she held him as tightly. They prayed that something wonderful would come out of this experience and that it would not be lost forever, a memory they could hold onto, a dream.

**_Edited Out Snippit #1 of Sexual Content_**

Now that he had permission to do as they had the night before, he had no idea how to proceed in this position. Moreover, he had no idea how to proceed smoothly without stumbling so much it would be embarrassing. This alone almost frustrated him enough to moodiness. It all had happened so by chance the other night.

He leaned into her and took a slow deep breath, inhaling her scent and calming his mind. Then he backed away a little. Again he moved his hand back to her belly and rested it there, hoping to capture the moment of smoothness he had not five minutes ago. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders to feel the muscles move there. He was so strong, yet remarkably gentle. She knew him to sometime be the very opposite, but these moments were rare and she wanted to treasure them.

He noticed her watching his eyes. He wondered what she saw there. Tensing the arm he was leaning on, he leaned down again and rubbed his unscarred cheek against hers. Her hair carried the light scent of jasmine. Her hands slid around his shoulders igniting fire down his spine and he breathed into her ear. He wondered if she knew how she stirred him, how like this, he could see the cliff's edge coming close. He wondered if she could feel his hunger rising for her. He didn't want it to rise too fast. He didn't want this to be a rush like with Kozue. He didn't want to frighten Faelin. He had promised to be slow. He slid his right hand up her side and behind her shoulder so he could lean on it more balanced. As he lifted away from her a few inches, her hands and eyes followed the contours of his muscles. He could hardly contain the soft moan as her fingertips explored his body nervously. He reminded himself to be patient as a mountain. He watched her look him over and noticed her cheeks flushed a rosy pink as their eyes met. This time he cautiously rubbed his scarred cheek against her other cheek. Her breath was hot on his neck. Her hands caressed down his back to the edge of his loose sleeping pants and back up his back as she took him into a hug to feel the strength of him against her.

He slid his other hand behind her other shoulder, bracing himself on both elbows. He embraced her tightly, protectively. For better balance, so as not to lean too heavily upon her, he moved his right leg over to her other side. Now he could use his legs as well to balance his weight. He was glad for that as her lips brushed his ear and he leaned into her a bit to feel that again. A tingle danced like a little flames from where her lips touched him through his whole body causing a little groan to escape before he could hold it in. She tensed. He regretted his tiny lack of restraint. He lifted some of his weight off her and gave her shoulder a chaste little kiss as he waited for her to relax again. He watched her eyes and hoped she could see in his that he would never step beyond the limits of her desires. No matter how hard it might be for him, he would take things as slow as she needed or wanted. He also realized that in this position, she was more nervous than she was the night before.

He tentatively kissed and nuzzled her shoulder and neck hoping to reassure her. Slowly she relaxed beneath him. He smiled his relief. He never wanted to frighten her. He never wanted her to see that other guy in him. Again he nuzzled her neck as he noticed she had liked that. His own sense of pleasure was roused whenever something stirred her to make a small noise of her own pleasure. He wanted to discover more of the same. He brought one hand to lightly touch her shoulder and slide down her arm. Her breathe quickened a little at his touch and she turned her head to expose more of her neck for him. This encouraged him to try something. He kissed her neck and hesitated a moment before touching the tip of his tongue there next and nibble a little with his lips gently. A sigh of pleasure was heard from her and he smiled proudly to himself. _Eat mat, Kozue,_ he suddenly thought, _I can stir someone as well as you stirred me and with more grace… and with all my love._ The hand he moved under her arm and down her side to feel her curves, remembering them from the night before. Her night dress was thin. It was easy to feel her through it. He wanted to feel her skin, just hadn't figured out how to manage that just yet.

Her stomach muscles tensed and her back arched slightly. He could feel the curves of her breasts against his chest. He kissed her neck and then her shoulder. Relishing her little body shifts and sighs. She swallowed and closed her eyes, leaning her head back and letting herself be slightly lost in the sensation of his lips and touches. He moved his hand lower to the curve of her hip. Her hands came up the back of his neck and into his hair sending shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and rested his brow against her shoulder, enjoying this new sensation. She kissed the top of his head and he gave a quick little nuzzle into her shoulder which made her giggle. He had to look up to see the smile her giggle produced. He loved her smiles. Feeling bolder, he kissed that shoulder and then her neck, and then a little lower to the part of her chest that her dress did not cover. As he came up to kiss her lips, her hand moved down his back to push the edge of his loose pants a little so she could rest her hands upon the back of his hips.

He pulled himself up on the elbow he was now leaning on and kissed several little kisses on her lips. Then he leaned a little to one side for balance and moved his hand down to her thigh, down to the hem of her dress. He paused there and looked up into her eyes questioningly. Her cheeks were flushed with heat and she nibbled her lower lip. She took a few breaths deciding if she was ready for what he might do. Not knowing exactly was both unnerving and exhilarating. He waited. He kissed her navel through her dress to indicate what he intended and then suddenly felt shy and awkward for doing so. Was he being too bold? He wanted to touch his lips to the delicate pattern of tattoos that encircled her navel as his fingers had done the other night. He almost lost his nerve when he heard her whisper, "you may." He looked into her eyes to be sure that is what he heard. She looked as nervous as he felt right now, but she nodded.

He sat up and moved back a little without putting any weight onto her. His legs could hold his weight for a very long time if he wanted them to, even in this kneeling position. He realized he was straddling her legs and could look up the length of her body from were he was sitting back. Her head was tilted shyly and hands rested above her as though she were deciding to cross them as a pillow behind her head but had not concluded the decision. He could see her chest rise and fall in short breaths like his own. She closed her eyes and trusted him. He rubbed his fingers against his palms. Then he gently placed them on her waist pausing to regain his courage. He slowly slid his hands down her hips and thighs to the hem of her dress. Then he slipped them under that hem. He heard her quick intake of breath and paused, but she did not make to stop him. He swallowed and very very slowly slid his hand up her thighs feeling the warmth of her skin in his hands. As his hands reached the top of her thighs, he pushed the dress hem up over her hips.

He was reminded that she had nothing under this dress. She slept as he did, with very little on. He was momentarily amazed at the new knowledge that every hair on her body was truly fiery red. He felt her shiver. He leaned down and breathed hot breath on her thighs to warm them. Then he breathed on her hips and could not resist pressing his warm moist lips to each hip. She still did not indicate for him to stop. Instead he heard one of those little moans of pleasure which made his body stiffen with hunger and desire. He pushed her dress up a little more to expose her stomach. Her tattoos came down the center to encircle her navel and from her back over her hips to coils around her thighs. He rubbed his cheeks against her stomach kissing around her navel intermittently. He felt and heard her breathe a little heavily. His own breath began to match hers. He wanted to take her into a tight embrace and kiss her hungrily. That cliff edge… he held himself on it though. Held back, taking this slow, savoring ever slow second.

Her stomach muscles tightened and she slowly sat half up, leaning on her elbows. He kissed up the line of her tattoos. His hands sliding to her back and lifting her dress higher to expose more of her to him. He stopped before exposing her breasts. His hands on her back, he pulled her to sitting, pulling her to him to kiss her lips tentatively and then more deeply, struggling against the hunger and fire that begged and pulled at him. She wrapped her arms around him. She didn't need to hold him. He held her and she knew he would not let her fall. She explored his chest with her finger tips and then her lips. He was hot and beginning to sweat. His muscles tense with inner need. Cradling her with one arm her ran his fingers through her hair and breathed into her ear, "may I?" Her lips brushed his ear as she replied, "you… may…" And he lifted the dress over her head, relieved that this did not turn out quite as awkward as he had worried it would. She shivered. He closed his eyes and allowed his body heat to warm the air around them and to warm her.

He braced one hand on the bed mat and lowered her part way. Then he kissed her neck and her shoulder. When she arched with a little sigh, he let his lips explore the roundness of each breast. He had to stop a moment and pant to keep himself from falling over that inner cliff to be carried away by the waves of fire. She pulled herself up and held him in a tight hug. When his heavy panting eased to heavy breathing, she relaxed one arm and caressed his side to his hip and pushed his loose pants over the one hip. "Are you sure?" he asked. He wanted her to be sure. Because if those came off, he was not sure he would want to stop the course they were on. "I'm sure," she said with a slight quake in her voice. She was nervous, but wanted this. He would go as slow as he possibly could. Realizing she would not be able to remove his pants as easily as he removed her dress, he discovered the moment of true awkwardness. He laid her back on the bed mat with a small kiss and sat up.

Zuko rocked back onto his feet, stood, and removed his pants. Blushing furiously as he noticed she could see all of him in all his glory. He melted down over her with self-consciousness. He dared not put his weight on her now, especially not now. He tried to not let any part of him touch her at first. If he thought he felt awkward before, he was sorely mistaken, because this was truly what awkwardness felt like. The fire dwindled within him and he shivered. Seeing him shiver, Faelin placed a hand on his chest. He looked into her eyes and relaxed in their depths. The fire sparked back to life with each touch they exchanged, with each hesitant kiss until they were both comfortable again. He lowered himself until he could feel her against him and he was warmed by her body. Her careful yet curious caresses caused fire to course again through him and roll through him to stiffen him. His muscled tensed and rippled down his abdomen. Again he backed up to the safe distance where he could kiss her belly. This time however, she ran her fingers through his hair or over his shoulder and she watched him slowly work his way up her body with his lips as the hunger built into a roaring flame beyond the edge beckoning him again to be lost in its heat.

They were both breathing heavily when he reached her breasts again with their small sharp peaks. Her leg shifting and her thigh brushed him. His breath caught and he braced himself a moment to not fall over the cliff. He allowed his hungry kisses to claim her shoulder only. Her slight sighs and moans encouraged him to let go a little at a time. If he got too hungry or moved to quick, she tensed and he held back a few moments till she relaxed. He enjoyed watching her be lost in pleasure with his kisses and tentative touches of his tongue. He tasted her, savored the sweat upon her. He slowly and almost nervously lowered himself down upon her not putting all his weight down. Like a key sliding down to settle at the entrance to the lock, so did he. They both gasped in surprise. He lifted up again. He had not expected that and felt foolish for not expecting it.

In the hopes of saving himself that startlement again he moved his right knee between hers and then his left, so he could easily sit back if he wanted to. She shifted her legs to give him that room as she bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She moved her hands over his shoulders. Then one behind is neck again and the other down to his lower back. He closed his eyes and absorbed her velvety touch. She pulled him down and whispered in his ear. "It's ok. I trust you. Even if I am nervous, don't… don't pull away. I want to feel you close to me." He embraced her burying his face into her neck a moment. He did not lower his hips down yet. He kissed her neck and felt her other hand ignite every nerve as it traveled down his spine. He allowed her to guide him down upon her. Again he slid into place like a key ready for the lock. The flames flared beyond the cliff and he panted and sweated with want.

He kissed down her neck and shoulder hungrily. As she arched her back, he slid his hands in behind her, just under her shoulders so that he could hold her better, holder her closer. He could hear Kozue in his mind saying _relax, let go, your body knows what to do_. He relaxed into a long passionate kiss. The fire roiled like a hungry dragon in his loins. "M…may I?" he stammered hoarsely. She shook her head, "not yet." He waited as he kissed her more gently. He looked into her now very dark eyes as the candlelight flickered threatening to go out. She returned his gentle kisses and relaxed into the feeling of him upon her, of him almost within her. He kissed along her jaw and down her neck. He felt her relax into him as he did.

When she tilted her head back and arched her back a little, her hips shifted and his breath caught at the delirious teasing sensation. His muscles tensed and quivered. He allowed his body to move in the smallest rhythmic pushes, testing the gates of heaven. The feeling almost drove him over the edge and he had to stop. However, she did not. She had caught up his rhythm. So he continued. Little by little he let go of the cliffs edge. Little by little he pushed a bit further, a bit deeper, pulling fully out. Letting go was not losing control he reminded himself. He did not allow the burning fires of his desire to consume him. He could feel the tightening and tensing of her body under and around him in ever increasing waves. Pulling out through that tightness was so exhilarating it called him to push deeper in again. Soon he rode the waves of his and her desire. He no longer pulled himself out as he thrust in shorter quicker movements. This time he could not even hold onto control. The fire rolled through him so suddenly as he gripped her shoulders and groaned out his growling pleasures. He thrust deep and hard a couple times till the wave released him. She climaxed a moment later then begged him to not move, her voice full of fright.

_**Edited Out Snippit # of Sexual Content**_

He gently pulled his arm free. But instead of getting up, he stroked her shoulder. They relaxed like this with gentle touches and snuggling for some time. She could feel him hard against the back of her. His gentle caressing was soothing her into the lull of safety. Easing any concerns of fear or worry. He could feel her relaxing under his touch. He relaxed too. He kissed the nape of her neck again, then the back of her shoulder. As he looked down the length of her back, the curves of her body gave the most sensual perspective to her tattoos. Or maybe it was the other way around? The tattoos accentuated her every curve. His warm hand flowed slowly like lava down her side to explore the curve of her waist. As his hand moved around to her belly, he felt her stomach muscles tighten. "I… don't want to frighten you again…" he said a little worried now that every moment she tensed was a fright he was giving her.

She caught his hand against her belly and held it there. "You didn't frighten me. You never do." She looked over her shoulder at him to reassure him.

He could see the soft blush on her cheek. He could also see clearly, that she was not at all frightened. He shifted to free his slightly numb arm and lean up on it a little. He ignored the pins and needles in his fingertips. He leaned into her and kissed that soft blush. "This might be the last time we are together like this for a while." She nodded. He kissed little uncertain kisses down her neck to her shoulder and she turned her face into the pillow her arms made for her. He brushed his lips along the back of her shoulder to her spine. She sighed softly and moved languidly under those kisses. As he moistened his lips, his tongue touched her skin and she inhaled sharply. That was a very sensitive spot for her. He tentatively touched his tongue there again to confirm this. There was so much to discover about her. He wondered how he would ever be able to do it in this last early morning, let alone in his lifetime, but he could certainly try! He slid his hand back up her side to the back of her neck and then trailed his fingertips down her spine in wonderment as she arched her back and inhaled deeply. He backed away from her a little and then repeated the action with kisses and little touches of his tongue. His hand rested on her hip as his lips reached the back of her hips. As his lips and tongue retraced their path, he slid his hand around the front of her and it stopped just under her right breast. He had to pause as his movements caused him to move the length of his manhood along her skin and upon the return trip up, he was suddenly unsure how to place himself. She shifted slightly as he came up just under her. Her fingers entangled in the bit of blanket she had nearby.

He didn't want to penetrate her suddenly or by accident. He calmed his breathing and kissed the back of her shoulder. Her body grew hot to his touch, flushed with pleasure. The knowledge burned inside him. He smoothly cupped her breast in his hand and lightly felt the hard peak of her nipple. It was fascinating how the body became erect with pleasure and so much more sensitive to touch. Little sighs or gasps escaped her and he took some time to tease those erect peaks. He relished her enjoyment. Then he slid his hand slowly down, over her hip and down her thigh, following the path of his hand with his eyes, his breath hot against her back. He wanted to explore her every curve. His hand moved to the inside of her thighs and she yielded a little to him. He licked his lips and swallowed. His fingers ignited fire within her and her breath came quicker. He caressed the inside of her thighs as he wondered what it would be like to feel those gates of heaven hidden away secretly so close to his fingers. He slowly moved his fingers higher up the inside of her thigh then brushed smoothly over with no pressure till his hand reached her navel. His curiosity to know where he had penetrated was greater than his nervousness.

He nibbled the back of her shoulder a moment then moved his fingers down to push past the clouds and find where the sweet rain gathered. He closed his eyes and explored. She melted into him, opening up for him. Little waves of pleasure would course through her as his fingers explored. He found other sensitive places to tease. When she began to pant as the waves became more intense, he wanted to fill her as before and feel that tightening around the more sensitive erect part of his own body. She moved by instinct, arching slightly, her hips shifting. His hand rested firmly on her pelvis feeling her rock slowly, the tips of his finger just barely where they can keep teasing her.

He nuzzled and nibbled the back of her neck before letting himself close to that inner cliff. He relaxed a little more and let his body find its own pace and direction. Small shifts, small arches and soon he penetrated her, filling her deeply. They groan together with the feeling. With his hand still firm on her pelvis he guided their pace as his body wanted. When he felt a building rush as she tensed in waves he pulled out with reluctance. He didn't want this over too soon. They breathed heavily for a few minutes before he pushed again inside her. Again they moved rhythmically. Faelin allowed herself to be guided. With him deep and stiff in her and his fingers teasing her just above, she could not contain the little cries and the intense waves pulled her ever closer to climax. Again he pulled out but pushed fully in again through tightness. This was delirious pleasure.

Zuko pulled back and away from her so as not to be lost to that pleasure yet. He rolled onto his back letting the cool air cool his flames. She turned over concerned. He smiled and pulled her on top of him. His smile became mischievous as he took her by the hips and showed off a little as he lifted her. Her hands went to his chest to stead her. He let her down now straddled over him, enveloping him. He looked up to her beautiful face. Their hands explored the contours of every curve and every muscle. He gripped her hips and pulled her up a bit, then brought his hand to her shoulder and puller her into a deep kiss. With this change in position, he could not only feel her pleasure, he could see it. As he kissed her, he pushed her hips with both hands until he was again deep inside her. Now he let her determine the rhythm. They were awkward at first, stumbling. Her moist kisses caused him to moan aloud when she applied them to his throat. As they relaxed into a rhythm and he felt the pleasures build in her intensely again, he did not pull out. He let her grapple his shoulders and experience it to its fullest while he held tightly to the cliff's edge. Before the final waves of ecstasy washed from her he let go of the cliff's edge and took his pleasure. Soaked with sweat they lay together, exhausted.


	35. Chapter 35: Hidden Agenda

_Author's Notes:_

_Sun Fei is modeled after Farrah/ZMP. She has helped also with the writing of some of this chapter, the sections involving Ty-min, who is modeled after Farrah/ZMP's light-heartedness. She also helped with the combat scene as I myself have never been in a dojo nor really ever watched real sparring._

**_Chapter 35: Hidden Agenda_**

Bathed and dressed in the new teal dress and a sweater, Faelin hugged Zuko goodbye. He gave her the cloak she had given him so she could hide herself from prying eyes. He did not want to let her go. He did not want her to go back to that life. But what could he do? What could he offer her? How would he protect her or provide for her? The brooding shadowed his expression as she vanished from sight. He sighed a tight and internally painful sigh. Mu-Tan came and put a comforting hand on Zuko's shoulder only to have Zuko snap his shoulder away and clench his fists.

Mu-Tan was not easily shrugged off though. "She is not gone, Zuko. And we have much to plan if she is to do the rites for the Winter Solstice." He put his hand again on Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko didn't shrug it off this time. He was stressed and frustrated and already missing Faelin, but secretly wanted Mu-Tan's fatherly comfort. Ancestors knew, Zuko was not going to ever get it from his own birth father. That too hurt, but was sinking in. Zuko had lots to consider now, as well as much to learn. "Where do we begin?" he asked with great seriousness.

Mu-Tan: "I have set into the works the first round of messages. Now we need to scope out the territory and I need to teach you how to be a stand-in Silver Circle as you are not yet ready, but will have to be at her side as she trusts only you. I will continue your training in this if you wish after the rite. Are you sure you want to walk this path? Remember what I said about choice?"

Zuko lowered his head remembering. If he never became heir and thus king, it was ok. But if by chance he did, he would have to choose between Faelin and rulership of the Fire Nation. Can he do that? He could marry her. That was a solution to that problem, but would she? Could she? Not in the situation she was in now. He sighed as he stressed internally about all this. "I understand that I might have to make that choice. But… I…" He looked Mu-Tan in the eye and he took a deep breath. "I need something… a goal… a reason… I need to be working toward something. I need… purpose," he confessed.

Mu-Tan nodded. "I will prepare materials and lay out the plan for our scouting. I ask that you assist me in cleaning the dojo and readying it for today's classes if you have the time."

"I'll make the time," said Zuko. He remembered he also had to go get Ty-min today, too. And go see his uncle and help pack there, too. "I'll clean now and then head out. I'll be back with Ty-min for the classes."

Mu-Tan gave Zuko another short nod and headed off to summon other people and sort through maps and paperwork. Zuko fetched the cleaning supplies and scrubbed down the whole dojo and changing rooms. It allowed him to be distracted and yet not. He had something to focus on and yet his mind had some freedom to sort through the past three days. There was a great deal of decisions to make. How would he fit in working, learning at the dojo, learning to be Silver Circle, help his uncle with the new tea shop, and protect Faelin at night? Although, really, not much happened at night and he did more just keeping her company and chasing off night terrors. He got a little lost in his thoughts and tipped the bucket over the mats. He cursed aloud for a few moments and he rushed for towels. Then he froze. He had been getting really good at some new and very subtle ways of firebending. He glanced around and dropped into a meditative kneeling position in the center of the dojo. Slowly he heated the air and dried the mats. He was smiling proudly at himself when he suddenly saw all the condensation on the mirrors and cursed again. "Back to scrubbing the old fashioned way," he groaned.

It took Zuko the better part of the morning and early afternoon to clean the dojo. Ling and Mu-Tan came and helped to free him up for his other daily responsibilities. He headed home to see his uncle. Iroh was just getting in from his trip to the Upper Ring.

"NEPHEW!" cried Iroh and he hugged his nephew. "I have missed you!"

Zuko pried himself loose awkwardly at this public display of affection from his uncle and whispered, "I missed you too."

Iroh made them some lunch and tea as Zuko set down his travel pack from the dojo. Iroh then described the new location of the tea shop. "It will be three floors! The top floor is a general living space and kitchen. The second floor is sleeping rooms AND a bathing room with a water pump that works all the way to that floor. There will be no need to go clean the privy either as you can flush the waste into a filtration system. It is brilliant! And the main floor has an indoor and outdoor terrace. It is huge, nephew! And we are being given the funds to finfish it and supply it. There will be hired help available as soon as we are set up. Our benefactor will take a percentage out weekly till the debt is paid and has requested that he have exclusive free tea whenever he comes by with his family. I think that is more than reasonable. And I have decided to call it the Jasmine Dragon Tea Shop. I will head out this evening to make arrangements for those exquisite Jasmine Pearls and Dragon Tears from the jasmine herbal supplier here."

Zuko could barely keep up with his uncle's excitement. "That's… um… wonderful, Uncle." He looked at his plate knowing he really wasn't as excited as his uncle. He had so much tying him here and so much pulling him about royal duty. He could not keep from thinking about what Mu-Tan said about choice. Nor could he forget what his uncle had said about choice the first time this new tea shop was brought up. What did Zuko really want out of life? He had to make choices. These were frustrating complicated choices. He poked and stabbed and pushed his noodles around the bowl with his chop sticks. "I'll help pack, and… um… set up. But, I have things here I need to do, too."

"How was your time at the dojo?" Iroh asked. "Did you get a lot done? Did you have a good time with Faelin?" He could not resist a grin, especially when Zuko went red to his ears and wished he could drown in his bowl of noodles. "I will have tea with Mu-Tan and see if maybe we can arrange that you spend half the week here with him at the dojo and half the week with me at the Jasmine Dragon."

Zuko's head came up with a stunned look. It was a brilliant idea! He could work at the tea shop and help out at the dojo. When he was here at the dojo, he could see Faelin. When he was at the tea shop, he could earn some good money, even if he hated it. It will do till he could figure things out. Sometimes his uncle was so sensitive to Zuko's inner desires and so very brilliant. "That is a good idea, Uncle! Thank you!" He then ate his noodles feeling better about the day.

Iroh: "This apartment is already paid up till the end of the month. So you can stay here and help me establish suppliers till then."

Zuko relaxed as they discussed how they would arrange things and what would move out when. The afternoon flew by and Zuko had to run to meet up with Ty-min on time.

Walking down the full market street, wary of pickpockets on such a busy day, Zuko tried to relax. He was going to see Ty-Min and the thought of her, made him smile. The thought of her talking non-stop the entire walk back from the tram station to the dojo, made him pause. With only a few minuets to spare, his mind raced with how he could distract her. His introspective mood today wasn't looking forward to her incessant chatting. With an inward grin he spotted a fruit vendor.

Apple in hand, he polished the large red fruit while standing on the huge platform. As the train rushed to a stop, Ty-Min bounded out. "Yeah! Lee!" she squealed. Bracing himself for the jarring of her against his legs, he waved goodbye to her adopted aunt, and looked down at her, with a smile. Ty-Min's boundless energy and engaging laughter always seemed to touch his heart with warmth.

Dropping to his knee he brandished the shiny fruit, catching her attention. "I brought you an apple, Ty-Min." Her eyes widened in delight and her small mouth formed an Oh. Using both hands, she accepted the proffered fruit and an offered back an excited "Thank you!" She quickly took a large wet bite of the fruit and the juice ran down her chin. Zuko thought smugly to himself how brilliant he was to bring the fruit to ensure a quieter walk.

He'd never been so wrong.

They were hardly on the stairs leading down from the platform before Ty-Min began her tirade in her light voice. "So how is Faelin? She is so pretty. I love her red hair. I wish I had red hair. Can I see her? I can't wait for class. I've been practicing. Wait until you see. That big black-haired boy with the big mouth is gonna eat mat! I've got my footwork all worked out now. Do you like apples Lee? I sure do. Not as much as peaches but…"

Zuko just walked on in amazement. Watching her eat, skip and chat all at the same time was exhausting. His own mother's words came back to him. "Ty-Min," he gruffly said. "We don't talk with our mouths full, it's impolite." Shucking her head in embarrassment, she nodded and fell silent. With renewed vigor she tore into the apple.

The icy winter wind whipped down the street, threading between people as easily as it went through the single layer of the urchin's clothing. As Zuko watched a street youth blow on his hands, Zuko turned and looked down at Ty-Min who was comfortable in the winter cold with her multiple layers and new shoes. Grateful that she no longer had to go without, he rested a hand on her shoulder. Feeling forgiven for her social mistake, she grinned up at him in response.

"Ty-Min! You lost a tooth!" he exclaimed.

She quickly shot a hand to her mouth. Then they both looked down at the apple in her hands and lo and behold there it was, stuck firmly in the fruit. "Oh, oh what do I do?" she wailed. "My tooth! Its broken! How will I eat? The kids will make fun of me." And the tears began to race down her face.

Zuko knelt and gently took her into his arms "Ty-Min, its ok, this happens all the time. It just means you are getting older." Sniffling she wiped her face and nose with her sleeve, while Zuko winced in an attempt at hiding his disgust. Fishing for the cloth he kept in his sleeve, he handed it to Ty-Min and helped her to wipe her face.

"So this happens to everyone?" she asked. Nodding he pulled the tooth loose and gently placed the tiny tooth onto the cloth for her to see. Fascinated she poked at it. "There's no blood." She was amazed. "Is that why I didn't feel it?"

"I suppose" was his answer as he wrapped it back into the cloth, offering it to her to keep.

She ignored the tooth for the moment and instead asked, "Did you lose your teeth?"

Zuko: "Yes."

Ty-min: "Did it hurt?"

Zuko: "Not really."

With the innocent eyes of a child, she looked at his scar. Hesitantly she reached her small hand out and touched it. "That hurt."

"Yes," he whispered.

With a small nod she reached over and kissed his injured eyelid. "That's what my mommy always did to my booboo's." She reached for the little cloth and tucked it into her sleeve. "I can't wait to show everyone. Do you think I look like a pirate now? I bet I look really mean. I'm going to scare that big boy in class…" and with that, she was off skipping down the road again, while Zuko was left struggling to regain his mental balance.

As Zuko hurried to catch up with her, he began to worry that with the move to the new tea shop he'd have trouble taking Ty-Min to classes at the dojo. Looking down into her clear green eyes, he knew he'd have to figure something out. He really looked forward to this time with her and was still plagued about her future.

With a gap-toothed grin she turned to Zuko and again started with her barrage of talking. "Just wait until the other kids see me now. Now that I'm a big kid. Lee, how come you don't like tea? I love tea! When I grow up I want to work at a tea shop, just like you! Your Uncle makes the best tea, don't you think?"

Zuko looked heavenward in a silent plea and then continued on, guiding his small charge beside him through the crowd, hoping the dojo was close.

-----

After leaving Ling in charge of the class and some quiet instructions for Zuko, Mu-Tan headed over to the Job Centre to meet with Bao-Li. Together, they met with each of the people they needed for their network on the Winter Solstice. The chill darkness offered them good cover. On their way back later in the night, they huddled in a nook between two buildings.

Bao-Li complained, "This is wretched cold for us. We are not supposed to have winter. Just rain and more rain. The sky practically looks steel and ominous."

Mu-Tan had to agree. "I think we will get snow. I was talking with a predictor the other day. She said something about a ball of fire in the sky after the sun gets blotted out. These she said are what we can expect from snow in Ba Sing Se. I think we are going to see another comet like in Sozen's time. The world is falling out of balance."

Bao-Li nodded gravely. "Then I am glad the priestess agreed to do the rite. I am still not comfortable with your chosen apprentice, but you are the better judge of him."

Mu-Tan: "He will serve his purpose. He will be her guardian and has already been acting the part for a few months now. It is about time he got proper training."

Bao-Li: "But he cannot not be trained in two days! Will he be able to do this?"

Mu-Tan: "That is why we will be the circle below him and this network we create will be our safety net. The Dai Li are our biggest concern next to the angry spirits."

Bao-Li: "And after? Will your apprentice be able to go through the trials? Will the priestess be able to lead him with you? He seems so… brash and emotionally… um… like a swinging pendulum. Not at all balanced. Will he be able to handle it? I don't want to have to clean up the mess after. Remember Ling's failure with his daughter and the other apprentice? That was one hell of a mess. And Kozue was never the same."

Mu-Tan: "He can do it. He is more balanced than you think. And… he already is bound to Faelin in many ways. It will works out. Shh shh… Dai Li…"

They froze and held their breath as a Dai Li agent passed nearby. Then they slipped into a different nook and pulled themselves onto the rooftops to finish making their way back to their respective lodgings. Mu-Tan hoped that Ling and Zuko were carrying out their appointed tasks. He would have to explain to Zuko his reasoning when he returned. Zuko would never let something like this slide without a VERY good explanation.

-----

The return walk back to the station was just as busy as the first, as Zuko kept up with Ty-Min, who danced alongside him chittering the whole time about how she was successful in pinning the black-haired boy from class. At the platform, Zuko knelt, allowed Ty-Min to hug him and peck his cheek, waved good-bye and watched the tram pull away feeling the small sense of loss he always felt at her departure, yet welcoming the following quiet.

Weaving his way back down the dirty, muddy market street, Zuko quickly scooped up a packet of spicy FireFlakes from a vendor. The brisk winter wind ruffled his hair, making him wonder if it was long enough yet to start pulling it back again into a tail or knot. The heat from the flakes bit pleasantly at his tongue. The recipe was good, but wasn't the same as the ones back home. Home, with a sigh he brushed the thoughts away as easily as the icy wind scuttled the leaves down the road. Zuko munched on his snack while he walked, awaiting the appearance of the dojo sign.

As he entered he allowed himself a moment for his eyes to adjust as he slipped off his shoes. With a sweeping glance Zuko took in that Mu-Tan was standing near the entrance in conversation with Ling, while Travahar meditated on the mats. Mu-Tan and Ling parted, and as Mu-Tan moved to pass by Zuko he leaned in casually and whispered. Zuko's eyes widened for a moment and then Zuko gave a curt nod in understanding. Mu-Tan reading the acknowledgement in Zuko's face, clapped the young man on the shoulder and then was off. Feigning interest in his shoes for another moment Zuko stole another glance at Travahar, and the flame of competition suddenly began to burn bright.

Once in the changing room, Zuko carefully tied his pant strings and bent to wrap the bottoms around his ankles, but as he went to don his shirt, he paused, remembering that for some reason Travahar was also shirtless today. Flashbacks of their last match where both men had used grips on each others uniforms for leverage, suddenly decided Zuko on the matter and he left off with the top.

Bowing deeply before stepping onto the mats, Zuko took his place beside Travahar and faced Ling. Almost as one the men began to move through their stretches and then into their forms. Zuko could feel his muscles beginning to warm as the anticipation of controlled combat began to build.

As the forms ended and Ling led the two trainees into more advanced exercises, Zuko's mind began to race, as he once again analyzed the differences between him and Travahar. And once again, found himself coming up just short in height and muscle, but with speed on his side. Focusing his breathing and thoughts inward, he used this time while his body was physically strained again and again in repetitive motions, to let his mind wander, separating his thoughts from the here and now, so as not to notice the pain from the continued exertions. As the time drew near, he could feel the flames of adrenalin begin to surge through him.

Moving into position across from Travahar, Zuko wind milled his arms willing them to loosen, to give him the extra reach he would need. Travahar cracked his neck from side to side and drilled his eyes in Zuko's. Both men slowed their breathing, shut down their minds, released the adrenalin to surge throughout their bodies, grabbed hold within themselves for their fighting spirit and awaited the word that would release them.

Ling waited patiently as the dragons took up their fighting stances. "Spar!" Rang out loudly.

Without thinking Zuko reacted, with a jump forward kick he aimed for Travahar's chest, shooting both his fists down in order to gain maximum forward momentum. Travahar leaned to the right and threw up both his arms in an x block, forcing Zuko to the side. Landing quickly Zuko shot his left heel back at Travahar's face, which Travahar again blocked, using his right forearm to bat Zuko's foot away. Keeping up his assault, Zuko allowed his momentum to be carried onto his left foot and kept moving, bringing his right foot up in a double back roundhouse kick. Catching Travahar's forearm side block with his heel, Zuko twisted his hips, bringing all his strength into it, forcing Travahar to move back a step. Following his momentum in with a quick succession of forward punches, Travahar answered in kind with his own fast combination of blocks. The two quickly exchanged alternating punches, palm strikes, fist and elbow blocks. Zuko's speed finally caught Travahar, and the green dragon had to back off.

Having to give ground didn't sit well with Travahar; he scowled and lowered his head a bit. Allowing his defense to relax slightly, he let Zuko come close again and as both men came together there was a sickening crunch as they both landed punches on the other. Zuko reeled away feeling Travahar's power.

Ling separated them both, using a seasoned eye to examine them quickly and then allowed them to continue.

The heaving young dragons circled one another as the adrenalin coursed through them, blocking the pain from what would surely hurt tomorrow. As Travahar circled left, Zuko danced. On the balls of his feet, Zuko quickly switched his stance as he saw Travahar lunge forward. Setting himself low, Zuko went under Travahar's double fist assault, allowing himself to be clipped on the shoulder in order to stay his position. Rising quickly Zuko brought his arms together and then flung them out in an open block, raising his knee at the same time and connecting squarely with Travahar's solar plexus. Travahar gasped as he was suddenly unable to breathe.

Ling again stepped in, and after a minute, allowed the earth to again face the fire.

Sweat poured from them both as they spent a minute circling and feinting at each other. With a loud cry Zuko leaped forward and to the right side bringing his left foot around in a roundhouse kick aimed for Travahar's head. Travahar absorbed the blow by angling his head to the side and punched at Zuko's leg hard enough to hurtle the fire dragon across the mats in a side skid. Following up on his advantage, Travahar fell forward using his momentum and gravity to bring all the strength and speed he was capable of. In an arc his head went down while his feet flew over his head, aiming his flip roll to plant his heel squarely onto Zuko's ribs. With only time for half a forearm block, Zuko felt the kick jar his arm all the way up his shoulder. The pain shot through Zuko as he quickly flipped back to his feet. Spinning away sideways from Zuko, the green dragon turned, to again fall onto his prey, only to find the fire dragon, standing, glaring with fire in his eyes.

Again the two circled only an arms length away from each other, but this time Zuko kept his left side slightly angled towards Travahar, trying to give his right arm time to recover feeling. Realizing he didn't have the strength in his arm to combat Travahar, Zuko settled himself into a firm side stance and waited for Travahar to make his move. As Travahar charged, Zuko dropped even lower and pivoted on his left foot striking down to the mats with both arms as he shot his right leg into Travahar's ribs. It happened so fast, that Travahar didn't even see Zuko pivot before he felt the pain explode in his chest. The three point stance provided such strength that Zuko could feel as well as hear Travahar's rib crack.

As Travahar laid on the mats clutching his side, he bit his lower lip till it bled, fighting the pain. He spat blood on the mats and gulped air. Zuko turned and kneeled with his back to Travahar as was respectful, to allow the other fighter time to recover or the master to call an end. Zuko could hear Ling quietly whispering questions to Travahar and receiving grunts in reply. Zuko cradled his sore arm as Mu-Tan's words echoed through his head. _You need to disable Travahar in practice today, same rules still apply, but he needs to be sent home in a condition requiring a few days in bed recovering. Understood? _Zuko sighed as he heard Ling instructing Travahar to go home and rest, confirming that Zuko had indeed been successful in the orders given to him.

Ling gave Zuko a stern disapproving glare as he helped Travahar to the bench. Then Ling stepped out and called for a cart. Shamed, Zuko walked up to Travahar. "I'm sorry." Travahar gave a friendly smile through his pain. He would have spoken his forgiveness, but it hurt too much. He raises his hand and patted Zuko's arm. Ling returned and aided Travahar into the cart and escorted him home with instructions for Zuko to clean up. Mu-Tan was just walking up the street to the dojo and the cart with the Ling and the injured Travahar passed him. Ling and Mu-Tan nodded to one another. Mu-Tan closed the door to the dojo behind him.

With Travahar safely bedridden for the next few days, Mu-Tan no longer had to worry about the foolish prince being out on the streets on Winter Solstice at risk of being targeted by the angry spirits of Ba Sing Se. Zuko was angry, angry to have been used. After explaining that an injury now was better than Travahar losing his life, Zuko at least understood. He didn't like it, but he understood. Zuko had proffered Travahar a quiet apology and was amazed that it had been graciously accepted. Zuko had bowed as Travahar was helped out by Ling and assisted home by cart. And now, Mu-Tan and Zuko could discuss other matters.

"Zuko," began Mu-Tan.

Zuko clenched his teeth and spoke firmly through them, "no… not now."

Mu-Tan: "We need to talk though. You need training before the rites."

Zuko sighed a big frustrated sigh and marched into the changing rooms. There he peeled off his sweat-soaked clothing and eased into the bathing tub. Part of him took pleasure in injuring the cocky Travahar. Part of him felt like he had betrayed a trust that was so newly gained. Part of him hated having been used. Part of him was extremely relieved that this one act ensured Travahar's life. There was just no black and white anymore. Everything was shades of grey. He sunk down into the tub letting the water swirl over his head. It was cool, almost brisk, yet Zuko could heat it. He came up for air and heated the water to allow it to soothe his aching muscles. Sparring with Travahar was always a challenge, an exhilarating challenge. They knew each other to be exiled royalty and respected one another as such. It was an odd friendship they were building, if that is what you could call it. Though now, Zuko had injured him on purpose. Would that change things? He promised himself that after the rite, he would apologize better and explain to Travahar that it was on purpose and why. Feeling better about that decision and for having soaked away the sweat and aches, Zuko come out into the chill air. He dipped his fingers into the wide-mouthed jar of salve in the changing room and rubbed it into the worst of his bruises and onto the muscles that would likely complain the most tomorrow. The sharp scent of the Tiger Balm seeping into him was relaxing. It gave a sense of chilling and heating at the same time. Then he dressed into his clean clothes.

Zuko came back to the dojo feeling better in control of his emotions. Mu-Tan was inwardly impressed and pleased to see that Zuko was a better judge of himself and was able to curb his outbursts more constructively. Zuko knelt into the meditation pose in the middle of the dojo floor and just breathed calmly. Mu-Tan joined him, kneeling down to face Zuko. They allowed the silence to bring peace and quiet to the noisy corners of their minds.

They agreed to spend the entirety of the next day discussing what was needed for the rite. Not tonight, though, Zuko was not in a mindset whereby he felt he could retain anything clearly. He rose from the meditation and scrubbed the blood off the mats, Travahar's blood.

Then he headed out to meet up with Faelin. They walked a bit as she murmured the words to the song and struggled to remember the tune quietly. Zuko snuck her off to the Fountain of Lights. There they huddled together and he played the tune on his flute for her. Notes were so much easier to remember than dates or facts. She explained to him about the Dai Li inspections and the coming vacation rounds. It was crazy in the lower ring with the inspections. He escorted Faelin to a corner not far from the red lantern house where she stayed. Then he returned to the dojo to change into darker clothing for the night.

Fong's gang had been so scarce lately. Zuko wondered why. Maybe they were taken care of. His uncle said that he had made arrangements for it.

As he entered the dojo, a Dai Li agent demanded for him to identify himself. There were six of them in the dojo, on the mats with their boots even! Zuko looked to Mu-Tan and back at the Dai Li agent before him in silence. In his mind, he weighed the odds. They were not good. Six trained earthbenders ready to steal you away into oblivion and brainwashing or death were definitely not good odds. Mu-Tan raised a hand. "That is my student, Lee. He comes to help set things up for the next day's class." The agent let Zuko pass. He took the cue and went about arranging the changing rooms and folding the now dry uniforms from the drying lines.

So, the Dai Li inspect not just the red lantern houses. Zuko wondered how Mu-Tan was going to hide other things. He had to trust that there was no danger. He heard the Dai Li agents upstairs and even in the basement. One laughed at the "silly ring in the dragon's mouth on the tapestry by the door" and Zuko ground his teeth hoping they would leave soon. How they could disgrace so many things in so little time was appalling, and they were supposed to be the ones to uphold culture here in the city. A Dai Li agent noticed Zuko's growing angry expression and approached him. "Is there a problem, refugee?"

Mu-Tan inwardly cringed at Zuko's instant reply. "Yes. There is a problem."

The Dai Li agent was a bit surprised. He didn't expect anyone in the Lower Ring to stand against him, especially when there were five other Dai Li agents close at hand. For the briefest moment he worried. Was this young man an earthbender? Was he a master in this dojo with Sifu Mu-Tan. Some of the best Dai Li had trained here. But, Mu-Tan never stood against the Dai Li before. No, the young man was a student, but students could be dangerous too. A glance at Mu-Tan told this agent that even Mu-Tan was uncertain what would happen. It also told him that Mu-Tan would not interfere to help either. That could not be good. Oh how he hated these peasants and refugees. "Back to work, refugee."

Zuko spoke in a deep stern voice full of royal authority. "I am no refugee. I am Lee, honorable nephew of Tea Master Mushi, owner of the Jasmine Dragon Tea Shop from the Upper Ring. You insult this humble dojo with your disrespect of dojo etiquette which any Dai Li had been trained to know and you insult me with your assumptions. If you are done with your disrespectful means of inspecting this dojo, I ask you to leave." He made a fist with his right hand and slowly placed it into the palm of his left hand in front of his chest. Then he gave the Dai Li agent the slightest of dismissive bows, the kind a great lord or royalty gives to a lowly warrior. His face as was mask of sternness indicating that he was like an unmovable rock if the Dai Li dared to challenge him. He kept his feet in a sturdy stance as Travahar has done to him when Travahar would admonish him for whatever reason Travahar felt had insulted his royal pride. This agent was obviously off balance internally by this sudden turn of events.

Mu-Tan almost smiled at the display before him and the other Dai Li agents shifting uncomfortably as they too watched. The agent in front of Zuko turned his head to the other agents who indicated that all was in order. With a sour look, he returned the bow to Zuko and then to Mu-Tan and they all left.

The moment the door closed and they were gone, Zuko blew on his palms to cool them. That was close. He was already in a bad mood for a variety of reasons. This could have turned ugly very fast. Mu-Tan came over and patted Zuko on the shoulder, wearing one of those remarkably proud looks that always lifted Zuko out of a slump. "That," Mu-Tan said proudly, "was very impressive. Nicely done!" Zuko could not help but smile proudly back.


	36. Chapter 36: Winter Solstice

**_Chapter 36: Winter Solstice_**

Zuko came home at almost dawn. He had been up with Faelin, helping her with the song as quietly as possible, then reassuring her that he would be there to ensure her safety and reassuring her that he was ready. When he left, he had to walk around for a long time to get rid of his own stress as he knew he was not ready. He had today to become ready. Tomorrow at sunset, He would go get Faelin and bring her to the tree. That was just a little over 24 hours from now. He fell asleep on his bed mat in the hut with all his clothes still on. Zuko heard, vaguely heard, voices in the other room, but he ignored them in favor of blissful oblivion.

The two old dragons debated and discussed organization for the coming Solstice. Iroh warned Mu-Tan that firebending would be out of the question unless Zuko were truly in danger. He also warned that firebending during the Winter Solstice was very difficult. It was an all time low for firebenders, much like the dark moon was an all time low for waterbenders. It was understood. Mu-Tan advised Iroh of the traditions here in Ba Sing Se that safe-guarded houses and the people in them. He handed Iroh a small package.

"So, my nephew has chosen to walk your path? Part of me is not surprised. I am however concerned. He IS the heir of the Fire Nation. He will have to face that at some point. And then he will be forced to make a choice. I had hoped he would never have to be faced with such a difficult choice." Iroh was glad his nephew was in love. He was also glad his nephew had some direction. "And what about now? He has immediate choices he has to make. Choices about living until such time as he is faced with the bigger ones. He needs a job and a place to live. I am not giving him up so easily, especially into nothing. Training will not pay the rent nor put food on the table."

"I understand," was Mu-Tan's serious tone. "He does want and need training. I have a room in the dojo I can offer him whenever he needs. There is also a martial arts competition three weeks after the Winter Solstice. If he wins, that is a large pot of funds for him to do with as he pleases. And I expect him to win. I was also considering having him assist with teaching. He is remarkably good with the younger ones. I could pay him."

Iroh was pleased how this was working out. He mulled things over in his mind as he sipped his tea. "I too need my nephew. I am opening up a new Tea Shop in the Upper Ring. I need him to help me set up and to help in running it. I cannot do it alone." Family commitment was still important.

Mu-Tan had to concede to that need. He understood what difficulty it was to set up a new business. He himself would not have been able to set up the dojo without the help of both Ling and Bao-Li. "Let me offer this then. Since he will want to be close to Faelin, I will offer him the room above the dojo four days a week. He can work in the dojo for his room and board. While there, I will ensure he has food and clothing and anything else he may need, including a small allowance. He can be with you three days a week to help with the Tea Shop."

Iroh: "Three days?! He is MY nephew! Who decrees you can have him longer than I?"

Iroh's indignant shout woke Zuko who opened the door with great annoyance and shouted back. "It is MY life and I want to be here four days a week. Now shut up and let me sleep!" He slammed the door and threw himself back onto the bed mat pulling the pillow over his head to try to drown the old dragons out.

Iroh and Mu-Tan finished their tea in silence. They bowed to one another as Mu-Tan left. Iroh smiled to himself. _Yes, that worked out even better than planned. Zuko will even get paid! And… Zuko is good at teaching?_ Iroh was pleased to know that Zuko was remarkably good with kids, but never considered that Zuko might be good at teaching. He didn't really need Zuko at the Tea Shop once it was set up. He already had plenty of employees. He just didn't want to give up this boy so soon to manhood. He sighed. All boys do eventually grow up into men and go out on their own. He remembered Zuko at the tender age of ten bravely walking the hot coals to leave behind childhood stage and enter into teenhood on his way to training for adulthood. He sniffed and wiped a tear. His Zuko. He went into his room to pack more.

-----

After Zuko finished packing the apartment, everything that was not his or was not going to be needed for the next few weeks, he headed over to the dojo. It was just after lunch and his stomach was twisting into knots already.

Zuko meditated in the dojo waiting for Mu-Tan. He alternated from the walking meditation to the kneeling one to working through some katas to kneeling again. His stomach threatened to eject his brunch. All he could think of was standing between a huge angry spirit and Faelin with the Dai Li creeping up behind. He remembered the angry Ocean Spirit from the North Pole. What could he do in the face of that?! He leaned forward and rested his brow on the tatami mats. After taking a few breaths, he sat up again. He swallowed a few times and then gave up. He walked out back and released his brunch. He knew he should have eaten lighter. He washed up in the changing room and drank some water. Mu-Tan entered as Zuko was kneeling once again into his meditation. "Are you ready, apprentice?" Mu-Tan came over to join him. Relieved that Mu-Tan had not witnessed his moment of weakness, Zuko nodded.

Mu-Tan asked, "What do you remember of the teachings of the elements?"

Zuko: "There are actually five elements. The four, earth, air, fire, and water bound together by ch'i or spirit."

Mu-Tan: "Good. Now, tell me what you know of the roles or priests and priestesses."

Zuko thought. "They lead the rites of passage, birth, naming, puberty, adulthood, marriage… um… separation… and death." He frowned realizing he never did the rite of manhood for the Fire Nation boys becoming men. Did it matter? "I… I haven't been through the rite of manhood. I know it doesn't really matter. One becomes a man anyways. But…"

Mu-Tan saw where this was leading. "We will take care of that after the Winter Solstice. There are several trials you need to go through, we will ensure you can first be recognized by the spirits as a man in their eyes. I promise." He spoke as a father would reassuringly with his hands on Zuko's shoulders. Earth Nation boys had their own rites, he made mental note to talk to Iroh on this matter soon. "Now, what else does a priest or priestess do?"

Zuko: "The lead the seasonal rites and communicate with the spirit world."

Mu-Tan: "They also guide lost spirits back to their proper places, including ones sick body. And, they aid in the rites of ancestors and household spirits. They bend spirit energy, ch'i and can step into the spirit world."

Zuko shuddered. He already knew what that felt like and didn't care to experience it a third time.

Mu-Tan: "And if need be, they teach this to the avatar."

Zuko's head snapped up.

Mu-Tan: "Although, I have it on good authority that the avatar has found a guru, someone like Faelin to teach him. We need not put her at risk of exposure."

Zuko as not sure suddenly which he preferred. With a little more thought, he concluded that the avatar did not mean as much to him as Faelin did. But, he was not sure what he would do if he had to come face to face with the avatar again. He did not want that to be soon.

Zuko: "Why tell me all this?"

Mu-Tan ignored Zuko's question for the moment. "Tell me what the duties are of a member of the Silver Circle."

Mildly annoyed to have his question ignored, he replied, "Under vows, to protect a person, place or thing that is regarded as sacred. Does the avatar have such guardians as he grows up? Is he even considered sacred like a priest? And why are we discussing the avatar?"

Mu-Tan smiled at Zuko's persistence. "Usually the avatar has guides and guardians and teachers. At least until he has mastered all four elements and mastered his role as bridge to the spirit world. He is like Silver Circle, but for the world."

Zuko frowned at this new bit of information. He never thought of the avatar like that. "So it is his duty then to protect the world and keep it in balance."

Mu-Tan nodded. "And he comes only in times of greatest need, when the world is at risk of being thrown out of balance by foolish people bent on its destruction intentionally or by happenstance in their greed for power."

Zuko had a lot to think about now. But, how did all this pertain to his understanding of what to do tomorrow night? "So, why are we discussing the avatar?"

Mu-Tan: "Because there is little difference between you and him. You are both Silver Circle, bound to protect a charge. And as such, your training is very similar. As the avatar learns to master the four elements, so too do you come to learn the four elements, though not as a bender. As a bender, you will discover new ways to use the moves of other nations to bend your element in new creative ways."

Zuko was suddenly reminded of the lightening evasion technique his uncle taught him. It was a move his uncle learned from the waterbenders and thus discovered a firebending technique with it. He suddenly wondered how much more any bender could do knowing the moves of all other nations. Was that what a single nation of people would be like, if hypothetically all the nations were brought together? That seemed impossible. But looking around the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se, he could see how all four nations could perhaps one day work together. _Stupid war._

Mu-Tan waited why Zuko digested this information before continuing. "When someone is raised Silver Circle, they learn these techniques growing up. Someone like you has much to learn coming into it at your age. And normally, we would turn you away and say you are too old for training. But you have already been chosen. By her. And… by me."

Zuko bowed low in his kneeling position. It was a great honor to be chosen. He hoped he never let them down. He had failed in many things, failed many people. This, this was too important. He prayed that his ancestors would favor him and give him strength.

Mu-Tan went on. "The training of Silver Circle starts with the trials or rites of the chakras. Once ready, once you have learned from all four nations and all four elements, then you will learn the meditation techniques that help you focus on many things at once and how to use the energy of the chakras to push you through to do what you need to in order to do your duty."

Zuko looked confused. "The what? The trials of the what?"

Mu-Tan sighed patiently. "The trials of the chakras. There are seven chakras in the body. They are like pools or wheels of light within us that swirl and spin in creative or destructive patterns. They can spin fast or slow. They can be clogged and muddied by our life's experiences. They can be shut down, killing us. They can be opened wide as in the trials. Many people have their chakras opened all at different widths and spinning haphazardly, some closed and some wide open. Yours were recently balanced to save your life. But they were only set to spin low to keep you alive and allow you to sort through your own life's muck."

Zuko's fever. He remembered. "Faelin. She did that?"

Mu-Tan nodded. "The trials for Silver Circle are the opening of the chakras and the facing of the muck that has accumulated there. This is the same training as the avatar. He cannot control his connection to the spirit world without this training. A Silver Circle guardian cannot fully understand his charge without this experience and achievement of perfect balance."

Zuko: "Ok. How long does this take?"

Mu-Tan: "Normally, one year per chakra."

Zuko suddenly stood. "WHAT?! I don't have that kind of time! None of us do!"

Mu-Tan gently took Zuko's wrist and pulled him back down to the kneeling pose. "I know. We all know. It can be done at a faster pace… but not in one day. And it is very hard on the body, mind and soul. It also has to be done with the guidance of a priestess, priest or guru… a spirit bender. Otherwise, otherwise the consequences of a mishap could be… unpredictable and possibly deadly."

Understanding the gravity of the situation, Zuko took a deep breath. He could die in these trials. Then who would protect Faelin. "What do I need to know for tomorrow night?"

Mu-Tan explained where everyone in the safety net would be and where the current Silver Circle members would be. Later he would walk the area with Zuko. So began an intensive workout of meditation and focus, some blind fighting techniques and learning about the Earth Nation religious ceremonies and practices. _Ugh…_ was all Zuko could think. It was like a history lessons. He could not retain one thing from another. That also made him very frustrated. Mu-Tan was seeing that. Zuko is a doer not a book learner. Ling and Bao-Li were coming in with a bunch of the homeless and started settling them on the dojo mats with blankets. The dojo, Mu-Tan explained, became a shelter over the Winter Solstice, to protect the people from the angry spirits. Ling and Bao-Li would ensure these people had meals for the next couple days to see them through the dark time.

When Zuko and Mu-Tan stepped outside, Zuko noticed Mu-Tan had picked up a box by the door and indicated that Zuko carry the other. Mu-Tan reached inside one box and pulled something red and green out. It was a garland of prickly green leaves. There was a mountain pine cone and holly berries and some mistletoe wrapped with a simple cotton string. This Mu-Tan hung from the front door. "It is to remind the spirits who still honor them. We will deliver these to the folks I know cannot afford them." That is what they did as they walked around the Lower Ring. Mu-Tan also pointed out the locations of the network discreetly as the walked. Zuko was drawing a mental map with mental pins. They politely nodded to Dai Li agents as they passed. Zuko placed mental pins on regular Dai Li patrol locations, too.

Zuko felt ready for the rite by the end of the tour. He just didn't feel ready to face angry spirits. Mu-Tan said that Faelin would have to explain how to handle that. Zuko's stomach twisted a bit again. He wasn't exactly afraid, just not sure what to do if he had to protect Faelin from an angry spirit. He really hoped it would not come to that. That night he and Faelin just held each other as long as was safely possible without being discovered. He silently prayed that nothing happened to her and that he would be strong enough to protect her. She said it was all in the spirit. Without full formal training, he would have to simply stand his ground and WILL the spirits to stay at bay. This did not help Zuko. She reassured him that she was joking. He would have to pay close attention to her. She would likely need his support. He was not sure what that meant. But if she was going to be doing what she did when she pulled him into ghost form and pushed him through a wall, then he would have to catch her when she fell and carry her home, and still keep out of site of Dai Li and that sumo guard. That was going to be more difficult. This all had to happen without them knowing.

The next day, Iroh embraced his nephew. Then he set candles in the lanterns and set them on the main room table for a fire vigil of his own with a small shrine to his own son now passed on. The garland that Mu-Tan gave him, he had put on the front door as instructed. The businesses all locked up at noon. Very few people were out on the streets and just the occasional Dai Li agent patrolling. Zuko headed over to the dojo. It was packed full of people. It made Zuko a bit uncomfortable and he headed upstairs to meditate in his room. He dressed in his dark clothes, checked his twin blades to be sure they were sharp and in good condition. He ate light remembering how his knotted stomach reacted yesterday. He had to trust that everyone would do their part. They trusted he would do his. The sky dimmed and Zuko crept out to steal Faelin from her duties.

As he crept through the streets, he could feel the change in the air. It was as if Faelin were bending him partly into a ghost. It set him a little on edge. The shadows seemed to move on their own and he constantly heard the barest of whispers. He had been advised to ignore everything and do his appointed tasks. To give too much attention to the strange goings on could have him lost to the spirit world forever. Good thing Zuko was a very goal-oriented young man and not easily distracted.

He spotted one of Fong's minions loitering on a corner. The shadows enveloped him and the scream he made was cut short very quickly. The corner of Zuko's mouth twitched up and he moved onward. The fool must have been both new to Fong and new to Ba Sing Se. The shadows caressed Zuko's cheek but he ignored them. He slipped into Faelin's room through the storage room door that was left ajar for him. He patted his pocket to make sure he remembered his flute and the scroll with the song in case Faelin could not remember the tune. Faelin picked up her small sack and then embraced Zuko tightly. She hoped she remembered this ritual well enough. It was so very different from Fire Nation rituals.

They cautiously threaded their way through the streets of the Lower Ring, passing the designated checkpoints that Zuko had on his mental map. As they got farther away from the red lantern district, he could feel Faelin's nervousness in the tight grip she had on his hand. She remembered the beating she got for going to far and worried about another. When the shadows moved around them, she had other things to worry about. She spoke strange words and her tattoos glowed softly. The shadows shrank back from her.

They passed Ling at the base of the hill, and then Mu-Tan as the walked around to the climbable side. The air tingled all around the tree and everything seemed to have a strange shimmer to it. The tree seemed to be a juxtaposition of images, the tree he was used to seeing, a twisted monstrosity that almost moved, a vibrant shimmering force, and a wilted pathetic carcass of a tree. It was a bit unnerving. Instinct made him put is hands on Faelin's shoulders to prevent her from getting too close to the tree. Good thing too, because as she approached, the hideous form of the tree became more dominant and reached for them.

Faelin turned to face Zuko. "Its ok. It won't hurt me. Just stand your ground here as the other spirits can manifest more solidly and might try before I have a circle up." A few feet from the tree she knelt and opened her sack. Se laid a small cloth on the ground and pinned the corners down with four fist sided stones. She had a slate roof tile which she placed in the middle. On it she placed a bowl which she filled with water from a small waterskin, a small dish in which she poured a handful of salt from a pouch, a bowl of sand where she stood three sticks of incense, and a small red candle. In the very center she placed a fruit, a large orange covered with embedded cloves some bread and a small bottle containing some wine.

Then she stood and began to walk a wide circle around the top of the hill. As she did, she sprinkled the salt along her path. With twin blades drawn, Zuko followed her on the outside of the circle. He noticed that the salt shimmered silver. On the outside of the circle the shadows gathered and tried to interfere angrily. He fended them off. He felt like he was one foot in the real world and one foot in the spirit world. When the circle was almost closed, Faelin pulled him inside and closed it. Zuko worried that the silver circle that formed around them would be seen across the city. Faelin was in a strange almost trance as she moved about in the rite speaking with the spirits and making offerings. The tree shifted in form frequently. Her tattoos glowed a strong honey gold. The air within the circle stilled. Silver Circle. Zuko could now see where the name came from. This circle was protection for a ritual or rite. It was a boundary. The shadows and angry ghosts gathered and waited outside it but could not cross it. He sheathed his swords when she asked him to.

Then she paused. He saw she tattoos flicker with uncertainty. He drew out the scroll and handed it to her as she breathed a sigh of relief and smoothly flowed back into the half-trance. She slowly hummed the song to herself. He drew out his flute to help her stay on key and in tune. There was no royalty of Ba Sing Se at the catacombs to echo the song. Faelin hoped it would be enough. Together they created a strong sound that echoed in the spirit world and in the hearts of many in the surrounding area of the real world.

Listen more often to things than to beings  
Listen more often to things than to beings  
Tis the ancestors' breath when the fire's voice is heard  
Tis the ancestors' breath in the voice of the waters  
ah-ah woosh, ah-ah woosh

Those who have died have never left  
The dead are not under the earth  
They are in the rustling trees  
They are in the groaning woods  
They are in the crying grass  
They are in the moaning rocks  
The dead are not under the earth

Listen more often to things than to beings  
Listen more often to things than to beings  
Tis the ancestors' breath when the fire's voice is heard  
Tis the ancestors' breath in the voice of the waters  
ah-ah woosh, ah-ah woosh

Those who have died have never left  
The dead have a pact with the living  
They are in the woman's breast  
They are in the wailing child  
They are with us in our homes  
They are with us in this crowd  
The dead have a pact with the living.

Listen more often to things than to beings  
Listen more often to things than to beings  
Tis the ancestors' breath when the fire's voice is heard  
Tis the ancestors' breath in the voice of the waters  
ah-ah woosh, ah-ah woosh

_("Breaths" by Birago Diop, you can look it up on a variety of websites)_

Nine rounds of the song they sang. Zuko even paused in his own flute playing and added his deep voice to hers for the three middle rounds. The angry ghosts became silent and the shadows faded. The tree shimmered a bright green and the horrifying overlays faded from sight. She thanked the sprits and passed on blessings in the names of all those who could not. She poured the contents of each bowl and plate at the base of the tree. The contents vanished into the spirit world before ever touching the ground. She scuffed the circle into the earth and began to stagger with exhaustion before she could make it all the way around. Zuko had her sit as he finished scuffing out the circle for her. Then he knelt before her calling her name softly. She did not respond as though she could not hear him. Her tattoos still glowed telling him she was still connected to the spirit world. He was unsure what to do. He gathered her in his arms and held her, still softly calling her back to him.

After a long time when the air began to chill his fingers, she wrapped her arms around him. Her tattoos no longer glowed. He looked her in the eyes as she smiled weakly. He kissed her in relief. She could hardly stand. By the time they were halfway down the hill, he had to carry her. Mu-Tan then became their escort back to the district leading them through a winding and weaving route to avoid Dai Li agents. Zuko and Faelin were able to slip back into her room where he bundled her in her blankets. The predawn light made him nervous. She was exhausted but reassured him she was fine. She just needed to sleep. The red lantern houses were to be closed for the next three days, so she would have the time to recoup on her own in relative peace. He kissed her once more and slipped out again to scuttle across rooftops with Mu-Tan back to the dojo.

The people in the network likewise slipped back to their homes. One knocked on the red lantern house and entered quietly to speak to the owner.


	37. Chapter 37: Zuko's 18th Birthday

**_Chapter 38: Zuko's 18th Birthday_**

Zuko was still asleep in the apartment when Iroh was passing a return message to a messenger at the door around noon. Everything Iroh needed for the new apartment above the Tea Shop was packed and ready to go. He was leaving Zuko a cup and bowl, a pan and pot and the kettle for tea. He peaked into Zuko's room to see his nephew still dead to the world. He was somewhat ashamed by Mu-Tan's letter. He looked on Zuko annoyed that he had neglected something that was so important to his nephew. They had been so busy over the past few years, that Iroh figured Zuko would not care for the tradition. Mu-Tan's letter indicated otherwise. He quietly closed Zuko's door and finished setting up the main table. Then he began to cook some late lunch.

The scents swirled into Zuko's room. He thought he was back home as a child and his mother was cooking his favorite foods. Creamy spicy chicken soup, fried vegetable dumplings, steamed rice and egg buns with their subtly sweet yellow centers, and the very best deep fried sesame daifuku. As Zuko woke he realized the smells were not a dream at all. His stomach growled and his mouth watered. He quickly took a sponge bath in his room and dressed.

He slid open his door to see his uncle setting out a dream come true. It was all his favorite foods, laid out on the table with very mild plum wine. Also on the table was a large flat box made of fine acacia wood polished smooth, with a rice paper scroll rolled and held closed by a silver ring resting atop the box. "Uncle?"

Iroh smiled. "Happy birthday, Nephew."

Zuko blinked back what might have been embarrassing tears. The last time he had celebrated his birthday was with his mother when he was nine years old, just before she left. The only other time he had anyone consider gifts for him was at his puberty rite at the age of ten when he was able to bend fire smoothly to heat the coals he had to walk across. He was gifted at the end.

Iroh guided his nephew to sit while he poured plum wine for them both. "Eat, Nephew. I hope it is as you like."

Zuko's stomach growled loudly again and Iroh laughed. Zuko stifled his own amusement and ate as there was yet another knock on the door. Iroh opened it to allow the two men to collect all the belongings into a cart. "You are leaving now, Uncle?"

Iroh: "No, nephew. But soon. They are just taking everything to the new place for us. Today is a very special day and I want to spend it with you. Open the gift. I am too excited to wait."

Zuko set the scroll aside and opened the box. In it was two exquisite blades of a new design. He lifted them from the box. Their craftsmanship was clearly from the master bladesmiths he had trained with. The metals were very fine and the blades fit together like his twin swords, though these were shorted and slimmer. Zuko was awed. His uncle surely could not have afforded this. He set the blades back in the box and opened the scroll. He immediately recognized Faelin's lovely sweeping script that was like an art form on its own. The scroll listed his uncle's name, Mu-Tan and all the people he was with at the forge, even Travahar's. How did they know? Then he squinted at the smallest writing on the scroll. _I know you have not been through the rites of manhood yet, I hope that you accept to do so. Don't let your uncle grovel too much. No, don't ask how I know. I just know. I love you dearly. Happy birthday._

Zuko was touched. He ate the delicious food, savoring every bite. He wondered over and over in his mind how Faelin could know he had not gone through the rite of manhood. Maybe it was because she was a priestess and could feel it in the spirit world or something. When he was done and he and his uncle finished sharing a second small glass of plum wine, another messenger came to the door.

Iroh read the note and asked the messenger to wait outside for a few moments. Iroh then turned to his nephew and bowed very low. "It has been brought to my attention that I have sorely neglected my duties as your family and guardian. This should have been done five years from your fire-walking rite. It should have been done three year ago. For this I humble myself and apologize. I beg your forgiveness and ask if you still wish to go through the rite of manhood according to our nation's traditions. I had no idea you still wanted this."

Zuko stood and bowed low to his uncle. "I… I… Will you honor me, Uncle, and stand in my father's place? I… I do want to go through the rite."

Iroh stood and embraced Zuko tightly. "You think of me as a father?" There were tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks. Iroh turned quickly and dashed the tears away. Then he opened the door and scribbled something on a small note. The messenger was off yet again. He took a deep breath and turned to face his nephew again. "Are you ready to shed your boyhood forever?" Zuko nodded firmly. "Then get a cloak."

Zuko was a bit stunned. "Now?!"

Iroh beamed, "Yes now. We need to get a few things on the way. Mu-Tan is preparing the dojo as we speak!"

Zuko was caught suddenly between nervousness and excitement. He put the scroll into the box with the blades and grabbed his cloak.

They walked through the once again busy and bustling streets full of people in festive moods. It was a wonderful change from the tension of the previous few weeks. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky. The dark clouds in the distance reminded them that they were still in the rainy season and could expect rain the next day, but today… it was beautiful out.

They stopped at a maker of wines and other spirits. Iroh bought a bottle of very strong sake. Zuko raised an eyebrow. Drinking very mild plum wine was one thing, but normally firebenders avoided alcohol. Strong Sake? Was this wise? Then they stopped by a seller of buckets of coal and he bought a small bucket of the finest coal. As they passed by several places that made incense, Iroh chose various ingredients. Zuko wondered why and despite his questions in an attempt to find out why his uncle bought these items, or what he could expect in the rite, his uncle refused to answer.

They arrived at the dojo to see Ling and Mu-Tan rolling up the tatami mats. Mu-Tan was raising earth walls to protect the mirrors and block out the windows. Faelin came down the stairs and took Zuko in hand to lead him up and out of the way while Iroh instructed Ling and Mu-Tan on how things had to be set up. Confused and almost giddy, Zuko did not resist. When she asked him to strip down, he was shocked and refused. She handed him a large white cloth. "You need to be wearing nothing for the rite but this."

Awkwardly he turned his back to her and removed his clothing. "Why? Are you leading the rite? What can I expect?" He suddenly frowned to himself as he realized he must sound like Ty-min right now.

Faelin smiled and chuckled. "I will be here to start you off and then meet you when it is done. But this rite, I cannot be part of. I am not a man and thus have no place in it. So I cannot even tell you what goes on in it."

Zuko turned to her still tying the cloths at his hip. "But, I read… How did you know? If you knew, then you must know what goes on in it."

Faelin blushed a little and covered her smile with her hand. "I cannot tell you. When it is over, you will understand. I honestly do not know what goes on in the rite. I just know the end result. You are very brave! Water Tribe boys experience this at the age of three with their naming rite and thus never remember the trial. Fire Nation sees it as a way to prove inner strength and courage. Now, meditate. I am to bathe you and ready your spirit for the challenge. Did you learn the Dance of Blades and the Dance of Flames?" Zuko nodded. "Good. Then while you meditate, go over the Dance of Blades in your mind."

It was strangely exhilarating to be bathed with a soft cloth by Faelin. It stirred his body and distracted him from his meditation. Every now and then he had to look at her. There was the soft scent of mimosa and lotus in the water. She would give him a stern look every time he was caught looking at her. He was now very excited. What could go on in this rite? He really tried to think of the Dance of Blades. When next he looked at Faelin her tattoos were aglow. She raised her hand and covered his eyes. The Dance of Blades came clear in his mind as the sounds and sights of the room and building fell away.

In the dojo, Ling finished cleaning up and left for the evening to ensure none of the students dropped by having missed the messenger canceling classes today. Mu-Tan and Iroh leaned the rolled mats against the wall in the changing room. Mu-Tan moved stones to block the entry way, leaving a passage to the changing room. This way no one coming could immediately see the goings on in the dojo, not even by accident. Iroh set the spicy incense to burn and fill the room with its fiery entrancing scent. Mu-Tan set small brazier in the middle of the floor and poured the coal into it. Iroh sprinkled some of the incense into the coals, but did not light them. Mu-Tan retrieved a towel from the changing room and was in charge of the sake, opening it to make sure he did not have to struggle with it during the rite. He did not really agree with the rites actions even if he did approve of its purpose. But then, this was a Fire Nation rite and he was very privileged to be part of it. Mu-Tan then retrieved some small medical supplies for cuts and gashes from the office. Bandages were going to be needed. The two old dragons shook hands and took kneeling meditation poses to wait for the boy to come down the stairs and into the now sacred space of the dojo.

The Dance of Blades filled Zuko's mind, he could almost feel his body flowing through the moves and feeling the sharp edges of the blades. Yet, he knew he was not physically moving. Faelin drew away her hand and the adrenalin began to rush through his veins. "You gave up infancy when you learned the Dance of Blades and sacrificed blood for your name. You gave up childhood when you walked the hot coals and learned the Dance of Flames. Now, are you ready to Prove the Dances to the Spirits and Ancestors? Are you ready to Dance them? Are you ready to cast aside your boyishness to be a man?" Faelin's voice was like a distant echo as his blood rushed in his ears. He replied YES to each question. She guided him to stand. "You have been separated from the world and those you have known and loved. Your spirit dances the deadly Dance of Blades on the threshold of the spirit world. I will leave you soon to the rite, where only men may be. Are you ready?" Again he said YES. She guided him carefully down the stairs. In this trance, she did not want him to fall. She glanced into the dojo to see two huge dragons encircling it. One was a deep red dragon and the other was a dark forest green one. The sparks of the elders shining in the spirit world as their bodies meditated in the center of the room. She announced aloud, "The youth Zuko, Son of Ursa, Nephew of Iroh wishes to be a man. Who claims him as blood?"

Iroh stood and approached. "I do. I am Iroh, uncle to the boy Zuko and I act as his father in this world and the spirit world. I claim him as my blood with honor. I vouch for his spirit as true and ready." Then Iroh guided Zuko from the doorway into the room. The spicy scents wafting away reality and Faelin melted out of sight as she retreated to the upstairs room. This rite was not for her eyes. She had to wait till it was over before she could see Zuko again. Mu-Tan remained where he was. He knew his cues. He was more a witness than anything and was fascinated to watch this.

The room began to grow hot. Mu-Tan knew there was firebending going on. Sweat beaded his body. Iroh drew a knife from coals and demanded Zuko face the blade. Thus began the actual Dance of Blades. As Zuko moved and evaded the sharp edge that struck out at his bare flesh. Mu-Tan was amazed the boy could do this. He had already noted the glazed look in Zuko's eyes and was sure that the boy did not see the physical world at all. However, the blade was real and the body and spirit knew ever step and turn.

Once Zuko had gone around the room challenged by Iroh's blade, he was brought to the center of the room. Iroh brought the brazier to life and the flames lit the dark room. "What does it mean to be a man!?" Iroh's voice boomed.

Zuko responded from the heart, "I means I must take charge of my life and bring about change. I am Yang, the active force in the balance of humanity."

Iroh's voice echoed low, "As Yang, you are light and fire. Prove it!"

Zuko reached his hand into the brazier and drew out a coal. As he cast it to the stone floor he moved it with firebending to create a blazing circle around them. And thus began the Dance of Flames. Mu-Tan remain very still knowing that to move would be to get burned. Zuko was a flame dancing to the sound of great drums that echoed back from the spirit world.

Once he had again completed the circuit of the room, Iroh demanded, "What does it mean to be a man?"

Again Zuko answered, "It means to be the warrior, the protector, to be reliable and responsible. It means to act always with honor and never flinch from my duty. It means to be responsible for my actions. No matter the cost, I am responsible for owning up to them."

Standing before the brazier, the fumes from the incense kept the adrenalin burning through Zuko's veins. Mu-Tan shifted quietly to the side to avoid touching Zuko and accidentally snapping him out of this trance. Iroh approached Zuko and cut the loincloth from him. Mu-Tan caught it before it touched the ground.

Iroh spoke softly but with great power, "Do you trust me?"

Zuko: "Yes."

Iroh: "Are you ready to be a man?"

Zuko: "Yes."

Iroh: "Even if it means to sacrifice part of yourself?"

Zuko: "Yes."

Iroh: "Are you prepared to sacrifice the flesh of boyhood and cast it forever to the flames?"

Zuko: "I am."

Iroh brought the blade up so Zuko could catch the flash of it in his eyes. Zuko gave a short nod and closed his eyes. Iroh reached down. Zuko felt a slight tug. The Iroh's blade cut swiftly. There was a moment of sharp pain. Zuko inhaled quickly but made no other move, still locked in his trance. Mu-Tan however winced and held up the loincloth that was now folded into a neat square. Iroh dropped the small bit of bloody skin into the center of the cloth.

Iroh: "Then cast your sacrifice to the flames and let the spirits take away all traces of the boy you once were. Blindly Zuko reached out and took hold of the proffered cloth and cast it into the brazier.

Faelin who was meditating upstairs felt the movement in the spirit world and made her way back down the stairs. From the doorway, her voice rang out. "The spirits have accepted the sacrifice." When Zuko opened his eyes, Faelin could see an overlay of his spirit form in his body. Zuko was like a bright fiery orange dragon. He raised his arms to either side as his spirit self unfolded great wings that only adult dragons possessed.

Mu-Tan raised the towel and held to sake bottle firmly as Iroh lit the lanterns in the room with firebending. Mu-Tan then poured the sake over Zuko's sensitive new wound. Faelin waited a moment and then returned upstairs. The dragon shrieked a moment in Zuko's chest, though no sound came from his throat. His eyes grew wide as the trance was suddenly broken by the pain and stinging the sake caused him where no one ought to feel such things. Mu-Tan continued to disinfect the wound. Zuko's breath came short and fast as his body stiffened and the color drained from him. Iroh was picking up the medical supplies and casually said as he glanced over, "Catch him."

Mu-Tan quickly put down the sake and towel. Zuko glanced down at his wounded and bleeding manhood. His knees gave way and Mu-Tan caught him. Iroh bent over Zuko and created a small ring of fire and seared the wound. That brought a sharp yell from a surprised Zuko before he passed out. Then Iroh wrapped a small bandage around it.

Mu-Tan shook his head. "You Fire Nation people are insane. I'll keep my precious foreskin thanks."

Iroh chuckled. Zuko stirred to consciousness and glanced down at himself to see if he dreamed this. The truth glared back at him. In a small weak voice he said, "Uncle? Uncle, I think I'm gonna be sick." He swallowed several times and Iroh brought a cup of cool water to Zuko's lips instructing him to sip the lightly minted water. He winced terribly as they two men helped him to stand. Then they helped him up the stairs and laid him on the bed mat in his room.

Faelin was waiting, eyes closed in meditation. Once the other men stood back, she opened her eyes. Her tattoos glowed softly as she bathed the sweat off Zuko. "The spirits have seen you become a man. They have seen your spirit. They name you Zuko, Huo Long, the Fire Dragon. You are a man." Zuko could hardly smile through the stinging pain. Iroh could only grin from ear to ear with pride for his nephew. When Faelin was done and she whispered a thank you to the spirits, she gave Zuko a kiss. "I have to go now before I am missed. You will need a week to recover. I will be fine. Not much is happening for a while at the red lantern house." He grabbed her hand a moment and brought it to his lips. She leaned down again and kissed him.

Then she stood and put on her hooded cloak and made her way down the stairs followed by Mu-Tan. He thanked her and then started returning his dojo to its normal state. She pulled up her hood and smiling with love and pride in her heart, she stepped outside. Oh how she missed this feeling of being connected to the spirit world. She could hear the call within her. It made her heart sing. She never saw the hand that reached out from around the corner till it covered her mouth and the large arms of the sumo guard pulled her into the alley, carrying her struggling back to their master.


	38. Chapter 38: Silencing of Faelin

**_Chapter 38: Silencing of Faelin_**

Zuko rested for several hours while the two old dragons talked over supper. Afterwards, like Travahar, Zuko was taken home in a cart with Iroh helping him. They went to the hut to gather some of Zuko's things and then to the new apartment where Iroh can watch over his healing nephew. The pain washed through Zuko in waves. He was fine for the tram ride, but the bumpy cart rides turned his stomach. It was a long cart ride from the tram to the new apartment. Zuko remained cradled in his uncle's arms desperately trying to block out the pain. Relief came when the cart stopped moving at last. With much wincing, Zuko stood and looked at the new place. Part of his mind thought how incredibly beautiful the place looked and part of his mind groaned at the fact that he would have to climb more stairs just to get to lie down again.

-----

Gagged against potential screaming, Faelin struggled against the big arms of the sumo guard with all the strength and defiance she could muster. Her master paced the room pondering what he should do to her. "Apparently the beating on your legs did not bruise them enough to remind you of your duties and restrictions. Let me try something different." He pulled out her contract. Pointing to it to emphasize his words, he stated cruelly. "You are bound to me in this service. Remember the children you gave up your freedom for? And I have within my rights to punish you as I see fit. I am still trying to think of something suitable. Since I still need you able to work and walk, I cannot remove your hands or feet." He paced more. "Since you insist on challenging your contract with these religious and superstitious acts of magic with your chanting to those imaginary spirits…" he trailed off in thought. "Tie her to the chair. Then fetch me the silver smith, the one for the indentured servants. We will silence her." The sumo guard tied her firmly to the chair and left the room.

-----

Zuko was essentially completely out of commission for two whole days. His uncle set up the new Tea Shop and made various arrangements. As Zuko felt better, he helped set up the apartment. He walked like an odd duck and refused to go in public. He wished he were Travahar who was probably being cared for by some beautiful women, though Faelin would be all that he really needed. He was in no condition to even try to visit her. Standing and walking was an alternating experience of pain or uncomfortable erections the stretched the skin and thus caused pain. He valued the ice from the Tea Shop like it was gold.

-----

An hour later the sumo guard arrived with the specialized silver smith. This was a cold looking whip thin man with small glasses across the bridge of his long narrow nose. His eyes were a grey green as he carefully laid out his tools on a small table not far from Faelin. Her eyes grew wide and she renewed her struggling. The man held out a small bottle with a strange elixir on it. Flatly he said, "Drug her." It was a small fight to pin her in place and force the liquid down her throat. They waited a few hours till she could no longer see straight. She no longer put up any fight as she was barely aware of anything. Everything swirled together and her body felt numb and disobedient. When she was so drugged she was drooling, the silver smith took hold of her face and studied her mouth. Then he chose his apparatus and inserted a pear-shaped device into her mouth slowly cranking it till her mouth was forced open. With tongs, he drew out her tongue and studied it top and bottom. He felt her eyes focus on him a bit. He stared back into them. Then he coldly ordered everyone out because they were distracting him from his work. Once they left, his eyes softened to a sage green. "Shhhhh… We all have our duties. I will do exquisite work on you. If you remember this talk at all, remember this, I will do no damage to the little bit of skin under your tongue. Perhaps in time, when you are no longer under contract, you can learn to speak again. But for now, I advise you not to try. The bolt I will insert could chip a tooth if you try to talk too soon. And if they even think you can talk, which you won't be able to for a long while, then they will simple call me back to cut out your tongue." With a tiny blade, he pierced the top of her tongue determining the right place. Then with a long thick needle with a silver bolt on the end, he pushed it through the bottom of her tongue till it pierced up through the small cut he made at the top. The drugs had thinned her blood some and she bled from the piercing. He dabbed it with a cloth. Then the metal pick that was heating in the lamp flame was applied to the sharp point at the top of the bolt. The silver there melted and he pushed on the small silver ball that instantly sealed with the molten silver. Pleased with his craftsmanship, he released her already swelling dry tongue from the tongs. Then eased the pear-shaped apparatus out of her mouth and brought some water to her stretched and bruising lips to moisten her tongue and mouth. She choked on the water managing barely to swallow only half the sips. Then he gave her a strong alcohol to drink. The reaction of the alcohol and the drug brought on a nightmarish oblivion that she could not fight.

-----

With some extra bandaging and the stylish longer jackets common for the people in the Upper Ring, Zuko eventually ventured into the new Tea Shop to help his uncle ready the place for opening. Zuko had not seen his uncle so busy, a good kind of busy. He knew that soon he, himself, would return to the Lower Ring. He offered to manage the arrangements with the suppliers there to save his uncle the traveling. It was like running a ship. Supplies and personnel had to be arranged, financing and coordination, too. His uncle despaired at this. Zuko's mind was content to have his body sitting still while he problem-solved all these challenges. It helped keep his mind off worrying about Faelin. Though several times, he was caught staring off, missing her. A whole week, maybe two seemed like forever.

-----

She was left to fend for herself for the remaining days of the quiet time in the season. People were too busy with families to come to the red lantern houses. She lay on the floor of her room shivering, her tongue throbbing, her faced bruised black. She could not eat. Sipping water and broth was all she could manage. One of the older women who stayed in the red lantern house came down. She was an old waterbender, not a very powerful one, but she new a little of healing. She advised Faelin to not drink anything of extreme temperatures, no matter how much her tongue burns or swells. She should stick to water and broths for the remainder of the week. The swelling would soon go down. She wondered if she could manage to help this poor girl somehow. She took a few breaths and tried what little waterbending she new. She could feel the needs of a body and then usually figure out what to do after without bending. She took some time to assess if any other harm had come to her. Knowing that Faelin did now work with the courtesans and evening ladies, she asked if the girl was violated recently. Faelin frowned and shook her head weakly. "Then you had a lover." Faelin let her tears flow into her pillow. She missed Zuko so very badly right now. "If you have trouble, come see me. I know a little of medicines." Then she left to return to her own duties.


	39. Chapter 39: Slow Healing

**_Chapter 39: Slow Healing_**

The family gatherings and other quiet social gatherings were out of the question for Travahar for the next few days. He laid in bed with loose pants on and a tight bandage around his chest. The first day or two were like inhaling fire. The cracked rib burned and ached with every breath. He wondered how Lee… _no, his name was Zuko, prince of the Fire Nation, well, exiled prince..._ He wondered how Zuko had endured his own cracked ribs so long ago. A beating he had gotten in an alley or something. That Fire Nation man was interesting. He endured everything, struggled no matter how hard. He always seemed so in control, even when he cracked Travahar's rib. This gave Travahar something to consider. All the times he and Zuko sparred, it was a challenge. Zuko struggled with the Hung Gar forms and resorted to his own Shaolin forms when he had no other choice. This last sparring told Travahar that Zuko was actually the superior fighter. He realized that Zuko might actually have been in the middle of real war fights and knew possibly a hundred ways to cripple a man or kill him. In this instance, Zuko cracked a single rib, with such precision that the healer asked if he was hit with a pole measured to a drawn dot on his chest. Then upon leaving, Zuko had apologized like he was guilty of something. Travahar mulled this over. What really was going on? He took a deep breath to sigh and winced and coughed with the sudden burning pain. These healers were terrible. They were not like to old waterbending healers that used to come to the city. These ones moved your bones, poked and prodded you, and gave you foul tasting elixirs and potions. At least, the potions sometimes eased the pain. Travahar reached for the tea and sipped it welcoming its bitterness and the numbing it would bring.

A knock at the door and a servant entered. "You have a guest, Hwa Lan has come to visit you." The servant left the room. Travahar cursed and sat up. He reached, wincing, for the comb and quickly went through his hair to remove tangles. He tried to neaten the sheets and look like a wounded hero. Then he cursed again as he realizes he has not yet bathed. Again he sat up and grunting with the pain pulled the wash basin's table to him. He did not hear the door open and close as he leaned for the cloth. A delicate but strong hand took up the cloth before he could. He looked up, caught off guard. Hwa Lan stood before him with a twinkle in her eye. "Hwa Lan! I am not dressed!"

She smiled. "Where have I heard THAT before? I don't care. Here, let me help you, my poor wounded warrior." She sat on the bedside and undid his bandaging.

He tried not to wince. Then she washed him slowly and carefully with the cloth. He closed his eyes to enjoy her touch. She was sometimes a mystery to him. She could be so impatient when she wanted something, so bold. And yet, she was at the same time shy and patient. It confused him and delighted him. The fact that she was a bright university student was also enticing. She was not the empty-headed dancing and giggling dolls that usually hovered around the courts. Perhaps he could entertain seeing her more seriously than the occasional meeting at social functions or at the dojo for class. He flinched and made a surprised sound of pain as she pressed too hard over the bruising that formed black and purple around the one rib. She shyly apologized. She took some time to more deftly inspect his injury with practiced fingers that proved better than the doctors he had in earlier. _Must change doctors,_ he thought to himself.

When the servant brought in dinner, Hwa Lan stayed to tell him all the gossip in the various families and the newest interests in court and at the university. She told him of her encounters with the avatar and his friends. _The avatar?_ Travahar suddenly felt like he had been under a rock for months. _How did this escape him?_ Apparently the avatar is trying to help with some efforts of the war. The head of the Dai Li, Long Feng, was imprisoned. That he knew. And, the silence of the war has been lifted. **_Good_**. But beyond that she knew very little. The avatar was coming to the university to delve into the military books and work with the Council of Five generals. The avatar was also trying to find what he could about firebending. Apparently he needed to learn it before facing the Fire Nation army; but, Hwa Lan said she sensed the avatar had great trepidation about doing actual firebending. All this was incredible information. Travahar liked Hwa Lan even more! She would make a fine member of White Lotus, if she wasn't already. Travahar wondered how he would go about smoothly finding out. He also considered his options for how to get this information to Mu-Tan.

All in good time.

Right now, Travahar was enjoying being pampered by the lovely Hwa Lan. He toyed with the notion of just calling her Lan. Maybe it was too soon to be that casual. The healer stopped in to rebandage him while Hwa Lan watched on. When he left, she made small adjustments to the bandaging with tisking noises. It was getting late. She stood to depart. "Lan? Could you pour me some more of that foul tea before you leave?" Travahar asked in a low velvety voice. When she complied with a warm smile, he decided that it was alright to call her just Lan.

-----

At the end of the third day, the apartment was essentially finished and the new Tea Shop had all its furnishings in place. Zuko would have felt content with his uncle over this if he was not still stinking and uncomfortable and nor currently feeling completely disgusted with himself. He had been taking rough sponge baths to avoid further pain in sensitive places. But now, he was fed up and desperately wanted a real and full bath, no matter how much it was going to hurt. He marveled at the pumps and water tanks for each floor and let the middle floor tank fill the large ceramic bathing tub. He almost forgot to put a stopper in when he noticed the water going down the drain. _Oh! to be clean. Oh! to soak in a tub for as long as I want. _He put his hand in and heated the water with firebending. It steamed.

He then slipped off his clothes and let them fall into a small pile of the floor. He looked down at the small bandage. It needed to be removed. He flexed his fingers and looked away. The anticipation of pain was sucking away his courage.

"Don't forget to remove the bandage, Nephew!" called Iroh from down the hall.

Zuko sighed with exasperation as this was the tenth time his uncle reminded him this evening. He took a deep breath and started to peel off the bandage. He growled through gritting teeth and stopped peeling. He looked and noticed he had barely removed any of the bandage. _By all the nine hells,_ he cursed to himself. He took another deep breath and ripped the bandage off. "AAAAHHH!!" With his hands now bracing him against the wall to avoid falling, he stared at the ceiling. He dared not look just yet.

Iroh came down the hall to the bathing room at the sound of Zuko's sharp yell. He figured Zuko did as he himself once did. Iroh shook his head. Perhaps he should have suggested to Zuko to soak it a bit first so the bandage fell off. Oh well. It was a manly learning experience. Iroh tapped on the screen door. "Do you need help nephew?"

Zuko: "NO!"

Iroh: "Is it infected?"

There was a pause. Zuko was afraid to look. Was it? Is that why it hurt so much? Oh gods, what if it was? Would he lose this precious part of his body? He glanced down, but had no idea. What is it supposed to look like?

Iroh: "I'm coming in."

Zuko turned red and snapped, "NO!" He didn't want to be inspected down there by his uncle.

Iroh: "Well, then you can tell me for yourself whether it is red and swollen or edged green and pussing…"

Zuko's stomach twisted. "Be quick!"

Iroh smiled. He opened the screen and quickly checked on his nephew. Zuko was deep red with humiliation. "You are fine. Bathe it very well, and then when you come out wash it in salt water or pour alcohol over it. And let it air dry tonight." Iroh left to rummage through a small box down the hall. Zuko slid the screen shut and stepped into the tub. The heat seeped into his feet. The screen slid open again. Zuko was about to yell at his uncle for privacy when Iroh set a small jar of salve on top of a towel. "Rub that into it before bed. It will help it heal faster. He left in a flash closing the screen behind him.

Zuko looked to the ceiling and pleaded to the gods that his uncle would not do that again. Then he gripped the sides of the tub and took a few deep breaths. Remembering the yell from the previous deep breath experience, he made sure to exhale before sinking himself into the hot water. The sharp sting hit him as hard was Faelin's knee had. If his lungs were full of air, he would have yelled again. Instead, the impact of the pain made him suck in a fast breath. He panted a moment until the initial shock faded.

The heat of the water eased him and his stresses. He soaked there for nearly an hour, reheating the water every time it cooled. Finally he was bathed clean and cursed his uncle to the nine hells as he washed the wound with salt water and then alcohol. Relief came with the salve. Dry and now wearing nothing but a loose sleeping kimono, Zuko went to meditate in his new room. He looked out the window at the steady chill rain. "Patience Faelin," he whispered. "I'll be back soon as I am healed. Now I know how you knew." He lit the candles and incense and meditated before stretching out flat to sleep.

-----

Faelin's period of recuperation was limited to only two days. On the third she was put back to work, this time under guard. She was never out of sight of the sumo guard. She worked in the upper rooms changing over the colors and décor for the changing season. When the Dai Li agents started coming on their vacations to be entertained at the red lantern houses, Faelin was shunted into the storage room to do the laundry. Again the big sumo guard shadowed her, even when she slept.

She collapsed on the fourth day. The sumo guard carried her down to her bed mat and gave her water to drink. He pitied her. He would still do his job, but if she did not rebuild her strength, she would not be able to do hers. Then they would both get punished.

Faelin slept badly. She was in pain and had night terrors. She tried teas to ease the pain. She tried drowning herself in alcohol at one point. But that made it so much worse. She wept silently whenever no one was looking.

When she fell ill on the fifth day, the old waterbending woman came down to minister to her as she did for any of the girls who fell ill. The woman tisked her for drinking the alcohol. She had a strong broth and a ginger mint tea made for Faelin. Faelin's stomach turned out both. The bruising still looked frightful. The older woman worried for Faelin. "You need to eat. Sit up. Show me your tongue." Faelin obeyed. It was still swollen, but not so badly. The older woman could sense the energies in Faelin's body and knew it was very minimally infected; enough to maybe make Faelin have a fever or some nausea. She sighed. She told the sumo guard that Faelin's tongue was terribly infected and she needed to stay somewhere where she could be cared for. The sumo guard carried Faelin to the older woman's room. "This will be fine. Thank you. I only ever really entertain that young nobleman anyways. And if he should come by, I will have her stay in the small sitting area while I entertain." He informed the master who allowed this only for the next three days and then returned to his usual duties.


	40. Chapter 40: New Friends

_**Chapter 40: New Freinds**_

The morning dawned bright and clear as Zuko knelt at the low dining table on the third floor to sip his bowl of Duk soup. Zuko had slept well and the salve and bathe had done wonders for his perspective on life. He was not in pain per se. He was rested. He had endured the toughest part of the rite of manhood. He was a man, even if he was stuck relying on his uncle still. He hoped to change that soon. He tried to think of it as his uncle relying on him to help set things up. Zuko had a better head for managing all the small details and coordinating and organizing people and supplies into a cohesive and functional whole. At least Iroh liked to let him believe that.

Iroh looked at Zuko oddly, "You seem different some how this morning."

Zuko, almost cheerily, replied, "It's a new day! We've got a new apartment, new furniture, and today is the grand opening of your new tea shop. Things are looking up, Uncle." He sipped the Duk again and looked out at the clear sky. Iroh felt a weight lift from his own shoulders and turned smiling to serve a bowl of Duk for himself.

Hours later, they were both down at the Jasmine Dragon Tea Shop. There were supplies for only a few blends of tea but it was enough to open and start to serve clients. Zuko still walked a bit awkwardly and had to school his facial features to not give away his discomfort. It was fine if he did not walk or if he was sitting or kneeling. Walking, well, it was a mix of sensations of pain or well, his body became disobedient and he was grateful for the long jacket. Zuko stepped to the front doors and opened them for the first time to the public awaiting entry. Everyone bowed respectfully as they passed him. His uncle's reputation had apparently also fallen to him as well. He bowed over and over in return, blushing slightly and feeling his uncle's pride from across the main tea room. Before returning inside, he took in the view of the water fountain outside and the incredible sense of peace. He wished he could show this to Faelin. With a sigh he went inside.

Zuko and Iroh stood at the back of the main tea room watching the goings on. Iroh said wistfully, "Who thought that when we came to this city as refugees, that I'd end up owning my own tea shop. Follow your passion, Zuko, and life will reward you." Zuko wondered what his passion was. All he knew was fighting, military leadership, subterfuge, some blade smithing… and… a deep need to care for certain people.

For his uncle, Zuko had to smile. This was his uncle's dream and it was nice to see his uncle truly happy. Zuko wondered if he would ever feel that. "Congratulations, Uncle."

Iroh: "I am truly thankful."

Zuko: "You deserve it. The Jasmine Dragon will be the best Tea Shop in the city."

Iroh turned to Zuko, "No, I'm thankful because you decided to share this special day with me. It means more than you know."

Zuko thought he had a sense of what it meant to his uncle. His uncle was truly more a father to him than his own father could ever be, and far more honorable. He took a second to mentally block out everyone in the Tea Shop and hug his uncle.

In the afternoon, Hwa Lan stopped in and smiled sweetly to Zuko. He raised an eyebrow. The last time she smiled so sweetly, he found his face suddenly pressed into a mat by a simple basic move. When he brought her tea, she thanked him. "Lee? You know that Travahar is wounded and stuck in bed?" Zuko looked down feeling again guilty. "I think he would really appreciate some company. Guys, I know sometimes just need other guys to talk to. And now that you live up here, you are close to him." She slipped Zuko a small card with Travahar's address, paid for her tea and left once she finished sipping it down. She was quite pleased with herself. Those two needed normal friends. Travahar had too many flighty bits of uneducated or over-educated fluff. Lee was so very down to earth and always so solitary and broody. He could use Travahar's flamboyance a bit. Yes, that went very well. Hopefully Lee will not chicken out on the social invite. The next project on her list? Meet up with her friend Sun Fei for some school research and a dance class.

Zuko turned the note card over and over in his hands as he walked into the back room. Iroh glanced at it. "What is that? Is that that lovely girl's address? Already! You are charming the ladies here!"

Embarrassed, Zuko correcting his uncle. "No no. She trains at the dojo. She is Travahar's… um… friend." He wasn't sure what she was to Travahar. "I injured him in our last sparring. She came to ask me to visit him."

Iroh: "Oooohhh. Then you should. Did you apologize to him?"

Zuko: "Sort of. I will go over this evening. He is supposed to be in the competition with me."

Iroh looked at Zuko surprised, "Competition? What competition?" He knew from what Mu-Tan had told him, but wanted to hear it from Zuko.

Zuko looked down a bit shy and said quietly. "Sifu Mu-Tan entered us in the annual dojo competitions. He thinks Travahar and I are worthy. But I am afraid my style will be recognized. I am not nearly as good as Travahar at the Hung Gar style."

Iroh beamed. "I am sure you are just fine. And besides, you would be surprised at what styles creep into a competition when a dojo wants to win. I would like to be there to watch."

Zuko felt honored and went back out with a tray of tea to pass to one of the serving women for a client.

Zuko, despite his discomfort was determined to go to see Travahar. When the work day had ended, he considered walking there. Unfortunately, he was a mix of pain and discomfort. His uncle made him drink a strong willow bark tea to cut the pain. A cart was called as Zuko was in no real condition to wander all over the Upper Ring trying to locate Travahar's house.

As the cart runner took Zuko through the Upper Ring, he saw elaborate fountains and exquisite architecture. He wondered what had happened to all the beautiful architecture in the Fire Nation, if it ever existed at all, and if it looked as incredible as the buildings he saw here in the Upper Ring. He still preferred the vibrant reds and oranges to the tans and greens, but they were still beautiful. He leaned from the cart to stare wide-eyed at the university. "What is THAT?" he called to the cart runner. The runner stopped and looked where Zuko was looking. Very casually and not very impressed, he stated that it was the university. He had heard of the University of Ba Sing Se, and even knew some of the dojo students who attended (like Hwa Lan), but he did not realize how true the reputation and the rumors were. It was huge! And, it had the largest library he had ever seen as a separate building. He sat back in the cart a bit stunned. The Fire Nation may be so advanced in its military, but it was serious lacking in so many other things. He then wondered what the Earth Nation was lacking in. Maybe it lacked in military know-how.

Finally the cart runner stopped in front of a very large estate. Zuko felt suddenly underdressed to be there. He knew Travahar was royalty, but in hiding and figured he was in a normal family. Zuko was so very wrong. Travahar was in one of the wealthiest noble families in Ba Sing Se. Zuko stood and straightened his jacket and shifted his pants more comfortably. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath reminding himself that he too was royalty and knew how to act. Lifting his chin, he strode smoothly to the entrance and requested entry to see Travahar. He waited patiently in a plush lounge for the servant to return. He remained standing but moving as little as possible as he reviewed in his head what to say and how to say it, scrapping the ideas and starting fresh with each new thought.

A servant guided Zuko to Travahar, who was in a kneeling meditation on a quiet room with bay windows overlooking a garden and fountain and the setting sun. Travahar was surprised that Zuko had come to see him. It confused him a bit and yet pleased him. Travahar was especially glad he was done with his dinner and was well dressed and ready for company when Zuko did arrive.

Zuko stood awkwardly in the doorway taking in the view of the room, assessing the dangers if any, and evaluating Travahar's condition. He was clearly well bandaged; his breathing indicated that Travahar still had pain. Zuko remembered his own cracked ribs and felt bad that Travahar was going through this. He waited till Travahar acknowledged him. Zuko then bowed to the now standing Travahar, willing his own physical discomfort to not show. Travahar dipped his head in what was barely a respectful bow. "Please excuse that I do not bow, but your very precise kick has made it difficult for me to show you proper courtesy." Zuko felt the slight stab in his honor.

Travahar motioned Zuko to come into the room and then closed and locked the door behind him. Zuko instantly changed his stance in case this was treachery. "Relax. Meditate with me a bit. You are learning Hung Gar and if you are going to interrupt my practice routine then you can at the very least join me in it. The lock is because I do not wish to be disturbed or overheard. I have some questions for you and I am very glad you dropped by, though it does surprise me. How is the new Tea Shop?"

Zuko had to take a moment to get his thoughts caught up. He felt the conversation had pulled him almost 360 degrees and left him standing on uncertain footing. He had forgotten how court talk could be and worried about what Travahar now had in mind. All Zuko had wanted to do was quickly and quietly explain his actions and apologize. Now he felt trapped into a small intrigue where he was not certain of the rules. He warily came to sit on a Zafu and Zabuton cushion set as Travahar was, facing the floor to ceiling glass bay windows. "The Tea Shop is set up and opened. My uncle is very happy with how it is. He has earned some retirement, even though nothing seems to escape his eye."

Travahar raised an eyebrow. So, the Fire Prince has not quite lost his touch. By referring to his uncle he was indicated himself to be just as attentive. Anyone looking on from the outside might have thought they saw two dragons curled on cushions looking back, one a bright fiery orange and the other the bright green of the crystals common to the city of Ba Sing Se. The two young dragons knelt and meditated in silence. Zuko's mind kept wandering and he would pause and look about the room. Travahar smiled to himself whenever he heard Zuko move. "Hung Gar is based on earth and animals, namely the tiger. A tiger sits patiently and silently and unmoving while it waits for its prey to move. Then it strikes!" He made a small but sudden move. Zuko leapt from his Zafu cushion and stumbled over the Zabuton. Travahar laughed out loud. Zuko tackled him. The two wrestled for about twenty minutes until both were sore and their clothing crumpled and disorderly. Travahar coughed and winced and coughed and laughed and winced some more. Zuko knelt and carefully rearranged his jacket and put himself into order. Travahar did the same once he caught his breath. Zuko was partly humiliated to have been taken off guard, and yet from Travahar it was ok.

Travahar called in tea and once it came he again locked the door to keep everyone out. "This is about the only place where I can get total privacy." They sipped tea. Zuko commented that his uncle's tea was better. Travahar promised to find out.

Zuko was more relaxed now, the tension having been broken deftly by Travahar's antics. Travahar liked to keep Zuko on his toes. Travahar knew he was going to ache fiercely tomorrow, but it was worth it to see Zuko's face and watch him stumble. The tea also helped with relaxing. Now they could discuss more important matters. Like how and why Zuko cracked his rib.

This discussion was also Zuko's reason for coming. He first apologized. He had done it for two reasons. The first was that he was asked to by Mu-Tan. This made Travahar frown. The second reason took some explaining. Zuko was unsure how to address this and what information he could include and what to leave out. He stated that a priestess was snuck out to secretly lead the rites for the Winter Solstice and because all necessary precautions were taken, there was no one to protect Travahar and they wished to ensure he was safely locked away in a home where the spirits would not try to take his life. Travahar blinked several times at this new bit of information.

Travahar: "Why not try asking me next time?"

Zuko turned red. "I … I guess Mu-Tan felt you would not listen. You are somewhat a force on your own and do your own thing regardless of what people expect of you."

Travahar: "There is a great deal you do not know of me."

They discussed other less embarrassing or sensitive subjects like the upcoming competitions, Hwa Lan and the foolishness of the Earth Kingdom military. Zuko asked about the university and its library. Travahar promised to have someone give him a tour of it. Travahar then asked if Zuko would come to one of the social gatherings next week. He wanted Zuko there as someone more substantial to talk to and as someone he could count on to watch his back against treachery. Zuko thought about it a moment. It was an honor to be asked, but he was putting himself into the eye of people who may know and recognize him. Travahar assured him that was not likely. Zuko said he would consider it and get back to Travahar. They parted with a shake of hands and small noble bows. They agreed to practice together here in the evenings that Zuko was in the Upper Ring, when they were both free and IF they were both free. So as to rebuild strength, share techniques, and ready themselves for the competitions.

Zuko came home with an odd feeling of contentment. He had a friend, an equal in status and standing and circumstances. Zuko had never really had friends. Would this man betray him later? Zuko didn't think so. Zuko knew things that could betray Travahar too. Was this friendship, or just keeping an eye of the one who can most easily ruin your life?


	41. Chapter 41: Meeting Sun Fei

_Author's Notes:_

_As Sun Fei is modeled after my forum friend Farrah/ZMP, she helped write a large chunk of this chapter._

_**Chapter 41: Meeting Sun Fei**_

Zuko helped out at the Tea Shop in the morning and started preparing a long list of things needed for it. He then went to the Middle Ring to visit Ty-min. He took her to a park to play and enjoyed just sitting while she bounced around and chittered. She drew words in the sand for him and he began to think about her education. She was old enough to be schooled. He had tutors at this age. That, however, would be out of the question for her as those were very expensive. Could he afford a school? He had to work and so could not teach her himself. How was he to fit all this in? There had to be a list of all the schools for children in each Ring.

He loathed having to walk to the tram, but it was time to take her to the dojo. He had to miss his own class after the dojo to take her home again as he had promised. On a good note, he was able to get a list from Bao-Li of school in the Lower Ring. When he brought Ty-min back to her adoptive auntie, he was able to retrieve from her a list of schools in the Middle Ring. He met up with Travahar for meditation and stretches afterwards and managed to get a list of schools, though more a list of tutors from him.

He came home to the new place gritting his teeth through the stinging pain that was growing again. He was ordered to go soak and disinfect. Iroh looked through the school listings while Zuko soaked in the tub. He was feeling rather proud of his nephew taking responsibility for this. He thought he might try to give his nephew some personal space and wrote a message to the old landlord of the apartment in the Lower Ring asking for permission to continue renting for the entirety of the next month. It would give Zuko some time to sort out what he wanted on his own and give him the easy access to the retailers and sources for the Tea Shop supplies. If Zuko watched over the running of the Tea Shop tomorrow, Iroh could do the running around to some of the schools. That way Zuko did not have to endure physical discomfort and could rest and heal.

-----

As both girls settled into the carriage leaving the university, Hwa Lan turned to Sun Fei and smiled broadly.

Sun Fei: "Hwa Lan you have something to say, what is it?"

Hwa Lan turned away and looked out the small window at the passing mansions as the carriage gently swayed and bumped over the cobblestone street. Looking back at her patiently waiting friend, Hwa Lan sat back smoothing the golden hem of her mint colored dress and gave a small grin. "Well I have heard of a new place, here in the Upper Ring that we should go to for lunch." Sun Fei looked at her dear friend, and continued to wait for her to tell her why she had that idiotic grin on her face. "Its called the Jasmine Dragon and one of the guys that runs it, is the same guy I told you about before, the fighter, from my dojo." Hwa Lan paused and her grin spread even further.

Sun Fei raised a perfectly arched eyebrow "I'm listening."

Hwa Lan pushed a thick lock of hair back from her face, and proceeded to tell her friend all about Lee.

As Sun Fei stepped out of the carriage into the courtyard of the Jasmine Dragon she heard a click as the carriage door shut behind her. Spinning around, she saw Hwa Lan blow her a good luck kiss as the carriage began to pull away. Sun Fei's mouth hung open a bit in surprise, but she quickly regained her wits and after one last withering look at the carriage, straightened her back and turned for the stairs.

At the doorway she quickly surveyed the room using her height and a practiced eye. Without looking at either hostess, she handed her winter cloak to one while she addressed the other. "I will require a table for…"she paused in her instructions as her eye caught what she sought. "Nevermind," she dismissed the girls with a wave of her hand. She moved smoothly into the room, walking down the middle over the tiles of gold and jade. She was aware of her affect on people, her height instantly caught the eye and her feminine form kept it. Her auburn hair was shot with gold and her expensive emerald robes were made to accent her heavily fringed eyes. She moved gracefully, like the dancer she was, and with purpose to the man with his back turned. At the main counter, she waited for him to turn back around.

When Zuko turned, his vision was filled with the green robes and then of the girl, standing expectantly. Her hair was pulled up with ornamentation and the intricate gold detailing of her robes match it. Her skin had a soft sheen to it and her small red lips were shaped into a hesitant smile. What gave him pause was when he looked into her clear green eyes. The color was striking in that they looked like green glass held to the sun, but the keen intelligence of a history major that resided there was what made them unforgettable.

"Umm…" shooting a questioning glance at the hostesses, "Can I help you?"

Uncertainty stole into her eyes, "Yes… I'm looking for a man named Lee… I was told I could find him here."

Three heartbeats passed before Zuko remembered his voice. _Damn were her eyes distracting!_

"Yes. I'm Lee, how… how can I help you?"

Relief washes through her face. "Oh thank you. Hwa Lan told me that if I came here for tea, that you wouldn't mind sitting with me." She smiled her small smile again.

Zuko felt a small cold sweat form at the back of his neck. Looking around at the wait staff smoothly running the room he didn't really have any excuse not to join her. However, that would mean stepping out from behind the counter, and he had purposefully been hiding back here all day, not wanting his body to betray him in public. Zuko just stared back at her, his mind racing, but offering no words.

"Perhaps we could sit over there?" she suggested, pointing to a table near a window.

Zuko just nodded. With an answering smile she waited for him to move around the counter and then walked with him. He was pleasantly surprised at her height, she was practically eye level with him. As he gingerly lowered himself to sit, he watched her graceful manner and realizes she was high born, with court mannerisms instilled early in life.

She looked at him while she ordered her jasmine tea and gave another small smile. As Zuko's waitress asked if he wanted anything, he just shook his head and gave a curt "No."

Trying to give him a moment to relax, Sun Fei looked around the room noticing the detailed tile work on the floor and the ornate scrolls decorating the walls. Recognizing one artist she started to ask if Lee knew anything about it, but noticed he was tugging at his jacket collar. Instead she decided on a more direct path. "You are an excellent fighter, I hear."

Zuko sat motionless for a second not sure what to say, then with relief his brain finally decided to work and his years of court training under his mother resurfaced. "Hwa Lan is too kind, she herself is one to be reckoned with," he answered smoothly, turning the attention off of him and into a compliment and also a small disproval for Hwa Lan talking about him.

For the second time that day, Sun Fei raised an eye brow. "And how is Travahar? Recovering well?" she shot the small disproval back at him. With a small grimace, he accepted the shot and Zuko stared into her green eyes calculating how much she knew. Seeing the tension in his shoulders, she eased the rigidity of her posture slightly and smiled sweetly, asking "Do you like your new place here?"

Zuko in turn also relaxed and looking around in affirmation answered, "Yes."

She nodded as the tea service was placed in front of her.

Raising her hands from her lap she gently held one long sleeve carefully folded back as she delicately picked up the decorated teapot and poured the hot water over the fragrant leaves in the bottom of her ceramic cup. Zuko watched mesmerized as she moved her flawless hand from the kettle to the cup in a practiced manner. Her folding of the napkin so as to have a place for the bamboo stick to rest and the positioning of the tea instruments as she waited for the leaves to steep, all brought back memories of a time long ago to him. She stirred the tea in a circular manner with the bamboo stick and then gently tapped it against the cup four times. Without realizing it, he watched her raise the tiny cup to her lips, where she stopped. Zuko looked into her eyes questioningly, and she caught and held his gaze for a moment before lowering her eyes and sipping at her tea.

Quickly lowering her cup, she quietly exclaimed "This is delicious!" Her eyes widened in appreciation as she looked at Zuko.

He shrugged, "My uncle takes tea very seriously, he is very careful about the blends and the water temperature and …and …well," he shrugged again, embarrassment beginning to show as he tried to explain his uncle's obsession.

She nodded in understanding, looking down into her empty cup. "Yes, tea can be… very involved," she smiled to herself.

Zuko watched as the light danced across the gold woven in her hair, beginning to become aware that the wait staff would be watching. He moved to straighten his sleeve and as if on cue Sun Fei set her cup down and rose. Zuko came to his feet also as she began to thank him.

She bowed with her hands lightly pressed together, "Thank you, for your companionship and the tea." With one last small smile in answer to his return bow, she was off to the entrance to retrieve her cloak. Zuko stood watching her leave. It was a bit later before he realized she never paid.


	42. Chapter 42: Invitation

_**Chapter 42: Invitation**_

Travahar was fed up with this bed rest and meditations and do nothing stuff that all come with being injured. He liked Hwa Lan's company and she came by every day to cheer him up; but now that it was day five, he desperately wanted a change. Perhaps a leisurely afternoon being pampered at a spa then a stop at one of the red lantern houses to see perhaps the waterbending woman. That was like going to a spa too. Maybe he would just pay the extra to her instead. Yes, that made good sense. Her gentle hands and minimal healing gift could be as good as or better than any spa. And, she was great conversation, wise and full of advice.

He ached fiercely from the small wrestling bout a couple days ago and then yesterday stretching with Zuko. So he went and soaked long in one of the heated tubs of the west wing. As he left he eyed the Pai Sho board and smirked as he moved a piece and wandered off to have a cart hailed.

The bumpy ride in the cart felt just as bad as if he walked. He thought that maybe he will walk from the tram to the red lantern house. Halfway to the red lantern house from the tram, he wondered why he was so stupid to have decided to walk. He sat on the nearest place that was at least appropriate to sit and slowed his breathing to calm the burning pain. _How did Zuko walk around and do stuff with cracked ribs?_ Travahar wanted to curse that Fire Prince for being more enduring. He stood, refusing to be bettered, and finished his walk to the red lantern house he frequented most.

When he reached the door, he gathered his charming air and waltzed in to caress the cheek of a girl he passed and speak a word to make another blush. He bowed to the house master and laid down his coin. The house master raised an eyebrow at the sum. "You want her for the next three hours?"

Travahar's tone was as cocky as ever. "Is that a problem? Should I go elsewhere?"

The house master almost stuttered. "No not at all my lord." He wasn't the true house master. He was technically just the front man. The true house master was rarely ever seen outside his office and few knew who he was.

Travahar bowed and walked up the stairs inwardly regretting having bowed. The room he sought was one of the double suits, an inner corridor set of rooms that had no windows. The waterbending woman chose it for the privacy. She had a vent in the roof where she had chimes hanging to discourage listeners there. It created an exotic ambiance. Her minimal ability to waterbend allowed her to easily change the humidity and temperature in the rooms.

He tapped on the door and entered. To his surprise, the waterbending woman was not alone in the bedroom section of the suit. More surprising was who she was with, the fiery red hair on the pillow was unmistakable. The bruising on the girl's face was disturbing. The tattoos over the girl's shoulder and the arm exposed above the blanket was mesmerizing. The waterbending woman stood blocking the view to the sleeping girl and stepped into the main area, closing the bedroom screens behind her so Travahar saw no more. She invited him to sit and encouraged him out of his clothes for a massage on the cot she used for this in the main room.

-----

Zuko started to fall into the new routine. Mornings he assisted in the Tea shop. Afternoons he was either exploring his new environ or out with Ty-min or meeting with Travahar to work out at an easier pace to still build strength and flexibility. It is through these exercises that Zuko remembered that Travahar had wrenched his shoulder. Zuko had to roll the shoulder now and then. He also discovered something else. He could use that basic breath of fire technique that he was using on the metal in the forge on his own muscles to warm and loosen them and help prevent them from stiffening up. The evenings were spent looking for Faelin and training in the dojo.

Not being able to find Faelin was really bothering Zuko. On the three days he came to the Lower Ring hut, he always kept an eye out for her. He had a long list in hand as he spoke to people selling fresh and dried herbs and spices, teas and bamboo whisks, pottery and other supplies. Some he decided on right away for their quality craftsmanship. He could have gone to the Middle Ring Market, but he and his uncle decided they wanted to give the artisans in the Lower Ring a chance to show off their quality. He commissioned the glassblower to make clear glass teapots. His uncle had this crazy idea of having teas that opened into flowers like an art form inside a clear glass teapot. Zuko simply shook his head at his uncle's obsession. As for the herbs, Zuko bought small amounts and had those couriered to the Jasmine Dragon for his uncle to compare them and decide which the best quality herb was. He did not however spot Faelin. While in the Lower Ring and darkly clad, he was able to sneak into her usual room. She was not there.

One evening, he despaired to Mu-Tan about not being able to see Faelin and was afraid for her safety. Mu-Tan assured Zuko that just before he had come down to the Lower Ring Faelin was seen running an errand. However, she was very closely guarded by the sumo guard. It was going to be difficult for Zuko to get close to her. Zuko ached in his chest. I missed her. When he returned to the Middle Ring, he desperately needed to find ways to be occupied, distracted from his melancholy over missing Faelin.

Travahar's invitation out to a social function at the end of the week was a welcome distraction. It was a better distraction because Travahar came to deliver it himself and thus visit the Jasmine Dragon Tea shop for himself. And indeed, Travahar had to concede that Zuko's uncle really did blend the very best teas to perfection.

After dropping by the Jasmine Dragon, which impressed him greatly, Travahar traveled by cart to see his healer. Usually he had is healer come to him, but today he needed to get out of the house. Much like Zuko, Travahar needed to be doing things or he became frustrated. His healer undid the tight wrap around his chest and poked the cracked rib earning a painful grunt from Travahar. The bruising was fading minimally. The aching was persistent. The muscles were stiffening. Travahar got a lecture from his healer on salves and hot baths and stretches. He listened with an expression of boredom. Then he handed a list to the healer. The healer frowned quizzically at it. Travahar then passed over a small pouch of coin. The healer promptly headed over to acquire or make the items on the list. The healer's discretion is the only real reason Travahar kept this healer on, when he knew that Hwa Lan's father was the better healer.

With the package now in hand and silence secured, Travahar traveled to the Lower Ring. There he entered the dojo to find Mu-Tan, Ling and Bao-Li working through some very complicated and advanced moves. Travahar waited patiently, trying to memorize the fast and difficult moves. After the men bowed to each other and parted ways, Mu-Tan lead Travahar into the office for tea and to discuss matters that they had corresponded about earlier.

Mu-Tan worried over involving Travahar in something illegal like this. "Are you certain you can arrange this?"

Travahar merely smiled confidently. "Every man has a price, or so you told me. And his is monetary. I can do it for maybe an hour each day or so, but I can do it."

Mu-Tan Poured the now ready tea. "And how is she?"

"Doing better. I have brought some more supplies by request." Travahar casually sipped the hot tea.

"This is getting costly," Mu-Tan commented, unsure how Travahar felt about the expense.

Travahar shrugged. "So. At least I am doing something. I need to secure some allies… especially if our other plans are to go through. The allies at court, well… they fell through. And the Dai Li agent I had as informant turned up dead last night. I have other news. Rumor has it that the Avatar will be leaving the city for some sort of guru training. Do you know what that is about?"

Mu-Tan's eyebrows rose. He pursed his lips and then frowned. "Yes. It means I need to step up Zuko's training."

Travahar sighed with disappointment. "So, he IS your chosen apprentice. I had hoped…"

Mu-Tan reminded Travahr gently, "You have other obligations at the moment. And there are other problems in the way for you that need to be dealt with first. Zuko's situation is on a tighter time limit. And he has, in a way, the freedom to do train for this. Can you arrange for the discoveries? If they are really true."

"Do you think they are? Is it really going to happen?" Setting his cup down, Travahar leaned forward in his chair.

Mu-Tan nodded. "It is as I had feared. Kozue's message is clear."

Travahar sat back again looking into his empty cup. "I will do what I can for now. I am patient. And my cousin hasn't ruined everything yet. I guess ignorant status quo is better than ruination."

Mu-Tan nodded to that as well. Travahar headed out shortly after to pay a visit to the red lantern house he had been frequenting of late.

-----

Zuko stood in the main room staring at the invitation card he got from Travahar. It was a social function with some of the more wealthy families. They gathered for all sorts of reasons, sometimes just to show off, compete, discuss business, arrange matches for children or for no apparent reason at all but to have one. Zuko had no idea which this was. He paced the new apartment thinking.

Iroh took the invitation note from Zuko and made him sit down. "Staring at it is not going to help you think more, Nephew." He set down breakfast and a tea. "You have all day."

Zuko voice carried the edge of nervousness. "But uncle… I haven't been to one in so very long! I don't want to be an embarrassment. I don't know what this one is about. Travahar wanted someone to watch him in case of treachery, but also for intelligent company."

Iroh grinned with pride. "That is a HUGE honor. Apparently your friend Travahar is from one of the five most wealthy and influential families in Ba Sing Se. For him to trust you at his side like that… This is definitely an honor."

Zuko muttered warily, "I am not sure if I would call him a friend."

Iroh smiled to himself, "Then, it is an honor to be at the side of such a valuable potential future ally."

Zuko had not exactly thought of it that way, at least not consciously. He ate his food while his uncle sorted through the day's clean clothing. "Nephew, you have nothing appropriate to wear to this." Zuko nearly spat his tea. That was something else he had not thought about. "I will give you some money and make some inquiries. When is it?" Iroh looked at the invitation again before handing it back to Zuko who was looking like he would be swallowed by despair and embarrassment. "Relax. You have a day."

"A DAY?! ONE DAY!!" Zuko blurted exasperated. "That is NOT enough time to find a proper tailor and have suitable clothing ready! And what about the cost!! I can't go in cottons, no matter how neatly made they are."

Iroh walked into his own room seeing the usual frustrated nephew of his that he loved dearly not think things through and only fixate on the blockage. His nephew needed to relax more. Maybe it was because he had not seen Faelin. That must be it. "We will work something out. Trust, Zuko. We are in the Upper Ring now. There are many possibilities."


	43. Chapter 43: Noble Social Function

_Author's Note:_

_This chapter has been written with the assistance of Robyn Stroll, my best friend. Hwa Lan is modeled after her. _

**_Chapter 43: Noble Social Function_**

When Travahar arrived at the Jasmine Dragon to take him shopping, Zuko was more then just a little relieved. That is, he was until he got into the carriage to find that they were not alone, and in fact would be accompanied by Hwa Lan and her friend Sun Fei.

"Sun Fei has quite the eye for fashion, Lee," Hwa Lan said, with a smile. "Besides, this way we can all coordinate and choose the same style." Before Zuko could begin to ask what she meant by that, the carriage had stopped outside of a small shop in the upper ring. "Ah. Excellent. This tailor is renowned for having the best silks in all of Ba Sing Se!"

Inside, they were served tea while the mistress of the house discussed fabrics and cuts with the girls. The mistress' assistants were eventually invited to bring out bolts of cloth for their inspection, each held up to Zuko, as though he were a mannequin, or a statue.

"I don't know," Hwa Lan would say. "Which one do you think, Sun Fei?" The other girl turned her clear green eyes and looked Zuko over, considering. He prayed he wasn't blushing as he looked back at her. "Not that one, it makes him look sallow. Bring back the darker one… yes. There. It brings out the gold in Lee's eyes." Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko could swear that Travahar was trying not to snicker.

Then Zuko was made to stand while the fabric was draped over him and pinned so that the tailor would know his size. The process seemed endless, and all the while the girls seemed to be discussing him as though he weren't there. What styles would show off his body, or his complexion. Zuko could feel his cheeks were hot and gritted his teeth trying to will himself out of this state of embarrassment. "What about Travahar?" he asked, hoping to get some of the attention off of himself.

"Oh, I already have my outfit for the evening, but thank you for your concern." Travahar grinned back like a shark-lion.

When it was finally over, the tailor bowed to them all respectfully. "The vest will be ready by morning. Shall I have it sent to the Jasmine Dragon once I am through?"

_The vest? _Thought Zuko unbelieving that all that time and fuss was for just a vest. "Oh yes, please... but what about the rest of the outfit?"

"Oh, we will be going to another shop for the pants, and another for the jacket and the belts and the accessories... oh! and we mustn't forget the shoes..." Hwa Lan counted off stops on her fingers. Zuko resisted the urge to scream.

As they headed back to the carriage, Sun Fei pulled Hwa Lan off to look into the window of a nearby shop, giving the boys a chance to talk.

"This is insane," Zuko muttered.

"When was the last time the mighty Prince Zuko, ehem… Lee, went to court," whispered Travahar, grinning.

"Too long... I don't remember there being so much emphasis on… clothes... besides, aren't I just going to protect you?" Zuko asked.

Travahar raised his eyebrows. "If they didn't talk clothing with you then you must have only been a child. Clothes make a man, Lee, whether we enjoy the process or not. We're just lucky to have girls like Hwa Lan and Sun Fei who actually **want** to take care of the boring details for us," he chuckled. "Some things have changed since you were a boy. As a man, you should be ready for court to be rather more complicated. And you can't be ready for complicated, let alone protecting my back, if you don't fit in."

Feeling awkward, Zuko asked, "What do you mean by complicated? How complicated? In what way?"

Travahar smiled his all-knowing smile, patted Zuko's shoulder and simply said, "You'll see."

Over by the window, the girls were hardly as engrossed in discussing the parasols in the window as they seemed.

Sun Fei regarded the pale cream parasol. "What are you up to this time, Lan?"

"Me? Why, nothing," Hwa Lan smiled, keeping her tone quiet. "But you do like him, don't you?"

Sun Fei gave her friend a brief side glance. "That's not the point. I don't need you farming me out to him like some doe-eyed cow-deer. My father is bad enough."

Hwa Lan placed her hand on her chest and gave sad eyes to Sun Fei. "Fei, I'm injured. Would I ever?"

Sun Fei sighed. "Yes… We'd best get back before they wonder what we're talking about."

"All the more reason to delay," the other girl smirked.

"Lan!" Sun Fei tugged Hwa Lan's arm, shocked by her friends boldness.

Hwa Lan conceded, "Alright, alright..."

The group continued on to the next shop where Zuko was fitted, rather embarrassingly, for pants that would match the shirt. Then on to find shoes... and a jacket and on and on and on. The day seemed endless.

"Humor the girls," Travahar said to him, when Hwa Lan dragged Sun Fei off to buy new fans for themselves. "It makes you look both patient and respectful of them. They are doing you a favor, after all. Or did you want to do this all on your own? You could show them a little more gratitude."

Zuko thought about it, and was a little ashamed of having been so fussy with them. "How should I thank them?"

Travahar snickered, "I'm sure you'll come up with something. Come on... I think they said something about finding you a belt next."

-----

Iroh walked past the bathing room in their new apartment with a smirk on his face. It was his tenth pass, perhaps. "Nephew, you are being a peacock!"

"I am NOT," retorted Zuko as he checked himself again in the metal mirror.

Iroh paused in the doorway. "You have not missed a single spot shaving and fussing with your hair will not make it grow an inch longer in the next few minutes."

Zuko ran his fingers through his hair yet again to comb it back and scowled. It was still not long enough to tie, just long enough to look scruffy as far as he was concerned, which annoyed him greatly. His uncle came in, chuckling to himself at his nephew's nervousness about the evening, and physically shoved him out of the bathing room. "UNCLE!!"

Iroh firmly shoved Zuko into the hall. "Go get your blades. You are supposed to be a noble's finest guard and that noble will be here very soon."

Zuko hurried into his room and did a mental check. The tight black long-sleeved knit shirt from his assassin's outfit came properly down to his wrists. The rich burgundy satin vest had fine gold embroidered dragons and buttoned to his throat, but not too tightly. The black-brown loose silk pants were comfortable and tucked neatly into the quality black soft leather boots that Mu-Tan had gotten him for his assassin's outfit. The elbow-length wide-sleeved jacket was of a deep chocolate brown and cut in the style that was popular now. It was trimmed with red and gold that accent his golden eyes. He could almost imagine Faelin on his arm with her wearing a lapis blue dress embroidered in gold with deep red roses. He closed his eyes and tried to shut her out of his mind. She will not be there and likely could never be at such a function. He pulled on the black leather bracers and laced them, then slid the small stiletto daggers into place at his wrists. He moved his wrists around to be sure the bracers did not hinder mobility. These too were from his assassin's outfit. The quality, however, was so good that it fit well with the rest of his clothing for the evening. He closed his jacket over and put on the belt that held the dual daggers he had received from everyone for his birthday. They were exquisite and Travahar had mentioned that they would be suitable to wear to this social event. He wrapped the golden sash over the belt. Every item on him spoke of wealth and power, but subtly. He did not want to outshine Travahar, but he did not want to appear like he did not belong.

As annoying and frustrating as the shopping trip yesterday had been, he was glad they did it. Zuko still worried over how to thank them all. The girls who managed to put up with him and find him an outfit that was stunning and Travahar who made up the difference in cost, an amount of which Zuko still had yet to find out. He had no idea how he was going to pay Travahar back, even though Travahar refused, saying it was a gesture of friendship and was as much for his own interests to have Zuko look good as it was for Zuko's. Maybe Travahar was likewise securing a future ally?

Last were the two pouches that he tied near the daggers. One was a larger than the other. The larger pouch contained his invitation card and some coin. Iroh made sure he had some, though Zuko had no idea where it came from, probably the week's income. His uncle insisted in case Zuko needed it to leave tips, to buy small gifts or tokens, to pay geisha for their services, or to secure a ride home. His uncle even insisted Zuko take his lucky white lotus tile. Zuko did, with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes. The other smaller pouch he tucked hidden in the sash after it was securely tied. He always kept this one very close with him. It contained a small token from him mother and a lock of fiery red hair from a child so long ago… two things he never wanted to forget. He patted it reassuringly then did some bending and stretching. He made a few martial arts moves and katas. He nodded to himself when he was sure he could move well enough to fight in these fine clothes.

Iroh yelled from a window in the other room, "He's here!"

Zuko dashed from his room and down the stairs three at a time. He stopped dead still at the bottom before opening the door. He composed himself, combed his fingers through his hair again, and then took a deep breath calling forth that air of royalty like a cloak about him. He lifted his chin, opened the door and walked confidently out where he and Travahar bowed to each other. They climbed into the cart and were off. As Zuko glanced back, he saw his uncle leaning out the window waving. He turned away and silently thanked all the gods and ancestors for two things. The first was that neither of the girls was there. The second was that Travahar did not see his uncle's embarrassing behavior.

-----

From the moment Zuko stepped through the door, he felt as though he had traveled back in time to his youth, to the parties he remembered attending with his parents. Beautifully dressed people, the delicate dance of innuendo and politics, fine foods and sensual delights all offered so smoothly as to make it seem an organic part of life, as though this were no effort at all to prepare or produce for the entertainment of those present. Servants slipped through the crowd bearing trays of foods and drink so unobtrusively and so invisibly. The only difference being that here, now, he was an adult, and more people would take notice of him than they did then, perhaps an irony considering that here he was no one, and there he had been heir to the Fire Nation.

Zuko felt incredibly self-conscious at first. Did he look the part? Would he fit in? He looked at Travahar, as though to see if he measured up to his companion's example. Travahar was wearing possibly the most expensive clothes he'd ever seen since his days in court as a child - a black on black patterned silk shirt under a coat embroidered with an extravagantly detailed gold and green dragon that curled around his torso beautifully. Zuko didn't dare imagine the cost. But then again, the girls had demonstrated very good taste yesterday, and he did think he looked good in what they'd selected for him. He squared his shoulders and stood straight, determined to look every bit as confident as Travahar did. He would not be out done by him, even here, if he could help it.

It only took another minute before they were announced. "Leu Long Travahar, and Huo Long Lee of Tattoi Ryuu Dojo." _(Leu Long the Green Dragon and Huo Long the Fire Dragon)_

Zuko raised a brow and looked at Travahar. Neither had mentioned who they were to the announcer yet. Then, as one, they figured it out. "Hwa Lan."

Zuko nearly spat his words, "That girl is a demon."

Travahar grinned, bemused. "You may just be right. But she's rather good at what she does, don't you think?"

"A little too good. I'm just glad she's on our side." Zuko paused a moment. "I wonder where she got Huo Long from..." Only Mu-tan, Iroh and Faelin know him by that name, after all.

Travahar shrugged as they walked in, picking up a drink from a passing servant's tray. "Maybe she asked Mu-Tan what your family name was. Or made it up to match mine. She could have any number of reasons for having chosen it. Granted, calling ourselves dragons publicly is a little... presumptuous, but I think we can pull off declaring that we're among the highest fighting elite our dojo has to offer."

Zuko nodded but made a mental note to ask Mu-Tan about it later.

As they made their way about the room, it seemed that no one failed to notice their presence. The fact that they were dressed more stylishly than most of the guests present surely made a general impression as well. Zuko was once more made to feel grateful to the girls for all their help the day before.

Slowly, he began to remember what these courtly functions were like, what it meant to be a noble among nobles, and what it meant to know one's place in a social hierarchy such as this. He realized that the servants were not merely drifting between the guests present at the party; they were serving those of higher rank first, and working their way down to the lowest of the nobles present. The best servants knew who was more important then who, but those newer to the staff might have to rely on the quality of the clothing the guests wore, or the company they kept. So much of social interaction was trying to quietly climb up the social ladder by fooling people into thinking that you were something more then you appeared to be. He could almost imagine his uncle saying, _"The clothes make the man, Nephew."_ It made him smile, just a little bit.

It occurred to Zuko that the young people all around them were from the wealthiest and most influential families in the city, and Travahar seemed to know them all. Moreover, they seemed to follow him, like a flock of birds... especially the girls. Travahar took it all in stride, of course, conversing pleasantly and with great confidence. Zuko chose to remain quiet, acting the part of the close bodyguard without intruding into the talk uninvited. It gave him the chance to look around the room more carefully, and to be prepared just in case an attack did happen.

He made mental notes of all the people working hardest to get close to Travahar - some of these people could be allies, and others could be enemies pretending at being friends. It still amazed Zuko how much ease Travahar had with people, and how smoothly he dealt with women. Perhaps in being Travahar's guard he could learn a little more about that skill, too. Zuko also noted, just as carefully, that there were those who watched the procession of people with Travahar with great interest, and if he was not mistaken, with envy.

Finally, Zuko spotted familiar faces in the crowd, though it took him a minute to recognize them, as all the noble ladies were hiding behind fans, as was proper behavior in the courts. Hwa Lan and Sun Fei were amidst a group of people, presumably other university students, from the way they acted and dressed. Neither of the girls seemed intent on heading over to join him and Travahar, much to his chagrin. He realized, then, that they were keeping to people of their own social standing, rather then imposing themselves on nobles of higher station, at least for now. Perhaps as the evening went on, the guests would feel less constricted by social rules and mingle a little more smoothly.

Watching the girls, he was somewhat caught off guard by their appearances. While Hwa Lan and Sun Fei were never dressed shabbily when he'd seen them before, to see them in all their finery was like having the very breath stolen from his lungs. He reminded himself that they were nobility too, for all their usual boldness. This was their domain, and clearly they belonged here.

Hwa Lan wore a black gown embroidered with a delicate salamander pattern, a gold sash around her waist, accentuating her slender figure. Gold hair pins stuck out radiantly from her chestnut hair, dangling very fine little chimes. The finest hints of blue in the stitching here and there made the pattern of her dress seem to shift and move, and matched the sky and cloud patterned fan that she held hiding most of her face. Zuko swore he could see the corner of her smirk even so.

Looking at Sun Fei made Zuko's stomach clench. Her eyes met his over the golden edge of her own autumn leaf patterned fan, her clear jade eyes outlined and heart-stoppingly stunning tonight. She wore hues of red and gold that seemed to shift in the light, as though her dress were sewn of very fine scales. A subtle pattern of dragonflies was worked into the dress, adding hints of brilliant green to it here and there that only made her eyes seem all the brighter.

No sooner had he noticed the girls then a small ruckus began right behind them. "...but I want to see! They've only been talking about it all semester!" The girls' fans fluttered nervously. "Come on, dance for us! Let's see what the senior class can do!"

Just as Zuko had made up his mind to go over and silence the fellow making trouble, a few others joined in his cheer. The girls demurred after a few more moments, and gathered together. Someone ran to tell the musicians to play a different song. Travahar caught Zuko watching and murmured, "This should be good..."

Sun Fei, Hwa Lan and a few other girls from their dancing class at the university stepped out into the clearing made for them in the hall. All eyes turned on them. As the music shifted they began to move as one, suddenly all transformed into creatures of unimaginable grace. The chatter in the room had gone silent as the girls danced to a rather famous piece called 'the last leaves of the fall'. They were perfect, delicate and beautiful. Zuko felt his heart pound a little harder in his chest as he watched Sun Fei turn, catching the fan she'd tossed up into the air a moment before. Her eyes caught his, and held them for the rest of the performance. It was like she was dancing only for him.

When the music ended, he applauded with everyone else. It was a superb performance, and it was no small thing to have been present to see it. When he turned to comment to Travahar, he caught Travahar staring at Hwa Lan, and understood only too well what he saw in his friend's eyes. Zuko was fairly certain he looked much the same way when he watched Faelin sleeping.

Refreshments were brought for all of the girls, who seemed to be taking some time to relax and bask in the praise of their performance. Zuko wanted to go over to congratulate them, but he had to remain with Travahar, who was already being ambushed by people wanting his attention again.

Hwa Lan reclined in a seat, sipping a drink of iced lime cordial, fanning herself delicately.

"That was amazing," gushed the boy sitting next to her, a friend from one of her other classes and a friend of her family.

Hwa Lan took Sun Fei's attitude and commented distractedly. "Mm, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for insisting we dance like I asked you to. That was perfect. You should go into acting." She could not help smile at him for helping in her little scheming plots between friends.

"What was that all about anyhow? I mean, I understand that you might want to show off... but surely the university puts on regular recitals, doesn't it? What's the story here?" asked the boy.

Hwa Lan raised her fan coyly. "Oh, it's nothing to concern yourself with. Don't worry."

"It was to get Leu Long Travahar's attention, wasn't it? I know you too well." He spoke with a slight bit of concern in his tone.

She looked at her friend sharply over the edge of her fan, glad it was there to hide her sudden blush. "So what if it was?"

"Hwa Lan," he began, "I know you like him, but you're not high born enough to be with a guy like him. You know better than that. Your parents might be rich healers, but he was **born** noble, to one of the most powerful families in Ba Sing Se... your family just... bought its way into the nobility, and only barely. It would never work out between the two of you. And we all know how he uses women..."

"This is different. He calls me by my first name!" she said sharply.

"That could mean anything. We call children and pets by their first names, and very close friends, not just the people we love." The boy shook his head and rose to his feet. "Just try not to get your heart broken while you reach for the stars, Hwa Lan."

She sighed, watching her friend walk away. Her gaze shifted then, to watch as Travahar put his arm around the waist of some other girl as he leaned in close to murmur to her. "It may already be too late," she whispered to herself sadly.

She knew her friend was right, but she couldn't help the way she felt about Travahar. All her little tricks and games amounted to nothing in the end. She would never be a true noble, and he would never be able to take their relationship seriously. Her eyes welled up with tears as she got to her feet. She couldn't be here to watch him with the other women any longer.

Sun Fei found her way to the edge of the entourage and caught Zuko by the arm. "Hwa Lan is leaving," she told him quietly. "It is rather early for her to go..."

Zuko frowned. "Is she feeling sick? Did something happen?"

Sun Fei glanced past Zuko to where a gaggle of chatty noblewomen were falling all over themselves to get Travahar's attention, like geisha who had drunk too much sake. "I do believe something might have. Yes... I just thought that I ought to mention it, should he ask about her later."

Zuko frowned and looked back at Travahar. "Maybe we should say something."

Sun Fei considered for a few moments, and then smiled faintly behind her fan. "As his guard it is your prerogative to decide whether he is being too crowded for his own safety. Perhaps he should adjourn to the western balcony in... say, ten minutes? He looks like he needs a few moments of... peace."

Zuko nodded slowly. "What exactly are you up to, Sun Fei?"

"Turning Hwa Lan's tricks on her for a change. It will do her good. Please help me, Lee?" He only needed to look into those clear green eyes for a moment before nodding helplessly. Sun Fei touched the back of his hand with hers, and slipped away into the crowd again.

"Hwa Lan, wait!" Sun Fei ran to catch up to her friend before she could get out the door. "I need to talk to you for a moment."

Hwa Lan turned to look at Sun Fei, all the usual sunny enthusiasm gone from her face. "Fei... I really just want to go home and be alone right now."

Sun Fei spoke softly, "I know you do, but you'd be insulting our host deeply if you didn't at least go out to see his prized statue garden. I hear there's an excellent view from the west balcony... why don't you just come outside with me. We can be away from all that chatter and have a nice cup of tea."

Hwa Lan sighed. "Very well."

The two girls made their way down the hall toward the balcony and looked out over the garden below, where indeed a rather elaborate landscape was filled with statues. Work of the finest quality dotted the yard, leaving stone shapes, people and animals for onlookers to admire and discuss. At sunset it would have been all the more breath-taking to behold, with the fading sunlight seeming to change the color of the stone.

"Yes, it is rather pretty…" Hwa Lan began to say, but got no further before voices cut them off.

Travahar protested, "Really, Lee, I don't need a break from... oh... La-... Hwa Lan. Sun Fei. Good evening. I hope we weren't interrupting you..."

"Nonsense. Please, do join us." Sun Fei smiled.

Zuko thought as he looked at Sun Fei, _who looked like a shark-lion now?!_

Hwa Lan made a point of looking back down at the garden, keeping her back to Travahar and Zuko. She wasn't ready to face him. Who knew how much longer until some girl or five ran out to tackle him? She wasn't sure that she had the strength to bear it right now, not with decent grace.

Zuko looked the situation over. He could hardly imagine it getting any more tense and awkward out on the balcony. Luckily, Sun Fei came to everyone's rescue, yet again. "Lee, perhaps you could come with me to get some tea for all of us? You know so much more about it then I do, and I hear they have quite the selection here." She ushered him out quickly.

Travahar shifted where he stood, as the door to the balcony closed behind him, leaving him alone with Hwa Lan. He stepped up to the railing beside her and looked down at the statue garden. "You looked so beautiful, earlier, when you were dancing. I've never seen you move like that before."

Hwa Lan looked up at him, her dark eyes a little watery. Perhaps it was from the wind. The little chimes in her hair made their own music. "I'm surprised you could see me at all, through the crowd of girls that's been following you all night." She was instantly sorry she said it. It came out far more harshly then she had meant it to.

"I would have had to be blind to miss you," he said softly, a little nervously. "Are you cold? Here..." He took off his jacket and set it about her shoulders gently.

Hwa Lan blushed at the gesture, realizing his sudden closeness. In private, this would not have bothered her. But out here? In this environment where she felt she no longer belonged? "I'm sorry. I just..."

"They are like a garden full of roses, Lan. All of them lovely, but each one only as lovely as the one beside her. You are like a wild orchid, unique in all the world." He raised his hand to stroke her cheek gently, catching at a tear as it began to slide down her face.

Sun Fei stepped away from the curtain, a satisfied smile on her perfect lips. She returned to the little table Zuko was kneeling at not far away. "More tea, Lee? I think they might need a little longer."

Zuko grinned back at her. "More tea would be fine, thank you."

Sun Fei folded her fan and set it aside formally before reaching for the teapot that sat at the center of the table. She held the edge of her sleeve with one hand, so as to keep it from getting in the way while she poured a cup of tea for him. He realized, watching her finish pouring and then turning the cup around twice for him to inspect before she gave it to him, that she was performing a rather perfect tea ceremony, right there in the hallway outside the balcony! He hoped he wasn't blushing.

He bowed to her respectfully as he took the cup in both his hands, his fingers brushing hers for the briefest of touches before he turned the cup in his hands, to admire it properly as his part in the ceremony dictated. He then sipped from the cup deeply and bowed to her again, to thank her.

Only then did Sun Fei prepare a cup of tea for herself, again going through the same careful steps of preparing her own cup. The significance of the tea ceremony was not lost on Zuko. How could it be, with the amount of time his Uncle spent talking about tea?! A tea ceremony was slow and careful, to make both people involved feel appreciated. The ceremony reminded the participants to cherish that single moment in time as being special and impossible to ever repeat. It was a great honor that Sun Fei would choose to do this for him, and a surprise.

Together they sat in silence, and drank their tea. Zuko could not help but feel that it was a rather perfect way to end the evening, while Travahar and Hwa Lan leaned closely outside on the balcony talking.

"I'll never be noble born, like they are," Hwa Lan said to Travahar quietly.

"You're already better then any of them will ever be," He murmured to her in return, and leaned in to press his lips to hers, closing his arms about her in a tender yet indiscreet embrace for such a social function.

-----

_Is that...Leu Long Travahar? Who is that he's kissing? Oh... my... this simply will not do_. Below, in the garden of statues, one of them moved from where it had been looking up at the balcony and slipped back inside, unseen by those above.


	44. Chapter 44: Head Master Fong

_**Chapter 44: Head Master Fong**_

Travahar and Mu-Tan stepped out of the small room Zuko sometimes used above the dojo. "This is risky," Mu-Tan said with concern. "With what they already did to her…"

Travahar smiled confidently as he thumbed the pages of the small notebook that Zuko had given Faelin, though he paid no attention to the words and drawings within. He merely noted that it was nearly two-thirds full of her fine script. He snapped it shut and slipped it into a pouch he carried. "I understand the risks. And I am sure she does too. Will you just trust me a little? I am not the wayward royal boy you first started teaching."

Mu-Tan sighed. "No. You are no longer a boy. But, I have never taught you my trade…"

Travahar grinned a cocky grin. "I have my own. Like I said, money talks. These past few weeks… I have developed a report… or rather… a reputation." Mu-Tan raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Travahar hoped this reputation would not be his own undoing. He changed the subject. "So, we are both dragons then of the Noble Dragon dojo. That was funny when they announced it. Presumptuous and dangerous, but funny. Was it you who told Hwa Lan to have us announced thus? Do you think I really can hold that title? It was only a sparring ring and competition joke from long ago. Is our fire prince really a dragon? Wasn't it a bit dangerous to call him a FIRE dragon? Do you really think we are good enough? Good enough to hold such honorable titles? Will this thing you are putting him through mess him up for the competitions? We only have a little over a week."

Mu-Tan was amazed by the questions. When the word got to him from his spies that his students had been named Leu Long and Huo Long in public, he genuinely worried. These were secret names given to the boys upon their manhood rites. Almost no one knew these names. Mu-Tan wondered as well as Travahar where Hwa Lan had gotten them. Perhaps they had all underestimated her. Mu-Tan patted Travahar's shoulder and smoothly masked his own concern. Better to not let Travahar think there were more enemies than necessary. And perhaps, Hwa Lan is innocent. Mu-Tan vowed to find out how she got the names. "Travahar, you are Leu Long. You are nearly a master of Hung Gar in your own right and have some moves that are truly unique to just you. Our fiery prince IS Huo Long. Now you must learn to fight together. Earth and Fire. Such a union is very strong so long as you remember not to smother one another. Never forget that. As for this… thing I am putting him through… We begin after class tomorrow."

Travahar strode into a red lantern house. He caught a serving girl firmly by the hand. She turned to face a noble in the finest clothes and quickly averted her eyes. With his other hand he gently tipped her chin up. His charming smile nearly melted her knees. "I have an appointment with your house master." He brushed her cheek lightly with his fingers. She blushed. Then quickly remembering herself, she dipped her head in a bow of acknowledgement. As she pulled away, her hand sliding out of his, it came away with a coin. Her eyes widened a little and she quickly hid it in a pouch in her sleeve. Travahar gazed at her sleek curves as she walked away to find the house master.

"Master Fong?" The serving girl bowed low to her house master in his private office. "The noble is here to see you as scheduled for negotiations."

"Excellent. Send him in. And… Bring in some tea and sake. Our finest." He sneered with inner pleasure at this coming meeting and muttered to himself when the girl left, "There are a thousand way to ruin a man who is a small thorn in your side. The worst is to arrange for his woman to be with another man. This will be profitable on many many levels."

Tea and sake, words and gold coins were passed back and forth. Travahar felt that both too much sake and too much gold were exchanged. Fong turned out to be more difficult to please than he anticipated. Travahar ended up paying one of the highest prices one could… the same price as for one of the most expensive geisha! _She had better be worth it. This whole charade had better be worth it._ If Hwa Lan did not poison him over tea for doing this, Zuko will certainly kill him, turn him to crispy ash for sure.

Travahar was discovering that he had a great many questions now. What was in it for him? Will he receive this much help with his coup to return him to his throne? Will he be where Zuko is training to be Silver Circle? Will the Silver Circle serve the Earth Nation against the Fire Nation armies as it had in his father's time? How many Silver Circle Guardians were there? Who were they? Is Faelin really a priestess? Why is she where she is? How deep is the reach of Long Feng and his Dai Li? Did the Dai Li and Long Feng truly forbid the sacred rites and banish all the priests and priestesses? Where did they all go? What happened to them? Did they "disappear" as so many others have? His informants had turned up nothing, but then they were not the best at digging, just the few willing to do so. He needed to do more research… with people better qualified for the task. _Hmmm._ Travahar thought. _Hwa Lan and her friend Sun Fei… oh and the daughter of a scribe who handles the legal records… Yes,_ _these were better suited to finding out the information I need. If I break it up carefully, there would be no connections between the information each sought. And Sun Fei would likely jump for the opportunity to tour Zuko around the library and ensure that certain things were discovered. Yes, this would do nicely_. He handed the pouch he carried to the old waterbending woman he usually sees there. Then he called a cart and headed home.

Later that night, Fong caught Faelin by the arm in passing. "So, you have turned out to be very profitable, worth more than a geisha to do as little as a whore! A noble has offered a sum I cannot refuse." He laughed cruelly. "Any common whore would die to be you this night finding out she had a dana, a man who will pay well to have her as escort whenever he wishes. You will serve me better now than you ever had. Don't cross me or this noble. Remember the children after all."

Faelin's mouth hung open in shock. This could not be true. She felt like the air was being sucked from the hallway. Fong chastised her for showing the silver bolt in her tongue and tapped her chin to make her close her mouth. He laughed again as he walked away. _Finally,_ he thought to himself, _she is proving to be worth something._ With Long Feng in jail, he didn't have to worry too much about being caught for having a priestess under his nose. _Besides, this nobles was young, he wouldn't recognize what he had in his bed chamber anyways._

Faelin was locked in a small room in the upper floor. She wept hard that night. She wept hard for the secrets held by her silence, for not seeing Zuko, for being trapped as she is… and now more than ever, for this. What would this noble do to her? She never wanted to be bedded by another, especially now. To try to run away might mean her death, or worse, the death of the four children at the temple. Her tears soaked the pouch the old woman had given her with the notebook from Zuko. It was brought to her every night. Through her tears salting the pages, she poured her soul onto the pages as if the ink was her very life's blood. Did Zuko ever read these pages, see these pictures? Had he not seen her pleas? She was so well guarded, maybe he could not come to see her. Did he know her secrets? Some she didn't even dare write down in this book. He likely didn't know. He would have written an answer in the pages at the very least if he had. Now… now it was too late. She was going to be given to another man, some noble. Her heart ached and she wept more. This contract was so constricting!!! She wanted to scream. Her chest was tight with that desire. It is twice now that fate had stolen Zuko from her or her from him. Twice now that she was forced to break the vows she had sworn to the gods and ancestors and spirits… and to herself. She cried herself sick by morning.


	45. Chapter 45: Fatherhood?

_**Chapter 45: Fatherhood?**_

The other night went so very well, Zuko began to wonder what was going to go wrong. Things so rarely went this well for him. Then again, his uncle would say to enjoy the moment while it lasted. Zuko was very content to know he can still hold his own both in looks and conversation at court affairs amidst the politics and intrigues. It was a challenge he missed. It stirred his blood as much as sparring in the dojo. Sun Fei stirred his blood, too, but in a totally different way. Part of him was thrilled by the experience. Part of him felt incredibly guilty. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, and with another woman, while Faelin was locked away under guard in the red lantern house, trapped to be someone's slave. All Zuko had was Mu-Tan's assurance that she is fine. He wondered how Mu-Tan was going to get her to the dojo for this chakra ritual thing. Actually, he didn't really care. He was going to finally get to see her in person. Now that he was thinking of Faelin, all thoughts of Sun Fei were gone from his mind. The memory of the Noble Social Function, however, was still fresh. Now that he was in the Upper Ring, maybe he would get an opportunity to do this again. Maybe one day, he could bring Faelin. If he ever got her free from her contract. Did she even know how to behave at such a function?

He shook the whole thought process from his mind. He had to finish packing and get to the tram. He was going to pick up Ty-Min for lunch and spend the day with her. He had a list of some of the schools to stop at and see what they were like. He also wanted to take her to meet some of the people that made an impact on his life here in Ba Sing Se. He paid more attention to how he dressed, what he wore, and his general appearance. He still kept combing his fingers through his hair hoping it would be long enough to tie. Sighing, he shouldered his carry bag and walked in the brisk cool morning air to the tram. He glanced at the two lists that his uncle gave him. One was the list of schools. It had several notations, some crossed out schools for disrepute or too expensive, scribblings of fees, stars next to the ones his uncle recommended he look at. He was eternally grateful for his uncle's help. He had only ever had private tutors himself, so he had no idea what to look for in a school. Private tutors were too expensive and he did not have the time himself to teach her.

He passed by one of the older buildings and thought it looked like a temple. He blinked and stopped walking. He took a step back and turned to face the building. The structure, the architecture was remarkably similar to a temple his mother had once brought him to when he was young, before she left. There were Kami murals, statues of teachers and masters, and wooden markers with ancestral names. Behind the large mantle was the main building where Zuko recognized the three tiers to heaven. These were all the same like the temple he had seen in his childhood. He walked up the few stairs and under the large mantle flanked by a dragon and a lion. There were bonsai's and rock gardens along the path to the main building. The interior was dark but open. Here he saw more murals and statues. There was incense burning in pots of earth at the base of many of these along with some flowers and offerings. However, no one seemed to be in the temple. No worshippers chanting their prayers. No priests or priestesses milling about caring for the grounds and seeing to the worshippers. It was still a neat and clean place, but it didn't feel entirely right. At the end of the room was a large wooden grate where people can toss coins and offerings and papers with wishes down to the spirits. A heavy and thick silk rope hung from a bell many feet above the grate. To the left was a flight of stairs going up and to the right was a flight of stairs going down. A silk cord crossed each to indicate that no one should pass onto the stairs. He dug into his pouch and pulled out some coin. This was supposed to be his food money for the days away. He dropped one coin back into his pouch deciding he could eat slimly. The remaining coins he held tight in his hand and made a small wish, begging his ancestors and the spirits of this city to hear him and accept his offering. He opened his hand over the grate letting the coins clatter and tinkle through the openings into the mysterious abyss below. Then he gripped the thick red silk rope and rang the bell to get the spirits' attention.

A Dai Li agent met Zuko on the stairs outside the temple. They faced each other for a moment, a tense moment. The Dai Li agent gripped Zuko's arm and hand and pulled him away from the temple. "You should not be here. There are official times to enter the temple and this is not one of them." Then he left. Zuko found a small white lotus tile in his hand and snapped his head up in the direction of the Dai Li agent. He quickly dropped the small tile into his money pouch and wondered what this was all about. Hearing the light ring of another bell, Zuko took off at a run to catch the tram.

Zuko stepped off the tram in the Middle Ring and walked to the house where Ty-Min was staying. He fiddled with the white lotus tile in his pouch. _There were White Lotus people among the Dai Li. This was interesting._ He lifted his face to the sky feeling the pale sun warm it slightly. At least there won't be rain. He moved the white lotus tile to his smaller pouch and tucked it back into the hidden pocket behind his belt. _Temples being empty but there, regulated times with no clergy…_ Zuko had questions. He looked at the door of the small house as the sounds of running and squealing children could be heard inside. Those questions will have to wait. He knocked at the door. "HE'S HERE!!!" Ty-min's voice yelled from the floor above and he heard her thundering down a set of stairs as a man opened the door, bowed and invited Zuko inside. Ty-min slammed into Zuko's legs with her rambunctious hug. Zuko could not resist a side smile as he knelt and hugged the child back.

"Are you ready for this?" asked a pregnant woman. "If it is too much, or you need a break… my mother said she would be glad to have Ty-min over."

Was he ready? Zuko was mildly worried. This would be the first time he had Ty-min for three whole days solid with him and not have anyone really there to help. _I am testing myself. Can I be a father?_ "I'll be ok. Thank you. Ty-min will be with your mother in the evenings while I have class and prepare for the competition. But I think I can manage during the other times. We are going to look at some schools together. And… I want to show her some things I discovered when I first came here."

Zuko tried to look confident despite his uncertainty, but he did not fool this woman. She smiled as Ty-min turned and hugged her goodbye, pressing her small ear to the slight swell of the woman's belly. "The baby is not big enough yet to feel or hear. Give it a few months. And Lee," She cupped his scarred cheek with her hand. Zuko tensed with the unexpected touch. "You will be fine. It is a very honorable thing you do for her."

He blushed at the compliment and stepped back, picking up the bag for Ty-min. He took her little hand in his and together they bowed and left. The first two schools of the Middle Ring reminded him of the temple he had been to. They had the same architecture, but were now schools for smaller children. He let Ty-min run and play in one of the gardens with the other children while he looked over the curriculum and talked with the teacher and school master. At lunch, he only half-listened to Ty-min's chattering. He reminded her to not talk with her mouth full, to sit straight, to not leave her chopstick in her soup bowl but to lay them across the top neatly. He kept his tone gentle. But his thoughts were about the schools that looked like temples, yet not. He was startled from his thoughts when Ty-min tapped his hand on the table. "Can I?" she asked.

"Can you what?" he asked confused.

"Can I call you Daddy?" She smiled showing that she was missing both front teeth.

He felt suddenly very awkward. "Um… let's see how I do at the job before you do, ok?"

"Ok!" She continued eating having ignored all his earlier directions and thus needing him to remind her again.

The third school they passed he did not like at all. The children were in uniforms like at the other schools, but there was no playground and the school master was strict like a military general. He didn't want Ty-min growing up with war being her founding education as it was for him. He wanted… something different for her. He wished Faelin were there. Faelin was so good with the children. She would know more what was a good place for educating them.

As the afternoon wore on and they headed for the tram, Ty-min wanted to play in the park because she was tired of being dragged about from school to school in the Middle Ring. Zuko said no. She insisted and he said no more firmly. There wasn't really time if they were to get to her class at the dojo. He felt like that mean restrictive school master when Ty-min put up a huge fuss and he had to pick her up nearly kicking and screaming and in tears. Maybe he was a horrible father? Ty-min had yelled harsh words at him that hurt, but clung to him as she cried. Already this father thing was not turning out very good. On the tram, she quietly murmured and cried for her mama. It made Zuko's heart sink further and a lump grow in his throat. He wondered if Mu-Tan had dealt with Fong's gang or not. Perhaps he could inquire this evening sometime. Ty-min would be with her own mother now if it weren't for them. He held Ty-min close for the whole tram ride to the Lower Ring.

She had mostly recovered by the time they made it to her class at the dojo. The class went as usual. She was as good as the better students in the class, but took out her anger in her sparring. It made Zuko frown. He wanted to scold her over that, but Mu-Tan addressed the issue and she apologized to the boy whose nose she made bleed. Mu-Tan looked at Zuko with a knowing glint in his eye. Zuko wondered if this is what he was like when he was angry. It made him think. He and Ty-min had a quiet and simple dinner at ManYee's before he headed back to have his own class. His mind was full of the small and large cruel moments of his own father toward him. He worried that maybe he was being like that with Ty-min.


	46. Chapter 46: Zuko's Root Chakra Trial

_**Chapter 46: Root Chakra Trial**_

Zuko was grateful for his class and learning the new Hung Gar moves, as well as sparring with the others and Travahar. It was a welcome distraction from the thoughts of the day. He was still more comfortable with the moves of his own nation, but this was a good challenge, much like the dances of intrigue at the Noble Social Event the other night. Zuko watched Travahar sparring with someone and thought to himself that Travahar really did seem almost a master at Hung Gar. He was getting to be almost as good as Mu-Tan. He sparred with Ling and Mu-Tan now instead of with the other students. Perhaps Leu Long, Green Dragon, actually would suit him. That reminded Zuko. He had to ask about how Hwa Lan got his name, Huo Long? Thinking of Hwa Lan, where was she?

When Travahar sat for a breather, Zuko leaned over and asked why Hwa Lan was not there. "She has an exam at the university," replied Travahar through heaving breaths.

At the end of the class, Zuko was asked to wash up and meet Mu-Tan downstairs. He complied. Mu-Tan then nodded to Travahar who likewise washed up and headed out.

Dressed in some of his best quality silks of varying shades of green, Travahar sauntered into the red lantern house. He set down a pouch of gold on a tray that was taken to the house master. Within moment, the house master brought Faelin who was dressed in a thin silk gown of gold and peach. _The house masters grip on her arm was surely going to leave a bruise,_ thought Travahar. "I will take her from here." He wrapped a cloak about her shoulders and took her arm in his. She looked at him wide-eyed with surprise. "I am taking her somewhere more to my liking. I will have her back in a few hours." Without waiting for an answer, he strode assuredly out.

Faelin was still stunned. _Travahar?_ It was Travahar who had bought her time and claimed to be her dana? _What about Zuko? What would Zuko say or do? What did the womanizing Travahar have in mind?_ They walked through the cool streets. "Let's walk somewhere nice. Take me somewhere that your Prince of Dreams would take you." Seeing her frowning at him, Travahar sighed. "I have no intentions of taking advantage of you, Faelin. This is for him. Sifu Mu-Tan said you are needed for some kind of chakra ritual series for … well, you and I both know exactly who and what he is. I need to give time for the space to be set up." He was especially pleased with the new look of surprise on her face as realization dawned. "Are you up for that? Let me see your tongue." She frowned at him as she clenched her jaw. "I provided the medicines. I want to see that it healed well." Blushing with humiliation, she opened her mouth to show him. He nodded. "Good. Now, take me somewhere interesting." They walked through the dark streets to the Fountain of lights, but the lanterns were not lit. "Sorry, I can't light them like he can. When things in my life change, I promise you that I will ensure someone is hired just to make sure these lanterns are lit every night." She thought it was funny that he would make such a ridiculous promise. "You should smile more. It makes the blue in your eyes shift to something like sparkling water." She blushed as they sat by the fountain.

-----

Zuko cleaned up and met Mu-Tan downstairs. As he passed through the dojo, Ling was bringing out a large bowl of salt and boiling some water for tea. Downstairs, Mu-Tan opened a stone panel in the floor and lifted out a small black trunk. "Here, take this upstairs." Zuko carried the heavy trunk up to the dojo. Ling was setting up a Tea service in the dojo along with his own weapon, a bo staff. Zuko wondered if that was really necessary. Mu-Tan came out with a jar of green powder and a smaller second jar of some other powder. "Now, since you did not grow up with this and have not served as aid to another going through this, you will learn the process by setting up for your own rites.

Zuko set the box down and froze as he noted a strange symbol on the top of the box. A silver circle. Inside was the blackness of the box as a background, overlaid with dark red-brown wooden roots (or so it looked) that tangled and encircled a strange symbol. It looked like an inverted triangle crossed with a horizontal line. "What does this mean?" he asked Mu-tan as he pointed to the symbol.

"Do you remember our talk about the chakras?" Mu-Tan queried. Zuko nodded. "The first chakra is the root chakra, the one we will deal with tonight."

Zuko asked uncertainly, "So, this is the symbol for the root chakra?"

Mu-Tan almost laughed but remembered that Zuko never learned any of this. "Yes, and no." Zuko made a perplexed face. "The inverted triangle with the line is the symbol for earth as the root charka deals with earth."

Zuko felt even more confused. "But I thought…"

Mu-Tan interrupted, "What you think of as the symbol for earth is really the symbol for the Earth Nation, not the symbol of the actual element. Open the box. Let's get this set up." Mu-Tan then used earthbending to seal up the windows and shield the entry.

Zuko opened the box. It was a collection of things he had no idea about. His curiosity piqued like a child with a new gift that needed an explanation. He lifted out two fist-sized stones that were polished like precious gems, a red candle, a small iron bowl, a pouch with black sand, a pouch with charcoal, a pouch with herbs, a small low table painted black with legs that folded, a black zafu and zabuton, and many rolls of old silk. Mu-Tan watched as Zuko placed each item on the floor and then set the trunk aside against the wall.

Mu-Tan instructed, "We start with the cushion. Set it in the middle of the dojo. You will sit upon them for this rite. I'll tell you how when you are ready to start." Zuko did so using his best judgment and returned. He wore a small quizzical frown as he wondered how else he was to sit upon the cushion. _Sitting needed instruction?_ "Now the table. Place it not quite arm's length as you will need to reach things on the table." Zuko did this too, thinking that the folding legs were rather ingenious. He noticed now that there were divots in the top of the table and ran his hand over them curiously. The rich darkl walnut wood of the table was polished very smooth. Mu-Tan smiled at Zuko's wonderment. "Now the stones go on opposite ends of the table, the candle farthest from you and the bowl closest to you with the pouches between. Zuko gathered the items in his arms and sat gingerly on the cushion to set the table as directed. The iron bowl went in front of him with the candle just a bit further from him. The stones sat neatly in the divots on either end. One stone was black and the other a dark rusty red. He fingered them a bit. As he looked up at Mu-Tan about to ask, Mu-Tan answered, anticipating the question. "The black stone is onyx and the rust red one is a red jasper. Both are associated with the root chakra. They are also associated with protection, survival, guidance and grounding or balancing the self in the physical world. The pouches, you can empty the black sand into the iron bowl and place a piece of charcoal on it." Zuko understood. He was preparing to burn incense that was not in stick form. He opened the third pouch and sniffed cautiously. It was pungent and earthy. "Patchouli and oak moss and vetivert. They are deeply earthy scents. The oak moss is especially potent. They will help you connect and work with the root chakra."

The many rolls of silk were especially confusing for Zuko. "What are these for?"

Mu-Tan smiled. "To cover the walls and set the mood. Hang them from the pegs above the mirrors." Zuko needed a step stool, but he hung them discovering that they were banners that unrolled to touch the floor. They were black as well with a hint of that dark rust red woven in and out of the corner of his eye he kept getting a glimpse of silver but could not see it in the banner when he looks directly at it. The effect made him squint and keep trying to see it. Mu-Tan chuckled. "You will see it when you are ready to. You are not ready at the moment. Go get a cup and see Ling, then go meditate upstairs till I get you."

Zuko claimed a cup and knelt before Ling. Ling scooped three scoops of the green powder, which Zuko readily identified as quality macha green tea powder, and one scoop of the strange other powder that Zuko could not identify into the cup. Then Ling poured the boiling water and with a bamboo whisk, mixed the powder and hot water into a thick dark green soupy mixture. He instructed Zuko to drink it down in three sips. Zuko raised an eyebrow. They would have to be very large sips. He sipped once and nearly spat the foul mix out. Now he understood why he had to sip it in three sips. You didn't want this in your mouth any more often then that. He gulped the rest down in two large mouthfuls, unable to hide the disgusted look that contorted his face. Ling smirked and Zuko wondered if this was a joke being played on him like they did to green rookies in the army or navy. He stood and headed up to his small room to meditate. As he climbed the stairs his feet began to feel heavy. He sat hard on the floor when he reached his room, wondering if he had been drugged, but his mind was not fuzzy. He just felt heavy as stone, like he was rooted to the floor. _Root chakra. Of course!_ He closed his eyes and breathed deeply to calm every part of himself. _I want to be Silver Circle. It is something I can do and be if I cannot do or be anything else. I can protect people and make changes in the world. I will. For Faelin, for Ty-min, for everyone… one step at a time._

Travahar and Faelin entered the dojo. Mu-Tan met them at the door. "He is upstairs meditating. How long to we have? Are you up for this?"

Faelin nodded. Travahar quietly said, "You have about an hour at the most. Is that long enough?"

Mu-Tan: "It will have to be. Travahar, thank you."

Travahar nodded. "I can't be on the street if she is here or someone might suspect."

Mu-Tan nodded and thought. "Go downstairs. You can practice there. Do not come up till I get you."

Travahar sighed. "Darn, I was hoping to watch."

Mu-Tan recognized the joking smirk. "Personal issues. Now go on." Travahar grabbed a tea from the office and headed to the basement to explore the rooms and practice his martial arts in the larger open space.

Faelin looked at the setting of the dojo. She had witnessed these rites before and been through one herself, but never really facilitated one before. Her task was to maintain the balance. That meant if it was necessary, she would have to spirit bend and shut the chakra and the rite will have to start again. She was not to help otherwise. In fact, she had very little to do until the last chakra which dealt with the spirit world. She took a tea from Ling, sipping it down in three smooth sips and stood several feet behind where Zuko would sit and a little off to the side so Mu-Tan, who was going to kneel opposite the little table from Zuko, could see her for cues.

They took their places and confirmed that everything was ready. "You can go get him if you want." Faelin smiled. It would be her first private moment with Zuko. It would not be long, but she was willing to take what she could get.

She climbed the stairs and stood at the door to Zuko's room. She walked in quietly and knelt before him. He opened his eyes slowly, then blinked in surprise. "Faelin? Faelin!" He wrapped his arms around her suddenly. He felt her tense with nervousness and released her. He searched her eyes and opened his mouth to ask a thousand questions. She gently placed her fingers over his lips and shook her head at him. The rite was in silence. He nodded his understanding. Then he hugged her again more gently. She held him for several long breaths. She didn't want to let him go, but she did. She sat back and closed her eyes. As she breathed her tattoos began to glow softly. It was time. She stood and guided his heavy steps down to the dojo. She left him at the cushion and took her place again.

Zuko stood ready to sit on the cushion then remembered Mu-Tan saying he had to sit on it in a special way, or at least not kneel not his usual sitting meditation pose. Mu-Tan was kneeling and looked up at Zuko. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded, uncertain if he was supposed to keep silent or not. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. You will do this through the rites of the chakras. A chakra is like a wheel of light that may be open to burn brightly with strong energy or may be closed to a pinpoint barely leaking any energy. Throughout one's life, these wheels of light shift and grow or shrink. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will begin to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your personal balance… spin the wheel of light without hindrance. The first chakra will be your root chakra. It is located at the base of your spine just below you when you sit completely on the ground. It connects you to the earth and is called the root chakra for that reason. Be warmed, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Tonight is the first chakra and we will do one each night till you have worked with all seven. Are you ready?"

Instinctively, Zuko replied aloud and worried if he shouldn't have. "Yes, I am ready." Mu-Tan gestured for Zuko to sit. Zuko waited for instruction. None came. He thought about what Mu-Tan had said about the chakra. Then he sat cross-legged with his bottom on the cushion. It was not his usual position and felt a bit odd, though not uncomfortable. He still felt very heavy and was glad to now be sitting. Ling stood and created a circle of salt around the interior perimeter of the dojo.

Mu-Tan waited till Ling was done. "The element for this chakra is earth. The colors are black and deep earthy reds and browns. Light the candle and the charcoal and we will continue." With a small bit of firebending, Zuko lit the candle and the charcoal. He went to put some of the herbs onto the charcoal and paused. Mu-Tan nodded. "Go ahead. These are patchouli and oak moss and vetivert. Herbs that are strongly associated with both earth and the root chakra. Breathe in their scent."

Zuko sprinkled a large pinch onto the charcoal. A billow of heavily scented smoke rose and he nearly coughed. It was very earthy and he felt even more strongly rooted to the ground. As he breathed and calmed himself to fully experience what he was feeling, to be aware of it, he felt a tingling in the center of his body where his bottom met the cushion, at the base of his tailbone.

Mu-Tan went on with his guidance. "Each chakra in our bodies has a purpose and can be blocked by a certain kind of emotional hindrance. The root chakra deals with survival… and is blocked by fear. What are you most afraid of? Let your fears become clear to you." Mu-Tan glanced at Faelin who watched Zuko with calm, though her brows knit slowly together as the energy built within the room along with the temperature. Ling gripped his bo staff in case he need to move to incapacitate Zuko quickly.

Zuko opened his eyes and thought the room was bathed in shades of black and red-brown. He could not move. His breath came faster. There was no one in the room. Was he even in a room? He felt like he was in a cave and sitting on fresh black earth. Images swirled on dark banners around him. Mu-Tan's words echoed, "What are you most afraid of? Let your fears become clear to you." Images began to swirl and materialize before Zuko. He was uncertain of their reality.

_Lightening shot from Azula's hand through the dust striking his uncle who fell to the ground. Zuko yelled with fury, "NOOOOOO!" and called the flames about him to strike back at Azula. But the image before him shifted and he was kneeling before his uncle's body, not yet sure whether he would live or die. He clenched and unclenched his fists not knowing what to do as the fear of losing his uncle tore at him. He brought his fists to his face to hide the angry frightened tears streaming down his cheeks._

_When Zuko looked up he found all the banners were a deep blood red. He was sitting on the stone floor of the Agni Kai hall. He could hardly breathe as the memories flooded him mind. He squeezed his eyes shut but the sounds were still there of all the people around. His breath came fast. He looked up dreading what he would see. His father stood before him. He begged aloud, "__Please, father, I only had the fire nation's best interest at heart! I'm sorry I spoke out of turn!" But his father's harsh words slammed into him, "You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." A blast of fire engulfed him and he screamed and screamed with the pain._

Mu-Tan spoke softly but firmly, "Zuko. Zuko. The visions you see are not real. You are concerned for your survival. But you must surrender those fears. Let the fire of those fears go out and flow away with the smoke." Mu-Tan watched Faelin whose tattoos glowed strongly. The images of what Zuko was experiencing illuminated on the dark banners. "Let it go, Zuko. It is over and you no longer need to hold onto that fear. Let it go."

Zuko's panting became fast breathing that slowed as he shakily regained self-control. The image of his father extinguishing into smoke as the candle went out. As he breathed the tingling at the base of his spine became stronger and felt as if he himself was filling with red warmth and energy. He opened his eyes when he felt confident to do so. The cool air in the room chilled the sweat on his body and face.

Mu-Tan smiled at Zuko. "You have faced and opened your root chakra."

Zuko felt relieved. More so as he realized that he is no longer the boy his father had burned but a man… and that while he acted dishonorably to earn that scar, he would probably do it again because deep inside, he knew he was right. His father… was wrong and he no longer needed to fear him. A frown furrowed his brow. He shook his head. He was not ready for that thought. When he looked up, Mu-Tan had brought Zuko some more of the soupy green tea to drink. He swallowed it in three fast gulps. Mu-Tan then placed each stone into Zuko's hands. Their weight helped bring the room and the reality of this world into focus. He squeezed them and then placed them back onto the small table himself. To his surprise, the banners looked more red than black and the silver he could not really see before formed the earth symbol he had seen on the trunk.

Mu-Tan gestured to the office and stairs. "Go upstairs and relax for a bit. I will see that Faelin gets home safe."

Zuko paused at the stairs, "Don't let me sleep. Ty-min is with me for the next three days. I need to go get her for bed." Mu-Tan nodded and gestured for Zuko to go up. Zuko dragged his heavy feet up and collapsed on his bed mat. His eyes closed and thick sleep seized him. He didn't even know if Faelin had come in to say goodbye or not.

Mu-Tan hurried down the stairs and called Travahar up. Travahar came and offered a cloak to Faelin. She took it. She looked tired. Travahar escorted her back to the red lantern house. In the entrance, he took her into his arms. She tensed and was about to struggle. He kissed the top of her head and released her. "Till tomorrow," he whispered. He bowed to the sumo guy on his way out and home.

Zuko was woken shortly after. He was still exhausted. He managed to drag himself to his old apartment with Mu-Tan walking with him. ManYee was there tucking Ty-Min into Zuko's bed. She smiled and bowed to the two men as she left. "Will this be going on long? As in every night?"

Mu-Tan chuckled. "For the next six or seven days. I hope we are not inconveniencing you too much."

"Oh no, she is a lovely child. But she is only here for another couple days." ManYee was about to leave when she saw that Zuko was practically asleep in the chair. "This will not do." Her and Mu-Tan got Zuko into bed and under covers. Then they left as the two youngsters, at least according to Mu-Tan and ManYee, slept deeply and soundly.


	47. Chapter 47:Child Fight

_**Chapter 47: Child Fight**_

Ty-min woke as the sun rose and crept quietly over to Zuko's room. She had been set to bed in Iroh's old room. She found Zuko face down still asleep. She giggled with her hands over her mouth to muffle the sound. She got onto her belly and crawled to his bed mat. She reached over still with muffled giggles and poked him. He stirred a little but did not seem to wake. "Lee?" she asked in a hushed whisper. "Lee?" She sat up, plotting. "Are you awake?" Zuko cracked his eyes open to see a gleeful five-year-old girl looking all disheveled from sleeping, her eyes bright with mischief. His eyes flew open as he threw up his arms in defense. "YAY! YAY! YAY!" yelled Ty-min as she pounced upon him. "You ARE awake!!"

As revenge, he pinned her down among the blankets and tickled her till they were both laughing and she began to squeal and shriek and giggle loudly… much like his mother and he would end up in early mornings when he was her age. He gathered Ty-min into his arms after and hugged her. "I guess you want breakfast?" She nodded. "Bath first." She pouted and he shooed her into her room where he prepared a quick bath for her.

After her bath, Zuko took his own bath. He ensured they were decently dressed, better than Lower Ring refugees. Then, He brushed the tangles out of both his own and her hair. Her hair he tied into a horse tail. It was too short to braid, yet, but at least she can have it tied back. He lamented inwardly about his own hair still not long enough. _Stop being such a peacock,_ his uncle's words echoed in his mind. Does being noble mean he had become vain like Travahar? He sighed and prepared a brief breakfast for them both. Ty-Min complained that the breakfast was bland. He promised that other meals would be better. Then, he silently cursed that he didn't retain enough personal funds for better. He'd have to get creative. _Oh gods… creative cooking. Worry about it later!_

Zuko taught Ty-min the morning routine of meditation followed by katas. As they walked on the errands he had to do for his uncle, he drilled her on counting and letters. He taught her some simple songs his mother had taught him to help him remember things. They had an early and light lunch at the Fountain of Lights where he told her about how to watch people and what behavior was appropriate and not. They even explored some of the schools in the Lower Ring. Zuko made notes next to his uncle's notes on the schools list.

By early-afternoon, Ty-min was tired and cranky. She picked a fight with a boy that was teasing her in the schoolyard they were last visiting. His back was turned for a second. The child battle was made nastier for her using her martial arts and then even nastier when she slammed a rock into the boys face. There was blood. This was humiliating as he dragged her off the helpless boy. He shook her a moment to get her focused on him. "We will talk about this later," he said in quiet ferocity. She stood with great stubbornness. Much apologies had to be made. This was beyond embarrassing. That was definitely a school they would no longer be able to consider. He picked her up and carried her home. He was so angry he could not, nor would not allow himself to speak to her nor touch her any more than he absolutely had to. He knew his own temper. While Ty-Min had certainly deserved some sort of punishment, he did not want to do it in his own father's manner. She needed discipline, not brutal punishment. They just had a talk about behavior. _This father thing was NOT easy. Gods, where was Faelin and her bottomless patience with a child?_

He deposited Ty-min with ManYee as a message came for him. Sun Fei was inviting him to an afternoon at the university. Travahar had to do some research and wanted some help. Sun Fei had accepted and wanted Zuko to come along. It would be a great opportunity for him to see the university. He promised ManYee that he would be back for dinner. She reminded him that he had his own dojo class. He groaned, then he remembered that he didn't that day, just the private practice in the evening and the next chakra ritual. He asked if ManYee would come over to watch Ty-min once he put her to bed. Of course ManYee agreed. He bowed graciously to her and thanked her.

The tram ride back to the Upper Ring gave him time to clear his head and let go of his anger before meeting Sun Fei.


	48. Chapter 48: Secrets Revealed

_Author's Note:_

_The section with Sun Fei & Zuko was co-written with the help of Robyn Stroll._

_**Chapter 48: Uncovering Secrets**_

Travahar sent messages to Hwa Lan and to Sun Fei and to the record keeper's daughter. He had to be careful. None knew he was the true prince gone missing. He thought back to that day. _His father practically dragged him to a carriage. His mother kissed him and quickly pulled up her hood. His father told him it would be safer this way, that the court intrigues were about to get dangerous with the siege starting. He was taken away to a loyal noble household with new papers and a new name. Their son had recently died of an illness and was the same age. He took their son's place. He had cried for days missing his parents. He recovered under the great love of his new family. They did their best to raise him as a prince while still instilling in him the need for secrecy. _But, now Long Feng was in jail for… for what? Some sort of traitorous act. Something about Lake Laogai was the rumor. The avatar had exposed him. His "mother" had asked that he keep quiet about the avatar for some reason. That meant there was more court intrigue there, and that his cousin was going to possibly meet a terrible fate. Travahar needed information soon. While he did want to have a coup against his cousin and re-establish himself on the throne, he did not hate his cousin and didn't want to see his cousin hurt. The man was a nice enough fellow, just a lousy king and ruler. _Followers are not good leaders._

So Travahar reviewed the list of the things he needed answers to. _Silver Circle. Who were they and how many were they. What were their roles here in Ba Sing Se and how can they be useful again? Didn't Mu-Tan hold the title of Dragon of the East? That meant he was on the wall during the 600 day siege. What really happened? Why did he retire so suddenly after that?_ He felt he should be asking Mu-Tan these questions, but whenever he tried, Mu-Tan became stoic and told him to mind his own business and worry about his own status. Yet in seeking this information, wasn't he doing just that?

He stood before a mirror holding a tunic in front of him. Then he moved a second tunic in front of him as he was trying to decide which to wear. _And the priestess…. Why was she an indentured servant? Why was it forbidden for her to practice? What about the temples? Most of them were now schools, orphanages, and transformed into other places, like the Jasmine Dragon was now a Tea House. Zuko probably never knew that it was a temple._

Among other questions were the concerns of Lake Laogai. He wanted to know more about this rumor. He wanted to go there and see for himself what it was. And, this bit of history that Mu-Tan wanted him to ensure Zuko discovered… _the history of Sozen's comet. Why was that so important? He knew it was the start of the 100 year war. But what else? What had Kozue discovered while infiltrating the Fire Nation. And if she was so good at what she does, why doesn't she just assassinate the damnable Fire Lord herself?_ He sighed and tossed both tunics aside and chose something soft and mellow, a tunic of new grass green, nice and deceptive. It makes one seem gentle and meek, despite their potential and unseen venom.

Travahar decided to tackle this carefully. His first notes out to these women were simple, inquiring if they would help him do some research. He claimed he was having a contest of knowledge with his sifu, Mu-Tan. At best, they would all agree to help him and he would have all the answers he wanted in short order. At worst, they would at least give him leads to where he could find out more, for he had no doubt in his mind of their willingness to help him. Hwa Lan's affection for him would guarantee her aid. She will pound him into the mats or give him a slow poison when she finds out he used her. Sun Fei will jump at the opportunity to be with Zuko. He opted to not inform her of Zuko's undying love for Faelin. He also hoped Zuko might learn that love is fickle and a guy can enjoy more than one girl till he decides to truly marry and settle down. If he gets called on it, he will deny any and all knowledge that Zuko was involved with someone, essentially claim ignorance. It will be like standing in a mudslide, but better than trying to stand on water. The record keeper's daughter was infatuated with him. It was cute, but she was young and he was not remotely interested. She would help because he asked. _Charm was a wonderful tool. Zuko ought to learn it someday. It would do him good and gain him more … well… just more._ Travahar chuckled to himself. This was going to be a whole different type of spying and political intrigue, all part of the game of thrones, a Pai Sho gamble. He just hoped no one got killed in the end, namely himself or Hwa Lan.

He sent another message asking an old man for another lesson in Pai Sho so he could hopefully learn to beat his mother or father at the game.

-----

Hwa Lan was overwhelmed with studies and examinations. Travahar was disappointed, but understood. She did agree to help him collate his notes after. Travahar was uncertain that was wise. She was very sharp and would likely see where this was leading and then who he really was. He liked her, perhaps more than he should. He didn't want to drag her too deep into things she might not understand or likely could not defend against. It was better that she focus on her studies. Now he felt safe she would not pound him or poison him. She was out of the picture of his research. However, he grinned to himself that he might go find her and distract her from studying for a bit. Push and pull. Push and pull. He should have been a waterbender.

Sun Fei readily agreed as he has expected. History was her main focus at the university, so this task was right up her alley. Sozin's comet. He needed info on it and suggested she tour Zuko about the university and conscript him to help her seek all they could on the information. Travahar grinned at how well that was going to go.

He walked lightly to an older tea house that was often holding Pai Sho tournaments and had free tables for casual play. He was to meet an old man who had been giving him great information… about Pai Sho of course. He saw the man in the back corner where he usually sat sipping tea. As Travahar entered the old man looked firmly to someone and nodded. An off duty Dai Li agent stood and intercepted Travahar, blocking his escape. No blades were drawn, not in public, but stone quietly wrapped around Travahar's wrists and the agent guided Travahar to a back room.

-----

Zuko stepped off the tram and took a deep calming breath as he looked around for Sun Fei, feeling a bit awkward. He took another deep breath reminding himself that he is as noble, if not more so than she. He raised his chin and squared his shoulders. He found her standing by the gate, looking after the tram. The wind played with a loose strand of her long dark hair, trailing it about her. She reached up with one hand to tuck it neatly back into place, as she turned and spotted him. She smiled softly as their eyes meet across the distance.

She bowed as to an equal. "Good afternoon, Lee. How are you today?"

He gave her a respectful and honorable bow, restraining the urge to run his fingers through his hair for the millionth time. It was just long enough to fall annoyingly into his eyes. "I am very well, thank you. I am glad you invited me along. I am not sure how much help I could be, though."

"Having an extra set of hands and eyes while doing research can be invaluable." She turned her head to catch the sun in her face and bask in it a moment.

"Travahar should know better than to get into debates with Sifu Mu-Tan." Zuko stifled the urge to smile, the corner of his mouth quirked up on the scarred side just a bit despite his effort.

She smiled faintly. "Your Sifu sounds like a very interesting man, if what Hwa Lan has told me about the dojo is true."

"He is very knowledgeable and a hard task master. It is an honor to be under his tutelage." Zuko did not voice the next thought, that despite how sometimes he is overwhelmingly frustrated by some of the things Mu-Tan had asked him to do or the lack of reason as to why till after.

Sun Fei tilted her head coyly so she could glance sideways at Zuko. "Well, I can certainly see why Travahar would be trying to do some research if he is to win this contest. Shall we? I hear tell that you've not even had a chance to tour the university yet."

"I have hardly had a chance to tour the Upper Ring." He clenched his teeth at himself for potentially indicating that he was a lesser man. He kept his eyes from her, embarrassed that he himself may not be equally dressed, either.

"Having only recently moved to Ba Sing Se, I'm certain that there is a good deal you have not seen yet." If she has noticed he was dressed like a man from the Middle Ring, she had not said or indicated as much. She was careful with her words. He breathed a bit easier. "Maybe on a different day, when there is less to be done, we can go on a small tour of the Upper Ring," she suggested. He nodded without official commitment as he gave her a small side glance. Sun Fei hoped that she hadn't sounded overly eager. She fanned herself as they walk, perhaps to seem more proper among the other nobles of the Upper Ring, and perhaps to hide the fact that she was blushing just a little bit now. "So, do you know anything about the comet, or were you simply drafted into this like the rest of us?" she asked.

Zuko almost chuckled, and cleared his throat instead. "With Travahar, does one ever really have a choice?" He smirked. "I know the comet is called Sozen's comet after the Fire Lord Sozen over 100 years ago and that it gave the Firebenders great strength with their bending skills. The war started on that day..." He looked like he was about to say more but snapped his mouth shut.

She raised a brow. "Well, that could give us a few different places to look into besides just the comet itself... excellent. Are you... very interested in history as well?"

"I have had some of it drilled into my brain brutally by private tutors." He clenched a fist and forced himself to remain stoic. His mind worked frantically at how NOT to give himself away under her questioning curiosity.

She didn't comment, but did notice the gesture. It appeared very much that Lee had been badly treated by his family... or perhaps by the war itself. Anyone with such a scar had to have been attacked by a firebender at some point, of course.

"I am not very good at remembering inane things like dates and names and laws and such. They are written down for a reason, so people don't HAVE to remember them in detail." He frowned at the possibility that his tone was harsher than necessary. "So, um, how long has the university been part of Ba Sing Se?"

She hesitated. That was a stupid question. Anyone of the Earth Nation knew it had been part of of Ba Sing Se since the city's founding. It was the most famous part of Ba Sing Se. "It... history is a joy to learn, at least for me... Its not all the dates and details, so much as knowing how the world came to be the way it is... The university has been a part of Ba Sing Se since the city's founding." Her tone was skeptical, uncertain. _How could he NOT know?_

A man rushed past, a Dai Li agent, knocking over an old woman who was walking by the two of them. Zuko reacted without thought to catch the woman and steady her with one hand, his other automatically going for a sword that was not at his side.

Sun Fei frowned, looking first to make sure that the old woman was alright, and then after the running Dai Li. "That is highly unusual..." she said very quietly.

Frowning for a second, he apologized for the rudeness of the man, asking the old woman if she was alright, then bowed respectfully to her and turned away to allow her the dignity of regaining her composure. To Sun Fei he replied, "unusual... it is poor training. There was plenty of room to dodge us all. He could have really hurt her, unnecessarily." His reaction speed was astonishing as was his incredible gentleness for the old woman and his sensitivity to her dignity.

She nodded her agreement, worrying over what could make the Dai Li behave that way. She then looked at Zuko. "Your training shows... you moved so quickly."

"I've trained all my life." _And done little else_, he thought to himself.

Sun Fei found it interesting how he had gone by instinct for a blade when he should be a martial artist; few nobles are instinctual with a blade.

Zuko wondered aloud, "I thought the Dai Li were supposed to be invisible within Ba Sing Se."

Sun Fei maintained a light conversant tone. "Were you training to be a soldier? ... and yes, they are meant to be invisible... something very large must be going on if they are being so reckless..." He seemed in deep thought as he was trying to see how he could answer this. Sun Fei remarked, "We should get to safety."

He gifted her with one of his rare small smiles, "You are safe with me." She colored visibly, looking away as her cheeks got hot. He had deftly dodged answering her question.

She looked around for a moment. "Did you... still want to continue on to the university?"

"Yes." After a moment, he corrected his curtness, "Yes, we promised to help Travahar." And, he was curious as to how the Earth Nation portrayed the incidents of the start of the war. She nodded and continued to lead the way through the city to the university, mind racing at what might have caused the Dai Li to act the way they had.

"What do the Dai Li actually represent? What is their function and duty here?" he voiced curiously, remembering all the small incidents he had with the Dai Li and the shocking discoveries he found in Lake Laogai. "I mean, I heard that Long Feng, who ran the Dai Li, was arrested for likely treason." He had opened his mouth again to say something more on that and again snapped it shut and looked straight forward avoiding looking at her.

_Did Lee grow up under a rock?_ Thought Sun Fei. _Had he really been so sheltered as to not know any of this? _"The Dai Li exist to protect us from exterior threats to the city... They also work to protect the royal family. Long Feng oversaw their activities and reported to the Earth King as to what was going on within the city."

Zuko nodded with a frown. His eyes watching everywhere discreetly for every Dai Li agent in hiding that he knew he could spot, since he knew what to look for. He made sure they each saw him see them. Sun Fei continued on unaware, in direct contrast to his alertness. It was as though she was deliberately trying NOT to see. His walk, though smooth, spoke of an experienced warrior, his alertness of an experienced hunter, or prey. He still never answered her earlier question, inwardly hoping she was like other nobles and forgot it.

_Well, if he __**had**__ been training to be a soldier, then it might explain his watchfulness and instincts._ She herself didn't want to know, as most noble born women wouldn't. War is the affair of soldiers and men, not women and scholars. Perhaps she could ask Hwa Lan. She seems to know everything. Though Sun Fei was still a very intelligent girl studying history, a field that is usually the field of men, she noted that he was evading the answer to her query. There must be a reason why, and it would be rude to ask directly. She would simply find a more subtle way to learn more about Lee and this intriguing aspect of him.

"How, how did you come to be studying in the field of history? None of my tutors were women, and women that I know usually do not bother or are forbidden from such study" Zuko dodged carefully with his own questions. Then he winced at how tactless that was, how bold and rude his question was. He wished he could retract it, cursing himself silently. He could handle all the political intrigue talk with anyone else, but with her he felt a little off balance. He never had training in the fine arts with women after all. Tact of this kind eluded him.

She chuckled faintly. "I suppose that I am not quite a common woman, then. I took to history because even as a child I was fascinated by the origins of things, customs and people. I suppose the progression from true stories to history was, well, natural."

"You are definitely not a common woman," he said quietly.

She glanced at him sidelong, smiling faintly. "Thank you." He turned his head to avoid her eyes as a bit of color showed on his own cheeks. "Ah, so the dragon of fire has crimson in the skin as well," she teased gently. That caused him to blush more and he strained not to look shy. She fluttered her fan, leading him up the final steps to the university campus. "Here we are... Ba Sing Se University."

"You'd do well to forget that name," he said almost flatly.

"Should I? Is it not an honor to be named a dragon by your dojo?"

"Yes... but..." His eyes met hers for a moment on those steps close enough for her to catch the color very clearly and he looked away. "I have yet to prove my worth of it." A quick answer to avoid the true answer.

_An odd color of eye, for someone of the earth kingdom._ She paused in her thoughts. "I am certain that you will, given the opportunity." This was an interesting dance that had the hint of danger to her, danger and mystery.

Zuko admitted, "Travahar is far better in sparring than I, and has far better control."

Sun Fei walked up the steps cragefully. "I have yet to see him fight as well."

"I am sure he would bring you to the dojo to watch." Though he was not specifically inviting her himself.

Sun Fei shrugged. "I am... less interested in watching him flex and strut about then perhaps some others are."

A little frown came on his face, one that does whenever a controversial thought came to his mind. "Do you know where Hwa Lan got the names that were announced for me and Travahar?" he asked, trying to look casual about the question.

Sun Fei shook her head. She had wondered as well. "No. I suppose I don't. I had imagined that she got the names from your Sifu... Believe it or not, she doesn't tell me everything."

He observed the architecture of the building like a knowledgeable assassin noting ever shadow, ever corner, every foothold, memorizing the layout as they walked. Sun Fei led him toward the library tower, bowing politely to the odd person about that she might know, rather formally. "I thought girls... ehem, I mean women, shared all things with each other." He kept his chin high as royalty might and dipped his head just respectfully to those passing him.

She laughed softly. "Perhaps as a child we do... less so as we grow older."

"I am sorry, I didn't mean..." Clearly he was off balance now and stumbled over his own poor verbal etiquette.

"Tha's alright…. I can't expect you to know all the mysteries of womanhood, after all," she teased.

He sighed and under his breath said, "More like almost none."

Gently, she said, bemusedly, "Very few men do."

He stopped as this conversation, which had put him off balance, interrupted his memorization of the layout and he looked back to remind himself before continuing on with her. His cheeks colored again but he kept his expression schooled. Sun Fei stepped inside the cool shadows of the stone tower and began to lead him up to the library, lifting the front hem of her skirt delicately so as not to trip over it. "This is where I spend the majority of my time," she smiled. "While you, Travahar and Hwa Lan are training your bodies, I train my mind." Sometimes the way he looked about made it seem like the notion of a university was completely foreign to him, yet he was clearly noble and clearly educated. She reminded herself that he said he had private tutors. He kept a step behind her with his arm on the rail. In case she fell, he could easily catch her.

She led him through a pair of double doors and into the high-vaulted chamber of the university's library, smiling a little brighter, simply to be there. It was her place of comfort. It was far easier to forget the troubling instance of actually seeing the Dai Li now. Zuko's mouth formed an OH! of awe at the library as though he had never seen something so extensive. She beamed at his reaction. She let him have the moment to look around.

_The Fire Nation never had anything like this._ In his mind he was already plotting out where in the capitol one could be built, and scratched it to imagining it on the outskirts in a more neutral area, where it could be a university for all nations. "Can anyone attend this university?" He spoke without thinking, "Such a place should be available to all nations."

"Well, no... one must be an Earth Nation citizen, or else have royal permission to attend..." She stopped. "Letting anyone have access to this knowledge could be dangerous. Who knows what one could do with what they might learn here, how they might twist it to their advantage?"

"Knowledge should not be twisted, but used to help nations grow in wisdom," he said firmly. He almost chuckled to himself, it would certainly explain why so many Fire Nation people lacked such cultural wisdom, there was nothing there to remind them or help them respect their heritage, which was now essentially lost. An almost sad look crossed his face. "Tutors are narrow-minded. A nation raised on just tutors loses their heritage as politics defines what gets taught and what doesn't. Something as beautiful as a small tradition or craft could be lost for all time."

"That is true..." She is unsure how to react, given that he'd admitted to never having studied, he certainly seems to have strong feelings about education. "The... the books on the comet should be this way..."

He shook his head to get back on track, "Right... Travahar's quest." He sighed a heavy sigh, inwardly vowing that if he ever became Fire Lord there were going to be ALOT of changes happening. He also quietly worried over what his mouth was betrayed him with. This university, this library was so awe-inspiring, more so from the inside than from the outside the first time he spotted it.

She led him to the side of what seems to be an endless wall of books, exchanging a few words with the librarian to let them know that she is a student here. The Librarian then earthbended a small set of stairs to allow Sun Fei and Zuko access to the books at a higher level, apparently the information on the comet is slightly restricted.

Zuko almost hesitated before climbing the stairs, feeling uncertain now that he knew there was an earthbender there in the library. His eyes darted along titles quickly as he climbed the stairs, though. She seemed utterly unperturbed by this. She must see it all the time, after all. She walked along to a particular section and read the spines of the books, searching. There were several books on the history of the war from various perspectives, astronomy and the catastrophes that ensued, as well. She began to pull them off the shelf and hand them to him to hold. "We can begin with these. There is a table over there." She pointed roughly in a direction to a quiet secluded library research table.

Zuko juggled the books and settled them more securely in his arms. "Do you know exactly what we are searching for?"

"Not exactly, no. Do you?" She pulled down another couple titles.

He held his arms out willingly to hold the growing pile of books "No... What was it Travahar asked you? The comet information?" He was quite strong, stronger than he looked for the weight of so many books in his arms. He was very graceful and sure footed as well. When he reached the bottom of the stairs and the table, he placed the books down almost reverently. He thought back to how his mother had loved books. In a fit of anger though, his father had burned the small library he and his mother enjoyed.

"He simply asked that we find information on the comet that you could bring to him at the dojo later." Sun Fei slid into place beside him at the table, and selected a book. "I'll start with this one. You can start with another and then we can compare notes?"

He nodded his understanding then he blinked a moment. "Notes? I have nothing on which to take notes." He was clearly not a scholar.

"Ah. I believe I have some extra paper that you can use and a quill..." She takes out paper and a short quill for him, setting them on the table between them, along with a small phial of dark ink.

He mentally lamented that this was going to be like his tutoring sessions when he had been trying to remember a ton of stuff. Humiliated and humbled, he thanked her quietly. He began in one book, flipping quickly through the pages stopping now and then. Sun Fei saw that when he noted things, he noted title, author, page and key words... and his penmanship was exquisite even for note-taking… and fast. He read fast and took notes quickly and accurately sometimes in some kind of shorthand. She likewise worked quickly and precisely, speaking little as she worked her way through the books. Her notes were succinct and clear, in a fine, tight script. She had a class last semester on political codes and observed the various old notes and messages that were captured during the 600 day siege. Upon glancing over at his notes, she saw that he used a similar code for shorthand... a Fire Nation code… not for everything, but for some more complex ideas. She frowned faintly, before carefully schooling her features into a mask of neutrality. _Fire Nation shorthand? But why? The scar, the title from the dojo..._ it began to add up in her mind, little by little, and she did not like where it was leading her.

He was clearly lost in what he was discovering, part fascinated, and part horrified. He himself never really knew why the war got started, no one did, but the how most people knew. However, it was news to him. He knew the comet had come and given great power to firebenders. But, he did not know exactly how much great power it gave nor how Sozen used it to conquer, more like obliterate, the local villages and claim greater and greater territory. He read about how that lust for that power drove Sozen to desire to conquer nations and the atrocities that occurred in the beginning of the 100 year war. He stopped suddenly. He crumpled up his notes and marched out like he had been stabbed in the gut.

"Lee?" Sun Fei looked up, picking up the crumpled notes quickly, before hastily following after him.

Zuko could not believe what he had read. He could not believe what had been kept hidden from him. Outside the library, he leaned his back on the cool wall with his hands over his face, wishing he had not read. The water tribe in the south was almost nothing, not a small village he came across. It was all that was left. No wonder the water tribe girl with the avatar and her brother hated him so. Their large nation in the south was pretty much wiped out an enslaved by his great grandfather's, his grandfather's and his own father's actions. And worse happened to the Air Nomads.

"Lee?" she said softly, when she caught up to him at last.

He breathed heavy trying to get himself under control as his mind whirled still with what he read. He felt burried alive. "Maybe we've done enough for today," she said gently. "It is not light material."

In a whisper, he asked as though shocked, "this is what has been happening for 100 years? These… these... dishonorable cruelties?" He knew what he had seen and the cruel discovered he found as he wandered alone. _But for 100 years? It wasn't glory. There was no glory in massacres or genocide, no honor in slaughtering children and helpless people. The Air Nomads were extinct, not because some plague as he had learned, but because the Fire Nation hunted down every single one and had them killed._

She nodded slowly, not even questioning why he doesn't know. She was fairly certain she had an idea why now. "These and more," she said quietly. "If you ever venture into the Lower Ring, you will see how many refugees there are. People come to escape the war. They had nothing left before coming here, I've heard... and some… some have lost family too..."

His hands fisted, his jaw clenched, and fire lit in his eyes. "It must stop. It MUST stop... HE must be stopped. It is MADNESS. And the comet is coming again?! MADNESS!"

She blinks at his outburst, taking a half step back. "Lee..."

"I came in with those refugees," he spat. "I know some of it... but I never knew all that, nor that the comet would come again... I am NOTHING." And he hurried down the steps of the tower; fire was clear in his eyes a moment ago. When he called himself nothing, it was gone, replaced with the deepest guilt, guilt of generations as far he was concerned.

It was the most emotion Sun Fei had ever seen out of him, both dangerous and tragic. She stood perfectly still, uncertain with how to react. _So this... this is the exiled fire prince... and all the while he'd never known what his own family had brought upon the world._

He can't end up home in this state, not to Ty-min, not like this, and he knew it. When he does get to the Lower Ring, things will look so very different.

Sun Fei regained herself a moment later and hastened after him. "Lee, wait." She knew he had a small child at home, Hwa Lan and Travahar had mentioned that he had the child three days a week. "Lee!" She ran across the campus grounds, as others turned to stare. She caught up breathlessly; a few strands of hair came loose. She can't let him walk around alone in such a state. He could ... who knew what he could do?

So many other pieces and thoughts were crashing into his mind. The story from the glassblower, the incidents with the boy Lee (whose name he stole), the hatred in the young water warriors eyes…. That boy who stood alone in the frozen little village, he had been the only warrior left in the Southern Pole to defend what little was left of a nation there. He was dizzy with it. He needed to get away.

"Come," Sun Fei said gently. "There is a nice quiet place to have tea not far from here." He didn't respond to the name Lee. She was not about to call him Prince Zuko in public! She stood in front of him. He stopped. He truly looked like the world crashed that instant and a stone pillar just killed everyone he knew and loved. He was almost numb with the thoughts. "Come," she said again, putting a hand softly on his arm. "This way." He tensed, but let her guide him away. _What does one say to a prince in exile?_ She was not entirely sure. It was fairly clear that she was not meant to figure it out. So she decided to play ignorant for the meantime, until she can think this through.

His mind was frantically trying to regain composure and plan and calm and yet plan... _and gods... she must know._ If he ran, it would look suspicious.

"They make a very nice spiced chai tea here," she said, keeping her tone quiet. "It is good for the nerves."

His hands almost shook and the fire sometimes rose to dance in his eyes. He was wary of everything. It was great effort to force himself to be calm enough to maybe be coherent.

She sat demurely across from him. She wondered if this was all a set up so that Zuko could learn about the war, but that would mean that Travahar knew who Zuko was and had used her. That thought infuriated her. She kept her eyes downcast, thinking.

He ran through his mind who he was and the role he had to play here, as well as Ty-min and Faelin and his responsibility to them. He wasn't sure if he would kill Travahar for this or not. Did he hate the man or was he grateful to him for opening his eyes. THAT was a DANGEROUS thing Travahar did to Sun Fei. Zuko almost lost full control. He might have hurt someone, might have hurt Sun Fei.

Seeing Zuko lost in his own thoughts, Sun Fei decided to ask a very safe question. "How long have you been in Ba Sing Se, Lee?"

The question startled him and he thought before answering, "five, almost six months. I came in late summer." His voice shook a bit but came calmer with every breath. He wondered how much she suspected, how much she could be trusted, what he would do if she could not be trusted. His voice was deep and almost husky like when they were at the noble's party.

"Then you at least had the chance to see the turning of the leaves," she said, as though making pleasant conversation with anyone else, anyone at all. "I love to watch the changing of the seasons myself."

"Sifu Mu-Tan had said it was too cold for the usual winter here," remembering Mu-Tan's words about how the weather was off like this the last time the comet came. The fire danced again in his eyes and he closed them taking a long sip of the chai.

Sun Fei thought about it. "Indeed. This is a far colder winter then most of us are used to."

His face wrinkling in surprise at the tea's sharp spicy taste. It was nothing like the smooth bergamot vanilla with milk and sugar that he liked. The odd expression was almost amusing on him. He was unsure whether he liked the tea or not. Either way, it gave him something different to focus on; it helped calm his nerves as Sun Fei had promised. Sun Fei sipped at her chai slowly. She didn't notice his face, not looking at him. In fact, she hadn't met his eyes since he fled the library. His second sip was more tentative and he felt now awkward with her in a whole different way. Did she know? Would she hate him and call him a monster too? He shifted so his scar was farther from her.

Sun Fei asked curiously, "What are winters like, outside the city? I've never left Ba Sing Se."

He understood now what madness had gripped his father and sister... power-hunger… ultimate power consumes and corrupts ultimately. It was something his mother constantly warned him of. He moistened his lips, "Depends on where you are."

Sun Fei was a master at light conversation. "Ah. Have you traveled much, then?"

"All over, mostly." Yet Zuko thought, _all over… and why had I not seen any of these horrible things? Because I was obsessively blinded by a stupid quest from my father._

She sipped at her tea, considering her next words carefully, afraid to let him know that she knows who he is, and afraid to let him wander alone. "Perhaps you should write of your journeys. There are many who are curious about the world outside."

Zuko replied very curtly, "No." Sun Fei set her tea down carefully. Then he replied more carefully, "Better that someone who appreciated the scenes and people write about the outside world." And the conversation dance began again.

"Ah. I suppose..." Sun Fei gazed out the expensive glass window by their table.

Zuko followed her gaze, then stared into his cup. "I am not a good writer."

She allowed herself a small smile. "Few good writers believe themselves to be so."

"I am not good at much other than destroying things," he muttered under his breath. The conscious thought of that stung him.

Sun Fei countered, "I don't believe that. Hwa Lan told me you'd taken in a child... that sort of nurturing requires the ability to do more then simply destroy."

"Sun Fei?" Zuko was about to say something he was thinking, something that gnawed at his insides a bit.

Sun Fei looked back at Zuko. "Yes?"

He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to her or how. He chose to change subject, or rather follow the different subject that she so neatly provided. "Ty-min... is hard to resist." His expression softened visibly. "Taking her in was the right thing to do, the honorable thing."

She could see how taken he was with the child. "She must be a very special little girl, and lucky to have found someone who cares. Yes... a very honorable thing. You should be proud."

Zuko began and found himself at a loss, "She... She needs better." Another kind of guilt ate him inside.

That gave her pause for thought. "Perhaps with time, as you learn more about her, and about children, you will be able to give her better." Children were a safe topic of discussion, like pets and the weather.

Zuko lamented, "I don't even know where to begin, she is so rough and tumble like a boy, stubborn as stone."

Sun Fei chuckled. "Many girls of the Earth kingdom are, at a young age. Perhaps it is a sign she will be a good earthbender someday."

Calming into thoughts of Ty-min, he added, "and she has eyes like jade crystal... like yours." He never thought of Ty-min as possibly being an earthbender. He would have to ask Mu-Tan about that.

Sun Fei looked up briefly, and then down at her tea again. "Thank you."

He sighed, "She beat a boy bigger than her bloody in a schoolyard of a school we were considering. I had no idea what to do with her. I..."

"Oh… I see..." she purses her lips. "That can't have been easy to handle... what did you do?"

"I didn't want to hit her, so I left her with the woman who babysits her for me," he confessed guiltily. He had abandoned her which was to him as bad as hitting her. "I'm sorry. I should not be discussing these things with you."

"Oh, Lee." _Was Prince Zuko really afraid of handling a little girl?!_ "You need to find a way to communicate with her so that she understands that this is not acceptable without letting it get to you. I… I understand. It is not as though there were some manual about how to be a good parent."

He looked at her with his golden eyes. "What she did wasn't what got to me so much as how to handle it... I... I never want to be like my father."

She looked up when he said that, eyes searching his. He must surely know that she knew, to say such a thing. "Many of us are... troubled by who our parents are, and what they may have done to get there. But we need to remember that we are our own people, not copies of those who came before us, and we all have the capacity to take our lives into our own hands, to be... better. Smarter. And...gentler."

"I hope to be," he said in a quiet voice. He set his empty cup down, looking into it.

"Perhaps to be so you must learn to forgive yourself," she suggested softly. "The past... is not your fault."

He winced. He hated how women saw to the most painful thing and addressed. Was he such an open book now?

Sun Fei sighed with sympathy. "Ty-Min... is that her name? Ty-Min will love you, even if you make a few mistakes along the way. It's clear how much you care about her, even to me, and I barely know you."

His mouth twitched up a bit. "I... I should get back to the tram. I promised to be there for her dinner and to put her to bed. I have competition training with Travahar tonight right after."

_Prince Zuko was such an intense man, and yet..._ She nodded. He seemed calm enough now. She hoped that he will remain so. He'd been in the city for nearly six months, he said, and there hasn't been a massacre. He can't be planning on starting now. Not when a five year old girl can vex him so. "I'll let you to your evening then... be... careful." Almost to her surprise she meant that on several levels.

"Sun Fei?" he asked hesitantly.

She looked up from her tea, carefully. "Yes, Lee?"

His golden eyes locking hers firmly. "I... would appreciate your... discretion about today."

"Yes... of course..." _About who you are, you mean,_ she thought.

"And..." he glanced down. "And ... thank you." Apologies and gratitude were not easy for him to express.

"You are welcome." She slid his folded papers from their research across the table for him to take or leave as he wished.

He took them and crumpled them tightly into his hand, when he opened his hand ash fell from it lightly and was gone with the breeze. "I don't need it." He decided to take a chance and see if he could trust her. He knew he could kill her if he had to later. But allies... he needed some. Like Travahar needed some. He honored her with this trust, bowing low and honorably to her. "You are welcome to watch us at the dojo tonight. Consider it my invitation." He stood with all the noble air he once had wrapped again around him.

"Perhaps I will join you there this evening. Until then." She bowed back politely, perhaps a little deeper then before. He strode out with his thoughts and emotions back in careful check. She waited until he was well gone to breathe, shaking beneath the thick robes of her kimono. He had burned the papers to ash before her eyes with firebending. _So, I was right, and Huo Long Lee, the Fire Dragon, was the exiled Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. Was this secret safe to keep? Why did he let me know, so clearly?_

As he walked to the tram, his mother's words echoed in his mind._ "Trust... and you will be trusted."_

-----

Travahar decided to assess his situation cautiously. The manacles holding his hands behind his back were not on tight and the Dai Li agent was remaining both discreet AND appearing off duty. Also, the old man he came to discuss Pai Sho and other things with was coming to join them in the back room. Making a scene could damage the discretion.

To his relief, the manacles were instantly removed the second the door to the back room closed. The Dai Li agent backed to a safe distance and was ready to do earthbending to defend himself against Travahar if it became necessary. The agent looked at Travahar very sternly, "I have some questions for you."

Travahar, insulted for this treatment simply for some questions, retorted, "And I have questions for you."

The old man pulled a table between them and brought over tea that had been apparently waiting for them. "All questions will be addressed and answered, civilly. Now, both of you come and sit."

"What can you tell me about this Huo Long?" the agent asked. "I hear you and he are friends. He has been wandering where he ought to know he shouldn't."

Side-glancing the old man, Travahar answered noncommittally, "We train together for the competitions. What is he to you? And where has he been that he shouldn't have? He is new to Ba Sing Se, he doesn't know all the rules, yet."

"Huo Long is an interesting name for someone training in the Earth Nation's Ba Sing Se martial arts competitions," remarked the agent skeptically, "and he was inside the Temple one morning."

Travahar frowned. _Why was Zuko inside the Temple?_ He would have to ask him when he arrived to train this evening. "I will let him know the rules of the Temple when I see him next for training practice."

The old man offered them cups from a tray that contained many. On the bottoms of the cups were small designs from the Pai Sho tiles. Each person chose a cup with a White Lotus pattern on the bottom. It made Travahar's eyebrows rise. _So this is why all the odd discretion. EXCELLENT! Perhaps this person can replace the agent that was assassinated a few weeks ago._

Feeling bolder by his discovering, Travahar asked his question, knowing full well that he hadn't really answered the agents question very well, "What is Lake Laogai? And what is the status of Long Feng?"

The agent nearly choked on his tea. The old man patted the agent on the back, though more to reassure him than to assist his coughing. "Lake Laogai… It is a… um… Under the city of Ba Sing Se is another city with a lake and is lit by luminescent green crystals. Much of the sewage eventually works its way into that old city. Ba Sing Se was built overtop it centuries ago." He set his empty cup down nervously. "It is the head quarters for Long Feng and the Dai Li, but has been recently exposed to the king and Long Feng is now in jail for treachery."

Travahar was amazed. No city plans he had ever seen had indicated anything of the sort. He blatantly pointed that out to the agent.

The agent defended with, "That is because all documents, books and scrolls have been confiscated by an earlier leader of the Dai Li."

The treachery then was long in the making. Travahar decided that he would need to either abolish the Dai Li or change how they were managed once he gained the throne again. More tea was poured. "I want those documents." The agent gave Travahar an incredulous stare. Calmly, Travahar stated, "Long Feng is in jail. The King should know that these documents exist as well as Lake Laogai. Such treachery could end the careers of the Dai Li or worse."

The agent was still nervous. "I cannot do that. The Dai Li, though they are currently answering to the king, are still loyal to Long Feng and…" He could not finish.

Travahar finished for him, "And so, still do Long Feng's business and await the opportunity to bring Long Feng back… and perhaps put him on the throne?" That truth was apparent as the agent cast his eyes downward in shame. "I understand the situation all too well now. Know that you can trust myself and Huo Long. His uncle is as we are and thus can also be trusted. Do you know who he is?" The agent shook his head. "He runs the Jasmine Dragon Tea House. Go visit it sometime. Otherwise, don't take any risks. We are patient for our information, especially if the risk may lead to someone's death. I would like that you live. Though… can you get me a list of all the temples in Ba Sing Se? I know there were more than just the one some four or five years ago." Travahar thought of asking more of this agent and changed his mind. The agent was already taking enough of a risk. "I assume I am free to go now?"

The old man reminded Travahar that he was owed a game of Pai Sho. Travahar smiled wryly, bowed and agreed to a game or two. The Dai Li agent left and the game was set up as more tea was brought in. Travahar and the old man discussed Silver Circle moves, old moves no longer used in the Pai Sho game and why.

-----

Zuko stared at the floor of the tram while it carried him from the Upper Ring to the Lower Ring, his mind a mix of guilt and shame as the events of the day swirled like the come and go of the tram's passengers at each stop. This information on the comet was shocking, more so because the astronomy book dated its return for the end of this summer. His father and Azula must already know. _If a random discovery of the power of the comet to firebenders could spark the atrocities of a century long war, what will its return bring when the firebending leaders KNOW the effects? The atrocious acts of war were both shameful and dishonorable._ Definitely not the glory he had been taught by his tutors. He was seeing now what his uncle had been trying to explain about the war these past several years; and now that he had spent time among other peoples, he was acutely aware of what was happening. _These people really were no different than those of the Fire Nation. They all had hopes and dreams, they all suffered the same struggles, they all had honor. The difference was merely in how they expressed their culture. What the Fire Nation had been engaging in was not conquest for glory… not at all. It was genocide in some cases, like that of the Air Nomads._ That truth was still shocking. It reminded him of what Azula had done with the temples, like Faelin's temple. The guilt he felt at abandoning them on the shore so long ago still stung. Had he similarly abandoned Ty-min? True, not to a fate of death, but abandoned her because he was angry and didn't know how to deal with her. He felt so foolish. _Sun Fei now knew exactly who and what he was. Should I warn my uncle? Could she be trusted? Travahar was definitely going to get a beating for this day._ He almost missed his stop while deep in thought.

On his way to pick up Ty-min from ManYee's, Zuko spent the last of his funds on rolls, some meat and sprouts. In the apartment, he was silent, unsure what to say, how to act, what to do. He thought of Sun Fei's advice and still felt at a loss. Ty-min was likewise quiet and watched Zuko uncertainly and constantly. She had never seen him mad, at least not at her. She felt horrible… and alone. There was no one there for her. No one.

Zuko served out a simple supper. Ty-min didn't complain this time about how bland it was. Her chin quivered now and then as she ate. Zuko felt like his heart was being squeezed as he watched her eat… the guilt acting like a small cinch. When she was finished eating, she went to her room without instruction and practiced her katas and then her meditation as quiet tears streamed down her cheeks. Zuko then set up the bath and helped her to bathe.

She curled up under her blankets while Zuko dumped the bath water. He came back to tuck her in. She looked up at him with watery pale green eyes, "Are you still mad at me?" She sniffed. "I'm sorry I fighted and em-embrassed you. Do you hate me now?" Her chin quivered again.

Zuko sighed a deep and heavy sigh. "Fought and embarrassed," he corrected. "And no, I am no longer mad. And Ty-min, I could never hate you. Never ever think that. I… I just don't always know what to do." He gathered her in his arms and hugged her. "For that I am sorry," and kissed the top of her head.

Ty-min: "I promise not to fight again."

Zuko frowned a moment, knowing that they were technically in the middle of a war that now more than ever he wished was over. "Don't make promises you may not be able to keep. One day, you might HAVE to fight. Just… please choose your fights honorably and never be a bully." He wondered if he could ever raise her the way his mother had tried to raise him. He didn't want her to make the mistakes that he had. He wished his life had been different, but… looking at her, remembering the wonderful moments he had with Faelin, and the joy on his uncle's face with the new tea house… he didn't want to go back and do things differently… just in case this got all lost. It was a little secret all his own, one he was just realizing. These small things made him really happy.

He settled Ty-min into his lap and took the little flute out of his pocket. She reached over, grabbing her dolly and held it tightly as she cuddled close to him. Zuko played for Ty-min the lullaby his mother used to sing to him as a child. Then he tucked her into bed as ManYee knocked on the door. He thanked her for coming to watch Ty-min again today and off he went to his private practice with Travahar.


	49. Chapter 49: Zuko's Navel Chakra Trial

_**Chapter 49: Zuko's Navel Chakra Rite**_

Zuko was a bit late to the dojo. Mu-Tan raised an eyebrow at him as he bowed his entry and quickly changed for practice. Zuko didn't care too much about being late today. Ty-min was more important. Now, however, he had new things to consider. _How to deal with Travahar and this situation and information?_ He hated being manipulated. It is the kind of thing his sister would do… for the fun of it. As he returned to the dojo from the changing rooms, he noted that Sun Fei was not yet there. Travahar was sparring with Ling, learning some advanced Hung Gar moves. Zuko stepped in to spar with Mu-Tan and learn some more challenging moves too.

When Travahar and Zuko sparred, everyone was in for a bit of a surprise. Zuko fought as hard as when Travahar had touched Faelin for the first time, with fire burning in his eyes. At one moment when Zuko had Travahar firmly pinned he demanded, "Why did you manipulate me and Sun Fei into that library trip? Did you know what I was going to find or how I might react? You put her in danger."

Travahar brought his legs up and around Zuko's throat flipping back and over, then pounced on him. "I had no idea what you would find or how you would react, just that you needed to know the information. I figured you were a big boy and could handle the truth."

Zuko twisted under Travahar, knocking out Travahar's arm and rolling him over to another pinned position where he shouted fiercely, "She knows who I am!"

They all froze as the door closed and Sun Fei sat on the bench watching two boys fight like angry children, wrestling on the floor. It was not the great example of their martial arts. She snapped her fan open to cover her face and expression as she heard Zuko's yell. The two boys on the floor looked over at her stunned.

As Zuko got up from Travahar, he whispered, "I will kill her if she is a threat. Better I kill her than the Dai Li and their tortures and brainwashing in Lake Laogai." Travahar's eyes widened a bit. Zuko suddenly realized that Travahar didn't know what actually went on down there. "I'll be the more honorable and inform you to your face as opposed to manipulating someone else into the task and deviously surprising you with the shocking news," he said coldly.

It was like an icy slap to Travahar. He bowed to accept the insult. He deserved it. Sun Fei's eyes burned, too with anger at him as he walked up to her and made a quiet apology. She, however, gave him the physical icy slap that Zuko had only delivered in words. Then she sat to watch them spar as Mu-Tan called them to drink some water and meditate for five minutes.

Now having vented his fury in mostly the right direction and seeing that Sun Fei understood the danger she was in with this knowledge, Zuko was able to focus on properly sparring and working through the new moves. He also practiced his own more challenging moves which his uncle showed him one morning in the main room of the new home. They then had to work as a team against first Ling alone, then Ling and Mu-Tan together. The teamwork was very hard. They were so used to competing against each other than they didn't make a very good team, thus losing repeatedly. It shamed them both, especially when Mu-Tan ordered them to grow up and learn to work together or forget the competition. They agreed to train together every day, as much as was humanly possible.

As they cleaned up and changed, Zuko apologized for his fury and Travahar for his deceit. Zuko reminded Travahar that he had Ty-min all day tomorrow and important plans with her. They agreed to start the every day training once Ty-min was back with her part-time guardians. Travahar said he would escort Sun Fei home. He had much to explain and apologize for. Zuko had to prepare for the next chakra rite.

Zuko felt like there was a just not enough time to do the things that needed to be done. That comet was coming and so was the summer. In six months, summer would be upon them. In two more months, the Fire Lord (no longer his father, not ever) would perhaps destroy everyone and maybe everything with the power of the comet. Had he known... had he known earlier, maybe things would be… but, the past cannot be undone. He came into the dojo to meditate and try to quiet his mind. Unfortunately all the thoughts from earlier that day flooded him. He paced the dojo instead.

The evening proceeded as the one before. Zuko went downstairs as Mu-Tan directed him and lifted out another small trunk. This one was shades of orange saffron stained wood. Zuko thought that they would be dealing with fire this evening. Then he saw the symbol upon it and almost stumbled on the stairs going up to the dojo. _Were those water waves or air swirls?_ He already knew not to take a symbol for granted. With the shades of blue and the blue crescent moon under the symbol, he guessed that it was likely water. But he couldn't see how orange fit with water. Like the other box's symbol, it was encircled in silver with a silver inverted triangle. "Is this the symbol for water? Which chakra is that?" asked Zuko with confusion on his face.

Mu-Tan and Ling were setting up the dojo as before. Ling set up the tea on the side of the room. He had his bo staff with him again, but doubted he would need it. Zuko seemed decently in control and this was not a chakra that leant to dangerous outbursts… usually. Mu-Tan glanced over at the symbol. "Yes, it is the one for water. Very good. The inverted triangle is for water as are the moon and waves. It is a bit more like the water symbol you are used to."

Zuko set the box down beside the entry from the office to the dojo. "But why all the fiery orange?"

Mu-Tan replied casually as he raised the protective wall over the window with earthbending, "because the chakra we are dealing with is below the navel, sometimes called the navel chakra but really deals with the sexual organs."

Zuko's eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfect O as his cheeks began to color. He dreaded that this was going to be embarrassing, and then he was embarrassed at his own prudish behavior. He sighed and opened the trunk. Inside, he found: a silver bowl with wave patterns engraved in it with a moon-colored polished shell embedded in the inside bottom of the bowl, more incense power that has a sweet scent to it (along with a dish, white sand and a piece of charcoal), another folded low table lacquered saffron orange or the surface was actually made of some kind of orange stone, a bottle of oil that smelled both sweet and spicy, and orange flat square cushion. In the bottom of the trunk were another pile of silk rolls that shimmer orange or blue depending on which way you tilted your head. They too had the occasional silver threading that Zuko squinted at to try to see.

Mu-Tan instructed, "Set the cushion in the middle of the dojo. You will sit upon it for this rite. I'll tell you how when you are ready to start and then the table, like last night. Place it not quite arm's length as you will need to reach things on the table." Zuko did this too, still thinking that the folding legs were rather ingenious. He noticed now that there were divots in the top of this table too and figured it was to steady the objects upon it as the other table's divots did. Mu-Tan smiled at Zuko's understanding. "Now the bowl needs to be filled with water and placed closest to you in the center of the table. Place the sand in the dish with the charcoal and place it on one or the other side of the bowl as you choose." Zuko set the table as directed. He stroked the table curiously. Mu-Tan answered Zuko's unasked question, "The tabletop is made of carnelian stone, which is associated with this chakra. It is also associated with passion, energy, inner drive." Zuko held up the cream-colored powder incense. "That is orris root powder. It is a watery scent that will help you connect with the element." The small bottle of oil was what Zuko held up next. "Clove oil for massage." Zuko's skeptical and uncomfortable look made Mu-Tan and Ling laugh.

Zuko immediately protested. "I am NOT rubbing clove oil THERE! Clove oil burns! Thank you, but I have had that part of me brutalized enough this year!"

Ling snickered quietly in the background while Mu-Tan coughed and gained control of himself. "Don't worry, I won't ask you to. Put your hand between your navel and your manhood. Your lower abdomen. That is were the oil goes. It and the incense will help you connect with your chakra and awaken the energy that is there."

Zuko still looked skeptical, especially since Ling could not stop snickering. Zuko's cheeks burned with humiliation. Zuko hung the long silk scrolls on the walls. The orange-blue shimmer made him feel like he was in water that was very warm. Then he got tea from Ling like Mu-Tan suggested and headed upstairs to meditate. It was a thick creamy coconut milk chai, not unlike what he had when he was with Sun Fei. He gulped it down to find it was VERY strong. It contained something sweet and odd that made his head swim a little. He knelt for meditation in the upstairs room and waited.

Downstairs, Ling and Mu-Tan boiled lots of water to create a steamy sauna in the dojo while they waited for Faelin and Travahar.

-----

After Travahar escorted Sun Fei home, he was relieved to have parted ways from her. Her noble tongue was sharp and lashed him about honor and respect and dignity all the way. Her words stripped him bare and flayed him raw with the threat of salting the wounds later. That little plan of his went better and way worse than he had intended. She shoved the info into his hand before slamming her door in his face. He sighed and took the cart back to the dojo. In the cart and on the tram, he skimmed her notes. It was painfully obvious now why Zuko had reacted as he did, especially since he had likely been sheltered through censored study. The most surprising bit of information was the confirmation of Kozue's information… the date of the return of Sozen's comet. Travahar need to know what the military was doing about this, if they even knew anything about it.

When he picked up Faelin and walked about with her, he explained his findings. He expressed his deep anxiety about hurting Zuko. It really was not his intention, but Zuko needed to know. Faelin looked just as worried about the coming comet. Apparently, her studies were not so censored in her temple.

They arrived at the dojo and Travahar headed downstairs to do his own meditation. He looked curiously at the setup of the dojo as he passed. Faelin was accepting a cup of tea from Ling. Travahar lingered a bit. She shooed him down the stairs as she went up. Resigned to his meditation in the basement, he dragged his feet there and plopped down. This has been an odd day. Meditation might actually help him sort it all out. If not, he will pound some stone.

Faelin walked upstairs and softly touched Zuko's shoulder. He was already aware of her entering his room and stood to embrace her, remembering to keep himself silent. He felt guilty for not trying to visit her. But… Ty-min was with him and he just couldn't be in two places at once. He had to trust that Mu-Tan was right and that she was safe. She seemed fine. They looked long into each other eyes before she took his hand and lead him down to the dojo where he almost reluctantly stood by the small orange pillow. Everyone else was in their places.

Mu-Tan spoke as he did the night before. It was ritual. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The second chakra will be your navel chakra. It is located below your navel. Sit completely on the ground and form a circle with your legs so the bottoms of your feet meet. Then breathe and remember the feeling of the open root chakra. This position gives access to the navel chakra, so that you may work with it." Zuko could not help making a face as his earlier thoughts with the clove oil crept in to distract him. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

As a way of saying he was ready, Zuko took a deep breath to clear away the distractions and sat as instructed. It took him a moment to get comfortable in the different position, but he did. Ling stood and created a circle of salt around the interior perimeter of the dojo.

Mu-Tan's voice was almost trance-inducing. "The element for this chakra is Water. The color is orange for emotional passions. Light the charcoal and we will continue."

With a small bit of firebending, Zuko lit the charcoal. He placed a generous amount of the creamy powder on the hot charcoal. The thick and heavy smoke that rose was very sweet, almost like inhaling sugar and stirred a feeling he had only a few times when he had slept with Faelin here in this very dojo.

Mu-Ta glanced at Faelin as she was now settled to monitor Zuko's energy. "The powder is orris root. It is strongly associated with both water and the sex or navel chakra. Breathe in the scent."

It was like a warm bath and the shimmering banners made him really feel like he was immersed, but safe.

Mu-Tan again spoke softly and slowly, "Anoint the chakra with the oil."

Zuko blushed a little as he followed the instruction. He blushed even more when the warmth of the oil penetrated his skin and transported him to sensations that were very private, thoughts of Faelin's warm body against his.

Mu-Tan continued his guidance. "Each chakra in our bodies has a purpose and can be blocked by a certain kind of emotional hindrance. The sex or navel chakra deals with pleasure… and is blocked by guilt. Look at all the guilt which burdens your soul. What do you blame yourself for?"

_Zuko heard the sound of water and was originally thinking wonderful thoughts of Faelin. Then the thoughts hit a dam, a block. The word GUILT echoed in his mind. The day had been full of that feeling. Guilt for having abandoned Ty-min. Why did that small act of abandonment dredge up such intense feelings of guilt? Zuko's brow wrinkled in an inner pained expression. It was because he felt guilt every time he saw Faelin, every time he touched her, every time he worried about her. He abandoned her. He was no longer by her side at night keeping her safe. He abandoned her years ago and now she was a slave. That was his fault and that guilt ate at him. All the suffering she has endured. It was his fault. He abandoned them on the shore. _

_His chest felt tight as the sound of rushing water filled his ears. He opened his eyes to find himself looking over the rail of a ship at a shore billowing with smoke and the screams of children. It was just not fast enough. He was not fast enough. He had abandoned them in the first place. He shut his eyes tight against the image of the dead girl holding his hand. She was so small, her lovely hair red as Faelin's, and her life slipped through his fingers. It was his fault and that guilt gnawed viciously at his innards. He swallowed hard several time. He felt like he was drowning. The warm tingle below his navel felt like a hot painful twisting in his gut. "It's all my fault," whispered Zuko painfully and gulped for air._

Mu-Tan wondered if Zuko would break down into tears. His gentle voice broke through, "Accept that these things in your life have happened, but do not let them cloud and poison you. The past is done and cannot be undone. If you are to be a positive influence in the world, you need to forgive yourself."

Zuko took some deep shuddering breaths. _Forgive myself?_ He wanted to practically slit his wrists. The feelings of guilt were intense.

Faelin straighten her posture and glanced back at Ling quickly. Ling gripped his bo staff. Then she relaxed and nodded to Mu-Tan.

Mu-Tan was unperturbed by the shifting around him. "The past is the past, Zuko. It need not weigh you down. You must forgive yourself and know that the future needs you."

Zuko was amazed how Mu-Tan seemed to always know what to say. Yes, Faelin was still there. She needed him. And she had already forgiven him. Ty-min was there too and needed him. He took slower deep breaths. _I cannot change the past, just accept it and move on. Learn from it, grow from it._ He opened his eyes and gazed steadily but sadly at Mu-Tan.

Mu-Tan motioned to the bowl. "Wash away your guilt."

Zuko dipped his hands into the cool water. He followed his instincts and drank a handful of water. Then he dipped his hands in again cupping water and poured that cupped water over his head and down his face allowing it to cool and refresh him within and without. He glanced over his shoulder at Faelin, whose tattoos glowed softly. Their eyes met and she smiled at him. Yes, she was still there. He had made mistakes in his past, mistakes he would never again make.

Mu-Tan smiled at Zuko. "You have faced and opened your navel chakra."

Zuko turned back to Mu-Tan and bowed his thank you. Mu-Tan gave a small bow of his head in return before instructing Zuko to go upstairs to relax. Zuko wanted to protest, but then thought that there was stuff that Mu-Tan had to discuss with Faelin. He stood and stretched and went up to flop on the bed mat up there.

Mu-Tan brought Travahar up to escort Faelin back. Then he and Ling cleaned up the dojo.

Zuko came home later to a sleeping Ty-min and a dozing ManYee. He thanked ManYee as he woke her. She informed him that Ty-min had a small night terror, but did not wake. When she left, Zuko went in to check on Ty-min and make sure she was tucked in and her doll was in her arms. He kissed the top of her head before taking himself to bed.


	50. Chapter 50: Visiting Old New Friends

_**Chapter 50: Visiting Old New Freinds**_

After brunch with Ty-min, Zuko was determined to walk around the Lower Ring and re-explore it. There were things he felt he needed to see, things he wanted to show Ty-min and people he wanted to visit… people he had not visited in a long while.

He took her to the first places he had seen when he arrived with his uncle. The entry area where new arrivals registered was packed full of new refugees. He found a bench and sat with Ty-min on his lap. He told her all about the war going on outside the walls and why so many people were coming here. He explained what the word refugee meant. Then they just watched quietly for a bit. It bothered him to see the amount of people there, but more so, it bothered him to see the stressed and saddened and sometimes angry faces. So many of them were there because they had lost everything. The Fire Nation had destroyed their homes and killed their families. They had nowhere else to be. He told Ty-min, "I cannot guarantee that we won't end up like that, but I will do my best to see that you are always cared for. Maybe one day, I will be able to make some kind of difference and see to the end of the war."

"You can do anything!" Ty-min's innocent optimism was refreshing. Her hug was a comfort as well.

They then traveled to the Tea Shop where Zuko had worked. There he introduced her to the owner. He took the time to thank the man for the trust and first opportunity that he had given both Zuko and Iroh when they had arrived. He asked if the help that replaced him and his uncle was working out. The owner was startled by Zuko's courtesy and honorable gratitude. He stumbled over Zuko's almost royal grace and offered them to sit and have free tea on him. Zuko again thanked the man and sat with Ty-min for some tea. He listened to her chatter about the different schools they had visited throughout the days and wondered aloud what it would be like. She asked incessant questions about what she would learn and if she would be able to still go to the dojo. Zuko did his best to answer. He explained the curriculums of the different schools to her and listened to which actually interested her. He would take all this into account when he made his decision. He didn't want to just force her to study somewhere as his parents had. But, he did want her to get the most well rounded education.

Their next stop was the Craftmen's District where they explored various shops. He could not buy her anything, but said he would keep in mind the things that interested her. Gifts were things that were given at times you wanted to say or do something special for someone. If they were always given then they lose their specialness.

The glassblower overheard this from his window as he was hanging some lovely colored glass balls in his window. Kasai Hari stepped out of his shop and greeted Zuko. Zuko bowed to him and introduced Ty-min. She bowed to the glassblower as Zuko had taught her. He smiled with pride. Kasai Hari invited them in. Zuko explained the story of how he ended up in here the first time and why, without explaining that the task to find someone to learn a skilled trade from was so he could study as an assassin, it was more just so he could study under Mu-Tan. Kasai Hari chuckled and told Ty-min his own story a bit. As they left, Ty-min asked if Mu-Tan would insist she learn a craft trade before she could be part of the big person's classes. Zuko smirked. "Likely," he replied, amused. He thanked Kasai Hari for his time and stories and the time he had given Zuko those many weeks ago, including the reference for the sword smiths.

The forge was their next stop. Zuko was stunned by the overwhelmingly positive welcome he had received from everyone. Someone already snagged Ty-min off for a tour while the twin masters sat with Zuko to get caught up and try to convince him to rejoin and help them with their crafting. They remarked how Zuko had great potential and would be so honored if he would consider completing his training. Zuko blushed with surprise for the compliments. He stumbled much over his words own of thanks and mentioned he was currently very busy still with training. The twins pushed him a little of their concern for a rumor they had heard, that Zuko was going by the name Huo Long in the upcoming competition and if that wasn't a bit dangerous for a young firebender in an Earth Kingdom city at war. That reminded Zuko to ask Hwa Lan where she got the name and why she announced it. Zuko explained how he had not picked it, but that someone from the dojo had out of complete ignorance nicknamed him thus as a joke. They cautioned him and reminded him that he would always have a place with them if he wanted. Ty-min ran back with a small practice dagger that was more pretty than functional. In fact it could not ever hope to be functional, but it was pretty and Ty-min adored the apprentice's "scrap practice piece". Ty-min begged and pleaded to be allowed to keep it. Before everyone's eyes, he felt resigned to agree. He didn't really want her to have a dagger till she was at least ten years old. _But… oh well, at least it would never be sharp._

The smiths packed them both some dinner from their own provisions when Zuko said he was taking her to see the lakefront on the western side of Ba Sing Se. He was embarrassed by their charity but could not refuse it without insulting them. In the end, he was grateful as he had no funds left to get anything for dinner. He had planned to grab a tram before dinner and drop Ty-min off with her other guardians in time to eat.

Down at the beach, Zuko let Ty-min play in the sand and dance at the edge of the water. He promised to teach her to swim when it was not so late and when the weather was warmer… perhaps in the summer. Then a small frown crossed his face. The comet would come in the summer. He might never get to teach her to swim, especially if Ozai used the comet to destroy Ba Sing Se. He huffed and took out his flute to play as a distraction and to cover his concern. He did not want to upset Ty-min with the burden of his worry. He played some more up beat tunes and watched as Ty-min skipped and twirled to the music. Maybe he would have her learn some dancing. He had to for formal dances at court. _And most women learned it because they … well… didn't they? It was just something women learned. Wasn't it?_

He relaxed as the sun set and Ty-min flopped beside him to watch it. His thoughts wandered. Zuko was amazed at how benders and non-benders from many different backgrounds could actually come together in one place and work together in harmony and respect. It became a seed in his mind that he would think about more… later.

They were almost late for the evening tram. It almost made Zuko late getting back to the dojo.


	51. Chapter 51: Fall & Rise of Trav & Lan

_Author's Note:_

_The chapter is co-written with Robyn Stroll (Coyote)._

_**Chapter 51: Fall & Rise of Travahar & Hw Lan **_

Travahar stood in the doorway of a side room smiling with all his charm at the lovely young daughter of the record keeper. She searched out various files for him while her father was out to lunch. At the tender age of thirteen, she blushed and giggled over the tops of files while Travahar made small comments about her sweetness for helping him and her beauty as she moved through the shelves of scrolls and files. She carried over many different types of scrolls, some maps, some registries, and some legal documents. "These are copies. They don't usually go out to just anyone. You are supposed to have a seal from one of the upper counsel members to get a copy." Travahar brushed her cheek with his fingers very softly and whispered a promise to not tell anyone. Her cheeks grew rosy with his attention. She slipped away trying to be coy. Then she returned after some length of time with a great many folders of files and bound sheaves of rice paper. "These are not supposed to leave the archives. But… no one really refers to them or asks about them. I also found this." She showed him a dusty old journal dating back to when the walls of Ba Sing Se were first erected. She was so proud of herself for spotting it. "I don't know if it will help…" the tall girl never got to finish her sentence. Travahar caught her chin and kisses her cheek very close to her lips. His warm breath sending shivers down her innocent spine as he whispered another promise to return them before anyone could possibly notice. He left her standing there breathless and dreamy-eyed as he walked away with sure strides that accentuated his inner strength and noble nature. She leaned against the doorframe and sighed heavily.

He pulled out a cloth that usually wraps the files of his family tree for his adoptive house and placed the first of those files on the top of his pile. Then he wrapped the entire bundle into the heavy patterned fabric. He stepped out of the records office that was just on the side of the palace. It was available for both the nobility of the Upper Ring and those within the palace. He passed the daily messenger who arrived to retrieve what would be the afternoon printed news from the palace. Travahar nodded courteously at him as he bowed deeply awaiting the noble's passage before rising. Travahar saw how the messenger's eyes glanced at the large bundle and hoped that it looked like one of his usual family research projects.

He kept his sure pace till he spotted a free cart runner and paid for his lift back home. At home he marched passed his servants into the far mostly unused wing and locked himself into his personal room where he and Zuko sometimes met. He called a servant to bring in a low table for him to work on, as well as tea and some sweet rice bread rolls. They already figured he would not come out till dinnertime. This was likely one of those times he would do his own personal research, meditation, training in the open space, one of those times you just don't disturb Travahar. They brought him what he asked for and moved some plants aside to make room in the light for him to sit upon cushions at the low table. They new better than to place a single item in the small meditation/practice space with the tatami mats. When the servants left, Travahar closed the door feeling secure that this was so far in an unused part of the estate that he need not worry of any further interruptions.

He laid out all the files in piles on the floor around the low table according to subject. He flipped through some to refresh his mind on the course of perusal he wanted. Setting one on the table, he then returned to his tatami mats. He lifted one of the mats and folded it over. He ran his fingers around the metal trimming of the flagstones and paused. Pressing his palm to the metal edge, he breathed in. As he breathed out, a small lock latch clicked in release. He opened his eyes and lifted his hand over the flagstone. The flagstone rose and followed his hand's motion to be set carefully aside. He lifted the notes and files and journals from previous research and from Sun Fei out of the revealed cubby in the floor. Before returning the flagstone, he ran his hand sadly over a box deep in the bottom of the floor cubby. His fingers lingered over his birth father's royal seal. He huffed and pulled his hand away. "Not yet, Father, but soon." Again he held his hand over the flagstone till it hovered a few inches. He drew his hand over and the flagstone followed and settled into place as Travahar lowered his hand. He then pressed his palm against the metal frame and focused his breath till the metal latched clicked securely. He pulled the mat back into place and settled into the cushions to review the chaos of notes and documents and maps and more. The tea was quite strong now, just the way he liked it.

Travahar sat surrounded by a chaos of papers. He was cross-referencing the registers of the military on the wall during the 600 day siege of Ba Sing Se and the resignation letter from Mu-Tan to the military when the siege ended. This was on his left. On his right was the mess of notes from Sun Fei about the comet, its historical consequences and some of her finer scathing remarks. He frowned and crumpled that particular page. Spread across the low table were maps of the city, architectural designs of temples, the ruling notes for the temple closures... as well as the legal documents about the Dai Li and Long Feng's arrest.

He was flipping through the old journal of the notes from the builders referring to the old city and wishing he had those old plans. In another journal, he was scrawling in his rough handwriting that most healers would envy as their own impossible to read style. He jotted down the notes about the Silver Circle he had gathered from his Pai Sho lesson and what he saw in Lake Laogai.

He sighed as he frowned and stretched and then reviewed more of the information, sipping his tea absentmindedly as he moved papers that were starting to make no sense.

There was the briefest of commotions in the hallway, signalling the impending interruption. "No, really, I can show myself in, thank you."

Travahar's eyes widened as he heard the familiar voice just outside the door. Moments later, Hwa Lan strode into the room, shaking her head. "Really, you'd think they'd never seen a woman before."

Travahar quickly stood. "Lan!" He looked like a kid caught stealing. He silently cursed himself for not locking the door.

Hwa Lan headed over to his desk, sighing. "Sorry I'm so late... I was practically drowning in my term papers... actually, I could really use a break from all of it..." He covered the journal he'd been writing in quickly as he stepped passed his papers, casually turning some over. Hwa Lan's eye managed to catch sight of a very particular seal on the cover of the journal before he managed to get close enough to her to try to block her view. She paused, noting his guilty look. "What are you up to anyhow?" she asked suspiciously, knowing the nobles do have a tendency to do all sorts of devious things to ruin one another.

Travahar took her hand and kissed her fingers with as much distracting charm as he could muster. "I didn't realize we were supposed to meet today. This? It's nothing, just some family research."

Despite his best efforts, however, Hwa Lan's keen eye moved over some of the less well-hidden scrolls, spotting the registers and seals of scrolls that were illegal to have outside the record keeper's office. "You did want help with that research still, didn't you?" she raised a brow for a moment, before looking back at him. "You must have a rather more exciting family history then I do..."

Travahar stepped closer and blocked most of the view now to the documents. "You should have asked one of the servants to peel me away from this sooner."

Hwa Lan was put off by his attempted manipulation. "I only just arrived... no need to bother your people... it's not like I haven't been here before..."

"Um... I'll sort it out... why don't we go out for lunch? My stuffy hidey-hole of a work room all the way out here is no place to be." He hoped to redirect her attention.

Try though he may, Hwa Lan could see Sun Fei's notes and recognized her sharp script about the comet, as well as and the maps and law records... yet more papers that he should not have, including the actual legal writ of Long Feng's arrest and imprisonment and Mu-Tan's resignation letter. These she caught with her keen sight. She missed very little, but decided to play along, for now. "That would be lovely, sure... it feels like it's been ages since I've been out. We can work on that project afterwards... oh, was Sun Fei helping too?" _Now what on EARTH do any of those documents have to do with his family, _she wondered. She did her best to be patient, trusting that he would tell her the truth shortly.

Travahar glanced back uncertain about leaving this in the open.

Hwa Lan laced her fingers through his, wondering why he seemed so nervous and what might he not want her to know.

He tipped her chin up with his free hand and gave her a soft short kiss, in the hopes that it might distract her further from what she'd seen and it was certainly a good distraction.

Pity it didn't erase memories. She gave in only too willingly to the kiss, making a mental note to look into all of this in the near future.

He led her out of the room and as he closed the door he discretely pressed his palm to the doorframe till the metal lock on the inside of the room slid into place.

She blinked, looking down at his hand. "Did you just...?"

"Just what? You have to close the door with just the right pressure. That's all." He lied as he offered her his arm, smiling warmly at her.

She took his arm daintily and allowed him to lead her away. The only thing more suspicious then all this research using illegal documents was how hard he seemed to be trying to keep her from figuring it out. Surely he couldn't think she was that naive.

He was unusually quiet as they walked the halls. He took note of every person they passed and every dark corner. He paused at his family Pai Sho game and fingered the white lotus tile a second before moving it boldly into the center square of the board. "Where would you like to go?"

Hwa Lan suggested. "There's a nice place not too far from the university that serves excellent udon noodles."

"Mmmm... wonderful!" He noted how foolish he was to not have eaten earlier and winced a little embarrassed as his stomach rumbled its need with the thought of food.

Hwa Lan looked about as he lead her outside, noting each servant's glance as they were watched, every disapproving look thrown her way. She frowned briefly before looking back at Travahar. "Great... shall we?"

He called a cart to take them and helped her into it. She settled into the cart demurely, arranging her skirts. His mind was still mentally trying to categorize all the information he had been cramming into it over the past couple hours. He settled in beside her for a leisurely ride to the university.

"Some of those papers looked... fairly hard to get. I had no idea you were so good at research," Hwa Lan said in a soft murmur.

He smiled "I have... sources," then he looked away as he wondered how hard the slap would be if she realized he charmed the record keeper's thirteen year old daughter for the documents. All his logic told him to push Hwa Lan away for her own good, but he enjoyed the challenge of her and her unrelenting personality.

Hwa Lan barely hid her distain, "I can only imagine you would... the seal on one of those scrolls... you should really lock those up before someone who cares a little less about you sees that you have it." His eyes snapped over to meet hers as he realized what she really had noticed. She truly was too sharp for her own good... and his. She was already looking out the side of the cart at the city, trying to seem as though nothing were wrong. "I'm not going to tell anyone, but don't lie to me. I know you a little too well to fall for it."

Travahar clenched his teeth as he sighed before speaking. "You are too smart for your own good sometimes. I... just don't want you hurt."

She snapped open her fan, fluttering the thin barrier between them as though drawing up a wall. He could almost sense the cold of her words. "I can take care of myself. I'm not the one stealing illegal documents, lord only knows how, and lying to friends about it."

Travahar felt a stab suddenly in his chest. "Lan..."

The cart stopped to let them out, and she slipped out without waiting for his aid. This was so not working out as he hoped. He just failed waterbending 101. His push and pull method was not working. He sighed guiltily and stepped out of the cart after her.

"Lan..." He spoke softly as the cart pulled away. He caught her elbow with his hand, his grip firm. His mind was running in fast circles trying to see how to salvage this. "Lan."

She turned to look at him, dark eyes flashing. "Was I just another 'source' too, to help you get what you wanted? How many other 'sources' do you have, Travahar? Do I even matter?"

His jaw muscles tensed. Her words were as harsh as Sun Fei's but stung far more than any slap. He released her arm. "You mean... too much to me... Enough that I want to try to keep you out of this, for your safety. You could be killed for... if you... Lan... there are terrible things happening within these walls and it is going to get ugly as some point. I would love your help with what I am doing... but... I... "

Hwa Lan clipped his speech short. "There are always terrible things going on, Travahar. But using people doesn't make this city any better, doesn't FIX the problem. If you care about me then be honest with me. I can handle it. If you can't do that... don't call on me anymore."

"Perhaps it is better that you hate me. Then I won't have to worry about you being assassinated in your sleep." He looked down and in a quieter tone added, "you have no idea how much I WANT to be honest with you. I never thought I would care this much for you that I would be reduced to being afraid for you." He turned and walked away.

She blinked back angry tears as he walked away from her. She turned and fled from the scene. Angry. Mortified. Heartbroken.

He hated himself a thousand-fold as the pain sunk into him and he was glad his back was to her so she could not see that pain written in his expression. He hardly tasted the food he ate at a little restaurant near the tram when he finally decided to eat and go to the dojo.

-----

The class at the dojo had dwindled down to the most determined students. The excitement and tension could be tasted in the air. The room buzzed with the pending competition, which was barely a week away. Ling was informing the guardians of the younger classes that he would be there to supervise the selected students in the junior competition. The senior group was just as excited. Ling had failed in getting them to meditate with all their distractedness and resigned to working out, stretching, and going moving the katas and forms instead.

Once warmed up, the students were paired off for practice sparring. Hwa Lan had shown up as though determined to prove her worth this evening. No one had ever seen her fight so fiercely before. Mu-Tan was watching everyone carefully, wondering where Zuko had gotten too. He frowned slightly at Hwa Lan's determination and occasionally addressed her technique to keep it from getting sloppy.

When he asked Travahar and Hwa Lan to spar next, Travahar made a small shake of his head. Travahar had not met her eyes all evening, he wasn't sure he could now. She had not so much as glanced Travahar's way, radiating ice if he even got near her by accident. She waited to see if Mu Tan would insist that they fight.

One student whispered to another, "I smell a lover's spat... wanna bet that Travahar bleeds? The hells have no fury worse than a woman scorned. Travahar is doomed to eat mat." The look Hwa Lan gave those students was enough to melt stone.

Mu-Tan insisted. He trusted that they could handle each other while he supervised the other students and taught them some new moves. Travahar was decent at sparring with the less experienced, not as well as Zuko turned out to be, but then Zuko was not here. He would then have Travahar spar with another if there was time. Ling kept watch on the time and would signal Mu-Tan. There was an important meeting they had to be at.

She rolled her shoulder back and stepped up on to the mat, taking a readied stance and waiting for Travahar to do the same. He took his sturdy horse stance that was hard to move him out of. He just waited and watched. Zuko's entry into the dojo made him glance that direction for a brief moment as though he had been waiting for his "partner in crime" to enter. Hwa Lan had bowed honorably before the match was declared, and took the moment of Travahar's distraction to knock him off balance. He growled and rolled her over to briefly pin her as though under a heavy boulder before springing back.

Zuko paused to watch a few moments as his expression darkened. He remembered he had to speak with Hwa Lan. Mu-Tan had already denied any involvement with the naming at the social event.

She brought up her elbow to jab him sharply in the gut as he pinned her, rolling up to her feet smoothly once he sprang back. His next moves were careful; he never used anything outside her own repertoire as he remembered how Zuko calculated moves.

Zuko wandered into the back to change and ready for the end of class after quietly apologizing to Mu-Tan for being late. He explained that he needed to bring Ty-min home. Travahar's attention split a moment between what Zuko was saying to Mu-Tan and Hwa Lan as his current opponent. He seemed relieved about the reason for "Lee's" tardiness.

Hwa Lan again took the opening and swept his feet out from under him, combining that with a harsh blow to his shoulder to ensure that he fell back into the mats. She stepped back quickly to avoid him sweeping her in turn.

He hit the mats hard and cursed himself for not paying better attention. That would leave a few black bruises. He rolled over to a tiger stance, couched for a pounce that changed in mid-air to a simpler move as he remembered Hwa Lan had not yet learned to block the tiger pounce. He landed heavy to knock her to the mats in turn, but held back his force.

She rolled with the force of the pounce, bringing up a leg to keep him from keeping a hold on her and ultimately using the strength in her leg to push him off.

As his feet hit the mat they left it just as quickly as he closed the distance. In a grapple, he hisses, "I am not your enemy, Lan... for gods' sake."

She growled back, "Don't speak to me so familiarly. You haven't the right." She pushed him off as he misstepped and hit the mat on his back.

Mu-Tan called a halt. Travahar stood and bowed to Hwa Lan. He mentally noted to not under estimate her again. Zuko was right; she was remarkably formidable even with just basic moves. She immediately backed off and bowed only as much as necessary to Travahar before looking to their sifu.

Mu-Tan raised an eyebrow. That was definitely an interesting sparring match. Ling signaled Mu-Tan. "HwaLan, since you seem to have such energy, why don't you start the late practice with Lee and the three of you can take turns sparring while I step out? I assume I can leave you all to respect the rules while I am out?" He looked at each in turn. Zuko and Travahar bowed. "When I return, you will break and then work on the team styles for the competition." Mu-Tan dismissed the rest of the class and headed out for his meeting.

She bowed to Mu Tan when the boys did and squared her shoulders. She knew she wasn't ready to face Lee in a fight, even if he did gauge himself according to his opponent, not any more then she'd been ready to face Travahar. However, she also wasn't about to admit it. She knew she was still very good with the basics, and advanced warriors often forgot that and succumbed to the basic moves as Travahar already had. She would wait for the opening of a distraction again was all.

Travahar told Zuko that he was stepping into the back for a drink and to cool off for a few moments. He needed to clear his mind and distract his own inner turmoil. Zuko nodded, that was fine with him, it gave him one-on-one with Hwa Lan. He could not have asked for better.

She stretched for a moment and returned to the mat, waiting for "Lee" to join her there. She bowed to him as to an equal. "I haven't seen you since the party... how have you been?"

Seeing her and remembering the surprise of his private name announced aloud, brought back a number of small and large angry moments that stressed his past few days. "Busy." It was an expected reply as he was usually quiet curt. He bowed, his features dark and dangerous.

The back and forth they engaged in was clearly him assessing Hwa Lan's abilities, wary of her breaking his root as he had broken Admiral Zhao's with the basics. He was likely not to hold back as Travahar had. She readied herself, moving carefully as a distraction in the hopes of getting him to move toward her in the wrong direction so she could get at him from the other.

He was less predictable than Travahar. His feints were more believable. As he stepped in, he whirled to catch her incoming blow and knocked her face first into the mat. His moves were a mix of the Hung Gar she had learned and something else, perhaps some of the Fire Nation moves she had seen him use before. He waited for her to be ready again. He was like a hungry and hunting animal that was barely patient for its prey. He clearly didn't hold back his strength.

She quickly rolled, trying to get back to her footing before he could pin her down. _Oww, _she thought to herself as his blows truly hurt His look put her off, frankly. There was nothing sportsmen like about it, and as far as she knew, there was no reason for him to be mad at her. _And that last throw HURT more then expected._ She resisted the urge to rub her nose. He came at her with a serious of fast strikes, driving her back. None of his strikes touched her, just setting her further off balance. Then he unexpectedly swept her feet from under her. She landed on her backside harshly, wincing for a moment before pushing back up to her feet. "I somehow don't think I'm meant to spar with the advanced class," she said, trying to lighten the mood, and failing.

Unrelenting, he pounced with a twist catching her leg in his and forcing her firmly to the ground, where he pinned her firmly. "It is convenient that you get to stay. I have been itching to ask you... Who told you my name was Huo Long?" His voice was deep and hinted at threatening.

Travahar was just towling himself dry in the back.

She looked up at him, eyes widening. The pin was rather more painful when he did it then when Travahar had. "I...no one told me. I thought it just suited you... and with the tournament coming up..."

"It is a dangerous thing to name me thus." He said fiercely as his golden eyes locked onto hers.

_What... his name was HuoLong? As in, his actual name?_ She forgot about the pin and the pain. She looked at him, mouth opening and then… _wait. Huo Long and Leu Long?_ She looked toward the changing room, where Travahar was emerging from. "Oh...OH…" _oh dear._

Travahar stepped out, dropped his towel and threw himself at Zuko.

Realization dawned on her. _So that's what Travahar had been hiding, and how all those scrolls were his family business. He was the missing Earth Prince!_

The two hit the ground with such force it was startling and they began to circle one another as dragon's might.

Hwa Lan rolled up to her feet, wincing a little. "Stop..."

They ignored her quiet order. "Don't you EVER touch her or spar with her as you do with me!" yelled Travahar.

She blinked at them, at Travahar.

Zuko blocked the shots and the avalanche of Travahar's body. In the back of his mind he thought how much justice this was for Travahar to feel now as Zuko had felt that day Travahar had touched Faelin. "I needed to know," he said in a low voice.

Travahar snarled, "You could have just ASKED!"

Zuko snapped back, "She could get us both killed with that stupidity!"

The blows were harsh and jarring back and forth. Hwa Lan watched, unsure how to end this. _Wait, stupidity?_ "I didn't know until YOU just told me!"

Zuko stood up straight effectively and suddenly avoiding Travahar's tiger pounce. Travahar fell dumbly to the floor and picked himself up.

"Honestly, the both of you were made for each other," she stalked toward the changing room.

Zuko was too quick. He caught up to her and pinned her to the wall. "No, Zuko!" yelled Travahar. Travahar walked cautiously forward and drew Hwa Lan gently out of Zuko's grip. "She ..." He looked into her eyes and took a great leap or hope, hope that she understood the danger of what he was saying. "She can be trusted," he said softly as he pulled her to him protectively.

Zuko took several heavy breaths as shame crept into his features. "I'm... sorry, Hwa Lan. Trust... has not..." He walked back to the middle of the dojo.

Travahar finished for him, "Trust is not easy for him... or me..."

She was hardly certain whether to be more angry or afraid of what was happening. Lee, no… Zuko, was right. She knew far too much. She looked from one to the other. "I have been a friend to both of you..." _More to one then the other, granted._ "If you had any doubts or suspicions, you should have just asked. I deserved better then this, this afternoon, and far more then this, tonight. I'm not going to tell anyone, but you should both be aware that if I can figure out who you both are," she eye bore into Travahar, "Then others will know too."

"When you named us Leu Long and Huo Long, you almost wrote our death sentences for all to know." Zuko spoke through clenched teeth.

She shook her head. "It was done in innocence."

Travahar's brows knit together. "That is why I didn't want you... involved. I don't know how it is all playing out yet."

"You would do better to keep your allies close and strong then to push them away when you need them the most." Hwa Lan chastised them both.

Zuko looked over, "She's sharp, Travahar. Like Sun Fei. And… right... we need some allies."

"Fei knows too?" _oh thank the ancestors._ Hwa Lan was relieved she not alone.

"Too many people know... and it is very unsettling," said Zuko. "With the names known for the competition, we have to think of something. You know they will look upon us as representing the nations, even if they don't add it up as true... And some will be as sharp as she is... what then?"

Travahar turned. "I don't know. I have too many bloody unanswered questions and have lost the lives of some of those I have trusted before, not much more than a week or so ago, those I thought were surely safe."

She paced away from Travahar, and then stopped, wincing as she set weight on a sore ankle. She leaned against the wall instead, crossing her arms. "Have Mu-Tan name you officially and do some sort of presentation as though to emphasize how you earned those two names."

Travahar tossed off the notion, "He has never been in the competitions before. Ling takes us. Mu-Tan would be recognized." Zuko cuffs him off the back of the head.

Travahar looked at him, "It's true. It's why he never goes. He resigned off the wall at the end of the siege. If he showed now, it would cause a stir."

She made the obvious link. _Ah. THAT Mu-Tan. As in general Mu Tan. Of course!!_ "Then have Ling name you. There are ways that you can play off the names to make them seem boastful rather then serious."

Zuko raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "And how would you explain my name?!"

Hwa Lan smirked, barely. "Your personality isn't exactly Water Tribe, Lee."

Travahar snorted, "Nor are your moves." Travahar paused to think. "You came in as a refugee. You learned because you were keen and watched. Mu-Tan recognized it and encouraged you to learn what you could from texts. I am sure the girls can dig out the texts on the styles from the library. The dojo belongs to an old Dragon. It could be his coming out of retirement."

"Great. More research..." she muttered, rubbing at a sore wrist.

Travahar casually walked up without even thinking or changing his train of thought, he took her wrist and massaged it. "We are of the Noble Dragon Dojo... she is right, we are the elite of this dojo, why not name us dragons. So what if it is presumptuous! We are noble dragons of the Noble Dragon Dojo!"

Hwa Lan almost sighed at the relief Travahar brought with the massage. "That was sort of what I had been doing at the party..."

"If you scuttle like a coward, they will think you have something to hide." Which is what Travahar had already learned this afternoon with Hwa Lan.

Zuko's hand shot out to strike Travahar for the comment and was blocked by Travahar's shoulder in case the shot might have hit Hwa Lan "I am not calling you one." Travahar smirked where Hwa Lan could see his manipulation but not Zuko. "He isn't very patient to do such devious planning," he whispers mischievously to her.

Hwa Lan warned, "You both need to calm down. If you want to do this properly you both need to think with level heads." She pulled away from Travahar. "I'm still angry at you," she pointed out.

"Well, at least you didn't slap me. Sun Fei slapped me... a few times." Travahar looked sheepish.

"I bet you earned it, too," hissed Hwa Lan.

"You deserved it!" barked Zuko.

Hwa Lan sat down carefully, wincing again. She was certain she'd be covered in bruises by morning.

Travahar muttered under his breath not thinking either heard, "Lan's words before hurt more than any slap." He looked from Zuko to Hwa Lan, "Did he hurt you bad?"

Zuko winced with the shame of it. He hadn't meant to lose control.

"I'll live," she said coolly. "Nothing got broken." Here eyes met Travahar's. "It hurt more to be lied to."

"I'm sorry ... Hwa Lan. I... wanted to protect you. It hurt to lie to you. I want nothing more than to have what Zuko has. The love and trust of... someone. It has just... been forbidden me." He whispered so only she could hear. Zuko could probably hear, but Zuko was kneeling in attempted meditation, giving them some privacy.

"It never seemed to stop you before," she said, unrelenting. "and..." she hushed as Mu-Tan entered.

Mu-Tan came in sensing the awkwardness. His brows furrowed. His eyes quickly assessed the situation. "Travahar, take HwaLan home. And don't dally. You two have a lot to learn."

Travahar offered Hwa Lan his hand, to help her up and support her if she wanted. She took it after a moment, but there had been a clear pause of deliberation first. "I'll just go change," she murmured, and slipped into the back. Travahar stepped out to call a cart.

When he stepped back in, Mu-Tan called them both to him. "We will discuss this later, in the morning. I want to know what transpired and hope you get it clearly sorted out and copasetic by then." They both bow to him, both looking shameful.

Hwa Lan returned after a few minutes, limping slightly but trying to hide it. Travahar offered his arm for support, watching her with discreet concern. This really had so not gone as he hoped and he had no idea now where it was going to go. Hwa Lan took Travahar's arm after a few more steps. She bowed politely to Mu-Tan on her way out. Travahar helped her into the cart for the trip to the tram and sat next to her. She settled carefully. "Mu-Tan should know better then to have a beginner spar with the advanced class just to make a point," she muttered.

"He likely expected Lee to spar with you as I did. He usually does when sparring against someone with less training. He is normally much better at gauging and training someone than I... but he was upset... and for that I am sorry. That was... my fault. I kind of set him off balance yesterday... and he has been edgy since."

She let out a slow breath. "You can't be held responsible for his actions. He's a grown man."

Travahar corrected her. "In this case... I think I can. He never knew the historical events and results of Sozen's comet. I knew that. I knew he had sheltered and censored education. I had Sun Fei show him. And apparently the comet is coming again... at the end of this coming summer."

She was quiet for several long moments, putting all the information together. "That's not good. Not at all."

Travahar pursed his lips. "It is also not much time."

"That too." She frowned. "What is he going to do?"

He weighs how much to tell her. She can see him calculating in his head "I don't know. I don't think he knows yet either. Both our lives are very... complicated at the moment. Neither of us really have any power to do anything about it... yet. We lack information."

She cast her eyes down and toyed with the pattern of her dress. "I really had no idea who you were... I'd have never..."

"I... know. I meant everything I said on the balcony that night." He wanted her to believe him, wanted to reassure her of his feelings.

She took a breath. "I'm not... what you said before, about it being forbidden... I... everything we've had... I know you say it doesn't matter, but one day it will... and then what? I want so much to just... have this be some stupid fight and forget about it... but you aren't going to be in hiding forever."

Travahar sighed. "No... I'm not. And I did mean what I said. I... I need you Lan. You are not flighty, you are not foolish or stupid or self-absorbed. You are the brightest and most intelligent woman I have ever met. You don't take any crap from me and ... somehow you see through me. You don't miss a single thing, not even the smallest deception. I would rather have you by my side than any other." He was annoyed at how suddenly shy he felt inside and prayed it did not show outside. He tried to breathe grace back into himself.

It was infuriating to her that he could disarm her like that, with a few well-chosen words. She wished she could stay angry with him longer somehow, but he was saying everything she wanted to hear, needed him to say. "I want to be there, too."

"I can't promise that it will be easy, or safe... especially not safe. I am not sure how I will be able to protect you. I have a tough enough time trying to keep myself protected. I don't know how Zuko keeps a thousand things in his head. I can't even organize a pile of papers. But I know the court. And I don't care if they hate my decision... I... I am not sure they will care actually, considering what is coming..." He shut his mouth as he realized he was now babbling. _I was so smooth on the balcony,_ he thought. _Why does she have the power to fluster me like no other?_

She slowly turned to face him and hesitated before putting her hand on his. "We can make it through this… whatever is coming... we can handle it, just... trust me."

He allowed their eyes to meet again. "I will. But sometimes... you will have to trust me even if all the evidence counters what I tell you."

She nodded slowly.

Travahar sat in silence, pondering. "I have a long night at the dojo tonight and every night till the competition."

"I know," her tone was softer.

Travahar tried to explain and dodge at the same time. "I will be training and I will be helping out with something else that I can't tell you about yet. Just trust that I am not doing what people might say I am."

Concerned, she asked, "What are they going to say?"

Travahar was quiet while he considered his answer, failing to find proper words, "That I am out with an escort being wild in some private room above the dojo. I'm not. Not exactly… well, not. Oh hells and demons..."

She blinked and then laughed. "You have enough women dying to be with you. I can't imagine you paying for a woman... that's one thing you don't have to worry about me believing."

He blushed, "I am actually usually paying to be with several... but not for the reasons people think. I have never done anything with any of them," he confessed. "But this one is from a red lantern house. And I am paying a small fortune for her time, more now, than I would for the top Geisha." He sighed, annoyed.

Hwa Lan with curiosity, "Who is she?"

He realized what he said would likely never be believed by the average woman. _Good thing Hwa Lan was not the average woman._

"And why?" she had to ask.

"Her name is Faelin... I will tell you more when we are not on the tram." The cart came to a halt and Travahar helped her out and into the tram. She let him help her with less hesitation this time, thinking about all the pieces that have begun to fall into the puzzle. He remained silent during the tram ride till they got into a cart in the Upper Ring. "Are we going to a dorm at the university or to your parents' home?" Before waiting for an answer he said, "Promise not to say anything to Lee or anyone else, just yet. He'd kill me if he knew I spent so much time with his beloved Faelin."

"I won't tell anyone... and we're going to the dorm... I don't want to explain the bruises to my parents." She made a sour face. "They already disapprove of me taking martial arts. It's **unwomanly**."

He leaned out and hollered to the cart man to take them to the University dorms.

Hwa Lan sighed sadly. "Poor Sun Fei... if I had known that he was involved, I'd have never pushed so hard to set them up."

As he sat back, he put his arm around her and gently hugged her. "You may ask me anything now... at least till we arrive. I will answer as best I can. Well, that is kind of where it is complicated. She is an indentured servant."

Hwa Lan gasped in surprise. "At a red lantern house?"

Travahar nodded. "Yes, I managed to convince them to force her to be my escort, and I pay for her exclusivity."

It pained her to think she instigated something that could never be. "Fei is a good woman... she deserves someone who can love her back."

"I was hoping he might find some interest in Sun Fei, too." Travahar shrugged. "I am only starting to see how deeply Faelin and Lee do love each other. When a man endures giving up everything he has for a woman and knows he cannot even be close to her and a woman endures the first level of silencing for him... I am not sure I could endure so strongly."

"Oh that poor woman," she winced in sympathy. "No wonder he's so on edge."

Travahar quickly blurted, "He doesn't know!" Hwa Lan's eyes widened. "He doesn't know. He has a wild fiery temper. He would just... lose it! He is too unbalanced to have that added to his difficulties."

She nodded agreement. "I'd have been dead on that mat."

"He wouldn't have killed you. Not there. And not unless you truly were intending to tell the authorities." Travahar assured her. "He might have burnt down the red lantern house without thinking of the results of his exposure, though. As harsh a man as he is, it is not in him to murder. Thankfully. He is so very not like his sister. I have documents of the things she has been doing outside our walls."

Hwa Lan wrinkled her face at the notion of Azula: "I've only heard rumors myself... they call her a demon spawn."

Disdainfully, Travahar explains, "For a girl of barely fifteen or sisteen years, she is deadly, sadistic and more devious than anyone I have read about in history."

"Lovely," Hwa Lan rolled her eyes.

Travahar remarked, "She is demon spawn. Lee calls her that too. He won't refer to any of his family as family except his uncle."

"His Uncle? As in… THE Dragon of the West?" She whispered. "The man who served me tea at the jasmine Dragon is the Dragon of the West?!"

Travahar nodded. "Yes, he is. Shhh…"

Her gaze drifted out the cart window a moment to watch the picturesque buildings go by. "We are living in far too interesting times."

Travahar reminded her, "and he's just as retired as Mu-Tan"

Hwa Lan shifted in her seat startled by her own thoughts, "Do you suppose they've met?"

"You think this is interesting? You should read the chaos you disturbed me in. And... yes, they have. Once in a while they both train Lee at the dojo. Lee drills himself harder than any of the best military. It would kill me to try to keep up. I don't think I will be able to beat him in the competition... and if it really got to a fight, a real fight. I would have to draw on everything I have just to survive," he admitted.

"You could out smart him or out maneuver him in court any day," she thought out loud with some pride.

"He's catching up to me there, too. I am trying to keep him my equal... and my friend. Just think, if the two princes of earth and fire managed to declare a truce on friendship?" Travahar mused.

"It could change the world..." she smiled, just a little.

"He adheres more strongly to a stricter honor code than anyone of the Earth Nation. It is like he clings to traditions that even I have forgotten. If we could remember who we were... And never forget who we are... It could change the world. With the avatar's help…. It could end the war and bring about peace for the first time in 100 years…." He almost laughed. "But I am getting ahead of myself."

"Do you think you're that close? Even with the comet so near?" She tried not to sound too eager.

"I don't know yet. I have a ton of information locked in a room that needs to be read and sorted and understood before I can say how close I am," he advised. "And Lee still has some issues of his own to sort through."

"You could let me help for real this time." She bit her lower lip, hoping.

He didn't want to detract from her studies. "If you are done exams then, between lunch and class. I am training on Lee's psychotic dawn to noon schedule and then again evening till midnight. Well, not all the evening is training."

Hwa Lan reassured him, "I'll be there as much as I can to help you sort through it all."

Travahar insited, "This competition is important. It is the second time I step into the real public. I need to start establishing a different, strong, and capable reputation."

The cart rolled into the university grounds and began its winding path toward the dormitory.

"It will certainly help you go a long way, but buying women from red lantern houses… if you're caught, could also go a long way to harming what you're trying to achieve, too," she paused. "If you're trying to do what I think you're trying to do, this is a good first step, but not nearly enough."

Travahar squeezed her shoulders gently. "One thing at a time. Contrary to popular belief, I don't multitask that well."

"One thing at a time," she agreed. He grinned. She chuckled. "I can help with that for sure."

As he was thinking how his reputation had him able to please several women at once and the contrast that thought made with her words caused him to burst into laughter.

Hwa Lan looked confused, "What?"

"hehehe," he spoke through his laughter, "I was just thinking of my reputation of being good at um... multitasking... and then what you said... hehe."

She laughed, blushing.

Calming and getting a bit more serious, "I prefer one thing at a time... and really prefer exclusive attention." He kissed her cheek lightly and whispers into her ear, "I really mean that I want you by my side... forever."

The cart rolled to a stop.

She shivered, the words sinking in. "Are you asking?" She dared not assume.

"Yes," he whispered, thinking he was never so sure of anything more and then stepped out to help her from the cart. "You need not answer now. I have nothing with me to be formal about this."

She stepped out with him. Just this morning she wanted nothing more then to walk away from him. And now? "Ask me again, later," she said softly.

"Oh... I will. That is a promise." His eyes flashed with his charming grin and he escorted her to the door. Bowing deeply, he winked at her and got back into the cart to return to the dojo.

She almost forgot to bow in kind, watching him leave.


	52. Chapter 52: Zuko's Stomach Chakra Trial

_**Chapter 52: Zuko's Solar Plexus Chakra Trial**_

Travahar hurried back as quickly as he could to hear the tail end of Mu-Tan sparring harshly with Zuko. Apparently, Mu-Tan was "putting things into perspective," as Travahar overheard when he came in. As he stepped onto the mats, it was clear that most of the fight was now gone from Zuko. He was exhausted. Travahar was concerned. This was not what he expected. And yet, it was time Zuko did get a reality check on the mats from someone ready to give it to him.

Mu-Tan had them take the seated meditation pose and explained the importance of teammates, partners, and alliances. It seemed almost a mix of knowing one's self, knowing your partner, and knowing your enemies… most importantly, knowing the difference between friends and enemies. The discussion was followed by a description of team tactics.

They started this evening by facing each other in an hour long observation. They were told to be mindful of everything they observe in that very moment of the other. Then they were given time to write what they observed. They were told this would repeat in the morning. They were dismissed from the dojo.

As Travahar left the dojo, Zuko stopped him. Zuko wanted to say something but didn't know just what. He stepped aside and let Travahar pass. Zuko had to prepare to face another chakra rite. He really didn't want to, but knew he had to and that the reasons why were extremely important to not just him. He would do anything for Faelin. This would bring him a step closer. If he could give her nothing else, he would give her himself in service. He just needed to be able to keep himself in check. As Zuko made his way down the stairs for that evening's trunk for the rite, the shame of his behavior these past days made him queasy. Maybe he was just queasy from not eating much today. He slumped down on the bottom step.

Travahar walked away from the dojo to the red lantern house wondering what it was Zuko was about to tell him. His head, though, was full of many other thoughts. The lecture on working together was crucial to his life, not just the competition. He wondered if Zuko understood that. When he met with Faelin, he thought about how much trouble they were going through and the reasons why. "Faelin?" he asked hesitantly. "Do you love him?"

She stopped in mid-stride, surprised by his question. _Zuko…_ she thought. They had been apart so long. She longed for him. She missed him holding her and watching over her sleep at night. Now both were impossible. At best, she sees him for the rites. Even that was a risk. Yet, when her eyes met Travahar's, there was no doubt. She simply nodded.

He smiled and put his arm around her as someone walked passed them. "I confessed the same to Hwa Lan today. I can't believe I dared to. And I can't believe how nervous I felt… nor how relieved I was that I had. I wish things were different and we could be who we are… be with who we want when we want." He paused then continued. "I asked her to be by my side always, regardless of what the future holds. Do you think that was foolish?"

Faelin hadn't realized what situation Travahar was in. She didn't really know his background. So she wondered if he was caught like her and Zuko. She smiled. Confessing love was nothing to be ashamed of and was never really foolish. At least it wasn't as far as she was concerned. What was foolish was denying it.

They walked in silence after that. When they sat by the Fountain of Lights, she was pleased to find that someone had lit the lanterns that evening. She took out of her pocket some leather cords that she was weaving into a flat four-strand weave. Travahar looked over at what she was doing. Faelin wanted to explain it to him, puzzling with how to. She took Travahar's arm and stretched it out, amused by his compliancy out of curiosity and his perplexed expression. She then wrapped the band around his upper arm. Realization lit his face and she smiled.

"Are you making that for him?" he asked with wonderment.

Faelin nodded. She knew that Zuko would likely want arm bands again in the competition. It would be like facing someone in Agni Kai. There were certain things to wear that were appropriate. Besides, his were lost with his old belongings and this would help him remember the pride and honor he carried deep inside him.

She finished the first armband when Travahar indicated it was time to go. She tucked it back into hiding within her clothing. Again Travahar put his arm around her as he escorted her to the dojo. They nodded occasionally to passers by. There were more people on the streets as the weather was slightly warmer.

-----

The trunk that Zuko carried up was heavier than the previous two. It was covered in yellow and gold lacquered and woven bamboo. Zuko knew the routine now. He was to set up the small table and cushion he would find inside as Mu-Tan explained each item. These items and instructions helped him to understand what he was doing and why. It still felt like "avatar stuff" but this was how Silver Circle Guards were initiated. Balance and control were needed to be Silver Circle. Zuko knew, even if he would never admit it aloud, that he lacked both. His uncle had been trying to tell him this in many small ways over the years. Zuko had just been too stubborn and impulsive to understand or accept. It hurt his pride to accept. It wounded his sense of honor to admit it. _What honor do I have left? What pride do I now have?_ After the past few days… shame settled like a sour lump of fouled food in his stomach.

The symbol on this new box was of a yellow and gold sun. The silver circle was still present. Within the yellow and gold sun was a gold triangle pointing upward. Within the golden triangle was fire opal. He remembered it from the one the seer gave him and wondered where this one came from. The seer had said as he asked her about his mother, _"you will see this again and know your path… but her… she is wrapped too deeply from my visions."_ The flickers inside the fire opal drew his attention as he passed his fingers over it. They were so alive. Was his mother?

Mu-Tan began, "This chakra is related to…"

"Fire," finished Zuko.

Mu-Tan nodded. "What can you tell me about the symbol?"

Zuko looked at it and fingered the flaming fire opal once more. "The upright triangle is the alchemical symbol for fire. The colors are yellow and gold and orange, though orange is not the focus as it was for the last chakra. This chakra is also associated with the sun since this symbol looks like a sun."

Again Mu-Tan nodded, the corners of his mouth curling up as he was proud how Zuko was now able to deduce these things on his own. "The chakra is the solar plexus. It is between your heart and your navel."

Still feeling slightly queasy, he asked his next question, dreading the answer. "Would that make it the stomach chakra, too?"

Mu-Tan smirked. "Some refer to it as the stomach chakra."

Zuko wished he could nibble some bread before this rite. He took a deep breath and tried hard to forget his looming nausea. In the center of the dojo, he placed all the contents of the trunk while Ling prepared what promised to be another foul concoction to call forth the energies of the next chakra. Mu-Tan was lighting short torches around the dojo.

The small table that Zuko pulled out of the little trunk was covered in gold. It may even have been a solid gold sheet. He knelt and placed his hands upon it to heat it subtly with firebending. That confirmed it. It was a sheet about a quarter inch think of solid gold. _No wonder it was so heavy!_ The little table had many divots on three sides. The tea light candles in the trunk fit into them. Five on each end and ten across the opposite side from where Zuko would sit. There was a zafu cushion covered in yellow silk brocade with red dragons and golden phoenixes. There was an oil burner made of citrine which Zuko figured went into the center of the table. He set a tea light candle in place in the oil burner. He took a small cup from the kitchen and poured a little water into the oil burner. There were three small bottles of oil: ginger, cinnamon, clove. Mu-Tan instructed Zuko to put three drops of each into the oil burner. The spicy scent did not help Zuko's nausea. He pulled out the vibrant fiery colored scrolls and hung them. He caught the silver and gold threads out of the corners of his eyes.

Zuko saw some small flatbread with a thin layer of paste on a plate by Ling and was relieved. Hopefully some of that bread will help settle his stomach as he meditated. The drink was, however, not a heated tea. Zuko wondered what it could be.

"Each scent and each spice is a reminder of fire and will all help to open the chakra," explained Mu-Tan.

According to the routine before, Zuko followed suit. He bowed to Mu-Tan and then to Ling. Ling offered him a small flatbread with the rice paper thin spreading of paste and a very small (almost sake cup sized) cup of liquid. He had intended to not waste the pain and suffering and gulped down the liquid. It made him cough and wheeze as it burned down into his stomach. Ling sighed at Zuko's impulsiveness and poured him a second cup. "I have to drink more of this?" asked Zuko incredulously. Ling nodded. Zuko took the small bit of bread and ate it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered this taste but could not place it. He swallowed a second small cup of fiery alcohol and ate a second bit of bread. Then it hit him. His sister had given him something similar while giggling all the while. Wasabe! The burning hit him a moment later along with the realization. He swallowed down the last of the cups of liquid before realizing it was likewise fiery. It made his head swim a little. He stood. He had never ingested strong alcohol before. It was generally not wise with firebenders to get drunk, especially with their tempers. He carefully walked upstairs. His stomach wanted to rebel. He tried hard to ignore it as he undressed and prepared for the rite.

-----

Travahar came in with Faelin. As before, he headed downstairs to stretch, practice, and meditate. His curiosity nagged at him. _Maybe… just maybe I could manage to eavesdrop or peak in a little without notice._

Faelin knelt before Ling and took a few moments to breathe and relax. She could already sense the fiery nature in the substances before him. She hated wasabe, truly. She sipped the alcoholic brew more carefully and more warily than Zuko, though she only had one small cup. Ling whispered to her with a smirk, "I gave him three." She threw her arms in the air with exasperation. _Was the man insane?! Zuko was no earthbender who could hold liquor._ Her expression went from exasperation to frustration and ended with her slapping Ling soundly and hurrying up the stairs.

Zuko was meditating when she appeared at the door. Judging by the slight waver, she was unsure he would be in any condition to do this rite. His inhibitions were certainly lowered as he smiled openly at her. She was careful to keep her distance as he rose and followed her down the stairs. She took her place and shifted her focus to his energy as he sat almost gingerly on the cushion. Mu-Tan frowned and looked as Ling who almost could not contain his smirking.

Mu-Tan decided to begin this rite a bit differently. "This is the rite of the stomach chakra where our self-control can be found. Within the bowels of this," and he lit an incense stick he chose from a box on the shrine and walked about the room. "Within the bowels of this lies our shame which roils and moves to rise and block us." He spoke slowly and moved in slow swirling patterns.

The scent was heavy in the air. The movement blurred in Zuko's vision. The notion of roiling in the stomach, well… that was too much. His stomach muscles suddenly seized and he lurched quickly into the changing room. He barely made it. He dropped to his hands and knees on the floor by a bucket and vomited. He vomited several more times till his arms were shaking and might not hold him up. He had gone from feeling hot to being clammy and cold. The alcohol was finally out of him, along with everything else that burned terribly in his stomach.

Faelin was furious. Mu-Tan was too. Ling didn't know firebenders so well. This was not an amusing prank and wasted very precious time. Ling apologized profusely and quickly started brewing something to help settle Zuko's violent reactions. Faelin carried it into the changing room where she soaked a cloth and damped away Zuko's sweat. She brought the cup to his lips and he pushed it away not wanted to go through this more. She gently brought it back to his lips and he sipped. It was chalky and minty. She cradled him in her arms a moment and then as her tattoos glowed a little, she called some balance back into Zuko's body.

"I'm ok," he muttered with embarrassment. "Let's get this over with."

She led him out and back to Ling. She wished she could say something to him. Especially now. But that bolt in her tongue was a solid reminder.

Zuko looked warily at Ling, golden eyes flashing a little. Ling apologized again, this time to Zuko. He offered the same bread with the wasabe. Zuko was ready for it this time. The cup of liquid, fiery liquor he refused. "There is enough burning going on in my stomach." Then he sat on the cushion. Mu-Tan showed him the proper posture for it. It was remarkably comfortable. He noted that he would want one for meditations when he got home.

After a few moments of simple meditation there, Mu-Tan told Zuko to light the candles. That was an easy task for a firebender. For Zuko, it took only a gentle sweep of his hand and the tea lights on the small table and under the oil burner were lit. Their flames grew a little and lessened as he inhaled and exhaled. It set the rhythm for the room. Now settled, they were ready to begin again.

Travahar climbed the stairs and leaned on the top of the last stair. He peaked around the corner to see the room lit by so much fire. His eyes grew wide. The heavy scent hit him suddenly with its spiciness. What caught him the most were the tapestries and Faelin. She had honey-gold tattoos that were softly aglow like the many candles. And the tapestries… They had gold and silver threading that came to life in the candlelight, revealing images… images from Zuko's life.

Iroh entered quietly as he had received a message earlier, inviting him. He knelt quietly out of main view so as not to distract.

Mu-Tan's voice was low and resonant as he spoke similar words as the night before. It was ritual. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The third chakra will be your stomach or solar pluxus chakra. It is located above your navel and below your heart in the soft spot just below the sternum of your ribcage. Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

The hot and spicy scent rose from the oils in the burner. Zuko nodded his readiness. Ling stood and created a circle of salt around the interior perimeter of the dojo. Mu-tan's deep voice resonated again into the room. "This chakra deals with inner strength, power, will-power, self control and the freedom to be one's self."

Zuko felt struck by that last more than anything. At no point in his life did he ever feel like he had the true freedom to be himself. Not even now. How could he? How could anyone. They were in the middle of a war. They had a time limit until a comet came and who knew WHAT Ozai had planned, but it was not going to be good for anyone, Zuko was sure.

Mu-Tan continued, "And it is blocked by shame." Zuko winced. Shame… that was the theme of the past few days for him. "What are you ashamed of?"

_What am I ashamed of? There is so much. Pictures from the history books flashed in his mind. Pictures of the villages destroyed and the people burned to death and left for the vulture-crows to peck at. The memory of his father agreeing with the senseless slaughter of the green recruits, just to lure out the Earth Kingdom army. Shame. I am ashamed of my own heritage. The atrocities that my people, my family, my father and his father before him… the atrocities they committed in the name of honor and conquest. The, dear gods, genocide… and for what? Just so he could have the avatar? A whole century of it. One hundred years of disgraceful behavior labeled honorable and victorious. Glory. There is nothing honorable in slaughtering monks and children who cannot fight. There is no honor in razing villages of women and children simply because they are there. And I did not help. I stood on the shore of a decimated Water Tribe demanding the avatar. They had one young man, practically a boy with almost no skill to fight as their only protection. How can I ever apologize for a century of this? How can I ever make amends?_

Zuko hung his head with the shame as his stomach knotted.

Mu-Tan's words cut through painfully, "What are you ashamed of? What are your biggest disappointments in yourself?"

The swirling scent and the flickering firelight shifted the images in Zuko's mind.

_His anger at Ty-Min and then abandoning her at ManYee's. Abandonment. Knowing Faelin was right behind him and knowing he has not really been able to see her. She was no longer left to sleep in the storage/workroom of the red lantern house. He should have tried harder. Abandonment. He abandoned her before, on the shore. The flames grew and echoed the fires of the camp as he walked through it. The children were mostly cut down or burned. Dead. Or dying. Faelin was missing. It was his fault. He abandoned them on that shore. He broke his promise to see them to safety. The little girl clinging to his hand as she died. Her lock of hair was in his little pouch as a constant reminder of his shame. Faelin would not be a slave to that red lantern house, locked by a contract, if he had not abandoned them. _His stomach twisted and threatened to make him sick again. The candle flames shrank and the room grew dark._ How could he ever be trusted again? How could he dare think he could be there for her now? Or for Ty-min? Or anyone… _

Travahar knew he had to return downstairs. Mu-Tan was right. This was too personal. He should not have spied, but he could not look away from the living tapestries. Blue-green eyes turned his way. He glanced at Faelin feeling like he was being watched. Her frown of disapproval was plain. He winced and retreated back to the basement. I can now add this to my shames if I ever have to go through this series of rites, he thought. He wished he had not let his curiosity get the better of him.

Mu-Tan's slow voice was like a cool refreshing breeze, "These things happen. We must accept them and know that we cannot change them. You will never find balance if you let these things hold you back. Let them go and be released from these shames. Know that they happened and you will move on. What is done is done and cannot be undone. What you can do is to not repeat past mistakes."

Iroh sank quietly into a kneeling meditation pose.

Zuko fiddled with the small pouch to remove the lock of hair from it. He held it in his fist. "If I let it go, how will I remember to never repeat this mistake?"

"You are a man, who has learned much from the mistakes of your youth and the mistakes of your family. You are a prince of the Fire Nation. It is time to let go of the past and accept who you are. You are a responsible man, an honorable man, and one day will be a fine leader. Don't let past mistakes hold you back from this, from who you are inside," advised Mu-Tan.

Zuko frowned. The nausea was still there. As he opened his hand, he called up a flame to burn the bit of hair to ash. He took in a deep breath. As he exhaled he blew the ashes from his hand. He fisted his hand again and looked up at Mu-Tan.

Mu-Tan nodded proudly. "It only takes one to begin to turn the tides of the world. There is balance in all things, sun and moon, yin and yang. The pendulum of events cannot be held in place forever. We each have our part to play in the grand scheme of things. All we have to do is accept who we are and that we **can** affect change. Each action and decision will affect change."

Zuko nodded his acknowledgement of this knowing it will take some time for it to completely sink in. He felt lighter. Then felt light-headed. The room spun as the nausea hit full force again. _When did uncle arrive?_

Iroh was by his nephew's side instantly. He helped him up and Mu-Tan indicated for them to go upstairs till things here were cleaned up. The air was cool and unspiced up in the room. Iroh could not have been more surprised by the weight that had been so heavily on his nephew's shoulders. He knew there was shame and anguish from Ozai's demands, but this was more. This was personal. He found a cool damp cloth from the kitchen and retuned to soothe his beloved nephew.

"Will I be a good leader, you think? Will I ever be able to help our people? Uncle?" Zuko sounded so sad it nearly broke Iroh's heart.

Iroh smiled warmly at his nephew. "You always were. You just have not realized it. And as I said before, you will come out of the trials of your life and be the beautiful prince I have always known you to be. Your mother would be proud, Prince Zuko." Iroh thought about Mu-Tan's words, too. The avatar was needed more than ever. The message in the note from Mu-Tan about events in the Fire Nation were dire. After Faelin and Travahar left, after the dojo was cleared and returned to its original state, Iroh helped his nephew home to the Upper Ring and to bed to rest.


	53. Chapter 53: Iroh's Wisdom

_**Chapter 53: Iroh's Wisdom**_

After some cranky dawn training with his uncle in the main room of the new apartment, Zuko met up with Travahar at the dojo for early morning practice. Travahar was not used to being up that early. Zuko was rather more alert as he rises with the sun normally. The slightly pounding mallets in Zuko's head, though, did not lend to very good morning conversation. He wished that the tea his uncle gave him to make the pain go away would hurry up and do its work. It wasn't till the end of the morning meditation that Zuko finally felt more human. They nibbled some fruit and drank tea together with Ling and Mu-Tan and then continued the morning exercises.

As Mu-Tan promised, Travahar and Zuko had to take some time to study each other and write down their observations and insights. Then Mu-Tan asked them to share aloud what they noticed about the other. Both men were at first humiliated by this. Yet, they listed to the notes each had written carefully, their faces red with embarrassment.

Mu-Tan looked at each very seriously, "You must know each other as well if not better than you know yourselves. In a fight, a real fight, that could mean life or death. You are a team where each has its strengths and weaknesses. Travahar is solid and hard to move. When he gets hold of an opponent, he doesn't let go and can keep that opponent well pinned. However, he is slow and can thus eventually be worn down by a quicker more agile opponent. Zuko is lithe and fast, like fire, is always on the move. He is hard to catch and strikes sharp deadly blows. However, he tends to back out before the opponent is declared out of the fight. He also can't keep a bigger or stronger opponent down for long enough. He must rely on serious harm or exhausting his opponent first. Work with your strengths; fill in for your partners weaknesses. As a team, you could be invincible. This is a good alliance. Build on it. Now, let's see the moves we discussed last night. You will spar against me and Ling."

And so the morning progressed through new techniques and learning to fight together as opposed to against each other. The days to the competition were drawing near. They were given new uniforms, off-white in color. They were sleeveless, so that sleeves could not be caught and used against them. This made them unusual to other uniforms already. The dojo's banner logo was embroidered neatly on the back of each shirt. An actual silver ring hung from the mouth of the embroidered dragon, stitch flat so it was not loose and risky in a fight. Both Travahar and Zuko were surprised by this gift. The other students in the junior competition were using fresh regular dojo uniforms. Mu-Tan only insisted that they practice and perform with honor. They bowed deeply to him as they left for lunch.

-----

Meanwhile, Iroh sent a message to Avatar Aang. He hoped to meet with them, especially after the news he received from Mu-Tan recently. When they walked into the Jasmine Dragon with caution, except Toph who openly and warmly greeted Iroh, he led them to a more private room and settled in to have tea with them. Iroh bowed to them honorably. As they sat, Sokka scanned his surroundings warily in case Zuko came barreling out at them. "My nephew is out training for the Martial Arts competition. You need not be concerned," Iroh reassured them.

Katara tilted her head as she spoke, "Is he any closer to behaving human or friendly?"

Iroh answered her as honestly and sincerely as he could, "My nephew is going through a lot of changes and coming to terms with many things in his life. The training he is receiving is helping. He has always been human. Friendly? Depends on who you are." He grinned playfully at them before becomes serious again. "He needs to learn to be friendly with himself first. But he's getting there. He has really turned over a new leaf. Many things still hurt inside him, and wounded people and animals tend to be less trusting and less friendly. Once they realize you are there to help, they come around."

Aang piped up hopefully, "So, he's given up hunting me?"

Sokka snorted, "Ya right, like a tiger-lion ever loses its stripes."

Iroh explained, "He is realizing that his father is… wrong about a great many things. But the hardest realization is that his father has completely rejected him. That is both painful and difficult to accept, especially after losing his mother."

Sokka looked down sheepishly. He could not understand how a father could reject a son. His father loved him and Katara so much. _What cruelty to be just rejected. No wonder Zuko was so mean._ Katara, too, understood. Both of them had lost their mother as well.

Toph broke in with her coarse realism and brought them all back to the reason they sat for tea together. "So, why were we dragged from bed for tea? Life goes on guys… get over it. We have a war to deal with. I hope this early morning has a reason." Aang chuckled. Toph was always blunt and to the point despite the graces he knew she had as she grew up as a noble.

Iroh brought out the letter from Mu-Tan regarding the comet's coming and that the Fire Nation intends to use its power to defeat the Earth Kingdom. "It has come to my attention that Sozen's comet is returning at the end of this coming summer. I am sure you already know this. You seem to have been rushing about trying to unite the people against the Fire Nation and at the same time try to learn the various forms of bending. I wish I had known long ago… But the past is the past. I am here now to do what I can. But… I do not want to leave my nephew."

Toph smiled, remembering the day she had had tea with this kind and gentle tea loving man months and months ago. "As I said before, he is very lucky to have someone like you there for him. However, we do need to start taking action."

Sokka practically spat with annoyance, "And the dumb Earth King is wasting so much time!"

Iroh raised his hand, "Easy. I am sure he has a reliable war counsel. Are you, Avatar, ready yet?"

Katara interjected as Aaang suddenly felt unsure of himself. "He knew airbending when we found him. And he has masters water," she announced proudly.

Aang piped up then, "And Earth."

Toph shot him down, "Hardly! You still have a lot to learn, Twinkletoes." Aang's shoulders sagged.

Katara spoke softly to Aang, "And you have yet to learn firebending."

"NO!" snapped Aang sharply. "I will never bend fire again. I told you! NEVER!"

There was an uncomfortable silence while Iroh sipped his tea absorbing everything he could observe from this team of young people before him. Young. They were so young with no guidance or adult to help them along. _Children… thrust out in the middle of a war… forced to grow up far too soon and still not yet comfortable with who they were as people, yet expected to be heroes of the world already. What a heavy burden the avatar had to carry at the tender age of thirteen._ Gently, Iroh advised, "You are the avatar. You need all four elements for balance…"

Sokka cut in, "And you need to get control of that scary avatar state, too."

Aang wanted to sink beneath the table and run away. Katara put an arm around Aang's shoulders comfortingly. He had so much to learn. Katara spoke reassuringly, "He's almost mastered earthbending. He just needs more practice."

"We are running out of time, especially with the eclipse." Sokka was wildly gesturing out the window to the sky.

Iroh looked up from his tea. "Eclipse?"

Sokka explained, "YA! The sun will be blotted out by the moon near midsummer. The Fire Nation will be helpless. But we are RUNNING OUT OF TIME! We need to be ready to strike THEN!" The idea guy was showing his eagerness as well as his concern. As eldest, he wanted to be sure everyone was doing what they should, and that they were at the same time safe. He almost choked down his tea when he realized he blurted out about the eclipse to a Fire Nation general and Dragon of the West. He was surprised by Iroh's concern and support. _Had Iroh truly defected? Had anyone informed Zuko?_ That thought gave Sokka a quiet twisted and contented feeling of vindication.

This eclipse was new information for Iroh. They sipped tea and discussed the details. Aang remained somber. He knew he had yet to master firebending and the avatar state. Yet, he also adamantly refused to do any more firebending.

Iroh smiled broadly at them. "If you need anything, I can be found here. And when you are ready, Avatar Aang, I would be honored to teach you firebending. All things in time. Relax today and enjoy the tea. I am sure things will come together soon."

Toph inquired curiously, "And what of your nephew?"

Iroh sat back with his tea thinking on Zuko with love and pride. "Give him time."

Sokka muttered under his breath, "like eternity…"

Iroh laughed. "All men change as they grow and learn. Even you, young wolf. Pups are all playful when they are young. But, as they grow and learn, they take on more responsibility and become great warriors and protectors of their tribes and families. They remember to play, but they still changed. In the Fire Nation there is a very old legend that it was the wolf that first taught man how to protect and care for a family. Pups grow and change to wolves, boys to men."

Katara smiled to herself at how well Iroh boosted Sokka's pride and reminded him of their heritage as Southern Water Tribe, Tribe of the Wolf. With luck, Zuko will grow to be fine warrior and learn some of Iroh's wisdom, gentleness, and love. Fire need not always burn hot and out of control. Sometimes, it can burn low, giving warmth. Light, and comfort, too.

They left with much to think about. They also hoped to meet with the Earth King again to push for action before the eclipse.

Iroh pondered the other note from Mu-Tan. These youths did not look or sound like they had guidance, but there was mention from Mu-Tan that someone was found to help the avatar train and achieve control over the avatar state. Maybe it was just a rumor or Mu-Tan managed to spy news that has yet to reach the avatar.


	54. Chapter 54: Fei & Lan Gossip

_Author's Note:_

_This chapter was co-written with Robyn Stroll (Coyote)_

_**Chapter 54: Fei & Lan Gossip**_

Sun Fei knocked on Hwa Lan's door at the university residences, in hopes of finding her friend. Lan had not come to dance practice in a couple of days, and Fei was worried.

After a few moments, Hwa Lan opened the door and smiled to see Sun Fei there. "Oh, hello! Do come in. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, except that I've been worried… no one has seen you around in a couple of days and…" how could Sun Fei explain her concerns without revealing that Lee was really Prince Zuko?

Hwa Lan interrupted her thoughts. "I'm alright. I've just been taking the past couple days off to recover. I had a very bad sparring match with Lee, and I've had a lot to think about."

Sun Fei's eyes widened with worry. "With Lee?! Are you alright? What was your teacher thinking?" _What if Zuko had lost control and burned her?!_

Hwa Lan chuckled as she sat down in a chair. "I think Sifu Mu-Tan was trying to teach me a lesson for having boasted in class, and so pitted me against his best to keep my ego from getting too inflated. It was a very painful lesson, but I will recover." She was amazed at how easily the lie came, and felt immediately ashamed for not speaking the truth with her closest friend.

Sun Fei sat down uneasily and let out a slow breath. "I'm glad you're alright. He has… quite the temper."

"Yes, but Travahar was there… he kept things from getting too out of hand." She paused. "Can you keep a secret?"

Sun Fei nodded, "Of course."

Hwa Lan bit her lower lip in glee. "He asked me to marry him."

Sun Fei's jaw dropped. "What? He did?! What did you say? Lan! How could you have kept this quiet?!" She got up again and nearly tackled Hwa Lan in her excitement.

Hwa Lan grinned as Sun Fei hugged her, returning the embrace. "I've been dying to tell someone. I haven't given him an answer but…"

"Lan, please don't tell me that after all your pining over him that you would dare to say no!"

Hwa Lan shook her head. "I didn't answer him. There was too much going on all at once, and I wanted to… to think with a clearer head. We both know that my family is… we're not exactly the highest born, and it will create quite a scandal once word gets out."

Sun Fei giggled, "As if you ever backed away from a scandal in your life."

Hwa Lan snickered. "This time is different, okay? For now this is just between us."

"Of course. But I'm coming to the wedding no matter what," Sun Fei insisted.

Hwa Lan bowed deeply to Sun Fei from where she sat, taking on very serious tones. "Of that there is no doubt. Will you stand as my most honored maid?"

Sun Fei bowed deeply in return. "I would be honored." And then both girls collapsed into giggles. "I can't wait to help you shop for what you'll need for the wedding. There is so much to plan!"

_More then you know_, Hwa Lan thought. _This will be a royal wedding_….but she wasn't ready to tell Sun Fei _that_ secret yet.

"I suppose Travahar will ask Lee to be his best man?" Sun Fei asked suddenly.

Hwa Lan gnawed her lip. "Oh Fei… I don't know, but… I'm afraid that I've news, on that front... he is… involved with someone else." _Among other things. Other very dangerous things._

Sun Fei almost smiled. "It's alright. I don't think he and I could ever really be more then friends anyhow. We're too different."

Hwa Lan caught something in Fei's tone, and looked at her quickly. The two sat in silence for a moment.

"Do you know?" They both began the question at once, and laughed. "Yes, I…"

Sun Fei blurted, "How did you find out?" relieved that she wasn't alone in keeping Zuko's secret.

Hwa Lan explained rather frankly, "He all but spelled it out for me himself… He asked how I knew his name was Huo Long. And I put the pieces together from there."

"I found out when we were doing research together at the library and he over reacted to news of what his family had done in the past. I take it that Travahar knows too?" asked Sun Fei and Hwa Lan nodded that yes, he did.

There was another long moment of silence as both girls sorted out their thoughts.

Hwa Lan took Sun Fei's hand, worry filling her eyes. "They can't keep this a secret forever. I mean, looking back I wonder how we could have overlooked all the hints that were there all along. His scar alone…"

Sun Fei picked up the conversation, "What he must have suffered, when his father attacked him… or when he was exiled…"

Hwa Lan spoke with conviction, "We have to help them keep this as quiet as possible for now."

Sun Fei nodded gravely. "Of course. Another thing we will keep just to ourselves for now." She sighed. "All these secrets… they can't be good for the soul…"

"Don't worry, Fei, everything will be alright. We just need to have faith. Come, let's go get some tea. I feel like I've been cooped up forever, and I could use the air." She stood and turned with the grace of a dancer, not as smooth as Sun Fei, but still.

Sun Fei chuckled. "Let's hope no more trouble finds us on the way there. Ba Sing Se has so many walls and so many secrets and twists… one has to wonder how many more plots are going on all around us that we don't know about."

Hwa Lan rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Fei. Come on." But as the two headed out to the teahouse, Hwa Lan couldn't help but wonder what more _was_ going on, and whether Travahar was in more danger then even he had let on.


	55. Chapter 55: Planning to Split

_**Chapter 55: Planning to Split**_

In a long awaited meeting with the Earth King, Sokka surprised the small group of friends with remarkable maturity. Every now and then, he stops playing around, stops being silly, drops his sarcasm, and they see a brilliant warrior full of strategy and courage and intelligence. Katara had to whisper in her mind, _was that my brother? MY brother? He sounds like Dad._

Sokka stepped forward. Appealing to the Earth king as he explained the coming of the comet. "But there is hope. Before the comet comes, we have a window of opportunity. A solar eclipse is coming. The sun will be entirely blocked out by the moon, and the firebenders will be helpless. That's the day we need to invade the Fire Nation. The Day of Black Sun."

The Earth King was hesitant. He could hardly believe how foolish he was to not realize there was a war going on. First the betrayals within his own walls and now this. How could he have been so blind? What was he to do? "I don't know…. That would require moving troops out of Ba Sing Se. We'd be completely vulnerable."

Sokka's serious speech struck home. "You're _already_ vulnerable. The Fire Nation won't stop until Ba Sing Se falls. You can either sit back and wait for that to happen, or take the offensive, and give yourself a fighting chance."

Katara was never more proud of her brother, nor more amazed, especially when the Earth King agreed to support this invasion. Her brother… the Idea Guy. She smiled.

An older general walked into the court. He looked briefly at the youths noting that he would discuss this with the other generals from the Counsel of Five and the Silver Circle later. "I apologize for the interruption, your majesty, but we have finished the search through Long Feng's affairs. We searched all his rooms and his office here at the palace. We found something that I think will interest everybody." A guardsman that was following the general stood with a large jeweled trunk. "There are secret files on everyone in Ba Sing Se. Including you kids," he said looking over at the avatar and his friends. "And these letters were found locked among them. He was hiding them for some reason, though I know not what… yet." He brought out a handful of letters and scrolls. Several he handed to the king. "Long Feng has been intercepting mail and messages. This one is for Toph Bei Fong, a letter from her home, from her mother." He handed her the small scroll and she took it awkwardly. "And this is some note for Aang." He handed a crumpled and rolled parchment tied with string to Aang.

Aang looked at it gingerly. "It's from the Eastern Air Temple!"

Katara stepped forward hesitantly, hopefully. "Is there a letter for me and Sokka by chance?"

The general looked again through the letters. "No, no letters for you specifically." Katara and Sokka looked down sadly, their shoulders sagging. The general could imagine that they were lonesome for news from home or family. "I don't know if this is of any use, but there was an intelligence report that might interest you." He handed a folded report over. The seal was broken on it already.

Katara read it. "A small fleet of Water Tribe ships? Protecting the mouth of Chameleon Bay… led by… Hakoda. IT IS DAD!" Her and Sokka beamed at each other. Relief in their eyes that their father was still alive and well.

An hour later, Aang and his friends sat in a private office given to them to discuss and plan on their own and to give them some time with the news they just received. The general insisted on it, even if the king did not wholly understand. The generals sat in a different ante-chamber bringing the king up to speed with the reality of the war beyond the walls.

Aang paced and skipped about the room unable to sit still as he waved the parchment in his hand. "I can't believe it! There is a man living at the Eastern Air Temple. He says he's a guru." Momo leans over Aang's shoulder pawing at the parchment.

Sokka wrinkled his nose. "What is a g-u-r-u? Some kind of poisonous blowfish?" He scratched at the back of his head, not that it helped stir further insight into the strange word.

Eagerly, Aang explained, "No. A spiritual expert. He wants to help me take the next step in the Avatar journey. He says he can teach me to control the Avatar State."

Katara stood still hugging the news report to her chest, "And I can't believe we know where our Dad is now."

Having listened to Katara read her mother's letter to her; Toph had time to think about it. "I know what you mean. My mom's in the city, and from her letter, it sounds like she finally understands me."

Sokka almost bounced in his seat. "This is all such big news. Where do we even start?"

Katara frowned, "I hate to say it, but… we have to split up."

Aang protested, "Split up? We just found Appa and got the family back together. Now you want us to separate?"

"You have to meet this Guru, Aang. If we're gonna invade the Fire Nation, you need to be ready," Katara said firmly.

Grinning broadly, Aang suggested, "Well, if I'm going to the Eastern Air Temple. Appa and I can drop you at Chameleon Bay to see your Dad.

Sokka became serious again, "Someone has to stay here with the Earth King and help him plan for the invasion. I guess that's me." He rose to his feet with a glum expression.

Katara turned to him. She knew he missed their dad, how desperately he needed to validate himself as a warrior in their father's eyes. "No Sokka, I know how badly you want to help Dad. You go to Chameleon Bay. I'll stay here with the king." It hurt to say it, but she was closer to their mother while he was closer to their father. She could do more good here ensuring the Earth King was safe and that the planning went forward.

Tears welled up in Sokka's eyes. He stepped from one foot to the other. "You are… the nicest… bestest… sister EVER!" He does a silly little dance and throws his arms around her in a big big-brother hug and kisses her cheek.

"Easy there big brother," Katara said awkwardly as she gently pushed her brother away. But then, she could not help smiling, "Though, you are right, I am."

They decided they would tomorrow after they visit Iroh again to let him know the news. Maybe he can help Katara.


	56. Chapter 56:Dangerous Exposure

_**Chapter 56: Dangerous Exposure**_

A figure in black, dropped several large coins from his gloved hand into the servant's eager palm. The servant then vacated the usually unused wing of the estate. The dark figure strode wide easy steps down the abandoned corridor. There was no need to be concerned for discovery. _No one ever really comes here. Also, the "Green Dragon", how very bloody presumptuous of the young man to call himself such a name, the "Green Dragon" was out very early this morning for training in the embarrassing Lower District dojo._ He stopped at the door the servant had indicated the other day. At first testing, he found it locked with no locking or unlocking mechanism on the outside. How very interesting…. He removed some tools he paid much for from a Fire Nation contact last year. With some jiggling and sliding of his tools at the doorframe, the lock clicked open. Satisfied, he opened the door.

The floor mats were in a small martial arts practice area. The room was very clean with sunlight streaming in through the many bay windows, dappling the floor through the plants. He scanned the room to ensure it was clear, his dagger in one hand. Carefully, he closed the door behind him and opened one of the windows. He looked down out the window. There below was an overgrown and neglected garden in the west and back of the estate. Shame this family never held parties here, it would be beautiful if it had been tended. Just the same, it would give him cover for an escape in case the young noble came home early.

He sifted through the piles of papers and journals on the sitting desk, raising an eyebrow at the seals on some of them. This will be interesting information. He thought of taking them all with him, but the notion of leaving them here to be discovered by the Dai Li was too pleasing. It would mean the fall of this family in short order. _Why was this noble so interested in the history of the city and its structures? Was he seeking the truth about Lake Laogai? OH! Mu-Tan's resignation letter. Wonder where that old dragon has gotten too these days, _he mused. _And notes upon notes of historical accounts about Sozen's Comet. That is a different handwriting. So, he has help. That is interesting too. _When he came across the writs of Long Feng's arrest, he tucked them into the inside of his vest. "Little noble," he chided, "You really do not need those." He searched for the seal he was sure must be here. Something. Anything… anything at all to prove his theory. He shoved the scrolls about temples aside and started turning over books and bundles of notes in frustration. _It has to be here._

Then he stopped. He looked back at the neat mats on the floor in the open space. "Sly noble." He walked over and stamped a foot. A small series of rumbles waved through a few tiles under the mats. "Ahhhh… so you do have hollow tiles under there. How foolish of you. Almost everyone does and uses them." He stamped a foot again to earthbend a couple tiles up slightly. He stepped off the mats and tossed them back to reveal the opened cubbies from the loose and shifted tiles. They were all empty. He snarled and smashed his fist through one tilted tile.

The door started to open and he snapped his head up. "Trav? Travahar?" came a young woman's voice from the slightly open door. The figure dashed to the window and dropped to the ground cursing quietly. He let the thick foliage swallow his presence. Then cursed himself more for not staying long enough to find out who this bold woman was to enter what was supposed to be strictly off limits to all.

-----

Hwa Lan peeks in. "Travahar? Are you here?" The door creaked open having not been securely closed, which is odd considering how carefully Travahar closed it before. She looks around. "Travahar?" _Hm..._ she thinks to herself. _This seems odd._ She steps inside and takes a closer look, wary that maybe someone else might be in here. No one was. A bay window swung slightly open, the papers were a scattered mess and the tatami mat he meditates on was pulled up revealing different tiles from the rest of the floor. Some of the tiles were lifted and one was cracked.

She frowned. This is clearly not a good sign. She went over to the papers to see if any of the ones she remembered from her last visit were missing. The writs about Long Feng and his arrest were gone. Was it someone in his employ then that had been there? What was really going on with Long Feng and the Dai Li? She will have to ask Travahar when she met up with him. She debated cleaning this mess up or waiting here with everything like this. Travahar needed to know someone got in here. Her keen sight caught something tucked under a plant in the back behind the sitting table. It was a journal, Travahar's note journal, with the household crest upon it. It had several folded pages and loose sheets and tabs sticking out. It must have been missed by the intruder. _Hmm…_ She put that back where it was, but will make sure to point out to him that it's not a good enough hiding spot. _He's lucky it wasn't taken._

She moved to inspect the tiles next. Several were lifted and tilted, one cracked and a few solid in place. The cracked one was beside an uncracked one. She could see a hole on the side of the cubby leading into a cubby under the uncracked one. As she put her hand against it, she could feel a soft draft. There was space under the other tile. _Is there a tunnel here? Some sort of secret passage? Maybe that's how whoever it was got in... but then why leave the door unlocked?_ Some pieces of this puzzle were missing. She lifted the broken tile, to see for herself. As her hand explored the side hole, she could feel metal clasps of a lock holding the untouched tile in place. They were locks on the inside of the cubby. That made no sense. _How does one get it? How does one lock and unlock it?_ She frowned as her memory rose of when Travahar pressed his hand against the door and it locked mysteriously. _Noooooo… Impossible._ There was definitely a gap, she could feel the lock with her fingers and unlocked it. Curiosity spurred her to explore. She could not lift the stone tile. It must be locks on all four sides. She squeezed her hand inside the cubby instead. _What was this guy after? What was Travahar hiding? What was so important?_ There was a metal box inside that she can feel, with a crest on top. _Hm. How did the intruder know it was here?_ She'll have to ask Travahar about this, too. It was beginning to feel like an inside job. Someone who knew this cubby existed, but obviously not well enough to locate it. _All this must have made some noise. Why didn't the servants notice? Oh yeah, this was the unused wing. Travahar needs to be more careful and think things through better or hire more reliable staff._ While thinking, she ran her fingers over the crest. Eyes growing wide as what she felt was clear from an image she saw in last week's history class with Sun Fei. It was the royal crest of a dragon coiled around a blade that was embedded in the top of a rock or mountain. The royal house. So she knew it was true. _He was royalty. Not just any royalty, but the rightful High King of the Earth Nation._ She paced the room, thinking. _Who could have done this? And why? Who might suspect who Travahar really was? Who are his enemies?_

Then the rest of the history lesson came back to her and she slapped her hand over her face. Leu Long is an old old old name for the royal house, mostly forgotten and no longer used. She tapped a finger against her lips. _Would that be the title he's working toward? That would certainly explain a lot of this. Not just King of Ba Sing Se, but King of the entire nation? Such ambition... And it would certainly get someone's attention that he's been doing all this research._ It was mostly part of just legend, which was why she thought it would be an interesting name to give to Travahar. "Well! Call me psychic!" After a moment she slapped her brow again. "Call me STUPID!" If any of the nobles had a particular interest in ancient history, she just pegged him for assassination for them. And now someone wanted to confirm things. _CRAP!_ And it was her fault. "I'll make it right. I'll fix it." She frowned.

So whatever Travahar's plans are, from those notes and whatever he has learned, it must be presumed that the enemy knows it too. Long Feng's letters being gone worried her. That meant the Dai Li were involved. If ancient history and legend was true, he who holds the true crest can claim lineage and right to rulership. So possession of that metal box was the key. Pages of the ancient book on the logs of the old city were all torn out, too. Also not good. Vital information is gone.

Sun Fei's crumpled letter to Travahar was uncrumpled, having been read. _Sun Fei? What? _This she had to read. Sun Fei tore many hideous strips from Travahar with her words for using her and putting her in danger and messing with "Lee." Lee was in quotes indicating that Sun Fei knew that Lee was not Lee at all. She blinked. "Never knew Fei had such a venomous streak..." _And thankfully Fei had not signed the letter. At least the intruder would not know who had helped Travahar gather these notes._

She put the letter down and looked the rest over. Those scrolls with the seals? Someone was focusing on the older secrets and only made a mess of the scrolls. That's one less thing. However, possession of those scrolls would be big trouble for him. She spotted a bunch of notes and legal letters about the temples of Ba Sing Se and their closures. _What did that have to do with anything? Huh. That was a very good question. What DID that have to do with anything?_ The registers of the personnel on the wall of the 600 day siege and the resignation of Mu-Tan were still there. She needed to talk to Travahar to understand how some of this is connected. Mu-Tan's resignation letter was signed "Mu-Tan, Dragon of the East, Silver Circle of Sakitsuoya Temple (Temple of Ancestors), Silver Circle Guardian of Pristess Zenshin." _Protectors of temples... which maybe creates the link to all those temples being closed? What happened?_

She decided to wait for Travahar. She started reading through the notes and organizing them into categories. She was learning more than she wanted to know about the intrigues going on in Ba Sing Se. Oh how she felt like she had been so blind for so long and only just opened her eyes. She wrinkled her nose. Travahar writes as badly as her father. She sighed and shook her head. Sun Fei's notes were mixed with someone else's... _Zuko's notes maybe… _with much of Travahar's notations. They were about the comet and what had happened when it had come. Circled was the date when it is expected to return… end of THIS summer!

_Alright. So, all of this adds up to a civil war here, as well as a war to take on the Fire Lord. Too much all at once. Fun,_ she thought sarcastically. _Only fun for a masochist. No wonder poor Travahar has seemed so stressed. So… was he planning a coup then? A coup could look good or ruin his reputation depending on when and how he does it. And at the moment, he doesn't have much of a reputation except as a Lady's Man. Then we need to improve his reputation,_ she thought resolutely. _Winning this tournament coming up would be cute, but is not enough to make him into King of an entire nation._

While deep in thought the door clicked. The latch clicked into the locked position all by itself. Then unlocked and relocked. There was no way to do this from the outside. She knew this. She cursed that she had not locked it when she came in. Locked. It was locked… on its own with her inside. She rose and headed over to the door slowly. Why would someone go through locking and unlocking it, even without picks or even the possibility of a key… unless they were checking it? The door unlocked again and opened a crack where the person there could just see the tatami mats but not Hwa Lan. She remained tense and still in a fighting stance. The door slammed shut and locked again into a new latched position. _What on earth?! This isn't good. _She moved toward the door quietly, to try to listen to determine if there is someone out there in the hall. She tried the lock but it did not budge. The tiles slid on their own into their places again. _Earthbending._ She felt panic begin to rise in her. She was locked in and an earthbender was moving things in the room. What if the intruder was back and knew she was there and had decided to kill her? _NO!_ She pressed herself against the door. A creaking noise and the metal bands from the sides of the bay windows bent into javelins all pointing in various direction to insure they impaled anyone in the room without fail once released... ready to nail anyone inside to the floor. Her breath came short. She was torn between pounding at the door to beg to be let out and staying silent. Whoever this is, they're very powerful. _Metalbending._ No known earthbenders for generations were ever powerful enough to metalbend. Her breath came in sharp gasps as the feeling of being sealed in closed in on her. The silence outside did not help her sense of panic and she gave in to pounding hysterically on the door. Better to be captured, maybe, then to be skewered alive. She yelled and screamed. Gasping for air in her claustrophobic panic, her shouts came more like whimpers. She sank to the floor in terror.

-----

Nothing moved. Nothing happened. The silence stretched on. Hwa Lan still did not know if she were going to die. Who was there? Who was bending? Was anyone outside? Could anyone hear her? She pounded again on the door, begging to be let out. Silence. She looked over her shoulder at the metal spikes from the window frames. Some pointed right at her. She buried her face in her arms against the wall near the door.

The lock on the door clicked.

Again she pounded hard and desperate on the door, screaming.

On the other side, Travahar braced himself against the frame. Sweat trickling down his back and chest. An intruder was in the room. They had overturned the tiles. _Did they find it?_ He was ready to kill. Someone was still inside. He pressed his ear to the door. The intruder had pounded on the door. _That was strange._ Then the sweat turned to ice. The voice on the other side was Hwa Lan's. _DEAR GODS! _Had he hurt her? Had he already released the metal spikes? His mind raced. He was so busy he didn't know where he had stopped in the offensive moves to protect what was in that room. _DEAR GODS! Hwa Lan…_

It took him a few moments, long moments to get his breath and listen. He silently begged her to pound on the door again. If he killed her, he didn't want to open the door. It was so quiet. He had just found a woman who could match him and was not afraid to put him in his place, a woman who didn't care so much what his station was. A woman who just plain cared. He leaned his brow against the door. He prayed that the very first person he killed in his life was NOT her.

The pounding on the door recommenced. The screams were definitely Hwa Lan's. He pressed his hand to the lock and breathed. It clicked twice, unlocked. He carefully opened the door and stepped in. She threw herself into his arms the moment he kneeled down to her. _Thank you gods and ancestors… thank you._ He promised to make them an offering at the private family shrine once he sorted things here out. He surveyed the room from his position holding Hwa Lan. This was not her doing. Someone who could bend was here. And recently.

"Lan?" He pushed her to arm's length. "Are you alright?" He looked her over to see if she was hurt.

Shakily, she nodded. "Yes, I… I think so. I was so frightened Trav!"

"It's ok. I am here now." He was about to say more but she recovered most of her poise and blurted out what she discovered here when she came in.

"You HAVE to do this somewhere SAFER!" she yelled at him. And proceeded to yell more about how unsafe it was for him to leave this room unprotected with everything out in the open. How foolish he was to even have kept some of those documents this long. And that some were stolen already. He could hardly get in a word. He was stunned when she then slapped him soundly. "How dare you."

"What did I do?!?" He sputtered defensively.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" He was stunned still by her anger, but saw it was still simply laced with fear and she buried her face in his shoulder again.

He sighed and held her. After a bit they gathered everything, including his journal and the box under the tile. _Time to move somewhere else. Time to fire the servants and start again._ With everything carefully bundled they walked through the halls. As they passed the family Pai Sho game, Travahar removed the white lotus tile from the board and pocketed it. Mu-tan could hide this stuff and provide a secure room to work in. He should have done that earlier. How much danger was he putting Hwa Lan in? How many pieces of the puzzles did his unknown enemies have? Were Sun Fei or Hwa Lan in danger? What about Faelin or Zuko? What does the enemy know? Who was the enemy? It could be anyone. And anyone close to him could die for simply being close to him. But he needed help. He could not do this alone. Maybe this would be a good time for some of them to distance themselves. Maybe not. Someone might die. Were they ready for that risk?

A figure stood in a nook, dressed in black watching Travahar leave the estate with a woman. Not just any woman, but he left with the woman that was kissing him on the balcony. _Interesting._ The figure slipped away with his news.


	57. Chapter 57: Zuko's Realizations

_**Chapter 57: Zuko's Realizations**_

Zuko was a mix of exhilarated and exhausted after the morning practice. The challenge thrilled him, made his blood sing. It also gave him much to think about. He wanted to really go over this in his mind; however…

"NEPHEW!" cried Iroh. "There is so much to do! And so much I need to talk to you about! How did your practice go? Are you ready for the competition? I am going to be there…"

Zuko sighed, rolled his eyes and wished he had gone deaf before hearing the singsong in his uncle's tone. It always meant trouble… usually for him. His uncle dragged him into the Jasmine Dragon and into the back where the orders made earlier in the week were arriving and needed sorting. Zuko moaned. So much for lunch, a bath, and meditation. Truly though, he secretly did not mind. This made his uncle happy, content and proud. A tiny bit of peace and joy with the moment, since all that was around them was treachery and war. One thing at a time… right now, that thing was to put away many many pounds of herbs and spices and teas and jars and spare cups. Everything else will have to wait a little bit.

As the hours passed, Zuko was able to work the menial tasks of restocking and let his mind wander a bit. This morning was all about getting to know your opponent and your partner. Mu-Tan was talking not just about the competition, but about life. Travahar and himself were forging an alliance, which one day, if they ever reach their larger goals, could be a lasting peace between two nations. They had to first learn about each other. They had to be able to analyze their enemies, recognize them and deal with them. They had to learn to work together. The problem was, he and Travahar still had lots of issues between each other that made them slightly distrustful and very competitive. They each had secrets they hid from the other. How was this ever going to work in real life, let alone in the coming competition? Zuko groaned again. The competition was only a few days away.

Zuko finally got his bath late in the afternoon. While his uncle made tea for the clients in the main Tea Room, he took the quiet escape to eat something and relax, even grab a little nap. That alone felt like a luxury! Especially since these night chakra rituals were exhausting. He hardly had time to digest everything that went on from one to the next.

Napping though didn't exactly happen. That was still ok. His body rested while his mind played catch-up on the week's rituals. He gave up trying to nap and just sat on his bed mat cross-legged.

_The root chakra is associated with earth. It is located below me where my butt touched the ground. It is associated with black, brown and deep reds. It is associated with thick macha green tea and with patchouli and oakmoss. Its energy in me is survival. It can be blocked by fear. I fear Ozai and Azula. NO! I am not. I am NOT afraid. They have no power over me. I've always had to struggle and fight and that has made me strong. It has made me who I am. Mother said so, said that I am someone who keeps fighting, even though it is hard. I am a survivor. I AM A SURVIVOR!_

Zuko took a deep breath and felt strength well up from deep in the earth to touch him. It surprised him a little as he suddenly realized he can work with his chakras on his own once he knew them. That spurred him to continue.

_Next is the sex chakra. Or was it the navel? Whatever, it is everything between those two points. It is associated with water. So it is emotional passions, energy, inner drive, and pleasure. These are the color orange. They are associated with orris, clove and chai tea. Pleasures… blocked by guilt. I have spent a long time burdened by so much guilt over the things I have abandoned and things I thought were my fault. The past cannot be undone. I can only accept that they happened and move forward. Forgive at least myself and not make those mistakes again. I will NEVER abandon anyone again._

The rain began to fall outside and reminded him of the storm and time he had spent with Faelin. The energy stirred and his corresponding muscles tensed. The chakra of pleasure… he blushed and let go of the thoughts as he breathed and pulled that energy from the root up through to his navel.

_Next is the stomach or solar plexus chakra, a sun chakra and the source of fire for a firebender. Uncle always chastised me to bend fire from my stomach and not my muscles. This chakra is associated with fire. It's other associations are yellow and gold, as wall as ginger and cinnamon and wasabe and fire liquor. Alcohol and firebenders don't mix well. I have seen men drunk who have become brutal and out of control. This is more so with firebenders. Me… I ended up sick to my stomach. Alcohol and firebenders is BAD! This chakra holds the energy of inner strength and willpower. It is blocked by shame. My shame is in my family and all that they have done over the course of one hundred years. There is no honor in this war. How can I protect the people I care about? How can I bring an end to this war? How can I restore honor to my people, the Fire Nation? My family's mistakes are not my own. I have to remember that. And I CAN make a difference. I can help change the fate of the world… in my own way. Uncle says I am a good leader. I hope it is enough._

He took another deep breath and felt the energy fill him from the navel to the solar plexus. He felt the rise of fire in him as he did whenever he was about to firebend. He held it in control. He breathed again and slowly released the energy chakra by chakra with each breath.

He was glad he had no time now to chat with his uncle. He hurried out to his evening training class at the dojo. He was soaked by the time he got there. Once changed, he found he was early enough to help with one of the younger groups. Mu-Tan and Ling appreciated the extra assistance. Inwardly, Zuko enjoyed working with the kids. He had a light dinner with Mu-Tan and then engaged in his own evening class. At least the rain stopped sometime during the class.

After class, Zuko took a small walk to clear his head and get fresh air. Soon enough he would have to set up for the next chakra rite. The private class with Travahar was cancelled due to Mu-Tan and Ling needing to be at a meeting or on some kind of errand. So there wasn't much else to do but meditate, practice and take a walk. He walked to the Fountain of Lights. Along the way he lost himself in thought… thoughts about Faelin. Every time he saw her now it was in the rites. She never spoke. He had time only once to hold her. He wanted to tell her so very much. He wanted to have just a little time with her and hear about how she was. She looked like she was fairly well, though something haunted her. Something… Was she having nightmares again? He wished he could be there to chase them away. Unfortunately, they moved her and there were just too many guards and lighting and people in general inside that damnable red lantern house. He could never get in now.

As he turned the corner to the open area of the Fountain of Lights, he froze. He could not believe his eyes. Travahar was there. _With his arm… around… Faelin!_ Travahar helped Faelin to sit on the edge of the Fountain's pool. _How dare Travahar… And Faelin?! _Zuko fisted his hands. Faelin's eyes widened. Travahar turned to see. Zuko yelled and rushed in. Travahar stood to block. Zuko's fist crashed down. Travahar fell to the floor. The two rolled and struggled and snarled and fought in the puddles. Fire lit in Zuko's eyes and the lantern flames flared.

"STOP!!!" Yelled Travahar defensively. "It's not what you think!"

"Then what is it!?" snarled Zuko having thoroughly pinned Travahar. Zuko raised his eyes to Faelin, angry and hurt and betrayed, almost teary for it all. "TELL ME!!!" he yelled at her while still holding Travahar.

Travahar snapped back at Zuko, "She can't!"

"The hell she…" Zuko began.

"SHE CAN'T!" Travahar cut back. "They SILENCED HER!"

Zuko fell back shocked. "They what?" Memories of the silenced slaves in the Fire Nation whose tongues were either pierced or cut came to him mind. It was a practice his mother felt was abhorrent. "They…" Zuko looked up at Faelin, the fight suddenly blowing away on the breeze to dissipate like a wisp of smoke.

Faelin knelt between the two young men with a hand on each of their shoulders.

Travahar gently pushed her had off his shoulder and stood back away from them. "She was caught somehow after the Solstice and they pierced her tongue. I provided an old woman in the house with medications from my doctor to heal her as best as possible."

Zuko just blinked. He could not believe this.

Travahar continued as Faelin buried her face in her hands and wept quietly. "I have arranged to pay a sizable sum to claim her as my exclusive consort to engage my fantasies with at the dojo so she can be there for you." He sat on the stone ledge near the Fountain.

Zuko wrapped his arms around Faelin, horrified that this had happened to her and he had not known… had not been there to protect her… And yet, she was still there at the rites, thanks to Travahar. He held her weeping on his shoulder, a lump large in his throat where he dared not speak.

"You can't stay here. They may be watching. I don't want them to suspect. We'll see you at the dojo soon." Travahar spoke gently. He could recognize the pain Zuko felt. He himself felt it just earlier that day over Hwa Lan. Worse for Zuko, he never gets to see Faelin, while Travahar can see Hwa Lan whenever he wished. "Go on."

Zuko stood with Faelin still held close to his chest. She pushed away. He stole a brief kiss and with enormous control wrenched himself away and dashed off back to the dojo. _Silenced. No wonder she never spoke at the rites. She couldn't._ She was now risking her life for him. Every time she came for the rites… she risked it. Now that the rites were started they had to be finished. Part of him wished he never began. Part of him wished it was already over.

As soon as he could find a way… he vowed he would kill the man who did this.


	58. Chapter 58: Zuko's Heart Chakra Trial

_Author's Notes:_

_Thank you so very much for the reviews. It is very encouraging! Some of you have wondered if this is an already finished novel. Much of it was pre-written. What I am putting here is the preliminary edits. I am almost at par with where I left off. No I have not completely finished it. I have still 3 or 5 more chapters to edit then I can start writing fresh the next ones. Thanks again for reading. I know it is a HUGE and long novel-length story. I hope I am being true to the personality of the characters and the majority of the Avatar Canon. As a hint, yes, I in intermingled (or will) the season two season finale episodes somewhat into the end of my story… Although my story ends quite differently. As to those wondering what will happen when Zuko meets the Avatar… that is coming… very very soon._

_**Chapter 58: Zuko's Heart Chakra Trial**_

Zuko ran into the dojo and slammed the door. When he saw Mu-Tan he wailed at him, "Did you know?!?! You knew, didn't you!? You knew they silenced Faelin! Why did you tell me!? DAMMIT WHY!?!"

Mu-Tan looked over calmly. "Because we knew you would act like this. Or worse, you might have done something brash and burned down a building in your fury. But you are not at that point are you?" Zuko wanted to hurt someone or break and burn something. Mu-tan gripped Zuko by the collar. "Get a hold of yourself, man! She has gone through a lot for you. And still does. This is part of making active choices… being willing and able to accept and bear the consequences that might come with those choices. Don't make everything she does now a waste of her time and energy." He let Zuko go. Zuko's hands were still fisted, but there wasn't really any fight there. Mu-Tan was right, as always. "Go on, now. Take a moment to compose yourself."

Zuko met Mu-Tan's eyes. "I connected with the chakras today," he said quietly.

A small smile of pride touched the corners of Mu-Tan's mouth. "Excellent. Then do it again. When you are done, go get the next box. It is waiting for you."

Zuko took a deep breath and let it out as though to release great tension. Then he walked down stairs and sat before the new box. He closed his eyes and once again called energy through the first three chakras, feeling the beginnings of focus and balance, not yet complete. When he let go of the energy, the ch'i, he carried the new box up the stairs. He met Ling in the office and they both walked into the dojo. Ling took up his usual place and prepared a new concoction for Zuko to drink.

Mu-Tan waited. He was not going to volunteer any information until necessary, seeing how much Zuko could infer on his own about the box and its contents. Zuko carried the trunk into the dojo and observed the symbol. It was a green lacquered trunk. It could not be earth. The earth chakra was already dealt with. The symbol on the top was a silver circle containing rich green banded malachite. The shades reminded Zuko of lush grass in the wind. Wind. There were silver swirls extending out from the circle and one that crossed it. In the center was a rose quartz triangle with that crossing silver swirl line horizontally across its middle. Pink in the heart and green all around. Zuko looked up at Mu-Tan. "This is the heart chakra. It's colors are green and… pink? Malachite and rose quartz? And the elements is… air?" Zuko didn't sound sure. It didn't quite make sense with his understanding of the elements.

"That's right," approved Mu-Tan. "This is the heart chakra. Air is its elements as it is also associated with the lungs. If you make a fist, it is the size of your heart. But your open hand is the size of that chakra. It takes in your lungs. Air is necessary for life as are all the elements. Earth gave you foundation. Water gave you passion and emotion. Fire gave you spirit and power. Air breathes in compassion and stirs the energies for life. Go ahead and set up."

Zuko pulled out a low sitting table like all the others. It had a malachite top with a single wide divot in the center and three small silver disks embedded on three sides. Zuko pulled out a rose quartz bowl big enough to sink both hands into and set it in the wide divot. Into the bowl, he poured the contents of a bottle of rose water. There were three baggies of cone incense. The cones were very tightly packed herbs and crystallized oils. He glanced at Mu-Tan and caught Mu-Tan nodding. He smelled each as he pulled out one cone from each bag. Jasmine. Sandalwood. Mint. "Does it matter where each of these go?" asked Zuko. The shake of Mu-Tan's head was his answer and he placed a cone on each silver disk in no special order. Then he retrieved the green banners from the trunk and hung them about the dojo. He touched them trying to see the odd shimmer of silver in them that teased the corners of his vision. When he went back to the box, it was empty. "That's it?"

"As work through the chakras, you work from the most carnal to the least carnal. That means there will be fewer and fewer items," explained Mu-Tan. He was proud of Zuko for grasping this much so far. Zuko was more careful and was taking his time now to think things through. _Had Zuko now learned to not rush in? Hmmm…_ There was still a long way to go in a very short time.

Zuko's breath caught as Travahar and Faelin came in early. Mu-Tan frowned. Travahar shrugged, "Zuko knows now. So I figured there was no point in avoiding things. I guess I am to be hidden in the basement again?" Mu-Tan sighed and nodded at Travahar's words. Travahar continued, while he could remember the important thing I forgot to ask about earlier. "Actually, may I take over one of the empty rooms upstairs? I … ran into a problem at home with my belongings, some sensitive items. I am not comfortable with them in Hwa Lan's possession at the moment. I don't want her hurt because she has them."

Mu-Tan focused on Travahar a moment, discerning the meaning that was unspoken. So, Travahar's sanctuary was violated. This was very bad indeed. "Yes. You may stay in there till we are done here."

Faelin walked over to Zuko. She wished she could say something to him, anything. He just pulled her into his arms and held her till Mu-Tan insisted they part and get ready. Zuko strode to Ling and drank what turned out to be a rose petal tea with a slight hint of honey and mint. Despite his notions of this being a "woman's" drink, it was quite pleasant. He will have to suggest it to his uncle for the tea shop. What was the other flavor in it? It was subtle but potently made him feel very calm.

He took his place on the floor. There was no cushion. He sat comfortably, though felt almost hyper-aware of Faelin's every move. She too drank the tea from Ling. _Did she do this at each rite?_ Zuko wondered. She kissed Zuko's brow instantly bringing his awareness to the chakras. The she took her place behind Zuko and a little to one side where Mu-Tan could see her. Zuko noted the arrival of his uncle now too. _Was Uncle Iroh now going to be here for all the rites?_ He closed his eyes and breathed as Travahar retreated upstairs to pick an empty room. Again, Zuko felt the energy well up through the chakras and warm his whole body.

Mu-Tan spoke as he did the previous nights, reaffirming the routine of ritual. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The fourth chakra will be your heart chakra. It is located in your chest. Sit comfortably. Then breathe and remember the feeling of chakras you have already opened and cleared." Mu-tan gave Zuko a moment to really think and feel his first few chakras. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

Mu-Tan sat on the other side of the table as Zuko shifted slightly to be as comfortable as possible. Ling stood and created a circle of salt around the interior perimeter of the dojo. "Light the incense," he instructed Zuko. It was a tiny bit of firebending. The smoke curled in light little fragrant swirls or rose, jasmine and mint. "This is the heart chakra." Mu-Tan reached across the table and pushed Zuko's loose shirt off his shoulders to expose his chest. Zuko did not even start at the touch and did not resist. Mu-Tan touched one finger to Zuko's heart. Then he sat back. "The heart chakra is also tied to the lungs and thus the element of air." Zuko took in a deep breath as though commanded. "Its colors are green and pink, malachite and rose quartz. The scents are rose, jasmine and mint… all used to stir the air within you and awaken your heart chakra. Dip your right hand into the rose water and then place it over the center of your chest." Zuko obeyed, feeling the rose scented water permeate his skin with every breath.

After several breaths, Mu-Tan continued. "This chakra is the source of love, devotion, compassion and healing. It is blocked by grief." He let that word hang in the air for a long while. "Lay all your grief out in front of you."

_Awareness faded to the sensation of soft silks and drowsiness. Ursa's face came into view by a pool with turtle ducks. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "Iroh has lost his son. Your cousin Lu Ten did not survive the battle." His mother's words were gentle, but so very sad. His uncle came home so overcome with grief that he had fallen into a fever. Ursa visited him and help nurse him back to health…. _

_The soft scent of vanilla bergamot drifted by as his Uncle Iroh told the story of why he left the siege of Ba Sing Se and the tragedies that happened there. Iroh's grief touched Zuko._

Zuko swallowed several times as a lump developed in his throat.

_Again soft silks and drowsiness surrounded him. A light touch on his shoulder and his mother gazed at him full of worry and concern and love. Mom? "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done," __she hugged him.__ "I've done to protect you. Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." She released him and walked out of his room. Mom? Mom? She looked back at Zuko from the dark hall, her eyes full of sadness, as she pulled a hood up over her head and vanished into the darkness. MOM!?!_

_Azula's voice emitted from a blue dragon snapping its jaws as it flew through the room ruffling the banners. "Sleep now… Sleep… just like MOTHER!" Its jaws snapped down on an image of Ursa, swallowing her hooded figure into sudden darkness._

Zuko yelled aloud, "NOOO! MOTHER!" Tears streamed down his face. The image of his mother faded from the banners around him. He shut his eyes tight to only squeeze more tears from them.

Iroh's voice was heard speaking gently from across the room, "You have felt great loss. But remember this, love is a form of energy, like anger and other emotions. An energy that blows and swirls through and around us. Sometimes, like the air we breathe, we do not see it, but it is there, present and caring."

Zuko remember all the times his uncle was there for him, no matter what, no matter how badly Zuko had behaved. His uncle was there with a hand held out to him, loving him unconditionally. Zuko gazed through tear-blurred vision at his uncle.

Mu-Tan then spoke up, "Your mother's love for you is not gone from this world. It flows through your uncle to you."

Zuko drew his arm across his face to mop up some of the tears. He had not wept for his losses till now. They had always only come to the surface and been shoved back into some dark corner of himself, maybe consuming him in his dreams, but never before while awake in the presence of others.

Mu-Tan continued, "It blossoms in your heart and is reborn in the form of new love."

Zuko could not help but look over his shoulder at Faelin who smiled reassuringly at him.

When his gaze returned to Mu-Tan, Mu-Tan went on, "Let your pain flow away on the wind."

Zuko closed his eyes, wiping his face again, though with the other arm this time. He took in a deep breath and inwardly whispered that he would love as he was loved by those who love him still. He heard Mu-Tan take a breath to speak more but interrupted Mu-Tan's train of thought, and maybe the rite, by standing. Mu-Tan frowned and Iroh walked to stand by Mu-Tan's side. Zuko turned and walked over to Faelin. Iroh put a hand on Mu-Tan's shoulder and the men understood that this rite was essentially over.

Zuko knelt in front of Faelin. Her tattoos faded as she looked into Zuko's eyes. Neither spoke. He enfolded her in his arms and held her close for as long as he would be allowed. "Do I have any time with you this evening?" Zuko asked quietly. She peaked over his shoulder at Mu-Tan as Travahar walked into the room. Travahar stopped and sighed. Mu-Tan and Iroh and Travahar then retreated downstairs as Ling followed.

Faelin stood and Zuko with her. She led him upstairs to the room they had once shared so intimately a little over a month ago. She sat curled in his lap for a bit while she pulled out one of the journals he had gotten for her. "You have been using it? How? Travahar?" She nodded. Zuko was realizing how much he truly owed Travahar, a deep spiritual debt indeed. Zuko hugged Faelin tightly again. "May I read it?" Again she nodded and snuggled close to him. He decided to read it later. He was not going to waste any of this rare moment with Faelin. It was too short a time in the end, as Travahar was calling from the dojo. Faelin and Zuko shared a slow kiss before they went down and reluctantly parted ways.

Iroh put his arm around his nephew's shoulders. "Let's go home."


	59. Chapter 59: Zuko Meets the Avatar

_**Chapter 59: Zuko Meets the Avatar**_

Zuko hurried back to the Jasmine Dragon to help his uncle. He was still riding high on the rush from sparring and training all morning with Travahar in the dojo. The competition was only days away. He dashed in for a quick shower and change of clothes. He was tying the apron on as he walked down the stairs into the Tea House. It was already crowded. The new staff seemed to be settling in well and the new guy hired to help make the tea was courteous. There was a man spinning dragon beard candy at a table in the corner. Zuko stifled a childish grin. He was so glad that his uncle hired him. It was a tiny suggestion Zuko made in a letter to his uncle while he was roaming the Lower Ring with Ty-min. That and he loved dragon beard candy. It was a small secret he never told anyone… a secret he and his mother alone had shared when he was very young.

Zuko looked around confused as to where his uncle was. Normally his uncle was there among the chaos and rush of staff and clients. Then he heard the unmistakable laugh of his Uncle Iroh in the small private room. He asked one of the staff if the private room had been served yet. They handed him a dish of small cookies to take in while his uncle was taking the tea order there. Zuko never saw Sun Fei walk in and sit herself down. She was hoping to get Zuko's attention at some point to talk. Instead, she smiled pleasantly at a servant and ordered a jasmine tea. She decided to watch. She had the small secret of knowing the Avatar was in the private room having just walked past the window there and noticed him. _This was going to be… interesting._ She hoped it would not be messy.

"So when do you all leave?" asked Iroh who was sitting among the group.

Zuko set the dish of small cookies down and straightened suddenly. He froze, a stunned feeling filling him as he realized the company. Almost all eyes were now on him. Katara and Sokka's blue eyes were wary and concerned. Aang grinned and Toph placed both hands on the table ready to act if Sokka did something stupid or Zuko decided to throw a fireball or something. The tension was almost palpable.

Toph broke the silence with a polite nod and quiet reminder, "We are leaving tomorrow morning. My mother is in town, so I want to go see her since she seems to understand how much I want to have my freedom and how much I value earthbending, that I can't just be treated like a doll or an invalid because I can't see. She realizes that I really can do things of value for this world." It made Zuko blink at her sudden admittance of a disability that he didn't even realize for the incredible skill he had seen in her. He was also taken aback by the logic she presented. She understood noble talk and used her words carefully.

"That's right," said Katara. "Aang is heading out to see a guru to learn to master the avatar state and taking my brother with him part of the way. Sokka is going to visit with our father!" She was so happy and proud of them both for this.

Just mentioning their father made Sokka grin. "I can hardly wait! You are still the bestest sister ever for letting me go!" He then gave Zuko a wary look. Katara and he exchanged wary looks. She whispered to him that she would be fine.

Zuko was still not sure how to react. For so many years he had hunted for the avatar. This past year he had given it up, accepted that his father would never want him even if he did bring back the avatar. Still, a small part of him desperately wanted his father's love. And, the avatar was right here, sitting right here.

"Maybe now we can be friends, Zuko," Aang's words were so open, like back in the woods a couple years ago. "And maybe you can help us fight this war. Katara is going to stay to help the Earth King."

Zuko balled up his fists and clenched his jaw. _They were still the enemy… weren't they?_ He still hated them… didn't he? Zuko snapped loudly, "I am NOT going to help you. Uncle, what are you…"

Iroh stood and put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "A mark of a noble man is how well he serves tea to his enemies and how respectfully and honorable he treats them when they are guests. It goes a long way for how you are looked upon by others in the future, Nephew. Remember my story of Mu-Tan?"

Zuko struggled with his temper. He closed his eyes tight and took in a deep breath. His uncle's words struck home. "I don't have to like them or help them."

Iroh firmly handed Zuko a list of teas. "No, you don't. But you do need to go get them tea."

Zuko stormed out to the tea counter with the order. It was all he could do to not incinerate the little piece of paper. _Serve the avatar? SERVE him and his band of friends? How insane was that!? They'll think I am poisoning them, especially the waterbenders. And they wanted to be friends?!_ _They want me to be on their side?! Are they mad? After all the terrible…_ he paused in this train of thought. _Yes, terrible, after all the terrible thing I had done to them over the past couple years._ He had chased them from end to end of the world. He had fought them and tried to kill them. He tormented them and practically tortured them. _The mark of a noble man is how honorably he treats his enemies over tea._ "I can't do this…" he whispered to himself as Sun Fei approached having witnessed the whole interchange.

"Yes you can," came her soft clear voice, like a bird announcing the dawn subtly.

He met her eyes as the tea was poured and set on the tray for him to take to the private room.

Sun Fei gracefully raised her fan and turned. "We'll have tea outside when you are done. Show them how noble and honorable you can be."

He squared his shoulders and nodded to her. She was somehow part of such a different world than the world he knew with the avatar. He nodded again and picked up the tray, walking with greater pride back to the private room. He could not talk to the avatar and his friends, but he could serve them tea. His uncle could be the social one. He was polite and bowed honorably to them in turn. He offered them their teas and after a bit respectfully declined any conversation and excused himself. "Uncle, do you need me further? I… need to train."

"No no. We are about done. Will you be back by dinner?" asked Iroh.

Zuko nodded silently, he had several things to do today. He wanted to get away and talk with Sun Fei, just to be away from the Avatar. He needed to think. He had to practice for the competition. He had to register Ty-min for one of the schools by nightfall. He bowed again to the group as a whole and left to meet Sun Fei outside, tossing his apron into the back room onto a pile to be washed.

The cool breeze outside was welcoming, even if it threatened a chill rain. "Your uncle is right, Lee, about respectfully serving tea to your enemies." Sun Fei was mild with her tone as she tugged her cloak about her shoulders more securely. She knew he was Zuko. She knew that group was the Avatar and his friends. She knew Zuko had a long-standing hatred for them. Or did he?

Zuko wasn't even sure he hated them any more. He was just so used to hating them and hunting them. "Don't repeat my uncle's words back me, Sun Fei. I am not in the mood."

She sighed and walked elegantly beside him. "You behaved nobly back there. I know it must have been hard. Can you behave just as nobly with a Lady at your arm in public?" Her long-lashed eyes met Zuko's.

"Sun Fei…" he began. _Was she still interested in him?_ "I… I have someone in my life already." _There,_ he thought, _I said it to her._

Sun Fei shrugged one delicate shoulder. "I know. You can still be a noble gentleman and offer your arm, or has your time in the Lower Ring lately made you forget how to be that?"

He pursed his lips. Sometimes she really annoyed him. And sometimes, she was so captivating and right and noble. It reminded him of the courts he had left behind as a youth. He was still all wrapped up in his confusion and anger. He stopped walking and took a slow breath, letting go of those feelings. Then he gave her a little bow and offered her his arm. He decided it was not betraying Faelin to do so. It was being polite and showing he had some decent upbringing. "So, why are you here, Sun Fei?" Zuko finally asked.

"I thought I would see how you were faring. My dearest friend is now betrothed and I wish to see know that the kind of company she might keep is worthy. Besides, she needs some help sorting out a great deal of information. You know more about the Fire Nation than…" She was cut off by Zuko's sudden halt.

"Don't ever ask that. Not ever. Not out here." He was very sharp. He regretted his tone immediately when he saw the little frown mar Sun Fei's beautiful face. "I'm sorry. You have to be careful what you say around here. I don't want you to get hurt. Enough people I care about have been hurt."

She was touched that he cared. _So,_ she concluded, _the exiled Fire Prince does truly care… and can change. There may be hope for the world after all._ She opened her fan with her free hand to block the wind that blew by. "Then perhaps it is time to set aside your differences with some people and consider your options. The choices you make now can alter the course of history." Being that her favorite subject was history, it thrilled her a little to think that she might be having a small hand in making it. If Zuko could be swayed to work with the Avatar, the war could shift in favor of the Earth Nation, or at least no longer in favor of the Fire Nation.

"Sun Fei, I… I don't know how I feel about the Avatar and his… friends. Certainly no love for them. But I won't hinder them in their cause. Some things must come to an end, somehow. I just don't think I can make much difference, really." He had so many other worries and they weighed on him. "I need to register Ty-min for school before sunset and practice for the competition." Somehow, that competition seemed meaningless.

"Have you chosen where to send her?" They walked on as Sun Fei eased the talk into lighter topics. This was an art she was particularly skilled in and proud of it.

"Yes. There is a Middle Ring school near the train station. I liked the program and she liked the teachers. My uncle thinks it is good too. It is more expensive than I want, but I will manage." He suddenly felt odd and overly responsible to be thinking something like schooling for a little girl. If the Avatar failed to turn the tide in the war, what would happen to Ty-min and Faelin?

"You are very resourceful, Lee. I know you will manage. Also, if you come in the top three in the competition, there is a great set of prizes. It could cover her schooling for a good long while." Sun Fei gave Zuko a warm smile of encouragement. He is noble and discovering how hard it is to claw one's way back up that ladder that he had fallen from. It was inspiring. She wished he did not have someone on mind to marry. She found him wonderfully interesting, if slightly dangerous a match. That was also thrilling.

They walked to the registry building and Zuko logged Ty-min's name and the school she would be attending. The man at the desk took all the details and informed Zuko that an acceptance latter and bill would be sent to his home in the next day or so, by a message runner. That stress out of the way, Zuko and Sun Fei continued they leisurely walk around the Upper Ring. "Are you really helping Travahar?" he asked after some time of silence.

Sun Fei laughed lightly. "Of course. Lan and I do much together. I can find out a great deal with the access I have to the library and archives. I have already done a great deal. He recently asked me to look up more temple information. I don't know what that has to do with him and his research, but somehow I know it all ties in. It is a gripping mystery, you two are part of. I hope to find out all I can."

Zuko frowned. "It is risky."

"That is alright," she replied. "Anything worth having comes with a little risk. Where are you going to practice?" Again she diverted the conversation before he could get too emotional about it. She can never forget how he was on the campus grounds in front of the Library. He is a volatile man. She had to choose her path of words carefully.

"Likely at home till after dinner. Maybe Travahar and I will meet again at his place. He has a larger sparring room set up somewhere." He still wondered now if this competition was a waste of time. "Will you be at the competition?"

"Of course!" She blurted. "I would never miss this. It is a historic event! Huo Long and Leu Long in the competition. Will your uncle be there? Will Mu-Tan?"

Zuko's eyes darkened to a deep gold. "I wish we were not named those so publicly. And I am leery about the fight. I don't want people to get the wrong idea. I don't know if Mu-Tan will be there. And it would be foolish to have my uncle there. Too many dragons in one room is unnerving for such a public event." But deep down inside, Zuko hoped both Mu-Tan and his uncle would be there. He was proud of his progress. He wanted them proud of him too. He once wanted his father to be proud of him, but that will never happen.

Sun Fei considered Zuko's words. "Perhaps not, but it would certainly be historic if they were! It would be a great show of friendship and alliance. Also, you could really play it up for the development of the nations and the moral of the people."

Zuko looked at her quizzically. Sun Fei loved Hwa Lan's deviousness sometimes. This was her idea and she now felt that Zuko was ready to hear it out. It was the whole reason she came to meet him to begin with. As he escorted her home, she shared the ideas with him. He was amazed by the plan. It could work. It really could. It was ingenious! Now Zuko looked forward to the competition. The competition now had meaning that could reflect upon the future. A small thing Zuko can do to affect the outcome of world events yet to happen, or so he hoped.


	60. Chapter 60: Shared Plans

_Author's Note:_

_Chapter co-written with Robyn Stroll aka Coyote_

_**Chapter 60: Shared Plans**_

Hwa Lan had managed to keep herself from prying into the documents Travahar had left in her keeping for about an hour before she thought she was going to lose her mind. For that hour she had paced. Looked at windows. Locked and re-checked the locks on her doors. These documents contained information that people would kill for.

After she had broken down and begun to read through it all, she decided that she just might be one of those people who would have killed for this kind of information in the first place.

The materials were dense, and not all of them written in any consistent sort of way. She felt like she'd suddenly inherited the world's deadliest library. There were notes upon notes upon notes. Letters. Maps. Scrolls. And a box that marked Travahar as the rightful heir to the Earth Nation throne. _Just this box on its own would have assassins and Dai Li crawling all over the city, if someone knew I had them..._

By mid-evening Hwa Lan had read it all through once. By midnight she'd read it all a second time. Somewhere in the late hours into the dark she'd come to several conclusions, and wasn't sure whether to be excited, scared, nervous, proud, or all of the above.

Travahar was the heir to the Earth Nation throne, and was setting up some kind of coup to take the throne over from his cousin who currently sat as the king of Ba Sing Se. Not only that, it seemed to Hwa Lan that Travahar intended to rule not only Ba Sing Se, but the entirety of the Earth Nation and all its peoples. Very ambitious. But also very necessary if the Earth Nation was to survive the coming year.

Lee, who she knew to really be Prince Zuko, seemed to have been researching into the comet that was coming at the end of the summer, and the power that it would give to the Firebenders. This information was sorted along with all the military information that Travahar had gathered with where the Earth nation armies were, as well as the water tribe navy and the Kyoshi warriors. It was like Travahar was trying to calculate if the Earth Nation could withstand an attack if the Fire Nation came when the comet arrived - and had concluded that it could not. Which meant that if Travahar did not take over soon, and do something to fix the situation, all would be lost. The Earth Nation would fall.

To make matters worse, there was all the information about Long Feng and the Dai Li conspiring about the current king of Ba Sing Se. Powerful traitors within their very own city walls. Travahar certainly had a lot of people he'd need to handle if he was going to succeed. Hwa Lan was proud to be counted among those he trusted, and knew she'd stand by his side through it all no matter how hard or dangerous it might get. If Long Feng thought he could take over the Earth Nation, he was about to learn a very hard lesson: Travahar has some pretty tough friends, nevermind just the ones at the dojo!

There was still a lot of information that Hwa Lan wasn't sure what to do with, or how it fit into the big picture. What did Mu Tan's resignation have to do with any of this? Was Travahar going to ask him to lead his army or something? And what about Zuko himself? Were Travahar and Zuko secret allies? Once the Earth Nation was secured, were they going to try to fight the Fire Nation together? Maybe overthrow Ozai before the comet came? And what about the rest?... Why did Travahar have so many notes about old temples in the city? How did they factor into the coming struggle? What or who on earth is the Silver Circle? Mu Tan was one... but what does that mean?!

Mixed in with all these questions were also some very sobering facts. Travahar had kept a list of the people who died while they had been gathering all this information for him over the past several months. 27 people had died to get all of this information, and of those, 19 of them had died in the last 6 months! Hwa Lan had gone to check all her locks and windows for the millionth time again after reading that.

She loved Travahar, and was proud of him for all that he was, all these plans. She hoped that his trust in her was not misplaced. She knew she'd keep his secrets for him until the day she died...but with so many hunting for this information, how long would that be? _Will I even live to see my wedding day?_

It is on that unsettling thought that Hwa Lan finally went to sleep, the ancestral box of the Leu Long tucked carefully under her pillow. If nothing else, this box above all things must be guarded and hidden.

Travahar had planned to collect everything fro Hwa Lan before the morning training at the dojo, but another of his informants turned up dead. He stopped in to see Hwa Lan and told her he would be back after class to do late lunch with her. No one would suspect then. He was just relieved to see her alive. He showed up immediately after the morning training at the dojo.

Sun Fei was just leaving Hwa Lan's with a secretive smile on her face. Travahar gave Hwa Lan a worried look. "Does she… did you?"

His doubting offended Hwa Lan. "She and I tell each other a great many things, but your secrets are safe. How dare you think I might betray that."

He was both sorry he did and relieved to be reassured of her loyalty to her. He was worried about trusting her. Now he was sure he had made the right decision about many things regarding Hwa Lan. _Tomorrow,_ he decided, _tomorrow I will go look into a betrothal ring._ They had lunch together and talked about the competition.

-----

Zuko decided to not bother training on his own till dinner. He returned to the Jasmine Dragon after a tea elsewhere with Sun Fei. The Avatar and his friends had already left, for which Zuko was relieved. "Uncle. I am grabbing a snack and heading straight to the dojo." He wasn't requesting to do so. He didn't particularly want to sit and listen to his uncle natter on about the avatar and how Zuko should consider making friends with him and helping the avatar save the world. The avatar was a boy and his enemy. He wanted no part in the avatar's affairs.

As Zuko was leaving, Iroh met him at the door. "I miss you at dinner." Zuko immediately felt like he was abandoning his uncle. He felt even worse when Iroh put a pouch of money into Zuko's hand. "Make sure you eat. I will see you later tonight."

"Uncle?" Zuko wasn't sure what to say.

Iroh patted Zuko's shoulder. "It's alright, Nephew. I know you want some space. Go on now."

Zuko promised, "We will do dinner tomorrow night."

When he arrived at the dojo almost two whole hours before dinner, he realized that the older youths' class was about to start. These were kids between the ages of nine and fourteen. Mu-Tan welcomed Zuko in and asked him to change and help out. It was a remarkably large class, much like the young children's group. Mu-Tan set Zuko in charge of the nine-year-olds. Mu-Tan had seen Zuko with the younger ones before and felt Zuko would make a wonderful teacher one day. Zuko showed the kids far more patience than he normally showed anyone else. It was also good for Zuko's ego to be able to help others, good for his ego and self-esteem, as well as good for his sense of reaching out to help.

Hwa Lan and Travahar entered to a scene that surprised them both. They stared almost open-mouthed at Zuko assisting one of the students to prefect his moves. Zuko frowned at them and Travahar recomposed himself and nodded regally at him. Then after removing shoes respectfully, marched to the office as though the scene was entirely normal and expected. Hwa Lan was not so smooth. She blinked several times before she digested it all. Zuko straightened up, gaining that posture that clearly stated he was about to be greatly offended. She hurried to catch up with Travahar.

Mu-Tan greeted Travahar and Hwa Lan and informed them that he would have a light dinner for them once they have settled their piles of things upstairs. Ling was overseeing the sparring of the older kids in the group. Mu-Tan came to then observe Zuko as Zuko helped the younger kids to start sparring. It was interesting to hear Zuko reminding the children about honor and respect, trying subtly to instill in them values that Mu-Tan and Iroh often used. It was interesting to see that these words sunk into Zuko's sense of self and practice. Mu-Tan was very proud. He decided he would send a letter to Iroh about this, or maybe mention it later this evening after the rite.

Travahar and Hwa Lan settled the documents, scrolls and journals into the empty room that Travahar had chosen. She was still unsure about the security of this, but felt it was at least less dangerous for Travahar this way. They agreed to meet here over dinner as often as they needed to sort things out. She wanted answers now as much as he did. She had plans, too. But first, she had to see these two young dragons through the competition and use it as a way to plant seeds into the minds and hearts of the people of Ba Sing Se. These seeds she hoped would grow into acceptance of Travahar's kingship and acceptance of an alliance with Zuko… sometime later on… before the comet's arrival. Her mind was a buzz with schemes.

Over dinner they discussed her ideas for the competition. Zuko thought she was mad. Travahar thought she was brilliant. When they finally quieted and looked at Mu-Tan for his input, he remained thoughtfully quiet. Slowly, very slowly, a grin split his face. "This might work. Let's start practicing immediately. There is little time left. The competition is in three days."

Zuko felt an odd chill go down his spine. _Three days._ He had opted to not say anything to Mu-Tan about the avatar yet. He hadn't really thought through how he felt about it. _Three days._ That reality sunk in and worried him. _Can we manage Hwa Lan's plans? We are only just getting able to work as a team._ He was lost in his thoughts a moment and wasn't paying attention to the conversation. He thought about Hwa Lan's plans with an uncertain frown. _This is like…_

"… like a choreographed dance is all." Hwa Lan explained seeing Zuko's skepticism plain on his face. He was unsure of it when Sun Fei mentioned it, too. However, Sun Fei made it seem so easy. He was till open to trying it. It really was an opportunity to make some small changes. _It only takes one man on the top of a snowy mountain to drop a small snowball and cause a gigantic avalanche that changes the entire lay of the land below._ Something his uncle had said to him once when they were out on a ship hunting for the avatar. He didn't understand what his uncle meant then, but he thought he understood now.

And so began some careful adjustments to the evening's training. The other students arrived to practice as well. They were eager for the competition and expressed their confidence at the two chosen to be in it to represent their class. They were sure one of them, either Travahar or "Lee" would earn the dojo trophy. The prestige alone would trickle down to all students in the dojo.


	61. Chapter 61: Zuko's Throat Chakra Trial

_**Author's Note:**__ Thank everyone for the amazing and encouraging comments. Please note that I am at the stage of writing fresh new content and thus I will be slower to post. I apologize. Please be patient. I hope you are still enjoying reading. I know I am still enjoying the colossal amount of research I am doing for these chapters and enjoying writing them for you._

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_**Chapter 61: Zuko's Throat Chakra Challenge**_

Zuko paced the dojo floor. Mu-Tan was seeing the last of the adult students out and talking with one of the noble's about perhaps hosting a dinner after the competition. Zuko could think of nothing at the moment but the chance he will have at seeing Faelin. His worry over her situation gnawed at his gut. He had to get her out. The rumors he heard also from one of the poorer men was that Fong's gang was getting more pushy, too. This also worried Zuko. He had thought the issue with Fong was taken care of. What if Faelin were intercepted by a Fong gang member? Travahar would be with her. She would be safe. But he wanted her out of that red lantern house. He paced and paced.

Mu-Tan watched with a mild expression. "Please don't make groves in the floor."

Zuko stopped his pacing surprised at Mu-Tan joke. "What is happening with the Fong Gang?" he blurted.

"The members are tenacious and have backing from some of the Dai Li. There is still no news as to the actual whereabouts of Fong, himself. Fong is a very common name in the Earth Kingdom. My various leads have not turned up anything related to the gang… yet." Mu-Tan understood now what made Zuko pace. Unfinished business can be such a distraction. "Fong is not your concern now, though."

Zuko huffed and paced the perimeter of the dojo like a caged animal.

"Apparently it is not the only thing bothering you," noted Mu-Tan.

"The competition is in just a few days. I have only a few days left of the chakra rites. What happens when they are over? Can I free Faelin? What will it all mean? Will I be Silver Circle? What does that mean for me and my future?" It was another barrage of questions.

At least Mu-Tan was not put off by them as Faelin would have been. "The competition will help you build your image and Travahar's and this dojo's. There is great honor in just being there. You are one of the best I have seen in a long time. Accept the honor with grace and no caveats." Mu-Tan was glad he said that last bit as he saw Zuko opening his mouth to protest and say something likely self-defeatist. Zuko merely closed his mouth again. "As for the rites, you must finish them before you can become Silver Circle. We already discussed what it means to be Silver Circle, or have you already forgotten?"

Zuko cast his eyes to the mats. "I haven't forgotten. Silver Circle is an honorable group of specialized and trained warriors, guardians of sacred people, places and things."

Mu-Tan nodded. "Good. And when you are ready… after the rites… you may take the vows to be Silver Circle. To defend the sacred with your life, to guard and protect it, to safe-guard it from desecration and destruction. To be noble of heart and mind, be righteous in all that you do. I am assuming you will want to commit yourself to the protection of the priestess, Faelin?"

Zuko gave Mu-Tan a look that clearly asked how Mu-Tan could even question that choice.

Mu-Tan was pleased at how much Zuko had grown into such a responsible man. His brief note should already be in Iroh's hands.

Iroh, upon reading the note and the invitation to come out for the entirety of the next rite, closed up the tea shop a bit early with some apologies and headed out right away. He arrived to see his nephew in a kneeling meditation pose in front of Mu-Tan who was just informing the young man to go get the next box downstairs.

Zuko stood and turned to see his uncle stepping softly onto the mats, shoeless. A warmth grew in Zuko's chest with the proud smile he saw on his uncle's face, a proud smile he did not see very often from anyone and it was directed at him only. "Uncle?"

Iroh responded by putting a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Best do as your Sifu says, Nephew."

Zuko gave his uncle a short honorable bow and hurried downstairs to bring up the next box.

All things considered, this evening went very well. He was looking forward to seeing Faelin again. He wondered what this evening was going to be like. He knelt in the basement and took a moment to look at the box. It was dark in the basement. He considered firebending a little flame of light, but decided against it. Picking up the box, he noted it was not very heavy. When he stepped back into the dojo, Mu-Tan and his uncle were deep in conversation. Iroh beamed with pride for his nephew as Mu-Tan recounted how the class went with Zuko helping teach. Zuko felt his cheeks get hot with the praise. Zuko hoped that maybe one day he will be as good and training others as his uncle and Mu-Tan.

The box was vibrant lacquered blue. On the top was the new symbol that Zuko was now puzzling out as a way to distract himself from Iroh and Mu-Tan's conversation. The new symbol was concentric circles of varying shades of blue, each rimmed with silver. The widest outer circle seemed to have been made from jeweler-grade lapis lazuli. The middle ring was of blue lace agate and the center was either a dark blue topaz or a very very light blue sapphire. The outer-most silver circle had radiating silver waves. He could easily see that the next chakra's colours were shades of blue and the stones were those used in the symbol. The rest confused Zuko.

Ling walked passed him into the kitchen for water that he needed. So, the beverage was to be simple water. Why not use that for the water chakra several days ago? Then Zuko saw that Ling was adding something to the water.

Zuko settled the box down and opened it to set up the space as before. There was the usual cushion and folding table. This table's top was a solid slab of sodalite. So there is another stone associated with this chakra. A blue candle in a blue class holder that would light the room in shades of blue fit neatly into a divot on the little table. There was a tiny vial of oil that had a sharp almost minty scent to it. A necklace of the various blue stones made Zuko pause. _Should I wear it?_ He wondered. He set it onto the little table not wanting to soil the choker-type necklace with his sweat. He had been so busy that he didn't even get to have a shower yet. His face burned with embarrassment. It seemed sacrilegious to be unclean before a rite.

The last item in the box was a metal bowl. He hoped Mu-Tan would not notice the tiny subtle bit of firebending Zuko performed to heat the bowl and identify the metal. It was bronze mixed with some copper and silver. The bowl had been wrapped in a blue silk brocade that had silver and gold dragonflies woven into it. There was a dark wooden stick that was short and fat. Zuko wondered if this was some kind of mortar and pestle. It made no sense. There was no divot on the table for the bowl. He wondered where it was supposed to go. Finally the blue silk tapestries were discovered at the very bottom of the box. He hung them about the room as Mu-Tan was now letting in Faelin and Travahar.

Zuko felt worse now for not yet getting a shower. He wanted very badly to hold Faelin, but felt he was too disgusting to be touched. Faelin claimed Zuko's hand and led him first to Ling to drink the almost syrupy sweet water he offered them then up the stairs to the room they had shared. He felt suddenly not ready. He hadn't yet gotten his shower, nor had he gotten an explanation of the chakra from Mu-Tan. Faelin took a bit of paper and wrote on it.

**Go through your chakras. I will cleanse you.**

He sat on the ground feeling again embarrassed. _Great. I am smelly and sweaty and she noticed and is now going to bathe me because of it._ He sighed heavily as Faelin left for a basin of water. Travahar helped her carry it up to the room then he retreated to the room he was using to hide his noted and things. Travahar would bide his time going over his research.

Meantime, Zuko calmed his breathing. He focused on his root chakra and felt himself become grounded. _Let go of your fears._ He focused on his navel chakra and felt a stirring inside him. _Forgive yourself of your failings._ He pulled that energy from the root through the navel into the stomach and solar plexus where it ignited with inner fire. _Willpower and self-control._ The fire he pulled up into his heart where it grew warm. _Let go of pain, feel the love that surrounds us._ He sensed Faelin entering the room and knew that she came in with someone. Zuko frowned, but heard the other person leave right away. Zuko again flowed through the chakras he was familiar with one at a time with each breath. This was getting easier to maintain. He could sense that Faelin must be glowing all over her tattoos. He opened his eyes to see as she began to slowly sponge bathe him. The water was scented with that oil. He no longer felt embarrassed, but more like he was blessed by her presence and service.

He wanted to say something to her, ask her how she was doing. However, he found he could make no sound. She touched his throat with her wet hand and began to hum a tune he was not familiar with. The tune was very simple intonations. They resonated through his whole body from his throat down to his root chakra. Soon he found himself intoning the notes as well. It was entrancing to finally hear sound from her, even if it was not words. The slow trance drew him in as she hummed with her. He never noticed when she stopped, or he stopped. She set down the sponge and stood carefully. He stood and took her hand in his. She led him back down to the dojo. Iroh was just walking away from the little table with the strange bowl set loosely wrapped in the cloth, held reverently in his hands.

Zuko sat on the cushion before the table. Almost by instinct he lit the candle with firebending. Then Faelin secured the choker about his neck before taking her place. His uncle sat somewhere to the side of Mu-Tan, who was in his usual place. Mu-Tan gave iroh a short nod. Iroh unwrapped the bowl, while holding it in one hand. With the stick in the other hand, he tapped the edge then ran the stick smoothly around the outer rim of the metal bowl. It sang out a clear note the created a subtle vibration through the whole dojo. Even Travahar upstairs had to just put down his research and meditate to the sound.

As the note trailed off into silence, Mu-Tan explained the rite and the tools to Zuko. Mu-Tan spoke as he did the previous nights. It was ritual. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. This fifth chakra will be your throat chakra. The sweet nectar you drank was to help soothe your throat and open this chakra. Breathe and remember the feeling of opening the other chakras." Zuko breathed slow deep and even breaths, once again awakening the chakras he had already cleansed. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

"I am," he announced loud and clear, feeling the choker's stones vibrate with his deep voice.

Mu-Tan continued his guidance. "As you noted, the color for this chakra is blue and the stones are lapis lazuli, blue lace agate, blue topaz, sapphire, sodalite, blue tiger's eye, and aquamarine. Some of these stones you have seen while setting up. The herbs and oils are lavender, mint and eucalyptus. These were added to the water that cleansed your body and anointed your throat." Mu-Tan paused to allow this information to sink in. After the third breath and an intoning of the note from the singing bowl, he went on, "Each chakra in our bodies has a purpose and can be blocked by a certain kind of emotional hindrance. The throat chakra deals with communication, expression, responsibility, truth, faith, sound, our own true nature… and is blocked by lies, the lies we tell ourselves. What lies have you told or hold onto?"

Zuko felt his throat close up. He wanted to protest that he never lied, not even to himself. But, that was a lie. Iroh made the bowl sing again. As the sound rang through the dojo, everything seemed to fall away from Zuko's vision.

_Azula's child-like voice sang into the darkness, "Dad's gong to kill you… Really, he is. I know! You can run away! Maybe you can find a nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt you. Dad is going to kill you… Dad is going to kill you." Azula always lies. Azula always lies. A flame blasted frim the darkness striking Zuko in the face._

Zuko yelled in the perceived pain, hands coming up over his face as he murmured aloud, "Azula always lies, Azula always lies…"

_General Zhao looked condescendingly down at Zuko, "You… you are just a banished prince. No home. No allies. Your own father doesn't even want you." Zuko clung hard to his belief, you are wrong… WRONG… He does want me. Father does want me. Once I deliver the Avatar to my father, he will welcome me home with honor and restore my rightful place on the throne. "Dad's gong to kill you," echoed Azula. Azula always lies. Dad wants me. Azula's voice was so sweet when he heard it next, "I've come with a message from home. Father's changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him. Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home." Father wants me back. His uncle's voice was a cold reminder and warning, "Zuko, I only meant that in our family, things are not always what they seem." Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Zuko stared at the wanted posted claiming that he and his uncle were wanted as traitors and criminals, wanted… dead or alive. Azula always lies. Father wants me. Doesn't he? _

_That is just a lie. He never wanted me. A cool breeze blew in and Zuko looked over his shoulder at the bundle if tranced avatar in the cave of ice he was hiding in during the blizzard of the North Pole. __You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born.__I don't need luck though, I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am. I don't need friends and allies. _

_But the fight was not there now as it was then. I failed. I failed Father… again. "No," Ursa knelt before him. Her voice comforting, "I loved watching you. That's who you are Zuko. Someone who keeps fighting even though it is hard." Never give up without a fight. I can do this. I can do it on my own. I don't need help. I don't need them, any of them._

"_Maybe now we can be friends, Zuko," Aang's words were so open, like back in the woods a few years ago.__ Years ago when he rescued the avatar, Aang was his name, from Zhao's clutches with the intent on returning him to his father. He was struck down. The avatar helped him in turn. "You know what the worst part about being born over a hundred years ago is? I miss all the friends I used to hang out with." Aang's voice seemed sad. "Before the war started, I used to always hang with my my friend Kuzan. The two of us, we'd get in and out of so much trouble together. He was one of the best friends I ever had and he was from the Fire Nation, just like you. If we knew each other back, do you think we could have been friends too?" Aang was so innocent and open. "Maybe now we can be friends?" I don't need friends. The avatar is my enemy! _

_His uncle's wise words haunted his thoughts, __"A mark of an noble man is how well he serves tea to his enemies and how respectfully and honorable he treats them when they are guests. It goes a long way for how you are looked upon by others in the future, Zuko." I don't have to like them or help them in this war. I don't need them. They don't need me. But that is a lie… Sun Fei's witty gentle noble tone always cut through, "Then perhaps it is time to set aside your differences with some people and consider your options. The choices you make now can alter the course of history." Has my whole life been a lie? No one told me of the horrible things my nation did to people, did to the Air Nomads, did to the Southern Water Tribes. They should hate me, not want to be my friend. My life was all a lie…_

_Darkness engulfed him… the darkness of self-loathing. My life was a lie. Everything I learned from my fathers and tutors… was a lie. Everything. He raised his head to plead for guidance when he heard his mother speak close to his ear, hugging him tightly, "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. Remember this Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." Who am I? If so much was a lie… who am I?_

_I am Prince Zuko, Son of Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai, nephew of Iroh, heir to the throne of the Fire Nation. I am in exile because my father is a disgraceful and dishonorable liar. General Zhao declared with false pride, "__The Fire Lord will finally claim victory in this war." What a lie. That is a lie that my father does not see._ _If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool. He has ruined the world in his war and conquest. Destroyed so many people. Ruined even our own and doesn't see it. I see the lie now. His plot to use the comet… __I don't know how I feel about the avatar and his friends. Certainly no love for them. But I won't hinder them in their cause. Some things must come to an end, somehow. I just don't think I can make much difference, really. Maybe that is also a lie. I have learned much as prince, I have learned much more in exile. And I have learned more here in this city. Maybe I can help? Maybe my small choices now can make change. I don't have to like the avatar or his friends to recognize the hope they bring to people, or the important goal they have. __If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool. I will not believe those lies. He does not want me. He just wants world domination. What a fool._

_If I am to regain my rightful place, I will need allies and help. If our people are to ever know hope and peace again, I will have to be part of this. _

Zuko closed his eyes and took several slow deep breaths. _Had the singing bowl been ringing all this time? _The ringing sound faded into silence. He took another resolute breath. "My life up to now has been a lie… constructed by my father. I will no longer believe it. I know I am wanted. I know I am needed. Blaming my sister or my father for everything that goes wrong in my life will not make it better. I have to make the choices. I have to make the changes."

Mu-Tan was very proud of Zuko. This was a more difficult charka than anticipated. "You cannot lie about your own nature. If you are to be a positive influence in the world, you must accept that you are who you are."

Zuko met Mu-Tan's eyes, then his uncle's. He nodded his understanding. Only now as he stood to meet Faelin did he realize how drained he was. Her hand grasped his to steady him. She carefully removed the choker from his neck and set it on the little table. The singing bowl sound was still ringing in his ears and mind. She stepped into his embrace. Everything quieted. Another lie he now recognized was that he may have her heart but she was not yet free. That was the truth… a truth he wanted to change very badly. Parting ways was difficult. He whispered into her ear, "I am here for you. I promise, I will try to find a way to be with you, to free you. Faelin… I love you." The truth.


	62. Chapter 62: Parting Ways

_**Chapter 62: Parting Ways**_

The next morning, While Zuko was training hard with Travahar in the dojo, Aang and his friends were planning to be apart for the first time in over a year. They had traveled almost the entire world together struggling to find information, teachers, and a means by which to bring an end to the war and balance to the world. Now they each had opportunities of fulfill some very important things in their own lives. Sokka will finally get to see his father and prove to him how much of a man he has become. Toph will get to see her mother, who has at last accepted her ability to be a master earthbender. Aang will finally learn how to control the avatar state with the help of a mysterious guru at the Eastern Air Temple. Katara, well he was being left behind, by choice, to ensure that the Earth King worked toward massing an attack during the solar eclipse. She had her doubts about his abilities and conviction. He was clearly not a leader. She was very grateful for the Counsel of Five War Generals. They were old, but at least committed.

The Earth King descended the stairs onto the palace plaza where Appa was surrounded by the youths. Katara was leaning into Appa's flank affectionately. Aang shyly approached Katara and spoke softly, "Katara? I… I need to tell you something. I've been wanting to say it for a long while now." He blushes a little.

Katara rubs her face into Appa's fur a moment and then steps closer to Aang. "What is it?" She asks curiously.

Aang hesitates, then says as he blushes more, " Katara, I…"

Sokka abruptly interrupts, wrapping one arm around Aang's neck in a playful headlock. "Alright! Who's ready to get going on our little men-only man trip?" He gives Aang a noogie as Katara displays an incredulous expression. Aang struggles to free himself.

The Earth King approaches, "Aang and Sokka, I want to wish you good journey." Sokka Wheels around to face the king with Aang still in the headlock. The king continues trying to ignore the boyish antics before him, "Ba Sing Se owes you its thanks, and we look forward to your return." Sokka releases Aang and all three bow respectfully to the Earth King.

A guard hurried over to the king to inform him, "Your Majesty, There are three women here to see you. They are from the Island of Kyoshi."

Overhearing this, Sokka looked shocked, then exclaimed, "SUKI! That's Suki!" He was almost halfway up onto Appa when he dropped down with his excitement, falling flat on his back.

"You know these warriors?" asked the Earth King.

Sokka stood quickly and brushed himself off, a huge grin on his face. "Oh yeah! The Kyoshi warriors are a skilled group of fighters, trustworthy, too. They're good friends of ours."

Satisfied, the Earth King advised the guard to let the Kyoshi warriors in and welcome them as honored guests.

Katara catches Aang elbow. "Wait, Aang." She throws her arms about him, surprising him. The kiss she then places on his cheek made him blush crimson.

Toph had been hanging back feeling out of place as she was the newest member of their group. She gripped the hem of her shirt in her fingers and quietly spoke to the floor, "I'm really going to miss you guys."

Katara looked from Aang to her brother to Toph, "me too."

Aang scuffed his foot on the ground a moment. He had to agree with them. He was going to miss them all too. Then suddenly he and Katara threw their arms around Toph lovingly, while Sokka stands by with his arms crossed trying to look very manly and stoic, avoiding looking at them. Though, he had to peek a bit because he too was going to miss them. They instantly ganged up on him in a group hug. "AAAH!" he yelps. "That's enough! Ok ok… we love each other." He pats Aang and Katara on the head. As Aang parts to climb Appa and Katar moves to wave goodbye to Aang, Sokka is left with Toph. He rests a hand on her shoulder for a moment and then also climbs Appa and settles into the saddle.

Sokka stretches out in the saddle. "See Aang, a little positive thinking works wonders. We got the Earth King on our side, we got Long Feng arrested, and when we get back… Suki's waiting for me." He lets out a contents sigh. He was remembering when he last saw Suki and they kissed in parting.

Aang was still feeling a bit dreamy from Katara goodbye kiss, even if it was just on the cheek. "Ya… Girls are waiting for us."

Sokka declares cheerily and with surety, "Everything's gonna work out perfectly, from no on and forever." Aang turns to share a smile with Sokka.

Back at the palace, Toph parts to visit her mother in their estate in Ba Sing Se. Katara visits with the Counsel of Five to see who they are and give them a chance to know her. Before the Earth King, in his meeting chamber, three Kyoshi warriors in full costume kneel before him, "We are your humble servants."


	63. Chapter 63:Travahar's Puzzle Pieces

_**Chapter 63: Travahar's Puzzle Pieces**_

After the morning training with Zuko, Travahar sat in the upstairs room staring at the research. Hwa Lan had done an incredible job of sorting them so neatly into careful categories, though she did not know the whole meaning behind his research. She did have a good strategy for helping establish Travahar's credibility and eventual claims to the throne. Even Mu-Tan had to admire her intelligence. So there Travahar sat, staring, pondering, wishing the answers would just manifest. He needed them to. He was going to meet with the other members of Silver Circle and the royal Counsel of Five Generals this very afternoon. He wanted to be prepared. He had to argue so hard for this. Would the generals be so shocked to see him? Would he measure up in their eyes? Did he have enough answers to stand among them?

Travahar looked from one neat pile of Hwa Lan's notes to the next. They revealed so much and yet, they made him ask more questions. He decided to start with the Silver Circle. History research, _thank the gods for Sun Fei,_ showed that Silver Circle were a group of almost warrior monks, devoted to prayer, meditation and fighting. They committed themselves to the protection of sacred people, places and things. They, like the White Lotus, were dispersed far and wide among all peoples. _Were all people once one people for this to start?_ wondered Travahar. Even here in Ba Sing Se, Silver Circle were the protectors of shrines, temples, and religious people… the priests and priestesses of those temples. Now only one of those temples remains as it is. The notes on that are still sketchy and in another pile. _Why did they no longer stand to protect that one temple? Or do they still? Is that why it still stands even though the current laws have denounced them as frivolous superstition?_ Travahar sighed. There were still some members of Silver Circle here. Mu-Tan was one for certain. That much Travahar knew. _But how many more were there? Who were they? Are they enough to summon back into a protective group to once again defend the walls of Ba Sing Se?_ They seem to almost vanish from history after the fall of the temples. All but Mu-Tan.

Travahar then set aside the notes on the Silver Circle to look through those on Mu-Tan, tucked under the Silver Circle notes, since they are related subjects. Mu-Tan, Dragon of the East, Silver Circle of Sakitsuoya Temple (Temple of Ancestors), Silver Circle Guardian of Pristess Zenshin. Mu-Tan was Silver Circle, committed to protect a priestess that he later took as his wife when the temples were disbanded. According to the records, Mu-tan's wife died in childbirth. His very own father and King of the Earth Kingdom named Mu-Tan Dragon of the East and called upon him to be a general and protect Ba Sing Se during the 600 Day Siege. It was during this siege that Mu-Tan's son lost his life. Mu-Tan then handed in his letter of resignation to only run a dojo and train those willing to learn. His resignation letter, which Travahar now held in his hand, said nothing as to the reason for the resignation. Considering the facts, Travahar suspected it was death of his son. Rumor then came about two or three years later of the Silver Assassins or Silver Circle Assassins. Travahar knew Mu-Tan to be one of them. He wondered if the Silver Circle and the assassin guild were truly one and the same. Silver Circle was so noble and sank so low, yet somehow… Travahar was a bit confused. He needed clarification on this. _Where did Mu-Tan stand? If Mu-Tan had not resigned, then he would be part of the royal war counsel and it would be a Counsel of Six. Has Mu-Tan forgotten who he is and what he took vows for? What were those vows exactly? What was really expected of a member of Silver Circle? Maybe by training Zuko as Silver Circle, Mu-tan was trying to regain some of that sense of self?_ Travahar again wondered if he would be given such an honor, to train as Silver Circle. _Is Zuko actually ready for that kind of commitment?_

Travahar rubbed his eyes. Piecing all this together was giving him a headache. For every answer he found, he felt he discovered two more questions needing answers. He huffed and stood. He stretched and trudged down the stairs. After a walk around the quiet dojo, he made some tea and returned to the piles.

To take a break from the religious for a moment, Travahar took up the pile with of notes on the comet. Sun Fei practically wrote for him a dissertation on the history of the effects of the Sozin's comet. Sozin's comet traversed the sky a little over a century ago. It was a great flying ball of fire that brought fevers and great power to firebenders. Those that could withstand the sudden increase in their firebending ability were frightenly powerful firebenders. Those who could not withstand it died of fevers or madness. Some who could control the power were still driven to madness. Sozin was a fine example of this. Then again, it was suspected that madness ran in the family from inbreeding in the royal line of the Fire Nation. Either way, the ambitious Sozin discovered the great power lent to him through the comet. He planned to use it to conquer the world and bend it to his will. The only thing in his way was the avatar. So Sozin began his conquest with the Air Nomads and the Air Temples. It was genocide. And just in case he managed to kill off the avatar among those of Air and the avatar moved to the next in the cycle, he assigned his son Azulon to continue the hunt. Azulon decimated the west coast and claimed it property of the Fire Nation. He aimed to continue the decimation and failed in his attempt to take the Northern Water Tribes. Fearing that he would be denounced as heir, he committed great atrocities across the mainland as he expanded the Fire Nation's territory, attempting to appease his father, Sozin. Such was the reckless cruelty of the fifteen year old heir. Azulon did not rise to power till Sozin died of mad fits at the age of seventy.

Azulon seemed to have mellowed some then. However, the conquest continued. Iroh and Ozai headed the armies against Earth Kingdom. There was not an Air Nomad anywhere and the fighting was brutal across the mainland, especially if Ozai was leading. Iroh seemed to lead with honor and less cruelty, though still claimed as much ground for the Fire Nation as Ozai. Ozai then led a navy against the Southern Water Tribes and decimated them before returning to see the birth of his son Zuko, on the night of the Winter Solstice. Death lay in the wake of Ozai's passing. It was truly a black day for the world when Ozai ascended to the throne at the untimely death of Azulon. While Azulaon was in power, conquered people still lived, just under different rule. Under Ozai's rule, people died… on both sides… in his quest for domination. Now there is to be a return of Sozin's comet. Travahar stared hard at the date written in Sun Fei sweeping script. End of the coming summer. The intelligence reports showed that the Southern Water Tribe could practically be considered extinct, their navy was now at Chameleon Bay fighting Ozai's navies. The Northern Water Tribe held its ground last year when the Fire Nation attacked in an attempt to destroy the avatar and the moon spirit. _That was foolish!_ That ally will be some time in rebuilding and will definitely fall in the coming summer to Ozai with this comet.

Ba Sing Se was corrupt from the inside out. This did not give the remainder of the loyal Earth Kingdom cities much to rely on. If Ozai used the power of the comet, which Travahar was certain of, then Ba Sing Se will surely fall and the world would be lost to Ozai's mad tyranny. Travahar had no idea what to do, even if he was king now. Things had gone so far that there was little to recover. His only hope really was the avatar and those who supported and protected the avatar. A small note, one that was brought to him from a palace spy on his way to this morning training, did give him hope. It declared that the avatar's friends have discovered that there will be a solar eclipse early in the summer. Such a thing would render the Fire nation and their firebenders helpless. That would be an ideal time to strike if the generals are focusing on that timing. Travahar was determined to make this his focus when he meets them later.

He sat back and sipped his now cold tea as he reviewed this entire history lesson in his mind. It was a lot to digest. Sun Fei will have to be seriously commended for her work. Hwa Lan as well for sorting through it all. He had seen from the recounting of the terrible things done to peoples under the Fire Nation rule. No wonder Zuko had fits at the library. If he had been so sheltered from this information, lied to by his tutors, Sun Fei would certainly have had a very upset Zuko to say the least. He understood her scathing remarks in the letter she had sent him the day after that incident. He was glad she continued to help though. Zuko needed to know what his people were doing to others and why. Travahar has seen changes in Zuko since. These changes were partly due to those findings and partly due to the training he received under Mu-Tan. Zuko, heir to the Fire Nation throne would certainly make an excellent ally, even if Zuko is exiled, banished and wanted dead for treason by his own father. Travahar sipped more cold tea as the thought on Zuko more. What a horrible thing to be so rejected by one's father. Perhaps when he had more power, was in place as king, then he would help Zuko regain his throne as Zuko is helping him regain his.

A part of him was starting to think of Zuko as a friend. _Gods and ancestors know, we both need some very trusted friends right now._ He ran a thumb over the sword and dragon crest over the small box that was once his father's and was now his own. _Leu Long… Am I worthy of the name? I have to be. If Ozai dies, Azula will certainly try to lay claim to the throne._ Travahar shuddered at that thought. _I need to secure the Earth Kingdom borders before that possibility came about. Azula was far more conniving at the age of sixteen than Ozai has ever been even with advisors to help. There would be no resting the throne from her if she managed to claim it._

Travahar stood and stretched and then sat again. He closed his eyes to meditate for a few minutes and clear his thoughts. The smell of food drew him down to the kitchen. Ling simply handed him a plate for which Travahar was very grateful. They ate in silence together. Travahar wondered to himself if Ling was Silver Circle. Then he wondered if Kozue was as well. He wondered that so clearly he hadn't realized he wondered it out loud.

"No. My daughter is not Silver Circle. No woman to date has been Silver Circle." Ling's words were quiet and heavy with some hidden hurt. It made Travahar frown and want to apologize. Ling left to clean the dojo in preparation for the late afternoon class.

Travahar walked back to the room upstairs with the satisfaction of knowing that Ling was definitely Silver Circle. Kozue was not, but still a true skilled assassin and spy. She was now in the Fire Nation. Only Mu-Tan or Ling had any news from her. _What was she doing in the Fire Nation? Would she be able to get close enough to kill Ozai?_ Travahar hoped she would, but if she could, there would certainly be news of her success by now. Unless she is dead. Travahar turned his attention to his tea and frowned at the empty mug. Back down to the kitchen he went to get more. Travahar felt like his head was going to explode with the pounding he was feeling in it. This study and research was harder than anything his tutors gave him. He's had a blessed reprieve from them while training for the competition. He'd have to get back to those studies soon though. They were not the tutors training him to be king, but the ones training him to rule an estate. However, a kingdom is just a very very large estate. He could apply the lessons just the same.

He stared hard at the remaining piles. Long Feng and the Dai Li. The Temples of Ba Sing Se. Lake Laogai. He made some notes on paper that he placed on the tops of the other piles he had just read. He didn't want his thoughts and questions for them lost.

He picked up the information he had from spies and informants about Long Feng and the Dai Li, along with some research there. Sun Fei was now working on more research in this field. The legal writs of Long Feng's arrest were gone. That was a loss. Long Feng took on the leadership of the Dai Li when the King and queen died. Someone needed to be a protector and advisor. Long Feng had proven patient and able to manage them well enough. No one had suspected his treachery. Without the writ, Travahar didn't know exactly why Long Feng was arrested nor where he was being held. _That is a man I should have hired Kozue or Mu-Tan to kill. I might still do that._ Travahar did not want such corruption to interfere with his rulership. The Dai Li have been in existence for how long? What exactly were the circumstance by which Long Feng took control of them? The Dai Li were supposed to be elite earthbenders if their loyalty could be reclaimed. His informant had mentioned that they were still loyal to Long Feng. That dragon really needed to be beheaded. Travahar needed more information. The documents he stole on Long Feng were stolen from him and so he lacked what he felt were key notes. He hoped Sun Fei would manage to dig something up in the library archives.

Frustrated from the lack of information, Travahar turned his attention to Lake Laogai, the closest topic next to Long Feng and the Dai Li. Lake Laogai was their headquarters. Apparently under the city of Ba Sing Se there lies a lake and even an underground city. The first city of the Earth Kingdom capital. Here is where Travahar wanted to have a Zuko-like fit and throw things. The journals were torn. The information he had struggled hard to get was gone. Hwa Lan's note tucked in the pages reminded him that she and Hwa Lan would see what they could do. All he had next were a map from Mu-Tan, a report from Zuko when he had been in there, and a glowing green crystal. He sighed in frustration as he turned the crystal in his fingers. Another dead end that needed information. He would have to wait on Sun Fei and Hwa Lan for this. At least he knew that his cousin, who currently sits on the throne, is aware of the treachery and has dealt with it. His cousin has also given over the military to the Counsel of Five. Maybe some good will come of this. His cousin is made less ignorant now, thanks to the avatar.

Travahar set aside those notes and sipped his tea. He glanced over at the pile of notes on Mu-Tan and the Silver Circle. Then resolutely picked up the pile of notes on the temples. It seemed to be a trend to disband the temples in the major cities of the Earth Nation and the Fire Nation. It began in the Earth Nation from the looks of things. Temples were closed and the buildings re-allocated. All but one temple, this temple was the remaining one in the Middle Ring. Travahar looked at a map of Ba Sing Se to see if he could see any connection between it and the sacred tree in the Lower Ring. Nothing. His brow furrowed. Well, the stray notes show that many of the priests and priestesses left Ba Sing Se maybe ten years before the 600-Day Siege. The Fire Nation soon followed suite ten years later. This made it only about the time that Zuko was exiled. _It didn't make sense. Why destroy religion and religious people? Unless, unless they gave strength to people or perhaps sheltered the avatar._ Travahar quickly flipped through further notes. The avatar! When was it known that the avatar was again in the world? Last year. There was a newsprint notice announcing the awakening of the avatar in the world. He read through it. In the Middle Ring Temple, during the designated time of prayer by those still superstitious and needed such sanctuaries for their quiet and complacency, the eyes of the mural on the wall lit up, all the eyes of the Earth Nation avatars. The temple was one dedicated to the avatar here in Ba Sing Se. It was a commemorative temple, not a religious one. That is why it was left standing. The tree, however, was sacred. It was once a site of pilgrimages for ancestral worship and healing. Ba Sing Se has grown so large now and such worship banned. Travahar wondered if the reason for the various small and large catastrophes in the city was due to that. _Were the spirits that real?_ He grew up thinking them only stories and myths, scary stories meant to keep children in line and behaving.

_If Faelin came to the city two years ago, maybe three, where did the children go?_ According to what he read in a note from her and what Zuko had told him, she had arrived with the promise of sanctuary for the children. They would be placed in a temple to continue their training, kept safe by the contract she agreed upon, one sealing her to a fate of servitude to a master. Travahar needed to see this contract. If he could see it, maybe he could discover where these children were actually placed and maybe find a way to have Faelin released from the contract. Ba Sing Se could certainly use a priestess. Travahar was thinking about the future of his city and kingdom. Travahar decided that he would see about asking the old waterbending woman to help with getting the contract, if he could not find its match among the legal records. Then after the competition, he and Zuko can explore the various temples and see what has happened to them. In some cases that would be easy. One such temple was now the Jasmine Dragon Tea House. Travahar wondered if Zuko realized this. Or perhaps, did Iroh know and choose it? He will have to play a game of Pai Sho with Iroh and find out.

Travahar's patience was not thin. Also his body ached from sitting and reading for maybe four hours. He had to make some quick notes to take with him to this secret meeting. He came down the stairs wondering who would be running the children's class while both Ling and Mu-Tan were at this meeting, now that Travahar knew that Ling was Silver Circle. He entered the dojo to find Zuko sitting with the little girl, Ty-Min on the mats. He watches quietly from the door, not wanting to disturb. Zuko was discussing meditation and some of the other theoretical lessons with her that Mu-Tan usually discussed with the class. Travahar almost wanted to laugh out loud. Then he remembered the day before as he saw how well Zuko worked with the children. So, Mu-Tan was going to toss Zuko into the fire from the frying pan and see how well he handled a class. He wondered if there would be living children at the end of this, if there would even be a dojo standing. With that thought he returned to the room and packed all the piles of notes and his royal box into the metal trunks he had purchased on his way to morning training. He then joined Zuko and the little Ty-Min in meditation till Mu-Tan arrived.


	64. Chapter 64:Aang Starts Chakra Rites

_**Chapter 64: Aang Starts the Chakra Rites**_

Aang was surprised by the guru he encountered at the Eastern Air Temple. Guru Pathik was his name and he seemed as old at the dust in the temple. What surprised Aang more was the banana and onion mixture he was given to drink, the sustenance he was to have for the durations of his experience and learning there. Aang refrained from making faces of disgust.

Guru Pathik sat comfortable is a full lotus position on the hard stone floor of one of the ruined open spaces of the temple. Last time Aang had been there was when he was very young, maybe eight years old, when he and Appa chose each other. Friends for life. The Guru regarded Aang with a gentle expression. Aang may be a 113 year old avatar, but he was only just barely a teenager. Aang was a boy still in many ways, yet life and life experiences had matured him more than the teen age he looked. This teenager was the avatar and knew little about the avatar state. He needed to know more than this by now. "You must gain balance within yourself before you can bring balance to the world," he said as he handed Aang the onion and banana juice. "In order to master the Avatar State, you must open all of the chakras. Aang, tell me everything you know about chakras."

Aang lowered his bowl of onion and banana juice to look quizzically at the guru. "What are chakras?"

After a couple hours of explaining, the guru led Aang deep into a dark and misty cavern. This temple was extremely useful for actually being a temple of all the elements. It was last in the care of the Air Nomads and thus named the Eastern Air Temple. But its true nature was place with all the elements came together. This temple would pass next into the care of Water Tribesmen after he left, and then to Earth Nation care sometime in the future. As the guru walked, he pondered the future of this temple and wondered if its partner on the opposite side of the world was still well hidden, a temple where the elements came together and a pool opened to the spirit world. The guru set those thoughts aside. The sacred spaces of this world and the spirit world would be as they always have been, in evolution. The guru refocused his thoughts on Aang, the teen avatar. They sat facing each other in the dark cavern. "There are seven chakras that go up the body. Each pool of energy has a purpose, and can be blocked by a specific kind of emotional muck. Be warned...opening the chakras is an intense experience, and once you begin the process, you cannot stop until all seven are open. Are you ready?"

Aang paused momentarily as he thought. He needed to master the avatar state, no matter what. "I'll do whatever it takes," he said resolutely.

Guru Pathik folded his hands into his lap. "First we will open the earth chakra, located at the base of the spine. It deals with survival and is blocked by fear."

Aang closed his eyes and used the breathing meditation he learned from his own teacher in the Southern Air Temple long long ago. _In the darkness of his mind, he pictured the Blue Spirit mask, then the Blue Spirit himself with swords at Aang's throat. The image in his mind was in the deep red hues of the root or earth chakra._

Guru Pathik then spoke through the image, "What are you most afraid of? Let your fears become clear to you."

_The scene in Aang's mind showed Katara being swallowed by the ground, Aang raging in the avatar state out of control and hurting people around him, Sozin's comet blazing in the sky, Aang as the Ocean Spirit smashing the fleet of ships from Admiral Zhao. Aang grimaced with concentration. He opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by flames, the menacing form of Ozai looming behind the flames. Aang cried out as he recoiled in terror, his arms covering his face defensively, "AHHHHHHH!"_

Aang was locked in his panic. Guru Pathik spoke loud and clear to cut through the vision, "Aang. Aang. Your vision is not real. You are concerned for your survival, but you must surrender those fears. Let your fears flow down the creek."

Sweat beaded Aang's body and his breath came fast. Slowly, he straightened and with each successive breathe relaxed a little at a time. _As calm once again descended upon him, the ring of flames swirled and consumed the image of Ozai and then both vanished into darkness._ Aang opened his eyes to see only the guru and the dark cavern.

"You have opened your earth chakra," said Guru Pathik as Aang wiped the sweat from his brow with relief. Aang smiled feeling like he accomplished something in his effort to gain control over his avatar state. The guru knew Aang still had a long way to go.

After a short break, they hiked around the mountains to a rushing waterfall. They followed a path that allowed them to step behind the curtain of surging water. There they sat again in their lotus positions facing each other. The guru prompted, "Next is the…"

Aang piped with pride, "Water chakra?"

Guru Pathik answered enthusiastically, "Brilliant! Maybe one day you will be a guru too. This charka deals with pleasure and is blocked by guilt." Aang closed his eyes breathing into meditation again. "Now, look at all the guilt which burdens you so. What do you blame yourself for?"

_Aang's vision in his mind blurred and became clear again. He was fleeing the Northern Air Temple a century ago. "I ran away," he said heavy with guilt. He rose up in the avatar state with a tornado of wind to lash out furiously at soldier in the Earth Kingdom fortress after they swallowed up Katara. Aang sat again behind the waterfall frowning in deep distressed concentration. "I hurt all those people," sadness caught in his throat as he spoke._

Guru spoke reassuringly, "Accept the reality that these things happened, but do not let them cloud and poison your energy. If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you need to forgive yourself."

Aang drew in a deep breath and released it. Inwardly, he forgave himself and breathed more easily. He sighed with relief next and looked up at the guru.

They drank onion and banana juice together before hiking out again and stopping on a narrow ledge. There they sat looking out across the sea at the volcanoes of the Fire Islands. Aang complained that his stomach would like to have something other than onion and banana juice when the guru advised him that this next charka was the stomach chakra Guru Pathik chucked, "good one!" Then more seriously, "Moving on. This chakra is the fire chakra. It deals with willpower and is blocked by shame. What are you ashamed of? What are your biggest disappointments in yourself?"

_Aang closed his eyes and allowed his breathing to take him back into the meditative state. In his mind, He sees himself playing around with firebending. His flames erupt outward to accidentally burn Katara. Aang winced at the memory. He shamefully whispered, "I'm never going to firebend again. I can't."_

Guru Pathik gently advised Aang, "You will never find balance if you deny this part of your life. You are the avatar and therefore, you are a firebender."

As this sank into Aang's mind, he exhaled a deep breathe, still frowning slightly.

"Hmm," mumbled the guru, "that chakra opened less like a flowing creek and more like a burping bison."

Aang belched quite loudly, "URRP! Tastes like onion and banana juice, but strangely something else… pickles?" The guru shrugged.

The day was moving along smoothly and better than expected. An avatar is able to go through the chakras often better than other people. The guru was pleased with the progress so far, as was Aang. They walked down the path to a ruined area of the temple. There in the clearing, they stepped over rubble and stones to walk across the mossy ground. Green moss grew over everything. Gentle breezes constantly blew across the softened stones. Green nature was all around with the slightly bending grasses poking up through the stones. Against the higher wall that was still intact, there was a statue of the last Air Nun as she sat in a lotus position. Her eyes were closed in meditation with a peaceful expression on her face. This temple space was dedicated to air and was open on three sides. The low walls on those three sides were blasted apart by the Fire Nation attack long ago. Now all that was left was the soft greenery and gentle breezes. Aang gazed at the serene statue that was vaguely familiar to him. He turned to face the guru and sat in the same lotus position, ready for his next lesson.

Guru Pathik smiled. "The fourth chakra is located in the heart. It deals with live and is blocked by grief." Aang smiled back and glanced over at the statue and grew more somber as he returned his attention to the guru. "Lay all your grief out in front of you."

_Aang placed his hands over his heart and closed his eyes in concentration. In his mind he sat surrounded by a thick green fog. And emerald light shone brightly on everything. In his vision, Aang could see his other teacher, Monk Gyasto. The mists parted a bit to show Monk Gyatso clearly sitting before him. The other monks rose from the fog in their sitting positions as did many Air Nomads from Aang's past. Eventually, a vast field of them sat before him in the green fog. They all sat behind Monk Gyasto. Aang smiled at them, feeling them all around him, surrounding him with their love. Then one by one the fog enveloped them in a whirling cloud. As they disappeared, Aang reached out to them. The green fog sucked him away from them as they vanished into the air, into nothingness, the knowledge of their deaths stabbing Aang painfully and driving tears from his eyes._

Guru Pathik's voice was heard through the fog. "You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love."

_The clouds swirl to envelope Aang as he reaches out to the vanishing Air Nomads. As the clouds pull away from him, they form the image of Katara smiling warmly at him. Tears streak down his face to drip from his chin. Aang draws his arm across his face to wipe the tears._

"Let the pain flow away," Said Guru Pathik softly. "Very good, Aang."

"Can I have some onion banana juice please?" Aang voice was thick with emotion.

After a pause and a stretch, they once again sit at the feet of the serene statue of the Air Nun in the ruined temple glade. The guru begins to lead Aang to the next chakra, "The fifth in the chain is the sound chakra, located in the throat. It deals with truth and is blocked by lies. The ones we tell ourselves."

_Aang sat in meditation. In his mind's eye he remembered the first time he flew on Appa with Sokka and Katara. Katara had asked him with confusion in her eyes, "Why didn't you tell us you were the avatar?" Aang hung his head. He hadn't ever wanted to be the avatar. He just wanted to be a regular boy and not the weight of the world on his shoulders or the world holding so much expectation of him._

Guru Pathik's brow furrowed a moment. "You cannot lie about your own true nature. You must accept that you are the Avatar."

Aang draws and releases a breath as he closes his eyes. He settles in his mind the truth that he is the avatar. Balance also settles in him and the guru expressed his approval.

They take a short walk, higher up the mountain from the glade of ruins. Guru Pathik chose to sit on the long stairs up into the misty peak. They sat and looked out across the other mountain peaks in the area. The sun was well past its zenith and cast a golden and rusty glow upon everything. Aang loved how this guru instructed him. It was like his own teacher, Monk Gyatso, funny now and then and serious when needed, gentle yet firm. They sat quietly for a bit and watched the setting sun. It warmed them with every meditative breath. Guru Pathik spoke softly, "The sixth pool of energy is the light chakra, located in the center of the forehead. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same."

Aang opened his eyes and spoke with remarkable wisdom, "Like the four nations."

The guru was pleased, "Yes. We are all one people, but we live as if divided."

Aang regarded the guru a moment and then looked out across the peaks toward the continent. "We're all connected. Everything is connected." This was a concept that Aang felt very comfortable with and wished that others in the world did as well, like maybe Prince Zuko.

The guru smiled, "That's right. Even the separation of the four elements is an illusion. If you open your mind, you will see that all the elements are one. Four parts of the same whole. Even metal is just a part of earth, and of fire, it is just purified and refined." This was an easy chakra for Aang to open.

It was now time to move on. They climb higher up the long staircase being careful of the steps that have been ruined by was or time. They climb all the way to the summit. Here they were to camp and discuss all that has been experience thus far. The guru wanted to understand where the avatar was in his training and what difficulties he was having.


	65. Chapter 65: Sokka & His Dad

_**Chapter 65: Sokka and His Dad**_

Sokka was nervous to meet up with his father, worried that maybe he did not measure up. He wondered is word had gotten to his father that he passed his rite of manhood. He hoped so. Would his father know what kind of man he had grown into? Would he know how hard he worked at caring for and protecting his sister? Did he have the right to stand among the men? He walked into the Water Tribe Naval Camp of Chameleon Bay with great trepidation. He stopped at the bottom of the hill before entering. He squared his shoulders and tried to ignore the cold lump of iceberg that seems to have settled in the pit of his stomach. He raised his chin and sniffed at the air. He scanned the camp for his father's tent, the command tent. Like a wolf, he loped into the camp hoping he looked like he belonged. He paused by the man who oversaw his rite of manhood. The man smiled and nodded to him. He paused at the entrance to the command tent and cautiously stepped in. "Dad?"

Hakoda, the chief of the Southern Water Tribes looked up from a map. The sight before was like a dream. He blinked several times to take in the reality of what he saw. He had heard that his son was out in the world at his daughter's side both being companions to the avatar. It was an important task and he was proud of them to have taken on such a dangerous and crucial role in the world. Now his son stood a little awkwardly within the command tent. Hakoda had listened to his friend recount the rite of manhood with bursting pride. Now his son stood before, much much taller than he last remembers. Sokka's features had grown more angled. He was still a lean boy, likely fast and dangerous as a whip. He corrected himself. His son was no longer a boy, but a man. There was a small pang of guilt for having missed so much. He stood and strode slowly over almost afraid Sokka would vanish like a dream. He had dreamed of his son often. Dreams were very important to the Water Tribesmen. But he always woke to realize it was just a dream. He put a hand on his son's shoulder to test the reality of what he saw. Then, sudden pulled Sokka into a firm hug. "My son." Sokka returned it just as fiercely. They spent the next couple days catching up and sharing devious ideas and creative means to deal with the Fire Nation. Son was so much like father that some of the other men groan or shook their heads with amusement. Hakoda often looked upon his son thinking that Sokka would make an excellent alpha wolf one day, and excellent chieftain.


	66. Chapter 66: Secret Counsel Meeting

_**Chapter 66: Secret Counsel Meeting**_

That afternoon Mu-Tan came to collect Travahar for this meeting. Zuko arrived and was a mix of concern, curiosity and honor. Zuko was being left in charge of the children's groups till dinner while Mu-Tan and Ling and Travahar were off at this mysterious meeting. Zuko wanted to be at it. Mu-Tan however, explained how important it was for Zuko to do this. It had to appear like nothing had changed here at the dojo. Zuko nodded at the responsibility he was being left with, not just to keep the illusion of normalcy at the dojo, but also the training of two groups of children.

The first was the teen group where he was to oversee the twelve to fifteen year olds. This was going to be a challenge. He was not much older than them at his eighteen years. He had to ensure discipline and respect and teach them the new moves that Mu-Tan assigned. Zuko decided to hold himself with the same air he would on board his ship. It was a commanding air and he felt confident he could manage it. He hoped they did not press the issue and challenge his patience.

Ty-min's group was just before dinner. Hwa Lan and Sun Fei agreed to bring her by and stay to watch. While Zuko was more than comfortable teaching Ty-min's class, he was a bit unsettled to be watched by the two young women. They were both from university. He wondered if he was a good teacher. He hoped so. His uncle might be better, but Zuko found he enjoyed this training. He especially enjoyed watching the students grow under his guidance. He now saw why his uncle loved guiding him and why some masters felt such pride for their students. He kept the idea of Hwa Lan and Sun Fei's presnese out of his mind.

Zuko took out his flute in the time he had to wait and played it while kneeling in the dojo. He had some time before the students were to arrive. The sound resonated smoothly in the dojo. Faelin would have loved to hear it. At that thought of her he went upstairs and looked for her journal, the one he gave her. He remembered her sketching and writing with her lovely calligraphy. But it was not there. Travahar must have passed it to her again. He sighed and returned to the dojo to meditate and review the moves he was to teach.

Meanwhile, Mu-Tan and Travahar walked casually through the Lower Ring to the forge. They exchanged some words with the masters there. Ling should already be at the rendezvous point. They walked out through the side gate to the eastern beach that looke out into the bay. Far across this bay was the Eastern Air Temple in ruins. They walked in silence. This would be the first time Travahar was meeting the people he would most be able to trust when he reclaims the throne. They saw Ling in the distance on the beach, near the craggy cliffs. Mu-Tan approached and nodded to him. "The others are not yet here," Ling stated simple. King's skin was pale like Zuko's and Travahar remembered that Ling was actually from the Fire Nation who had taken a Water Tribe bride. Mu-tan placed his hand on the side of the great stones and opened a small discreet entrance to a large cave with his earthbending. Travahar bit his lip at the secret he kept about his own bending skills. He wanted to tell Mu-Tan, even ask for his guidance. Much of Travahar's earthbending skill was from extrapolating from his lessons or from trial and error, like the metalbending.

They ducked their heads as they walked into the large cave. Travahar was surprised to see that this place had been in use before and thought to himself how silly he was, _of course it has been used before. They obviously used this place for their meetings on a regular basis._ They sat on the stone and driftwood seats. Ling knelt and started a small fire in the little pit in order to provide light inside the cave.

Ling stood guard at the entrance once the fire was going. Mu-Tan sat still with his eyes closed, sensing the movements through the stone. Travah admired this delicate skill and tried to mimic. He sat still and removed his shoes. He could quiet his mind, but he could not sort out the sensations he got through the earth. He slipped his feet back into his shoes. Mu-Tan refrained from letting the corner of his mouth twitch knowingly. Mu-Tan had been so careful with his training of Travahar. He trained him as he would an earthbender. He hoped the boy would grow into being one. Travahar's father was a decent eartyhbender. Mu-Tan looked up at Ling as Ling turned to face inside the cave. "Bao Li is here," Ling informed them. "That completes the Circle." Mu-Tan nodded as Bao Li leaned down to duck into the cave and sit with Mu-Tan and Travahar. Bao Li frowned a bit at Travahar's presense. Travahar looked at him masking his own surprise. Travahar did not realize that Bao Li was Silver Circle. That however was not what surprised him most. What surprised Travahar most was hearing that this was it; this was all of Silver Circle. His heart sunk as he quickly dashed away the ideas of Silver Circle forming an elite army to protect Ba Sing Se.

Travahar didn't see Bao Li very often. He knew he was one of Mu-Tan associates and ran the job and housing office in the South-Western Lower Ring. He looked like any other average Earth Kingdom man. He had lightly tanned skin, dark hazel brown-green eyes, and brown hair shot through with grey. Travahar never knew he was Silver Circle. He never would have remotely suspected. Though, it did make a degree of sense. Anyone who wanted to do any illegal dealings could also leave their requests with this man and he would arrange meetings. Bao Li had a friendly looking face and tone to his voice, but as Travahar listened to him and Mu-Tan exchange casual news, he realized Bao Li's very shrewd behavior.

Ling tapped his hand on the wall. Travahar thought it was in some pattern. Thump. Thump. Thumpthumpthump. Thump. Thump. Mut-Tan then stood and replaced Ling at the cave entrance. Ling greeted Bao Li and sat. After a few minutes, three elderly generals on an afternoon walk met and bowed to Mu-Tan then ducked into the cave entrance. They eyed Travahar curiously as they took their places. Travahar wondered what they thought of his presense. _Do they know who I am? Are they suspicious of me?_

It was not long before the other two elderly generals entered the cave one at a time. One spoke to Mu-Tan as he entered. Mu-Tan nodded and turned to Ling, "Will you go out and help the old man? The climb down the crags is a bit much for him." Ling nodded and left quickly. Travahar wondered who the old man was. He also wondered at the relationship of Ling and Bao Li to Mu-Tan. Ling seemed much closer to Mu-Tan and even frequently seemed to do his bidding without question. _Perhaps there was a life-debt there._

Travahar was even more surprised to see who Ling helped into the cave. It was the old man with the PaiSho café! _So, _thought Travahar, _This is a meeting with Silver Circle, the Royal Counsel of Five, AND White Lotus._ He was amazed. He felt suddenly privileged. They all regarded him politely. The PaiSho master greeted him very warmly. Apparently this old man has also been here before, too. Travahar felt like a great many secrets were kept from him or were about to be divulged to him. He endeavored to maintain a calm repose. Mu-Tan then closed up the entrance with a very think layer of stone, leaving just the barest openings for ventilation.

There was a moment of quiet. It felt almost reverent. They all bowed their heads and breathed in meditation. Travahar followed suit. It was clear; however, that Mu-Tan and one of the generals led this meeting. Travahar listened quietly as news was exchanged. Each person took some time to speak about his findings or important news. They were a bit hesitant and glanced at Mu-Tan frequently about the new presence. After, the initial news was exchanged, a catching up from last time they met. It was more of a social exchange until Mu-Tan stood and encouraged Travahar to stand as well. "We have discussed matters before about the royal standing," Mu-Tan announced. "I felt it time to bring his royal highness to properly attend the counsel set up by his father for his protection." Tavahar's jaw dropped. Mu-Tan's brief side glance made him snap his mouth shut and square his shoulders regally. Mu-Tan went on, "This is Travahar, the prince in hiding." Travahar bowed his head briefly to each man as they bowed deeply to him. Mu-Tan introduce Travahar to the Counsel of Five Generals. They bowed in unison with sure military form. The White Lotus member was well acquainted with Travahar and gave him a knowing smile. The Silver Circle then bowed as one to him as well. "We are all that is currently left of the Silver Circle that we are aware of. Ling and I train others should any show worth and inclination. Bao Li is dedicated to the temple in the Middle Ring." Travahar nodded his understanding. _So, the temple was protected. However, truly the Silver Circle were no longer a formidable group._ Mu-Tan closed his introduction, "We are here to exchange the crucial findings we set out to do and to bring King Travahar up to date with our progress. I am sure he has a great many questions. Any formal reports can be delivered to Bao Li and will reach me and Travahar direct through him."

Everyone then sat. Travahar mentally skimmed through what he planned to ask and was inwardly very excited to see these loyal people. _When I am king, I will reward them for their loyalty._ He struggled with what to address first. He did not want to waste their time or appear shallow or petty. These men were his subjects and the only men at the moment who were working already to help him regain his rightful place. Travahar took a moment to look each man in the eye. He knew how to be noble and regal. It was especially important now. His eyes fell upon the Counsel of Five Generals. "I need news from the Palace. How is my cousin? Is he well? In such a position, others may try to manipulate him or harm him for their own gains."

One general who sat hunched over stood to answer Travahar. "Your cousin is well. A little less ignorant now that the avatar managed to open his eyes. He now addresses us and hears our advice. Long Feng did indeed have some hold over him. But Long Feng's treachery and deceit has been exposed." The general waited to see what Travahar knew of this before continuing. "It was discovered that Long Feng has been controlling the information to your cousin. He has also been in control of the Dai Li and engaging in illegal mind control in the base of Lake Laogai."

Travahar interrupted, "Lake Laogai. Tell me about this place."

The generals looked from one to the other. Another stood, letting the first sit. "Lake Laogai is the first city utop which Ba Sing Se was apparently built. We are still trying to establish its exact mapping. Beneath this city lies another, it is somewhat in ruins with a large underground lake called Lake Laogai. The corridors are lit naturally with the green glow-stones. We suspect that the Dai Li may still hold some loyalty to Long Feng, though we know not why just yet. This means that they may be changing the routes to the corridors which would explain why there is so much difficulty in creating a true map of this location. Long Feng has been in prison but we sometimes still feel his presense and hold in the palace."

Travahar considered this. This was definitely not news he liked. "What about the avatar?"

The youngest of the old generals stood. "The avatar arrived some time ago with several friends in search of his flying bison. He was integral is helping stop Azula and the giant drill that nearly broke through the outer walls of Ba Sing Se. It was through his search for his bison that he managed to uncover Long Feng's plot and treason and force the king… I mean, your cousin to see that the war was truly in existence. We suspect that Long Feng may actually be in league the Fire Naiton or may simply be trying to gain control of the crown for himself. The avatar has since departed, however he has left behind one of his companions to work with us. They had important news. There will be another coming of Sozin's comet at the end of the summer." Travahar nodded as he already knew this tidbit. "The avatar also informed us of a solar eclipse that will interfere with firebenders and render the Fire Nation powerless. It will pass sometime early this summer. The avatar parted to study with a guru to master his avatar state. He should be back within the week. Also, three Kyoshi Warriors arrived and were vouched for by the avatar. We now discuss over the war table the locations of various troops. We await news about Fire Nation troops." Then he sat.

Travahar thought about all this. This was incredible news. An eclipse was good news. Anything that rendered the Fire Nation helpless and helped bring an end to the war was very good news. They did not seem to know about the presense of the exiled Fire Nation Prince in their midst, nor the presense of the Dragon of the West. The old Pai Sho master must know thought because the Dragon of the West was also a member of the White Lotus. But this old man chose not inform everyone.

Travahar then looked to Mu-Tan, "And Kozue? Did you not send her to the Fire Nation? What news have we from her?"

Mu-Tan pulled from a pouch his encrypted notes from Kozue. "She is indeed in the Fire Nation. She confirms the news you have just heard about the coming comet. She also confirms the Fire Lord's intention to use the power of the comet to complete his conquest for world domination."

"Then why don't we just have her assassinate him!" snapped Travahar. Apparently this showed his youth and ignorance as he saw several frowning faces. "I thought she was the best. Can't she do it?"

Mu-Tan shook his head, "She is very good, perhaps the best, Travahar. But she cannot get close to the palace. If by some chance she does and can get close enough to kill Fire Lord Ozai, she is instructed to sieze the opportunity. She does however have other missions if the opportunity is not available.

"So… What do you all plan to do?" asked Travahar as he now felt uncertain what came next.

The old man reached up to draw Travahar back to sitting. As Travahr sat, the PaiSho master explained, "We are doing one thing at a time to secure stability here despite the internal cirruption that has been discovered. Those of the White Lotus are working to establish those who will be loyal to you when the time comes for you to reclaim your throne."

The hunched general nodded. "And we are focusing on the war to prevent the Fire Nation from once again attacking Ba Sing Se. With this news of the eclipse, we finally have an advantage and will be launching an offensive attack at that time. The warriors of the Southern Water Tribes are in Chameleon Bay already preparing to attack the Fire Nation naval forces. With luck, we will be able to push back the Fire Nation back to the west coast with the land forces and with the avatar's help. At the very least, we should be able to reclaim Omashu and the southern trade routes."

They gathered around maps of Ba Sing Se, Lake Laogai, and the world. They spent the next several hours heavily depating their actions and plans. Travahar was deeply disturbed by how much the Earth Kingdom had lost… all the nations. The Fire Nation now held strength and power over three quarters of the mainland and most of the islands. Kyoshi Island was still loyal to the Earth Kingdom. The islands of the Air Nomads and Air Temples were vacant of life and had been for nearly a century. The Southern Water Tribe was now just one small village. The Norther Water Tribe lost all its hold on the northern parts of the mainland. Travahar wondered how they would ever reclaim any territory. The avatar had a great deal of work to do. And at such a young age… thirteen… Travahar could hardly imagine how this boy would do it, avatar or no. The sun was set for some time when the meeting finally broke up and everyone parted ways.


	67. Chapter 67: Bait

_**Chapter 67: Bait**_

The afternoon proved to be cloudy and damp as a reminder that the winter season was far from over. The chill made Sun Fei shiver. She gracefully pulled her hood up and walked with long sure strides to her very favorite place, the University Library. She and Hwa Lan agreed to split up the research. Hwa Lan was going to visit the temple at a time that was arranged with the curator of that temple while Sun Fei scoured the library for information on temples and Lake Laogai or the original city upon which Ba Sing Se was built. History was her first love. And this was something she wanted to write her thesis on. She had almost enough information.

She nodded to the Librarian and set her cloak at one of the study tables. The Librarian earthbended the staircase up so Sun Fei could access the books she sought. Her hand caressed the spines with gentle longing. She wished she had time to read them all. Today she had a mission; those other texts will have to wait. She finally found a little treasure trove of books she was surprised she had overlooked yesterday. A neat little group of the books she sought. Someone else must have had them out yesterday. She grinned with her little victory and drew out the old journals and books on the city's founding. She even found a title that made her squeak with joy. She apologized fro the noise. The book was titled Lake Laogai. She gathered her findings and made her way along to another section for architecture and drew out a couple more books.

A Dai Li agent leaned over the desk speaking quietly to the Librarian. He glanced up at Sun Fei, nodded and left. He was pleased. Sun Fei took the bait. Now he was sure who she was. However, she did not look like the girl he had seen Travahar with. That girl had been very difficult to keep track of and impossible to find alone. Sun Fei, now she often traveled the school alone. Some nobles are just so confident with their sense of security. He shook his head at the girl's stupidity. Nobles were all the same.


	68. Chapter 68: Zuko's Third Eye Chakra

_**Chapter 68: Throat Chakra Challenge**_

The classes went better than Zuko anticipated. Hwa Lan was there to help with the older group and to practice. She had it in her mind that if she and Travahar were to be involved and his life could be dangerous, then she had better be well trained and able to defend herself accordingly. Sun Fei stayed only long enough for the small children to be don their class.

At the end of the children's class, Ty-min threw herself at Zuko and hugged him hard. "I miss you!!!" she wailed.

"I haven't been gone long. And I promise to see you soon," he tried to reassure her not sure why she was being so suddenly fussy.

"Promise?!" She gave him a stern look like he had neglected something important. "You didn't pick me up today like you said you would."

He knelt down feeling a bit guilty, "I promise. I'll come by tomorrow and take out out and about. Maybe even have you stay over. Is it my time again?" Ty-min nodded still cross with him. "Well, I am very very sorry. I will come get you tomorrow morning and take you with me. I swear it on my honor."

Satisfied, Ty-min finally agreed to go back home with Sun Fei who took Ty-min's hand daintily and talked to her all about how to walk like a lady.

The teen class ended so fast with all the training, Zuko hadn't realized the time fly by. He was finally cleaning up the dojo and walking Hwa Lan to the stone tram. Hwa Lan passed a note to Zuko to give to Travahar, "in case you see him before I do." Zuko tucked it into his pocket for later.

Mu-Tan arrived at the dojo with Ling and Bao Li while Zuko was writing up a short report on how the students were in their respective classes. Zuko glanced up briefly as the three men retired to the basement for a few minutes. Bao Li and Ling soon left and Mu-Tan came to sit with Zuko, looking over the pages Zuko had already written.

"You did really well! Do you think you'd like to continue with them?" asked Mu-tan as he casually flipped through the pages of Zuko's commentary.

Zuko's head snapped up at the compliment. Mu-Tan loved to see that glow of pride fill this young man's eyes when he was praised. It is a shame he had not been praised more often. "Can I? I think I really connected with them. It isn't like training soldiers, but then… it isn't all that different either. The little kids are … well… " Zuko failed to find the right words.

"Adorable and attentive and incredibly curious?" offered Mu-Tan. Zuko almost nodded. "Or so very rewarding to teach because they just learn so easily and readily and love you for it?" Zuko's cheeks colored a little. "They are. Well then, from now on they will be your class… under supervision. They are to learn the Hung Gar style. Speaking of styles, you have come to the need of the Hung Gar intermediate training and have learned some of the advanced moves. I want to move on to some basics in other styles."

"What do you mean? Am I going to learn the martial arts of other nations? Why?" Zuko was full of questions.

Mu-Tan coaxed Zuko out onto the mats and asked him to spar. The exchanged a few blows. Then Mu-Tan avoided all of Zuko's attacks for the next several blows with some moves that Zuko remembered the avatar using on him. Finally, Mu-Tan ended the sparring with a move that captured Zuko's own moved and used it against him. Zuko fell through his own blow and was driven past Mu-Tan smoothly till he hit the mat. "What was THAT!?!" Zuko blurted.

"That, my apprentice was using the four nations against you."

Zuko's eyes went wide with interest. He had never considered how the other nation's martial arts blended. There was only that first moment when his uncle had been showing him a couple waterbending moves that were applied to firebending to create new forms. Any curiosity before about the meeting was gone from his head.

"All things are connected, Zuko. Did you see the similarities between the styles?" Mu-Tan inquired.

Zuko shook his head. It had happened so fast. Mu-Tan took Zuko through the moves more slowly as they awaited Iroh's arrival.

Ling came back first and started to set up on his usual corner. Iroh came in shortly after and bowed respectfully to Mu-Tan. Zuko knew the routine now. He went downstairs in search of the next small trunk. It fit in both his hands and amazed him with how small it was. _Where is the table and cushion inside this?_ wondered Zuko. He brought it upstairs with a confused expression in his eyes. He could see Ling settling into the usual corner and his uncle arriving in the background. There was still no sign of Faelin or Travahar. Zuko's stomach growled as he realized he hadn't had anything to eat yet. "You'll have to wait till after," advised Mu-Tan.

Zuko sighed and went to the middle of the dojo mats as Mu-Tan prepared the rest of the room. Zuko ran his finger over the delicate inlay of a deep blue stone with a purple center. There were many small silver dots in concentric circles around the small purple center. Two grainy petals came out from either side and were of a light mauve. He vague thought it looked to have the shape of an eye. Shrugging, he opened the almost purple box. It seemed full of only cloth. As he pulled all the material out, he realized there was a thin sitting mat and the scarves to hang. A crystal rod rolled from the scarves across the mat and Zuko held his breath afraid it would break. Mu-Tan picked it up checking it for cracks and handed it back to Zuko. Zuko let out his breath with relief. There was also a small roll of indigo blue. He unrolled it and found it to be a silk bandanna with an odd bluish-purple crystal in the center. There was also a small vial of oil.

A large crack of thunder almost shook the dojo as a storm rolled in and blew chilly air through the door when Travahar entered with Faelin, both wrapped in cloaks. Zuko was just putting up the tapestries and eyeing them suspiciously. _Is it blue or purple?_ He couldn't tell. He squinted and could almost see a spider web of silver through it. The chill wind ruffled the tapestries and Zuko lost sight of the silver spider webbing.

Seeing Faelin always made a smile touch his lips. She was like a cool touch after a hot fever. After hanging her cloak with Travahar's and ensuring Travahar vabished off to one of the upstairs rooms, she came to take Zuko's hand. The metal band on her wrist reminded him of her lack of freedom. She was here now, though. And he had to use this short time wisely. She led him to Ling and they both sipped some clear cool water. Then she led him back to the sitting mat. She set the small box in front of Zuko. She touched the eye-shaped design on the box and then, once he was sitting and looking at the design, she touched a spot on his brow, almost between his eye. The spot creased. She tried not to snicker. Her little smile was infectious and he smiles a little bit back. Then he closed his es and she drew her hand to cover them. He took a focused and meditative breath, shoving aside his hunger and his questions of how she was and what was coming.

Mu-Tan's voice was clear and deep in the background. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The sixth chakra will be your third eye chakra. It is located between your brows." Mu-Tan came forward and anointed the spot on Zuko's brow with the oil. It was a sharp minty scent, too sharp to be actual mint. "Then breathe and remember the feeling of the open your other five chakras. This oil of rosemary will help clear the path and open your third eye to see." Zuko now understood why the stone inlay was eye-shaped. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?" Again Zuko nodded.

Mu-Tan continued, "Indigo is the color of this chakra and rosemary the scent. The stones are iolite, fluorite and lepidolite." He pointed to each stone on the box as he identified them. Nodding to Faelin, she knelt before Zuko as Mu-Tan took the box away. She wrapped the bandanna over Zuko's brow, setting the small iolite stone in the bandanna over Zuko's third eye. She kissed the stone and Zuko felt a tingling go through him starting from the spot on his brow through all his chakras and into the earth below. He opened his eyes to see Faelin stepping away to take her place, her honey-colored tattoos glowing softly. He could not seem to follow her with his eyes as a strange trance-like feeling held him still and looking forward.

Mu-Tan then knelt before Zuko as Faelin had, the fluorite rod in his hand. "This chakra is also called the light chakra or the chakra of true seeing. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same."

Iroh sat quietly in the background watching the silver threads form links in the tapestries. Zuko frowned as he thought about this. _Illusion of separation… everything is connected… _Then he took in a sudden breath and the silver threads glowed a moment. "There is no separation," Zuko blurted. "We are all one people. We are four nations with different cultures. In some ways we are unique, but deep down… we are all just human… no different than the next person." As the realization sank in he began to understand what the avatar was striving for. He remembered the avatar once asking him if they could be friends, if they were not at war. "This war divides us more than any cultural difference. Were we ever just one nation?" he asked.

Mu-Tan considered the question. "Perhaps once ages ago. But time and space eventually pushed us apart and were grew to be different. The temples were set up by the Air Nomads to bring balance to the land and spirits and supposedly there were other sacred places in the world to bring balance to the people. But this war has indeed divided us badly and many have forgotten that we are all people, human like the next person. The separation we see… is just an illusion we create in our mind and enforce upon others."

"It is WRONG!" Zuko snapped. He clenched his fists and tried to recapture his meditative state. "I will change things…"

"Zuko," came Mu-Tan's gentle voice, "you are one man. One man can start change but more are needed to see it through. The world birthed an avatar to help bring that balance. It is up to the rest of us to help see that it is carried through."

Working with the avatar was still not on Zuko's list of things to do this lifetime. However, he wanted to see some things change. He may not like the avatar, but he could help make change in his own way. _Like maybe removing my father from power or creating a nation where all people can work together irregardless of their nationality._ Wishful thinking, or was he truly starting to see the illusions fading? He looked about the room. People of Fire and Earth were here. He took a deep breath and though back to a moment where he fought his sister alongside the avatar. There people of earth, air, fire and water… benders and non-benders struggled with a single foe, their differences set aside for that one moment. There they acted as one. He pursed his lips tight. Unfortunately, Azula got away. She was bent on manipulation, domination and destruction. Her idea of one people was the annihilation of all other people.

The stress was broken by Mu-Tan placing the fluorite rod in Zuko's hand. To himself, Zuko whispers, "help me to see more clearly, great spirits." He touched the stone on his brow with the point of the fluorite rod. Mu-Tan had nodded as though this was the right course of action. Zuko was not ready for what happened next. The moment the rod point touched the iolite stone at his brow, there was a flash of light. When he opened his eyes next, he was in his bed above the new Tea Shop. His uncle sat beside him with a proud smile on his face.


	69. Chapter 69: Future Laws

_**Chapter 69: **_

Travahar was barely though writing up notes from his meeting by the beach when Faelin came upstairs and tapped on the side of his door of the room above the dojo. His head snapped up in surprise and he almost jumped to a ready fighting stance. He let out a big sigh of relief, for it was only Faelin. "Is it over already? Usually these things go for a little over an hour." Faelin shrugged. She could see he was still deep in his report. She indicated soundlessly that she would be in the other room. "I'll just finish this report and be with you soon. I left the journal on the trunk in there for you. Or you can work more on that gift you were … um… working on before." He wasn't sure what they were, having already forgotten. It was not something of his culture and not high on the priority list of things to remember.

Faelin nodded again and left Travahar to his work. She sat on the sleeping mat alone. She took this opportunity to look around the room from where she sat and remember how the shadows played on the walls. She closed her eyes and listened to the storm outside. She even curled with the blanket there a moment and inhaled the scent of Zuko. It had been a month since they shared this bed mat together and in a similar storm. She longed to share it with him again, to feel his arms around her, to pretend that she was not a slave to some red lantern house and its cruel manager.

She opened her eyes to look at the stone ceiling. Zuko was sometimes stubborn like stone, but far more volatile. He was passionate and willful, determined and unrelenting. He never gave up. And too, she decided neither should she. One day, they will figure out how to be together and be free of this contract that bound her. The frustration of it brought burning tears to stink her eyes. She sniffed and covered her face with her arm, then rolled over and wept quietly for a few moments.

Travahar stood in the doorway about to knock. The band on her arm glinted in the candlelight as her wept into the pillow on the bed mat. He hated this false thing that he knew as slavery. This was one of the reasons why. Good people of great skill and important status could be so reduced to nothing. No one should be or feel like they were nothing. He took a silent step back and walked back into his room. He pulled out the pile of notes on the temples. This was going to be tomorrow's project, for Zuko and for Faelin. He vowed that when he became king, he would abolish this ridiculousness. _No human being should be slave to another. And any servant should be compensated for their work. If they were in debt and were to be indentured, it was to be an arrangement with a deadline for freedom for debt paid in full for service of… maybe a maximum of three years._ He jotted down these notes then walked back over to the room using heavier steps so Faelin could hear him coming and discreetly regain her dignity.

Travahar escorted her back to her red lantern and kissed her rudely where the people working there could see. She went to slap him and gave her a smug grin. "Now now. I paid for this and earned it well." He pulled her close again as she struggled a little. "Shhhh," he whispered in her ear, "Give them a show. It helps our credibility. And don't think I have any intentions. I plan to marry Hwa Lan. Shh. Don't tell Zuko about that yet. One piece of good news at a time. Oh, you may slap me." He smothered her neck in a kiss and she hit him with a loud SLAP! Travahar was glad it was more sound than actual pain. Though, it still stung a bit. She hunkered in her cloak and went inside. Satisfied that the large sumo guard had seen, Travahar called a late night cart to take him home.


	70. Chapter 70: Weight on his Shoulders

_**Chapter 70: Weight on His Shoulders**_

The next morning, Zuko rushed out for morning training then back to where he helped his uncle in the tea shop for a while. He had promised a day with Ty-min. His mind was a little distracted while sitting in one of the children's play parks. She had started to make some friends. Ty-min babbled lightly with excitement at starting school. She was to start very soon. Reminded of this added to Zuko's concerns. While having his day with Ty-min, he took her out to buy some simple clothes for school and some basic writing supplies. "When do I get to live with you?" she asked out of the blue, "like all the time like a real family … like a real girl with a real father."

Part of Zuko was surprised and glad she wanted that and thought of him in that role. Part of him was really hurt that he was falling short not giving her a real family life. And, part of him was a bit angry, "Who told you that you were not a real girl with a real family?" _There was no way she could have come up with that by herself,_ he thought.

"Noori told me that I was not normal because my mommy is gone and my daddy is always away," pouted Ty-min almost on the edge of tears.

He sat on the bench in the park and picked her up into his lap. He wanted to yell at this Noori person. "You are a real girl who is better than normal because you are bright and beautiful and happy even though terrible things have happened in your life. Your mum and dad are gone, but they were still there for you and brought you into this world. Now you have a new family. There are many other daddies out there who are away much more than I am because of the war and there are some who don't give a wit about their children. I may not always be around, but it doesn't mean I don't love you Ty-min." He hugged her hard as she hugged him back.

This did, however, remind him that he had little to offer Ty-min and Faelin. They really needed more than his desire to care for them. They needed actual care. One thing at a time. One breath at a time. That is what his uncle would say. Zuko had to finish his training. He had yet to go through another chakra rite, finish the Hung Gar training and begin the next step in that training, try to win a competition if nothing else but to have the monetary prize at the end, free Faelin from her contract of indentured service, help Travahar get back onto the thrown, support Ty-min and Faelin like a real family, and maybe help the avatar and his friends in his own way to end this ridiculously long war. Then he thought back on his long list while nibbling some noodles in the dojo kitchen, he slumped on the table in a mope. There was so much. Not one single this was a small task.

Mu-Tan leaned on the doorframe a moment observing Zuko before stepping in to get some tea between classes. "This will not do, my young apprentice. Where is your fire gone?"

Zuko looked up without lifting his chin from his arms. He absently stirred the noodles with disinterest. "My fire feels all buried in heavy rocks. Each rock is something I have to do and they are so big and hard to manage."

Mu-Tan understood the metaphor. "One rock at a time, then. First you have to be ready to help with the class. I think your uncle is coming to practice some firebending with you in one of the basement antechambers. So you have to eat and get ready for training. Everything else will fall into place when you are walking the path you choose for yourself."

"Mu-Tan?" curiosity in Zuko's voice, "What happens after I get through all the chakras?"

Mu-Tan replied as he sat with his tea, "You begin learning Tai Chi or Bagua Zhang styles. Then you think about taking vows as Silver Circle. You can take your first vow to BE Silver Circle, but then when you have someone or something or some place to protect, you will swear vows to do so."

"Can I swear to protect Faelin? She is a priestess. You married your priestess that you were protecting. Can I do the same?" the fire was glinting again in Zuko's eyes as the curiosity spurred him to ask Mu-Tan about this path. Some of his life decisions hinged on these answers. Zuko felt that having these answers would help him deal with the heavy load on his shoulders.

Mu-Tan was thinking the same way, and he was very pleased to see the fire rising again in Zuko's spirit. "Yes, indeed you can swear to be Silver Sircle to Faelin. I actually expected you would, considering everything between you two. And you can certainly marry her if that is your inclination and she wishes it as well. Sometimes, that is the easiest way to protect someone. To be that close. Now, finish up and get out on the mats, some students will be showing up soon.

Zuko nodded and stuffed the remainder of his noodles into his mouth.


	71. Chapter 71: Plans in Motion

_**Chapter 71: Plans in Motion**_

After morning practice, Travahar felt like he was ready for the competition. He could hardly believe that it was only two days away. He thought he would be more excited. Hwa Lan came by the morning practice to see how they were doing at the choreographed fight. She watched Travahar with internal wonderment. She could hardly believe he was the rightful king of the Earth Kingdom. She had an even harder time believing that he wanted to marry her. That didn't make it any less true. She waited patiently for the men to wash up. She needed to make sure Travahar cleaned up his image some and started to fit into the role of folk hero for the people, and maybe have Zuko look much softer than the image of the Fire Nation Prince that most people imagined him to be. Her and Sun Fei had been pouring over hero archetype analyses all night and planning like little fiends.

She caught Zuko by the arm was he was leaving. "Lee." She remembered to call him by his disguise name. "You should bring Ty-min to watch you at the competition. I'll be there to root for you and Travahar. I am sure she would like to as well." Zuko agreed as he hurried out. She grinned to herself at how smoothly this was going to come together. She had planned on helping her father at his clinic later today. This was partly to gain the experience with the medical practice more and partly because one of the biggest gossipers was coming in for an appointment. Hwa Lan grinned to herself. She would make a few well placed comments and know that the word would spread before dinner the next day.

"You seem in a good mood," purred Travahar upon seeing her as he leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. He led her upstairs where they poured over the documents on the temples for an hour.

He then took her for lunch in the Middle Ring at a restaurant he had wanted to try. It was right beside the only standing temple in Ba Sing Se. They ate their dim sum by the front window so that they could watch the comings and goings of the caretakers of the temple. Bao-Li walked by to clean the front steps and the posts before returning to the Lower Ring to his regular job. Travahar smirked and tried hard not to snicker. That was not at all what he had expected. Although, it was definitely ingenious. He was certain that he himself could not debase himself like that. They ate and watched, sipped tea and watched, nibbled sweet deep fried banana and watched.

Hwa Lan promised to write up some notes with Sun Fei on this and drop them off in the morning. She had to hurry over to her father's medical clinic.

Travahar wandered back into the Lower Ring with a plan of his own. We entered the red lantern house where Faelin stayed and leered at several of the women wandering around as he waited for service. The desk clerk came back to admit him into the old waterbender's room. Travahar paid the fee for a massage and sauntered in, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Hello, my young noble," came a silky voice from across the room. The older women tucked a long pit into her graying hair, "and what can I do for you today? Tea? Talk? Healing?"

Travahar bowed to her. He never engaged sexually with the women he paid for time from. "A massage perhaps while we talk?"

She gestured him into the bed chamber. He had seen her before for massages and knew the routine. He was not shy with her. He removed his clothing and stretched out on his stomach on the bed. She brought over a basin of water and a cloth. She lit some incense in the room and added the same scented essence to the water. Her technique was to first rinse down the body, then massage it with grapeseed oil, them she would wash the body down again and do a little bit of healing. Her waterbending skill was very minimal. But she did excel at this.

Travahar thought once again that he might hire her permanently in the palace to do just this. She could be extremely wealthy if she had her own clinic in the Upper Ring with a spa. Maybe he would reward her with such a thing when he became king. "I have a challenging request. I need something and I don't know how to get it."

"What is it you need, Travahar?" She worked out the kinks in the muscles of his shoulders.

"I need to see the contract that binds Faelin to this place… and you too… if that is possible."

The woman paused in her work. She resumed in silence for a little while. Travahar was patient. He knew he asked something difficult. "I think I can do that. Do me the favor of hiring me personally to attend your aches at the competition?" She never worked for free.

Travahar sighed. This taking over Ba Sing Se was getting expensive. However, as she rubbed the oil into his body till he almost felt like he would doze off, he decided it was more than worth the expense. "Alright." Now that he got business out of the way, he relaxed more into her skilled hands. _Zuko might benefit greatly from her,_ he thought to himself with a little amusement. _I don't think I have ever seen the Fire Prince relaxed… ever…._


	72. Chapter 72:Secret Behind the Makeup

_**Chapter 72: Truth Behind the Make-up**_

Inside a very plush set of rooms, three Kyoshi warriors relax and remove make-up as they ready for bed. A woman with fiery golden eyes neatly set aside the head gear and fans she had stolen for her disguise. "We have been presented with an extraordinary opportunity, girls."

A second woman with very long dark brown hair tied in a meticulous braid looked over her shoulder with a bright smile touching her large chocolaty-brown eyes. She giggles, "Mai finally gets to wear make-up that's not totally depressing!"

The third woman flashes her a cold look in her dark umber eyes. She wipes the remainder of the make-up off her face and says, deadpan, "ha… ha…."

The first woman walks with regal grace to the window of the main room. She looks out over the Upper Ring and the University. I'm stalking about conquering the **whole** Earth Kingdom." The other two women turn to face her with shocked expressions. The corner of her mouth curls up, "For one hundred years the Fire Nation has hammered away at Ba Sing Se from the outside. But now we are on the inside, and we can take it by ourselves."

"Gosh Azula," says the second woman sincerely, "you are so confident. I really admire that about you."

Azula glanced back at Ty-Lee for the briefest second and back out the window to savor her idea, "From the inside, we're in the perfect position to organize a coup and overthrow the Earth King." She then turned to face her two friend and smiled wickedly, "The key is the Dai Li. Whoever controls the Dai Li, controls Ba Sing Se…."

-----

Far beneath the palace, in the dungeon, a Dai Li agent stopped at a cell and slid a tray of food in for the prisoner. The agent whispered through the slot, "She fell for the trap, sir."

Long Feng picked up the tray of food. "Get rid of her," he said as he delicately put a spoonful of wanton soup in his mouth.


	73. Chapter 73: Learning from Others

_**Chapter 73: Learning from Others**_

Zuko once again helped with the teens' class. Some of the teens who were now fifteen asked if Zuko would be involved at all with any of their rites of manhood. "Me?" he asked dumbfounded that they would even ask him. They were clearly Earth Kingdom boys. Zuko had no idea what this culture did for the rite of manhood. "I… um… I," he stammered, embarrassed and honored at the same time. "I will discuss it with our Sifu." They left after class, content with that answer.

As he sat and ate a light dinner with Ling, Bao Li, and Mu-Tan, Zuko inquired between bites of his sandwich, "What are the rites for boys to men for people here in Ba Sing Se?" The three men looked at him momentarily confused. "Some of the boys in the teens' class are 15 years old and ready to be men. They asked me about it. I didn't know what to say to them," he explained to their bafflement. Sometime Zuko felt odd with this juxtaposition of war outside the walls, ignorance within the walls, hidden deceptions and noble blisses. It sometimes seemed so incongruent.

"If you want to be there, tell them so. That way you van be added to their invitation list. Otherwise, you need not do anything but witness the end of the ceremony." Mu-Tan patted Zuko's shoulder. "That is quite the honor and respect you have earned. You are turning out to be an excellent sifu to them."

"But they are my peers!" Zuko blurted in confusion. "How can I be a sifu to any of them?"

Bao Li sighed as though this should be obvious as he put his dinner away and headed out shaking his head. However, it was Ling who answered Zuko's question. "Age does not define a sifu or a wise person. Experience and patience, willingness to live, learn, listen and teach with compassion do. And a good sifu learns from his students as much as they learn from him."

This gave Mu-Tan an idea, "I want you to name each student and write one to three things you learned from each of them in the course of time you have spent with them, training them. You can do this will I work with the adult group this evening. Then I want to review Hwa Lan's moves with you and Travahar."

Zuko's brow pinched. There was so much to do, to learn, to be ready for. He wanted to be frustrated but could not see why. He took a deep breath and let it out in a grand release of internal futility.

"You'll do fine, Zuko." Mu0tan wanted to be reassuring. He was confident Zuko would do well with whatever challenge came his way. Yet, Mu-tan had to admit to himself that he had yet to learn what the right encouragement or incentive was for Zuko to make him shine like the noonday sun. "Go on now and meditate on your chakras. I'll see you on the mats later."

The room cleared out leaving Zuko alone with his thoughts. He left the dojo for a walk in the chill air as some stray snowflakes drifted from a grey sky. He checked on his apartment and sat in meditation in his bedroom, working through his chakras: root, navel, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye. He even had a mantra for this, "Survival, pleasure, willpower, love, truth, separation of illusion." The last always dragged his thoughts back to the war, the innocent people and soldiers caught in it, and the avatar. _What can I do?_ He thought to himself. _How can I help?_ He thought back over the past four years, realizing how much he had learned and changed. However, there were no answers to his questions. With a heavy sigh, he returned to the dojo to tackle the new task that Mu-Tan had given him.

---

Zuko had nine teens in the class that he taught almost exclusively on his own. He felt strange teaching Earth Kingdom teens Hung Gar Earth Kingdom martial arts when he was Fire Nation and almost a master of Shaolin Fire Nation military martial arts. He always had the urge to teach them his own style, to pass it on to someone.

He knelt in a corner of the dojo while Mu-Tan and Ling taught the early evening adult class. He partly observed the class and partly observed the men teaching and preparing everyone for the junior adult competitions. Tomorrow. Zuko could hardly believe that the competition was tomorrow. He pushed the thought from his mind. He had a task before him that he was supposed to be focusing on.

_What did I learn from the students I was teaching?_ This concept troubled him greatly. He looked up at Ling and Mu-Tan directing students through moves. There was so much he could write that he learned from them, even things he learned from Travahar. He looked down at the black paper in his lap. _What did I learn from whom?_ This puzzled him and his brows knit with a wrinkle. He stared hard at the blank page as if the answers could write themselves. _I was teaching them! How could I have learned something from them? They were learning from me? This exercise makes no sense!_

He huffed his breath. Mu-Tan would not have given him an impossible task. Sometimes he didn't understand the task right away and they sometimes seemed useless, like learning to cook. But in the end, the tasks always proved important and useful. He grew frustrated staring at the vacant surface. The edges of the paper singed a little in his fingers with his frustration.

"NO BENDING IN THE DOJO!" rang Mu-Tan's voice across the room. Zuko jumped in his skin and the paper went up in a fast puff of smoke and flame to powder as ash in his lap. Mu-Tan's eyes snapped from the student he was yelling at to Zuko, meeting his eyes. Zuko's face burned red with humiliation, more so as the other student apologized and other students slowly turned from the disciplined student to Zuko. Zuko tried to look like nothing happened, taking another paper and avoiding eye contact with anyone. He didn't want to be a disruption or distraction in the class. The class returned to sparring while Mu-Tan took the earthbender aside to talk with him.

Once again, he stared hard at his new blank paper. He pursed his lips tight and focused on not incinerating this page. Just so the paper scroll looked less daunting, he wrote down the names of each student, leaving lots of space between each name.

Chan

Huang

Shou

Rin

Lau Yeung

Ichiro

Tsai

Edo

Taitan

He returned to the fourth name remembering the comparison to dance that Rin made when reviewing balance techniques and how they were similar to the techniques she used in her noble's dance class with her private tutor. He realized from Taitan that earthbenders have as much trouble not bending when learning martial arts as firebenders. He had solved this with a breathing exercise he had actually learned from Huang. It was the middle of class time that Huang would pause to do some breathing and again at the end. It became a class routine starting it with a breathing exercise, taking a pause in the middle and closing it with the same breathing exercise. The class moved smoothly like this and the earthbender maintained control.

Once start, he was amazed how easy it was to continue. Zuko even added things he learned about each student. Edo wants to be a district official in the North of Ba Sing Se like his uncle. Lau Yeung loved architecture and planned to go to the University of Ba Sing Se. Ichiro and Tsai were inseparable friends. Chan counted everything, every step and move, the distances and minutes. He was careful with his small change and could evaluate the cost os ever thing someone was wearing at almost a blink. Shou was very shy. He had an extremely overbearing and demanding father. Zuko sympathized. Taitan often passed food to Huang from the large lunchbox his parents gave him. Huang was often hungry, too poor to get food. At the bottom of the scroll, he added that he learned more patience and understanding through teaching this group and how these teens were not unlike him. They struggled with their own lives, the demands upon them, family expectations, hopes, dreams, and disappointments.

Mu-Tan dismissed the class some time ago. Travahar had entered for the evening practice and was meditating facing Zuko, maybe six feet from him. When Zuko finally looked up from writing, he was surprised how much time had passed and how much he had written. He blinked at the scroll of paper in dismay as Travahar craned his neck to see what Zuko had done. "What is that? What were you doing?" Travahar asked curiously.

Zuko then blinked at Travahar feeling a bit of wonderment. "I… am learning how small I am and that no matter how much I learn, there is more to learn. I am discovering that… that you can learn something from every person you meet, work with, and teach."

Travahar reached over and settled his hands on Zuko's shoulders. He looked Zuko in the eyes and smiled. "You will make a great king one day."

Mu-Tan had been watching and listening to the exchange from the kitchen doorway. At Travahar's words, Zuko's whole body relaxed and a smile turned up one corner of Zuko's mouth. _Now then, I just learned something about Zuko. He needs to be complimented now and then, told he is doing well, in order to shine._ Mu-Tan filed that away in his mind for later. He clapped his hands to get the young men's attention.

Zuko stood and brought the scroll to Mu-Tan. "I'm sorry for earlier in the class, Sifu," he apologized. "I promise to keep better control." Mu-Tan nodded his acceptance as he reviewed all that Zuko had written. "Sifu? May I keep it? The scroll?"

Mu-Tan handed it back to Zuko, "of course." They then spent the next hour working through Hwa Lan's choreographed moves for the competition. After quick showers at the end, Travahar departed to get Faelin. Zuko was fidgety. This turned out to be a remarkably good day. He wanted to tell Faelin all about it, wanted to hold her and kiss her. He could not sit still and so paced the dojo as he imagined everything he could about her.


	74. Chapter 74: Crown Chakra Failure

Chapter 74: Crown Chakra Failure

Travahar sauntered back to the Red Lantern house to get Faelin. While he waited for her, he made arrangements for the waterbender to be his personal attendant at the competition. There was curiosity. The fee was very high. Some of the other women tried to encourage him to hire more than one. The night desk clerk smirked and asked if he wanted Faelin as well. He thought about it. "No. I prefer her for more private engagements. You understand, don't you?" The clerk understood perfectly. It would not look good to have a young whore there. They were not, after all, geisha trained for special events. The waterbender was only going as a masseuse.

Faelin arrived, clutching the little book under her cloak. Travahar had left it for her when he visited the waterbender. She had drawn some pictures in it of temples and children playing. She had a lovely scene in it of a city tucked deep in the mountains. She dreamed of it sometimes when she wished so badly to be somewhere else. She also had sketches of Zuko and Travahar and other people she had seen. Her favorite page, though, was one where Zuko had written in it to her. He hadn't seemed to have read anything she wrote. He had mentioned to her once after one of the rites, that he wanted to be with her when he did read it. However, he had slipped in a small note just for her. "The greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fall. By Confucius. Faelin. I love you. Zuko." She was concerned about some things she had written in her secret journal. She was glad now, though, that Zuko had not read it. She didn't want him to worry. He had enough to worry about. Marking the place in the journal where he had written to her was the project she was making for him. She planned to give them to him tonight.

Faelin kept her eyes cast down as Travahar directed her out into the cold night. The earlier bit of snow coated the ground in a thin layer of faded white. As they walked Travahar spoke casually. "There is a temple in the Middle Ring. It is still tended by someone of the Silver Circle. There are however no children there." Faelin stopped walking. "It is the only temple in Ba Sing Se at the moment. Many have become other things, including schools." He sought to reassure her as he could see the shock filling her eyes. "Hwa Lan and I gathering information on them. After the competition, I am going to take… Lee… and look into each one." He was careful not to say Zuko's name in the open. They continued walking about before heading for the dojo. "I can hardly believe that the day is almost over and tomorrow night we will be competing!"

Meanwhile, Zuko was sent downstairs for the last chakra box. He was surprised at how small it was. It was a both small and light. It sat upon the neatly folded banners for this chakra and a flat white cushion. As he came up the stairs, his stomach growled and he remembered that he had missed dinner. He set the bundle in the dojo as Ling and Mu-Tan prepared the space. He walked to the kitchen only to be called back by Mu-Tan, "You need to fast for this chakra, so don't go eating anything just yet. Oh, and you need to change."

"Change?" Zuko wondered if there was specific clothing for this rite that he had somehow missed somewhere.

"This is the chakra of non-attachment," replied Mu-Tan to Zuko's question.

"So… I should… wear nothing?" Zuko was a bit skeptical, since Faelin and Taravahar and his uncle and Ling were going to be on the premises.

Mu-Tan had originally planned to ask Zuko to wear the white training pants he would wear to tomorrow's competition. But, this was an equally good notion. Also, it was the end of these rites. Zuko had a hard time of it and it might be good to tie it into his rite of manhood some like this. "Are you so attached to your clothing and modesty?" Mu-Tan challenged Zuko, who shifted uncomfortably.

Zuko returned to the flat cushion he had placed in the center of the dojo with determination. This was his last chakra. After this, he can properly dedicate himself to Faelin's protection. Besides being Fire Lord, this was the other thing he wanted to be. This was also more possible. Being Fire Lord was not likely to ever happen. He wondered about this a moment. It had been his drive for so long. And yet, now the drive had shifted. Faelin was so very important to him. More than he ever thought. Faelin and Ty-min, his uncle, all suddenly seemed more important that being Fire Lord. He had worked so hard to get to this point in his training. It meant a lot to him. He smoothed out the flat cushion and hung the deep purple banners. The box had no little table. It was made of silver and on the lid was a golden circle. Within the golden circle was a silver circle. Within the silver circle was a multi-facetted amethyst with a tiny diamond center. It made him think of a many-petaled flower, a lotus or a chrysanthemum. When he opened the box his perplexed expression made Mu-Tan grin a little.

Mu-Tan sat across from Zuko to explain, "you are about to do the crown chakra rite." He placed his hand for a moment on Zuko's head, "located here." He then indicated the banners and the box, "the colors are silver, gold, white and violet. The gems are-"

Zuko interjected, "Amethyst, quartz or diamond."

Mu-Tan nodded, "Frankincense, wormwood, lotus and white sandalwood are the related herbs, oils and scents."

Zuko lifted a small vial of sandalwood oil from the box and a small white tea light. "After these, there is nothing in the box… just white sand." Zuko turned the box to show Mu-Tan. "It doesn't make sense."

"I said before that this chakra is about non-attachment. You have seen that each box had fewer and fewer items. This chakra requires very little of the material world." Mu-Tan smiled patiently. "Now change out of your clothing."

Zuko felt awkward as he removed his clothes and piled them neatly beside the cushion. His rite of manhood was nude too, but that only had his uncle and Mu-Tan present. Here Ling was also present, and his uncle was just arriving. Faelin would be here too and Travahar would be passing through. He felt exposed and a bit vulnerable. He wanted to snatch his clothes again and hide. His face burned red as he knelt on the flat white cushion. It took a few moments to calm his embarrassment. This was a rite of non-attachment. He didn't need anything but his bare self. He let out a heavy breath, ready to begin.

Mu-Tan nodded in approval, partly for Zuko's understanding and partly for Zuko's willingness to set aside his inhibitions, to let go. This is an important concept for this rite, letting go. The red faded from Zuko's face as he breathed and settled into meditation. Iroh nodded to Mu-Tan as he was let in and went to sit on the bench near the changing rooms in the opposite corner of the dojo to Ling. Zuko glanced up at his uncle briefly. He hoped his uncle was proud of him. He knew his father would never understand. He closed his eyes and let go of any ties to his father. There was no point. That caused a bit of pang inside. He was not sure if it was pain, loss or anger. I am not the man you wanted, father. Not the boy you thought I was. I have grown up into a better man that you could see. I don't need you. Neither do our people, but I will deal with that… later. Zuko took another deep breath. Travahar entered with Faelin. He quickly shielded his eyes from the sight of Zuko and hurried to the rooms upstairs and out of the way. Again Zuko's cheeks burned and remained burning as Faelin approached him, a secret smile on her lips. She knelt a moment before Zuko and slipped the carefully woven bands from her journal. Zuko watched her every move, wondering if he could hold her and kiss her and yet felt embarrassed to do so because of his nudity and the people around them. She tied the bands around his biceps. The threads were black and gold. He opened his mouth to say something, but her fingers pressed against his lips to quiet him. She stood and moved past him to her place and Mu-Tan took his place again a few feet in front of Zuko.

Mu-Tan spoke as he did for each rite. It was ritual. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The last chakra will be your crown chakra. It is located at the top of your head. Sit comfortably. Then breathe and remember the feeling of the open root chakra. Pull up that energy and feel it fill you, lending you stability. Pull the energy into your navel chakra and fill yourself with confidence. Pull the energy into your solar plexus and fill yourself with inner strength. Pull the energy into your heart chakra and fill yourself with love. Pull the energy into your throat chakra and fill your self with truth. Pull the energy into your third eye and let light fill you and allow you to see that everything is one." Zuko breathed through each chakra as he had done so at home and on his own. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

As a way of saying he was ready, Zuko took a deep breath to clear away the distractions. Ling stood and created a circle of salt around the interior perimeter of the dojo.

Faelin came forward now and knelt close in front of Zuko. He wondered what she was going to do. She silently picked up the vial of sandalwood oil and poured some into her hands. She held his eyes a moment as she tattoos glowed to a warm honey color. Then she reached down and anointed his root chakra. He sucked in a surprised breath to her delicate touch down there. She anointed his navel chakra. His heart sped up as his body reacted, an erection clear. His face burned as he tried desperately to will his body to relax. She paid no attention to the erection and anointed his solar plexus. His body calmed obediently. She anointed his heart. Their eyes met over a pause that a thousand thoughts wanted to leap the chasm of their silence. She smiled. She wanted to say something. So did he. She anointed his throat chakra. "I love you, Faelin," he whispered seriously. She bit her lip really wishing to say something. She nodded to him and took a deep breath herself to keep her focus. She anointed his third eye. She knew what was coming and wished she could reassure him. However, it was not her place to do so. He had to come to the understanding on his own. She was only supposed to monitor the energy, balance the spirit forces around them and maintain the sanctity of the space. She poured a bit more oil into her hands and ran her fingers through his hair, resting then on the top of his head a moment. He closed his eyes and bowed his head to her as she did this. He felt each chakra as though warmth and light filled them. Faelin then stood and walked the few steps to take her place behind him once more.

Mu-Tan asked Zuko to set the little candle at arm's length in front of him. Zuko did so and lit it. "Now look to the banners," Advised Mu-Tan as he caught Faelin's eye. She nodded. Her tattoos again took on that honey glow, though stronger. With each breath, she focused. A symbol shimmered with her spirit-bending on all the banners. He had never seen the banners do anything before. Then again, he was always in some kind of trance before. "Look to the banners, Zuko," Mu-Tan said again. Zuko stared still amazed at the symbol on the banners as Mu-Tan spoke. "That is the symbol of universal energy. Use the sand in the box to create the symbol on the ground around the candle… like a sand mandala."

Zuko had seen some sand mandalas in his travels but thought they were ridiculous because the wind and people walking would always ruin them. He thought they were a waste of time. He also though they were incredibly beautiful and complex and that it would be impossible for him to do. This symbol at least was much simpler, sort of. Zuko stole a glance over his shoulder at Faelin, but her eyes were closed in meditation. He remembered the first time he saw her tattoos through her window. She was so beautiful then, and still was. He pulled his attention from her when his mind wandered and his body betrayed his thoughts. With reddened cheeks, he took up a handful of the white sand from the box. He felt silly trying to do art on the floor with sand. The symbol proved moiré complex that he had expected. He kept trying to fix the design with a frown of mild frustration. When it was clear he erred, Mu-Tan would lean forward and wipe it away with his hand and earthbend the sand into the floor.

Then he would ask Zuko to start again. When Zuko grew very frustrated, he sat back of his own accord and breathed through each chakra, calling up calm and focus, calling up the energies of the other chakras for as much balance as he could. Mu-Tan smiled approval at Zuko's initiative and ability to induce his own state of trance. It took the better part of the next hour before Zuko completed the sand pattern on the floor. "That is the symbol for the crown chakra. Each chakra in our bodies has a purpose and can be blocked by a certain kind of emotional hindrance. The crown chakra deals with self and awareness, thought, cosmic or divine energy. It is blocked by worldly attachments." Mu-Tan's voice was deep and smooth, guiding as it has always been in these rites. "Think of the things you are attached to. Are you attached to this design?"

"No," Zuko simply replied.

Mu-Tan leaned over with his hand above the sand symbol. Zuko took in a tense breath, afraid Mu-Tan would destroy the hard work he had put into creating it. "No permanence." Mu-Tan met Zuko's eyes. "No attachments. Everything is connected, one, and changes. You must let go of the need to cling to things. Let go of notions you cling to, of objects, of patterns, of people. They are already part of you. You can let them go." Zuko breathed, and let go the old need to be Fire Lord. He breathed and let go of the need to please his father of regain honor in his father's eyes. These were remarkably easier to let go of than he thought. They were, in a way, things he already gave up on. Mu-Tan pressed his hand into the sand and swept it across the pattern. Zuko's jaw dropped.

Before Zuko could protest, Mu-Tan asked, "Can you still go through your chakras?" Zuko frowned, but nodded trying to breathe through each one… root, navel, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye. "Can you picture the pattern for the crown chakra in your mind?"

"Of course!" snapped Zuko. "I just spent over an hour making it from that stupid sand before you destroyed it!"

Maintaining a mild tone despite Zuko's outbursts, Mu-Tan explained, "Then it is a part of you and you need not be attached to the actual sand on the floor." Zuko considered this, struggling with the notion. "What else are you attached to? What holds you to this physical world?"

Zuko's eyes closed as he pictured Faelin in his mind and allowed it to bring forth love and comfort. He ached to hold her. He heard Mu-Tan move and tensed as Mu-Tan spoke, "let her go…"

Zuko's head snapped up as he glared at Mu-Tan. His voice cracked like a whip against stone. "NO!" Dangerous silence stretched in the dojo. "No… I will not let her go. I just found her. We've… no. I want her to be part of my life forever. I am not going to let her go now. No!" He stood and stormed around the room as he yelled at Mu-Tan. Zuko kept on shouting, "Three chakras ago you told me to hold onto that which brought so much into my life, hold onto love! And now I have to let it… her… go?! NO!!" ke kicked the cushion and the little candle. Faelin struggled to keep the spiritual balance in the room. Ignoring his own nudity, he dropped down beside her as Mu-Tan stood. Fierce fire shone in Zuko's eyes as they boldly met Mu-Tan's. Ling tightened his fist around his bo staff, but Iroh reassured him with a quiet gesture. Zuko was concerned that Mu-Tan would take Faelin from him, destroy the small delicate bond between he and her like he destroyed the sand pattern.

Faelin took a slow deep breath, the glow faded from her tattoos. Mu-Tan shook his head, "This rite is over. We'll try again after the competitions." His stern tone signaled a dismissal to Ling who packed things in his corner and left.

Iroh didn't really understand what was going on, but understood that this was a failure to complete this chakra rite. Part of him was disappointed in Zuko. Part of him wondered if he could have succeeded if he were in Zuko's place. Iroh concluded that he would not have been able to let go either. He went with Ling to the kitchen and made tea. Mu-Tan soon joined them, as did Travahar who came down to see what the yelling was about. Mu-Tan had first cleaned up the chakra box items and took them to the basement before sitting with the other men for tea.

Zuko was left alone with Faelin, his arms around her as he fought tears that burned in his eyes. Her expression was a mix of longing and disappointment. He searched her eyes for answers. She could express none. She touched the armbands she made for Zuko. She wanted him to know that she was always with him, that letting go was not giving up. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered and he held her close, heartache lacing his words. His distress shut out any discomfort he might have of being so exposed. She had after all seen him nude a few times, in private and in ritual. He wished he could go back to those nights close to the winter solstice when they shared his bed in the room above during the terrible storm. She stroked his head and back, soothing him. Her tattoos shimmered just a little as she tapped into his chakras and smoothed the tension in them.

The other men sipped tea quietly and discussed the upcoming competition till Faelin came into view in the doorway with Zuko close behind. Travahar stood, his eyes meeting Zuko's. "Time to take her back," Travahar said flatly. Now clothed, Zuko nodded and stepped aside to let Travahar pass and guide Faelin out of the dojo.

Failure was heavy in Zuko's voice, "Now what do I do?"

Iroh wanted to just hold his nephew who seemed so like the small hurt thirteen year old he walked into exile with. Mu-Tan handed Zuko a cup of tea, "You rest and thing about it. You focus on what you have chosen to do tomorrow in the competitions and we will talk about it after." Zuko stared into his cup without sipping it. "Zuko, It is not over. This is a hard concept to work through. You have pushed yourself very hard doing these rites one night after another."

Ling interjected, "Usually Silver Circle do these rites one month apart…. To give time to sort through the meanings. You are in such a rush."

"I don't have a lot of time," Zuko sipped the tea as he found his courage in the duties of what he needed to do. I have to take care of Ty-min. I have to free Faelin. I have to fight my father however I can to end this cruel war… before he ends the world with it. "I don't have a lot of time," he repeated firmly. They all nodded understanding the deeper meaning that they all felt. War was coming to Ba Sing Se. It was in the wind. They just did not know exactly when or how.


	75. Chapter 75: Competition

_**Chapter 75: Competition**_

Zuko rose sharply with the sun the next morning as a trickle of sweat cooled on his chest. He had been dreaming of the Agni Kai he failed at when he faced his father. _Today is NOT like an Agni Kai. No one is going to be hurt or killed._ The notion in some ways felt strange… to fight for good hits and to control one's self not to do permanent harm. It was a challenge to prove how good you were and to show restraint at the same time. In the military, he was simply taught to defeat by whatever means, though he did prefer honorable fights. This will be more challenging, require more focus and control. He also had to keep Hwa Lan's choreography in mind, too. It was a ploy to bring awareness of the nations and the war to the people and that friends could be found even on the enemy side. Also, Travahar was beginning his debut in the public eye. With luck, it will help people slowly warm to him and ease the way to him regaining his rightful place as ruler. What made Zuko nervous were the names, Huo Long and Leu Long. It was almost like announcing who they really were to the whole of Ba Sing Se… and that the real dragons were going to be present, the Dragon of the East (Mu-Tan) and the Dragon of the West (Iroh). He worried whether anyone will notice and if it will end this competition before it even began.

All this he mulled over as bathed and dressed in his new uniform. He neatly packed the other uniform for the later part of the competitions when they did the "show". Before pulling on his shirt, he touched the braids around his upper arms that Faelin had made for him. He didn't finish tying his shirt when a bright laughing and squealing child impacted with his legs knocking him onto his bed mat. "I win! I pinned you!" shouted Ty-min with glee.

Zuko had to laugh. Her joy was contagious and banished his foreboding. "So you did! But was that really fair? You took me from behind when I was not ready."

"How could you NOT be ready?!? I made enough noise!" she defended.

He had to give in to that. She did make enough noise that he should have expected her to tackle him with a hug. He hugged her back, lifting her as he stood and carried her out to the main room where his uncle prepared breakfast. He didn't realize Ty-min was being dropped off so early, but was glad she had been. They sat on a mat and meditated together till Iroh called them to the table.

The morning competitions were for the children and beginners. Zuko gave Ty-min pointers all the way to the competition arena in as large complex of the University. He spotted Travahar setting up with Mu-Tan and coaching some of the other selected children. There was an older woman there that reminded Zuko of… Katara. She had the same olive complexion and sea blue eyes. She was also dressed in a uniform that identified her as from a red lantern house; the very one Faelin came from. Zuko's eyes quickly darted about to see if he could spot Faelin. She was not there. He sighed a long slow sigh. Then he pursed his lips. Zuko thought it was very rude of Travahar to bring such a woman here. What about Hwa Lan? Did he not respect her? What about the honor of what they were trying to do today for Travahar? He was already undermining it. Ty-min dashed over to talk with her classmates and taunt some children from another martial arts school.

Zuko walked with firm steps planning on giving Travahar a piece of his mind when Hwa Lan showed up handing the woman a basin of water and setting up some first aid supplies. He blinked in confusion. _Maybe I am misinterpreting this?_ As he came closer he overheard Mu-Tan say to the older woman that the common injuries in the children are wrist and ankle sprains and the occasional nose bleed. Travahar approached Zuko and shook his hand firmly. They chose a bench out of the way to watch the morning competitions and guide their students. Zuko wondered where Sun Fei was. Usually her and Hwa Lan were inseparable, especially if there was social scheming involved. Maybe she was showing up only when the adult competitions started.

-----

The morning, though cool was bright as the sun splashed across the front steps of the inner building of the Royal Palace. A pair of Dai Li agents was carefully hidden in the shadows near the ceiling. The spied two Kyoshi warriors on the steps and slid down the pillars to eavesdrop, but not far enough to be seen from that angle. Azula, still and silent like a deadly predator remains in her shadow where she in turn spies the Dai Li.

Mai, still dressed like a Kyoshi warrior sits on the top step, head tilted as she sighs morosely. Ty Lee stands nearby and leans back till her hands touch the floor close to her toes. "I'm tired of wearing this girly disguise," complained Mai as she plucked her clothing with annoyance. "I don't know how anyone can fight in this."

From Ty Lee's position, she looked at Mai upside down. "Maybe that's why it was so easy to beat the Kyoshi warriors and take their clothes." Her light tone reminded Mai of a child coming up with possible reasons to an odd problem.

Mai rolled her eyes. "How much longer do we have to serve the Earth King? If I have to pick up one more pile of bear poop, I'm gonna throw up."

Ty Lee stood up proper again and raised her hands above her head in a long languid stretch. She then gave may a look, the kind that indicated that Mai ought to know the answer to this already. "Princess Azula promised we could go back to the Fire Nation as soon as we capture the Avatar. We just have to be patient."

"Shush up!" snapped Mai. "Do you want the whole palace to know we're Fire Nation?" her voice more hushed as she stood and was nearly nose to nose with Ty Lee.

Ty Lee backed up a step shrinking back with one shoulder. "Sorry," she whispered.

The Dai Li agents made eye contact with each other and a brief set of hand gestures were exchanged. They nodded and climbed back up the pillars. This was crucial information and they were going to make sure the right people knew about it.

Azula casually watched from her hiding spot as the Dai Li agents scuttled away like roaches in a flash of light. The corner of her mouth twitched up in a lop-sided evil grin that mirrored her father's so very well. She made a final glance to the roof before stepping out where Mai and Ty Lee could see her. "Good work girls. I am sure the Dai Li will deliver the message."

-----

By lunch, Ty-min had earned one medal out of ten for her age and level. Zuko was proud and told her so. She beamed and strutted about like a little peacock-deer. She stayed with Zuko throughout lunch till Iroh showed up. Then his uncle took Ty-min's hand so Zuko could warm up for his own solo and team matches (partnered with Travahar).

As a team, Zuko was the fast distraction teasing the opponent closer to Travahar. Once Travahar could get hole of his opponent with Zuko still distracting them into defense, that was it, Travahar would pin them and win the match.

Alone, Zuko was formidable, fast, but not quite the best at the Hung Gar. He was a fierce and calculating fighter. He was always on the move. Even though he restricted himself to the Earth Kingdom moves, he was rarely not in motion. He danced and bounced and dodged. He leapt and rolled away from grappling fingers or large-fisted strikes. His lithe figure made him a small fast pygmy panther or deadly firecat, not that people in Ba Sing Se would ever really know the fast fierce feline. His opponents often yelled at him in frustration to STAND STILL or called him a chickenpig for dodging. Four out of five opponents still left growling in defeat just the same.

Now and then Zuko and Travahar would glance into the crowds. Iroh sat with an excited and squirming Ty-Min. Zuko thought his uncle looked like a doting grandfather with the little girl on his knee. The scene distracted Zuko that it took Travahar's firm shove to alert him that his name was called for another match.

His next opponent made a painful mistake that cost him a place among the semi-finalists. He taunted Zuko about his armbands, "Haha! You trying to scare us with a Fire Nation name and silly arm bands? Huo Long! HAHA! I've been to the border… I've seen nothing FIERY in your moves all afternoon!"

Zuko's temper ran thin and he switched from the Earth moves of Hung Gar to the Fire moves of Northern Shaolin by his third strike and pinned the man a few minutes later, fire dancing dangerously in his eyes. "You know nothing of fighting a real border fight," snarled Zuko so quietly only his defeated opponent heard. Then he sprang back off him and walked broodingly to Travahar's side. His opponent clearly rattled by the experience.

"Was that necessary?" Travahar asked calmly.

"Yes," was Zuko's curt response.

"Well, you've certainly stirred attention and created minor earthquakes among many folks," commented Travahar. "Good thing it is close to breaking for dinner. It's a good time to make the change." Travahar caught Hwa Lan's eye to confirm the timing and she nodded.

The standard adult uniform for Mu-Tan's school was black pants and light green shirts with the logo embroidered on the chest, shoulder, or back. Travahar removed this light green shirt to reveal and thin and sweat-soaked dark forest green shirt underneath. On the black was a paler vibrant green dragon of the school's logo. Hwa Lan claimed his over shirt and waited for Zuko's. She gave Travahar an encouraging kiss. The afternoon was busy and intense and Travahar had taken a few hard hits to his shoulder. He was so thankful he had the waterbending healer with him and sat now for her ministrations while Zuko removed his over-shirt. Underneath was a similarly thin and sweat-soaked shirt of a dark burgundy red. The back shows the school's logo with a fiery orange dragon instead of the green one. Zuko turned his head away from Hwa Lan and Travahar's public display of affection. She claimed Zuko's over-shirt after the kiss and glanced to the crowds, I haven't seen Sun Fei yet. She was doing research on something this morning that had her too excited. She'll be here for the evening competitions unless she's too engrossed in her research. Huo Long time." She patted Zuko's back indicating the change he made and hoped her smile was as encouraging as the kiss she gave Travahar. She knew, though, that Zuko would have felt better if his own girlfriend was there.

The changes in uniform, while permissible, gained some sharp and curious looks from both the crowd and the competition officials. Hwa Lan threaded her way through the crowd to sit near Iroh and Ty-min and encourage cheering and chanting of HUO LONG! LEU LONG! Travahar and Zuko walked side by side out onto the mats to line up with the other semi-finalists. They all bowed honorably to the judges, to the referees, to their teachers, and then to the crowd. Now they could break for food and stretches.

-----

The shadows of the passing hours fell across the stacks of books and scrolls that surrounded Sun-Fei in the library. She had become so engrossed in her studies, in the research she was doing for Zuko, that she had completely lost track of time. It was only as the candle at her table guttered and went out that she realized how late it had gotten.

"Oh no! I'm going to be late to the tournament!" she exclaimed, and began to quickly gather up her books, scrolls and notes. _And just wait until Zuko sees what I found out about his family lineage! No one is going to believe this!!_ Her mind was still a-whirl with all her new-found knowledge.

She became slowly aware that the library was silent, too silent even for this great place of study. She paused, looking around as her heart began to pound just a little faster. _Where has everybody gone?_

It was to be her last thought.

Her body fell forward across the table almost gracefully as she dropped her books and scrolls. Her blood stained them red, causing the ancient inks to run and fade, taking the mystery of that new knowledge with them, lost for all time, as her breathing ceased, and the light in her eyes went out.

Sun-Fei, graceful swan of the courts of Ba Sing Se, was dead.

The Dai-Li agent who had killed her silently collected some of the books and scrolls from around her body, and then climbed up a rope into the rafters and made his way out, undisturbed.

_There is a price for knowing too much._

-----

The two young dragons sat with Hwa Lan to review the evening's plans while they munched a light meal. Mu-Tan stood over them listening and giving pointers and reminders. The Dragon of the West came down to greet and congratulate them. As Iroh approached, Ty-Min wriggled from his arms and he set her into Zuko's lap. She gingerly nibbled off of Zuko's plate chatting as she recounted the entire afternoon. Dragon of the East faced Dragon of the West and bowed respectfully to one another. Zuko shot cautious glances at the older men, worried what people would start to think and if he was at risk of being arrested.

At his third cautious glance, Ty-min demanded Zuko listen to her. "Are you proud of me, Daddy?!" she asked clinging to her small medal.

_Daddy?_ Zuko blinked, stunned. She honored him by calling him Daddy. _Do I deserve the honor? Will I be as bad father to her as mine is to me? She called me… Daddy… _A large lump developed in his throat and prevented him from speaking for several minutes till she asked again. "Yes, Ty-min," he said a bit hoarsely around the lump, "I am very proud of you." She beamed and hugged him. What a difference it would have made in his own life had his father said he was proud of Zuko… at least once. He sighed, letting go of that pain and letting Ty-min's love replace it. She quickly wriggled in his lap to face the others again and chattered some more.

The Earth King was moving among the many contestants. He was surrounded by 3 Dai Li agents to protect him. Travahar spotted him coming their way and felt it best to go into a private back room for a full massage from his waterbender. The young man approached Zuko and Mu-Tan as Iroh coaxed Ty-min to come with him to get some more food. He wanted to stay, so proud of Zuko that the Earth King himself was coming to see them, but this was Zuko's honor. So he bowed out to let his nephew bask in this small glory. If only he knew what Zuko knew about the Earth King. Zuko kept his eyes downcast though stole glances as he assessed the Dai Li and the king. The Dai Li looked very elite. He would have to watch them more for a better understanding of how they reacted, to know their strengths and weaknesses better. They are supposed to be the best earthbenders in the world. They actually didn't look like much to him; however, he didn't look like much to his opponents till they lay face down on the mats. Zuko knew better than to make a snap assessment. The King, however, was clearly not a fighter in any way. Zuko could tell by the way he walked and talked to people. He completely trusted the Dai Li to protect him and was completely oblivious to possible dangers. The little glasses slid down the king's nose often and had to be pushed back into place. Zuko concluded that the information was accurate about this king. The king was a yuth and a scholar and not really a king at all. Zuko wondered if the king would recognize his cousin Travahar this close up and was glad Travahar made himself scarce just in case.

The break was all too short. The Earth King was once again out of sight. Zuko stretched and went thru some quick Hung Gar Katas as a way to make people thing he was predominantly Hung Gar trained. Then he hung back in a kneeling meditation pose. He used the subtlest firebending to keep his muscles warm and ready while he watched his opponents. Travahar's waterbender did a final check before she took her leave. Travahar tried to convince her to stay. However, despite the large tip he offered, she refused. Her reason was that a woman at the red lantern house needed her attention. That made both young dragon annoyed. It meant that either a girl was pregnant or hurt or both. Zuko returned his stoic attention to his opponents who were now warming up or showing off. His military training in his mind, he was assessing strength, weaknesses, and favored styles. He memorized faces and moves. He planned. He had to win all fights till he was against Travahar. He was to play off as his adversary like Fire against Earth. Even make a show of that when they fought as a team. It was to make people think that they were actually personal enemies, like the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, till people could start to root for one or the other. They would root for Travahar and the Earth Kingdom of course. Zuko hated this kind of charade. He wasn't good at pretending, never really was. That was more Azula.

And so the choreography and plan moved into motion through the night.

-----

Two Dai Li grip Kyoshi warrior dressed Azula at each arm as they escort her through secret corridors of the palace into the dungeon. They pass several steel holding cells. For the briefest moment she considered if what she had done earlier was a mistake and this was the end for her. She struggled and kicked. They held her firm having managed to catch her off guard. That was a rarity and she was as furious with them as she was with herself. They finally stop at a particular cell where she is brought into it to face a man sitting on a plain cell bench in his cell.

The man looked up at her with an evil slow smile. She was outraged as she spat at Long Feng, "What is this about! Your agents show up in the middle of the night and drag me down here? You will not treat a Kyoshi warrior this way!" She struggled against her captors, yet unable to free her hand to bend them into smoldering ash. They interrupted what she hoped would be a great distraction. She was planning on catching the tail end of the martial arts competition. With a name like Huo Long floating on the list, she wanted to see what that was all about. This, insulting abduction made her very angry.

"But you are not a Kyoshi warrior, are you?" Long Feng's sinister voice earned him a penny of her respect. He rose from the bench. "Princess Azula of the Fire Nation!"

This was definitely not in her plans. As soon as she could figure out how, she intended to make this man pay… dearly… for manhandling her. Azula stopped struggling. "What do you want?"

Long Feng's voice dropped low and quiet, "I want to make you a deal. It's time that I regain control of Ba Sing Se. And you have something I need."

"Oh?" Azula filled that sound with as much vemon and sarcasm as she could.

Long Feng leaned into her a bit. "The Earth King's trust."

"Why should I help you?" she asked warily, narrowing her eyes.

Long Feng's smile glinted with victory. "Because I can get you the Avatar."

Azula's smile mirrors Long Feng's. "I'm listening."

-----

No one noticed the quick Dai Li team that cleaned up the library and moved the body of a dead girl to another location. Everyone was focused in the arena for the competitions.

The single combats of the competitions were much more competitive and fierce, yet Mu-Tan's two finest pupils held their own and endured with more grace than he had hoped. He was concerned that Zuko would lose his temple and was greatly relieved to see him sit between fights and breathe through the six chakras he had successfully connected with.

All went according to plan, Travahar and Zuko defeated their opponents. They had calculated things carefully and reached the semi-finals. The plan was for them to reach the semi-finals in both the solo and the team fights. Then the careful choreography that Hwa Lan helped develop would begin to play out. In fact, it already started. Zuko and Travahar would occasionally poke fun and taunt one another. Their jibes followed the politics of the day with regard to earth and fire and the associated nations. The jibes to Zuko were even starting to pick up in his opponents who insulted him for his choice of fire despite training in the Earth Kingdom's capital. How dare he show fiery Shaolin moves? How dare he wear such abhorrent colors? How dare he claim to be a dragon, a fire dragon at that!? Earth shall smother fire behind these great walls, some hollered as they implied they would beat Zuko. However, they were all defeated just the same. Even in team fights, Travahar and Zuko endeavored to show conflict between each other, building to the great choreography.

Zuko bowed to his opponent as he glimpses Travahar defeating his own in the next ring. He reminded himself that he had to lose this fight so Travahar would fight and win as champion of the solo fights. Or was he? He lost track. Earth had to appear to have defeated Fire. Zuko stepped back and a low wide stance, arms out like the dragonhawks in flight as his opponent charged like platypusbear. This was a much larger opponent. Zuko was fast and knew that if his opponent got hold of him, he would be defeating in a crushing blow. He took a risk and stepped in closer, catching his opponent's hand and like lighting his foot kicked high to connect with his opponent's ear. Staggering back the near champion was furious. "You deceitful dog of fire. You dare attempt to be champion. You are weaker than a woman, weak… like the Fire Lord's wife that he did away with. As I will do away with you!" his fist hit Zuko hard in the chest, sending him sprawling back several feet to catch his breath. When Zuko looked up, fire danced in his golden eyes. _My mother was never weak. She sacrificed herself for me because my father was dishonorably stealing the thrown from my uncle and going to kill me for it. She was stronger in spirit and you have no right to speak of her!_ Zuko dropped most of his Hung Gar learning in favor of the Shaolin and attacked the man like a true enemy. His fury was like an inferno as his opponent fall back and begged mercy. Zuko stood over the man, chest heaving. It was several minutes before he heard the shouts of the judges declaring him the winner of the match. He frowned as he stepped back. He quickly scanned about to see if his loss of temper included firebending, thus giving away who he really was. He held his breath as he searched for his own betrayal. No scorch marks marred the mats. He let out his breath in relief. Mu-Tan came forward and lead him back to a bench. Zuko sat, closing his eyes and slowly breathing through his chakras.

Travahar was quietly furious with Zuko. "How could you? You lost you temper. Lost it. Our plans…"

"Hush Trav," interjected Hwa Lan. "We can work with this. The plan doesn't change. It works perfectly. He WAS supposed to win, remember?" They conferred in harsh whispers, joined soon my Mu-Tan who brought fresh water and encouragement.

Observing the clean-up and changing of the mat arrangements were the king and the Kyoshi warriors. The three warriors sat just now with the king to watch the final rounds and discover the champions of this competition that they considered a farse compared to real fighting. Agni Kai's were true battles… to the death. This was almost ridiculous as far as Azula was concerned, till Mai nudged her and pointed down at a small group, "is that… your… brother?" Azula's eyes went wide, and then narrowed as she quickly sought for her uncle in the crowd. She then leaned back in her seat, plans rolling in her mind as she continued to watch Mu-Tan and the small group of men and women from that school of the Lower Ring.

Two more team fights were to take place to determine the finalists in that field. That would be followed by the solo fight for the finalists and then the final team fight. The team fight ws close. Travahar and Zuko bickered as they tried to function as a team. Mu-Tan wasn't even really sure if they were following the choreography or really bickering. He knew they had a long standing personal quarrel, even though they seemed top be friends. It was hard to tell. He had to trust that they would not lose their cool. It couldn't happen again. As it was, Huo Long was really starting to earn the crowds belief that he represented the Fire Nation, just as Travahar was starting to earn the belief that he represented the Earth Kingdom. It was like a play out of the actual war that was not really permitted to be discussed within the walls of Ba Sing Se. The crowd cheered for them as such. As a team the crowd encouraged the internal quarrel. Their win of the semi-final team match was narrow.

The crowd was a cacophony of noise and cheering and snipes when Travahar and Zuko came face to face as the finalists in the last solo fight. Hwa Lan walked with them to the mats talking quickly in their ears. They weren't supposed to face each other in single combat. Zuko's temper got the better of him and won him a match he was supposed to lose. Now he had to face Travahar. The crowd booed at Huo Long and cheered for Leu Long as they stepped onto the mats. Azula snickered, _Huo Long… he hasn't defeated any dragons to earn that title._ Then she thought about it and looked harder at Iroh. He was a Dragon. Dragon of the West. Ba Sing Se also had a dragon. Dragon of the East… Mu-Tan. Maybe Zuko defeated him in formal combat when she wasn't looking. _No, they are just using the names for political intrigue. I can play this game._

As she encouraged the Kyoshi warriors to leave, ignoring Tai Lee's whining to see who won, he returned to the palace to plan. She had a coup to plan before she planned Zuko and Iroh's demise. _How fitting it was to have the family here AND the avatar and his friends. I will take Ba Sing Se, wipe out the threat of the avatar, and eliminate two traitors. It will ensure my rise as heir. Then… When father is gone, I will rule the world._

Travahar and Zuko drew out their fight, making a good show of the fancy moves they know. It was exciting watching, like watching two dragons battle it out. LEU LONG! LEU LONG! LEU LONG! The audience chanted. Sweating and exhausted, Zuko made his first mistake. He didn't want to make it. He wanted to defeat Travahar. But there were bigger things at stake. He can fight Travahar another day if he wanted to prove himself against him. Zuko stepped in, to catch Travahar's wrist and use that kick move he had used before. Travahar was ready for it. He pulled Zuko's closer and off balance into a bear-hug where he then slammed him to the floor and would not let him up. Zuko could hardly breathe. Just as Zuko started to see spots and the judge declared Travahar the winner, he was released and a rush of air filled his lungs. He pulled himself up and aimed to punch Travahar in the face. He took several breaths considering this. Breathed through his chakras and then with more grace than any loser on the mats bowed formally to Travahar and declared for all to hear, "Huo Long admits defeat to Leu Long this day. From this day forward, I will fight with you as your ally and your friend. Fire need not always be the enemy of earth. The world needs all four elements to maintain balance. This I swear on my honor, for my honor is my life." Even Travahar was stunned by this. Hwa Lan said for Zuko to say something honorable in his defeat. None of them thought he would swear an aoth like that before so many. Mu-Tan whispered in his mind, _Honor is the Law and Love is the Bond. Perhaps, young fire prince; you are seeing this and remembering who you are._

After they won the final team fight, the cheering was actually for both dragons, Huo Long and Leu Long. They received the golden medals of that years competitions. They bowed to the judges, then to the crowds, and then to their teachers. Before leaving the mats, they bowed to each other. Hwa Lan smiled to herself, _the seeds are planted in the minds of the people. Well done._ She looked about with mild annoyance that Sun Fei had missed the end of the competitions. Well, it will give her something new and exciting to talk to her about when next they see each other.

Ty-min hugged Zuko tight around the legs not letting him walk until he picked her up. He did so. She was too tired to say anything more and held him around the neck with her head on his shoulder as Iroh patted his back, "I am so proud of you. Let us get you two home and into baths and warm beds."


	76. Chapter 76: Faelin's Contract

_**Chapter 76: Faelin's Contract**_

The world seemed surreal as Zuko opened his eyes to the dawning sun. It streamed in through the slats of his shutters illuminating the dust motes in the air of his room. He frowns at the odd heaviness on his and then smiled. Ty-Min was asleep curled over his arm still clutching her medal. He lifted his own medal that he too had clutched all through the night. His uncle didn't need to know how childish he was at times. He raised his hand into the air to let the thin line of sunlight hit the gold medal. He felt odd, somehow proud of his accomplishment. His smile grew larger as he became surer of the reality of yesterday. He needed to tell Faelin.

He sat up, extricating his very numb arm from the little child. He slipped into the hall and into the bathing room of the apartment he shared with his uncle in the Upper Ring. After his bath and dressing, he slipped his medal around his neck and tucked it under his shirt. He rubbed the armbands thru his shirt fabric. Faelin, in her way, had been with him through the competition. He then tried to pull his hair into a tie. "Zuko, stop being so vain. Pulling it won't make it longer." Iroh chuckled as he passed the bathing room without looking in. Zuko dropped his arms and sighed in mild frustration, his hair tumbling into his eyes.

Then a sneaky sense of anxiety crept into his stomach. He was forgetting something important. "I don't wanna bath! I'm going to be late for school!" Every muscle tensed in his body as he heard Ty-min's complaint to his uncle. _She starts school today? Now?! Oh gods and ancestors!! I forgot!!_ He hurried out to gather things as Iroh gave Ty-min a quick wash in the tub.

Last night was still such a blur that he didn't recognize the box on the dining table. Iroh pulled out a coin from it and handed the small chit that contained a single jewel in it. He handed it to Zuko and stared at it dumbly. "Use it for her first school payment and a cart to get there fast," advised Iroh. Zuko, still stunned tucked it into his pocket and lifted Ty-min into his arms to better hurry downthe stairs. Iroh huffed after them with two bagged lunches which he handed to them on the cart that arrived.

Zuko wondered how much the winnings were. He wondered if they were enough to buy Faelin's freedom. He began to wonder if they were enough to buy a proper house and better education for Ty-min and if he could invest them for Ty-min to go to the university here when she got older. These fantasies blew away like poor smoky illusions as they stepped off the stone tram into the Lower Ring and hurried through the streets to her school. She was just in time. He watched her follow a small group of children after a teacher into the building. She kept turning around to wave at him. The corner of his mouth twitched up and he raised his hand to wave back. The headmaster of the school approached him and led him into an office. The furnishings were simple and a reminder of the poverty of the area. He finalized the paperwork and piad for her tuition. He liked this school because the curriculum was decent despite the meager surroundings.

As he walked through the streets in the early morning, he kept an eye out for Faelin. He had been drilling and training so hard of late that a walk about and casually visiting with her had dropped to nothing. He wondered how she was. He had only seen her during the chakra rites. He deflated at the sudden memory of that failure. _Does that mean I cannot be Silver Circle? Does it mean I am not qualified? Can I try again?_ He didn't know. He wanted to ask Mu-Tan. However, he had several other things to do. He stopped in to check on his much neglected apartment in the Lower Ring. Wrinkling his nose, he opened the windows and let in the chill air to freshen the place up. He was scrubbing it clean as a knock almost startled him. He could see two sets of feet shadowed under the door. He cautiously opened it to see the two most unlikely people there standing almost side by side. The opposition of what he saw was jarring. He filthy landlord standing next to Travahar dressed his best.

It took Zuko a moment to shake the incongruity from his mind. His landlord simply demanded the rent. Zuko paid him from the remainder of the coin in his pocket. The landlord left promptly. Travahar invited himself in and sat at the table in the main room. "Cozy," he commented. Zuko simply glared at the insult. "Relax. I thought you would like to join me today. I have been looking through all the nites on the temple and intend to explore every one of them, see what has become of them. I also have a pass to walk freely in the currently still standing temple in the Middle Ring."

Zuko's mouth gaped. Travahar must have been doing this during all the chakra rites and this morning. If they could find out what happened to the children, then maybe they can sort out Faelin's contract. "Yes," said Zuko simply. Travahar grinned and procured from his vest a paper that he set on the table. He agreed to let Zuko look at it only after the civility of tea. Zuko mentally chastised himself. In this impoverished setting he discovered that he forgot the basic etiquettes for host and guest, the honor between two nobles. His uncle would not have forgotten. His uncle treated everyone with such grace. He made tea and served it to Travahar, hoping he was as attentive as his uncle. Only after a cup of tea did Travahar let Zuko look at the paper. Faelin's contract.

Faelin's contract stared back coldly at Zuko from the table where it lay. "I have to get it back before the housemaster knows it's missing." Zuko barely heard Travahar's words as he read the simple contract. Her life was contracted into indentured servitude for the safety of four children in the temples of Ba Sing Se. Her life. That meant she would be released if she were dead. _That is NOT_ _an option!_ "If the children are not in the temple then the contract is null and void." _That IS an option._ Zuko nodded, folded the contract and handed it back to Travahar reluctantly. He wanted so badly to incinerate it.

They spent part of the day exploring the old location of some of the temples, discovering what became of them and dredging through the records that Travahar had been hording in a room upstairs of the dojo. When Zuko arrived at the school to pick up Ty-min, his mind was full of plots and cross-referencing. He made non-committal noises as if he listened to Ty-min's non-stop babble about her first day of school. He did until she kicked him in the shin. "OWE!"

Tears welled in her eyes, "You aren't listening to me!"

He sighed and thought with guilt how he must have just behaved like his own father focused on his plans and ignoring the people that needed his attention. _I will not be like him… not ever._ He pushed aside his clamoring thoughts and lifted Ty-min into his arms. "You have my full attention, now. I'm sorry I was distracted."

The next two days went as this day had. Travahar and Zuko explored buildings, questioned people, and searched records. One evening included the neighbor woman babysitting Ty-min while the young dragons went to hear the news of the war in a hidden cave on the far eastern beach. The Water Tribes had amassed in the Chameleon Bay. The avatar was off to the Eastern Temple on some mission for training on the Avatar State, whatever that meant. Zuko prodded for information on the rest of the avatar's friends. Toph went to see her family apparently. Sokka went to join his father at Chameleon Bay. Katara remained behind to help with some planning efforts to attack the Fire Islands on the Day of Black Sun.

Zuko puzzled over that for a few moments while the men discussed a note they had received from Kozue. "What exactly is the Day of Black Sun?" he finally blurted.

Silence fell. Travahar did not cushion his answer gently, "A solar eclipse that will block any firebender's ability to bend during the small window of time that the sun is blocked in shadow." Zuko felt like he had just been dropped into the icy waters of the northern ocean again. "It will happen this spring, close to the onset of summer." Travahar answered the question Zuko was almost afraid to ask. He could hardly imagine not being able to firebend. He opened his mouth to ask something but could not phrase it. Again Travahar anticipated and replied, "it lasts for a little over an hour. That is not much time to act." Zuko snapped his mouth shut. The Earth Kingdom was going on the offensive.

Bao Li called their attention back to the problem at hand. "We have lost track of the Fire princess. No one in the Fire Islands knows where she is except that she is well placed and under cover."

The last of the temples were searched over the next day while Ty-min was in school. It was hard juggling Ty-min and her schooling, searching temples that were no more, teaching at the dojo and planning several small coups. Travahar and Zuko used the pass they had to get into the temple in the Middle Ring. They walked the grounds and spoke to a couple of the monks that worked and served the people there. It revealed nothing of the children they sought. Dai Li watched them from shadows. Zuko knew they were there, even if Travahar didn't. They both tossed some coin into the large well and rang the bell of the temple. Travahar tossed a second set of coin in the well. "For the things we wish we could undo." It was a loaded wish. He meant more the things they were trying to undo. They both had issues in their past that bound them, Zuko more than Travahar. Travahar felt Zuko could use the support.

Travahar, wanting to diffuse the tension, allowed a slight leer to etch his lips. "I think I will blow off some steam tonight with that lovely red-head from the Red Lantern district. I have to return something in that area anyways." Zuko's heart skipped. Faelin. His face then darkened into a deep frown and he breathed through his chakras to prevent himself from beating the life from Travahar. It took him the entire walk to the stone tram to realize Travahar was planning on getting Faelin to the dojo so she can have some time with Zuko. Every time they walked through the Lower Ring he hoped to see her on an errand. He never did. The vacancy ached in him and this realization that he will see her again lightened his mood considerably. Though, it was a tragedy that they had no news whatsoever about the children. Travahar hoped that Mu-Tan was having better luck. He paid good money for that venture. He also waited on news from the White Lotus. They knew where to find him if news was available.


	77. Chapter 77: Complex Philosophy

_**Chapter 77: Complex Philosophy**_

Zuko's mind was full of thoughts of Faelin that he barely handled his dojo classes that evening. Mu-Tan eventually came and assisted. Afterwards Mu-Tan sat Zuko down for tea. "We need to talk." Anxiety filled Zuko for a moment as he wondered suddenly if he has somehow disgraced his sifu. "You still have Silver Circle training to complete." Zuko hung his head. "I have given you some time, but now you must start to seriously consider this. Think about the experiences of the other chakras and the meaning of the crown chakra. I am taking over your classes for the rest of the week. I want you to focus on meditating on this. You need to complete your chakra rites."

"I… I can try again?" Zuko asked, relief tingeing his words.

"You started. I told you that once you start you must see it through to completion." Mu-Tan was not angry or disappointed. "Most fail the crown chakra rite. It is a hard concept to grasp. Non-attachment versus letting go."

Zuko frowned, "But those mean the same thing."

"No they don't," countered Mu-Tan. "Non-attachment means not clinging to something. It also means not clinging to the desire to have it." Zuko was clearly not grasping this by his expression. "You cannot cling to the wind. Not even by holding your breath. You cannot cling to water. Even in a bottle it eventually evaporates. You cannot cling to sand. It changes and slips through your fingers. You cannot cling to fire. It will burn you to escape or be smothered by your clinging. Yet, these things are always with you. They are part of you and the world around you. You need not cling to them for they are always there. They are in constant flux. They exist and yet they do not exist. They are there because we perceive them. If we hold onto them, we try to keep them in an eternally fixed state. That is selfish. Nothing can be in such a state. We cannot make it stay by our wanting. Nothing can stay the same. Everything changes. Everything is born and must die. Reality is constantly shifting. How can you cling to such things? It is a waste of energy that inhibits your own growth. Why struggle to hold onto things that are always part of you anyways?"

Zuko's frown deepened. "I… need to think about this sifu…" This was complicated, paradoxical and confusing. He wondered if Mu-Tan lost his mind a little or if his uncle rubbed off on his teacher. In the back of his mind it somehow made sense, but at the same time, it didn't. This brief talk was like reading the philosophy texts in the royal library. Mu-Tan left Zuko to think about it.


	78. Chapter 78: Treachery

_**Chapter 78: Treachery**_

Azula contemplated the various philosophical texts on war and espionage while she stood with her two companions as she listened to the conference with the king on their plans. She felt very pleased with herself for having paid so much attention to her tutors. They and their texts were very inspiring. She was feeling like she was doing the impossible. First was to do something her uncle could not do. That was to take the city of Ba Sing Se. Then to do something her uncle did do. That was to slay a dragon. Did it matter if it was a metaphorical dragon? She casually walked the perimeter of the room, calculating its opulence and how nice it would be to sit on that throne for a while when she finished her take over of Ba Sing Se. At the moment, there sat the king and his pet bear.

When the Earth King finished being disgustingly adorable with his bear, he turned more seriously to Azula. "It has been a difficult month for me. My most trusted advisor, Long Feng, and his elite Dai Li agents tried to take control of Ba Sing Se from me."

Azula's face softens into false care as she says smoothly, "It's terrible when you can't trust the people closest to you."

The Earth King strokes his bear's head. His voice lifts, "But there is good news! As we speak, the Council of Five is meeting to plan an invasion of the Fire Nation this summer. On the day of a solar eclipse." His hands came up like an excited boy seeing a new present.

Azula's eyes widened a moment on those last three words. She turned away from the king. Then turned back with feigned enthusiasm, "Really?! Now that sounds like a fascinating and brilliant plan." The three Kyoshi warriors exchanged glances. Azula made mental modifications to her plans.

When the three women retired, Azula stood by the window gazing out across the Rings of Ba Sing Se. She savored the thoughts of conquering it. "Ladies." She slowly turned with a sinister half-smile, the family trademark she inherited. "It is time to take action. I want control of Ba Sing Se long before that eclipse happens." She returned her attention out the window. "First step is to take over the Dai Li. They permeate the whole of Ba Sing Se. Then we must be rid of that infuriating council."

Travahar flirted with the various women that afternoon in the Red Lantern House. The older waterbending woman came close and leaned into his shoulder. "Congratulations on the competitions." She slid her hand under his vest enticing him, teasing and hoping he'd come away with her to the rooms above. No one saw the folded contract slips from Travahar's vest into her bosom as he declined politely. He was waiting for someone special. The girls laughed that he favored the red-head far too much. "I will see if she is ready for you, Leu Long." The older waterbending woman swayed seductively up the stairs and into her shared rooms with Faelin.

Travahar was just extricating his arms from a lovely woman with darkly tanned skin and vibrant green eyes when he saw Faelin coming down the stairs. Travahar felt some guilt at his behavior now that he was engaged to Hwa Lan, but this excursion was purposeful and he hoped Hwa Lan would not be upset if she found out. The house master had Faelin by the arm and was whispering something harshly into her esr. Travahar carefully shifted his feet into a sturdier stance almost by instinct. The house master had a book in his hand. It was her journal. Travahar almost blanched and quickly recomposed himself. There was no taking the journal now. It would have to be considered a loss and he had to pretend to be taking her out for the purposes he claimed. He waited till they reached the bottom of the stairs before claiming Faelin from the house master. "Oh? She has a pillow book!" exclaimed Travahar with naughty curiosity. "May I purchase it?"

The house master considered Travahar's fetish-like interest in the journal. "When she comes back this evening, we will discuss it." The man turned sharply and closed the door of his office taking the journal with him.

Internally, Travahar tisked his initial failure. He hoped Faelin only kept random notes and thoughts and nothing incriminating in it. As he walked with her through the streets of the Lower Ring's poorer district and into the Craftsmen's district to the large Fountain of Lights, he relaxed a little and mentioned that he and Lee had toured the city and visited the temple in the Middle Ring.

For the first time in a while, Travahar saw Faelin's eyes light up. She had a hundred questions on the tip of her pierced tongue. She opened and closed her mouth several times. Travahar sat her on the ledge of the fountain with both hands on her shoulders. "We did not find them, Faelin." Her shoulders sagged under his hands. "It does not mean they are not safe and happy somewhere. It just means they are not at that temple." Travahar wished he had better news than this. The research he and Sun Fei and Hwa Lan had been doing in the last six weeks since the Winter Solstice had revealed remarkably less than he had hoped. "Come on, I would …" he paused as he felt he was being watched. "I would like to spend some more private time with you at my room in the dojo." He drew her to standing and they walked back to the dojo.

He could not be sure if that was an assassin like the one that broke into his home, if that was the sumo guard watching Faelin, or if that was a Dai Li agent. _Best not take any chances. _He no longer was sure which side the Dai Li served. He knew his history. They were supposed to have been trained by Kyoshi to be elite earthbending guards to help maintain the safety of the people of all social strata in Ba Sing Se. Their skill steered the city away from destructive civil war. Later they served as the elite royal guards. However, lately, they have been in association with the now criminal Long Feng and the conspiracy in Lake Laogai to overthrow the king. With Long Feng in prison, who knew who the Dai Li served now? It was disconcerting. The Dai Li were a dangerous force. If you remove the head of a terrible serpent, a worse head tends to grow in its place. _Who could possibly be worse than Long Feng?_

Hwa Lan was worried. It was so unlike Sun Fei to miss even one class, let alone a couple days' worth of classes. And she even missed the competition! Something was definitely up. Determined to find out what was going on, Hwa Lan made her way up through the Ba Sing Se University dorms to Sun Fei's room.

As she knocked, the door swung open. She noticed very quickly that the latch had been broken. _Uh oh._ Looking around quickly, her heart beginning to pound, she could swear that she saw someone wearing a dark green cloak jump out the window. _Was that just a Dai Li agent? Am I dreaming?_ The room itself was a mess - books and papers were scattered everywhere, furniture toppled over. Someone had even ripped her mattress apart and pulled out all the stuffing! _Oh my gods and ancestors! Someone knows about the research!_

"Sun Fei? Are you in here? Hello?" she stepped into the room carefully, looking around for any signs of her friend. She stopped suddenly, gasping. On the wall, carved with what must have been a fine stiletto blade were the words there is a price for knowing too much. She read the words, over and over, wishing there was some way she could read them differently, that they could tell her where Sun Fei was, or what had happened to her. "I need to get Trav in here...Now," she whispered to herself out loud, and backed out of the room.

She ran all the way until she could find a messenger to go to the dojo for her. She was afraid to leave, and afraid to go anywhere alone...especially if that -was- a Dai Li agent she saw. If they knew what she and Sun Fei had been researching, she could very well go missing next.


	79. Chapter 79: Fury & Shock

_**Chapter 79: Fury & Shock**_

Zuko mulled Mu-Tan's words over and over in his mind trying to make sense of them. He knelt in meditation in the middle of the dojo floor listening to the thoughts rumble through his mind. He stood and moved through all the Northern Shaolin over of the Fire nation he knew. He then moved through all the Hung Gar moves he learned from Mu-Tan. He walked the circumference of the dojo. He couldn't clearly think about Mu-Tan's confusing words. They were as confusing as his uncle's.

He stepped into the middle of the dojo again and breathed slowly through each chakra. He inhaled, calling up the memories and sensation of the chakra, awakening it. He exhaled, connected and linking it to the next chakra.

Grounding and trust. He inhaled. The feel of his uncle taking his hand and pulling him up to standing when he fell rose in him. He exhaled. Pleasure and joy. He inhaled. He smiled remembering Faelin and him touching under the blankets in a room just upstairs, the firelight shining in her red hair as the chilly rain pounded the roof. He exhaled. Willpower and choice. He inhaled. It was hard to free the flying bison, but it was the right thing to do. So was deciding his father is wrong, this war is wrong. He had to do something, no matter how small. He exhaled.

Love. He inhaled. He thought about his mother and her last kiss on his brow. He exhaled after swallowing hard and inhaled again. Love. Faelin filled his mind, holding her, kissing her. He exhaled. _I love you Faelin. I will make things right for us… somehow._

Truth. He inhaled. _My life has been a lie till now. The Fire Nation is not great. It is terrorism and cruelty._ He exhaled. Nothing is separate. He inhaled. _We are all one people living on one world. All elements are part of me._ He exhaled.

Again he moved through his Shaolin and Hung Gar moves, this time more easily. He remembered things he saw his uncle do and his body flowed into those moves. He recalled some of Katara's waterbending moves and allowed those to find expression in his muscles. The sparring and fights he had with the difficult to touch avatar inspired him. He spun and leapt. _We are one people. Silver Circle protect the sacred. The sacred is sacred to all people, of all elements. I need to know all the styles, not just Fire and Earth. _

He was just coming to a still stand breathing heavily when the dojo door closed. He looked up the glint of fiery red hair as Faelin removed her cloak and hung it. Zuko thought his legs were going to melt and drop him to the floor. He took a deep breath and steadied himself.

Faelin slowly turned to see Zuko standing in his training pants, her woven armbands still on his upper arms. Her tattoos shimmered briefly as she sensed something from Zuko she had never sensed before. She smiled when she recognized that he has connected with all the chakras he learned to work with. Travahar stepped around her, "You two have some time. Make the most of it. I am going to look through what Mu-Tan might have found out about the children and anything else we might have. I'll be in the study room upstairs."

Travahar's voice broke the spell that kept Zuko locked to the floor. He stepped forward and embraced Faelin. Three days from the competitions and he has neither seen nor heard from her. He last saw her when he failed that crown chakra. Holding her now, he knew she would always be part of him. She was sacred to him and he would protect her with his life. She touched his solar plexus, then his heart and throat and third eye smiling. "Yes, I was trying to work with them. I want to succeed the next time round for the crown." He cupped her face in his hands. "I want to be Silver Circle to you, Faelin. Your Qin Maru Shigosha, your Silver Circle Guardian." She could not have spoken even if she were able. There were no words. She wanted to say something. His sudden kiss preventing any opportunity. They were lost to that one desperate kiss for many breaths.

They spent the next maybe half hour just sitting on the mats. She sat in his lap with his arms around her. He told her about Ty-min and her schooling. He told her about the competitions. He told her about the temple they visited that day. He promised to get her out of that Red Lantern house. He told her about some of his realizations. She silenced him with her hand over his mouth. She wanted to tell him something. It was something important to her. She could see the worry and concern in her eyes. She thought hard trying to figure out how to express it. "What is it Faelin?" asked Zuko as worry and concern began to mirror in his own eyes.

The dojo door slammed open as a message runner rushed in, "Lord Travahar? Lord Travahar!" he called. "Excuse me, Is Lord Travahar here? I have an urgent message for him from Miss Hwa Lan."

Zuko never got to find out what Faelin wanted to say. An urgent message made Zuko's blood turn to ice. He stood with a quick apology to Faelin and called from the bottom of the stairs for Travahar to come down. Travahar came down the stairs two at a time hearing the tone in Zuko's voice and Hwa Lan's name. He took the message from the runner and read it. "Oh my gods," he muttered under his breath. "Faelin. We have to leave now. I have to get to Hwa Lan immediately."

Zuko helped her into her cloak as Travahar thanked and message runner and gave him a coin for his work. Faelin hugged Zuko tight. She would have to tell him later what she wanted to say. Travahar pulled her away and hurried out the door with her. It tore Zuko's heart to shreds to have had so little time and have it suddenly ripped from him. He clenched his fists so hard flames burst around them. His yell echoed in the dojo. He let go of the flames and sagged to the floor.

Travahar's minds was focused on getting Faelin back to the Red Lantern House and grabbing the fastest way to get to Hwa Lan's dorm. He had not entirely forgotten about the "pillow book" but that will have to wait till morning. Hwa Lan's messenger said it was urgent. Something had Hwa Lan scared. There were too many ways to ruin his life, future and the lives of those he called friends.

The sumo guard regarded Travahar oddly as they approached. "That was fast," he said offhand.

Travahar ignored him. The sumo guard did not need to know his business, nor did Fong the house master at the moment. Faelin hurried herself upstairs to avoid the housemaster and hoped Travahar would get her journal back soon, before the housemaster read it. Travahar, however, tossed his pay at the desk like most careless nobles and informed the servant there that he will speak with Fong tomorrow. He was then off at a run to get to Hwa Lan, worry spurring him as fast as he could manage. At the entry to the stone tram, he managed to send a message runner to Mu-Tan with a note, _Fong… Faelin's Red Lantern Housemaster… has her journal._

Mu-Tan was met by the message runner just before he entered the dojo. He handed the youth a coin and stepped into the dojo as he scanned Travahar's note. _This is not good at all. It would certainly explain why the Fong Gang is on the move this evening. Well, Iroh, now I have a location to the head of this particular demon. Time to make good on that contract._ He also could not risk that journal getting into the wrong hands, just in case Faelin mentioned something, or anything, critical. Fong had dealings with the Dai Li. This could be bad for Travahar or Zuko and the very foundations that they have been working so hard at.

"Zuko. Go change," ordered Mu-Tan. Zuko was walking the dojo to try to relieve his anxiety. At Zuko's look of uncertainty, Mu-Tan added, "Fong has Faelin's journal. Go change. Silver Assassins have to act now. I am going to get Fong and the journal. You are going to take Faelin."

Zuko's mouth gaped a moment and then snapped shut. "How?! How did he get her journal?"

Mu-Tan was halfway up the stairs when he turned to Zuko who was at the bottom of the stairs, "Travahar found out Fong actually runs the Red Lantern House that Faelin works for. I don't know what was in Faelin's journal, but the risk of it revealing who you and Travahar are is too high. Hurry up."

Zuko took the stairs two at a time. His mind whirling through the fury that grew there. It was this man that killed Ty-min's family. It was this man that enslaved Faelin. It was this man who had Faelin beaten sometime. It was this man that silenced her with the bolt in her tongue. _This man… has to die…_

Two shadows of angry death dashed across rooftops toward the red light district. They pressed against a wall nearly holding their breath as a group of Fong's gang collected in the alley they were about to cross. Mu-Tan pointed. Zuko's eyes followed the direction. On a roof not too far away, they could see the silhouette of a Dai Li agent. Now they waited, the part Zuko hated most.

Zuko leaned his head against the stone wall and tried to breathe calmly. His uncle was supposed to be at the little apartment to watch over Ty-min by now. Ty-min should be well asleep. Faelin could be in any sort of danger. Part of him wanted to be the hand that ended Fong's life. Part of him just wanted this to be over swiftly and for the Dai Li especially to not be involved. Zuko remembered how Mu-Tan had said that Fong had dealings with the Dai Li. The Dai Li must be here for the journal. If they knew who he was, there would be no safe place for him to take Faelin. The war will then be inside these walls and not just outside. Who was he kidding? They always were inside these walls. There was no real escape from this war. It touched everyone, everywhere, somehow. He ground his teeth. He silently vowed that after Fong paid, his father was next. And so they waited.

Mu-Tan moved back, one very slow step at a time, easing Zuko back till they were out of sight. They needed a different route. Once on the ground, he quietly asked Zuko to trust him. Zuko clasped his hand around his fist and bowed his head. Then he breathed through his chakras one at a time. Mu-Tan stepped in close, placing a hand on Zuko's shoulder. In the next breath, they were instantly swallowed under the earth in a spherical stone tomb.

Zuko's breaths came short. "Breathe, Zuko. And brace yourself. We are going to move very fast." Mu-Tan shifted stance inside this dark void. Zuko nearly fell over as they rushed thru the underground. Zuko gulped for air and swallowed several times. When Mu-Tan raised them back to ground level, a block from the Red Lantern house that Faelin worked in, Zuko clutched the wall and vomited. Mu-Tan wished Zuko could do that much more quietly. Better yet, he wised Zuko didn't do it at all. Now there was a trace that they were there. "You done?" Zuko wiped his mouth and nodded.

As they rounded the corner of the Red Lantern house close to the window Zuko had so frequently snuck in through, Mu-Tan pushed him back around the corner. Nearly twenty men gathered there, all members of Fong's gang. "So," said one man, "Who is taking out the trash? The body of that girl should be around here somewhere."

Mu-Tan forced Zuko against the wall to keep him from rushing out in blind fury.

"Found her!" hollered another guy. "WOAH! She's still alive! Dammit, hay and blood and still breathing." He tisked like he looked at a stay pygmy panther the guard hadn't properly killed and disposed of, or rather more like a vermin that was still alive in the trap. "Ok, who wants to get dirty?"

Mu-Tan whispered fiercely, "We have no time for you to be angry. Breathe. I will distract them. You get Faelin. Then I will get the journal and deal with Fong. I'll move you through the earth like we traveled. But I can only take you a short distance. Get her out… and as far as you can from here. Ready?"

Zuko was still so mad that his hands could char you at a touch, but at least he was not throwing flames and giving himself away. Zuko's chest heaved with his anger, nostrils flared. He nodded.

Mu-Tan climbed the wall and approached the group, then dropped down beside one like a shadow of death, slicing his throat. Chaotic yelling erupted. Another gang member dropped. Mu-Tan drew them away from Faelin. He was one man. The men standing drew weapons, clubs or blades, and sneered at this one man's audacity and stupidity to take on a gang of so many.

Zuko felt so much respect for Mu-Tan and hoped Mu-Tan didn't die. At the first opening, Zuko dashed around the corner and across to the pile of hay. He dropped quickly to one knee to scoop her up. His hands shook. He hardly recognized the beaten and bleeding women who looked like she was thrown from the Red Lantern house's third floor balcony into this pile of filthy hay. He was afraid to move her. What if that one small move killed her? _I was supposed to protect you. I should never have let you go back there, the moment I knew who you were._ "NOW!" Mu-Tan's voice nearly shook the stones in the alley.

Zuko glanced up long enough to see two Dai Li agents drop from a roof to join the fight against Mu-Tan. Zuko barely had his arms around Faelin when they were swallowed by the earth and pulled in a direction so fast that Zuko felt his heart in his throat. Mu-Tan was right, there was no time to fight. Faelin's life was thread thin. _Please, Mu-Tan, don't die before we surface._ Thoughts if suddenly stopping and slowly suffocating threatened to overtake him. He slowed his breathing to not use up air to quickly.

They resurfaced near the Craftmen's District. He mentally wished Mu-Tan luck to survive. And more if he did to get Faelin's journal and kill Fong. Though, now Zuko knew where Fong operated. If Mu-Tan did not deal with the man or was killed trying, he would burn the place to the ground. He still wanted to burn it to the ground. He wanted to hear Fong scream and beg for mercy and realize it would never be granted. A sound jarred him from his hate. Faelin struggled to breathe. Panic rose in him. _UNCLE!_ His uncle would know what to do. He carefully lifted Faelin in his arms and carried her to his apartment.

He thudded the door with his toe to get his uncle to open it. Iroh nearly dropped his cup of tea when he did. There stood Zuko, color gone from his face with shock. In his arms, the young priestess lay limp and bleeding. He ushered them in and tossed his tea cup hurriedly into a wash basin. Iroh slid the door to Zuko's bedroom open and hurried to bring in the bathing tub. He set water on to boil, gathered blankets and material to use to wash her wounds. Zuko almost mechanically followed his uncle's simple instructions. Faelin was gently placed on Zuko's bedroll. They very carefully wiped down her body as Iroh inspected each wound and listened to her breathing. "Uncle?" Zuko's voice quavered.

Iroh did not have the heart to tell Zuko that there was no real hope. He had seen wounds like this and worse during his time at war. All victims died. Then he thought of his time after the 600 Day Siege when he was the waterbending healers. Unfortunately, there were no more waterbending healers in Ba Sing Se. It broke Iroh's heart. Zuko was like a small boy begging for him to make this right. If only he could.


	80. Chapter 80: Healing

Chapter 80: Healing

_**Chapter 80: Healing**_

She looked so small in Zuko's simple bed. Iroh carefully raised her by the shoulders, supporting her head as he lifted her to sitting. "Zuko," he called softly to get his nephew's attention, "Zuko, sit behinds her. I need to have her supported up so I can clean and check these wounds. She can't breathe well laying back."

Zuko numbly did as he was told. He gathered her, almost afraid to worsen her breaks as he held her in his lap. His uncle removed her clothing stoically. Zuko winced for them all at each motion and the damage revealed beneath bloodied fabric. Zuko shifted at his uncle's advice so Faelin was leaning back a little as they tried to find a position in which she could breathe with less difficulty.

Iroh's mind thought back to the military training he had and the drills in field medicine. It was a field he insisted all his troops had, even if that training was phased out by Fire Lord Ozai as superfluous. Iroh's jaw tightened at the memory, _If a man falls by his wound, then he was too foolish and got in the way! Leave him behind. Don't waste your honor or energy on him. Honor comes from winning the battle, not on how many survive._ The words were Ozai's and Iroh disagreed fiercely. The large pot of water boiled on the little wood stove. Iroh set the cloth aside and filled the small bathing basin. He pulled it closer and more thoroughly cleaned Faelin's small body. The water was deep red by the time he was done. He wrapped some folded bandaged over her wounds and splinted what he could. He could just barely hear Zuko whispering for Faelin to come back to him, to hold on. He added the same words to the gods and ancestors silently.

A small noise was heard in the other bedroom that once served as Iroh's. Iroh rose to check on little Ty-min. She had barely stirred from her own bad dream. He sang his song Little Soldier Boy once for her very quietly and eased her back into slumber. As he thought on his own son and the day that young man died before a waterbending healer could help him, an idea flashed through his mind.

"Zuko," his voice firm as he returns to his nephew's side, "I think I can bring back help."

Zuko swallowed, trying to find his voice, "Hwa Lan… she's… she's training as a doctor."

Iroh's didn't know Hwa Lan well, nor where to find her. "Better than a doctor." He gently touched Faelin's cheek, "Hold on child, hold on till I return. Zuko, I will be as quick as I can."

There sounded like hope in his uncle voice and it encouraged Zuko. He tried talking to her over the hour, "Faelin, Uncle will not be long. He'll find help. We'll … He'll get help." Her tattoos started to glow softly and his breath caught in the surprise. "Faelin? Faelin." However, she did not stir. Zuko's shoulders sagged a little with no response. He wondered why she was spirit bending. His voice shook now as the second hour crept by, "Faelin, when this is over, I will swear my Silver Circle vows to you. I will take you from this. I will not let harm come to you again. I swear it. I… I … I'll marry you if you'll have me. Faelin?" The tattoos' glow faded. "Faelin?" The room was so quiet; he couldn't hear her shallow breathing. "Faelin please…. Please… don't leave me. Faelin…." He could not say her name again around the lump in his throat. He prayed harder than ever for help, any kind of help, from anyone, even the avatar, anyone. The silence stretched with the minutes.

Iroh huffed in his hurry to get to the late night stone tram. It was more expensive to travel at night. He had to show papers to the Dai Li at the platform and prove he lived in the Upper Ring. They questioned him about his night journey and he explained impatiently that his nephew still lived in the Lower Ring. He needed to run an errand back home and back. They could expect him on the way back alone or with someone to assist him with the errand. He didn't want to have to go through questioning again on the way back.

As he stepped off the platform in the Upper Ring he took a moment to remember where the Avatar's temporary house was and hoped that Katara was staying there and not at the Palace. He was sweating and out of breath and he stepped heavily to the door and knocked firmly. He knocked again with more insistence when he heard no sounds of response. Just when he was about to give up, a female voice spoke tiredly through the door asking who it was. "Lady Katara. It is," he paused looking around before he continued, "Iroh, Zuko's uncle… from the Jasmine Dragon. Please, I need your help."

Katara could almost sense the urgency in Iroh's tone as she opened the door and coaxed him inside. "That was dangerous! Someone might have heard you!"

"I don't have time to waste on that kind of worry. I needed you to know who I was and open up immediately. Please, will you come with me? You can heal, can't you? I've known waterbenders who can heal. Can you?" He rushed through his words knowing that Faelin might not have long to live.

Katara was surprised. "I can, some. Let me get changed. Who is hurt? How badly? Is is Zuko? What happened? I don't want him firebending me to ash for trying to help." She was blunt about this, she knew Zuko likely would hurt her. She still didn't really trust him. Their last encounter showed him to be abrasive and wary. Sokka would have flat out refused to let her go, especially if he knew she was going alone.

She returned with a lit lantern to search for her waterskins. In the light, she could see Iroh very clearly. The streaks of blood that he was trying to hide under the overshirt he grabbed on the way out of Zuko's apartment were visible now. Katara gasped.

"I'm not hurt," Iroh said softly to reassure her. "And neither is Zuko as far as I could tell. But Faelin… a young priestess… That is a long story. I will tell it to you later, over tea. Right now, she needs your help. Badly."

Katara had seen many terrible things over her time in her village, when Ozai came and killed so many. But on her own with her brother and Aang, the worst was perhaps scrapes and bruises and illness. Not so much blood. She nodded resolute. She would not let anyone be so hurt, not if she could help it. She hated many people for the cruelties that inflicted on others, perhaps Zuko was among those. However, this girl, this priestess was not.

She followed Iroh at a quick pace and in silence till they were on the stone tram. Alone in the one car she asked about Faelin's wounds in order to think about how she would heal them. She had received enough training to be a formidable healer, but hadn't put that knowledge to use yet, thankfully. Iroh couldn't tell her enough. His descriptions were horrific and yet vague at the same time. She could not believe how someone here within the walls of Ba Sing Se would do such an act… and not get caught. She sincerely hopes that person would get caught soon.

A dark thought crept into her mind as they approached Zuko's apartment. She had never been in this dingy part of town. The tea shop in the Lower Ring was in a cleaner part of the district. The apartment, stood starkly in a darkened street, foreboding. _Did Zuko do this cruel act to the woman? Did he lose his temper and harm her? Is that why Iroh is bringing me, to undo Zuko's crimes?_

She was unprepared for the scene she walked into inside the small apartment.

Katara was taken back to a moment some time last year when Iroh was struck down by Azula. She offered to help and Zuko in his anguish drove them away. The apartment was small and very simple with little in it. The table has a scattering of children's drawings and calligraphy attempts all signed Ty-Min. Katara wondered who this child was. The scent of blood was tingeing the air slightly metallic in scent. Iroh hurried to gather some fresh water and indicated quietly that Zuko was in the room on the left and a child was asleep in the right side bedroom. The glimpse to the left was that reminder of the past.

A young man knelt cradling a woman with honey colored tattoos. She barely recognized Zuko, so used to the stoic or acrid expression. This was a very broken man with his face wet and dripping with his weeping for the woman in his arms. He raised his head as she came into the doorway. He couldn't even voice the plea that was in his eyes. "I… I… can't tell… if she's breathing." He swallowed between words. Katara thought she would break down and cry with him; his pain was so tangible.

Katara knelt on the other side of the bed mat and asked Iroh to please bring her some water. He was already setting a fresh basin near her. She took a breath and focused her chi and her mind as her healing teacher has instructed when she was in the Northern Water Tribe. Then she delicately touched the tattooed woman's shoulder and senses what she could through the water in the woman's body. "Dear gods and ancestors," she breathed. She heard Zuko's breath catch and instantly regretted her words. "She's breathing Zuko, just barely." He could have collapsed with relief and Katara was glad he did not.

"P-please… Please… Can you… can Aang…" Zuko wasn't sure what to say.

Katara could not bare it seeing him so distraught and begging her like this. _He must love her very much._ She knew how much it might hurt if Aang were wounded thus. She'd be just as upset. "I will do my best, Zuko," she spoke gently and wiped the tears from both his good and scarred cheeks. "I will do my best."

He nodded accepting anything at this moment, praying to the very gods that he would do absolutely anything if only they would help heal Faelin. He slowly laid Faelin onto the bed mat as Katara indicated and then gasped as Faelin's tattoo began to glow. Katara gasped too in surprise. Iroh interjected, "she is a priestess, Katara. The spirits have blessed her with spirit bending."

"She glows like Aang," she whispered with wide eyes.

Katara will then settle with some water and begin healing Faelin. She could hardly believe the amount of breaks and internal bleeding Faelin suffered. She could not believe this woman was still alive. She could sometimes feel a pattern of ripples in the woman's body moving from the base of the spine to the top of the head through seven particular spots. It seemed to give the woman strength. And when that strength waned, the tattoos would fade and Katara would double her healing efforts.

Zuko watched with a sinking heart as his hope of Faelin living faded with each moment her tattoos faded. Occasionally Katara would ask for more water or assistance moving Faelin carefully. Zuko simply obeyed. Sometimes his own emotions overwhelmed him and he would feel a gentle hand brush away his tears as his golden eyes met Katara's blue eyes. He didn't want to release Faelin's hand that he now held, watching as Katara worked. When his emotions overtook him, Katara felt the stress through waters in both Faelin's and Zuko's bodies.

Katara put a hand over Zuko's, "You have to let her go, Zuko."

His lips pursed and fire danced in his eyes. Katara thought he would firebend at her and braced for the onslaught. He squeezed his eyes shut as they spilled over with tears and he strained out one word, "no…"

"You are exhausted. Get some rest. We aren't going anywhere," she was trying to sound reassuring. She needed him at a distance from where she was healing. His distress was making it distracting and more difficult to heal. She was relieved when Iroh come in with fresh water and a cup of tea for her. "Iroh? Is there some place where Zuko can sleep a bit. I need to focus alone for a time."

Iroh understood that this could be very bad for Faelin and Katara didn't want Zuko present if Faelin died. Zuko hadn't slept even the night before. He was a visibly knot of wrecked nerves. Iroh guided Zuko out of the room despite weak protests. "Nephew, rest here." He gave Zuko a gentle shove into the big comfy chair and then slid the door to Zuko's bedroom closed. Zuko hung his head and buried his face in his hands. "Mu-Tan said that meditating through your chakras could bring strength and peace. Why don't you do that now, Nephew? Faelin could use your strength of spirit right now."

"I… failed, Uncle." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I failed to protect her. All this training. To be Silver Circle. And I failed…"

Iroh rested both his hands on Zuko's shoulders, "You only fail her if you give up on yourself. She has faith in you, Zuko." He knelt on the floor before Zuko and took his nephews hands in his own. "I will meditate with you."

Zuko nodded. He felt like he had nothing left inside him with which to fight. He leaned back in the chair and folded his hands in his lap. He took a deep shaky breath. _Root chakra lends me groundedness. It is blocked by fear. Am I afraid to lose her? Gods, please… I don't want her to die._ After several breaths and thinking about her in what must be unbelievably terrible pain, he resolved that he would rather she did not suffer through this. _Even … even if she dies, she does not deserve to suffer this. No one does. Please gods, ancestors, ease her suffering._ He felt stability fill him in his next breath.

His next breath pulled up the energy of the root chakra into his navel chakra. _Navel chakra is about pleasure and is blocked by… guilt._ His breath caught and he swallowed. _I should have been there. I am so sorry, Faelin. I should have been there._ He sniffed and gulped his next few breaths trying to return to the idea of meditating. He tried to think of the pleasures this chakra should lend him. The night he and Faelin spent together in his room above the dojo during the storm filled his mind. The witty comment he made that inspired such a beautiful smile and light laugh from her on a walk one day moved in his navel and eased his guilt. She was a slave and he brought pleasure to the few moments he gave wholly to her. _I will not fail you again, Faelin. I want … I want you to just… be safe and happy._ He understood that much of her wounds were not his fault but someone else's. That realization paved the way to releasing his guilt.

His next breath heated the room as he tapped into his solar plexus. _And Fong will pay for what he did!_ It was easy to breathe through this chakra. He felt no shame, just anger. He took a couple of breaths to pull himself under control. _Fong will pay by my hand or Mu-Tan's. You will be avenged Faelin. No matter how this turns out._

When he shifted his thoughts to his heart chakra, he vaguely wondered if the avatar knew anything about chakras. He took a deep and steadier breath. _Heart chakra… it is about love… and loss._ He choked on his next breath as the idea of losing Faelin hit him hard again. She had become as dear to him as his mother and his uncle. _Oh gods, Faelin. I love you so much._ He could almost feel her arms around him and her soft whisper; _I am always with you Zuko, bound by our love._ A tear trickled down his cheek. _Rest easy my love…_ He wasn't sure whether that was her imagined words in his mind or his own to her. He breathing was slower and meditative.

His mind grew fuzzy and sluggish with exhaustion. He took a more conscious breath to refocus on his throat chakra. _Truth… the truth… I am honored that the waterbender is here to help, even though I do not deserve her concern. Truth… I have been cruel to her and her friends… to the avatar… And all they have done was be kind. Truth… I will make amends for this if I can._ He took a more resolute breath. _I will make things right in my own way, in the only ways I can._

It was easy to breathe into the third eye from there with the understanding that everything was connected. The very fact that Katara was here doing her best against great odds was proof that everything was connected.

His steady breathing guided him smoothly to the crown chakra. He prayed that Katara was helping Faelin. However, more so, he prayed Faelin's pain and suffering were over. _Even if I must let you go. I love you Faelin, but I… I don't want you to hurt like this._ He let go of his anguish and let go of her. He placed his trust in the gods to make the right choice for Faelin. His holding onto her would not help this situation. Breathing came more easily after that. In fact, he didn't realize he had drifted off to sleep till the sound of his bedroom door sliding startled him awake.

"Zuko?" Katara's tired voice was filled with concern. "Can you firebend in a way that just warms with no fire?"

He nodded and rubbed his eyes.

"I need some rest before I do more and her body temperature keeps dropping with shock," she explained. She didn't want to worry him, but she was worried Faelin would die before she could be healed enough to survive on her own. Zuko followed her in and Iroh took over the comfy chair to catch some sleep of his own.

In the room, Faelin didn't look any better. Zuko tensed. She was clean, but that only made every bruise and gash stand out all the more. She looked so pale he didn't even know if she was alive. Katara took Zuko's hand and guided him over. "Zuko," she said softly, "I need to you keep her warm, raise her body temperature so I can keep working." She hoped this would work, for all their sakes.

Zuko hesitantly lay down beside Faelin on the bed mat. He wasn't sure where was safe to touch her. Katara guided him. He remembered the day he kept Faelin warm in the winter in her little room with the thin blankets. He raised his body temperature to be a human furnace for her. He could feel how cold she was against him. So still, she was, and so cold. There was the occasional shiver that reminded him she was not dead. With the acceptance, though sad, that she might die, he could focus on his chakras and maintaining a very warm body temperature. This was something he could do in his sleep. Sleep claimed him till dawn.

He stirred awake and raised his body temperature a bit. Opening his eyes, Faelin still looked like a bruised mess. She breathed so slowly that he thought she died in his arms. He swallowed several times and murmured that he loved her. Carefully he drew away and noticed Katara curled on the hard floor nearby. She looked haggard and exhausted. _Had she been up all night healing? Did she burn herself out?_

Katara sat up sensing Zuko was awake. She gave him a tired but reassuring smile. "Zuko. It's ok. They will be fine. She'll need more healing over the next few days and some long term care, but they are fine."

Zuko blinked. "They?"

There could not have been anything more stunning to hear. Katara guided him out of the room to the smell of breakfast and fresh tea. Ty-Min threw herself at Zuko's legs and hugged him good morning. She whispered, "Is Faelin gonna want breakfast? Uncle Mushi is making eggs. I like eggs when I am sick? Is Faelin sick? Is she gonna be well soon? Can I say hello to the healer? Is she really a waterbending healer? Lee? Are you really gonna be my daddy? Can I call you that? Will Faelin be my new mommy?"

Katara smirked. She never thought that Zuko would have adopted a little girl like this, or at all. He was so gentle with the child as he stroked Ty-Min's hair. Katara thought to her self that maybe, just maybe Iroh was right. Zuko has changed. His passion for the wounded woman was touching. He also didn't snark or yell at Katara.

She then wondered if that child were his or a product of being violated. "Faelin, is that the name of the girl?" Iroh nodded as he set plates for them for a rice and egg mixture for breakfast. "She's about six weeks pregnant. She might be a little more but I would have…" She never finished the sentence as the color left Zuko and he fainted with shock.

Ty-min yelped in surprise. Iroh rushed over to Zuko and helped him into the comfy chair. A huge grin split Iroh's face as Zuko opened his eyes and was instantly smothered by his uncle's excited hug. "You are going to be a daddy," he said tearily with joy. He hurried to get Zuko is vanilla bergamot tea to soothe him. "Faelin will be alright?" he asked.

"She will need some quiet care for a while till she is healed," explained Katara. "I can come by and do some healing a bit at a time. She needs more fluids to replenish what I am using to heal her. And she will need far better nourishment than she has been getting."

"What about me?!" burst Ty-min, all of a sudden feeling like the rejected child. Her worry that Zuko will have his own baby and forget her spilled with her tears down her cheeks.

Iroh scooped up the little girl to reassure her, "no no no, Don't cry. You are going to be a big sister." He settled Ty-min in Zuko's lap and she clung to him.

This whole scene added to the unbelievable feeling she had when she first walked through the door. It made Zuko seem so much more real and human and less like an enemy. He was just like any other man struggling to live. She wished Sokka was here to see this. Sokka would understand the honor and need for family like this. Katara felt that if Sokka only knew, it might make things easier between him and Zuko. Aang already hoped Zuko would join their side in the war. Toph adored Iroh, the tea lover. Katara absently picked at some eggs on a dish and sat to nibble them more seriously.

Zuko still looked like he was hit in the head with one of Toph's boulders. It was almost ten whole minutes before he spoke, "I'm… going to be a father…." _Please gods, let Faelin be alright. Please gods, do not let me be like my father. Strike me down instantly if I am._ His mind was a whirl as Iroh put a plate in Ty-min's hands and one on Zuko's lap prompting him to eat.

Katara took her tea and slipped back into the room to check on Faelin. The poor woman would need care indeed. She was reassured though that Zuko was not the abuser.

A knock at the door started everyone. Iroh cautiously went to inspect, ready to deal with Dai Li if that is who knocked. Mu-Tan greeted him instead. "I have completed my contract with you," he said quietly. "Let Zuko know Fong will no longer be a danger to anyone." Iroh pulled the older man into the apartment and sat him at the table. Mu-Tan looked battered and bruised, but his spirit was unflinching. He gratefully accepted tea from Iroh and relaxed. "How is the priestess?"

Iroh explained the situation to him.

From the chair, Zuko spoke firmly, "Master Mu-Tan. I want to redo my crown chakra. I need to complete my Silver Circle training." He was resolved to complete this training and swear his vows to ensure this never happened again to Faelin. He was also resolved to not let her out of the sight of those he trusted, especially now that she carried his own child.

Mu-Tan nodded. "As soon as she is able to monitor."

"Can't it be done without her?" Zuko was concerned that she needed to recover and thought for sure Silver Circle could do the rites without a priestess.

Mu-Tan considered this and shook his head. He remembered too quickly how things could go wrong without someone to monitor the spirit of the person going through the rites. "No. It is better that she be there. We can wait a bit. Take your time with her. You both need to recover anyhow."

Katara listened from Faelin's side and wondered what Silver Circle were. She wondered if these rites were like the rite of manhood that Sokka went through or that she went through for her womanhood. She wondered a great many things from that conversation. _I can ask another time when things calm down._ She helped Faelin to drink some water.


	81. Chapter 81: Plotting

Chapter 81: Plotting

_**Chapter 81: Plotting**_

While Aang struggled with understanding the Avatar State in preparation for his crown chakra, Sokka prepared for a battle at sea with his father. Toph traveled to her Ba Sing Se family home to meet with her mother only to be surprised by old acquaintances capturing her in a metal trap to return her to her family and life of nobility and handicap.

In the meantime, Azula was very busy. Underground the royal palace; she had summoned the Dai Li in Long Feng's name. The huge hall was flanked by enormous ancient statues and the glowing of the green crystals that lit most of the ancient underground city and base for the Dai Li. The Dai Li agents were lined up in rows and ranks facing a dais. There stood Azula in her new Earth Kingdom clothing which resembles a cross between the Dai Li uniform and the Kyoshi uniform. Mai and Ty Lee were to the side disguised as Kyoshi warriors, even with the make-up whereas Azula no longer covered her face up.

Azula stepped up onto a pedestal that was used as a base for on old statue to address the Dai Li. In a loud clear voice, she spoke with confidence. "The Earth King and The Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. They imprisoned your leader, Long Feng. Soon they will turn on all of you, and eliminate you. Seizing power today is a matter of life and death."

One Dai Li agent frowned slightly. He lowered his scarred face considering Azula's words. The Fire Nation princess stepped down from the dais as she noted this small motion. She walked along the rows. "The coup must be swift and decisive. The Earth King, and each of the five generals, must be taken out simultaneously. Long Feng has placed you in _my_ command while we overthrow the government." This concerned agent's eyes grew wide a moment before he forced himself back to attention. Azula paused in her walk along the row and stopped in front of him. Her tone took on a sinister feel as her eyes slid serpent-like to side glance this agent, "If I sense any disloyalty, any hesitation, any weakness at all, I will snuff… it… out." A chill went down the man's spine at the finality of her words. "That is all." The agent watched Azula nervously as she walked back to Mai and Ty lee.

Once all the Dai Li had filed out and Azula sat on the steps of the dais, Ty Lee poured her some tea. "Nice speech Azula. It was pretty and poetic, but also scary in a good way."

Mai lightly snickered as she thought about that nervous agent, "Yeah, I thought you were going to make that one guy pee his pants."

"There are still a few loose ends." Azula sipped her tea thinking and trying not to grind her teeth with hatred. "The Avatar, and my brother and uncle." She needed to plan, just a few days to see that things fell into place and then she would act. First was to know when to strike. That meant gaining some intelligence on the Council of Five Generals. Then she needed to figure out the best way to lay her traps to tie up the loose ends.

The day waned as Katara cared for Faelin. Zuko was in and out trying to manage what Mu-Tan insisted he do… life. He took Ty-min to school and assisted with the dojo classes. Iroh returned to the Jasmine Dragon tea house to be sure it was running smoothly, but came back to help Zuko a bit with Ty-min and Faelin so Katara can return to her other duties to the Earth King.

Toph was dragged out in a metal box on a long journey home. Her struggles seemed futile.

In the evening, one of the Dai Li agents brought food to Long Feng's cell. "The Five Generals are close to the earth King, sir, but the Dai Li are loyal to you." He slid the food into the cell. "The movements of the generals and the Earth King have been plotted out step by step."

Long Feng remained in a meditative seated position, eyes closed. He didn't yet touch the food. "Good. And the Fire Nation princess is cooperating?"

"Oh yes!" the agent said with more enthusiasm than expected. "More than cooperating, she's really taken charge. She's terrifying and inspirational all at the same time. It's hard to explain."

As the agent left, Long Feng opened his eyes, full of suspicion. He too plotted while he ate.

Dinner was quiet for many. Mu-Tan nursed his own wounds and spoke with the other Silver Circle as they planned to start cleaning up the remainder of Fong's gang. Travahar met with Hwa Lan and stayed close with her. She was so nervous and was not quite ready to explain why. He was worried she was in shock of some kind and ordered dinner in for them. Katara ate with the earth King and the Council of Five Generals listening to discussions of war that made little sense to her.

Iroh sat with Ty-min to eat a meal he prepared for them all. Zuko ate with Faelin. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked. Faelin was sitting up now. She could nibble carefully if supervised. Zuko was amazed by Katara's healing skills and willingness to help. Faelin had opened her mouth to speak and only closed it again. "Oh. Ya… you can't." Zuko hung his head a little ashamed at assuming she could tell him when she had been silenced by Fong. Katara had already explained to him that she cannot heal Faelin's tongue unless the bolt was removed from it. "I will do right by you Faelin. I promise." She set down her bowl a moment to hold Zuko's hand. Their eyes met in understanding.


	82. Chapter 82: Changes

Chapter 82: Changing

_**Chapter 82: Changing**_

Katara met Zuko at the door of his apartment as he came home with Ty-min for lunch. Katara smiled, "You have changed." He gave her a brooding look. Katara smirked. It was good to see that his spirits were up and he could still brood at her. His delicate caress through Ty-min's hair gave away a soft side of him that wasn't showing in his face. It made Katara smile more to see the betrayal of his gentleness via his actions. "Faelin is doing better. She'll need help with a bath later. I'll try to come by again tomorrow, but I have some things to do. Your uncle sent a message runner here to ask if you could help him at the tea house today… while Ty-min is in school."

Concern dashed across his eyes, "What about Faelin? Someone should be with her. I am not leaving her alone."

"You should consider moving her to your uncle's home." She meant only so the place would be cleaner and that supplies would not be so difficult to scrounge up. "Then your uncle can check in—"

"No."

"But…"

Zuko pursed his lips as Ty-min stepped inside and peaked in on Faelin. "I'll think about it."

"Can I eat lunch with Faelin?" called Ty-min with a grin. Zuko's brief nod got a gleeful yip from the child as she grabbed the sandwiches that Katara made off the table and gingerly skipped into the room and sat with Faelin.

Katara stepped out of the apartment feeling like she already pushed enough. Zuko was an emotionally unpredictable person as far as she was concerned. She figured that he needed to sit the night with the idea in order to avoid angering him. He was so protective of Faelin. All things considered, he had good reason. She had been beaten nearly to death and is carrying Zuko's child in her belly. Katara knew all this must scare Zuko to death being that they are in a war. Ozai and Azula would surely use a child like this against Zuko. She headed back to the palace with many thoughts roiling in her mind about the people she cared about and the dangers they must be in.

Zuko leaned in the bedroom doorway, nibbling a sandwich as he watched Ty-min babble about her day at school to Faelin. A knock at the door made Zuko pause in his chewing. He swallowed the bit in his mouth as he straightened and took up his blades before approaching the door. "Who's there?" he asked from behind the locked door.

"Qin Maru," answered a barely familiar voice.

Zuko opened the door warily. Bao Li stood there patiently. Zuko invited him in, but he declined. "You need to be at the dojo," he said tersely.

"I have commitments here. I can't just go."

"I'll help you bring Faelin. But you need to be at the dojo." His insistence worried Zuko. Bao Li then came inside as Zuko considered. "I'll carry the priestess as you walk the child back to school."

"What happened?" Zuko asked.

Bao Li quieted his voice to a bare whisper, "Someone has been killed."

Zuko knew that Bao Li would not say who. What worried Zuko more was that the death was possibly Mu-Tan's, otherwise, why send Bao Li here. Zuko nodded. The dojo would be safer for Faelin anyways. And someone was always nearby in case she needed something.

Zuko packed everything that was of value in the apartment. "Are we moving?" asked a confused Ty-min.

"We are going to go live at the dojo for a while." He figured it was time anyways. Things coups to be in motion and Faelin needed more attention. If Mu-Tan had been hurt or killed, then the dojo classes needed to continue to maintain a degree of cover for the others. Besides, the rent was due on the apartment and Zuko didn't have enough money to pay it.

An icy rain began to fall outside as they all walked. Faelin was well bundled against the weather. Zuko called a cart to take them on their way with their belongings. First they dropped Ty-Min off at school. The sudden change made Ty-min nervous and she clung to Zuko's vest and cried to stay with him. "Be my brave warrior now Ty-min. Don't let those boys see you crying. I'll be back when the classes are over as usual." Zuko walked her to the door, hugged her and brushed away her tears before she watched him walk away to the cart. She tried hard not to cry again as her teacher brought her inside the school.

Zuko carried Faelin up to his room above the dojo and Bao Li carried Zuko's belonged up. Relief filled Zuko when he saw his sifu kneeling on the dojo floor. Travahar and Hwa Lan and Ling were there too. A small whimper from Faelin drew his attention back to her. She was in pain from all the moving about. He settled her as gently as he could into his bed there. His mind jumping about as stress built. Faelin took his hand and he sat with her. Then she reached up and touched his brow. Her tattoos began to glow softly as balance and calm flowed through Zuko. He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll be back as soon as I know what is going on." She nodded and released his hand.

He came to the mats of the dojo with everyone. Bao Li had also joined them.

Travahar looked over at Zuko. His eyes were hard and the green cold as stone. "Sun Fei is dead."

Zuko took in a sharp breath and sank into a kneeling position on the mats. "When? How?" _Gone?_ He wasn't sure what to say. He had only just gotten to know her, to like her. She was a friend. He stared at the space of floor in front of his knees. _She died researching illegal things for me._ He curled his hands into fists as he clenched his teeth.

"Dai Li most likely." Travahar continued. "She must have found something particularly interesting. They searched her room for any further notes. It is a good thing they hadn't searched Hwa Lan's. Although, they are likely doing that as we speak."

Hwa Lan gasped. Travahar rested his hand over hers. "I want Hwa Lan to stay here. She can help tend Faelin. She's a medic. I want her safe. The Dai Li have been taking action around the king but not with his orders since the tournament. Sun Fei was likely taken out then as she was supposed to meet us there and didn't."

"She can take one of the empty rooms upstairs," agreed Mu-Tan. "We should start to take some of our own actions. You need to be on that throne. The council of five generals can be called this evening. They have some good progress news for the war. They finally have your cousin's consent. Bao Li will get more information when he goes to the temple. Travahar? Can you tap the White Lotus for us and see what is going on with the Dai Li?"

Travahar nodded and squeezed Hwa Lan's hand reassuringly. There were a couple errands that he wanted to do in the upper ring. Although, now he had to be more careful. "And the red lantern healer I spoke of earlier? You took out Fong and his operation. Is she alright?"

"She's fine. Ling is meeting up with her in an hour and getting some supplies with her. She'll also be here," explained Mu-Tan.

Hwa Lan felt a little lost in this discussion and a lot in shock from the loss of her best friend. However, when Travahar suggested she go upstairs so they can work things out she didn't move. Travahar was momentarily worried that serious shock settled in and he would need to carry her upstairs. "No," she said firmly. "I am part of this now. Don't leave me out. Besides… I know a lot of people. They can be of help. Not everyone agrees with the status quo, they have just been too scared to do anything. If they have some good plans and assurances, I am certain we will find allies in places we did not look before."

Travahar smiled at her recovery and masterful mind. _Yes… I made a good decision. Marrying her will be the best thing for me and this nation._

"What about my uncle?" queried Zuko.

"He needs to stay where he is. He is in a good position to hear things and to take action." Mu-Tan gave Bao Li a nod, who then got up and bowed to the group. Bao Li left for his cleaning of the temple. Mu-Tan continued. "Ling? Get what medical supplies you can. And stock up the weapons. Tell the forge that we are preparing to train our students now in weaponry and we need the finest. He'll know what I mean." Ling too stood and bowed. His errands were clear, to get supplies and see the old waterbender to here.

Some of the afternoon students began to arrive then and Travahar and Hwa Lan retreated to the kitchen. Mu-Tan put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "You have the first hour of class with them. Just review. I'll take over and then you can go check on your uncle. Faelin will be fine here. An art of nobility is to look like nothing at all is wrong and carry yourself with grace and poise. I'll meet you in the basement for dinner this evening."

Zuko stood and lifted his chin. He took a steady breath and greeted each of the students entering. Several of them asked how his girlfriend was doing and he politely answered that she was doing much better. Then he snapped them into focus and began the warm up sequence with them.

Some stressed words of concern were exchanged between Travahar and Hwa Lan. In the end, she scribbled a list of names of people for Travahar to speak to and then she took some tea from Mu-Tan and brought it upstairs to Faelin. Travahar left with a brief glance to Zuko who ignored him to focus on normalcy and training the class. Mu-Tan went upstairs to prepare rooms for the new guests.


	83. Chapter 83: TALES Where is Everybody?

Chapter 83: Tales: Where is Everyone

_**Chapter 83: Tales: Where is Everyone?**_

_**Tale of Bao Li**_

Bao Li shifted the satchel over his shoulder. He stopped in to his official work at the job and news centre in this district of the Lower Ring. He had a couple new employees. They seemed to be handling things well. "Hey Boss!" called a young man that Bao Li insisted cut his unruly hair before working. The compromise was to have his hair washed and tied back neatly. _At least he can read and write and is friendly with the locals and new refugees._

Bao Li's smiles were reserved for the commoners. He came to collect any messages marked his own when a child, a little girl really of maybe six years of age, good age to be in school and friends with that little Ty-min, clutched his wrist. "Shiny! So pretty! Daddy? Does evy-one get one?" She was referring to the thin silver band on Bao Li's wrist.

"Oh I am so sorry Boss!" the young man claimed his little girl and pulled back to a table behind the counter. "Back to your writing, sweetheart."

"We'll talk about this later," said Bao Li with a raised eyebrow. He didn't expect the man to bring his daughter in to work. "I am on a tight schedule." He frowned a moment at the seal of a note with his name on it. That one he tucked inside his vest.

"Boss… I'm… I'm really sorry. My wife, she be sick is all and I couldn't'a leff my girl there unattended."

He sighed. "It's alright. We can make other arrangements. And at work, you are to talk as you write. People expect you to use that good education you got from the Ton-wei school up north."

They never discussed that it had been burned to the ground by the Fire Nation along with the town and most of the people in it. "You going to that temple again, Boss? Is it pretty? Can anyone … um… pray there?"

Bao Li turned the silver band on his wrist. "It will be pretty when I get there and clean it. And I'll leave you a schedule and give you some time off if you want to pray there. But be discreet."

The young man nodded and understood the meaning.

On the stone tram to the temple, Bao Li reviewed his notes. One of the generals would be at the temple to make offerings. Good opportunity.

He remembered the first day he saw the temple.

_He was with his family. They were merchants in the Middle Ring. Children ran about the temple and played, orphans and family kids being watched by the Sangas and Bikkus (the monks and nuns of the temple). His mother entered to make offerings in the name of her recently deceased husband. He stood all in white before a large bell that rang out to the spirits. At the age of nine he could barely touch the cord for the bell. When he rang it for his mother, the sound of prayerful chanting rose in the wake of the gonging. Both vibrated through his whole body and touched his spirit. "Mama… I want to stay. Can I stay? Can I protect the spirits here? Like daddy protected the village out there?" She had shushed him for talk of the war was forbidden in the walls of Ba Sing Se, even then. _

_A young priestess had overheard and touched just under the boy's chin. Standing behind her was a tall man with broad shoulders. The priestess looked over her shoulder to her young guardian. Then back to the boy's mother. "We can train him. The spirits already call him. He is a bit older than we usually take in, but we can make an exception."_

_He started his training under Mu-Tan the very next day. At the age of fifteen, he swore his vows to the protection and care of this very temple._

Bao Li sighed and scrubbed the surface of the grill over the offering well. He would go down below later and collect the offerings and put them into the coffers for the upkeep of the temple before he left. The bell rang almost deafeningly beside him. He plugged an ear with a finger. He wanted to keep at least one ear still functioning as the other was already deaf from the bell. General How made a generous offering into the well and rang the bell again. His generous offering included a paper he stuffed in the grill. This was common. People often wrote their prayers and wishes and gave them with their offerings of coin.

Bao Li waited till the temple was empty of people and pulled the paper free, along with any others from other people. There was now a priestess in the dojo. At least the proper prayers can be made to the spirits for these wishes of the people. He finished the last of the cleaning in the temple, watered the plants and neatened the rock garden. Then he used the hidden passage of the monks to the depths of the well. It was all metal so no earthbenders would have access. He ran his fingers down the ancient carvings that told the myth of a dragon that lived in the rock foundations of the city and would awaken only when the true royal tiger of earth came to it with a gift of a spirit-touched cherry blossom. Old myths that always made him slime. The avatars of the earth used to commune with the dragon in the old days, so the myths tell. But there has not been an avatar for so long. He wondered if this dragon really existed. He wondered if there was such a thing as a royal tiger in the royal bloodline. He doubted the dragon, if real, would awake now with the state of things. He doubted it would commune with the current avatar. _It has likely forsaken us._ He collected the other paper scraps and all the coin. _More likely, if it woke, it would probably tear this city down and wipe it flat to make way for a new civilization. I would if I were such a powerful spirit made manifest._

In the privacy of the well bottom, Bao Li opened the note from the general. It laid out the current plans and movements of troops among the newly allied forces against the Fire Nation. _If only we can get our two wayward princelings onto their respective thrones, we might be able to make some proper changes in this fight. Great spirits, hear my prayers. Help us put Travahar onto the throne._ He huffed a great sigh and locked the coin, including his own offering into the coffer. He had been instructed to burn the prayers. He always did, only after he took the time to read each one. He pulled on his cloak and made his way back in the darkened streets as the icy rain continued to pelt at him.

_**Tale of Ling**_

Ling was always so quiet. He walked among the refugees in the rain. Bao Li would be joking with people he passed. Ling? He gave quiet nods if anyone met his eyes. Most didn't unless they had a child in the dojo classes. He kept to himself. He thought with mild amusement how he and Bao Li were so opposite. Bao would be vocal and jovial in public, giving the impression of a friendly man. But in the meetings with the few Qin Maru left, he was almost brooding and silent. Ling turned the silver band on his own wrist. _ I lighten the mood in our meetings._ Yet, in public, he was less certain or comfortable.

He helped lift a basket onto a rickety cart for a woman in the fruit market. He had eyes the mix of brown and gold. He smiled back at her and then shied away. She reminded him of his wife. They too were refugees when they arrived in Ba Sing Se. It was only a little before the 600 day siege. He had met her on his travels with Pakku from the Northern Water Tribe. Pakku had lost both things he cared about (a sacred artifact he was going to devote himself to that was destroyed by Fire Nation troops and the woman he loved) and had become a fairly sour and serious teacher. He had pushed Ling hard in the Qin Maru training. Today, Ling sympathized with Pakku.

The Fire nation priestess was on the run with some acolytes. She was young and their temple had been desecrated by laws to eliminate religion in the main cities of the Fire Islands. She had taken refuge in a small abbey that made perfumes. He couldn't take his eyes off her exotic looks. Her dark hair, her snow white skin with the slightly golden hue of being in the sun, her brown eyes that were flecked gold and amber… and he was fascinated especially with the delicate tattoos that entwined like wine droplets around her wrists. The Fire Nation attacked that same day to break his reverie. Pakku and he and another apprentice fought them off. Pakku chose to return home after that. Ling and the other Qin Maru apprentice wanted to stay and protect the priestess. However, a mortal wound shortened the life of the other man. Pakku, in the presence of the nuns of the abbey witnessed Ling's vows to be the priestess's guardian. He had followed her everywhere. All over the colonies and even back into the Fire islands to arrange for others to get out to safety into the more distant temples or into Earth Kingdom temple.

It was not long before his love along with his bond to this priestess grew strong and they wed. As things grew dangerous, they retreated behind the walls of Ba Sing Se. Mu-Tan took them in. He had explained the situation of the temples and how even there, they had no real place to hide. Mu-Tan had lost his priestess and son soon after. It was a small joy when Ling and his priestess had a daughter. Ling looked up into the rain. It soaked his bald head. The few Qin Maru that stayed with Mu-Tan were part of the family that raised Kozue. She was such a gift. Her grace and skill, her intelligence. She learned with great speed and could fight martially. She had a fine grip on the moves of all four elements. Ling taught her water moves. Kaozue's mother taught her the fire moves. Mu-Tan taught her the earth moves. Together they taught her some of the air moves that were passed down to them. Ling was so proud of her. She begged to be marked with her heritage at her womanhood rite. After her first mensus, Ling allowed Mu-Tan to take her for just that. He didn't expect her to come home with the Fire Nation flame tattooed between her shoulder blades. It was the first fight Ling had with Mu-Tan. _"But daddy… I got the water symbol too... see? I balanced my lineage. And they can't be seen unless someone is going to undress me!"_ Ling thought he would just die and wished he had had a boy. She had the water tribe symbol tattooed around her little navel. Grey hairs, she would give him so many grey hairs, he was certain at that very moment.

She then asked if she could be Qin Maru too, like her father. After some discussion, they agreed to try. He was again proud of her and grateful she was a girl. Although, he was certain she would still give him grey hairs. He and his priestess wife taught her all about the root chakra. Kozue's mother then started to discourage the training. Ling didn't understand why. Kozue was a fine martial artist at the age of thirteen, and they could go through the chakras slowly over the next couple years with her. He didn't see the warnings his beloved saw in their daughter. Ling ducked under an awning for a moment to shake the rain from his cloak.

He regretted ever convincing his love to let them take Kozue through the rites. The rain pattered icily on the awning. Something snapped in Kozue during that rite. It was the realization that she had no fear. A darkness flowed like a serpentine spirit through the tapestries. Kozue wanted to embrace it. Her mothers attempt to keep Kozue from doing so ended in tragedy. It happened so fast. Ling couldn't cross the room fast enough before blood was spilled and he cradled his wife in his arms as she died. Kozue refocused and went into shock for weeks. When she awoke, it was like nothing ever happened. She laughed and teased and sparred. She rarely asked about her mother. Although, now Ling could see what he was blind to before. Mu-Tan took Kozue under his wing and trained her in other arts. Ling could no longer deal with the incident or his daughter. He missed them both, the sweet child Kozue was and the courageous woman his priestess was. He had shaved his head at the funeral. To this day, he kept his head shaved in memory of his losses.

Now Kozue was deep in Fire Nation territory, being a spy and an assassin. She was good at both, frighteningly good at both. He still worried about her. He became such a quiet man after that fateful incident. He did as he was told by Mu-Tan. He was grateful Mu-Tan kept him busy. He had no idea what he would do otherwise. Likely, he would get on a boat and let the ocean claim him.

A woman near his age gently rested a hand on his wet forearm. He turned to see who it was. Blue eyes met his own blue eyes, "You must be Ling," she said in a velvety voice. "I am a little early. Is that alright?"

He looked away from the waterbender from the Red Light house. Travahar had said she was pretty, though really too old for his personal taste. It was meant as a tease to Ling. "I have to run an errand to the Bladesmith," he said quietly as he averted his eyes.

She took his arm smoothly, "Then let me help a bit." Her other hand flowed in front of them and the water was drawn away from his clothing. He suddenly realized how much he missed his true home. She turned to face him, concern in her eyes, "You are so troubled. I can feel it in the water of your being. When we get to wherever I will be staying, I'll give you a massage and ease you some, I hope."

Ling suddenly turned red even across his balding head as he stammered, "I… you… I don't… you needn't…"

She chuckled. "Silly man. I won't service you. I am free. I offered you a massage. It is the healing technique I learned from my home island up north. I can see you too are Water Tribe. We can share some of our history. Everyone needs someone to talk to, Ling. Even a quiet man like you."

Still blushing and feeling caught off guard, they walked on to do the errands that Mu-Tan asked of Ling. He quietly vowed to bruise Mu-Tan much when he got the chance. And yet, the feel of a woman on his arm after three years alone, felt… reassuring.

_**Tale of Travahar**_

Travahar returned home as though he had simply had lunch in a restaurant with Hwa Lan while the rain fell with a chill. The grey sky mirrored his mood though. His adoptive mother was eyeing the family pai sho board as Travahar passed. "Mother? You can't possibly think you can win, do you?"

"Afternoon sweetheart, was your lunch good with Hwa Lan?" she asked in her usual gentle voice.

"Lovely. She has another exam coming up. I think if she does well, we should host the next social event." This was idle conversation in case anyone was listening in. He turned a tile over on the board. "The sun has fallen."

"Oh no!" The woman moved two wheel tiles to flank the now defunct tile. "That would have been a very useful piece. I guess I will have to do a clean up of that section of my board," she said in mock sadness.

Travahar placed a new tile on top of the defunct tile. "The wheels keep turning and change happens." The tile was a serpent coiled around a staff. "You might still want to move in and clean that section of the board."

She sighed. "Why must you complicate things?"

"Because my heart is so deeply involved in this game." He kissed her cheek like a good son. "I'll be heading back to the dojo for dinner. I want to sit with the other students and talk about the competitions." That statement of course necessitated a change of attire.

His adoptive mother walked away from the board after moving two more tiles around the new game piece. She then wrote a note and considered it. It wasn't neatly enough written. So she crumpled it up and rewrote it. She then sent a message runner with the neater note to her favorite doctor for women's private issues. Hwa Lan's parents would likely arrive by the evening for her private appointment. The crumpled rejected note she handed to a staff member on her way out of the writing study. He bowed and quickly removed the trash, his eyes darting across the paper.

An hour later, Hwa Lan's dorm room was broken into and everything of value and some things that weren't were stolen neatly and quietly by a couple earthbenders who slipped away like the thieves they were and quickly pretended to be students to blend in with the school crowd and make their get-away.

Travahar wandered through some of the finer tea shops and sat for tea in the Jasmine Dragon. That was just brief to say hello to Iroh and be congratulated again for winning the championships. That drew a good deal of attention. He autographed many notebooks and scraps of paper with a pleasant smile.

He hopped the stone tram to the Middle Ring and looked in several merchant shops. He scanned the jewelry sections as his mind wandered.

_Calming and getting a bit more serious, "I prefer one thing at a time... and really prefer exclusive attention." Travahar kissed her cheek lightly and whispers into Hwa Lan's ear, "I really mean that I want you by my side... forever."_

_The cart rolled to a stop._

_She shivered, the words sinking in. "Are you asking?" She dared not assume._

_"Yes," he whispered, thinking he was never so sure of anything more and then stepped out to help her from the cart. "You need not answer now. I have nothing with me to be formal about this."_

_She stepped out with him. Just this morning she wanted nothing more then to walk away from him. And now? "Ask me again, later," she said softly._

He made a few purchases; supplies he thought might be needed by the new people in the dojo. Some clothing for the waterbender was very necessary. She had nothing left after leaving that Red Lantern house. Some supplies he knew she could use for massage. He smirked and wondered if she had taken his advice and offered Ling a massage. He selected a delicate oil blend of water lily and lavender. His smirk broke into a mischievous grin.

After a few hours, he was burdened by several bags. The more delicate items he tucked into his vest pocket and hurried to a cart. He was almost late for the pai sho tournament. He'd missed so many now that he was certain his name was no longer on the championships list. Sitting in the cart he removed a small silken pouch from his vest. The item inside tumbled into his hand. He admired the delicate engravings on the band and the tiny emerald stone. "It's later now," he whispered to himself. "And this time I have something with me to be all formal. Please don't say no." He slipped the ring back into the silken pouch and tucked it again into his vest pocket as the cart pulled up in front of the tea house for the tournament. He gathered his bags hurriedly and rushed from the cart to the doorway to avoid getting too wet as the rain came down a bit harder.

_**Tale of Tea**_

Once the class was over and Zuko bowed to his teen students, he headed up to check on Faelin. He still didn't know what he was going to do. She was pregnant with his child. His! He opened the door and was intercepted by Hwa Lan.

"Oh no.," she blocked his entry. "I am bathing her and about to redress her wounds. It is inappropriate for you to come in on her like this."

He resembled a fish as his mouth opened and closed several times. He wanted to be honorable and respectful, but then again, he had seen Faelin naked lots of times while helping care for her the past couple days. He wanted to protest to Hwa Lan. However, Hwa Lan was not going to budge. "Fine. I have to go to my uncle's Tea House for a bit then I will pick up Ty-min on my way back." He was starting to turn away when he paused. "Hwa Lan, how did the waterbender do? How is Faelin?" Despite his efforts to sound strong, his voice was laced with concern and worry.

Hwa Lan smiled. "I don't know where you found a waterbender, but that saved both their lives. Faelin is going to be ok. I will take very good care of her. I promise."

"The waterbender, her name is Katara. She's from the Southern Water Tribe and a very good fighter as well as a healer. She came with the avatar." Zuko felt the need to honor Katara with some formality, even if she wasn't here at the moment. "She might come by tomorrow." With that he departed for the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se.

He walked smoothly to the apartment there and changed into nicer clothing for this area. In the Tea House he was greeted by his uncle with a huge hug. He made an embarrassed and uncomfortable expression, "Uncle, people are watching."

"So! You are a champion and going to be a father!" Iroh wanted to shout it to the entire Tea House… for the hundredth time today.

"SHHHhhhh." Zuko hung his head a bit and sighed, "you are so embarrassing."

His uncle cheerily clapped him on the shoulder. "How is she doing?"

"We moved to the dojo." Zuko thought a moment and considered a risk, "One of the students arrived distressed today. Her friend Sun Fei has disappeared and is likely dead. Otherwise, we are all fine. I couldn't pay the rent so Mu-Tan invited me to stay at the dojo."

"NEPHEW!" Iroh was horrified. He was greatly concerned about the girl's death. Outwardly, "You should have said something. I would have loaned you money. Or you could have stayed with me."

"Ty-min has school there." Zuko said flatly as he took up a tea towel and notepad to take orders. Although, in the very busy crowd of the tea house, he spent as much time autographing the orders on the notepad for people as he did taking orders.

He turned and almost bumped into Katara. She stumbled through saying hello and trying to remember what name he was using. "Lee," he proffered.

"Yes, Lee. Hello." She was not sure what to say here and was starting to worry he would slip back into the sour and dangerous Zuko she once knew now that Faelin and the child were not around. "I… um… came for some tea. How is your girlfriend?"

"Don't call her that out here," he whispered fiercely as he directed her to a table.

Katara snatched her arm from him with an annoyed look. "What are you so worried about? You are the one who put yourself on display at the championships. I just want to know how she is."

Zuko stared at his shoes. "She is doing ok. Hwa Lan is caring for her at the dojo." He scribbled something on the notepad and wandered off. A moment later, he returned with tea. He set it down with the note as though it were the bill.

Katara sipped the tea and put some money on the table for Zuko. She glances at the note as she sipped and nearly choked as she gasped.

_Katara, thank you very much for the lives of those I care more about than my own life. Please be careful. I am still… wanted. I don't want you in danger too. Please understand, I have changed. Don't be afraid of me. I will never hurt you. I am on your side._

She looked up from the note, but Zuko was already gone and serving others. She tucked the note in her pocket and sipped her tea with greater respect than she would have before. At that moment, she made a decision. Aang needed to learn firebending. Iroh and Zuko would be perfect to help. _Sokka will kill me._ She shrugged to herself as she sipped the last sip. _Whatever, he'll get over it. Sokka owes me anyways for letting him go out to see dad._

In the back, Zuko almost bellowed, "No no no! You can't brew it like that! Tea is not just boiled leaf juice!"

Iroh smiled and nodded to Katara as she was leaving and then grinned very broadly as he overheard Zuko chastising one of the cooks about how to properly brew a particular tea.

_**Tale of Faelin**_

She laid in Zuko's bed in the room above the dojo. It was soft and warm. When she turned her head into the pillow, she could smell him there. She remembered the few days she stayed with him there and touched her belly in wonderment. _I carry his child from those nights. I carry… our child._ It was not planned on and was dangerous to have known. She was grateful that the waterbender in the Red Lantern House kept her secret as long as she could.

Faelin breathed slowly through her own chakras to feel balanced. It was something she did more and more these past few weeks. She prayed for the gods to speed her healing. It was hard not to feel overwhelmed by the pain.

A young woman entered the room briefly with some tea. "Hello, my name is Hwa Lan. I am a friend of Zuko's." Faelin turned quickly, uncertain since no one called Zuko by name out loud where others could hear. "Easy," soothed Hwa Lan. "I am an apprentice doctor. I am here to help. I brought tea, willowbark and poppy tea for the pain. I will bring in a bath too for you. Will you allow me to check your wounds?"

Faelin was a bit wary; she didn't really know Hwa Lan. The woman knelt by her and carefully checked each bandaging and wound. She undid the bandages and helped Faelin to sit and drink the tea. Faelin tried to gesture and looked over at her journal.

"After the bath, the pain relief tea should have settled in. I understand from Mu-Tan that you … um… can't talk. May I see?" She meant it to be a medical statement that she wanted to verify the healing there too, but winced at how her tone made her sound curious. Faelin showed her the silver bolt through her tongue. "It is metal… If it can be removed… do you want it to be?"

Faelin looked at her wide-eyed. She could not believe that it might be possible.

Hwa Lan smiled, "I think I know someone who can remove it. Then maybe we can work on you talking again. And maybe… get these … these…" She hated to say it. "No one should ever bear bands of slavery! I don't care what they call it these days. It is wrong. The new king of the Earth Kingdom will outlaw such practices. I promise." _If Travahar knew what was good for him, he had better do this._

She pulled in a large bath basin and prepared a bath for Faelin. She frowned at the gashes and scars and bruising. She winced with Faelin every time Faelin flinched. Hwa Lan was careful though. "I will arrange to have a better pain relief medicine for you."

After the bath, Faelin was rebandaged and tucked back into Zuko's bedroll. This time, she had her journal. She didn't write so much in it as draw some pictures and make small cryptic notes for herself. She was trying to remember her temple training. It gave her something to do. She flipped back many pages to an earlier entry and read it to herself.

_As much trouble as you experience, as much change and challenges, your honor shines with every word and choice. Make them carefully. I have the greatest faith in you. And we have something more than worth fighting for. Not just the world… but a family. I thought about being rid of it. But I couldn't. I love you too much. And love that we will bring forth life. Life and hope. Come for me soon. Take us away. Free us from this. You have the power. You have the strength. I know you can do it._

She flipped through the journal again and traced the lines of the rough sketch she had drawn of Zuko.

On a clean page she wrote:

_My love,_

_You are that. I am not eloquent with words, but I think they are fair enough. I have seen you grow and change and become an incredible man, one I am very proud of. Ty-min is lucky to have you as her father figure. You make a wonderful father. Be sure to thank your healer friend for me. I was ready to let go of this life, but the life in me was not. I am glad to be alive. I wish you were here now so I could just hug you as fiercely as I can. Your friend Hwa Lan is nice. She is a doctor in apprenticeship. But I guess you know that. Now I am rambling. I wish I could talk. There is so much I want to say to you. Like… thank you… and… I love you._

She closed the book Zuko gave her as a journal and set it on the floor beside the bedroll. The tea was now affecting her and the pain eased, but it also made her drowsy.

**Tale of Hwa Lan**

Hwa Lan stepped out of the dojo, and peered up at the darkening sky. Its going to rain, she thought, with a sigh. _I should hurry. _She made her way through the busy little streets towards the herbalist's shop, so she could pick up some more supplies for her new patient. _My first real patient, and I haven't even graduated from my medical courses yet._

Faelin's wounds troubled Hwa Lan, but not as much as the silencing did, or the slavery bands. She promised herself, for the fifteenth time since that morning, that she would push Travahar into banning such practices from ever happening again. _When he is King, he can change so much and so can I as his wife...as his Queen...Am I really going to be Queen of the Earth Kingdom? Am I dreaming?_

She wished with all her heart she could talk to Sun Fei about it. Sun Fei would have known exactly what to say to make her feel giddy and confident at the same time. Sun Fei would have thrown her an amazingly elegant engagement party; there would have been dancing, and fine kimonos and all the fancy posturing of the noble courts. Sun Fei would have helped her pick the most stylish wedding dress, and helped her with her makeup and hair, so that on her wedding day she'd be the perfect bride. _But none of that will happen. My best friend is gone. Killed. And maybe...maybe I'm next on the Dai Li's list._

Hwa Lan paused in a doorway, trying to keep herself from shaking. _I can't fall apart now. I need to be strong. There is so much to do, and time is short._ She took a few deep breaths to ground herself, and continued on her way to get more medicine for Faelin.

She kept her business at the herbalist's as short and sweet as she could. She put on a polite smile and played the social butterfly as she always did. Why did she need these supplies? For her courses of course. No one would ever question that. She thanked the herbalist for his help, and promised to pass along to her father his warm regards as always.

She knew many of the merchants in this district from dealing with them on her father's behalf - when she was young, her father had once told her how he'd been born in the lower districts. And while he was a wealthy man now, he had had to work hard. It was through clever trade that he had made his family's business prosper and grow, until they were wealthy enough to move to the middle ring, and to buy themselves into the nobility. He had taught her to always hold herself up with pride, that even though she was not born a noble, she was more clever for having had to work for what they had. He would be so proud, she knew, to learn what she was doing for her kingdom. For her love. But she couldn't dare draw him into the danger that was all around her all the time now. Couldn't tell him who she was going to marry, not yet, and that they were going to change the kingdom together.

Thunder crackled over head. Hwa Lan looked up at the sky and murmured a soft "oh no..." just as the sky opened, and it began to pour. She ran for cover, but was soaked through within moments. Her kimono grew heavy with water, and she tripped on its hem, on the cobblestones. She stayed there, trembling for a few moments as the storm poured over the city. _Maybe the storm can wash this city clean of all this danger and death..._

Oh Sun Fei... I miss you so much...

She picked herself up and made her way back to the dojo, a soaked mess. No one would know she'd been crying. It was just the rain on her face, that's all. 


	84. Chapter 84: Weaving the Threads of Lives

Chapter 25: Part 5A: Weaving the Threads of Lives

_**Chapter 84: Weaving the Threads of Lives**_

After agreeing to the new employee working some extra hours, Bao Li arranged for the child to be in the same school at Ty-Min and promised to send a healer to see to the man's wife. The man nearly cried at Bao Li's generosity.

Bao Li shook the rain from his cloak as he entered the dojo. He nodded gravely at Mu-Tan who was preparing the adult students to review their performances at the competitions, review where they could improve and praise them for their strengths. Bao Li handed General How's note to Mu-Tan as he headed for the kitchen and the stairs to the rooms above. Mu-Tan slipped the note into his sleeve to peruse after class. "Bao Li, we meet tonight downstairs." Bao Li nodded again and ascended the stairs to the next floor.

"May I see her?" Bao Li asked the still soaked Hwa Lan. He frowned at the sight of her. "There are training uniforms and a shower downstairs."

"I know," she stated flatly, slicking her wet hair back. "You may look in on her. I'll be back soon with some infused medicine for her pain as soon as I can. I'll… I'll take that shower first." A shower and preparing medicine was a good distraction from her emotions.

"Hwa Lan, I have another patient for you to see later or tomorrow." Boa Li advised. "One of my employees at the job center has a sick wife." He added quickly, "All fees may be directed to me."

She blinked numbly for a moment. "I am only an apprentice."

"Apprentices need practice too," he commented just before he rapped lightly on Faelin's door. He entered without letting Hwa Lan respond to his comment. Inside, he bowed reverently as though he were in the temple.

He stepped closer with head still bowed. "Priestess, I have prayers and wished from the temple I am devoted to. May I leave them with you?"

She opened her eyes sleepily and Bao Li felt instantly guilty. He dropped to his knees, head to the floor. "Forgive me. I am so sorry. I didn't realize you were asleep."

She sat up and rested a hand on his head. Her tattoos shimmered briefly. She held out her hand for the notes. He set the slips of paper into her hands and stood, backing out of the room quietly and closing the door.

Faelin shifted position for more comfort. Her injuries still hurt. She skimmed the notes awkwardly with a bandaged arm and hand. It had been so very long since she did this kind of priestly work and mostly she had only witnessed or assisted her mentors. She took a slow breath through her chakras, meditating and connecting them. Her tattoos shimmered more brightly as she called spiritual strength into her and prayed silently to the gods to hear these people's wishes. One by one, she read them carefully, offering them up to the gods and ancestors. When she was done, she had to lie down again. The pain from each broken bone and internal bruise made it hard to breathe.

Hwa Lan entered, dressed in a dojo uniform that was not her own, carrying an infusion that steamed hot in a bowl. In her wake followed a woman with tanned skin and dark hair with faint grey streaks. She seemed so familiar. Faelin's eyes widened suddenly with recognition of the old waterbending woman from the Red Lantern House. The three sat together for as Hwa Lan helped Faelin sit and drink the infusion and the older woman checked the wounds. Hwa Lan and the woman conferred and shared ideas for healing, ways to help Faelin. "Her friend, Lee, has a very strong waterbending healer coming today or tomorrow. It was her who helped Faelin the most," explained Hwa Lan. The older woman showed Hwa Lan how to use energy meridians within the body and pressure points to dull the pain. Faelin sank back into the bed with relief.

They both left Faelin to rest as Zuko returned with Ty-min. She could barely contain her excitement to be permitted to sit with the teens and adults talking about how they did in the competitions. She felt so grown up and struggled hard to remain sitting, to prove she was as mature as everyone else. Zuko was proud of her for this. He remembered how he learned to sit still at a young age, and the hard hand of his father. He sat still out of fear. Ty-Min sat still out of pure joy and desire to please her elders.

Zuko took advantage of the moment to visit with Faelin and hold her. She slid her journal over to him. "Are you sure?" he looked into her eyes. They held his as she nodded. He opened it to the first page. The simple lines of ink formed a gnarled cherry blossom tree on a hill. "I didn't realize you were so good!" Now he really wished he had spend the extra and bought her colored inks. She leaned her head on his shoulder without answering. The following few pages displayed more pictures with simple graceful strokes of ink and a smattering of poetic lines from various prayers she was trying to remember. It was a peaceful hour for them.

The waterbender and Hwa Lan joined the class in the dojo. Ling watched the older woman through the mirror. She smiled for him, but did not indicate that she knew he was watching. Now and then she would offer advice on how to manage strains and sprains and other common wounds she saw at the competition. Hwa Lan found all this also a good distraction from her emotions.

After the class, Hwa Lan and Ty-min helped Mu-Tan make dinner. Ling and Bao Li met in the basement and cleaned it up, readying it for the meeting. They also brought down some of the maps and notes they had in the rooms above.

A young man entered the dojo and called out, "Delivery… delivery for the Dojo!" Mu-Tan come to see what the unplanned delivery was. The Young man brought in several roughly packed boxes that were damp from the rain and handed Mu-Tan a letter. The letter had a white wax seal with a lotus stamped into it. Mu-Tan paid the man for the delivery and sent him on his way. With a slim knife he had brought from the kitchen in case it was needed for defense, he broke the seal and read the letter.

_Please see that Lan gets these and advise her not to return home or to school till otherwise informed. Guard her well._

A lotus of white chalk was drawn in the lower corner of the page. "Hwa Lan!" called Mu-Tan. She came out of the kitchen, heart in her throat with sudden worry for Travahar who was still not here. Mu-Tan handed her the note. "I'll bring these boxes into a room for you."

She looked down at the boxes once she'd finished reading the note. She was quiet as she pushed the dark hair back from her eyes. "Who sent this?" she asked Mu-Tan without looking at him.

Mu-Tan replied, "It is anonymous. Do you know the seal?"

She shook her head. "No. Nor the writing. No one calls me Lan except my parents, and...Sun Fei. These," she poked into a box, "Some are from my home. But that means..." She looked up. "My parents! I need to go!" She moved to slide past him.

He stepped in her path and blocked her smoothly. "They will not be at home, Hwa Lan. They have likely been taken somewhere safe. The White Lotus have intervened for their and your protection.

"The… White Lotus?" Confusion showed plain on her face.

Ty-Min shrieked, "EEEEE! The rice is hot and crawling out of the pot by itself!!"

Hwa Lan shook her head. "Master, I do not understand...you say they are safe? Who...who knows I am here?"

"I know you are here as does Travahar. The students you were with this evening. And as I can see, so do the White Lotus. They can be trusted." He could feel through the stones of the floor Ty-min doing the dance of a panicky child. "Come now, let's save Ty-min from the rice monster before she screams again and wakes Faelin."

She frowned, not terribly comforted. Mu-Tan said she can trust these White Lotus, but how can she know that? They all believed the Dai-Li to be protecting them too, once. She followed him to the kitchen, but her stomach remained in knots.

Mu-Tan and Hwa Lan contained the overflowing rice. Mu-Tan then carried her boxes up into a room she could use. "I'll finish up dinner while you unpack."

Hwa Lan nodded and looked around the little room once she was left to herself. _Why have these White Lotus decided to protect me? Do they know something of what happened to Sun Fei? Will they support Travahar? _She slowly began to sort through her things, that strange feeling of being lost slowly creeping up on her all over again. Her life was in boxes, packed by strangers. The boxes contained her school work, personal effects and knickknacks from her dorm room and clothing from both the dorm and home. Even some special things from home that few but her family would know were important to her had been packed in a box. Her home was gone. Her parents were in hiding. She cannot return to school. And, Travahar was still not here.

Upon thinking of Travahar, she suddenly remembered that she had seen that white lotus symbol before, somewhere among the notes she helped move from Travahar's secret room to the dojo. She came out from her room to go find those notes, desperately needing to review them. Perhaps they could give her some peace of mind. Several of the notes he had gathered carried a similar seal to the one on her note and were addressed to Travahar directly. She hesitated. It was a horrible invasion of privacy, but whoever sent these may also be those who sent her here. Some notes were even in his own messy writing with the simple white chalk lotus on the bottom corner. Seeing that, she breathed a little easier. Even if she was upset and worried, at least somehow this came from Travahar. And at least knowing so, she could rest a little easier, until she kills him for keeping MORE secrets from her.

Ty-min yelled from the landing down to Bao Li and Ling for them to come get dinner. Mu-Tan would have stopped her but it was too late. Instead, he gave her a plate that she filled by herself to carry up to Zuko as he brought up two more plates, one for Faelin and the other for Hwa Lan. Ty-min plunked herself on the floor with the plate and presented it to Zuko with a smile, "I made this!!" Zuko took the plate in one hand and balanced it on his knee inspecting the glopped rice and squished dumplings. He'd eaten worse. At least he knew Mu-Tan was part of the food making and thus the meal would not kill him. The plate Mu-Tan set down for Faelin looked far more appetizing. "I put lots on the plate so we can share." Ty-min grinned broadly. Zuko could hold up no more against such cuteness and caved in to it completely. Mu-Tan slipped out as the three ate their meal. Mu-Tan returned after delivering Hwa Lan's dinner. He carried in a small bedroll for Ty-min to sleep on later.

Travahar arrived after dinner, a bit wet from the rain, but still feeling a bit smug. He had successfully bought what he went out to buy and had even managed to earn his name back onto the Pai Sho list of champions. It was the best way to have people in the public see him doing what he normally has done. This would help for when he wanted to take over as king. He didn't want it to be suspected, but also didn't want the general public to balk for not knowing him. He hung his cloak and sniffed the air. He slipped off his boots and walked across the dojo to the kitchen where she scrounged like a sneaky child for interesting bits of food out of the pots. He was particularly looking for dessert. His mother would have slapped his hands firmly for doing this. That made him grin mischievously before he finally walked up the stairs and found the room where Hwa Lan was still unpacking.

He is very promptly pelted with a slipper, thrown viciously at him across the room. "Do you have ANY idea how worried I was? Where have you been?!"

He ducked covering his head in case another slipped got thrown at him. "Woah!" This was not the greeting he expected.

"People are going missing...dying! I get this note telling me I can't leave, and all my things sent here, and no one knew anything about where you were!" Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes. She wanted to be angry and yell at him, but the relief that he was okay hit her, and she sank to sitting on the floor, covering her eyes with her hands as she cried.

Anything he was thinking of saying in his defense, or any witty cocky comments were drowned by her tears. "Hwa Lan, you knew I had errands and had to go home for a bit." He knelt down beside her and put his arms around her. "I'm here now."

She dried her eyes. "It's been such a rotten day." She sank into his arms, grateful that he was there. Angry as she was with him, she put her arms around his waist.

"Faelin?" he asked with concern about her current patient, oblivious to the fact that she had a new one as of tomorrow. He seemed also unsurprised to see her personal belongings here in this room.

"Faelin is doing alright. She's resting well enough now. I had to go out earlier to get her medication." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes again.

"Good. I am sure Zuko is pleased and calmer." He rubbed Hwa Lan's shoulders. "I bet all this change has been very stressful." He didn't expect any comment. "I'm glad to see that your things did indeed make their way to you." As she lifted her head to meet his eyes, he continued. "My mother met with your parents for her medical appointments today."

"You could have warned me!" she snapped. "I was so confused, and scared, Travahar."

Travahar spoke as reassuringly as he could, "They are fine, safe... I couldn't warn you. Things had to move fast. People had already been through all your belongings in your dorm room."

She nods slowly. "And she...sent them where?" The thought of people having been in her rooms made her shudder. _If I had been there..._

"I'll know more of where they are when it is safer to discuss it with my mother." He brushed her tears from her cheeks.

"Tell me this will all be over soon," she begged him quietly.

"I really hope so." He held her quietly for a few minutes letting everything sink in and feeling her breathing steadily again.

"So the White Lotus...is that your mother?" she asked while leaning into his shoulder.

"Um..." He was hesitant to discuss them. It was such a many-petaled flower of secrets. He sighed deeply. "The White Lotus are an old organization, actually called the Order of the White Lotus, made up mostly of people much older than I." He paused wondering how much he could say at this time. "I am a relatively young and newish member, almost."

She frowned. "Travahar...you know I hate being kept in the dark."

"I'll tell you more later," he promised.

She persisted, "When?"

"Later… I promise." She gave Travahar a stern look. "After we are married..."

Hwa Lan began to protest and argue, "Do you worry that I will change so much befo--married?" Realization of what he had actually said stunned her.

He pulled away form her and dug into his vest pocket to pull out a small pouch he had protected there. "Lan? It is later now for some things. And this time, I am prepared." He took her hand and put the pouch into it. "Whether I take the throne or no, Lan... will you be my wife?"

She looked down at the pouch, and then at him. She bit her lip for a moment. In that moment of hesitation he tried to explain, "See, my errand out today was very important."

Suddenly, she leaned up to press her lips to his. "Of course I will marry you, Travahar." Her words came between kisses. He was about to say more except the kisses smothered both words and thoughts.

He caught her face in his hands and drew out a slower kiss. When their lips parted he whispered, "Will you try on the ring please?"

She nodded, and peeked into the pouch to pull out the ring, giddy. Into her hand tumbled a delicate golden ring with leaf engravings and a single small emerald stone. On the inside it read _for the queen of my heart_. "Oh!" she looked at it from every angle, admiring, before slipping it on to make sure it fit. He used a little metalbending to shift it to fit her best.

She hugged him tight. "It's perfect! I still can't believe you metalbend."

"Shhh..." He whispered, "You are the only one who knows." She giggles, and hushed. "Are you ready then? Mu-Tan wants to have a meeting about taking over Ba Sing Se… and maybe we will do something for Sun Fei."

She nodded, her happiness slipping away just a little at the reminder of the business ahead, and the recent death of her friend. "Alright."


	85. Chapter 85: Planning Saying Goodbye

Chapter 25: Part 5B: A Coup & a Funeral

_**Chapter 85: Planning – Saying Goodbye**_

The silence in the room coaxed some peace into the hearts of those there. Faelin drifted off to sleep in Zuko's arms before Ty-min, who had climbed into his lap wanting to share in the cuddling. Zuko felt odd and awkward as he struggled with vague memories where he was a child cuddling with his Uncle Iroh. _Funny… disappointing really. My father barely acknowledged me. I was his favorite till I was five years old. My bending was horrible and he was frustrated. Then suddenly without warning, our nice family was torn apart on Ember Island. My sister was just a screaming baby then. One day, he would kiss my mother's cheek, the next day he looked on her with fire in his eyes. They hardly spoke after that. His attention focused on Azula. My uncle would fill the gap of pain and soothe me when my father ignored me. My uncle was always there for me… even when my mother disappeared… especially once my mother disappeared._ Zuko sighed. _I now have a family… of my own…A baby of my own on its way._ Iroh had really been more father to Zuko than his own father had been. Zuko hoped he would be as good a father to his family as Iroh had been to him. He softly brushed his cheek against the sleeping Faelin's head and looked down at a nearly asleep Ty-min. _A family of my own…my fa-- Ozai needs to be stopped before this baby is born._

Once he was sure Ty-min would not wake, he carefully slipped away from Faelin. He held Ty-min with one arm as the other carefully eased Faelin down and tucked the blanket about her. He lifted Ty-min into the neighboring bedroll and tuched her in as well.

When Zuko finally made his way through the quiet dojo and down into the basement, many faces turned to him. A map rose from the stone of the floor as Mu-Tan constructed it with earthbending. It was based off the notes from General How. Travahar and Hwa Lan held a pile of notebooks on their laps from both their and Sun Fei's research.

"So, the Council of Five Generals is busy trying to build a strong offense against the Fire Lord," began Mu-Tan.

Bao Li continued, "We have troops in these locations at the moment." He pointed and Mu-Tan raised stone as markers in those locations on the map. "Some are ready to move now, but they are not really enough."

"We lost track of Azula," stated Ling. "We hoped Kozue would be able to take her out, but Azula went under cover and no one has news of her."

Travahar flipped to notes he marked in various books with Hwa Lan's help. "I have some historical references to the Fire Nation Palace and some astronomical data. I would like Zuko to cross check the palace information I have." Zuko leaned over to look at the notebook and Travahar slid it over onto Zuko's lap. "I also have put word out to the White Lotus that I am ready claim the throne here and that we could use their help. I don't want this coup to be harsh. He IS my cousin and a good man. It must be subtle."

Mu-Tan nodded agreement. "My White Lotus contacts are already on the move."

Hwa Lan now desperately wanted to know about this White Lotus.

"Travahar?" Mu-tan handed over a Pai Sho tile to the young man. "Your formal initiation is at dawn."

Travahar opened his palm to reveal a black marble tile with a perfect white lotus. Things suddenly clicked into place as Hwa Lan realized Mu-Tan was a member of this organization and that Travahar would soon be one too. "What about the Silver Circle?" she asked, emboldened and curious.

"We are only three," explained Bao Li bluntly.

"Almost four," Ling corrected as he eyed Zuko.

Mu-Tan wiped the map flat into the stone and reformed it into a miniature city of Ba Sing Se. "we are almost four." Silver Circle are not part of the White Lotus, though, Hwa Lan, even if some members are both. The White Lotus are a secret society for information that do not actually cling to any one nation. Silver Circle are warriors, guardians of sacred people, places and things."

"The Temples!" exclaimed Hwa Lan.

"There is just the one here," said Bao Li as his brows knit.

Travahar patted Zuko's shoulder sympathetically. "I'm sorry, friend. The other temples are confirmed gone, turned into other things or destroyed. I tried everything and still have no news on those children."

"I know." Zuko's tone was even and flat. "Let's focus on the things we can do now. First reclaim your throne. Then communication across the world with any and all potential allies. The avatar will be back soon. If we can manage these before he returns, and maybe my own throne, then we might be able to turn the tide of this war. If only I could get close to my father again…"

They planned late into the night. Everyone was surprised by Zuko's military mind and grasp of worldly tactics. His knowledge of military movements and of subterfuge was likewise impressive. Although, Mu-Tan knew some of that from training Zuko in the art of assassination. If Zuko could get close to his father, maybe Zuko would be willing to take out Ozai. Mu-Tan figured Zuko would want a shot at his father himself. It would be retribution.

They planned to first disable the Dai Li with the help of some well placed people. Then slip Travahar into the throne room to speak with his cousin. Hopefully, a simple and graceful passing of authority would occur with the support of the Council of Five Generals. Amongst themselves, they decided on a week. One week till they move and claim the throne in Ba Sing Se. The avatar should be back by then and able to help with the invasion of the Fire Nation. One step at a time. Although, they only have until the end of the summer to deal with Ozai.

Zuko pointed out an underground route into the Fire Nation Palace. "Hang onto this. When the time is right, like the eclipse we were just discussing, this might be useful."

As they wound down, Mu-Tan suggested a meditation, some introspection to honor Sun Fei. "You knew her best, Hwa Lan. Would you like to say anything?"

Hwa Lan quietly stepped forward, taking a few slow deep breaths to calm herself. She feared that she would not be able to speak of her friend without bursting into tears once more. "Sun Fei was... she was my best friend, for so many reasons. I think I could say many things about her grace, her charm, her kindness... she never looked down on anyone even though her family is of the highest noble ranks. She always treated those around her with dignity and respect. She was always the first to help out if you were in need, and always the first to notice if you were upset about something. I think… that in part, her giving nature is... is how she came to her end," Hwa Lan had to pause to compose herself, closing her eyes for a moment. She set her jaw and then continued, looking each of them in the eye as she talked, "Whatever it was that she found out was dangerous. She did this for us, knowing that there were risks. That information was significant enough that those dark forces seeking to keep us from succeeding felt that they had to take her life for fear she'd tell someone what she knew. They took her from us, because they are afraid of what _we_ might know, and what _we_ can do with that. They are trying to make us weak, and afraid and small, by taking away someone bright and wonderful who we loved. But _I_ refuse to let them win._ I_ will not be afraid. _I_ will not be weak or small. If they think that I will let the death of my friend, Sun Fei, pass without taking action they couldn't be more wrong! It is for her that I will see this through. That _**we**_ will see this through. For the life she should have had, and for the lives of all those in the city who don't deserve to be kept in the dark. I hope that Sun Fei's spirit will be able to find rest among her ancestors, as we take up her task. I swear I will not let this pass in vain."

Through her somber yet fierce words, the two princes kept stern stoic faces. They might never know what happened to her, Sun Fei was simply gone. They vowed to try to prevent further harm to innocent people. Princes to kings, they could lay down laws and bring in an era of peace not known for over 100 years. If only they could reclaim their thrones.

Hwa Lan gripped onto Trahavar's hand revealed her emotions at least to him. He raised her hand and kissed the new ring on her finger. He was proud of her courage and determination. _She will be an amazing queen._

They retired for the night to their rooms. Bao Li bid farewell to everyone and left for his own home next to the job center. Ling met the blue eyes of their new occupant. Though nothing was said, she followed himt o his room above the dojo, lifting a bottle of massage oil from the pouch at her waist.

On the stairs to the second floor, Hwa Lan stopped Travahar. "Trav? When you are on the throne, you will make things right here, won't you? Keep the Dai Li in check? Outlaw slavery?" She had so many changes she wanted to see, however those two were most important to her.

"Yes, Lan," he hoped once again that it was appropriate to call her by such a familiar name. "The Dai Li will serve us, not the other way around. And no slavery by whatever name will be allowed in my kingdom so long as I breathe."

"Good." She stopped him again at the top of the stairs. "Trav? I know you can bend," she spoke in a bare whisper. "Can you remove the bands from Faelin's wrists and the bolt from her tongue?"

He almost protested. His bending was such a secret, yet she knew of it. She knew. "Now?" he asked.

"Can you?" The hope that flickered there was worth revealing himself. He nodded and they quietly entered a room.

There was an adorable curled ball of a child under a mess of blankets on a small bedroll. Faelin stirred, opening her eyes to see who came in. Hwa Lan knelt near her. "I'm sorry we woke you," she whispered. "We're going to remove the metal bands and tongue bolt," she explained quietly. Faelin sat up so quickly and eagerly that Hwa Lan had to encourage her to be careful so as not to strain her injuries.

Travahar wrapped his hands gently around one of Faelin's wrists. As he drew his hands away, the metal band seemed to liquefy and obey his minute gestures. It didn't burn or even heat up. It didn't cut with sharp edges. These were all things Faelin expected and was relieved by the result, relieved and amazed. The metal slid of smoothly. With eyes wide, Faelin thrust her other wrist forward. Travahar repeated himself till he had freed her of both bands.

Meanwhile Mu-Tan kept Zuko back and had him kneel in meditation in the dojo with him. The silence lengthened peacefully until Zuko gently broke it. "Sensei?" Zuko used this term so rarely that Mu-Tan was honored to be called so. "I'm ready. I'm ready for my crown chakra. Can we do it without Faelin, though?"

"I think you are ready too. Faelin, though, must be there. You cannot afford to potentially be lost in the spiritual state." Mu-Tan gave Zuko a short bow from his kneeling position. "We'll consider this later tomorrow. Let's see how she feels and if she is up to spirit-bending through your rite. Goodnight Huo-Long." He too retired then for the night.

Zuko remained kneeling. _Huo-Long… am I really a dragon? I have so much still to learn. I am ready for my crown chakra rite, but I am not ready to face my father. I need some more firebending training if I am to face him._ Zuko stood and walked around the dojo till he had quieted the buzzing in his mind of tactics and plans. He climbed the stairs head still buzzing a bit. Travahar and Hwa Lan met him at his door. Travahar dropped a large lump of metal into Zuko's hand. Zuko stared dumbly at it as his friends went into another room. _Friends… I have friends, real friends. And what in the nine hells is this hunk of metal?_

He entered his room still rolling the metal in his hand trying to figure out what kind of metal it was and why Travahar had given it to him. When his eyes fell upon Faelin, he nearly dropped the metal lump. He looked from the metal in his hand to Faelin and back. "How?" he dropped to his knees and checked both her wrists. "How?" he asked again. In the silence he asked her, "the bolt too?" She nodded. "Can you talk now?" His excitement almost woke Ty-Min, who mumbled and buried herself more in the blankets.

Faelin shook her head to let Zuko know she couldn't talk. He changed quickly into sleeping clothes and climbed into the bed with her to keep her warm. "Will you eventually be able to talk?" She nodded as she snuggles closer, wincing at the growing aches and rested her head on his shoulder. She moved her tongue around her mouth to explore the now oddness of not having metal through it.

Zuko held her close and reaches a hand over to rest on Ty-Min and warm her too. He breathed meditatively through each chakra. It was easier and quicker every time he practiced. He was eager to complete his training and take his vows. _Vows._ He never thought himself religious or even spiritual before. Yet, he knew in his bones that this was the right thing to do. So much of what he wanted to do with Faelin would have to wait though. She had a long while of healing ahead of her. Zuko hoped Katara would be able to visit and work some more of her Water Tribe healing magic on Faelin.

Hwa Lan felt a mix of relief and awkwardness at having Travahar in a room she was going to sleep in. She grew up learning that it was not proper to have a boy in her room. However, after this day and evening, she didn't want him to leave either. The room felt strange and lonely. Travahar set the notebooks down on a small writing table. "I'll let you change," Travahar stepped out diplomatically.

With shaking hands, Hwa Lan found her warm sleeping gown. _Still yourself, _she chastised her hands and heart. _We are with friends and are safe. So are mom and dad._ She sighed a heavily. Once changed, she sank onto her bedroll and buried her face in her hands. Alone she released the last tears she would for her friend between her fingers. She never heard Travahar re-enter. She hardly noticed that he sat beside her till his arms wrapped around her and drew her close into his shoulder. She unburdened her pain there for a while till her resolve strengthened with his support.

With a gentler and softer than expected voice, Travahar asked, "Would you like me to stay?"

Her voice broke between words, "you—you shouldn't. I'm in—indecent."

"I'll stay anyways… at least till you are asleep." He encouraged her to lie down. He pulled the covers up and over her and stayed till she eventually drifted to deep sleepy breathing. He crept from her room and took the long late cart ride home, back to the life of a noble covering his true identity. At home, he moved a few Pai Sho pieces fortifying his forces.


	86. Chapter 86: Aang's Crown Chakra

The days passed in study and meditation at the Eastern Air Temple's ruins. Aang had grown accustomed to onion and banana juice. Although, he was grateful when other foods were introduced to him. It was all part of the study. Everything was connected; everything had correspondences and related to everything else. Guru Pathik shared time in waves of quiet or waves of humorous discussion. Frequently the young Air Nomad became impatient, wanting to be back in Ba Sing Se. Guru Pathik insisted he have patience and delayed the completion of his training until Aang was ready.

"Is this the last chakra?" Aang asked as he fidgeted again.

"Yes," sighed the Guru. "Once you open this chakra, you will be able to go into the Avatar State at will. And when you are in the Avatar State, you will have complete control and awareness of all your actions."

Aang leaned forward, "Let's do it."

"Soon."

Aang threw his arms in the air and flopped backwards onto his back in frustration.

"Aang." The Guru's voice was calm and patient. "You will be ready when you can stay focused."

It was another few days before the Guru took Aang to the highest tower of the temple. The rook had already been destroyed, burned off almost a century ago. They sat in meditation and fasted till the sky grew dark and filled with stars.

Aang breathed slowly through each chakra from the root to the third eye. "Guru Pathik? Who learns this Chakra stuff? Why have I never heard of it before? The monks never mentioned them. Is it only for Avatars? And how and why did you learn it?"

The Guru blinked open one eye and considered Aang's questions. Then he laughed. "You had more than a week to ask these and you ask them now all at once."

Aang worried that this might delay him again, but he still wanted to know the answers.

Guru Pathik closed his eye and breathed in silent meditation for a long while, perhaps an hour. Every now and then he would wink open an eye to peek at Aang, to see if Aang was focusing. Finally he spoke, "Avatars, wandering Monk-Priests, and Silver Circle Guardians learn about the chakras. I am surprised they hadn't taught you about this sooner. Although, maybe they were waiting for you to be a bit older. Since you were likely not to be a monk or priest, they didn't teach it to you as they might others at a young age. They likely hoped to teach it to you after you mastered all four elements."

"Who are the Silver Circle Guardians?" Aang interrupted. "Are you a monk or a priest?" Suddenly a flash happened in his mind and Aang gasped with realization. 'Wandering Monk-Priest? So… there might be some Air Nomads scattered somewhere?"

With a faint smile, the Guru instructed Aang to breathe through his chakras and refocus. Aang did, easily returning to a tranquil state of meditation. "The Silver Circle Guardians are warriors bound by their spirit energies to protect sacred people, places and things as they are called to. I am not one of them. Now am I an airbender like most Air Nomads or monks. I am a guru, a wandering Monk-Priest and I have wandered here to wait for you. So, yes, there may be others out there. They, however, may not know their heritage. Or, they might be very well hidden from the Fire Nation."

More than satisfied with the answers, Aang pondered them a bit till her finally answered with a steady and sure tone, "Let's do this. I am ready."

The Guru placed a hand on Aang's head and together they breathed six times, once for each chakra. Guru Pathik sat back again. "The thought chakra is located at the top of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. Meditate on what attaches you to this world."

_In Aang's mind, the temple fell away and he was surrounded by only the stars and cosmos. A wavy bridge of light wound its way from where he was into the starry scape. He walked the path curiously till he was confronted with a giant starry form of himself. He was held in his own hands. He thought on the Guru's words, thought of the things he felt attached to. An image of Katara practicing her graceful waterbending forms rose in his mind. She stood in a pond moving the water around her. The image shifted her leaning against a tree alluringly. Aang's heart fluttered as he blushed._

_As the Guru began to speak again, the image of Katara shifted to her facing Aang, leaning closer. Her lips are moving as if she were speaking. The darkness grew in the Cave of Two Lovers. She leaned in for a kiss._ Guru Pathik broke the reverie, "Now let all those attachments go. Let them flow down the river. Forgotten."

"WHAT?!" Aang snapped out of his meditation. "Why would I let go of Katare?! I… I love her." He wanted to protest against the Guru with every fiber of his being.

The Guru tried to reason with Aang, "Learn to let her go, or you cannot let the pure cosmic energy flow in from the universe."

Aang crossed his arms as he snapped again, "Why would choose cosmic energy over Katara? How could it be a bad thing that I feel attached to her? Three chakras ago, that was a good thing!" His arms swung back to emphasize his statement.

Guru Pathik's expression hardened. "You must let her go, "he said sternly.

Aang protested, "I'm sorry. But I can't let go of Katara."

The Guru sighed and spoke more softly, "To master the Avatar State, you must open ALL the chakras. Surrender yourself."

"Okay, "replied Aang reluctantly. "I'll try."

Aang refocused his concentration. Inside his mind he saw mountains beneath a starry sky. The heavens began to spin with great speed, the stars blurred into streaks that disappeared behind the mountains.

Guru Pathik guided Aang, "Now, think of your attachments and let them go."

_An image of Katara appeared, and drifted back toward the horizon to finally vanish with a twinkle of light. The heavens ceased to whirl._

"Let the pure cosmic energy flow," advised the Guru.

_Looking up into the stars, Aang saw an aurora of light. He feels as though he was floating in space above the planet, as the aurora solidified into a radiant bridge beneath his feet once more. Turning from the world below, Aang saw a massive entity standing above the snaking path. It was the same spectral figure of Aang himself, the tattoos and eyes shining with the light of the Avatar State. Aang set off carefully towards it, mouth open in awe. As he neared the feet of the hovering apparition, his own tattoos begin to shine with light. The towering, spectral Aang descended, a sphere of light shimmering between its fingers. Aang was enclosed within this shell, but suddenly he is distracted by a cry of distress. Aang glimpsed a vision of Katara chained to a wall, demanding to be freed. He leapt from the hands of the apparition, and the sphere of light vanished. Behind him, the great entity faded from sight, as he rushed back down the path. It too faded rapidly, until it dropped him to plunge screaming toward the world. _

Aang suddenly jerked from his meditative trance. "Katara is in danger!" He jumped to his feet and ran back through the temple to Appa. He leapt onto a roof and slid part way down for extra sleep.

Guru Pathik tried to catch up to him, calling after him. "No Aang! By choosing attachment, you have locked the chakra!" Aang stopped his run and looked back at the Guru. "If you leave now, you won't be able to go into the Avatar State at all!"

Aang considered this, but only for a second. He then leapt down into Appa's saddle. Guru Pathik closed his eyes mournfully as Aang rode away on Appa as fast as he could back toward Ba Sing Se.


	87. Chapter 87: Silver Circle

Chapter 26: Part 2A

_**Chapter 87: Silver Circle**_

Zuko woke at dawn. His uncle once told him that it was because the sun god Agni had gifted the Fire Nation with firebending that all firebenders woke with the dawn as a reminder to honor the great spirit. He had seen his uncle sometimes just stand before the rising sun and often wondered why. Today he felt the need to do just that. So many things were changing. And yet they seemed so familiar, like he was remembering something long forgotten and had been actually stuck in a long nightmare, to only now awaken to the bright new dawn.

Faelin shifted and whimpered in her sleep. It troubled Zuko. He hoped that Katara would be able to come again. In all the shock of yesterday, he had almost forgotten how wounded Faelin was. Zuko carefully got out of the bedroll and bundled the blankets around Faelin to keep her warm in the chilly dawn. A peak over at Ty-min revealed that she was still deeply asleep.

Zuko crept quietly out into the hall. No one was awake. It was all very quiet. He pulled the ladder down at the end of the hall and climbed to the roof. Mu-tan stepped into the hall in sleeping pants with a small blade in hand. "Just me, Sensai." Zuko didn't need his teacher alarmed for no reason. Mu-Tan nodded and returned to his bed. Zuko opened the roof hatch and pulled himself onto the roof. After closing the hatch, he sat facing east, the direction of the rising sun. He wandered if his uncle was on the balcony of the new apartment above the Jasmine Dragon doing the same. Zuko took slow even breaths and meditated on each chakra. As the sun glimmers over the rooftops and above the wall of Ba Sing Se, Zuko drank in its bare warmth. The fainted firebending allowed him to raise his body temperature to withstand the chill air of this late winter dawn.

While there, he also planned his day and reviewed in his mind the plans of the night before. A moment of distracting realization flickered in his mind. _This is why Uncle does this every morning. He has no one to bother him and can think through everything before the day really starts._ He grinned a little as a memory rose in his mind soon after. It was a memory of when he was very very little. It might be his earliest memory ever. _He stood on the royal tower's open space to look over the palace grounds with his mother. She pointed out to the rising sun, "now Zuko." He shouted to the sun in his small child voice, "THANK YOU AGNI FOR MY FIREBENDING!"_ The memory made Zuko smile as he wondered if this child of his inside Faelin would be a firebender. When other people started their day on the crammed Lower Ring streets below, Zuko climbed back inside the dojo.

He was just encouraging Ty-min to eat something before he would walk her to school just as the door to the dojo opened. Delicate, curious yet wary feet walked in. Mu-Tan greeted the strange woman and found that her name was Katara. He bowed deeply to the friend of the avatar. She asked if Faelin was there and he directed her through the kitchen to the stairs. Katara nodded politely to Zuko as she passed, not wanting to disturb the fatherly moment he was having with Ty-min. She followed Mu-Tan upstairs to Faelin's room. For a second Zuko considered not taking Ty-min to school. Then he mentally chastised himself and escorted her off.

Zuko's day was full of much running around between the dojo and the tea shop for his uncle. He made it back just in time to teach his teen class. He wondered when he suddenly got so grown up. And yet, he couldn't really remember every actually playing like Ty-min does. I rushed back out to get Ty-min from school and sat to have dinner with Faelin while Ty-min babbled to Hwa Lan about school in the kitchen with Mu-Tan. Travahar would be in that evening to take Hwa Lan our for a private evening maybe at the Fountain and Iroh was planning on picking up Ty-min after supper for a sleep-over. Zuko wasn't sure what this was all about.

As he walked in with dinner for Faelin, he nearly fumbled the tray. Katara slipped by him on her way out and whispered, "Be true to your word Zuko. Stay changed." Zuko looked over his shoulder at her as she left and snapped his head back to Faelin.

He could not believe his eyes. She was mostly healed. She sat more comfortably in the bed and motioned him closer. He stepped forward and set down the tray of food. Faelin slid a note over to him. It listed what was still in need of care and healing and what he needed to do and what Hwa Lan needed to continue with. Faelin still had some broken ribs and her arm was still broken in two places, but otherwise, she was doing so well. He reread the note then dropped it and kissed Faelin soundly. He colored at his brash boldness. So did she. "Faelin. You're… Are you? Can you?" He wasn't sure what he wanted to ask first.

She motioned for both her journal and some food. "Oh… right…" he felt ashamed for having forgotten the food and brought both over. Faelin scribbled away in the journal while they shared food. She told him about how wonderful Katara was and how much hope this young healer brought with just the news of the avatar. She also told him that tomorrow, if Hwa Lan says so, she can try walking some on her own. "I'll stay here then. Just in case you need me." She scribbled again that she wanted to be there for his crown chakra tonight, if he was still feeling ready. "Yes," he said firmly. "Yes, I am ready. I think I understand about the letting go."

_You need not cling to me, I am not going anywhere. As everything is one, connected, I am always with you. There is no need to hold onto attachments or to cling to anything or anyone._

What she wrote made sense. He wished she had said this last time he did his crown chakra rite, but she could not speak then and could not stay to explain thing. Maybe, too, he was too emotional and over-reacting to things. His uncle would think him very mature to finally recognize this aspect of himself.

As planned, Iroh took a very bouncy and excited Ty-min back to the Jasmine Dragon Tea House for a sleep over in the apartment upstairs where he would spoil her rotten with fun fruit teas, sweets and bedtime stories all night long. Zuko wasn't so sure this was a good idea, but too late, Ty-min was waving out the cart window as snow flakes drifted down to melt on the cobblestones.

Travahar also came to take Hwa Lan, though not to the fountain as planned. The snow had turned to more icy rain then to ice pellets. Bundled inconspicuous, they returned to his home where she spent most of the evening in a tea room with her parents. Travahar walked away quietly pleased with his surprise for her. He sat at the Pai Sho board with his father as his mother looked over his shoulder. "That is a lovely ring you gave Hwa Lan," commented his mother. "Just don't rush things."

Travahar graced her with one of his so very confident smiles. "I'm not. I will claim the throne first." He proceeded to devastate his fathers forces and claim the throne corner of the board as his father complained about his deceitful style of play. They all laughed and agreed to place a few new tiles on the board.

Late that evening, Zuko helped Faelin slowly down the stairs to the dojo. He was still so shocked with Katara's skills as a healer. He had only every really fought with her and found her formidable and somewhat hateful. Although, he understood. She cared deeply for her friends and would fight and die for them. He admired that. He admired it enough to think that if he didn't already love Faelin, Katara would be a suitable challenge and an excellent Fire Lady or Queen. Then he remembered her father was Chief Hakoda. So, in essence, she was a queen, of the Southern Water Tribes. Faelin paused at the bottom of the stairs which called his mind back from his distracted thoughts. Faelin was certainly a challenge sometimes too, why else would he have nicknamed her Shinzui. He smirked to himself as he considered simply calling her that all the time, just to bug her.

They walked into the empty dojo. Mu-Tan was settling a large meditation cushion on the floor for Faelin and asked again if she felt up to this. She nodded. Ling entered and started to put together his supplies in the corner out of the way. Faelin sank onto the cushion and breathed slowly and meditatively while everyone set up around her.

Zuko went to the basement to retrieve the chakra kits he had used last time. He placed the flat white cushion where he would sit and shook out the banners, hanging them as he had before. He desperately wanted the dinner he did not get to eat. Lunch with Faelin was wonderful, but fasting through dinner was trying, especially since everyone but him had food. He felt that it was a little unfair. Once everything was in place and everyone had their positions, he took a breath, then a few more through each of the chakras finding a stillness and steadiness, finding strength and calm. He removed his clothing for the crown chakra was about letting go of attachments and worldly possessions. That is why he fasted. _I am ready… and I am not attached so much to my clothes, nor my modesty. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of the world. _

With determination, Zuko sat upon the cushion and placed the small silver box upon his lap. He traced a finger around the golden circle then the inner silver circle on the boxes surface. With a deep breath, he focused on the multi-faceted amethyst and still thought it looked like a multi-petaled lotus flower. He then opened the box and removed the contents with some familiarity. "The crown chakra is represented by gold, silver, amethyst, quartz, diamond." He set a vial and a white tea light before him. "The colors are white and violet. The herbs and scents are… frankincense, wormwood, lotus and white sandalwood." Zuko looked to Mu-Tan to confirm his memory.

"Very good, Zuko," Mu-Tan approved. "Are you ready to face yourself?" Zuko nodded. "Before you can bring balance to the world around you, before you can achieve your destiny, you must gain balance within yourself. Our life's experiences lend to our personal growth, but can also hinder us and create blockages. Tonight you will continue to clear out these blockages so you may open your chakras to the level you need to be at for your own personal balance… spinning the wheels of light without hindrance. The last chakra will be your crown chakra. It is located at the top of your head. Breathe six slow breaths and remember the feeling of the open chakras. In… and sense the grounding of the root chakra. Good, navel… solar plexus… heart… throat… third eye." Zuko breathed slowly in time with Mu-Tan vocal instructions feeling the balance settle all through him. "Be warned, going through this rite is an intense experience. As you unblock the wheels of light and allow the energy within you to flow, you cannot stop the process. Once you begin, you must see it through to the end. Are you ready?"

"I am ready," Zuko said firmly. He tried hard not to feel self conscious about his nudity and in a deep breath set aside the feeling. _I am ready._ The only thing he wore were the woven arm bands that Faelin had made for him. Those, he never took off. Ling walked a circle around them sprinkling purifying salt around the dojo.

When Zuko opened his eyes was both surprised and not to see Faelin kneeling before him, her intricate tattoos softly aglow. _Non-attachment… you are always with me, I don't need to hold you or cling to you, because you are part of me and I part of you._ His eyes drifted to her belly a moment and she lifted her chin to draw his focus back to her eyes. _Right… the gods will decide fate. I cannot cling to even this child, but know I will protect it as fiercely as I will protect you._ Fire danced in his eyes.

Faelin poured some of the oil from the vial into her hands and started at his root chakra, anointing it carefully. Zuko tried to ignore the inevitable erection. Faelin anointed his navel then his solar plexus. The erection calmed as he kept his slow steady breathing, focusing on Faelin's eyes as she anointed his heart. He wanted then to kiss her and refrained from that silently, taking a deep breath. She anointed his throat and he whispered, "I am ready." Faelin smiled and nodded. She anointed his third eye feeling the steadiness in him. She prayed he maintained this steady focus for all his days. However, in the back of her mind, somehow doubted life would allow Zuko that. She poured a little more oil into her hands and ran her fingers through Zuko's hair, lingering over the top of his head. The soft scent of sandalwood filled Zuko's senses and hypnotically the rest of the room began to fade from his awareness. Faelin stepped away and sat again on her cushion, drawing strength from her own chakras and praying to the spirits and ancestors, even the gods for the strength to see this through. She was mostly healed, but not very strong. However, she wanted to see Zuko succeed.

Zuko leaned forward and lit the little tea light. Faelin shifted her focus. Mu-Tan's voice vibrated through the stillness, "Can you see the symbol of universal energy?" Zuko nodded. "Create the symbol on the ground around the candle." From the silver chakra box, Zuko lifted handfuls of white sand and meticulously worked on a sand mandala. Not being an artist, this took some time. Sometimes he paused and clenched his fists in frustration as the design was not turning out as he wanted. Then he would sit back take a few deep breaths and continue. Mu-Tan didn't lean over to destroy it repeatedly at every error. Zuko did so himself. The state of trance was smoothly maintained throughout the exercise.

Mu-Tan spoke only once Zuko was finished the sand mandala. "That is the symbol for the crown chakra. Each chakra in our bodies has a purpose and can be blocked by a certain kind of emotional hindrance. The crown chakra deals with self and awareness, thought, cosmic or divine energy. It is blocked by worldly attachments." Mu-Tan's voice was deep and smooth, guiding as it has always been in these rites. "Think of the things you are attached to. Are you attached to this design?"

"No." Zuko's single word was a resolute statement which he proved by wiping away the mandala on his own.

"No permanence." Mu-Tan met Zuko's eyes. "No attachments. Everything is connected, one, and changes. You must let go of the need to cling to things. Let go of notions you cling to, of objects, of patterns, of people. They are already part of you. You can let them go."

Zuko breathed and reminded himself that he could let go of of his need to be Fire Lord or have his father's approval. He breathed and let go of his previous desperate need to protect Faelin or tie her into his life. He pictured the words in Faelin's journal early that day, _You need not cling to me, I am not going anywhere. As everything is one, connected, I am always with you. There is no need to hold onto attachments or to cling to anything or anyone._ He closed his eyes and breathed again. As he opened them, the banners and even the room looked like a deep violet star-scape. Balance and stability flowed down through him. He closed his eyes again and inhaled the sense of that. As he exhaled, he opened his eyes and the room came into sharp focus. He met Mu-Tan's eyes and saw approval.

"You have completed your crown chakra rite. Clean up this space and if you are ready, we will hear your vows." Mu-tan stepped away from Zuko nodding to Faelin. Her tattoos faded and the delicate images in the banners vanished.

"I am ready." Zuko had never felt more ready for anything.

Zuko dressed and packed everything away. When Zuko came back up from the basement after replacing the chakra box where he found it, all the members of the Silver Circle stood in the dojo with Faelin.

Mu-Tan removed something from a small pouch and approached Zuko. He slipped a small silver band around his wrist. "You have come full circle, Zuko. You have mastered some of the martial skills to be a guardian. You have many yet to learn, but Fire and Earth are yours. Most importantly, you have mastered yourself. You have opened all your chakras and balanced them. This silver band is a symbol of your acceptance into the order of the Silver Circle. It is just an object, just a symbol. With or without it, you are still Silver Circle. I understand that your spirit has been called to protect that which is sacred, the reason you have struggled along the path to be such a guardian."

Zuko looked down at the silver band, honored and relieved. He raised his chin proudly. "Yes." It was the same sure answer he gave when Ling asked if he was ready to swear his vows. It was also the same sure answer he gave when Bao Li asked if he knew to what he was swearing these vows.

Mu-Tan then demanded, "Zuko, recite your lineage."

"I am Zuko, prince of the Fire nation under Fire Lord Ozai, son of the Princess Ursa, nephew of General Iroh. I am grandson to Fire Lord Azulon, now past." He continued the recital of the lineage of his line with only a little hesitation trying to remember it all. "I am descendant of the Sun God Agni according to the lineage and beliefs of the Fire Nation." He then hesitated again. "But… I no longer hold to that. I am son to a woman who has gone missing and like a son to a man I admire more than any other. My lineage is nothing for it does not make me a man or define the man that I am. These two people in my life… and those that stand before me now, have had a greater impact on who I am. That is my lineage."

Spoken like a true prince with deep nobility, Zuko's words surprised everyone present. Mu-Tan put a hand on Zuko's shoulder and encouraged him to kneel. "Do you swear upon the very spirit that is you, to be bound through the universe to protect that which is sacred?"

"I do swear."

Mu-Tan continued, "And to what or whom do you swear yourself?"

"I swear to protect the Priestess Faelin with everything that is me to the best of my ability."

Mu-Tan nodded, "Then we of the Silver Circle and the priestess here witness and seal this bond. "Let it be known that from this day forward, you are Guardian to Priestess Faelin."

Faelin stepped in as Mu-Tan stepped back. She touched Zuko's new silver band and then his cheek. Something clicked inside Zuko's mind. It was like a door opening to awareness, the awareness of a bond that was always there really, just never truly recognized or accessed. He realized he could sense Faelin, her presence, the love that flowed back to him from her, the fast fading strength. He sucked a breath with surprise and quickly reached out his arms to catch her as she could no longer stay standing. The other scrambled to be out of the way as Zuko carried her up to their room. There he sat with her just marveling in the sensations of her within him. She held his hand and watched him till the peace of sleep claimed her.

Mu-Tan set a tea down for Zuko by the bed. "I am sorry she was exhausted by this."

"I can… feel her" Zuko sounded shocked and awed.

"Yes. Yes you can. That is part of being Silver Circle. You will know the state and location of that which you are bound. It makes it hard not to love so deeply. It is also why many Silver Circle wed the priestess they are sworn to, and why they are devoted all their lives to this vow." He explained this as he remembered his own bond with a woman.

"Will I need to master all the elemental styles of fighting?" asked Zuko.

Mu-Tan considered this, "When I first trained, I was taken at the age of five and we learned to master all four styles before we ever attempted our chakras. These days, times are very hard. There are so few of us. I have trained you in the basics of the four styles and you have mastered fire and pretty much mastered earth. I hope you will try to master the others in the future. As for me, I will try to teach those I can."

"I am honored you took me on, Sifu." Zuko truly meant it. He just wasn't sure yet how to show his deepest appreciation.

A smile was shared between them and Mu-Tan left Zuko for the night.


	88. Chapter 88: Surprise!

_**Chapter 88: Surprise!**_

Katara was enjoying tea in the Jasmine Dragon. She savored each sip with half-closed eyes and a gentle smile. This was a welcomed break from the meetings with the generals that she barely understood. In retrospect, she figured it would have been better if her brother were here. He seemed to understand all this military jargon. She sighed and opened a scroll that was going to be a letter to her dad and brother about how things were going. She hoped things were well with everyone else. Her thoughts drifted from one friend to the other. Toph was supposed to be with her family. She wondered if that was going to be full of arguments as Toph and her family butted heads about her skills as an earthbender. They had said that they understood. Sokka was meeting with their dad. Part of her deeply wanted to be there and yet part of her felt slightly angry. She didn't quite know why. She was glad she was here. She didn't feel ready to face her father. He had been gone so long. She almost didn't feel a connection to him. A pang hit her heart as she missed her mother. She was much closer to her mother. The horrible memory of what the soldier did to her filled her mind a moment and she shook her head. She sipped her sweet tea to chance her focus. As she started to put ink to parchment, she thought of Aang and wondered if his training was going well, if he completed this mystery training to unlock the avatar state and grant him control of it. She looked up as she tried to think of what to write to her brother. The sun filtered through the window lying about the temperature to everyone. It looked like a warm day, but the chill outside still cut through the cloak. A familiar face passed the window. Katara gasped! _Ty-Lee!_ Furiously Katara wrote to her brother, dropped her coin in a scatter on the table, rolled the scroll and bolted out the door. Iroh frowned from across the tea house and asked one of his new employees to clean the table.

Katara ran as fast as she could to the royal palace. She skidded around corners and up the long staircase to the war room. She complained aloud how ridiculous it was to put a war room at the top of a tower when an emergency needs the attention of the generals. Then she paused to catch her breath. The room was empty. She muttered a curse for all the time wasted to get here for nothing. Of course the generals were not here. Like her, they were likely out having lunch or tea or visiting family or whatever they did on their break time. She muttered another curse and trudged with a quickened pace back down the stairs. Trotting, she picked up speed till she was again running and dodging nobles as she swung open the doors to the royal audience hall to see the king, the message scroll clutched in her hand, panting breathlessly.

She dropped to her knee in respect before the throne. She looked up with some small disappointment that the king was not there. However, with relief, at least Suki and two of her Kyoshi warriors were there kneeling patiently. "Thank goodness you are here, Suki!" Katara stood, not needing to be so formal with her friend. "Something terrible is going on. The Fire Nation has infiltrated the city! We have to tell the Earth King right away! I just saw…" She stopped mid-sentence, her scroll slipping from her fingers, dumbstruck as realization dawned. This was not Suki and her warriors, but Azula, Ty-lee, and Mai. A chill raced down Katara's spine. Momo streaked into hiding from Katara's shoulder to a pillar with a squeak.

Azula gave a tiny nod and Ty-Lee sprang into action, rushing forward with a flip to land behind Katara. A jab and another jab into Katara's shoulders prevented the defensive waterbending from doing more than dribbling out of Katara's waterskin and slop into a puddle on the floor. Katara soon fell with a little splash, her whole body numb with paralysis. She laid helpless there in that water puddle as Azula rose gracefully followed by Mai and the three disguised women stood around her.

"Oh, don't worry," Azula almost purred with delight. "I'll be sure to let him know." Azula knelt low so Katara could hear her very clearly. "I noticed Zu Zu and my cooky uncle are in town too. I think it's time for a family reunion." She stood with a giddy little grin, "Come on girls, lets dump her and prepare for a tea party!"

The Dai Li agents hidden near the pillars collected the rag doll Katara and opened a tile on the floor. They dumped her into a hole lit by the green glowing gems of Lake Laogai's secret underground city. It would be an hour or more before Katara could actually move again. The tile slid into place shutting out all sound and connection to the world, save for a few small ventilation cracks in the cave walls.

-----

A frantic Aang landed with Appa in Chameleon Bay as Sokka and his father were readying a boat for an assault. A chill slid like ice down Sokka's spine when he saw Aang's face. "Katara's in trouble," is all Aang said.

Sokka's dad, Hakoda, patted his shoulder. "Your first duty as a man of this tribe, Sokka, is the first one I gave you. Protect your family. Go. Protect your sister."

Sokka needed no other encouragement. He and Aang were up in the air clinging to Appa's saddle. They spotted a fast moving roll of earth and came close to discover it was Toph, newly escaped from her captors, who were sent by her family to bring her home. The distraction of Sokka yelling down to her ruined her focus and she tumbled into a blind heap. Sokka and Aang winced sympathetically. She too was then brought into the saddle and they flew to Ba Sing Se as quickly as they could.

Many miles away, in Ba Sing Se, the Dai Li assembled in a large hall. They formed up in their ranks like military. Enormous, ancient statues lined both sides of the underground hall. Green crystals glowed softly. Azula was no longer in her Kyoshi disguise. However, Ty-Lee and Mai were. Azula stood on a pedestal on the dais, while Ty-Lee and Mai stood to either side.

Azula's eyes scanned her treasures standing in neat rows. "The Earth King and The Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. They imprisoned your leader, Long Feng. Soon they will turn on all of you, and eliminate you. Seizing power today is a matter of life and death." One Dai Li agent's head dipped slightly and his brows knit with anxiety causing his scar to shift on his face. Azula stepped gracefully down, striding confidently to the agents. "The coup must be swift and decisive. The Earth King, and each of his five generals, must be taken out simultaneously. Long Feng has placed you in MY command while we overthrow the government." Azula's strides brought her to a halt before that one agent. She didn't turn to even look at the scar that ran down the side of his cheek. "If I sense any disloyalty, any hesitation, any weakness at all," she turned to look the man in the eye, "I will… snuff… it… out." She walked back to the dais, the agent following her with his eyes sweating much. "That is all." The Dai Li turned in unison and marched out.

Azula climbs the dais and sits in the chair there as Ty-Lee pours her a cup of tea, "Nice speech, Azula. It was pretty and poetic, but also scary in a good way."

Mai almost grinned with amusement, "yeah. I thought that guy was going to pee his pants."

"There are still a few loose ends." Azula sipped her tea thinking. "The avatar… and my brother and uncle."

In her room, she had a servant scribe take a note down and hand it to a message runner.

The runner arrived at the Jasmine dragon and took but the briefest glance at the stunning green dragon tiled into the floor. He inhaled the scent of tea and called out, "A message from the royal palace!" He walked up to Iroh and bowed deeply, holding out a scroll.

Iroh accepts it and hands the man a coin. The message runner hurries out to deliver his other messages.

A chill went down Zuko's spine and he took a deep breath. The reminder in his soul that Faelin was safe reassured him. He didn't know what she was doing per se, but he could feel that she was doing better than the other day and knew she was still at the dojo. This odd way of sensing her still confused him a bit, but it also excited him. Then why did he still feel like something was very strange. "Who is it from Uncle?"

Iroh stammered, overcome with excitement, "I… I can't believe it"

"Uncle?" Zuko asked again. "What is it?"

The grin he gave Zuko was infectious. "Great news! We've been invited to serve tea to the Earth King!"

Zuko shakes his head with mild amusement as his uncle runs to the back of the tea house to make arrangements. Zuko finishes his sweeping of the tea shop. "Uncle? I am going to bring Ty-min home from school. Do you need me back here?"

"Oh yes!" calls Iroh from the back. "I need you! You and I are BOTH invited!"

Zuko picked up Ty-min so she could train with the other small children in Mu-Tan's children's Martial Arts class. His uncle's excitement was so contagious that he completely disregarded his earlier notion that something was wrong. Instead he took a few moments to sit with Faelin and make sure she was well. He wondered why things in the city seemed so quiet as he made his way back to the tea shop.

Sokka, Aang and Toph arrived too late, or were they too early? They rushed into the palace to the Earth Kings audience hall. He sat upon the throne with his bear, Bosco, at his side. Aang sputtered through his distress over Katara. The Earth king seemed undisturbed as he reassured them that Katara was fine and off in the city with the kyoshi warriors. "See Aang? She's with Suki. They are probably back at our apartment talking about something girly like make-up."

Aang still didn't feel like anything made sense. They walked out with Aang still brooding. Toph had asked how things went with Aang and the Guru. In his mind, Guru Pathic was still yelling, _If you leave now, you won't be able to go into the avatar state at all!_ Aang sighed heavily.

Sokka nudged Aang from his reverie, "Hey there. You ok?"

Smiling sheepishly, Aang replied, "Great. Fine. Everythings went just… great with the Guru. I mastered the avatar state." They walked through the Upper Ring toward their little house.

Meanwhile Zuko hurried back to his uncle for the afternoon preparations to visit the palace. They donned their newest and cleanest robes from the uniforms they had for the tea shop. Iroh fussed over the best selection of tea tray, tea pot, cups and teas. "Uncle! We will be late. They are all good, just choose one tea. I doubt the king has as many teas in his cupboard as you do anyways."

They took a cart to the palace and shoed their royal invite to the palace guards. Once permitted to pass and given direction, Zuko carried the tea supplies, his white apron still pristine as he followed behind his uncle. Iroh had a light bounce in his step as they passed the cut and shaped shrubbery toward the royal audience building. They walked up the stairs to the entrance where Iroh took a white ornate box containing the tea set and tea from Zuko. Iroh glowed as he smiled at Zuko, "Many times, I imagined myself here, at the threshold of the palace. But I always thought I would be here as a conqueror… instead, we are the Earth Kings personal guests, here to serve him tea. Destiny is a funny thing."

Unable to resist his uncle's pure joy, Zuko smiled cheerfully back. "It sure is, Uncle." He hoped his uncle could live like this always. He wished the war were over and they could all have a little peace.

They opened the doors and moved through the halls according to the direction given them. Both take a slow deep breath before they opened the large engraved doors of the audience hall and throne room. With eyes properly downcast, they walk in to the decorated carpet in the middle of the room before the throne. They both kneel as Zuko sets up the little tea tray and table and Iroh prepares the tea. The silence stretched. Finally, Zuko looked up to see the throne empty. They knelt there for several long minutes as Zuko's patience waned, "What is taking so long?"

His uncle glanced about the room, shrugged, "Maybe the Earth King overslept?"

Several Dai Li agents walked into the room. They filed in one by one in a smooth military line and formed a great circle around the two tea servers. "Something's not right," Zuko finally admitted under his breath as his muscles tensed anticipating a fight of some kind.

Firm footsteps are heard from behind as a graceful woman walks around the circle of Dai Li. They parted at the throne to reveal Azula dressed as a royal Earth Kingdom woman with her hair tied still in the royal topknot of the Fire Nation with the heir's metal flame emblem in place at the base of the topknot. She smiled mockingly at her brother and uncle, "It's tea time."

"Azula!" cried Zuko as he stood fiercely.

"Have you met the Dai Li?" she said the patience one speaks to a small dull-witted child. "They are earthbenders, but they have a killer instinct that is so Fire nation. I love it."

Iroh maintained his calm throughout the verbal exchange as he poured a cup of spiced Chai tea the blend he wanted to introduce the Earth King to. He stood with the cup in his hand as if to toast the princess Azula. Zuko had to admire his uncle's composure and took a slow deep breath in an attempt to match that calm and focus. Iroh smiled politely. "Did I ever tell you how I got the nickname of the Dragon of the West?" he asked.

Azula rolled her eyes and spoke as she examined her nails with relative disinterest, "I'm not interested in a lengthy anecdote, Uncle."

Zuko, knowing the store far too intimately from having both heard and seen in far more often than necessary on their travels, shifted his weight, ready to move. "It's more of a demonstration, really," their uncle informed them. Iroh took a sip of the tea. Zuko side glanced his uncle, smirking at the genius of the older man. Suddenly, Zuko ducks behind his uncle just as Iroh inhaled deeply and took a firebending stance. The ex general opened his mouth and breathed a huge torrent of fire at the Dai Li, like a fire-breathing dragon. The Dai Li ducked low and raised stone-gloved hands to shield themselves as best they could.

Zuko silently chastised himself for letting down his guard and not noting all the exits as they had entered. With a fire blast, he burst through a wall into an empty hall and ran. His uncle followed close behind pausing to breathe more fire at the Dai Li before catching up. Frantically Zuko skidded around corners, fear crawling up his legs to settle deep in the pit of his bowels. _I need to get out! I need us to escape. Faelin, Ty-min… need to get them to safety. _A flash of lightening illuminated the halls from farther back where Azula laughed maniacally at her brother's cowardice. Two Dai Li agents crumbled a wall and stepped out just as Zuko and Iroh ran by. They shot small stone bits like bullets from their stone gloves in rapid succession. They narrowly missed the fugitives to embed deeply in the stone wall.

Zuko ran into a dead end hallway and blasted fire at the wall he knew had to lead outside. It was useless the wall was too thick. Iroh stepped forward as Zuko turned to defend against the Dai Li. Lightening lit bright blue at Zuko's back as Iroh used it to break through the wall. He jumped out with a yell as his wide girth crushed a hedge bush below. Iroh grunts with pain as he stands out of the way, rubbing his painful backside.

Zuko nearly followed but then stopped at the edge. _Faelin. My baby. Ty-min. Uncle… She will never stop till we are all dead._ Reigning in his fear with several breaths of resolve, his hands fisted. His uncle called to him, trying to reassure him it was safe to jump, wanting him to hurry and escape with him. "No.," said Zuko firmly. "I'm tired of running. It's time to face Azula!" He turned away from the escape route toward the Dai Li and Azula entering the dead end hall.

Iroh slapped his head in frustration, sighed, and wished Zuko the best of luck in his heart. Then he turned and escaped, sure he could warn others, like Mu-Tan, and perhaps ask for help from the Avatar who needed to know about Azula in the city.

Azula stood casually behind a few of the Dai Li, looking over their shoulders at her brother. "You are so dramatic. What? Are you going to challenge me to an Agni Kai?"

"Yes!" yelled Zuko. "I challenge you!"

Shrugging her shoulders, she brushed a lock of hair from her face. "No thanks," she replied mockingly.

Zuko raised both hands, summoning a large ball of flame, leaned forward and pushed it at his sister. Azula watched calmly as two Dai Li stepped between her and the attack and raised a large, rectangular tile from the floor, blocking the fire blast. Both agents flung their stone gloves at Zuko's feet, trapping him to the floor. Zuko stumbled and placed a hand on the floor, which was pinned down by another glove. Zuko struggled in vain to pull himself free. His mind racing with thoughts of those he loved, praying his uncle reaches them, as his hatred for his sister grew. _She is just like my father, taking everything away from me… from everyone! _Azula turned her back and walked away. Two more Dai Li agents stepped forward and shot their gloves at Zuko. The impact to his head rendered him in the darkness of unconscious nothingness while they dragged him away.

Katara paced the deep cave lit by the green glowing crystals. She looked up at a rumbling noise above. The stone there slid away pouring light like water down the tunnel. A Dai Li agent peered over the edge, "You've got company." He tossed a now mostly conscious Zuko down, who rolled head over heels into a tangled heap at her feet.

Zuko groaned and shook the disorientation from his head. "Zuko!" Katara said with surprise. Her recent encounter with Azula and Fire nation rekindled her hatred for that family. Her expression quickly turned from amazement to loathing. Zuko got to his knees and stared back at her as the Dai Li sealed the only way out.


	89. Chapter 89: Betrayals

_**Chapter 89: Betrayals**_

At the apartment in the Upper Ring, they discovered that Katara was not actually there. The place was empty and silent. Momo flew out in a panicked chatter. "No one's here," stated Toph. "oh wait… someone's at the door." A knock was then heard.

Aang uttered with great worry, "Katara IS in trouble. I knew it!"

Sokka looked to the door warily and reached for his trusty boomerang. Toph relaxed her shoulders and smiled, "Actually, I know who it is. It's an old friend." Toph padded over to the door in her still bare feet and slid it open to reveal Iroh. "I'm glad you are alright," she said politely to Iroh.

"I need your help," came Iroh's slightly shaken voice. "May I come in?" He bowed respectfully to Toph, one noble to another.

Sokka imagined all kinds of horrible things that Zuko might have done or was doing, horrible enough to upset even this general. Then a little glacier formed in his stomach as he remembered that Katara was likely in trouble. The two must be connected. Sokka and Aang felt very unconvinced about helping at the moment.

Toph Nodded and moved aside for Iroh to enter. Iroh gave the three teens a stern look that was heavy with the weight of responsibility. "Princess Azula is here in Ba Sing Se."

Aang leapt at the thought he spoke aloud, "She must have Katara!"

"She has captured my nephew as well." Iroh felt a little at odds for asking for the help of teens. But, this was the avatar. He did send a coded message to Mu-Tan and prayed that the secrets they kept remained safe, especially since the city was no longer so.

Aang frowned fiercely, "we'll work together to fight Azula and svae Katara and Zuko."

Sokka crossed his arms through this talk, but at that decision he had to speak up. "Woah there! You lost me at … Zuko."

In defense of his nephew, Iroh interjected, "I know how you feel about my nephew, but…" he hoped Zuko's shames would have been relieved by the few less aggressive encounters over tea they had had. Then again, maybe not, at least not with Sokka apparently. Iroh laid his hands pleadingly on Sokka's shoulder, "Believe me when I say there is good inside him."

Sokka brushed off Iroh's hands, "Good inside him is not enough!" He pushed Iroh gently to arm's distance. "Why don't you come back when it's outside him too, okay?" Without his sister here to temper him, Sokka felt more than secure to voice his distrust.

"Katara's in trouble. All of Ba Sing Se is in trouble. Working together is our best chance." Aang's voice of reason defeated Sokka's angst. Sokka gave in and nodded his agreement.

Relieved, Iroh tucked his hands into his sleeves and turned back to the door. "I brought someone along who might be able to help us." He hadn't known what he was going to do with this someone just yet, but the luck of the turncoat was all for Iroh today.

Curious, the others followed Iroh outside and into the back of their little noble's house. Toph wasted no time in slamming rock slabs to more firmly pin the already bound and gagged Dai Li agent.

His words were muffled. His breath came fast and tense. Sweat soaked his face and followed the trail of his facial scar. Fear swam in the lake of his sweat under his clothes. He feared this famous general of the Fire Nation. He feared what the avatar would do to him. He feared Azula. However, morality strengthened his spine and gave him the courage to seek out Iroh on the run. Iroh pulled the gag low so the Dai Li agent that Azula had picked on earlier could speak. He blurted out, "Azula and Long Feng are plotting a coup. They are going to overthrow the Earth King."

This sparked a new concern for Iroh. Travahar. Mu-Tan and Travahar would have to be warned about this too. This could prove more deadly for Travahar, especially if Travahar tried to get involved.

His boomerang secure, Sokka drew out his Water Tribe hunting knife. He swung it across him and then pointed it at the Dai Li's throat. His scowl like that of a wolf, Sokka demanded, "My sister. Where are they keeping Katara!"

"In the crystal catacombs of Old Ba Sing Se, deep beneath the palace," replied the agent, hoping his life would be spared.

The three teens and Iroh turned and ran, leaving the agent trapped behind them. Truth be told, he was likely safer trapped in the shadow of the back balcony. He knew he could eventually free himself, but it would take time. He didn't want to be dead by another agent just yet. Stillness, quiet, calm, and patience were needed now. His treachery will be known soon enough. Perhaps he turned coat soon enough to save his beloved city.

Meanwhile, a Dai Li agent walked quietly down a corridor of metal panels and prison cell doors. He pauses at the end of the hall before Long Feng's cell. His patrol duty had him pacing this all at regular intervals. Without turning his head to look in the through the slotted window of the cell door, he stated, "All the movements of all the generals of the Earth King have been plotted out step by step."

Long Feng sat in a contemplative lotus pose with his upturned palms on his knees. "Gooood," he purred. His back to the cell door, his expression remained serene. "And the Fire Nation princess is cooperating?"

"Oh yes," the enthusiasm in the agents tone was not missed by Long Feng. The agent looks in now through the door as he explained, "More than cooperating, she's really taken charge. She's terrifying and… inspirational at the same time. It's… hard to explain." He turned and continued along his patrol of the prison corridors.

Long Feng's serenity was broken. He wasn't sure whether he felt surprised by this news or betrayed.

On the surface on the walking paths through the palace gardens, the sun peaked through the clouds and promised a warmer winter day. Toph knealed over the stone tiles feeling the various vibrations in the ground, waiting for the stones and earth to whisper their secrets to her. "Well… what do you know… There is an ancient city down there. But it's deep." Standing she shifted her footing. As her hands come up, the ground rumbled in a spot that swelled. The bulge suddenly sunk revealing a long rough tunnel angled downward into darkness.

Sokka stroked his chin thinking. Finally he declared, "We should split up." He turned to Aang. "Aang? You go with Iroh to look for Katara and the angry jerk. No offense," he patted Iroh's shoulder.

Iroh simple shrugged, "None taken."

Sokka continued with his plan, "Toph and I will go to the Earth King to warn him about Azula's coup." He stroked his chin again then nodded sure of his plan.

They split ways there. Iroh prayed again to himself that his second coded message found its way to Mu-Tan, as he and Aang descended into the tunnel. Aang waved a quick good luck to Toph and Sokka. His own mind though was full of troubling thoughts, mostly about his failure at his crown chakra.

Sokka and Toph mounted the stairs to the royal audience hall. If only they knew this path from Iroh's earlier misadventure. Sokka pointed down the hall, "there's General How now---" then stilled as a shadow moved around a pillar. His eyes tracked up to see the Dai Li agents clinging there in the nooks, lying in wait to ambush the general. Sokka grabbed Toph by the front of her tunic and pulled her aside behind a wide column.

The corridor toward the audience hall and throne room featured many columns reaching skyward as if the earthbenders hoped to touch the very stars. The ceiling dark and dappled, leant to the shadows hiding the Dai Li agents. Toph and Sokka dared not move, uncertain of if they could fight Dai Li agents without more assistance. Their previous encounter with them in Lake Laogai left them feeling insecure.

General How strode with sure steps and a deep frown from earlier news of a recently taken city. The town of Shun-Lao fell to the Fire Nation that morning. He was marching to deliver that news to the other generals in the War Room. His personal runner was already sent to summon the others to meet him there.

Two Dai Li agents dropped to the ground throwing chain grappling clamps at the unsuspecting General How. The many-hinged metal clamps latch onto his wrists and stretch his arms out to either side. He struggled with a growl in his heavy padded and studded uniform. The two Dai Li using all their strength to restrain the broad-shouldered general. A third agent drops down in front of him and calmly walks forward. General How was his assignment, being the youngest of the generals and the most dangerous. General How snarled his indignation, "What's going on here?!" His black goatee quivered in his fury, green eyes flashing ferociously.

The third agent lied softly, "You are under house arrest." He turned and the entrapping agents dragged General How out the side corridor.

General How dug his heels into the ground, desperately trying to slow his movement. Not being an earthbender himself, he was no match for the elite Dai Li agents. As he began to roar like the bear of a man he was, the third agent paused, with simple flicks of his wrists he earthbended a pile of dirt into the general's mouth and down his throat. Air became the single thought in the general's mind, until the strain on his shoulders forced the bones to pop their joints with flashes of agony. The earth in his throat was earthbended back into solid rock. General How's struggles slowed with every heartbeat till there were no heartbeats left.

Toph stilled her breath as the stones become still after General How's struggles ended with too much finality.

"The coup is happening right now!" Sokka whispered with great anxiety, "We've got to warn the Earth King, now!" Sokka grabbed Toph's hand and they ran for the throne room.

None of the other generals received warning in time either. One of the Council of Five was strolling down the street. Foul smelling tendrils of steam rose from a sewer. When General Wei walked over the wooden street grating for sewage draining, several chains shot out from underneath him like a monster from the deep ocean with its many tentacles, ensnaring him and pulling him against the grill. His brown hair greased by the filth of the sewer grate. He looked through the grating, dark eyes desperately seeking his enemy.

With a fierce snapping of the wood, the metal tendrils broke through the grate pulling the general into the depths of the sewer before he could think enough to earthbend. His last sight was a bare glimpse, the Dai Li. His body splashed into the sewage below, wood smattering around him into the water and debris. The many agents in the dark pounced him, holding under the foul waters. He tried to hold his breath in hopes that they would lift him for questioning. A heavy boot kicked his ribs. The precious air escaped his lungs and bubbled to the thick surface. A rock slammed his skull with a bloody wet crack under the water's surface. Red fluid surfaced with a few more air bubbled.

The agents abandoned the floating body of General Wei and hurried to the surface with the new wooden grate they had planned to replace the one they knew they would destroy. To all suture eyes, nothing ever happened here. The foul smell of a future rotting body would join the other foul smells of the sewage and never be noticed.

Old and wobbly General Sung was also taking a walk through the city. Having received the message runner's note from General How, he was heading from the tea house in the Lower Ring he preferred back toward the palace War Room. Though his bones felt his age, his hair remained raven black. Shame it was in thin wisps he tried to preserve as best he could from falling out. His dark sage green eyes drooped with exhaustion. He swore to himself that he was getting too old for this long trek to his favorite tea house. Today, looking down at the summons, his military robes and armor weighed heavily. He wondered if he would live to see the end of this war.

Two chains flew out from a dark alley, grabbing Sung and pulling him into the shadows. His yell was brief as his feet left the ground. He tumbled, tangled in the metal chains. He rolled awkwardly to his hands and feet, the weight of the chains making it impossible for him to stand. He lifted his head.

General Sung's dark sage green eyes met the cold gaze of a Dai Li agent. The agent nodded to someone behind the general. A swift whoosh of steel through air, the general didn't see the other agent. The blade sliced clean through. General Sung's head rolled a foot or two on the ground, eyes dulling to a silver sage. His body slumped under the chains.

The Dai Li, cleaned his blade on the general's cloak. The two agents then overturned the alleyway stones burying the general forever.

Finally, two of the Council of Five studied the large map in the war room. They waited for General How who sent the message runner. They wondered what was taking General Wei and general Sung so long to arrive. General LuFan loomed over the map like a platypusbear, his bushy grey beard brushing against his military uniform. He scrubbed his wrinkling face with a meaty hand. He tisked with disappointment. This was sour news.

General ChenShi leaned over and earthbended a Fire Nation flag piece across the map to the place where they lost the town. His dark brown eyebrows knit together across his balding brow. His thick moustache swung from one side for a moment then the other, then puffed has he let out an annoyed breath.

Three Dai Li agents crawled along the ceiling above them. The maybe twenty Dai Li agents on this assignment had to act fast. These generals were veteran warriors and master earthbenders. Without being noticed, the agents dropped their chains and shackled the generals' ankles. The generals both gave a shout as they were swiftly pulled upside down and into the air to be swallowed by stone and shadow with a silent crunch. Their bodies became part of the ceiling stones, sealed up and crushed.

The shadows faded from the room leaving the sun to dapple the map peacefully.

In the throne room, The Earth king sat stately upon his throne. His bear lay lazily to the one side of the stairs to the dais. Mai and Ty Lee spoke quietly together on the other side. They still wore their Kyoshi warrior disguises. Eagerly, Toph and Sokka dash to the center of the throne room shouting, "Thank goodness we are in time!" Mai and Ty Lee turn their attention to the rude entry.

Innocently, the Earth King pushes his spectacle up his nose a little. "In time for what?" he asked Sokka, confused.

Ty Lee's eyes light up at the sight of the handsome young warrior. "Ya! What are you in time for?" She leapt to a hand on the floor and flipped back to her feet right in front of Sokka, almost nose to nose with him. "Cutie." She grinned unabashedly.

Without moving his feet, Sokka leaned back a little from her. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand as sweat beaded his brow and his cheeks flushed at the over flirt of this beautiful girl before him. _I wonder what she is like without all that Kyoshi warrior fabric, _he thought. The perspiration trickled down his face as he banished the forbidden thoughts. "I'm kinda involved with Suki," his voice cracked as he spoke the name of the Kyoshi warrior he had his current crush on, the last girl he actually kissed.

Surprised by Sokka's awkward rejection of her she cocked her head and asked, "Who?"

Toph reacted instantly, calling up the stones to capture Ty Lee. However, Ty Lee was too dexterous. The lithe acrobat sprang from the moving rock and back-flipped up onto the head of a statue. Toph yelled her discover, "They are not the real Kyoshi warriors!"

The Earth King gasped only second before Sokka. "Sorry to disappoint you." Mai's low husky voice barely warned her attack. A quick movement from her wrists and tiny throwing knives charged through the air toward Toph. Toph spread her feet for a new stance and pulled her hands up. A slab of tile rose to shield her. The knives embedded themselves harmlessly there. Toph then thrust her hands forward, punching the air. The tile flew back toward Mai. Mai leapt over it easily. Her landing was less smooth as Toph again moved stone to meet Mai's feet as they landed. This was not like the Rumble competitions Toph was used to. This was more of a fight for her life. They were evenly matched.

Sokka faired no better. Ty Lee dropped from her statue in front of him again and laughed playfully. Each hand two-finger-thrusted at Sokka intermittently. He dodged and dodged and dodged. "Its like we're dancing together." She commented with amusement.

The Earth King watched, paralyzed with surprise. From behind his throne, a hand gripped his shoulder. Azula appear over his other shoulder, blue flames sparking like a deadly dagger in her free hand at the Earth King's throat. "This fight is over, she said coolly."

Sighing with defeat and not wanting to risk anyone's life, Top and Sokka xease their defenses and raise their arms. Ty Lee bounced over to stand between them. She poked each in a few places. Toph and Sokka dropped to the floor face down unable to move any part of themselves. A Dai Li agent even trapped the flying Momo in a stone glove.

Azula shoved the Earth King off the dais and ordered the Dai Li agents now stepping from the shadows, "Get them all out of my sight." She watched with a smirk as they were dragged or escorted out to the metal prisons below. She mused to herself, _they should never have had a king who could not earthbend. This was sinfully easy._

Everything was going perfectly according to plan, at least until Long Feng walked into the throne room with a contingent of Dai Li agents formed up in neat rows behind him. Azula narrowed her eyes wondering who released him without her permission. He clasped his hands behind his back with confidence, "Now comes the part where I double cross you."

She stood before the throne mildly perturbed.

"Dai Li," commanded Long Feng. "Arrest the Fire Nation Princess."

No one moved.

Long Feng looked back with an eyebrow raised in shock at their disobedience. With a snarl he commanded again, this time pointing to Azula for emphasis, "I said ARREST HER!" Still no one moved. "What is wrong with you?!" he demanded.

Azula's smirk returned as she answered him, "It's because they haven't made up their minds. They are waiting to see how this is going to end."

He turned to her, speaking through clenched teeth, "What are you talking about?"

"I can see your whole history in your eyes," confidence poured from her as she read his subtle expressions and body language like any well-trained noble assessing her underlings. "You were born from nothing. So you had to struggle and claw and connive your way to power." She was rewarded by a slight widening of his eyes acknowledging her hypothesis as truth. "But the true power, the divine right to rule, is something you are born with." She glared at his impudence. "The fact is… they don't know who is going to be sitting on that thrown." She pointed back at the throne behind her. "And which one is going to be bowing down." She then pointed to her feet. A single drop of sweat rolled down the side of Long Feng face. "But I know… and you know." She smoothly turned and sat upon the throne. She crossed one knee over the other, getting comfortable. "Well?"

The silence stretched as Long Feng sweated. Azula and he stared each other down. Like a predatory cat watching its prey's will dissolve, she waited calmly. Long Feng took a few deep nervous breaths struggling to maintain inner control. Realization sunk to his feet. He lowered his gaze to the floor and stepped forward. "You have beaten me at my own game." He knelt before the dais on both knees, hands to the floor, his long braid swayed down his back limply.

"Don't flatter yourself," scoffed Azula. "You were never even a player."


	90. Chapter 90: Bad News

_**Chapter 90: Bad News**_

Faelin woke to Zuko kissing her and whispering that his uncle needed help for the day and he would be back before the sun set. Soon after an old familiar face come in with her graying hair tied up and twisted loops and her blue eyes bright as her smile. "You are looking very well, Faelin. I thought you might like a bath and to come down and watch the children in the dojo. Would you like that?" Faelin nodded still amazed to be alive. She could hear Ty-Min's vibrant voice already chatting merrily downstairs with another little girl. Zuko had arranged for Ling to pick her up from school.

After the bath and some late lunch, the older woman helped Faelin slowly down the stairs to sit on the bench. Ty-min broke away from the class and ran over, "Faelin! I am the best in my class! I won a medal at the championships! You gonna watch my class?"

Mu-Tan cleared his throat. "Ty-min," he spoke gently yet firmly. "Respect begins with your tasks at hand. Respect of the dojo, your teacher and your fellow students."

"Oops…" she muttered quietly and hurried back to the other, bowing as she had been taught. She apologized to her group, then to Mu-Tan with another bow and then down to the floor to the dojo. Springing up again she was ready to show Faelin how amazing she could be, how skilled and disciplined. Ty-min hoped her new family was proud. She felt like she had a mother and a father now. She also hoped her previous mother and father understood and were also proud of her.

Bao Li entered the dojo in such a rush he disregarded the sanctity of the dojo as his muddy feet stepped onto the tatami mats. The children all gasped. A few called out, "You can't walk on the mats! No shoes in the dojo!" Mu-Tan shushed them. Bao Li's dark expression worried him. Worried Ling too who offered to take over the class while Mu-Tan handled this.

Once Bao Li and Mu-Tan were in the basement and Mu-Tan sealed the stairway, he handed a note to Mu-Tan. "Azula is in the city. She has control of the Dai Li and plans to assassinate the Generals."

"Travahar…" Mu-Tan breathed the name. "You get to Travahar and keep him safe. I'll get to the generals and the king. Ling will protect the dojo." _The war is within the walls now. I thought I would never see the day._ His heart sank.

As they come up the stairs an old man was waiting for them politely on the bench near the door. Mu-Tan recognized him from the Pai Sho café in the Upper Ring. In fact, he has used his services a few times long ago. To see a member of the White Lotus here and it not being Iroh was surely worse news. He invited the man into the kitchen for tea. Bao Li hurried out to find Travahar. Ling continued through the new kata forms with the children, though he mentally noted the goings on with the adults. He glanced to the waterbender and priestess and softly corrected a young boy's stance.

In the kitchen, the old man sat and slid a crumpled note over while he accepted the tea. "From one Dragon to another." The cryptic words held heavy meaning. He sipped the tea and stood, "The petals are falling from the cherry tree and gathering in the lotus pond. It will take some time before the flowers are all sorted out." He bowed. "Thank you for the tea. Mine is better though, so you should visit my café sometimes." He left immediately after.

Mu-Tan waited form him to be gone before opening the note. He recognized Iroh's writing. _The Black Dragon has already eaten the five stones. The Dragon of Fire has faced her and lost. This Dragon walks into the green den with hope. Keep safe the sacred._ Mu-Tan sighed. The news was worse. Azula's coup was already under way.

Travahar had already lost the throne. The king now was either a prisoner or dead while the Fire Nation princess claimed Ba Sing Se. Travahar was not ready to face her, especially without the support of the generals and especially without the loyalty of the Dai Li. He snarled quietly at their betrayal. His only relief was in knowing that with the generals dead and the current king no longer there by whatever means that meant there was no one in the Palace who knew the true Earth King lived. Mu-Tan needed to keep him safe until the right moment. Taking the throne was supposed to be a quiet exchange between cousins. Now it will have to be a fierce battle with the Fire Nation once more. He needed Travahar to be the light of hope for the people of the Earth Kingdom as the avatar was the light of hope for the world.

Nothing happening at the dojo was permitted to give away more than it being a shelter for a few homeless servants, shelter for the teachers, and a busy school for children and adults in the ways of Hung Gar. He returned to work with the children's class till the parents came to collect their offspring. Ty-min took a hurried shower that barely cleaned her and joined Faelin back upstairs where Hwa Lan waited to help her with her school work. A quiet look was exchanged between Ling and Mu-Tan as they made a light meal and prepared for the evening adult class.

Bao Li traveled by stone tram to the Middle Ring to collect the offering log book that he used from time to time when he solicited nobles for temple donations. Once in the Upper Ring he bothered most nobles along the way through the district. The collections were sometimes small and sometimes large. He reminded himself that one day monks will be in that temple again and will do this. He also chastised himself for not doing this nearly so often. It would help remind the stuffy nobles about the temple and encourage them more to visit it and help maintain it. He knocked at a few doors of families he knew were strong supporters of the temple and tried a new family or two. Finally he knocked on the door he was aiming for all the while. A servant answered and asked his business. "I am from the temple. I have come to beg the aid of the family to help support the temple. May I speak with the Lord?"

"Let the man in," a gentle voice in the background coaxed. The servant let Bao Li in at the Lady's behest. Bao Li was escorted to a tea room. After some negotiation for a sizable donation and a polite introduction to Travahar and Travahar's fiancée Hwa Lan, Bao Li left to stop at the temple and drop off the log book.

Travahar and Hwa Lan arrived shortly after in the temple just before its closing and made offerings, their coins tinkling through the grill. They each rang the large bell there and listened to the haunting echoes. He invited her to join him in his evening class of Martial Arts. They traveled the same tram as Bao Li into the Lower Ring. Bao Li followed them at a discreet distance till they were safely inside the dojo. Only then did Bao Li close up the job center and send his new assistant home. He ensured that his new assistant would be working the next few days as he was not going to be available. It was at least his mental assumption. This was going to be a long night of planning in the dojo basement. He knew it. Deep in his bones, he knew it.

The news was broken to Hwa Lan and Travahar that evening in the basement. Travahar yelled ferociously, "and what are we doing hiding!? Zuko needs us to get him out! I am not going to just sit here!!"

"You are. If you don't then we might lose you too, then where would the Earth Kingdom be?" Travahar hated Mu-Tan's calm logic sometimes. "We need you to stay here and help protect everyone here till we have more news. The Dai Li are on Azula's side. This is not a fight even I am willing to get into."

"Traitors." It was a word spoken my several in the basement with a mix of shock, horror and disgust.

They all had to wait now. In the morning, they would know the outcome and then how to proceed with their own coup.


	91. Chapter 91: Crossroads

_**Chapter 91: Crossroads**_

While Katara was in a sour mood and found her outlet in Zuko, he thought about the many harsh things the Fire Nation… and he himself had visited upon her and her family. "They took my mother away from me!" She yelled in a shaking tear-filled voice as she sank to her knees clutching her mother's necklace to her throat. Her back was to Zuko and his to hers.

He turned as her words struck him deep in his heart. The heart chakra was about love, relationships and loss. He understood her pain intimately. "That's something we have in common," he whispered hoarsely around the growing lump in his throat. "They took mine from me too."

It was a moment of realization for both of them, this common ground and hatred they had for certain people. "I am not them, Katara… even if all you see is the face of an enemy." He turned from her as he touched his own scar.

"Zuko, that's… that's not what I meant." She approached him considering, "Will… will you let me try to heal it?"

"It's a scar. It can never be healed." He tried to sound like he accepted it, but his hatred of the disfiguring crept into his tone. He stood slowly and faced her when he heard her stepping closer. His shoulders sagged as his eyes met hers.

"Will you let me try?" She asked seeing again the simple man in those eyes she saw when he held a dying woman in his arms.

His chin lifted. He intook a hopeful breath, impossibly hopeful. She raised her hand and he closed his eyes staying so still. He submitted to being touched as her olive skinned fingers rested gently on the scar tissue of his face. She wondered once again if he really had changed. She felt deep down that he had, something about his was so different. He was willing to trust her. Maybe, just maybe, she could trust him too.

The rock behind then shattered the green glowing crystals as iroh and Aang stepped through. Katara exclaimed and ran to Aang hugging him. He glared at Zuko over Katara's shoulder. Iroh rushed to his nephew relieved to see him alive. Iroh was sure Azula would have killed Zuko.

Katara was still hugging Aang. "I knew you would come."

He held her still looking over her shoulder at Zuko wondering why he felt such jealousy. Actually, Aang knew exactly why he felt jealous. He loved Katara and could not let her go. _How dare Zuko touch her. He might be considering being a good human, but maybe Sokka's right. Zuko can't be trusted. Can he?_ Aang glared and questioned silently.

Indignant and upset with a missed chance to maybe be free of the cursed scar, upset to see his uncle so friendly with these people. Zuko wondered who the enemy was. "Uncle, I don't understand. What are you doing with the Avatar?" His pointing finger was almost accusing.

Aang snapped back, "Saving you, that's what." Since obviously Zuko could not save himself.

Zuko's hands formed the fist of Hung Gar and with a snarl he lunged at Aang. His uncle stopped him like a giant plush wall. Zuko's shoulders sagged as he remembered that the avatar was not really his enemy. As he breathed through his chakras, his uncle encouraged Katara and Aang to go ahead of them, that they would catch up soon. Aang bowed to them with respect, more for Iroh than Zuko, but respect just the same. He then turned and went back through the cave hole toward the underground city they had passed. Katara followed Aang, glancing over her shoulder. She prayed Zuko would be the man she saw only a few moments ago, the man she saw with Faelin.

"Zuko," Iroh patted his nephew's chest gently to keep his attention, "It's time we talked."

His chest still felt tight with betrayal and shame. Zuko could not breathe through his chakras. "Uncle… why?"

Iroh's face relaxed into a gentle smile, one a loving father gives a son, "You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been before. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose."

Zuko shut his eyes, absorbing his uncle's words. Absently, his hand rested over something he'd secretly been carrying for so long. It was the tiny hidden pouch under his belt, the one that contained a tiny strip of cloth from his mother, a fire opal from a fortune teller, and a lock of fiery red hair from a child. The hair of that child could be the hair of his own child in the very near future. He finished breathing through his chakras and with that felt Faelin safe in the Lower Ring. Zuko didn't believe he had a choice, not any more. _Honor is the Law,_ he thought to himself. _Love is the Bond._ He swore vows. There was no choice to be made. He had made that choice days, weeks, maybe actually months ago. He made that choice the day he saw those blue eyes and red hair out on the deck of his ship.

Before his thoughts could be concluded, Zuko was startled by a sudden and violent quake. A trail of green crystal shot from the ground, rising up to entrap his uncle. Zuko faced the oncoming earthbending attacker.

Azula sauntered down a ramp with two Dai Li agents. Smiling with perfect confidence, Azula approached Zuko until she was standing between her brother and her uncle. "I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuko, prince Zuko… You are a lot of things, but you are not a traitor… are you?" There was no warmth in those golden eyes that met Zuko's.

"Release him immediately!" Zuko demanded, faire dancing in his own golden eyes.

It hardly concerned Azula. She knew Zuko was no threat, not to her. However, he could be very useful. "It's not too late for you, Zuko. You can still redeem yourself." Listening to her was hypnotic as it reminded him of a vague dream he struggled to remember clearly, a dream from a fever where her velvety voice coaxed him.

"The kind of redemption she offers is not for you!" Iroh yelled, desperately praying Zuko would not fall prey to Azula's manipulation. She was only a few years younger than Zuko, but was so very much like her manipulative and conniving father, Ozai.

Her annoyance flashed in her words, "Why don't you let him decide, Uncle." She turned her attention back onto Zuko. "I need you, Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day. This glorious day in Fire Nation history. And the only way we win is together. At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want."

Iroh pleaded, "Zuko, I am begging you, look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want." He dared not mention Faelin or the child she carried that was in fact Zuko's. He dared not risk giving them over to Azula.

Zuko's eyes met Iroh's for a moment. He measured his thoughts and feelings. _Honor is the Law and Love is the Bond._ He shut his eyes, hanging his head as he considered what he was going to do, how he was going to salvage this situation with everything he truly wanted still intact.

"You are free to choose," Azula waved her hand casually and dismissively as she turned and followed the route of the avatar, her real quarry. The Dai Li took the signal and earthbended a small platform raising it till they lifted themselves back out of the tunnel and into the palace where they once again sealed the exit.

Each breath was a lifetime. Zuko waited till she was truly out of both sight and hearing. "Uncle, I have to do this," he finally broke the silence. Dismay widened Iroh's eyes. "Trust me, please." He had a plan in his head. It was risky, but it was at least something. "I have trained, I have learned, I have sworn… Please uncle… please."

Iroh nodded finally. Zuko knew he didn't have much time to make this decision. His sister was a fickle woman and her offer could change in a heartbeat. He fought to heat some of the crystals like he learned with the metals, seeking their point of melting or fragility. He managed to free one of Iroh's hands. "Go, Nephew. Go. I can handle myself from here." Zuko stood ready to leave. "Zuko. Never forget who you are." They were Ursa's words, the last words of a mother to her son. The words that reverberated in his soul in the voices and faces of those Zuko loved most, his mother, his uncle, Faelin, Ty-min… his unborn child. Zuko turned and hurried after his sister, taking a turn at his crossroads within and not looking back. 


	92. Chapter 92: Battle & Fall

_**Chapter 92: Finally Battling**_

As they stepped from the tunnel that Aang made into the old underground city, Katara gasped. The stone buildings in the sides of the cavern gave the feeling that this was the most ancient place in the world. The cavern was huge. Giant pillars were overgrown with glowing green crystals that illuminated the main open space. The two stepped down from their ledge and walked across a floor pattern of concentric circles. Aang wondered if it was used by earthbenders to raise people to the surface. A little ahead was a waterfall from a surface opening. The water poured from some opening in the ceiling to fill a small pool and chase a little current around a square. Katara felt that the water flowed back into some complex pump system and back up to a surface fountain that must decorate the palace grounds somewhere. "We've got to find Sokka and Toph," she said as her mind decided that they were going to get out through this opening for the waterfall.

A streak of blue fire rocketed towards Aang and Katara from behind. Aang quickly turned around and earthbended a wall of stone to protect them. The fire hit the wall with great force, knocking Aang back. Azula smirked, her fingertips still smoking from the attack. Katara ran around the smoldering wall and bent the water in the square water channel. She charged at Azula and brought the water crashing down on her. Azula deflected the attack with a short blast of fire. Katara kept her momentum and spun the water around her, smashing it into the floor and creating a large wave. Azula stomped the ground and flung her hands out, making a wall of fire that evaporated the wave coming at her. The resulting steam hid Azula from view. Aang and Katara looked left and right, preparing for a sneak attack.

A moment later, Azula jumped out of the steam from behind one of the larger crystals high above. She attacked with two blue fire balls which Aang and Katara extinguish by bending the water from the channel into a shield. Azula landed on a piece of rock jutting out from one of the large columns. Aang shot his fists forward and brought his palms down, sending a shockwave through the ground and into the column, destroying it. Azula gasped and dropped down between Aang and Katara, pointing her fingers at both of them. Azula looked back and forth between the two of them nervously, waiting for their next move. Her eyes slid from one to the other. Calculating the odds and determining the potential damage. She resolved that Katar was the weaker, but Aang was less experienced. If she took out Katara, Aang would fall too. Her lip started to curl up on one side with her chosen plan in mind.

Suddenly, a blast of red fire landed between Aang and Azula, disrupting and ending her thoughts and opportunity. They shield themselves from it and turn towards the new opponent, Zuko. He discarded the heavy kimono from the tea house on his way down the tunnel earlier and so was wearing a simple brown shirt and brown pants. Zuko drew closer to them, poised in his firebending stance. He looked to Azula, who gazed back at him harshly. Zuko then looked to Aang. He hoped his plan would work and that he could hopefully salvage some trust later. The airbender gasped just before Zuko punched forward, shooting a fire ball at him. Aang reacted just in time and protected himself by airbending a spiral of wind around his body. He jumped back to gain distance as the flame dispersed. Azula smiled at Zuko's decision and attacked Katara, waving her arm in an arc and throwing a jet of fire at the waterbender with an underhand toss. Katara bent the water from her flask and extinguished the fire.

Zuko furiously sent a rapid barrage of fireballs at Aang with a series of punches. His moves were powerful, though obvious. Aang quickly ran around in a circle at high speed, creating a whirlwind that easily blocked the attacks. With his momentum built up, Aang came to a halt and threw his chest out, sending forth a gust of air in the shape of his body. Zuko gasped just as the gust hit him, blowing him back several feet and knocking him to the ground. Aang leapt forward and attempted to attack Zuko with a blast of wind, but Zuko rolled out of the way and countered with a blast of fire to Aang's legs. Aang jumped high into the air and landed on a column. Zuko sprang to his feet and shot more fireballs in Aang's direction. Aang hopped out of the way and landed on the tip of a large, pointy crystal sticking out of the stone wall high above. Avoiding Zuko was too easy. Zuko saw this and wondered if Azula would think him weak. He fixed Aang with a challenging glare. Zuko lowered his stance and coiled his body, gathering energy, and launches a mighty blast of fire at the Avatar. The blast was like a beam for fire with a white static ring around it. Aang lifted his arms, earthbending the crystals below him to rise up and block the attack. The fire blast was too strong and exploded on contact, shattering the crystals. As if in slow motion, the shards scattered to the ground as Aang was blown back. Zuko thought his world ended in that slow few seconds when the avatar fell. Zuko pulled back his still flaming fist. Aang regained his feat and firmly planted them in the Hung Gar bear stance. Zuko almost nodded at the strength and courage of this small boy that was supposedly the hope of the world. This fight will teach him much about how to handle firebenders. Zuko brought both fists down to his sides, creating two large, thick flames. Waving his arms, Zuko turned the flames into long, searing whips of fire. Aang crouched on top of a cluster of crystals. Zuko swung both whips at Aang, who jumped away as the fire whips sliced through the crystals. Aang landed at the top of a cliff, but had no time to relax as Zuko followed up the attack. Azula would never give Aang a breather. Zuko felt the need to show Aang this without his vile sister in the fray. Aang jumped over the burning whips and on to a nearby column. Zuko slung the fire around and continued his relentless attack.

Azula landed feet first on the floor, a puddle of water beneath her. She and Katara run towards each other. Katara stopped and bent the puddle, lifting it up with one arm and thrusting it at Azula with the other. Each breath stretched out the time. Azula stepped out of the way. She watched the water pass just inches by her face and cut a few hairs from her bangs. That was way too close for Azula's liking. She decided that Katara had to die and quickly, but that she was not ready to fight her alone, not in open combat like this. Katara was faster than she expected, fiercer, too.

Aang and Zuko exchanged several more equally fierce-looking bending blows till they were both a bit dazed and needed a moment to breathe. Zuko kept watching the avatar from the corner of his eye. He hoped Aang was enduring well. The boy needed to understand the danger of relentless firebenders. Azula sure was not going to just give up on him if she got her deadly electric claws on the boy.

On the other side of the channel of water, Katara and Azula sparred for their lives. Azula, however, was only toying with the Water Tribe woman and Zuko knew it. When a blob of water rose from the ground and knocked Azula off her feet by surprise, her expression changed. She charged Katara with full intentions to end the vile peasant. Katara quickly engulfed herself in the water like an armored suit and extended the arms into long tentacles. As Azula moved through a firebending move, one arm was trapped by one of the tentacles. She outstretched her other arm to blast blue flames at Katara only to have the other arm trapped in the other tentacle. Katara almost had Azula firmly restrained as she debated how to keep the princess from doing any further harm.

Zuko glanced over and saw wild fury in Azula's eyes that shifted into perfect cold calm. The lightening danced inside her. Zuko blasted Aang a little harder than intended to get Aang out of the way and not be a distraction for just a few moments. Those moments were crucial as he sprang to his feet, rushing the two women. With a yell, he sent fire to cut Katara's connection to Azula. The sparks of lightning ended with his interference. Katara remained alive and not electrocuted through her water connection. Zuko panted with the frantic effort. Azula merely smiled at her brother for the freedom he gave her. Then she turned her attention on Aang who was climbing his way out of a crater that Zuko knocked him into. Zuko felt Aang could handle Azula. He was the avatar after all. With luck, the avatar would end his sister and save him from having to try to face her later. He focused on Katara instead to maintain his sister's current loyalty. Zuko threw two fire lances to alert Katara of his pending attacks and shifted them into long fire whips.

Katara snarled in betrayed shock, "I thought you changed!" She cast her own water tentacles as long water whips in each hand and lashed at Zuko with renewed hatred.

He dodged and met blow for blow. His whips only ever striking her own but not her. "I have changed," he called back. However, she didn't seem to notice how he avoided doing her or the avatar any real harm. He couldn't be more obtuse though or his sister would know where his true loyalties lie.

Aang felt more confident after fighting Zuko. He had beaten Zuko and blasted him into some rocks. Zuko's final blast though had knocked him off his feet and winded him. When he was again standing, Zuko was charging over to Katara and Azula. There was the briefest moment of panic when he thought Zuko would deal Katara a final blow. But, he didn't. Instead Zuko severed the contact between Azula and Katara and took over the fight. He wondered for a second why Zuko hadn't taken advantage of the situation. _Maybe He has changed,_ Aang thought. That alone gave him extra inner strength as he turned his attention to Azula, determined to win against her. He decided to lean on optimism and regard the fight with Zuko as a warm up for a fight with Azula.

Azula brought her hands up and pushed them back while stepping forward, creating two large burning balls of blue fire. She shifted her feet and jets of fire shot from her soles, the small explosions causing her to rocket forward. Aang raised his arms and earthbended the crystals around him, covering his body with them and creating a suit of glistening green armor. He put both arms forward and slid over the ground, coming at Azula head on. They were about to collide, until Azula hopped and slid her foot forward, flinging all of the built up fire at Aang. Aang crossed his arms and tried to defend himself, but the powerful attack shattered the crystal armor and sent Aang crashing into a wall on a cliff up above.

With Aang down, Azula grew tired of watching Zuko dawdle with his fighting of Katara and decided to join in. She watched the interchange from a crystal peak then hopped down and threw a burst blue flame. Outnumbered, Katara drew up the water like a wall. Azula rolled her hand and thrust them forward releasing a blue swirling fireball. Zuko whirled and formed a similar thrust to release his own red fireball. The two hit Katara's water wall. Azula's ball of fire destroyed the water into steam and would have hit Katara directly had Zuko's not inadvertently gotten in the way. Azula rolled her eyes at her brother's blunder. She had really thought he would have improved over the years in exile. Just the same, Katara is blown back by the impact. She collided with some large crystals and fell in an unconscious heap, her hair coming loose of its ties and pooling around her. The corner of Azula's mouth turned up in her trademark grin.

The victory was short lived as Zuko and Azula turned their heads toward a rumbling noise. Aang was again on his feet. Azula snarled under her breath, "He needs to stay the hell down." Aang launched himself into the air, kicking up dust in a huge cloud. He cracked the stone upon landing and charged the firebenders with all his fury, all his love of Katara. He rode a rolling mound of rock. Zuko and Azula took defensive stances. Zuko braced himself to leap from Aang's path. Azula dug in her feat, ready to end the avatar there. Then Aang suddenly tumbles into a tangle of dirt and limbs.

A Dai Li agent dropped from the ceiling in front of Aang. Azula almost cackled with delight as Aang wearily picked himself up and looked around. Now many Dai Li agents were dropping from the ceiling or cliffs above. Many Dai Li formed neat military rows behind Zuko and Azula. Several surround Katara as the waterbender regains consciousness to see her impending doom. In her panic she leapt to her feet pulling water to her and becoming a water octopus. She spread her legs in octopus stance and the water sprouted the eight tentacles. However, with so many around her, eight tentacles would never succeed. Azula coyly slipped between the Dai Li and vanished from view to find a spot with a better line of sight so she could enjoy the sight of the avatar and the water tribe peasant losing to the Dai Li.

Aang looks from the many Dai Li behind Zuko, facing him and the many surrounding Katara. "There are too many," he whispered in defeat. Guru Pathik's words crept into Aang's mind; _the only way… is to let her go_. With a pained expression, Aang turned away from the girl he loved, "I'm sorry Katara," he whispered. He slammed up an earthen and crystal tent around him as he sank into a small huddled meditation position. He breathed seven breaths, moving through each chakra, letting Katara go as he made the seventh breath. Aang's tattoos began to glow bright white, chasing the arrows down his arms and legs. As the met at his interlocked fists, a swirl of energy and light engulfed him and a ball of spirit force. His eyes opened and shone white as he shifted into the avatar state. The sphere levitated Aang into the air, crashing out of the rock and crystal tent.

Zuko took a step back. He knew this state. It was dangerous. It could kill or do great things. He didn't want to be struck down. The Dai Li also stepped back, frightened, yet entranced by the light. They had never seen such a thing. Zuko remembered this from the North Pole. The remaining crystal about Aang's sphere shattered, sending shards flying in all directions. The Dai Li raised their arms to shield themselves. Zuko hoped the avatar would remember mercy. He stood his ground finding peace in his own seven breaths. A glance to each side revealed that his sister was gone. His eyes darted about to try to find her.

Azula sneered at her luck to be behind the avatar as she bent the lightening. Her two finger point sent the lightening traveling down her arm and arcing toward their target. Aang was struck in the back. His body writhed as the avatar state was broken and the sphere vanished. Cold pleasure filled Azula's gaze as she watched Aang twitch and scream in pain. She smiled with sure confidence, her fingers still smoking a little as Aang fell hard and lifeless to the ground. His clothing was charred and a deep wound was seared into his back. The smell of burnt flesh wafted through the cavern. The lightening finished its course through Aang's body and burnt the sole of one foot as it exited.

The caverns were silent with shock. Katara stared, horrified, tears rolling down her cheeks in streams. She turned her body and used a wave of water to carry her to Aang's side. No one stopped her. The wave washes through the room soaking and forcing Zuko and the Dai Li back. Katara gathered Aang into her arms. Zuko understood the look in her eyes. He had that look, and not that long ago. He hoped she could heal Aang as well as she healed his Faelin.

Azula hopped gingerly down to Zuko's side. She was as pleased as a cat-hawk after its first successful hunt. The hopeless and lost look in Katara's eyes met Zuko's. He began to advance. He wanted to say or do something. Azula walked with him, reveling in their misery. Katara hugged Aang's body to her.

A blast of fire struck the ground in front of Azula and Zuko. It shook Zuko from his own stunned state. Then he had realized his sister was by his side. Zuko's eyes tracked up to the origin of the blast to see his uncle. Iroh jumped down from the cliff landing between Katara and Azula. Zuko marveled at his uncle's battle stance. "You've got to get out of here!" yelled Iroh over his shoulder to Katara. "I'll hold them off as long as I can!" The Dai Li advanced. Zuko took a step back. Iroh punched and kicked blasts of orange fire in several directions striking Dai Li down as he did. Katara escaped with Aang by bending a fountain of water that pulled them up and through a small opening in the ceiling to the surface.

Zuko refused to get into this fight at all. He backed up entirely. Azula gestured and the Dai Li attacked. Iroh lowered his stance and defended against the stone gloved shot like flying fists. Just as Katara is away to freedom, Iroh relaxed a small amount. It resulted in the Dai Li trapping him again in crystal. Zuko stared blankly at his uncle. He was so sure his uncle was going to help the others escape, not come here to be recaptured. He was also so sure the avatar would win against Azula. Iroh met Zuko's gaze, staring back for a moment. Then Iroh turned his head sadly away, saying nothing to the shame and betrayal. He was sure Zuko had changed. Maybe he was wrong. That one moment made Zuko's heart sink like stone to the bottom of the lake, like the Blue Spirit Mask that he can never get back.

_This isn't how it was supposed to end. Uncle, please, understand. Please trust me. Please don't abandon me to Azula. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to end like this…._

-----

In another part of the underground, The Earth King sniffled at the loss of his bear friend and worried over the loss of the Earth Kingdom. He sat dejected in a metal cell waiting for Toph and Sokka to regain mobility. When the youngsters did, Toph wasted no time in metalbending the door apart and claiming their freedom.

Above ground, Mai and Ty Lee sat with Bosco, the bear. The Fire Nation girls had changed into clothes similar to Azula's, Fire Nation style but in shades of green. Mai lounged lazily on the steps that lead up the throne and Ty Lee played with the bear.

"Come on, it's easy," Ty Lee coaxed the large bear. "You just walk on your front paws instead of your rear ones… like this." She did a handstand and walked a few steps on her palms. Suddenly the floor rose and trapped her hands. She squeaked in surprise, losing balance. She tumbled forward landing on her feet which also became trapped in stone. The awkward arch exposed her belly upward. Bosco clapped his paws in amusement.

Toph, Sokka and the Earth King stood in the large doorway of the throne toom. Toph laughed heartily, "HAHA HAHA! That IS a nice trick!"

Sokka drew out his trusty boomerang ready to fight Mai if she should turn and throw a deadly dagger. She glanced over with mild ammoyance and waved her hand lethargically at them. Apathy rolled in a lazy wave of her words, "Just take the bear," she said.

The Earth King ran forward, "BOSCO!" he hugged his pet tight and lead him away.

They all soon found Appa where they had left him outside. It took some encouragement to get the bear onto Appa's saddle, but the Earth King snuggled him close as they settled. Momo flew in chittering excitedly at them, so very happy to see them all. The joy crashed in a ball of fire in all their stomachs a moment later as Katara come into view, closed torn and tattered and a lifeless Aang in her arms. Sokka rushed over and helped Aang into the saddle and them pulled his sister up. Toph silently earthbended a lift for herself into the saddle and sat somberly. Sokka called "Yip Yip," and Appa, the giant flying bison, moved his six legs and slammed his tail to lift off into the air.

Escape was all Sokka could think. Escape as far away as they could, or at least to where his father's ship sailed. He headed for Chameleon Bay. Katara cradled Aang in her arms as the sun set and the stars pricked the blackening blanket of the sky. The Earth King sadly looked back at Ba Sing Se that shrank in the distance, "The Earth Kingdom… has fallen…"

Hope had almost gone from Katara when she glimpsed the moon and a flash of that inner light sparked in her eyes briefly. She gently laid Aang down and pulled her gift of sacred water from the Spirit Oasis of the North Pole from its little vessel on a chain around her neck. She removed the stopper, waterbending the tiny amount of liquid out. It glowed slightly in the moonlight. She used it to heal what she could on Aang's wounds. Her focus was to keep him from dying; he was so close to that already. It took all the Oasis water and all her skills. Aang back wound was deep. The burns were angry red and black. When she was done, knowing she would have much more to do for Aang to be healed, she gathered him in her arms and held him close. Her hair spilled down one side and rippled like water in the air and her tears meandered down her cheeks in hindered.

Aang inhaled a deeper breath and his tattoos glowed a moment. A barely audible groan of life escaped his lips. Katara gasped, and then smiled as she shifted Aang in her arms. His eyes fluttered open weakly. That face and those sky blue eyes once again called him to life as they did more than a year ago when he was first re-awakened by her from an iceberg. He smiled but could not manage the strength to touch her face or to speak. She hugged him gently; grateful that he still lived. 


	93. Chapter 93: Remembering Who You Are

_**Chapter 93 – Remembering Who You Are**_

The Dai Li dragged Iroh away to the metal dungeon. Azula tugged Zuko with her wondering why she must always be the one to do everything when he is around. Zuko glanced over his shoulder at where Aang and Katara escaped. It made Azula wonder if maybe by some extremely slim chance the avatar survived her blast. She doubted it, but then again, he was the avatar and Zuko kept looking back expecting him to reappear. She brushed it off for now as she had a good plan in mind as a backup.

Once in the throne room, the Dai Li cleaned up any indication of fighting and Azula had them hang the Fire Nation banners over all the Earth Kingdom ones. She sat with regal contentment as Zuko stood broodingly beside her. "We've done it, Zuko. It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se."

He muttered regretfully in a husky voice heavy with emotion, "I betrayed Uncle."

Azula rolled her eyes at her ridiculous brother. "No, he betrayed you." With a low purr in her tone she said, "Zuko, when you return home, father will welcome you as a war hero."

He frowned knowing his father all too well, "but I don't have the avatar."

Standing, Azula put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Remember who you are Zuko. You are the prince of the Fire Nation. Are you still worried about your honor and if he will restore it? He doesn't need to, Zuko. Today, you restored your own honor." Pleased with the start of her familial manipulations she retired to find some dinner and see what her two friends were up to. She could sense that Zuko was on shaky ground for loyalty, she decided to put her next plan in effect and tie him deeper into her clutches. Yes, she definitely needed to find her two friends.

Zuko turned away from Azula and looked down pensively.

_Remember who you are Zuko_, echoed Azula in his mind.

_Remember who you are_, echoed his uncle's voice from his fever dreams.

_My son, Never forget who you are,_ his mother's words rang loudest.

Zuko walked to a room Azula had indicated would be his to sleep in.

_Never forget who you are…_

_Who am I?_

He opened the shutters to the window to see out at the starry sky. He then shoved all the furnishings out but for a futon on the floor and a low table on which he set a single candle and some tea. _Never forget who you are… I will never forget. I am a prince, but my destiny is not to defeat my father._ He took a long slow deep breath through his root chakra. _I will be a father._ He took a second long deep breath through his navel chakra. _Honor is the law._ He took a slow breath through his solar plexus chakra and hoped Travahar and Mu-Tan were working behind the scenes against Azula. _Love is the bond._ He breathed long and slow through his heart chakra. He sensed Faelin was still safe. She had so much recovery still to do. He wished he could hold her now. He could feel her worrying for him and wanted to reassure her that he was fine. Each breath raised and lowered the candle flame. _One day the truth will be known, but the art of sound is also in its silence._ He took a deep breath resolving to hold this charade for now. He needed to have Azula think he was on her side. _All are one. All people deserve the equal right to live freely._ He took another breath resolving that freedom and equality, acceptance of all things, was part of who he was, prince or not. Ty-Min came to mind, Katara, Faelin, Mu-tan and Ling, Bao Li, the old waterbending woman, Travahar and Hwa Lan, Sun Fe… his uncle… that brash earth girl and Katara's goofy brother with the boomerang… even Aang, the avatar. They were people from all walks of life. People that touched him in different ways, like that small boy Lee who was so like Ty-Min that he hoped they one day met. He needed to remain by Azula's side, if for no other reason than to gain intelligence and find a way to slip that intelligence back to Mu-Tan and Travahar. _What intelligence I can discover can help undermine the Fire Nation and maybe help them stop my father from destroying the world with the power of the comet._ He took another breath through his third eye chakra trying not to let this charade sink down to his belly with shame for the betrayals he is sure people are seeing. _I have to let them all go, not cling to them or worry about them. They can take care of themselves and each other for now. Please oh gods and ancestors know that I am still holding to my vows of honor and love. Honor is the law and love is the bond. I do this for her. I do this for all people. I hope they will one day see that and understand that I have not betrayed them. Mother, I remember who I am. I know what I must do. Help them to trust and believe in me. Help them to trust and believe in themselves should they lose faith in me._ He took another slow deep breath through his crown chakra.

The candle flame rose and fell with his meditative breathing, till it flickered for a silent moment. Zuko did not move. An assassin stood behind him. He hoped it was Mu-Tan. He had so much to say to the man. The assassin sank down on delicate knees in a smooth ruffle of silks and slid her arms around him. Zuko turned his head to see who it was, confused. "Mai…"

"Shhh… I am sorry I disturbed your meditation." She whispered softly as she rested her cheek on the back of his shoulder. "I hate everyone and everything today. Let me share your quiet for a bit."

Not sure how to deal with this, he simply accepted it. He hated much about today too. He rested his arms over hers wishing they were Faelin's arms and continued his breathing meditation.

_Have I failed? _

_No Zuko… I loved watching you…That's who you are Zuko, someone who keeps fighting even though it is hard._

_Mom?_

_Shhh… Zuko, please my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are._

_Mother… I will never forget… and neither will my sister or father._

~ END ~

~~~ epilogue to follow ~~~


	94. Chapter 94: Epilogue & Author Notes

EPILOGUE and AUTHOR NOTES

Hello everyone!

Thank you so much for reading my epic! I can't believe I finished it!

I want to give out some very special thank your to some folks who have helped and encouraged me all along this very long path. First I thank Mike and Bryan for creating such an amazing story. Second I thank Avatar Portal Forum for being the source of inspiration, kicking me in the butt to write and being the first place to host this story in its horribly brutal and far less than even spell check edited rough draft. Thirdly I thank my husband for indulging my geeky/nerdy obsession with Avatar the Last Airbender.

Among other thank you are those to the people who helped me write this story by editing, or contributing various chapters: ZMP (Farrah), CharcoalRav3n (Rob), Travahar, and Coyote (Robyn). I also need to thank some very very special artists who have done work for my fanfic and helped me bring some of what was vaguely in my head to life: ZKZ (Friederike), LINK (Liliane), Kamena, Flutterbug, Airdrake, ZMP (Farrah… again), and Jontuyo.

Thanks need to go out to all the readers who have stuck it through my epic long fanfic. A heartfelt thanks go to you all. Stories are told best with an audience to appreciate them. So when you are reading fanfics by others, please remember to comment. Knowing people are reading encourages authors to keep writing.

Special thanks also goes out to .net for the availability of transcripts and screenshots that have also helped immeasurably.

This fanfic is ended.

I will start a new one called "Epilogue 100 to Never Forget Who You Are" so you may see how I tie Book 3: Fire and some of my other snippets together. There will be a sequel… but not till after the epilogue. The Epilogue 100 will consist of 100 shorts, moments in the months between Aang's fall to the end of the Fire Lord.

Bright blessings

In the name of all the ancestors and spirits

(including Agni)

ScarletCougar

T. Scarlet Jory


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